T64
Ask Auntie..............
May 31 2015
Comments
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Bring that fine arse of yours in here and take the couch Can't remember if you've been in here before? Haven't seen much of you lately You mention thread and needle play? I know little but ill tag along for the ride though. Youve caught me in a momentary lapse of reason No idea where the thread is Spotlight? Lets go find it. You can do a set of angel wings on me. In white of course. Virginal as i am When your done, hang me in your basement as a wallflower decoration. Abuse me, whip me. Sounds like too much fun Take me away. Im spent I need a break
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RHP User
10 years ago
Lovinit.,its a discussion in the Kinky taboo thread.under Hot Topics xx Freya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Dear Auntie I am in need of dating advice, I know that your experience in this area will be invaluable to me. Saturday night I ventured out on my first date in months. I had a great night. But I feel I have let the sisterhood down. You see after him spending $24 on a pizza I didn't put out....ok there was a pash & touch up in the car park but that's it. I'm a nice girl after all. Even though he was quite delicious and I could have banged him on the table in the first 5 minutes. Decorum and all that nonsense. I also didn't bombard him with texts afterwards. Just the thank-you for a nice night and I'm looking forward to seeing you again (we had discussed it) Coz you know, clingy! It frightens the willies. And then today (Tuesday) I get a text saying that he has met the love of his life on Monday. I also got a $65 parking ticket. I'm thinking crowdfunding to pay it 😊 Desperate & dateless in Perth 💋💋
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RHP User
10 years ago
The pizza was meat lovers.
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
Annie, you gorgeous thing you, I've missed you and your sweet words, they send shivers down to my, well you know to what!!!! Now as for my basement, I'm glad you haven't forgotten, I'm on the look out for a lovely playmate to use and abuse, be careful what you wish for honey.....❤️
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' Dear Auntie I am in need of dating advice, I know that your experience in this area will be invaluable to me. Saturday night I ventured out on my first date in months. I had a great night. But I feel I have let the sisterhood down. You see after him spending $24 on a pizza I didn't put out....ok there was a pash & touch up in the car park but that's it. I'm a nice girl after all. Even though he was quite delicious and I could have banged him on the table in the first 5 minutes. Decorum and all that nonsense. I also didn't bombard him with texts afterwards. Just the thank-you for a nice night and I'm looking forward to seeing you again (we had discussed it) Coz you know, clingy! It frightens the willies. And then today (Tuesday) I get a text saying that he has met the love of his life on Monday. I also got a $65 parking ticket. I'm thinking crowdfunding to pay it 😊 Desperate & dateless in Perth 💋💋 Well Red, glad to see you back on the horse. Well Almost...Dont be concerned about the $24You are oozing class holding out on that amount.Gawd some of the daredevils put out for less than a cup of coffee around here......Me. I'm a bottle of wine kind of girl. Red or white. Long as it comes in a bottle I'm everyone's.So I can be bought for 12 bucks I think. Depends on their shopping prowess.A bit of thought in the process with a nice label, well i'm impressed.Expensive bottle of champers, well I can stay the night. Guess I have too then though......Meat lovers eh?Bit of salami in there, could get the saliva a bit bitter or tangy.But a bit of pash and rub. He might have got a little dollar value back.And the promise of a future meet. I'm sure he'll bring a nice bottle then.That would make it, with a 10 dollar bottle, a $34 investment.Nothing to be sneezed at for a root. Especially with you. You could hold out for the $50 value prize I think.So don't put yourself down. On the contra ire, put yourself on the topshelf, girl.Speaking of which, I knew you were coming.Have a lovely bottle of shiraz here.....$26 worth.Am I a chance?Go and get on that steed next time. Never look back at that last slice left on the pizza tray. We all do though. Good luckAuntie Annie xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Shiraz! How did you know? I love a nice peppery Shiraz! Actually come have a peek at my boozearium. 400 bottles of small batch Australian wine makers. Take your pick darling. I will bring the verve to Radelaide... 2 straws. I will be the one on Stirrys face 😉 Until then I'm ordering the large meat lovers and taking the last slice. I knew you would have the answers. Thank you 😘
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
I will put up a thread but can't promise immediate action as I'm popping interstate for a bit of..umm...r&r. Watch out for it though, coming to an Adult Forum near you very soon!
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RHP User
10 years ago
you're such a suck up :p lmfao - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Deal. Shiraz is my go.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Dont see you in here much..... Got a problem i can help you with? Hows that prostrate? Need it checked? I have just the equipment
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RHP User
10 years ago
Is that all you got princess? 😉 Want to share a meat lovers? The salami is mine 😇
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
Can you please pop into this state and visit me, I miss you sugar....💋
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
I'll be there as soon as I can, miss you too hon, its been forever since we sat and laughed at the world xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' I also didn't bombard him with texts afterwards. Just the thank-you for a nice night and I'm looking forward to seeing you again (we had discussed it) Coz you know, clingy! It frightens the willies. And then today (Tuesday) I get a text saying that he has met the love of his life on Monday. Went out for a date with a guy - we agreed to go Dutch so we did. A brief kiss - being modest etc.. sent him the text the next morning "Thank you for the lovely company, Looking forward to seeing you again" 2 days later I get the text "Thanks- it was a great to meet you, but I am sorry I reconnected with my ex" I MEAN within 2 days! WTF? I really should have gone on "Married at first sight" I reckon...when are they hiring for the next series?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' Quoting 'SYDnobarbie' "Thanks- it was a great to meet you, but I am sorry I reconnected with my ex" I think that one must be in the top three of excuses not to catch up again (along with "I met someone and I want to see where it goes", and some major crisis/accident/death of a family member). When playing as a couple my FWB and I got that same line you received twice. I mean if someone did not like me just SAY SO! and say "oh I did not like you as I hoped you would turn up in tights and you showed up in jeans" or something meaningful....but no..."reconnected with my ex" within 48hrs?? DAMN that was fast and it seems I am good at mending SOMEONE ELSE's relationships..so I will be thinking of the good deed I have done whilst tossing my sorrow in the jumbo pack of chocolate ice cream
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RHP User
10 years ago
But you do have to wonder and laugh! if they think we're all so gullible 😉
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
I used the ex line myself years ago. But i said it to to a guy. He genuinely wished me good luck and believed it. It better than " my undie draw needs tidying"
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RHP User
10 years ago
Seems I'm obsessed with derrières, at least my own anyway. I love the shape of it. I love taking pics of it. I love viewing the pics I take of it. I can't help but run my hands over the silkiness and firmness of it. I love squeezing my cheeks and giving it a spank when I know I've been naughty. *Whispers* I am even fingering myself in the shower lately.... But don't tell my man I told you this as he is just as obsessed with my arse, if not more, and I haven't let him play with it in a long while 😏 It doesn't help that I'm seeing all these sexy arses, especially yours when I walk in here. Makes me want to grab and bite you all! So Auntie, do you think it's normal or do I need help? 💗 Tulips🌷 P.S. To all you readers with your round scrumptious derrières exposed, I suggest you cover up in my presence *Chomp! Chomp!* 😈 🌷 - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Come in Sweet. Your an Auntie virgin i think. I may be wrong. You know I was wrong once but i was wrong. I only thought i was wrong. So i was wrong with that because i was right. Glad we cleared that up. Now you look lke a champers girl. Climb up on the couch whilst i pour you one. Still some left. Lovenit was here and nearly cleaned me out. Now on your tummy and lets have a gander... .. Mmmmm........yes.... mmmmm......yeah You know l studied your profile photo.....well a little. ... Love the way your crack has that sense of mystery. That line of shadow that hides that lovely hole of yours. You are right. It has a luxurious sense of velvet as i run my hand over. Firm....like an autumn peach from the cold storage..... Mmmm. Stay there for a sec "Whack" Yes a lovely rose tinge where my paddle hit. Nice blood supply. Yes your description is perfect. You a coconut oil kind of girl? Haven't tried it? See how smooth my finger glides in. Nice eh! Yes darl, your arse is rating highly. My marks are a 8.9... What you thought you were a 9.5? Tell you what. Just glide your tongue over mine and ill mark you up a tad. 9.3. Yes thats nice. Can you get your tongue in there a bit..... yes. Yes. Yes. 9.6 sweets. Be proud. Be very proud. I would suggest a tight knitted dress. No undies. You'll own the street. Go forth Good luck Tulips Annie xxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
