T64
Ask Auntie..............
May 31 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
My good lady wife will cum wherever, or on whomever, she so pleases ;) In fact, I could think of nothing finer than to serve as a footstool for the both of you as you watch the game and debate the finest muscle groups of the various codes. I should warn you, she is an arm girl! She has been known to fondle strange mens guns without waiting for an invite! - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
She can fondle my guns, I'll fondle her. You can fetch drinks.......Everyones happy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Win win win ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
seems my cock is way to big for my undies, and the darn thing will not stop throbbing. Any suggestions?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'SensualAries' seems my cock is way to big for my undies, and the darn thing will not stop throbbing. Any suggestions? an ice pack should take the swelling out
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'SensualAries' seems my cock is way to big for my undies, and the darn thing will not stop throbbing. Any suggestions? Wondered when you might join me. (Pulls white coat on).Come and sit on the couch.No, leave your pants on........for the moment.Interesting problem.Some people would read that and take the obvious route. Excuse my pun SA.But being the self taught sex therapist that I am, your problem is a deep multi faceted condundrum.Why the smirk Sensual?Yes I could give you a quick blowie and you'd be on your way feeling a little lighter in the sack.But that would be covering the problem with a quick human response.Bit like S's post above. It doesn't address the real reason you come here seeking solutions. You feel that your cock is too big for your undies?No stop...... I don't need to see it.You see the problem is in your perception.You think it's too big? Most men think they are too small. Some would be right.......It's all to do with adequacy. Do you have that moment when intimacy comes?When his or her hand goes down there? I'm not here to judge your sexual alignment here Sensual........You want to feel proud of your cock and therefore talk yourself up to yourself. You want to avoid the disappointed look on your partners face when they come face to face with it so you reason with yourself that it's big. Positive thinking.You see I have the same issue in that I think my cock is too big for my undies. But its true. Have you worn women's undies?Not really designed for housing a cock in there.......So it sort of squishes out the sides. A ball hanging out. But I put up with it.So I think you are ok in thinking that its too big for your undies. Keep going down that path, no harm can come of it. Perhaps a larger size if it continues to worry you. No larger sized undies is what I mean SA. Now the throbbing bit. That's more of a worry.I think it throbs because it gets used to all the self loving you do.Yes, I noticed your wanking post. It's because you may be turning into a serial wanker. You know. You have one. And it feels so good that maybe you'll have another a short time later. So your life is revolving around wanking at the moment. It can become a problem if you dont reign it in. And it may be contributing to the too big for your undies thing. Perhaps the fantasy that you have a huge cock as you masturbate?Could be all related Sensual. My solution to this is to relax. Perhaps a drought in the partner area? By all means have a wank. But try and stop at 3 a day.Wondering if your thread is to get ideas on future wanks in odd places?Let's lay off the porn for a while and see if it settles?And for some temporary relief? Just unzip and I will see what I can do............Mmmmmm. Not a bad size Sensual. But lets not get ahead of yourself. Wouldn't say it's too big......... Good luck SAAnnie xx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' Quoting 'SensualAries' seems my cock is way to big for my undies, and the darn thing will not stop throbbing. Any suggestions? an ice pack should take the swelling out I'll do the therapy advice here........... When are you coming in to lay on the couch?Noticed a few of your posts of late. I can help you I think......I'll be expecting you soon..... Annie xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Is it ok to have sex without a condom? Much love ungloved, Uni xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
No need to reply unless you want to of course!
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madotara69
10 years ago
Oh c'mon now, let's be serious. Annie ???? I have a tattoo on my old feller, for years it has been bothering me, you see it kind of looks like Wendy a lot of the time, I got it for free on a holiday and it actually says "Welcome to New Zealand and have a nice day" erect of course. I am contemplating having it coloured over and something like "Tara I will love you forever" Can you suggest a book or something to pass the time while in the chair.
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madotara69
10 years ago
Annie, the problem... it's i'm just tired of explaining it too the fellows when all lined up at the urinal, they look over and repeatedly ask "Are you in love with Wendy too".
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RHP User
10 years ago
im a lad who is alone and would request the hand of a maiden or couple for a web chat to assist in the filling of a massive desire that can not be filled by only one man and two hands. is there any specific forum i could be directed to in order to have a mutual and hopefully regular audience with wich a mans desire to feel wanted and his desire of gratification may be combined into a release of simultanious endorfins where everyone is happy to just see and show off their beautiful bodies without fear or guilt? thanks doll face i appreciate any form of direction you could advise, even so far as to humor you with further detail, or what ever is required to remedy this dire situation if you could lend a hand id be forever grateful
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' No need to reply unless you want to of course! My thread reduced to that eh? No question to hard for auntie.May need a cup of tea and a lie down first though........
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' Is it ok to have sex without a condom? Much love ungloved, Uni xx Come in Uni.Sprawl yourself out on the leather.That's it......Gee, your dress is short. mmmmm.(Composes self)Well Uni, you have thrown a controversial problem my way. Given the recent run of threads and the extent of the arguments regarding this very subject.And we know both sides of it, although you could say there are more than 2 sides.Not clear cut but there are more guys willing to go bareback than the ladies.Like washing your foot with a sock on, the guys say.And with the higher risk they face, the ladies say if its not on, it's not on. True, the feeling is different with it on for both sides but more so for the poor chaps.And whats with the situation that the guy deflates when they put one on?Deflation for both sides really. You getting down for the big penetration moment, slip on the condom and Pffftt.......You'd think that the excitement level might survive a moments distraction of a latex thingy being rolled on. Talk about being on the edge. Take 2.....Take it off, back to the oral for a while, get it nice and hard and Pffttt.... FFS.But there are positives. Given that the union may have survived the traumatic act of putting on the glove and penetration actually occurs, the advantage of less feeling, the guy might go and go and go and go and go. When ya gonna cum? she cries. Nah, it not gonna happen today.......or tonight. So what to do?Do you trust your judgement?Where have they been?A gangbang or ten?An STI test? Its a fortnight old. They may have done a footy team, or a netball team over the last weekend.They seem nice enough, yeah?Surely he can be trusted? Not as though the guys in here get much action.........so they say.He may have been down the gay sauna last night getting pumped by Big Bruce or pumping Big Bruce. Big Bruce may have had a festering sore on his arse.........She may have had a bareback gangy with half a dozen guys 2 days ago. Filled to overflowing.... Judgment I say. Make a call the best you can. Go on your gut feeling. Its a personal choice between 2 people.Life is full of risks. You could get hit by a tram or bus and you most likely wont survive that. You get an STI so you may have to get some pills. Odds of HIV is slim. Herpes well...... it aint going to kill you.People are scared of sharks in the water and they wont venture out for that reason. Scared of the minute possibility of being eaten when reality is that they have thousand times more chance of being killed in a car accident and a hundred more chances of being murdered. It's all relative isn't it?People jump out of planes for thrills. People have unprotected sex for pleasure.Your call.Your partners call.Make the choice.It's yours, no one else's. And when you both make the choice, don't let anyone shame you if you go ungloved. Gee Uni, you look very sexy laying there.......Did you realize you forgot to put undies on this morning?Oh Uni..........I don't have any condoms with me...Shall we.....well...you know.....go bareback? good luck UnicornAnnie xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
You rule.
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RHP User
10 years ago
My Monday morning "brass monkey" special question is....how much did you win? ;) Of course I'm assuming it was a cash bet, and not one that paid out in "special" services! MrM - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
fool me twice shame on meDear Annie,A long time ago on another site I was seeing a divorcee, when a 45 caliber married woman came along and we started chatting. I didn't pay Mrs 45 much attention but did keep chatting online, anyway she suggested getting a hotel room and then told me I was too old when I said yes. I blocked her and forgot about her until one night here on RHP I got a message from her, we started chatting again and ended up meeting in town. We didn't hit it off for various reasons and again she told me I was too old for her, shame on me for thinking with my little head...I think she's a bitch. I know I'm allowed to think that but why Dear Auntie am I not allowed to say that? shame, Shame, SHAME yours etcDerryn
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' Is it ok to have sex without a condom? Much love ungloved, Uni xx Lol. stirrer... had a good laugh at my desk... cheeky woman....
