T64
Ask Auntie..............
May 31 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Lovinit28' Does my ass look big in this????? Reading this post with an apparently later profile piccie...it doesn't even look like your arse Looks great all the same
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Any_Whichway' Awww, no pressure........ I need a think. Get back to you later tonight. Annie xxx The pressure's is on, you might not be feeling it but I can tell KK is
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Yes you are so correct. Fresh is best. Why go to Coles when you can buy at the farm. But preparation is your friend. Bit awkward holding up production when you pull out your makeup wipe at the last moments to prep your face. And application can be a little nerve racking. I mean you dont want the bulk of it running down your tonsils. You know you are going to have trouble when you feel his hand firming up on the back of your head. Timing is the thing. Just on the cusp of the vinegar stroke their hand usually loses tension. You have to whip that gorging fire hose out and aim with hope. Could be some funny looks at breakfast down the cafe with your hair a mess next morning. And of course once production starts, the apllicator is hard to control. The producer seems to constantly want to get that thing back in your mouth all the time. I find showing some bared teeth reduces that behaviour. Now smooth it over with applicator. Funny how it gets smaller the more you use it. Job done girl. Unless you have another supplier at the other end getting ready to start production. That would mean you going to do a peel mask. Lucky girl..... Good luck Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear Auntie Annie.... my problem is not with the hickey itself (love receiving & giving them )... more to do with best ways to hide them. The younger chickies in the office are a little peeved that an old duck is getting more action than they are, scarfs and high collars just sends them to high alert! What to do ?
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RHP User
11 years ago
The other night I had a rather disturbing dream and as my dreams are normally all bunny rabbits and daisies, I am worried. In my dream I worked in a fish and chip shop on a jetty. In the surrounding water lived flannel clad, mullet sporting, verbally abusive zombies. They were surprisingly agile and my poor customers had to beat their heads in with baseball bats if they wanted to eat my fatty delights. Some of the things they said to me really hurt my feelings. This progressed to travelling north to an Easter celebration on a zephyr (this bit was pretty good). Then i was denied the shiny dark chocolate treat I wanted because 'I was not a child'. Well I woke up pretty distraught. Am I watching too much GOT? Will I ever get my chocolate? Do I have a pathological hate for canibal Bogans? Have I sizzled my brain living in the desert too long. Will I ever own a Chippy? Annie, please, I need some answers. Yours, The dreamer. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Easy solved my sweet. 2 answers, the obvious and the not. The obvious is to conceal. Red concealer to cover the blue. I use it by the bucket to cover the blue of my facial beard line. Thick foundation then. I use theatrical products from the pro shop. The other is to get them to do it on the front of the thigh. Hickeys come up a treat there. With the added bonus every time you drop your knickers you get an instant flashback. On your neck, you need a mirror. On your thigh you can have a bit of self love and look at them while you work yourself up. Gets you over the line a little quicker, especially if you have a big collection of bruises splayed around your pubic area. Nice........ get him....or her...to give it a go. Good luck Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dearest Annie, I am finding all of a sudden I have a craving for the new KFC Mex Twister, well actually more like the absolutely gorgeous man who is holding said twister, can I please have him, do you think KFC will help my new craving? KFC Craving - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
My dog is sick, and the person I need a hug from most is on the other side of the world. I'd be drunk right now, but since I'll be working with alcoholics this morning reeking of booze is considered a bit of a faux pas. How will I make it through today when I have to look after others and just want someone to look after me for a change?