I was an Auntie virgin before you glided your gloriously oiled finger inside me.... mmmm... that does feel nice...do it again! And teasing that cute little hole of yours with my tongue would give me much joy. And no point upgrade necessary. The pleasure would be my own. Oh dear. feeling a tad bit tipsy now.....must be the champagne.....😵 You know I climbed on a tabletop once, in a fancy restaurant after ONE glass of champagne? If was the night of my life! I haven't drank another drop since my 21st birthday *hic* Thanks for the tip Auntie. I shall be wearing more tight dresses and less panties, or is that panti-less? Going to carry my 'almost perfect' (because there is always room for improvement) arse off to bed now. Will give it one more stroke before I sleep, just so I know it's still there and so it knows it's done me really proud. Good night Auntie. Sweet dreams of my tongue between your sweet butt cheeks 😊 Tulips 🌷 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Dear Annie....... All this bum natter has got me thinking. First of all - that study we discussed a while ago regarding red heads. Remember? Do you think I need to get out my invisible ink? Anyhoo, seems hypothesis has been proven. My sample was too small, so I cornered my beautician friend, who confirmed. :) But, that has brought me to my actual dilemma. I've had a friend staying. How unusual to have a flatmate - it certainly curtailed my lifestyle a lil. But, she was a conscientious friend, and decided to help, but tidying some of my drawers. I kept her away from the secret drawer in my drawer. But she found my not so secret, but partially hidden item in the bottom, of my bottom bathroom draw. And I think she has either thrown away, or moved my nozzle. Now - do I ask her about it, forget about 'that type of' play for a while, or just bite something and buy a new one? What's a gal today? Yours in many ways,MsBehindTheTimes
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RHP User
10 years ago
(dork)
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Hello my Sweetheart. Gawd there i go again with the terms of endearment. That i said i dont do...... Oh well. You are spez afterall. One of my regulars. If i cant endear you, who can i endear. Flatmates.......l cant live with them and l cant live with them. Far too restrictive. Bad enough sharing a body with my man. Gee i dont even have a spot for my nozzle. It hangs on the towel rail in my bathroom. Use it far too much to be putting the thing away. We have his and her bathrooms. Mines the biggest of course. But back to your probs. I suggest being on the front foot. Just ask her if she's seen your attachment for the watering can. You are getting some African Violets and they need to be watered via the roots only. You know. No water on the foliage. Or you could go the medical angle. You have chronic constipation and doctor prescribed it. Just mention you put it in the drawer cause she was arriving. And you forgot to wash it....... If either excuse is not suitable come back to me. I have others i can roll out. And i can roll out the garden hose here if you want a bit of cleansing squirt. Its got one of those turbo nozzles. We could get down and personal now but I'm thinking that well, you might be full of it. Nothing worse you are getting it on and your partner says stop. " l need to take a dump. Wont be long. Keep the motor running" Good luck. Auntie Annie. Xxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'd be mortified if family stumbled upon my nozzle. At least my friend already suspected I was a closet fiend.
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RHP User
10 years ago
some African Violet's! <3
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sweetgem
10 years ago
I am revisiting in the hope of getting help with overcoming my heartbreaking pain that I am finding it hard to endure at the moment! 😢 Last week, a friend of mine passed away with prostate cancer and his passing came like a shocking thunder strike to me! Because I did not know my friend was ill with cancer for the entire time that he was ill! My friend was a brave strong fighter, and been six years older than me and knew me well, he hid it so well from me about his cancer! So I only knew that he was quite ill and that was all. Of course, part of my oversight about my friend's illness was due to my own huge challenges at home, which demand a lot of my time and energy. Therefore, I had not been able to visit my friend for more than six months and suddenly, out of the blue, I received the shocking news that he had passed last week! Prior to this friend's passing, I had also lost another friend (I'll call him Mr T here) to cancer 16 months ago! And he was younger than me! Hence, I was affected enormously by Mr T's passing! I cried my eyes out every time I heard the "Fast & Furious 7" theme song "See You Again" 😢 It took me about a year and a bit to overcome the grief of my loss of a good friend, and as I was just about to find my courage not to cry to the "see you again" song, my other friend passed away unexpectedly! Both friends were good men, good fathers to their children, and well respected men amongst their families and friends! 😢😢😢😢 Therefore, both friends' passing have sent my emotions to the sad grieving corner and I'm finding it hard to walk away from that corner right now! More so when I realised that I have indeed already begun going to my own friends' funerals in my 30s! This reality must be a joke that the Universe is cracking on me! 😢 How do I overcome this grief and loss pain please auntie? Is time my best medicine for healing my heartache? Respectfully Mourning gem 😢 - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Come in gorgeous. My, arent you looking Fab. The new you. Well done. Take a pew darls. Let me get you a drink. A quadriple tequila and we might try and fit some juice and ice in as well. Im on the phone so trying not to space the lines and watching my spelling here. I understand what you are saying. There is no magic word or funny line that i can use to ease the pain you are feeling. Just as each of us are so different, so is the way our personalities deal with grief. As well as that, throw in religion and our up bringing. So many factors that come into play with the loss of those we know and those we have deep feelings for. I had grief counselling every day for months when i was 19. My TS gf took her life after a brutal bashing. It affected me to the extent i was non functional. So i know a bit about the process. The result on me was far reaching. I find myself removed too much from the grieving process. What do i mean? I lost firstly my mother in law and then my mother within five months last year. I was accused of being insensitive by my estranged wife when her mother passed. And i had similar feeling after my mother passed. Both had slow deaths. I wish i was not so robotic with death. I think if i could, more emotion would make me more normal. What you are feeling is a normal response. It may make you feel bad but you are in touch with your emotions. That's not a bad thing. Its respecting your friends and the relationship you had with them. You will respect those feelings more as time heals the bad stuff. Better you feeling that way than questioning your self about your lack of emotion. Hard to explain really but absorb those emotions as they are part of your depth. Death can scare us so much. And as we age and see the people that were part of our lives as we grew up, die, it brings into our thoughts, our own mortality. We think more about death and what lays beyond. There is no avoiding the end result. Some of us arrive there prematurely. So we need to shine whilst we can. Live our lives to the utmost. I know of your home situation Sweetgem. I so much respect the manner you are providing care for your parent. I could not do what you doing. And i think that your home situation is compounding the feelings you have for your friends that have passed. But accept those feelings of grief. Remember your friends in the way they would like to be remembered. It may be hard for you to think so at this time but your turn to shine again will come. I hope I've given you some sense of it all. Death is a part of our life. Accept it and remember those that go before us. Love life and live it. Good luck Sweetgem Hugs and kisses Auntie
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sweetgem
10 years ago