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Oh c'mon now, let's be serious. Annie ???? I have a tattoo on my old feller, for years it has been bothering me, you see it kind of looks like Wendy a lot of the time, I got it for free on a holiday and it actually says "Welcome to New Zealand and have a nice day" erect of course. I am contemplating having it coloured over and something like "Tara I will love you forever" Can you suggest a book or something to pass the time while in the chair. Apparently was always getting laughed at for having "Shorty" tattooed on his old feller. (American gut he was). Apparently when fully extended it said....... "Shorty's Hamburger Bar Long Beach California United States of America"
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you for that eloquent response. sorry no bareback, we just met ffs! I would however not decline some mutual oral..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
10 years ago
Hi auntie Annie, please help! I'm thinking of growing my full bush back not an out of control bush just a nicely manicured one. Will men accept this or will I be doomed never to receive oral again?
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
No one wanted to know me for 2 weeks. Now a sudden rush? Take a number whilst i put some pants on......
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RHP User
10 years ago
Are optional ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Whateverway' When are you coming in to lay on the couch?Noticed a few of your posts of late. I can help you I think......I'll be expecting you soon..... Annie xx Dear Annie, what did you notice, and what do you think you can help me with? I went to a psychologist once, she didn't have a couch, only a chair - do you think she was a fake?S
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Oh c'mon now, let's be serious. Annie ???? I have a tattoo on my old feller, for years it has been bothering me, you see it kind of looks like Wendy a lot of the time, I got it for free on a holiday and it actually says "Welcome to New Zealand and have a nice day" erect of course. I am contemplating having it coloured over and something like "Tara I will love you forever" Can you suggest a book or something to pass the time while in the chair. Welcome back Mado. I'd suggest Moby Dick for a read. Why? Because I presume after the work, your dick will look like a whale with the swelling. or the old classic Percy. Where the guy loses his cock in an accident and spends his time looking for the real owner and where it's been. Why? After all that work, it wont feel like your own dick for a long time. Miust say, all the Wendy's about the place would be pleased with the current presentation? You know any Wendy's? I know one. She's hot. Could I suggest a solution? Color your dick in all black. then white writing with the Tara bit on it. Sick of it, then just black out and start again. A veritable chalkboard. Expanding one at that. Could be hit down the school Mado. Imagine Tara's delight every time you pull out BLACKY! Sure there might be a bit of pain involved. Do you think? But then you have those excellent reads that I have suggested. You wont feel a thing. Maybe your could get your balls colored in. Perhaps the Aborginal colors. Show your Australian tribute thinking. One yellow, one red, big black cock. Very Aussie. When's Tara coming in? Good luck Mado Annie
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'hardnthick78' im a lad who is alone and would request the hand of a maiden or couple for a web chat to assist in the filling of a massive desire that can not be filled by only one man and two hands. is there any specific forum i could be directed to in order to have a mutual and hopefully regular audience with wich a mans desire to feel wanted and his desire of gratification may be combined into a release of simultanious endorfins where everyone is happy to just see and show off their beautiful bodies without fear or guilt? thanks doll face i appreciate any form of direction you could advise, even so far as to humor you with further detail, or what ever is required to remedy this dire situation if you could lend a hand id be forever grateful Come in and make yourself at home.... On the couch there and relax............. Must say I love your post. Never been called Doll face before. Especially since you haven't seen it....... Maybe an old doll. But as you say, let's see if we can remedy this situation. Surely there is a lady or couple who would swoon over such a lovely cock? Me, personally I'd be tempted to give it some CPR. Such a lovely purple color it looks like it could take out the back of my throat when it came to the vinegar stroke. Been a while? Great shape too. Pity I don't have any lube here........ Well, you have taken a massive step in fulfilling those desire, my man. This column is read far and wide and can imagine the ladies tapping a message out right now. Well your profile reads okay..........perhaps a few tweaks and refinement. "Mother fucking monster" brings a little tenseness around the back of the head but whatever floats your boat or rather their boat I should say. Perhaps study the forum tips in refining that profile. But you are an attractive man. Karratha is probably not the best spot for male-female equality in the numbering area so that's against you. Best way is to fly into Perth. Attend to a meet and greet and see what happens. Plenty of lovely couple and ladies in that part of the world. Well, unzip and I will lend you that hand my friend. Perhaps I can loan you a set of lips for a few moments. Shame about that lube eh! Sit back and relax. Close the eyes and I can be anyone you want............. Good luck my man You any relation to ThickHard? Brother?Brissy Bangers? No? Oh well...... Annie XX
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsM' My Monday morning "brass monkey" special question is....how much did you win? ;) Of course I'm assuming it was a cash bet, and not one that paid out in "special" services! MrM - Posted from rhpmobile Not talking footy M My bet was with 4 goals in. Saints lost by only 3 goals or thereabouts. So I'm a loser............ enough said. Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'Jack_Denials' fool me twice shame on meDear Annie,A long time ago on another site I was seeing a divorcee, when a 45 caliber married woman came along and we started chatting. I didn't pay Mrs 45 much attention but did keep chatting online, anyway she suggested getting a hotel room and then told me I was too old when I said yes. I blocked her and forgot about her until one night here on RHP I got a message from her, we started chatting again and ended up meeting in town. We didn't hit it off for various reasons and again she told me I was too old for her, shame on me for thinking with my little head...I think she's a bitch. I know I'm allowed to think that but why Dear Auntie am I not allowed to say that? shame, Shame, SHAME yours etcDerryn Come in and sit for a moment. there is something wrong in there yeah? For you to have to ask the question? What you just wrote? It's fine to think it perhaps. Actually its OK to think anything you like. But when you move your lips and it becomes public, that when you are in a little trouble. Allow me to digest. Imagine you are wooing a 77 year old woman. You are keen but after a bit of chat and coffee and lunch, you declare "You are too old for me" She calls you a bastard in a public forum for the world to see. Would you be a little perturbed? Perhaps a litte pissed off? Perhaps a lot pissed off? Well no different in your case. There is no room for movement on this one Jack. We are in a public domain. You can call her a bitch if you want. But expect to ruffle a few feathers. I would expect you to take this on board. Become the sensitive new age guy you need to be in here to woo the ladies. They don't have to take crap. They can pick and choose here. And behavior like what you have shown wont do you any favors. Play the game Jack. Or it's checkmate....... Good luck and behave Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Saving your lovely self for tomorrow
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RHP User
10 years ago