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Expect the unexpected here. I'll tackle the hard issues that others wont. I dont rely on superfluous comments based on peoples looks and attributes. You have seen the true side of me showing that i care for the underdog and the downtrodden. Mmmmmm. But must say what a magnificent set of tits you have. I could have great time in there. I should hook you up with the gent with globophobia back on page 1 or2........ Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
We are a generation apart in age but i will tell you how i would tackle your big night if it was me taking your rocking body out for a run at it. Startjng at the bottom, we'll work our way up. I'm going for the classic timeless look as i dont know the event. We are both tall but we both like our heels. 3inch heels max. They will still tighten up the calves and arse and accentuate your feminine confident strut and maintain evening long comfort. Go black, maybe something that straps around the ankle and because your tall a strappy shoe can have wider straps. Hosiery is a big item for your night. Not negiotable are the the stay ups. Nothing plain, you have gorgeous long legs so lets get some bold lace or patern happening to lead the eye to them and then up to the heavenly area... Also not negitable is the g string. That way, teamed with the stay up stockings, if he goes the hug and his hands wander, they just might slip under your skirt and instantly he can feel that bare arse of yours. Hook line and sinker. I wont forget in a hurry that that very thing happened at the recent meet and greet in melbourne. She was giving me a hug near the casino in spencer st and roaming hands ended firmly on my bare arse. The look of delight on her face. Priceless with heavy traffic metres away! Big cheerio to her. Talk soon! Back to the task. Color of your g. Something bright. Red or white. Something that stands out in case the wind catches your skirt. We want to catch attention if gha TV hapoens. Matching bra of course. Your main outfit? Im a black girl. Skirt or dress, your choice but i go A line skirt often to accentuate my waist or rather where it should be. If its a dress, the bottom should flow out like an A line, again for that waist. And gotta be shortish to show off those legs. My legs are my best feature and even though in old, i still rock out the short ones. Color or your outfit, black predominantly with something red in it. I want red there because i love your makeup look with that red lipstick. You do it so well. In fact im not changing that all all. The top of your dress or matching top maybe round or high neck to frame your gorgeous face. And it is winter so no need to get too much skin out there. Sleeved or sleeveless doesnt natter but think weather. Your hair. I like the way you have it in piccy 5 or 6. Nail color in red to match your lipstick. Jewellery i think you would rock with silver but not too much. You dont need much. Perfume. My favs Riva Gauche. A all time classic. Love wearing it and love it when i smell it on others. Causes a stirring within. Thats it hun. Take what you need from that. But youll get him with anything cause ya hot!! Good luck Annie xxx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
As i said, long haul. Many a tear Will line the long road ahead Twists and turns Dips and crests The destination Shrouded by the journey Through rain and fog Storms and hail But rechoice For one day The road will peak One last hill In sunshine and warmth Your journey ends before you The calm ocean is there Golden sands to walk upon Grab her hand and lead Together you journeyed Together feel the destination Together swim in the crystal water Together, laugh Together, you will have arrived Together, forever Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
The coffee is fucking strong this morning.......
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear Auntie Annie... Do you even lift? Bro...erm.....sis?
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RHP User
11 years ago
You brought enough for everybody? ;)
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'ktulu100' I consider myself straight, and I grew up in country WA so anything but is almost considered a felony, but there's this guy at work, ever since I saw him scratch his stomach, you know the motion, where the shirt lifts up just enough to catch an eyeful of the lower abs and oblique, my mind has been wandering, wandering big time. He has this twinkle in his eye when he smiles. I am quite sure he is bi. What do I do? I also do my squats and deadlifts in Converses. Yours, the confused workplace perver. - Posted from rhpmobile Firstly the obvious. A 30 year old who wears converse. Are you trying to attract women in their 40's?Grab yourself some Globe shoes. Perhaps that will also attract the attention of the man whom you secretly admire.It could be a conversation starter. A bit of friendly banter where you could casually mention drinks on the friday night after work. If this happens, hit Lilyorchid up. She's spruiking the benefits of her purple tablets........ But secondly, think about it. You like working there? What if it all goes pear shape? You are both leaning over in a crowded bar talking in each others ear. And the urge to pash comes over you. Do you dismiss it? Do you put your hand around his head and draw him in? And what of rejection? He steps back with horror in his eyes? And bolts out the door.Your visions of sucking his cock suddenly evaporates and all you can think about is next monday morning. Is that a path you wish to travel? I think you need to check your bisexuality. Go down the gay sauna and experiment. Meat market for you. Suck a few and see how you feel first before tackling your work guy. Because perhaps if you did lean over and kiss your man, what if you are the one who realises its not for you and you bolt out the door. You will still have that monday morning issue to deal with. But it will feel better if you can wear your Globes in on that monday morning. But bisexuality is not to be taken lightly. You suddenly increase your market by 100%. I wouldn't leave home without it..... And on that friday. Wear clean undies and give your ring a good scrub. You may have your workmate sniffing around there............ Good luck Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