Thank you for your kind response and advice. I know what you mean about remembering my friends in the way that they would like to be remembered, and I will leave the grieving corner in a matter of time. I know I will. But for now, I just want to mourn for a little more 😢 Life is a bitch sometimes, but nothing I can do except to kick its arse with mind power and strength! 👊🏼👊🏼 Once again, thank you kindly for your time given Auntie Annie, take care xx Respectfully Mourning gem - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Mourning is a personal thing. Everyone is affected differently. Keeping busy helps many people. If it becomes overbearing, proper counselling can help. You don't have to do it alone so to speak. But having said that, grieving is a very lonely thing. Message me again if it helps to ease it. Annie xxx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'CucknShells' Has been a while. Hope you have been well.I am still having weird dreams last being of another poster. However that is another story. The thing that I have been thinking about is that when I turn 50 I would like to have a party and invite my family and friends. I would love to invite some of the great friends I have made here. The problem is how do explain how I met my friends from here and how I have known them for a long time but none of my family and friends have ever heard about them before? Shells. Hello beautifulCome on in. Nice to have company.Every one has forgotten me. Seems I've fixed all their problems and they have no need for Auntie anymore.......Have a lay down and I'll get you a nice glass of Pinot.You will have to excuse my apprentice Niece Summer. She's a long way off being an Auntie with that sort of answer of a book club............ Too many sexy fuckers to be sitting around reading books.Dearie me. What predicament would you be in if your Aunt Gladys walk into the back bedroom and finding a couple of your friends spit roasting one of their partners............? Maybe they had been reading the Ethical Slut? No. Your story must match the situation.And I say, if its worth a bullshit story, you may as well make it an elaborate one.My path for you.........You are a volunteer relationship counsellor.You work selflessly behind the scenes as you have no wish for the accolades that may come with the success of your part time work.All your new guests are your clients who have so much gratitude for the work that you have put into their relationships that they have built a personal relationship with you and insisted on coming to your big night celebrations. Their presence is the evidence of your achievements. They are so full of love for each other it's overflowing onto others.That way, if Aunt Gladys should mosey on into the back bedroom, your story will match the scene she encounters. They are working on their relationships. Sharing the advice and the love. Practising what they have learnt from the great one_you!Now the only dilemma you have to solve is how to get all your family and relatives to piss off early so you can get down and dirty with your clients and turn it all into a private party to see in the sunrise for your big 50.As a fall back and it all goes pear shape from shouts and hollers from Aunt Gladys, you end up confessing you are a sex counsellor. That should fit any scene that presents itself on the night if your friends from here cant keep their undies on for a few hours. They are doing their home work............. As a side note, it has crossed my mind how my funeral might go with the family and friends mingled with the Pie crowd.Figured maybe a home video with a few of them starring in action with Annie. Who by the way, from another thread would be dressed in her finery. Should be a fitting result maybe. Never a dull moment in the world of Annie. Anyway Shells, give that some thought. Could work. If anyone can pull it off, it's you...........excuse the pun.Come on, drink up and lets work on the sex therapist angle. I'll give you some lingo and some moves............. Good luck Shells Auntie Annie xxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm really nervous because I've never been on your couch before. Hope you'e gentle with me Here's my problem. I'm been having trouble sleeping. I think about sex 24/7 and even if I do go to sleep, I'm awake again a few hours later. So quite often wake between midnight and 2am and don't go back to sleep, then shattered the next day. Before my eyes even open, sex is my first thought, and hands start wandering. Even when I do have sex, I want more. So hoping you'll have some advice and um ideas to fill in time through the night when I'm wide awake Thanks Auntie
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't think I've been on your couch. If I have, I don't remember, did we have drinks
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Go the "hands on sex therapist" option. The guests are all works in progress. Group therapy..........
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Couch is closed temporarily until my PC has some power. And the beer isn't cold......
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RHP User
10 years ago
Just read on the other thread, your week isn't getting any better
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' I'm really nervous because I've never been on your couch before. Hope you'e gentle with me Here's my problem. I'm been having trouble sleeping. I think about sex 24/7 and even if I do go to sleep, I'm awake again a few hours later. So quite often wake between midnight and 2am and don't go back to sleep, then shattered the next day. Before my eyes even open, sex is my first thought, and hands start wandering. Even when I do have sex, I want more. So hoping you'll have some advice and um ideas to fill in time through the night when I'm wide awake Thanks Auntie Come in now darl.Power is back on and the couch is ready for you.Dont be nervous, I will be gentle on you. You look a bit tense.Here take one of these purple things. Lily gave them to me. She says they work a treat.Wash it down with a nice Pinot Gris. Here. Scull.Now I've had plenty of time to think about your little problem.1 option come straight to mind.One of Chev's fucking machines.Forever ready in the corner of the bedroom, ready to be mounted at the slightest inclination.Hopefully without Chev standing behind his product..........And with the latest model, a 58 speed with double clutch with leather trim and painted in racing red.Bonus is that he makes them right there in Western Australia. You will be able to deal directly with him with the sales and service aspects. How good's that??With 12 different sized attachments there is bound to be one that takes your fancy and mood.Be able to fuck yourself silly without leaving the house.Stick a porno on in the background for the soundtrack. Close the eyes and away your go to O land.Wont do much for your neighbours I wouldn't imagine. Perhaps keep the windows shut.And don't forget the drip tray underneath. Your carpet will love me for that tip.Although Chev will give you lots of tips I imagine.So does that idea give you any..........Why are you lifting my skirt?Oh.....a bit randy are we?I see what you mean. Anytime, anyplace........Want a bit of the Annie fucking machine. Let me strap you in.........And drink up. That little purple number is kicking in.Let me take you to heaven. Good luck touch. Nice touch you have. Now you've seen the couch, don't be shy.But give me a couple of days to recover before you come back. Auntie Annie xxx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Come in friend. We both need a hug. Close the door and ill grab a doona. Lets snuggle.......
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sweetgem
10 years ago
Within a month, I have had two cold sore outbreaks! The second round occurred just slightly a week after the first lot healed! It's painful and annoying and I need new lips! I'm so over cold sore! Please auntie, do you know why cold sore strike? I know I can google, but I guess I'm looking for an opportunity to rant like a child crying for attention 😫 I'm dread that I might get a third round after the current lot heals! Touch wood! 😬😬 any advice for me to prevent it please auntie? Sincerely Cold sore victim - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'sweetgem' Within a month, I have had two cold sore outbreaks! The second round occurred just slightly a week after the first lot healed! It's painful and annoying and I need new lips! I'm so over cold sore! Please auntie, do you know why cold sore strike? I know I can google, but I guess I'm looking for an opportunity to rant like a child crying for attention 😫 I'm dread that I might get a third round after the current lot heals! Touch wood! 😬😬 any advice for me to prevent it please auntie? Sincerely Cold sore victim - Posted from rhpmobile Hello Sweetgem.Come in, lovely to see you. (shakes hand and gives air kiss)Take a chair (discretely uses the antiseptic bottle behind desk)Can I get you a drink (ditches rubber gloves)Sorry, only paper cups, I haven't done the dishes (slides closed the cupboard door with row upon row of clean glasses)Mmmm. See you have the dreaded herpes.Look at the positives. You wont need any lip enhancements in the short term.Gee, you can hardly notice it.............Well, lets look at some more positives.I guess we have all googled the shit out of the subject over the years.But did you know..........we had HSV 1 and HSV 2. No, they are not the latest holden sedans with all the tricks.Now I have read, that the two have started to mingle and morph into a combined entity.Which means?Well, up to now, you got HSV 1 primarily on the mouth. #2 on the genitals.Yes of course you can catch either in the other place but a good chance is that #1 will not survive on the genitals and you may only have the one episode. And likewise #2 may not survive on the mouth and again maybe just the one episode?Problem being with all that, the tests that we have for these viruses will tell us that we have the antibodies in our bodies and therefore been exposed. So for those that have had #2 on the mouth and perhaps the virus did not survive past the first episode or 2, the test will say you have been exposed and for all intensive purposes to our pending sexual partners, a carrier and therefore to be avoided like the plaque and perhaps sent to the dungeon to play with like infected peoples.Now with the new morphing of the virus, different anti bodies will be present and not picked up by the current tests and therefore given the all clear.The result will be total confusion.But never mind Sweetgem. You more than likely have #1. And will be just one of the 90% of the population that is carrying the virus. But then, maybe you have #2 on the mouth. Good odds if that is the case, it will clear and you may never have another episode ever. But your HSV2 test will come back positive forever..............What would you prefer?One lifes conundrums. Eh?You finished your drink?Just chuck the cup in the rubbish bin across the road on you way out gorgeous. I must dash, I have another appointment.(gets the can of Glen20 out of cupboard in preparation)Mwah. good luck with that I do love you though. Come back when you are better and you can lay on the couch with me again..................