I visit the forums quite regularly. Oh ok, a lot. So much in fact that other posters are now starting to suspect I have no life. I can't have that, as one of the forum royalty I have a reputation to uphold! So without actually being here less often, how can I convince everyone that in between posts I'm swinging from chandeliers and having wild monkey sex with every hole filled? Love, Imnotanaddict.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' Hi auntie Annie, please help! I'm thinking of growing my full bush back not an out of control bush just a nicely manicured one. Will men accept this or will I be doomed never to receive oral again? Come in missHave a glass of pink champagne to celebrate.Celebrate you going full circle in your bush presentation.I do hear its coming back in.Like every other fashion seems to go around in circles.We need huge wardrobes just in case...... As a part time male, I see nothing wrong with a nice carpeted landing strip.But I did grow up with the full bushes of the world, both male and female so I have experienced it all in that field (cuse the pun).I sport hair there. Manicured with the shaven balls bit. Middle of the road for me. Easy maintenance garden I say. But what of the younger generation though. They have been brought up in the bare world of nicely presented genitals.They are the ones that may be taken back a bit when actually facing hair there.Not a problem for you unless you intend on playing with the 20's and early 30's. But of course as long as its manicured to a short pile and not a shag pile.Nothing worse than a long dental floss moment when munching the carpet.There are a few that do not approve of the hairless look. The reference to children but I don't subscribe to their view.You can't please everyone.Thought about a lovely manicured heart shape?Bit of a 70's look. Retro. So I don't see a problem with your desire. Go for it Miss BWhile you are here, can I have a peek?MMMMM. I like what you've done so far.Nice crotch-less undies there too. Good luck Miss BLet me know how it goes Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' Quoting 'Whateverway' When are you coming in to lay on the couch?Noticed a few of your posts of late. I can help you I think......I'll be expecting you soon..... Annie xx Dear Annie, what did you notice, and what do you think you can help me with? I went to a psychologist once, she didn't have a couch, only a chair - do you think she was a fake?S Come in Loose.If it makes you more comfortabe, use the chair.Yes, sorry about the stain on the couch.Someone squirted all over it yesterday. Still fresh.Oh and the red wine stain on the carpet. Yes it was a rocky afternoon.I'm sure it'll all come out. And yes I use a couch for my sex therapy activities.All the shrinks I've seen use chairs so the one you saw was a real one in all probablility.Just that I'm more hands on........So you are normal like the rest of us. Nothing wrong with a bit of therapy.And you are wondering why or how I can assist you?Well forgive me for suggesting it in the first place but have noticed the macho side of your posts of late.Doesn't go unnoticed in here amongst the ladies.Nothing wrong with that I may add.But also nothing wrong with being a little more sensitive in the area.No need to butt heads in here with the opposite sex when in fact they are the ones you are trying to entice into a fucking session. See my point?There is a few males in here with that approach. They end up very popular with the girls. Presume they go all right but also could be like the gay male friend?Yes, you can be too sensitive so need to find the right angles.But perhaps you go alright with your hard and fast approach?Only you know so if it works then full speed ahead.If not, well ease up on the throttle and cruise into a few ports perhaps........ So thanks for coming in.I'll be watching your posts with interest in the coming weeks....... Good Luck Annie xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
I can't think of a question to ask, what can I do? Mrm - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I visit the forums quite regularly. Oh ok, a lot. So much in fact that other posters are now starting to suspect I have no life. I can't have that, as one of the forum royalty I have a reputation to uphold! So without actually being here less often, how can I convince everyone that in between posts I'm swinging from chandeliers and having wild monkey sex with every hole filled? Love, Imnotanaddict. Come on in your majesty (bows)Sit in my chair if you wish, sit wherever you like.Lovely to have you back.Glass of Moet?Been researching your problem and have a tailored solution for not just you but a few of us who are borderline in having a life as well.My solution?Google siliconedreams..........Its a manufacturer that makes realistic silicone sex dolls.Meander, what's with the smirk?Wait till you hear my plan.....And what's more is that we can assist our poor male folk who cant get a fuck in here. My plan you ask disbelievingly?Well you order a set of these fantastic dolls.You order them custom to your requirements. Height, weight, same tits as yourself. Which are very nice by the way.......You also supply a photo of who you want the doll to look like. You can have movie stars, porn stars or in this case, you.Ahhh....now i see some interest in your eyes...When a guy complains about not getting any, we sell him a doll with your face on it. The proviso is that they must drive with the doll in the front passenger seat. They are so human like with the skin and they can sit, or whatever position you like.In no time at all, we will have these losers, errr I mean men covering all parts of the city with you in the front seat. Anyone that knows you will see you out and about with so many men that they will think "Gee she gets around so much. Don't how she does it. If only I could be like her and have her life...."And when the guys are not driving around, they take it inside and have their way with it.Hey the other positive is that they can use the transit lanes of the freeway where you need at least one passenger to use it.Everyone's a winner.The other ones here who haven't got a life can do the same. Can I mention names, Me, Lily.........oh I can't mention names......Ok....I wont then. But you get the picture yeah? Have a think about it.Speaking of tits...err I mean breasts, any chance of seeing that right one in real life. You know the one in your profile piccy with the shower water on it.........mmmmmm. Yes nice..........Can I have a feel you think? OK. Have a think. Let me know your highness.Mmmmm. I just touched royalty. Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
We could dicuss your stalking tendencies. .......... just joking.........
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RHP User
10 years ago
Between stalker and enthusiastic follower :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
10 years ago
Yes, yes, yes, no, yes, yes no yes, no yes We tried blackboard paint and chalk, turned out more useful as a scoring board for darts Thought Jonatan Livingston Seagull, would be too short a story There is a 'Fine line between pleasure and pain, you can do it once you can do it again' Do I know any Wendy's ? that hit the spot Annie Taken back a little over twenty years, I am having flash backs of sexy women walking the streets, at the beach, some friends, some crushes, fantasies and that invisible kind of scent that wafts in the air of a woman's presence, which I believe is that special thing women allure men's immediate attention (pun intended) and can only describe the feeling as a mysterious inner passion fizzing at the bung and beautiful, natures giftThe thing is.. I only have eyes for Tara eva since I first looked into them, I found that passion and have been gifted with it as long I care to remember. It's a special thing when everyone else in the whole wide world just disappears leaving just one.Sorry to all the Wendy's, they are all special and possess a wonderful gift, but I am madly in love with one truly beautiful and special woman, she is my best friend and a unique person, cool too. The amount of times Tara has accidentally knee'd me in the knackers when romping around so passionately playful under the covers, black and blue will do. Annnnd..... She reckons our Fijian playmate has a magnificent BLACKY Ya' know 'Ebony and Ivory, working together side by side in perfect harmony'... something like that and a bit of double penetration is a real whiz banger when it comes to passion. Oh and Tara's question is rather a simple one "Annie are you trying to get me out of my nighty while laying by a nice warm fire" xx ?
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Look, never minded the gathered nightie look so optional if it comes off. Gives a bit of purchase on the stroke when grabbing the gathered nightie in tight grip. Makes for a bit of authority when they cant wriggle out of position. Stop teasing me Mado.........
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' Hi auntie Annie, please help! I'm thinking of growing my full bush back not an out of control bush just a nicely manicured one. Will men accept this or will I be doomed never to receive oral again? I'm not a big fan of the pre-pubescent look, so you can be pretty much as selective as ever For give me Annie for replying to clients of yours.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Whateverway'Speaking of tits...err I mean breasts, any chance of seeing that right one in real life. You know the one in your profile piccy with the shower water on it.........mmmmmm. Yes nice..........Can I have a feel you think? Totes. You and me in the ladies room. p.s. If you like the right one, you should see the left.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Dear Annie,I have just an article in the Weekend Australian about transgender children. Have you read it?I thought it was sensitively written and informative. What do you think? If you haven't read it yet I'm guessing you will get a copy to read.My daughter has been saying for some time now that transgender issues are the next frontier, so to speak, for the battle for public acceptance.