My heart is breaking, please can you tell me why this place has made me into a cynical and distrusting soul. signed deeply sad and let down
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'Longest_dream' The other night I had a rather disturbing dream and as my dreams are normally all bunny rabbits and daisies, I am worried. In my dream I worked in a fish and chip shop on a jetty. In the surrounding water lived flannel clad, mullet sporting, verbally abusive zombies. They were surprisingly agile and my poor customers had to beat their heads in with baseball bats if they wanted to eat my fatty delights. Some of the things they said to me really hurt my feelings. This progressed to travelling north to an Easter celebration on a zephyr (this bit was pretty good). Then i was denied the shiny dark chocolate treat I wanted because 'I was not a child'. Well I woke up pretty distraught. Am I watching too much GOT? Will I ever get my chocolate? Do I have a pathological hate for canibal Bogans? Have I sizzled my brain living in the desert too long. Will I ever own a Chippy? Annie, please, I need some answers. Yours, The dreamer. - Posted from rhpmobile Let's face it. Kalgoolie? It's the beginning of the end if you don't get out of there. It's all related.Don't you see? No water but you are surrounded in your dream. flannel Bogans, well you are surrounded every day in real life. (Annie waving with a big cheerio to all those at Kalgoolie!)You are yearning for a sea change where you can feed the seagulls. Jetty? The closest thing where you are is an ore conveyor belt. It's all the things you miss. But the fear of leaving is evident by the Zephr. Perhaps your subconcious thinks that a departure will be met in a flaming wreck as the Zephr explodes. But i think its a sign. You will leave by next easter. The chocolate will be your reward for your arrival in a sea side port.And the child thing. Well you are 28. Not getting any younger you know. And who knows, there may be a fish chip shop up for sale when you get there. A sign from the gods. Perhaps a hot fried mars bar will settle you before bed tonight. good luck Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'sammyfunxo' Dearest Annie, I am finding all of a sudden I have a craving for the new KFC Mex Twister, well actually more like the absolutely gorgeous man who is holding said twister, can I please have him, do you think KFC will help my new craving? KFC Craving - Posted from rhpmobile Perhaps I'm too late.......You've turned into one of those ghosts.He wont see you stalking him now. You can be beside him smelling his scent and he wont know. And you wont be able to order a twister. But you wont damage your health either. I have a premonition here. I can feel it.I predict you will disappear very shortly.Your pain will cease and you will be rebornA new you Come back to me then Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' My dog is sick, and the person I need a hug from most is on the other side of the world. I'd be drunk right now, but since I'll be working with alcoholics this morning reeking of booze is considered a bit of a faux pas. How will I make it through today when I have to look after others and just want someone to look after me for a change? You are my best customer.You stalking me? Sad about your dog. I'd chuck a sickie and stay home and look after him/her.At the same time, crack a nice bottle of shiraz, watch days of our lives and get into that tub of icecream in the freezer. You know its hidden up the back behind the frozen peas. I think you need some meaningless sex later tonight when you get pissed. That always makes you feel better in the morning with a hangover. Hope your dog gets better real soon. A pat from me. Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'BirdyZipper' Aunty Annie, I think my bridge partner was having a giggle to herself, when she suggested I join here. I merely mentioned, in passing that I'd like to go the pictures and maybe share a large popcorn with a nice man. Nothing too blue or racy, of course. All I've managed thus far, is to have a few faceless men, ask about the size of my tub, before enquiring when they can give me a piece of their choc top. I'm lactose intolerant! What are my chances of finding a man, who is partial to woollen vests, and isn't allergic to cats? Would it be helpful if I mentioned I am partial to brogues. Brown is so practical. Yours, in waiting. DazedBirdy.xo Well the important thing is you are here. And to be honest, I had to google brogues...........I had a pair once. In the 80's?There is the obvious isn't there. You need to get brogues out of the head. The man you seek will be sporting a lovely pair of sneakers. But the sad part is they will be converse brand. Best we can hope for at this stage. Converse and a nice cardigan slung over the shoulder.They will come faceless for that reason, in case someone reconises them with a cardy. It's not a woolly vest but perhaps cut the sleeves off early morning whilst he snores loudly on his back after giving you a few moments of push and shove. But as I said, the important thing is that you are here. Start off with low expectations but hopefully soon you will be engaging in nude bridge but wearing just their globe sneakers with no socks. And just moments away from an all in partner swap where the bridge table could become a tad sticky under arse. It wont happen over night, but it will happen. Brogues......really? Good luck I think Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear Annie, I'm writing this while sipping down a good strong coffee, I got woken up this morning at 4:30am, as I yawned and stretched i felt this sensation down on my knob it felt like someone was slowly licking and sucking on my knob, it didn't hit me till about 5 seconds that it was someone under the sheets in between my legs. I didn't know what to do i say, so i just layed there on my bed, enjoying it. After i came, that someone ducked under my sheets and left crawling out of my bedroom door. I didn't get a glimpse on who it is, but i live with one guy and one female flatmate. The female flatmate had a party last night and had 2 girls sleeping over in her bed though. What should i do? Should I just pretend it didn't happen? or should a leave sign on my bed to come back in again every morning? I must admit it was probably the best blowjob i've ever received! The best! Yours Truly, awakened