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RHP User
10 years ago
I see shit cunts!!!! They're everywhere!! Why do they stalk me like this?? Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
10 years ago
They say sharing is caring, no? I must have been tricked into buying the saying then 😝 Oh by the way, I am not a zombie, not yet anyway, and sorry that I have touched your can of Glen20 (while you were not staring at me) as I've accidentally touched my cold sore and was looking for some strong chemical to kill the virus on my fingers 😛 hope I didn't infect you auntie, sorry 😋 - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
You'll be right hun. Just one of life's little niggles. You are certainly not alone with the ailment. And there us a cure on the way. Try for less stress if possible and get the herbal remedy which may help. And for all the sufferers, i was trying for a less serious approach and hopefully didnt offend. Auntie Annie Xx
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sweetgem
9 years ago
I totally got your approach/joke in your first response, that's why I replied with the zombie joke in return 😛 I was laughing so hard last night as I read your response and thought I would play along 😛 so no offence taken and thank you for the good humour, as always xx Life is too random and unpredictable! Many people did not, and do not, get to laugh/smile, but I do, so why waste my opportunity, is my philosophy 😀 - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
I see them too! I have 1 behind me right now...... I run like the wind but cant lose it. Look over your shoulder, there will be one there......
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On_Safari
9 years ago
I have a semi-hot date tomorrow night and while I want to impress I don't really feel like shaving my legs or veet-ing my va-jay-jay because I really don't see the date going that way (humming "do you fuck on first dates ooh la la LaLa) and it's really really cold!!! I'd really like to wear a dress and stockings which I can't if I'm hairy scary ...... Am I being a slacker? What would you do? ~ 🤔 Indy in need
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On_Safari
9 years ago
Thursday date off. He asked via txt message if I liked women and I said yes some of my friends are women. He then said he'd read enough and not to worry.....lol I'll have to remember liking women is a bad thing 😳🙄😉🤓. On the upshot I can keep my pelt and stay warm!!! 🎉🎉 but it does annoy me that even when I try being more ...... No less stringent in my screening methods ..... those persons still end up being the wanna fuck types they say they aren't. He went on to say something about me being on a sex site full of bi men and bi women and I'm like.....and your point is? I think it's fair to say I've eaten enough vagina to know I like penis....that's not to say I may never munch on va -jay-jay again it simply says I'm not bi. Shoot me 🔫 If I ever go against my gut again and think about plunging into a meet I'm not excited about! 😎
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari' I have a semi-hot date tomorrow night and while I want to impress I don't really feel like shaving my legs or veet-ing my va-jay-jay because I really don't see the date going that way (humming "do you fuck on first dates ooh la la LaLa) and it's really really cold!!! I'd really like to wear a dress and stockings which I can't if I'm hairy scary ...... Am I being a slacker? What would you do? ~ 🤔 Indy in need Quoting 'On_Safari' Thursday date off. He asked via txt message if I liked women and I said yes some of my friends are women. He then said he'd read enough and not to worry.....lol I'll have to remember liking women is a bad thing 😳🙄😉🤓. On the upshot I can keep my pelt and stay warm!!! 🎉🎉 but it does annoy me that even when I try being more ...... No less stringent in my screening methods ..... those persons still end up being the wanna fuck types they say they aren't. He went on to say something about me being on a sex site full of bi men and bi women and I'm like.....and your point is? I think it's fair to say I've eaten enough vagina to know I like penis....that's not to say I may never munch on va -jay-jay again it simply says I'm not bi. Shoot me 🔫 If I ever go against my gut again and think about plunging into a meet I'm not excited about! 😎 Hello Sweets.Nice to have you back again. Been a while.Sorry for the delay. Life seems to get in the way occasionally. Inconsiderate bitch it is.I'll get us a drink or six. Been a little while since we shared a shandy. 12 months.And answering your own post here.....what's the story?Anyway, I'm a bit flabbergasted that there is actually a male out there that can honestly put there hand up and say they are just not into women who like women?Where the fuck did you find him? LOL. RSVP??Anyone else out there who can fess up that one? A rarity surely. You dodged a bullet I'd say. But back to the hair question in case it comes up in the near future.Men in the state of excitement will really not care less if you have a hairy wizzer. Or even tarantula legs will still be acceptable in the heat of the moment. But moments after the python has spat...........well maybe pants on and out of there. But that's a sure sign of the man he is as he zips up as he pulls the door closed behind him. Hopefully with the stiletto dint in the back of his head. We all have out hairy moments. Surely we are more than a bit of skin and hair to them. A bit more than a nice hole I would hope. Those with hairy balls are the judgemental ones I would dare to say. Let a man with a smooth crutch and sack cast the first stone there.But you knew the answer. If you had been feeling the future meet, you would have flicked the razor with much abandon. Yes, go with your gut. If you are heading out the door feeling a bit sorry for the hairy muff that is struggling to contain itself within your beige colored comfy undies, perhaps a moment of reflection of your intentions and reconsider your real desire to meet. Perhaps fill the bath and have a soak with your fav dildo. Maybe even reflect on those moments when you have munched on the odd vag. And cum hard..............More drinks Indy?i'm in the mood. And my balls are hairy so there is no competition to impress.Up on the couch my beauty............... Good luck Indy Next time maybe you will score. Auntie Annie xxx
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On_Safari
9 years ago
PS Rohan, you will be pleased to know; has a schmoothe sack and crack....lol his back is a wee bit hairy just a wee bit hairy here n there. Silverback even😳 No I wasn't feeling it BUT I keep thinking my screening must be so damned harsh as most don't even make it past the first message let alone get my number! So I have moments where I think OK I'll give this punter a fair stick.....in answer to the liking girls bit.... He asked if I liked women. I gave my answer adding that Or meet was a suck n see and as such I wasn't going to indulge in chat of a sexual nature until we met. He then said I got my wires crossed and he wasn't talking about sex (raising eyebrows incredulously). I didn't come down in the last shower and I think he was after some wank fodder because I called him out on it he bolted. Yeah not my cup of tea behaviour in a man either. (You are very accurate in your assessment that manicuring WOULDN'T be an effort for the right man) Anyhoo it has been too long between drinks.....Sydney? Or are the Melb Crew hosting again soon? Or would you come North next year for the right amount of sucking up? Lol 💋 xx
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Ill go wherever my freshly shaved balls take me. Hell, I've even started lasering them.( Have to laser something. Not much hair left anywhere else). Melbourne m&g must be soon. Been a while.......ahem.....
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RHP User
9 years ago
First of all, I love your taste in shoes. I've worn globes for as long as I can remember. I still do and I always will. Also I'm trying to find a fwb and I haven't even been with a woman for almost 10 years. How do I prepare for sex after that long to make sure that I deliver what is expected? These are the things that keep me awake at night. - Posted from rhpmobile
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OzRednecks
9 years ago
Due to a tragic event that has happened to me recently, I have come to realise that a woman, who I thought was my friend, doesnt want to see me unless its me helping her or comforting her (which is regular). She works next door to me. She knows what has happened and has avoided me when I have really needed a friend. I feel like shit. What should I say to her when she comes running to me with her next problem? Im not one to turn away someone that needs help but I'm feeling resentful as it was me that needed help and support this time. She denied me. Please Auntie Annie, any advice? Im a bit lost.