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RHP User
10 years ago
But id like to vote for either no bush, or very well manicured one, sorry Auntie, :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Not aware of the article. Not a reader of that paper. If you want me to answer or get my thoughts you will have to quote it. Annie xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
But I am loving the smart and witty style of the responses....thanks for cheering up an otherwise miserable day for me Auntie Annie :)
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Thankyou. If i can lighten some peoples day with my dribbles, it will always be worth it. Annie xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
It really does make the days better :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
10 years ago
My bush is full and blonde (figured I'd grow it out since I've been bald over 25yrs) totes at loggerheads with my red hair.....should I dye the rug to match the drapes? Thanks in advance, a Ranga
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On_Safari
10 years ago
I know it's personal preference but I've found guys still want to munch on it in answer to the above. Hair conditioner softens pubes as well and it was recently noted and commented on favourably by the tasters. Just sayin'.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Not a question but a comment...There should be no such word in the dictionary as normal..as the yummy Professor Cox said last night,every tiny patch of us,every tiny patch of our environment is different...celebrate difference,diss the normal xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Whateverway' Not aware of the article. Not a reader of that paper. If you want me to answer or get my thoughts you will have to quote it. Annie xx I'm way too lazy a typist to quote it. It's about three pages of text and probably doesn't say anything the You don't know already. It's probably of more interest to us vanilla types, who might benefit from a raising of awareness about these issues. I get the impression that it has always been this way and that in percentage terms not much has changed, but with the increase in the overall population comes a corresponding numerical increase in the incidence of these normal (Yes Freya, the N word) variations among us. Anybody who is curious could search; Making the switch. By Kate Legge Or just visit the local library and see The Weekend Australian magazine July 18-19
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari' My bush is full and blonde (figured I'd grow it out since I've been bald over 25yrs) totes at loggerheads with my red hair.....should I dye the rug to match the drapes? Thanks in advance, a Ranga I know it's personal preference but I've found guys still want to munch on it in answer to the above. Hair conditioner softens pubes as well and it was recently noted and commented on favourably by the tasters. Just sayin'. Come in Indy.Been a while since you have graced up with your presence.(Kisses Hugs)Lay down............no just relax for a bit.Haven't seen you much since Melbourne.And still very red I see.So you've joined the retro club with you bush.Seems to be the trend.You wont get any negatives from me. I was brought up on hairy muff and cock.Still really a novelty for me, the bare all look. Went there once myself but after my balls grew a new sack after my first wax down there, vowed not to go there again. But do like the feel of shaven one and manicured garden.Different color?Don't think the average guy in here will even notice. Certainly you wont get any negative comments up front. They'd be too focused on pussy to jeopardize a session by a wry comment. But then, we are talking males here. Anything can and usually does happen. Murphy's law as they say.And how often would a guy look upward when they are down there going the oral? Too focused on getting the lips and tongue into gear and them thinking " Wonder how long this will take before she comes and I can get me dick in" and then they go into hyper drive thinking faster is better and quicker to rush it over the line?So really, you have nothing to worry about.Never had the chance to see your bush last time we met.Not sure how many saw it, you were playing your cards very close to that magnificent chest of yours.And you use conditioner down there?Can I feel?Mmmmmm. nice. Velvety even. What brand you use?Geesus, are you wetting up?................Oh, I guess we can, I am a sex therapist you know.Just happen to buy some condoms this morning so........ Good luck Indy Annie xx
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On_Safari
10 years ago
Haha erm actually quite a few watch me while they're between my thighs (blushing) and the M&G's tend to be purely social for me Aunty. I tore one off once during the night at a M&G but ole mate went back downstairs and started fishing for his next victim at our table, generally goes against my usual discerning methods but I was horny!! Been kicking myself since. Nah I don't think the M&G's are a place to get my rocks off I just enjoy everyone being together and having a good time. Chocky Desire and I did have quite a few offers in Melbourne, surprisingly from the very sexy crowd that huddled closely in the dark corner all frocked and suited up nicely but we wandered off instead with a few others to see what trouble we could find elsewhere (broad smile) very friendly place Melbourne. Can't wait for Sydney's M&G and a trip to OSS via a hot pub/club in Pitt Street. Wish you were coming, it'll be a wonderful weekend. As for conditioner, any will do (winky face) xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have come to you with some very difficult questions. Questions I can't even begin to answer myself. 1) Why are babies born with no brain kept alive for days before their inevitable fate. And why do we insist on performing medical research on apes, whom are beings - and not babies born with no brain which subsequently means no feeling of pain or conciousness. 2) Are teenaged boys who have sex with adult women victims of sexual abuse? What if they don't think so? Are forcing trauma onto them? 3) What does it really mean to be "gay?" Are two men who have sex while in prison a gay couple, even if they don't consider themselves to be? What if same-sex behavior is considered a standard part of life, as in some tribes in Papua New Guinea and elsewhere? 4) An elephant has 5x our brain capacity, yet we are the ones building bridges. What makes humans so special?
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
.............think i need a bucket of quad shot expresso before i tackle this lot...... Leave it with me and ill get back to you later this morning. .......geesus.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Whateverway' .............think i need a bucket of quad shot expresso before i tackle this lot...... Leave it with me and ill get back to you later this morning. .......geesus. lol thnx annie. Gonna keep tangerinedream for a while.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'TangerineDream' I have come to you with some very difficult questions. Questions I can't even begin to answer myself. 1) Why are babies born with no brain kept alive for days before their inevitable fate. And why do we insist on performing medical research on apes, whom are beings - and not babies born with no brain which subsequently means no feeling of pain or conciousness. 2) Are teenaged boys who have sex with adult women victims of sexual abuse? What if they don't think so? Are forcing trauma onto them? 3) What does it really mean to be "gay?" Are two men who have sex while in prison a gay couple, even if they don't consider themselves to be? What if same-sex behavior is considered a standard part of life, as in some tribes in Papua New Guinea and elsewhere? 4) An elephant has 5x our brain capacity, yet we are the ones building bridges. What makes humans so special? Mr ? I wont quote your name because it would have changed by the time I finish my post.I think you've been in before.....?Not sure.But what a tangled bunch of questions you have.But no question too beyond Auntie.1. Are you suggesting saving the apes (which is a great cause) by substituting brain dead babies for research.Good lord not going to touch that question. Not even with your dick. But we do keep them alive for a period of time to confirm diagnosis and allow the grieving parents time to come to terms with it all. Civilised I think we call it. But yes, we need to save out ape cousins.Moving on very quickly from this one............ 2. Okay. Why are you highlighting teenage boys and adult women. Is it not the same as teenage girls with adult men?And do we have to go down the creepy path of both of those scenarios? I think that topic gets a fair run from people in here and I could ramble on a bit but keeping an eye on my laptop battery here mr tangerine. So moral of the storey is don't try and separate the two. It just doesn't wash with me. But yes you are right, society does impose the trauma sometimes. Sometimes our own intelligence works out that it is not right and we traumatise ourself. 3. Men having sex relations in prison? Marriage of convenience? I'm sure that if there was a women available that she would get a fair look in. Maybe call them bi-flexible? Flexible for each other and pretty sure they won't keeping their room mates photo up on the mantelpiece when they get out on parole. And the other part of your question. Same sex behaviour is fairly normal in my bedroom as in quite a few bedrooms around here. We don't have to go overseas for it.Your questions are forming a pattern....... 4. Elephants. Us. Easy answer my friend. Who is the most intelligent? God the elephants of course. What would you rather be doing? Building bridges or wandering around the forest or the savanah getting food and socialising with your elephant friends. They have it pretty good eh? Not much special about us really. Go to work most days and try to fuck each up or over. Elephants are very devoted to their families. Don't seem them going on benders and fucking the stray elephant down the road and hoping the missus doesn't find out.And besides, have you seen the way an elephant swings a fucking hammer? In summary Tangy, I have anlysed your questions and believe that you are are bordering on coming out of the closet and anouncing that you are gay. You have a teenage lover who is just out of youth detention and may have been having an affair with his cell buddy. But the thing holding you back is that fact that you want to have children at some stage but are fearful of it being born brain dead or looking like an ape. You also have a childhood fantasy of being an elephant trainer but instead embarked on a career as a carpenter. All things considered, a fairly normal person going about his business in RHP.Drink Tanger?Double bourbon might be in order by the look on your face. Yes I picked you didn't I?Bottoms up.Speaking of bottoms. I like your pants and the way your arse fits in them.Sit next to me................ Good luck whatever your name is by now...... Annie xx
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madotara69
10 years ago