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Customers.... Give me a bit to dust and get rid of the cobwebs. Be open shortly. A strong coffee for these 2 posts.......
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'geelonglad78' First of all, I love your taste in shoes. I've worn globes for as long as I can remember. I still do and I always will. Also I'm trying to find a fwb and I haven't even been with a woman for almost 10 years. How do I prepare for sex after that long to make sure that I deliver what is expected? These are the things that keep me awake at night. - Posted from rhpmobile Well come on in. Forgive the smell of the mothballs. And the dead blowflies on the window sill......You know how to impress.A Globe shoe wearer. You should do well in here.I must comment on your recent introductions into the forum here.Many would have noticed that your first few posts were somewhat negative and bordering on a worrying attitude.Some responded and made some suggestions to your approach and your profile.I can say I am impressed by your action of taking on board those suggestions and actively changing both your profile and your attitude in your posting.Many other males have been in your position and have not even bothered to take on suggestions.So full credit to you, well done. I have also read one of your introduction messages to one of the females in RHP.It was an impressive message showing courtesy and respect and ticked many boxes that women in here have indicated they like to see in a first message. In that respect, you are in front of many other guys.Just keep up that attitude and the courtesy, you will succeed at some point. Not saying it will be easy mind. May not happen this week or next. Or even this month. But keep at it and just keep the faith. As far as the sex goes. Not having been with a woman for so long. Just dont stress about it. Be honest with those you meet up with. If she is an understanding soul, it may well be a beautiful experience. Go with the flow and think about her needs and she will take care of yours. No different than losing your virginity, just it may be the second time round for you.Human nature will prevail. Your profile paints a nice picture of you. Stay true to that and the rest will come naturally. And my door is always open if you have other questions or concerns. I will help anyone if I can. Best of luck Auntie Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'hesheWA' Due to a tragic event that has happened to me recently, I have come to realise that a woman, who I thought was my friend, doesnt want to see me unless its me helping her or comforting her (which is regular). She works next door to me. She knows what has happened and has avoided me when I have really needed a friend. I feel like shit. What should I say to her when she comes running to me with her next problem? Im not one to turn away someone that needs help but I'm feeling resentful as it was me that needed help and support this time. She denied me. Please Auntie Annie, any advice? Im a bit lost. Come in and take off a load.Thankyou for a second serious question in a row.Hard to make light today.Here have a sambucca shot. And repeat 5 times. Better?Works for me...........Seriously.No right answer here really.All depends on your makeup. As i depend on mine........Firstly, you need to look after you. That's the important step. Bit like the emergency instructions in an aircraft. Fix your own oxygen mask before helping others.Work out your bestie or that unique someone that you can depend on. It's obviously not your friend you are talking about.That's ok. We are all different. She obviously has no reserve to help others. A very needy person from where I sit.Debrief yourself with your one you can count on. Get the help you need. Make sure you are ok and able to work through the trauma that is in your life. If you have nothing in reserve to help others, that's fine. You owe her nothing if she is not in your inner circle. Significant other, your family. Those that care about you.Even family can become expendable if they offer no support over extended periods. It's your life and you need to do whatever to maintain quality within it. Gawd, family. That's a whole subject there so let's swipe left.Presuming you can get that support from elsewhere and are in a good place, what to do with your friend?It sounds like you are a caring person having helped her in the past. It that's the person inside you and that trait is important to you then you can reach out to her. It helps the inner you when you feel you have provided some needed support to someone needy. It's in most of us. But you can label her as what she is, keep her at arm's length. Just someone you know and needs support.Remember she is needy, help her only if you can and not at your own expense. People are an unknown quantity. She may be at a breaking point herself and not have reserve to help others. You do not know where she is mentally. At the extreme end, people have taken their lives and those that have known them had no idea they were at the bottom point. That's when people reflect after and appoint blame onto themselves which is a heavy burden for time to come. I have been there. It can be a life long burden.Sorry for getting heavy.I think I covered too much maybe but hope you can take something from the above.I hope you have that special someone you can talk too. Lets have another round of shots.did I mention I like your profile shots. Nice rack.......And you have fly friday all set as well. Very impressed. You are special. Good luck. Auntie Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Thankyou. I read these posts and an answer usually springs up straight away. Then i overthink it for a while and end up writing pretty much what came up initially. I hope it all helps someone, somehow. I am humbled by the support of this thread over 15 months. Blown me away in fact. Thankyou all. Xxx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'geelonglad78' First of all, I love your taste in shoes. I've worn globes for as long as I can remember. I still do and I always will. Also I'm trying to find a fwb and I haven't even been with a woman for almost 10 years. How do I prepare for sex after that long to make sure that I deliver what is expected? These are the things that keep me awake at night. - Posted from rhpmobile Promise I'll be gentle. And thanks Annie for your advice to our lad here.......you're a great mate as always xo.
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'usrightnow' Dear Aunty Annie., .So glad I was able to find your office. I have a question, well, it's for someone who possibly resembles me, same height, same number of teeth, same hair colour, same... well, anyway, this person has been looking for some ankle boots with about a 3 inch heel, and the only ones they've found that fit the bill regarding looks and size are on a site in The U.S. . Now, paying all that money and getting them sent here, whoops, to a random place in Australia, only to find they don't fit would be dreadful. So, do you know anywhere here in Australia that caters for the larger foot, shall we say 😃😉 . Just thought perhaps you may have ideas on the subject. Thank you so much for your time. The present décor is quite something. Mr. urn. . (on behalf of Mr. urn. ). Well this is a pleasant surprise.No one has been around these parts for so long.Yes I redecorated recently. Ummm, you like the round couch?And the pink shagpile is so easy to keep clean. Hard to find your car keys if you drop them but crumbs and bits just disappear..........Come in and try out the couch. It's a round water bed. Isn't that cosyLet me get you a drink.It's a flaming Bue Lamborghini. Watch your hair.Now shoes Mr Urn?First come to mind that you were looking for ladies ankle boots but sussed out your profile and there is no mention of cross dressing tendencies. But we all start somewhere. Some start at the head and work their way down.Mrs Urn know about this?Coming clean about this behaviour can have its moments you know.But no judgements here of course. To the point though. I shop locally for my shoes. As you mention, it can be hard to get the fit. Width is the key for ladies footwear.Length is one thing........and how are you for length? Are you long?Why are you holding your crotch? I'm talking about your foot length........Mr Urn. Later. Business first. I'm a professional. Besides, the drink hasn't taken affect yet.Your options are Australian sizing, American, UK or European. Now if you get all those worked out let me know. It's a nightmare. Then there is the Chinese version of all of the above. And if their clothing versions are anything to go by, good luck.My recommendations are to shop local. Don't be afraid to go in and try them for size. I've been known to bowl in my man gear and slip on numerous heels. They have seen it all and a sale is a sale. You just need a place that specialises in larger sizes with wider fit. Mens feet are so much wider than our counterparts. Not something you can shop with confidence with on the internet. But google is your friend. Get the size right here first and then maybe try overseas. Now I have some shoes that might look good on you. How about a 4 inch stilletto? And I bought some wigs and things. Some makeup. We will have you done to the tees before you know it. Get your pants off............Mmmmm. You are long.Well I guess the dress ups can wait.........You like my 7 inch wedge?Those apricot g strings look great on you.......... Good luck with your shoe choice Mr Urn Auntie Annie x
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MsJonesy
9 years ago
Silly me, this is quite clearly the correct place! So Auntie Annie.... If a cup of tea is made at 12.40am on 10/11, and the milk that is sloshed into it is labelled use by 9/11..... Am I going to be struck down with all manner of intestinal issues, bouts of the dreaded bum runs, crippling pains and weird tummy gurgles? Does 40 minutes really make a difference?