The waiting room is just like a meet and greet :) You know we came to RHP looking for some adventure all tangled up in some intense euphoric heights of orgasmic passion of a third kind and options to further that. We found it here and had some wonderful moments. But realistically we could have found it anywhere. Thinking in twenty years, old and grey, reminiscing the collected memories, we will remember Annie as our RedHotPie experience.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Lololol. Great work. Brilliant. Brilliant. A+, here have a sticker.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Dear Anuty Annie , I know it's out of business hrs , The weekend is here , I just need your opinion on squirting? I had a play mate recently that made me squirt ( fact or fiction) that's the million dollar question? People on the forums have there own opinion, views on this subject....., I'm not a full time squirter some can make me some can't it's just the right spot and position that will drive me wild Anyway when the fucking was over I checked my white sheets no stain no yellow no wet patch to see , my ex husband was a bed wetter he would get pissed and always pissed the bed and the smell the stain would really make me go Ken Bruce !!!! Completely mad in the end when he had a big night he would sleep outside on the trampoline haha I even had a squirt on the orange couch no mark but the red wine I spilled on the carpet took me forever to get out .... Am I a squirter or is my imagination? Or have I just pissed myself ? Please your wise words or view on this matter would be really appreciated Sally xxxx - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'SEXYsally6969' Dear Anuty Annie , I know it's out of business hrs , The weekend is here , I just need your opinion on squirting? I had a play mate recently that made me squirt ( fact or fiction) that's the million dollar question? People on the forums have there own opinion, views on this subject....., I'm not a full time squirter some can make me some can't it's just the right spot and position that will drive me wild Anyway when the fucking was over I checked my white sheets no stain no yellow no wet patch to see , my ex husband was a bed wetter he would get pissed and always pissed the bed and the smell the stain would really make me go Ken Bruce !!!! Completely mad in the end when he had a big night he would sleep outside on the trampoline haha I even had a squirt on the orange couch no mark but the red wine I spilled on the carpet took me forever to get out .... Am I a squirter or is my imagination? Or have I just pissed myself ? Please your wise words or view on this matter would be really appreciated Sally xxxx - Posted from rhpmobile Come in sweets,Lay down and make yourself comfy.Shiraz for you if my memory serves me correctly.Here.........cheers Now are you trying to get me into trouble?I've been warned by the female fraternity in here about passing commentsregarding squirting and mutliple screaming orgasms. Subjects us mere males apparently know fuck all about.And here I am facing a squirt question..........oh dear.I'm new on the squirt scene.Until very recently had never experienced such outrageous events! But then I also experience my first female strappon so anything can happen out of the fuckit buckit when you least expect it.But having seen first hand what fornication can achieve, well must say, what I have I missed out on all these years? Perhaps it will challenge me each and every time to reach such dizzing heights of pleasuring my female companion. Never a dull moment in this old trannies life. Imagine, in my 50's and only just had my first squirter.But still, not keen to rouse up the female locals around here so will keep a very tight lid on it. But for you. Well, if no stains then surely it must have been a squirt and not a piss? Let's not go into what a squirt is made from. Should it have left a stain? If there is no stain on your couch then surely it must be safe to squirt anywhere? Do you lug a big towel around in prep for a squirt? they say its made from piss so would you go around pissing everywhere in your house?Sorry, so many questions to your questions. A squirt here, a squirt there. Fucking squirt anywhere....... Something I guess I would need to see how you squirt to be able to answer.So with that in mind SexySally, what say we do some research here?More wine?Are you really comfortable in that dress?RelaxDid I say more wine?Now you said sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Let me see, lets try this............ Good Luck with your squirting. Let me know after the next time. Annie xxxxxx
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Seachange73
10 years ago
So I had a big morning at work in Sydney and decided I wanted to have a good lunch of Vietnamese soup in Sydney Chinatown. As I work and travel on my own, I am used to eating on my own in restaurants and love it. At the time, I was really hungry and it was past 2:30. Late lunch but I needed the bowl of Vietnamese beef noodle soup to nourish my hungry body and tired soul. I walked into the small Vietnamese noodle shop, and sat on my own waiting for the waiter to serve me. Caught his eye and he gave me a thermos of free tea. Great start.... He proceeded to get my order. Him: 'Yes, what you want?'Me: ' A regular bowl of Pho Dac Biet, please'.Him: ' Just the one?'Me: 'Why, you reckon I need more than one?' WTF? I don't think I look obese for him to think that I am the type of person to have more than 1 bowl of noodle soup. I am offended but too tired and hungry to give a smart retort. Question: Is he saying I need to lose weight? Looking forward to your sage comforting advice. 'TheOnlyAsianInTheVillage'
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RHP User
10 years ago
Dear Auntie,I am finding myself somewhat grumpy of late. I get grumpy at young men who obviously have not read my profile and send me flirts and messages despite me clearly stating because I have sons of a certain age, I do have an age limit. I get even grumpier when I start communicating with someone and I tell them upfront I prefer to meet in public first and then they hassle me to come to my place or meet at their apartment. I find messages such as "do you wanna play NOW" insulting and disrespectful. Assumptions that because I responded to a message means I am going to fuck them drive me absolutely crazy. I got so annoyed with one young man I actually told him to "F*** OFF" . I have tried so hard to be respectful and treat others as I want to be treated but I despair Auntie. I want to yell at some of these disrespectful #%$%ers and I have even had inclinations of violence. So please help me because I am not liking where I am at and I'm wondering whether I have become a COW (cranky old woman).
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' So I had a big morning at work in Sydney and decided I wanted to have a good lunch of Vietnamese soup in Sydney Chinatown. As I work and travel on my own, I am used to eating on my own in restaurants and love it. At the time, I was really hungry and it was past 2:30. Late lunch but I needed the bowl of Vietnamese beef noodle soup to nourish my hungry body and tired soul. I walked into the small Vietnamese noodle shop, and sat on my own waiting for the waiter to serve me. Caught his eye and he gave me a thermos of free tea. Great start.... He proceeded to get my order. Him: 'Yes, what you want?'Me: ' A regular bowl of Pho Dac Biet, please'.Him: ' Just the one?'Me: 'Why, you reckon I need more than one?' WTF? I don't think I look obese for him to think that I am the type of person to have more than 1 bowl of noodle soup. I am offended but too tired and hungry to give a smart retort. Question: Is he saying I need to lose weight? Looking forward to your sage comforting advice. 'TheOnlyAsianInTheVillage' Come in Only.......Sit and allow me to ease your worries.I'd give you a drink but you get pissed really quick so.........Well, maybe a little one, double bourbon.Here.Well you didn't disclose if this was one of your 3 hour lunches that I know you have on occasions.I've seen you in action remember. You should lighten up...............Hang on, perhaps a bad choice of words given the topic and question. Excuse me.What I mean is why is it that women always take the negative of what a man says?You girls always find the opposite of what was meant. In my view, and the view before me of a vivacious woman, he was trying to look after you.Maybe he thought you were too skinny?Wanted to beef you up a bit?Perhaps he was wanting to get rid of the rest of the soup.It had probably been dragging all week and possibly would not have gone another day. It was on the edge if not off already. Did he give you a discount?You feel alright? Tummy not a bit spinny?You look a little pale. Better lay down. Take a slug of your drink. Might help. I'll get you another one........ Perhaps I'll go get a bucket...........No, don't use that one over there, that's my fuckit buckit, I was showing it to sexysally before, you don't want to look in there..........wouldn't be good to look at with a sensitive tummy. Got her a bit squeamy as it was! Yeah sorry about those stains too. They should dry soon. No, no, just spilt her drink...... You'll be fine, after a stomach pump.Good thing you didn't have the extra bowl. Actually, I'll leave you with it. I not good when people start vomiting Good luck Annie xxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' Me: ' A regular bowl of Pho Dac Biet, please'.Him: ' Just the one?'Me: 'Why, you reckon I need more than one?' WTF? I don't think I look obese for him to think that I am the type of person to have more than 1 bowl of noodle soup. I am offended but too tired and hungry to give a smart retort. Question: Is he saying I need to lose weight? Maybe he thought someone would be joining you.Maybe he thought you could do with some more nourishment because you looked tiredMaybe their servings are tiny.Maybe he asks everyone that question. Maybe it's his version of "anything else? or "will that be all?"MaybeMaybe Maybe Who knows? It makes me sad you immediately jumped to the most negative conclusion. Hug.
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Hahaha. Good reading Annie. I needed that extra pat in the back. Or burping after big lunch. Just laughing it off as a very unusual thing to say. But the soup was great and nourished my soul. I was just taking the piss out of the situation. How could one take it so seriously? Meander, errr.. it was just a joke? Did you.think I was serious? Lol.
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Thanks for the hugs though. Can you burp me as well while you are at it? I brought My own burping towel. Watch out for tge regurgitated noodles. Xxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
My bad. *Pats Lily on her back*
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RHP User
10 years ago
I was also going to say, maybe he thought a lovely woman like your self would most likely have someone else coming for lunch as well. So, sorry Lily, you fooled me too, as unfortunately a lot of people do always take the incorrect negative meaning to something that was meant positive or innocent. Apart from that, how do you answer a question when the question is a joke and not serious, if you don't know. Are they joking, aren't they joking, am I helping or going to offend, bugger it may as well not comment. May help (same as real life when joking), put a little smiley face or wink at the end and not a sad face, as we are not all mind readers. Auntie should be charging you triple for the waste of time, with cues of people in need of help banging at the door. :-) (not joking but said light heartedly)
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
I took Lilys' post in the way she meant it. Light hearted. Just the way she is. Light hearted.