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
You are quite correct.You have arrived at the correct place. I tackle all the hard issues here........Take a seat. Mind the wet patch though.I'm glad you've come in so I can clear this up for youThe answer is in your question."use by 9/11....."You have used the milk 24 hrs and 40 mins too late.........It says use by the 9th, not use by the 10th. Not use on the 9th...... By the sound of your stomach gurgling, next train down that track is the chocolate express.Best Mama Annie get the baby powder and nappie. You wont make it home............Now on your back and make some baby noises........ Be careful of those cups of teas Jonesy. You and cups of teas reminds me of a certain after party of a meet and greet.And with Sydney coming up and most of the same players in attendance..........gawd. All the best with thatAuntie Annie xxx
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MsJonesy
9 years ago
Is that what 'use by' means?! 😜 Thanks for clearing it up Auntie Annie, your the best 😆
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
I agree. That's cocktail hour, not cup of tea time. She needs to harden up.......
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MsJonesy
9 years ago
I may have been waiting for my booty call to arrive, and hard liquor (love that term!!) would have made it exceptionally hard to a) engage with the booty and b) get to work today. And both of those were a necessity!!
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Check out Rosenberg Shoes in Victoria. They specialise in large and wide fitting. Its my go to shoe shop. Good website. X
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Obi1kenietzsche
9 years ago
The house next door to me has recently been occupied by what seems to be a group of old ladies. Normally this would be perfectly fine, but they are obviously hell bent on destroying the place (such as ripping up floor boards and digging holes in the gardens). They are also making heaps of noise and partying up til late which keeps me awake at nights. When I went over and complained, two of the big ones told me to "fuck off" and one of the other ones even propositioned me. I need my sleep, what can I do? Snorkus
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Come in darl.......Snorkus. That is an interesting name.Should I go there? I guess not but thinking it may be something to do with what you say in your profile about going down on a woman for hours..........Dearie me.Did you go down on the old chook next door for hours?Lets not go there. But you being 50, what age does that make the "old Ladies"? 70?Partying all night............niceMake yourself comfy on the round couch there and l'll get you a drink. You look like a beer man.Well, your problem needs drastic action I say.The immediate answer came to me within a minute of reading your post. Too easy but so easy, I had to think for a while if you know what I mean. If you do this half arse, it will make it worse. You need to do it properly the first time.You are going to need a big set of balls for this. And a mate or 2 to help.Listen up. I will say this only once........... I loved that show. Hello Hello.Anyway, back on track Annie.Okay. You will need to case out the local cemetery. You need a body. A fresh grave.You and your mates will need to dig one up. Take it out of the coffin a heave it in the boot.Put the coffin back in and make it like you were never there.Next. When the old ladies are out for the count, you will need to plant the said body in one of the holes in their backyard. Cover it up.Next. Phone the cops from a phone booth. I presume they still have those??? Or a prepaid mobile with no trace back to you. You tell the cops that you have seen something suspicious. You think you saw a body being buried in the back yard of the old ladies house. Done. Cops turn up very promptly. Search the joint and body found. Ladies are arrested and taken away.Problem is solved.What could possibly go wrong?Maybe they bust you for grave robbing. Hopefully you wont. I'd suggest a few episodes of CSI to hone the skills required.You get done still? 1-2 years. Time off for good behaviour. 6 months you'll be out. And look at the positives to that. 6 months of lights out at 8pm. Catch up on that sleep. How rested will you be?And by the time you get out, you'll be changing that profile of yours to Bi-sexual. Very popular with the married ladies.... Win Win my friend.Thank me later.Good luck........... Auntie Annie xx
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Obi1kenietzsche
9 years ago
Auntie Annie, you are my savior! The solution was there, staring me in the face all the time, but I just couldn't see it. Your solution is just so obvious! Thank the lucky stars you are here to sort this mess out. I will let you know how it all goes. Love and snorky kisses all over. Snorkus.
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
All the best. Let me know if it goes pear shape. I'll come visit you in jail. Maybe we can arrange one of those visits with benefits. ........
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Obi1kenietzsche
9 years ago
"VIB" ...Lol!
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sweetgem
9 years ago
First of all, please pardon me for visiting (3rd time I think?) again Auntie Annie, but I need to and I am so happy to "see" you again :) As you know my story and what I'm going through in the real world, Auntie, you know well why I am still remaining on RHP while I am not seeking any company. However, even on here I still cannot have the peaceful times that I seek! Should I leave RHP, Auntie? :( I have been ignoring many challenging comments that some forumites have directed at me for all this time, knowing that what other people say or think about my comments, or even about me, isn't my problem! However, those challenging rains just won't move away from above my head and am getting tired of being some smartarses' picking/challenging target! Why can't some people have respect and use their intelligence wisely? I guess, Auntie Annie, that my core purpose for revisiting your rooms tonight is to have a vent and let it all out 😛 However, having said that, I am seriously about whether or not I should take another long break from RHP? Warm regards Tired SG xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
No apology needed for the visit. Been thinking of starting reward cards. Every 5 visits you receive a free Orgasmic Meditation session with me. I may even supply the rubber glove. You may need to Google that...... Anyway down to business. We are all here for our own reasons. Only the person can say if being here is fulfilling that need. You have been a regular forum contributor for a long while. We all know it can be challenging at times. We offer our opinions but by doing so, we therefore invite challenges to those opinions. We cannot expect everyone to agree as that goes against the purpose of the forum. If you believe in your comments then you can reasonably expect that you can defend them and elaborate in case your meanings are taken the wrong way or misinterpreted. People will respond in various ways. Hopefully in a respectful and kind manner. And just as they may misinterpret your meaning, you may take their challenge the wrong way and your feelings may get hurt. There is no easy way around that. You may feel confronted regularly. If you feel you cannot handle that, then this place may not be for you. Remember you have a high level of stress in your life already and any additional may not be easily handled. People quoting you is not attacking you. Many people use it for clarity in their post. It is often a sign of courtesy so everyone can follow the conversation. In short, you may need to harden up or get some waterproof spray for your back so the shit rolls off. You mske a nice contribution here. It would be a shame if you left. So think about it. Some have short breaks from this place. You can check out any time you like but you can never leave. Hugs and kisses. Come back soon and work towards that OM session..... Auntie Annie xxxx
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sweetgem
9 years ago
Thank you for your time and guidance, and the laugh about waterproof spray 😂😂😂😂 chatting to you is a great therapy and I sincerely thank you for that 🙏🏼😙 I do not expect everyone to agree with me on things. No, I am not naive in that sense :) but I do want to be left alone for when I make a response to someone else's topic in the Forums. I would not have an issue for people to challenge my ideas or opinions if I opened a new topic myself because, it would make more sense in that way. But not when I was only making a reply to someone else's topic, and that I did not challenge or criticise anyone first! Frankly speaking, I am often not the only one to make different opinions, other people do the same, in the same topic, but why didn't they get challenged, in the same topic, is what I don't understand! I totally understand that a forum involves different opinions and invites challenges on the opinions. I just don't like it when there are other forumites who make similar opinions as mine, but theirs are acceptable and mine get challenged! Perhaps people see value in some of my opinions? Perhaps they don't but just looking for an excuse to take their tension out on me? I don't know, but whatever it is, I do not appreciate the attention! :) Anyways, I have now made myself clear enough about the unwanted attention! Therefore, I will continue to ignore those written challenges and just pacing in here at my own pace :) I must google what orgasmic meditation mean 😛 I love learning new vocabulary and I must admit, I have learned many new words since I came into the Forums 😛 Once again, thank you for your time given on my visit Auntie, you're the best and I respectfully love you 😙😙 Warm regards Smiling SG :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