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madotara69
10 years ago
I thought Lily was worried about her arse :) I went to the Dr about losing some weight and he recommended that I try inserting food up me bum in layman's terms The bowel walls only absorb nutrients out of food stuffs very slowly. I said "sure doc, i'll give it a go" Dr said "come back in six weeks and we shall see how you are fairing with this diet." Six weeks later I walked in, the Doc said "wow the diet is working very well, seems you are managing it, have you noticed any side effects or anything unpleasant ? " I said "no Doc, I feel great" Dr said " well you don't need me any longer, glad to have helped" I thanked the Dr and as I got up and walked out he called out " hey you are walking like a woman, thought you said there were no side effects ? I said " no, there isn't Doc, i'm just chewing a minty"
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Hence I asked Annie for advice. The cheeky signoff of 'TheOnlyAsianInTheVillage' is a subtle hint to the light heartededness of my post. Buy seems list in translation. >>. i have posted my consultation fee payable to Aunt Annie as she is spot on. . She has met.me in person. I know she will get the nuance of my vexing dilemma. Lol. The long lunches are still debatable, deat Annie, and a rare occurrence only with special 'clients'. >>. ♥♥♥
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Bwahaha @worried about my arse. A second bowl woukd meani need a wide angle lens to take another shot f my bum!!! >>.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid'The cheeky signoff of 'TheOnlyAsianInTheVillage' You saying this place ain't big enough for both you and Tulips4u? Them's fightin' words!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Here is the Welsh..."yr unig Asiad yr y pentref "😘xxFreya
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madotara69
10 years ago
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch You are missing a few vowels there... and spaces... You can buy a vowel, ya know..... <insert laughing face here>.
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madotara69
10 years ago
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Can we leave it there? Misunderstanding? I think i answered Lily's in the spirit is was meant. Gypsy. Ill get to you tomorrow. Need the dust to settle here first.....
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madotara69
10 years ago
All light hearted banter here Annie, how come you only have Playboy and Hustler magazines in the waiting room ?
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'Single_Guy4U'Apart from that, how do you answer a question when the question is a joke and not serious, if you don't know. Are they joking, aren't they joking, am I helping or going to offend, bugger it may as well not comment. I think I have the ability to judge if a question is serious or lighthearted. I haven't got many serious questions in here but there has been at least one. Don't profess to know everything about anything but I do have some life experiences that you can't find down the local hotel or corner store. And yes, if you hadn't noticed, I have an opinion or 2. Right or wrong.. I had a young Trans message me recently to ask a question. She was uncomfortable in posting in here in fear I may make light heart of her situation. But I would never do that. It was a pity the situation could not be shared in here as it may have helped someone else deal with similar issues. Trans people are naturally shy and sensitive. I know I am............ So I am happy to answer serious stuff, I am happy to answer light hearted stuff. And if I can turn a serious situation around a little, put a little spin on it to put a smile on their face then I am very happy. Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'GypsyWildNT' Dear Auntie,I am finding myself somewhat grumpy of late. I get grumpy at young men who obviously have not read my profile and send me flirts and messages despite me clearly stating because I have sons of a certain age, I do have an age limit. I get even grumpier when I start communicating with someone and I tell them upfront I prefer to meet in public first and then they hassle me to come to my place or meet at their apartment. I find messages such as "do you wanna play NOW" insulting and disrespectful. Assumptions that because I responded to a message means I am going to fuck them drive me absolutely crazy. I got so annoyed with one young man I actually told him to "F*** OFF" . I have tried so hard to be respectful and treat others as I want to be treated but I despair Auntie. I want to yell at some of these disrespectful #%$%ers and I have even had inclinations of violence. So please help me because I am not liking where I am at and I'm wondering whether I have become a COW (cranky old woman). Come in Gypsy.Hows that caravan going?Getting a workout?Sorry for the delay.No....Couch is out getting drycleaned............. Yes, hear your problem. But is it really a problem?Would a real problem be that you have NO offers?Wading through the offers must surely be a little better that staring at a blank mail box.You have interested people that would like to be with you.Sure, there are many of those you will not wish to see.Some that will just wish to use you and discard you.Many that will not meet your specifications.It's a numbers game afterall.And we know that the excited, frustrated men in here do not read.They look at the pictures and the age.The young ones, well, we are all looking for something different to the next person.Some like them young, some old, it goes on...............Be flattered that the young find you sufficiently sexy to fill their quests.Fill your self esteem bucket as often as you canThink positive.You are a woman.You have the power to say yes, no, maybe. Sometime all in one sentence. It's your right.Your finger is your extension. If you need to give them the finger then do it with confidence.Block, block, block.So use your female intuition and intelligence.But remain true to yourself and remain respectful.Walk away from the keyboard for another glass of wine.Come back and Block......... But remember, you are you. You have something that they want.And sometimes they have something you want.And when the two of those conditions are met..............time for fun.So have some. Don't be grumpy. Smile and have fun finding some. Good luck Gypsy Annie xxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
You completely misinterpreted him, he thinks you are too thin and need extra food!! Sorry aunty Annie, moving on now! MrM
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RHP User
10 years ago
Dear Annie....... Hi, how are things with you? Last I heard you were on the helter skelter at Luna Park. Have you checked out Coney Island; quiet, quaint and a lil retro. I've a delicate question, one that you can't really ask the ladies over a cup of tea. I've not up to speed with the latest check list of what can be said on RHP, so for the faint-hearted I'll use invisible ink and hope you have a lemon handy. My question is about [bumholes]. Sorry, I hope I haven't startled you. You see earlier this year a friend of mine told me that [people with natural red hair] have the most beautiful [coloured bumholes] and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. Now, being [fair skinned], I have tended to gravitate towards the opposite, but I can't get [bumholes] of [red heads] out of my head. Can you fill me in. You see, I've now started looking specifically for [red head] and while I found men are happy to talk about their [cocks] the topic of [bumholes] is probably a topic for date number .... actually, I'm not sure when. Maybe you can inform me. Can you answer this age old question for me. Do [red heads have the most beautiful coloured bumholes] Yours in waiting, SimplySeeking[Red]
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've heard the modern day lemon - seems it looks very much like highlighting with a mouse. x
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RHP User
10 years ago
Dear Annie. I feel torn in half right now. By day, I am a well groomed professional of high esteem. Polished shoes, pleated trousers, designer shirt, manicured hands and impeccable choice of practitioner only distributed hair products. My business thrives on my image. But when I get home, well, you know, the house is cold, dark, and lonely. Maybe it stems from my humble beginnings in the backwaters of a small incestuous suburban town, but, I have taken to wearing daggy tracky daks, knee high ugh boots, and finally, to top it all off, a checkered flanno lined with fleece. I have long lamented the loss of the ugg boot from a warm comforting pice of footwear into the world of fashion faux pas, and predicted their triumphant return, which did occur in 2008, but only lasted a season before returning to bogan status. Thing is, I live in the same suburb as I work. As a consequence, I haven't been able to leave the house for weeks in fear of being seen. It's been really cold here in NSW. I have been following your advice before, and you seem the perfect person to be asking, though I have already tried wearing Globes, but find they squeak annoyingly on my polished floor boards. Help me. Agrophobic in Aberdeen.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Every now and then I just have to vent. . . .yes I know there is a post for that as well. I have curtailed my grumpiness and have returned to the smiling, cheerful woman I normally am. Now, how do you stop the face ache from smiling so much Yours in sunshine and light (literally, this is Darwin after all) GWNT
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'HennaJay' Dear Annie....... Hi, how are things with you? Last I heard you were on the helter skelter at Luna Park. Have you checked out Coney Island; quiet, quaint and a lil retro. I've a delicate question, one that you can't really ask the ladies over a cup of tea. I've not up to speed with the latest check list of what can be said on RHP, so for the faint-hearted I'll use invisible ink and hope you have a lemon handy. My question is about [bumholes]. Sorry, I hope I haven't startled you. You see earlier this year a friend of mine told me that [people with natural red hair] have the most beautiful [coloured bumholes] and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. Now, being [fair skinned], I have tended to gravitate towards the opposite, but I can't get [bumholes] of [red heads] out of my head. Can you fill me in. You see, I've now started looking specifically for [red head] and while I found men are happy to talk about their [cocks] the topic of [bumholes] is probably a topic for date number .... actually, I'm not sure when. Maybe you can inform me. Can you answer this age old question for me. Do [red heads have the most beautiful coloured bumholes] Yours in waiting, SimplySeeking[Red] Hey gorgeous.Glad you could make it back.Or should I call you 008 with all this secret shit. I'm 007.That was my nickname 20+ years ago. Known for a quick dive out the bedroom window or balcony for various reasons.....Unexpected family is a real bitch.But to you and your question.Nice touch with the magic ink by the way.Well [bumholes] are a bit special to me. I've seen the odd one over the years. But [redhead] ones?Casting my memory back. I have played with a few. Well......a lot then. A lot of everyone.........sorry.Usually in a darkened room. Not always my choice. People are a bit funny when it comes to [bumholes]And really, who can blame them? We all have them and can generally cause a bit of shit especially if preparation hasn't been up to optimum conditions. And thinking back on the [redhead bumholes], yes there has been a bit of contrast in the darkened room. But anything spectacular doesn't naturally spring to mind. You aren't comparing them to.........fuck. Cant go there even with invisible ink.That brings to mind an event. A gang bang if you like. And yes I may have been a guest of honor. This was in the 70's before the dreaded HIV. So condoms were well optional. Let me paint the picture. Gang bang. Ultra Violet light was in use. You know, black light. Let me just say, I had a lot of contrast in the darkened room. Talking casper the ghost. But safe to say, I was way past the level of a [redhead] 's [bumhole]. They have nothing to worry about in comparation..... But [bumholes] in general are like [pussies, snatches, cunts, fuck holes] its a measured interpretation of what you like in them. Very personal. One can be a turn on for one and a turn off for another.Now talking about them to men. Well that can be an event in itself yeah? And [redhead] men. Most are shy I find. Nothing wrong with that. How many men are up for a chat about them. And suggesting theirs may be......well different. Good luck there.I would say that you need to be on date 5. And I do not suggest talking about it. Just go for it. Bend the [redhead] over and give it a good licking. Spread the [bumhole]] ]wide and give it a good gaze as you go in. And report back my lovely for your review. You may need to do more than one. Always a bit of variance you know.We will all be waiting for the answer. Sorry I can't help you. You need to do the work for your own viewing pleasure.Tell you what though. As a measure, you being fair skin, it's a fair bet that your [bumhole] could have a bit of contrast to the surrounds. Can I have a look?That's it........nice undies. Bend........Nice...........I like it. Now hold still..........What?.........You did say in your post that you needed me to fill you in...........See, it's not so bad. ....... I wont be long.......there.Hey, I could prove a point. Wait on. There it is, in my cupboard. Lights out. It's my UV light..........See. Your [bumhole] glows in the dark. Oh and the inside of your legs are a bit glowy too. Like a little river there , hey?And the end of my dick. Like a big torch.... Hope you find the [bumhole] of a lifetime out there. There are some nice ones and quite a few shitty ones.Think, you could well become the [bumhole] whisperer......... And by the way, you need to apologise to all those with phones accessing this. Aint gonna work. Good luck HJAnnie xxxx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' Dear Annie. I feel torn in half right now. By day, I am a well groomed professional of high esteem. Polished shoes, pleated trousers, designer shirt, manicured hands and impeccable choice of practitioner only distributed hair products. My business thrives on my image. But when I get home, well, you know, the house is cold, dark, and lonely. Maybe it stems from my humble beginnings in the backwaters of a small incestuous suburban town, but, I have taken to wearing daggy tracky daks, knee high ugh boots, and finally, to top it all off, a checkered flanno lined with fleece. I have long lamented the loss of the ugg boot from a warm comforting pice of footwear into the world of fashion faux pas, and predicted their triumphant return, which did occur in 2008, but only lasted a season before returning to bogan status. Thing is, I live in the same suburb as I work. As a consequence, I haven't been able to leave the house for weeks in fear of being seen. It's been really cold here in NSW. I have been following your advice before, and you seem the perfect person to be asking, though I have already tried wearing Globes, but find they squeak annoyingly on my polished floor boards. Help me. Agrophobic in Aberdeen. Come into my parlour Unrushed.Seems like you are unrushed about getting that cock out of your pants.Been staring....err I mean looking at it for a while now. It's a familiar view for me.But anyway, you talk of a double life.You are in the company of an expert of a double life.Mild mannered sex fiend during the dayWild mannered sex fiend during the night once I ditch my tradie clothes and don my tranny ones Well your problem. You are not being true to yourself.You have the plastic clothes of the corporate world during the day.A world where everyone looks the same. Similar colored suits and shirts.What the only distinguished diff you suit sets wear is a colored piece of cloth around the neck.Ever thought how ridiculous a tie is? What purpose does it serve? To tell Bruce apart from John who has a blue tie on instead of the red tie that Bruce sports.Now compare yourself to the ladies of the business world. They rock.How different they all look. The handbags, the frilly shirts or perhaps a sheer number. Skirts of different lengths. Colours of every description. They have it made. Check material for their skirts, or pastel colors or floral. YumAnd should I mention the shoes. Choice, choice choice. Sorry I sound like a Kiwi..........They have style, you guys are just clones. The only good thing about your suits is when we undress you and drag you down to our level with your colored ties.Now all this fashion or rather lack off, that you are stuck with during the day, you need individuality when you get home.Shed your clothes and clad yourself with comfort clothes. You have a condition by having been conditioned by the corporates.You regress to your bogan upbringing to seek comfort.It's natural. So you need to embrace your other side by intermingling the two sides and be differentWear a check flannel shirt to the office with a neutral tie. Or perhaps a bow tie.Sprout some individuality in your big day at the office. When you are at your desk. Slip off those black shiny shoes and slide a nice pair of mockys on. You will start a trend. In no time, you will be the talk of the office. Try some brightly colored skinny pants. The bold new you. An individual.And when at home, try wearing the big sprucy suit when you mow the lawns. Do some chores in your crisp office shirt. Be seen attending to washing the car with the Italian leather shoes on. Mingle and mix. You'll break the brainwashing, your private life will return to normal where the neighbours point and talk in hushed tones. They will be impressed. You should see my neighbours. They point and talk about me all the time. Before,they used to run inside when i came outside. I started dressing with flare. Style. And one major thing we need to address. Your Globe shoes squeak on the floor boards? You are using the wrong floor cleaner. Shheeesh. Good luck Agrophobic. And do me a favour. Can you do an another piccy for your profile where your dick is actually out of your pants?The suspense is killing me. Annie xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks Annie. You're right. You can take the boy out of bogansville etc etc. Say, your statement 'From Tradie to Trannie' has a ring to it. Kinda like 'From Rags to Riches'. Have you ever considered going out on your own? Like starting a mobile fix-it service? I saw a crane hire logo one time, said 'We Specialise in Erections'. Maybe your team could be 'HandyTrans. We Come to Your (Back) Door' or something? Don't get me wrong. I know Australia is a bit backwards when it comes to embracing the Rainbow People, but then again, Precilla was loved and embraced by all. I see opportunity. Regarding my trouser snake, I keep it under wraps because, well, really, I want people to love me for my mind. Last time I got it out, I started getting all these cold calls. Mainly from men. You know, messages like 'Nice piece. Wanna fuck?' From ISukStr8Guys. C'mon people. Wine and dine me. I wanna feel special. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'GypsyWildNT' Every now and then I just have to vent. . . .yes I know there is a post for that as well. I have curtailed my grumpiness and have returned to the smiling, cheerful woman I normally am. Now, how do you stop the face ache from smiling so much Yours in sunshine and light (literally, this is Darwin after all) GWNT That's easy Gypsy.Some nice oral sex will relax those face muscles as you wrap your lips around your man's hard cock.And will make your vagina smile............. Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' Thanks Annie. You're right. You can take the boy out of bogansville etc etc. Say, your statement 'From Tradie to Trannie' has a ring to it. Kinda like 'From Rags to Riches'. Have you ever considered going out on your own? Like starting a mobile fix-it service? I saw a crane hire logo one time, said 'We Specialise in Erections'. Maybe your team could be 'HandyTrans. We Come to Your (Back) Door' or something? Don't get me wrong. I know Australia is a bit backwards when it comes to embracing the Rainbow People, but then again, Precilla was loved and embraced by all. I see opportunity. Regarding my trouser snake, I keep it under wraps because, well, really, I want people to love me for my mind. Last time I got it out, I started getting all these cold calls. Mainly from men. You know, messages like 'Nice piece. Wanna fuck?' From ISukStr8Guys. C'mon people. Wine and dine me. I wanna feel special. - Posted from rhpmobile thanks for the banter.I'm sure i'll love you for your mind but I can't when it's stuck in your pants....... You are a guy after all you know. And yeah thinking about the Tranny home service industry. Just need to custom manufacture some Hi Vis short skirts. But the safety stilettos.........let's not go there. Nightmare. Just wondering if you have reincarnated from someone................... The name is new but the style you post?But it's all good. I like the style and basically you could probably park your uggies under my bed any time. But ditch the tie....... unless you want me to restrain you with it. Well at least that's one good thing you could do with them. Fuck all else. Annie xxx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
As a follow on from another post in "something wrong with me" someone has requested more information. So here it is. The seduction - her version Part 1 The fire was warming to my whole body. The gentle crackling and dancing of the flames just seemed to bring a peace over us as we chatted there. We were half sprawled over the piled rug, our legs slightly intertwined in a civilized fashion as we made the most of the position to gain from the radiated heat. He had poured a wine for us, a deep shiraz. It had superb aroma as I swirled it around in the glass and sipped. The intensiveness of the grapes stood out and coated my mouth with it's velvet like stickiness. Now as I looked at the glass, I noticed I had consumed probably too much,combined with the wine at dinner. My awkwardness of the occasion had seemingly evaporated. The edge had gone from my thoughts and I felt pleasantly relaxed.I looked at his lips as he spoke. The words I could hear but I wasn't taking that much notice of their meaning. I seemed to have a permanent smile on my lips as my mind skipped around. I kept glancing from his lips to his eyes, their beautiful blueness so fixing that I had to consciously leave them almost straight away to avoid being drawn in. I think i was in the moment. I kept reminding myself that this was the first date. This wasn't supposed to be like this. Where was my guarded self? But the wine had eased that to the back of my mind. God, those lips of his. Perfect. Glistening with the light coating of wine over them. I suddenly felt his hand on my bared shoulder beside the strap of my dress. The feeling of his strong hands against my skin was awakening something. Instinctively, I lifted the hand that I wasn't using to support myself to touch his arm. The bicep. Wow. It was oozing strength under my touch as I gently kneaded it. His own hand radiating warmness onto my shoulder. It was happening. I was looking at his lips and now they were getting closer as he pulled me gently toward him. I flicked my tongue over my own lips by pure instinct and left them slightly parted. We met. His lips just hovered there for what seemed an eternity, just slightly touching my own. They shifted slightly, rubbing gently with mine and then more pressure as we pressed together. The taste of the wine, the taste of him. His lips parted slightly as well as we slid around each other. Think I'm getting lost here. My head was so light and feeling so wonderful and just as I thought that, i could feel a familiar throb grow within me. Oh no, I could feel myself getting wet. No. This is a first date. I must not. Surely.His hand shifted from my shoulder and gently caressed the side of my head as our lips danced. My eyes were closed as the tides of passion engulfed me. I could feel my nipples hardening and pressing into the lace cups of my bra. I tried to control my breathing as a last act of defiance to what was happening to me. But as I felt his breath quicken within the kiss, my own expelled in a tell tale sign that I was quickly surrendering to this gorgeous man. I was beyond stopping now. I new I wanted him. My hand shifted from his arm to the back of his head. The feeling of his short hair in my touch as I pulled him into a tighter kiss. His tongue entered my mouth in a playful flick. I was gone. Not sure if you want more? Gets saucier as it goes.........Annie xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Safety stilettos. Yep. I see your problem there. I've been posting here since mid 2013 (?) and have come & gone a few times. Think we might have overlapped on a few threads in the lead up to when Songbird flew in.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
All good. Worked it out Sir Lancelot...........
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RHP User
10 years ago
Annie, can I be M, rather than 008? I'd think I'd be better back at HQ, bonking the tech boffins, then out under sniper attack. I can't fake an accent, my seduction skills are a bit laggy, and definitely can't run with class in heels. But, you're right, I should apologise to the phone users, I'm sorry dear phone user, but I think it was for your own good. Also I think I secretly have the hots for computer users. PC's as well. There is no accounting for taste, I know. So Sorry (not sorry)
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
The seduction - Male version Fuck that fire was a real bitch to get going, hope its worth it.Glad I turned the lights out, she looks better by the firelight.But still, it is nice here. Warm enough. Bit uncomfortable though.Hope me leg doesn't cramp up.Wines not bad. Kill for a frothy though. Things you do.Guess I need to bang on for a while. She seems to have got a bit pissed I think.That second glass I reckon. Getting a bit glassy and a stupid look over her face.Maybe make a move shortly, don't need a late night. Have a big day at the footy.God, love her tits in that dress. They look great in this light from the fire. Love to nuzzle into them later. Or sooner.Smashing dress. Showing some flesh there. Nice shoulders. I'll give em a touch and see what happens. Thought so, no bra, cant feel a strap.Yeah nice skin. Soft as.Mmmm, she into it maybe, touching my arm like that. Fuck it, I'll go for the pash and see what happens.Oh yeah, wetting her lips. Here we go. Nice. Should I stick me tongue in I wonder. Yeah fuck it. Nothing ventured as they say.Fuck yeah, she's up for it. Pulling me in like that.Grouse, gonna get a fuck here for sure.Gees, i'm getting a fat already. Glad I didn't drink too much. Going to be a good fuck this one........
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RHP User
10 years ago
I can't even. Help.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I can't even. Help. Come in for a big hug.(Hugs and gives Meander a big bum squeeze........)We agreed you wouldn't come here during business hours.They might find out about us.That it is all a ruse. That they will find out that we are just a vanilla couple living a false life.Living a lie in the forums to boost our RHP share prices up.Is it time, to sell our shares and shift to that white picket fenced house?I've seen the stress you have been under.The 8 pages of TMI. I know it's been telling.Your posts have been........fragmented.But I know it's not you.I know the real you.You know the real me.Let me ditch the stilettos and the fish nets.I'll wear the trackie daks and the Converse for you.I can do it.Really the Globes mean nothing to me. I wanna be that guy.That does the lawns on Sunday.The easy sunday morning fuck sideways.The occasional missionary position.I can do it for you Meander.But I wont do the check shirt.I have some standards. I need to live with myself. The Converse is a stretch but for you I can do that.I knew I had you when you saw me without heels. 6'2".Stubble and a lace bra.I saw you melt.Let's just elope.You me.I can make you happier than what you are now.I know you are just not into that kinky stuff.You are a one man woman. I've seen you praying to god with your eyes closed with those people.Yelling out gods name and saying NO!We can do this.Think about it.I can take you away from this.One day we can have make love without clothes.Imagine seeing each other naked for the first time.That's so kinky eh?Can't wait.Hey what's for dinner tonight?Feeling like a roast. You?Okay. Be home about 7:00We can watch home and away together.And the spelling show. That'll be so good wont it!But remember. It's our secret. Till we sell RHP.Meekas the word............xxxxxx Annie
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'll let you believe the fact I'm a one-man woman for a bit longer in return for you wearing Converse for me. Awww, I knew that was a tough one x
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RHP User
10 years ago
Isn't love wonderful
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