First visit in here ,hmmmm lovely and relaxing ,but why are you fonderling those cuffs ,after deadlocking the door ,no need ,I'm not going anywhere in a hurry ,hence the reason for my drop in ,Annie I tried a new squeezey pushy outy hurty type machine at the gym with my son last night ,it was easy at first like they all are ,I got this ,I said ,hahaha ,showing off ,,TODAY I CANT WALK ,without nearly crying and laughing ,what should I do ,my groin hates me ,and I fear it's going to say fuck you ,no fun behind the curtains in the peep show this year ,save your 2 dollar coins Please help auntie Annie - Posted from rhpmobile
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
Also fuck ,who knew those pissey calf raises could hurt so much ,fuck it ,i mays well stay with chicken legs ,grrrr - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
How lovely for you to pop in.....but where's your lovely other half....? Hobble over to the couch. You obviously need to release those strained muscles. You look like you been taking cock all night. So perhaps that might help. A bit of the hair? I see you won the sexpo comp. Perhaps one of the lovely ladies there could show you the delightful function of a strapon. The benefits go right through you. The sphincter muscle is connecte to the hamstring in a convoluted sort of way. Let me give you a little release there. Drop your pants ......Love the way you got on all fours. So natural. Old hand at this i think. Yes you are tense. That was just my finger. Dont be afraid. Yeah a little scream helps. You should bring Mrs Boobs next time. I could show her how to sort you out good and proper. Enjoy sexpo you too. Maybe you may find a his version of Mr Buzzy for some self treatment. Must dash. Sydney awaits for the meet and greet. Annie xxx
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
Damn auntie Annie, just realised my stomachs muscle are sore as well ,when I laughed out loud , You know That other lovely half Mrs b ,isn't an Internetter,,she's quietly sitting at home waiting for that call to go to dinner and be ravaged by that sexy women ,that she loves and scares her ,you know the one ,lmao Now as for my ass muscle ,I did just feel it tighten up incredibly, as I read through your diagnosis,it just got tighter and tighter ,already feel much better ,thank you ,miracles happen ,lol,until tonight when we got that awful gym again .but I have to do what I have to do , Have a great and safe trip ,enjoy the hell out of it ,and I hope you can't walk straight for a week Mr b Ps you know I only got on fours so quick ,cos you ask me to pick up the newspaper you threw on the ground for some reason ,silly me ,should have realised when you said drop you pants first DUH!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Blonde rocket woman.......She'd be good for you too, rocks a lovely purple strapon but guess Mrs Boobs may well find out one day about that.......
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RHP User
9 years ago
Dear Auntie Annie, This is my first time on the couch so please be gently with me. I haven't seen you around for a bit and have missed you...thought it was time I paid you a visit xx I have recently looked at a few profiles on a vanilla dating site and the men that I have viewed have stressed that their ideal partner "must have a sense of humour". I was on a date recently and got told that I don't have a sense of humour because I didn't laugh at his racist jokes. So my question, is "good sense of humour" code for "you must find me funny and laugh at all my jokes no matter what"? Looking forward to your take on this xx
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VillainNVixen
9 years ago
Dear Auntie Annie. I think i am in need of some therapy but i have an important dilema. I dont own a pair of Globes, only DC shoes. Is this suitable therapy attire? Btw do you hold group sessions ;p
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'PhoenixGirl' Dear Auntie Annie, This is my first time on the couch so please be gently with me. I haven't seen you around for a bit and have missed you...thought it was time I paid you a visit xx I have recently looked at a few profiles on a vanilla dating site and the men that I have viewed have stressed that their ideal partner "must have a sense of humour". I was on a date recently and got told that I don't have a sense of humour because I didn't laugh at his racist jokes. So my question, is "good sense of humour" code for "you must find me funny and laugh at all my jokes no matter what"? Looking forward to your take on this xx Auntie shuffles to the front door with the zimmerframe, thinking she heard a once familiar sound but forgotten what it was. Oh Hello Dear....... Been so long since I had a visitor. And gee........2. They are banking up! Come in Ms Phoenix. Been a while since I've seen you around these parts.Grab the couch but give the cat a kick off first.White wine if my memory serves me. Pinot Gris? And some shots later!Make yourself comfy. Now looking at your notes here.A sense of humour. Yes I remember what that is.And vanilla site. Those men.....mmmmm.Simple answer. Because they are all clowns over there. They need laughter.Thing is, most laugh at them but they don't realise.You see, the good men are over here.Yes I know. There are clowns everywhere but more good men here.Yes, I get those messages here too, obviously written by various types of clowns.Sounds like you dated a Krusty clown. Particularly narcissistic those ones.Clowns come here but don't last long and they shuffle over to the vanilla sites pretty quick because we don't give them air time. They just post a newbie not having much luck thread and then they're off thinking if they can't get a quick fuck here they may as well just go and have a laugh and a few coffees and dinners and movies get married and get laughed at forever more.But remember there are a few here. They come in a few guises so dont be fooled. As you now know, they will have "must have GSOH" in their profile. Steer clear Phoenix.Be warned.Hows that wine going?Another? Here, I'll grab the bottle and join you over there so move up....... I've got a few jokes I want to share.Good luck girl.Stick with it over here. Annie xxxx
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RHP User
9 years ago
You are so right! Excuse the gushing, the wine (Pinot Gris - you know me so well) and shots have loosened my tongue. Your jokes were hilarious! I must have a GSOH after all Yes I will give the men here another go. There are surely some good ones lurking around somewhere. Forever grateful.... xxxxxx
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'keentoflirt' Dear Auntie Annie. I think i am in need of some therapy but i have an important dilema. I dont own a pair of Globes, only DC shoes. Is this suitable therapy attire? Btw do you hold group sessions ;p Hi Keen,Welcome and come in.(glances and looks at shoes, small eye roll...)Jump on the couch, maybe slip your pants off...err I mean shoes.Nice shoes though, lots of school kids are wearing them.Go well with a nice pair of slacks........oh that's right they call them chinos these days. Showing my age.I'll grab some beer to wet the whistle and we can chat about therapy.Although I can see some issues......(looks at shoes again...)Now the thing about the group therapy Keen.I'm thinking the only group session I indulge in is Saints and Sinners.Are you a Saint or a Sinner?Perhaps we need to explore further.........Nice bod........mmmmm Come back soon when you decide what your therapy should be about. I'm good but don't read minds Good luckAnnie XXx
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VillainNVixen
9 years ago
Dont worry about the slip of the tongue, i am happy to remove my pants as well as shoes. They are too restrictive and i prefer being without them. Hang on though, i thought this was therapy, not a physical. Why do i need to bend over and cough? ... thanks for the prostate exam though. Good to know it is functioning. So, saint or sinner. Not sure, i can be both at times. Is that avoiding the question? Anyhow, im a bit down. Ive been talking to some local couples. Some hot and heavy messages were exchanged, meets mentioned, then silence. Is it just me? Im feeling slightly inadequate. Is this normal and do i need to just get over it?
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'keentoflirt' Dont worry about the slip of the tongue, i am happy to remove my pants as well as shoes. They are too restrictive and i prefer being without them. Hang on though, i thought this was therapy, not a physical. Why do i need to bend over and cough? ... thanks for the prostate exam though. Good to know it is functioning. So, saint or sinner. Not sure, i can be both at times. Is that avoiding the question? Anyhow, im a bit down. Ive been talking to some local couples. Some hot and heavy messages were exchanged, meets mentioned, then silence. Is it just me? Im feeling slightly inadequate. Is this normal and do i need to just get over it? Sorry Keen, forgot you were sitting there quietly in the corner.Come in. You know the drill.The meets that you seek are one of the hardest on here.Excluding the unicorn of course if you are a couple. And there lies the common denominator.Couples.........They are difficult beasts to tame. Twice the number of minds to deal with.The female approaches enthusiastically but the male senses the male may be too hot and puts the handbrake on. The male gets all glowing about the prospective female that wants to play. The female partner whispers that they could do better. (someone not so gorgeous).And so it goes on. You need to tick both boxes, be available just at the precise moment that both are horny and their kids are away for the night on a sleepover. No menstrual cycle in sight. And they need to be a real couple of course and not a lonely male wanting to fuck with your mind.Good luck there Keen.Perhaps reset your target. Maybe a nice leggy brunette Tv............. All the best Annie xx
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On_Safari
9 years ago
It's like 1am in the morning and a couple have messaged me "Are you busy?" ~ 🤔 Like seriously how should I reply? ~ Befuddled
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RHP User
9 years ago
Your wisdom is amazing and spellbinding - are you budda ? You mentioned the unicorn. From reading your responses to peoples issues it is obvious to me that you know where this magnificent beast is. It may well be the requirement of highly enlightened individuals like yourself that there are rules and you cannot share the whereabouts of the unicorn - this i do not know. All I ask Dear Annie - Is the unicorn ever within reach of us mere mortals? Thanks - true unicorn believer
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari' It's like 1am in the morning and a couple have messaged me "Are you busy?" ~ 🤔 Like seriously how should I reply? ~ Befuddled A quick reply for you , for the answer is easyMerely tap out a replySay "Yes. I'll come right over. Your address?"Guarantee you'll never hear from him again. His laptop closed and him hiding under his bed quickly deleting before his wife comes home. Or perhaps she is home, slightly deflated in the wardrobe with a small puncture. HugsAnnie xxxx
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On_Safari
9 years ago
😂😂😂😂😂😂
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madotara69
9 years ago
Oh Annie, not having a whinge, not a rant, nor complaining or anything undue... Just an overwhelming desire to tell of a truly wonderful, delectable, glowing spunk of womanly woman, hot does no justice... no, pure delight and so sexy mmmmmmmh, we fantasised for the pleasures she could have enthralled upon us, had her way, milked us dry, red raw and tender, a writhing mess of sexual exhaustion, out of this world and bedazzled in euphorically altered state of mind, spent and complete. Just for the chances, wow Annie We sent her a message around 1am this morning asking if she was busy, silly sure, but in the heat of the moment, lust and fizzing at the bung.... these things happen...oh if she only knew how moorish, an aperitif, the angel of our most adventurous fantasies we have ever played out, and in complete bliss for the thoughts of it all..hmmmmm Anyhow....
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Oh Annie, not having a whinge, not a rant, nor complaining or anything undue... Just an overwhelming desire to tell of a truly wonderful, delectable, glowing spunk of womanly woman, hot does no justice... no, pure delight and so sexy mmmmmmmh, we fantasised for the pleasures she could have enthralled upon us, had her way, milked us dry, red raw and tender, a writhing mess of sexual exhaustion, out of this world and bedazzled in euphorically altered state of mind, spent and complete. Just for the chances, wow Annie We sent her a message around 1am this morning asking if she was busy, silly sure, but in the heat of the moment, lust and fizzing at the bung.... these things happen...oh if she only knew how moorish, an aperitif, the angel of our most adventurous fantasies we have ever played out, and in complete bliss for the thoughts of it all..hmmmmm Anyhow.... Checked my inbox but nothing there....... I'll keep an eye out in case it got caught up in the RHP server. What time shall I come over? Annie xxxx
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Be with you shortly..........Nothing for months and then.............
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' Be with you shortly..........Nothing for months and then............. ......... it never rains but it pours.
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Quoting 'happy_fun' Your wisdom is amazing and spellbinding - are you budda ? You mentioned the unicorn. From reading your responses to peoples issues it is obvious to me that you know where this magnificent beast is. It may well be the requirement of highly enlightened individuals like yourself that there are rules and you cannot share the whereabouts of the unicorn - this i do not know. All I ask Dear Annie - Is the unicorn ever within reach of us mere mortals? Thanks - true unicorn believer Thankyou for waiting.Come in and spread yourself on the couch.Err. Just relaxing is fine. Im not going to mount you........yet.We will have a 2013 shiraz l think. Reward for waiting.Now. Unicorns.A rare breed depending on who you speak too.But they are only rare because of the company they keep. They partner with couples. Now that's gonna fuck your day right there. The couples have made them nearly extinct. There is a tendency for the couple to copulate with the unicorn. If all parties agree, there us a seduction to behold. Much groaning and moaning. Some squirting may be observed by those lucky enough to observe the ritual of 2 females performing in front of the frothing male. The dominance of the male come through and he may instigate more squirting before planting his seed into the unicorn. All fascinating to see.But what happens next is what has endangered the unicorn. The oartnered female relaxes and sedately sleeps. The unicorn leaves to deturn to her tribe. The prancing male is restless. He leaves his nest and pursues the so female, anxious for a 1 on 1 whilst his partner is in slumber. The unicorn flees. Bewildered by the unwanted attention. She is never seen again...... I am not buddha. I am a trans unicorn. I assume the role of unicorn to fill the gaps. I am unicorn next week. I have mated with a unicorn. A golden unicorn. I shall never go back as it is a unique and draining experience. But i can and will take over the role to help our species. Go forth and try and grab a glimpse of a unicorn. But stay clear. It is not for the faint of heart. Now hows that drink?You can spread now......... Good luck but be careful. Few survive what you seek. I did. Annie xxx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Dear Annie, Recently I've been too busy to fuck, too shagged to shag. And after a few months away, I now return to find I'm locked out of that secret little bar down the bottom of the forums. As a result I'm reduced to contacting you here, in private, to ask what is a young man to do with one's self now when he needs a drink and some quiet company?
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RHP User
9 years ago
You and her will have to find a quiet bar together. She has cracked the shits about the IP situation
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RHP User
9 years ago
I guess I'll just have to wait here quietly until she is back on her feet again to have our little consultation.
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Thanks for waiting. Sorry for the delay. Come on in and pop yourself up beside me. Champagne is the order of the day to celebrate my posting rights back to normal And in anticipation of restoring yours. If we fail, then if we have enough bubbles now, you won't much care until morning........ The only viable option is to write to customer service and in your nicest voice, or in this case your best finger, rub one out to the mods stating your situation. I'm sure Rebecca or Melanie will see your predicament and jump aboardb and fix you up. Hot photo you have up Mr Playful....... Gets the mind all warm and fuzzy. More champagne? Or shall we find that quiet bar that was suggested my Nexomian. And chat about all things you? Perhaps I can run some oil into that lovely chest of yours........ Good luck with your reinstatement. Looking forward to another session in the recovery bar. Or my bedroom.....Gawd did l just say that..... Annie xxx
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
Haven't got time to stop in for a full consult today , so just sticking my head in the door and screaming Fucken tequila ,!!!lmao , - Posted from rhpmobile
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
Haven't got time to stop in for a full consult today , so just sticking my head in the door and screaming Fucken tequila ,!!!lmao , - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
My professional stance is that the consumption of alcohol should always be in moderation. Excess affects people in various ways and across all genders. Small serves are highly recommended especially when operating machinery and devices. Come back soon for a full on appointment Good luck Annie xx
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