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsM' Dear Auntie Annie... Do you even lift? Bro...erm.....sis? Call me slow....Call me anything.....But dont call me good a cryptic things. I even googled that. Come up something in German?? Please explain (in those famous words) (WTF?) Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'sassylass45' My heart is breaking, please can you tell me why this place has made me into a cynical and distrusting soul. signed deeply sad and let down Simple answer sweets. Bloody Men....................... They have so much to answer for. Breaking our hearts. Blowing and going. leaving us with wet patches in our beds.Wiping their cocks on our curtains. Treating us like hookers but not leaving the money on the table but just leaving us with the small change that always falls out of their trousers when they rip them off. I get sore knees from retreiveing those gold coins that always end up under the bed, halfway in. Convert, get yourself a nice lady or a heavenly tranny. We are out there....... good luck with your search Annie xx
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Not writing in with any of my problems, which are just too many too mention. However am writing to say that this column of yours is wonderful and has gone viral. Bug help and service to.the rhp community (although Meander had been cashing in her livingsocial aunt annie consulting coupons too often). But I am worried about your health as we burden you with our load. I know it is not the load you were expecting on your face when yiu first signed up with rhp. So I would like to lend a helping hand to you in getting all these pearls of wisdim dispensed ASAP. Think auntie Annie PA or apprentice. What can I do for you, oh wise one? Polish your crystal balls, dust your stilettos or bathe your eunuchs in the morn? As self appointed Auntie Annie club president (Tis, we will talk about this later) I would like to ensure we enjoy your company and wisdom more. So we can love you long time. Here. The burden must be heavy. Even Jesus Christ had his gropies, err groupies to lighten his load so why not you too? Xxx Mary Magdalene. .... p.s. I prepared a cool soothing purple drink by your night table. Drink that and it will make you forget yesterday's problems.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Lets not deceive everyone, want_ this. I have a strong belief that you vested in my Beauty Tip#1. I did say that you will have erotic dreams. And maybe you put some on your lips. The taste and aroma made you think you were sucking cock and hence you had a realistic dream combined with wishful thinking. So there it is. Tonights another night so perhaps some more product and your desire to take a large man anally will see you up for a big night. Because Its just a dream, dont worry about condoms, just enjoy his warm load and then clean him up with your mouth. Enjoy. Glad we cleared that up. Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Your services is noted. We may have to meet for coffee later this week as discussed elsewhere. Bring your shorthand pad..............what do you mean you dont know what shorthand is? Am i that old?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear Aunty Annie, Thank you so much for your wise words. I must admit when I read the word cardigan, my heart skipped a bit. And I had remembered my angina medication. You're much wiser than Aunt Agnus, who told me I should trim my hedge and buy a bullet. Which is confusing, since I only have some potted parsley plants, and the only gun I've seen was Aunt Regina's air rifle, which she uses to keep the galahs away from her prized Silkies (chickens). If you're ever in Sydney, I'd share a tray of biscuits with you. Indebtedly yours, LessDazedBirdy.xo
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thankyou so much for your words. I fear you may have just stared into my soul. So kind that you did not mention my misuse of zephyr, I had meant to write zeppelin. Classy, tall and kinky, I bet you're racking up the admirers. 😊 Eternally thankful. Yours, Dreamer 😘 - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Thankyou. Sounds like you'd be a subscriber to "gun and rod" magazine. You know the one, with the blond guy with the cardy over the shoulder patting his golden retriever with one hand and holding his gun....er i mean rifle with the other. I think i would like your Aunt Agnus. Perhaps invite her for biscuits if i pop around one day. Although i would have suggested 2 bullets. Gets the job done faster. Perhaps a game of nude bridge whilst im there although id look more like Andy instead of Annie if we did. Nice tray of melting moments would be in order. I like your style. Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you Auntie Love always BigOcean xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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boots_69
11 years ago
Needed a laugh today - this forum made crap day much better. Cheers Boots
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Now about my tits, do you think I could wear this get up to the next meet and greet or do my tits stand out too much..... Just a little concerned, you know how conservative I can be..... Lovinit 😘
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Lovinit28' Now about my tits, do you think I could wear this get up to the next meet and greet or do my tits stand out too much..... Just a little concerned, you know how conservative I can be..... Lovinit 😘 How about you wear exactly that outfit to the next meet and greet and let the boyz tell you the first thing that "pops up" into their minds LOL....
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Yes i share your concern. Melbourne msy have been a bit brisk for that outfit although you may have provided some much needed warmth amongst the gathering from the visual. I can suggest you report to my room prior to the next one for my comment and approval. Give yourself a bit of time in case there is a need for adjustment. You may like to inspect under my skirt at that point as well rather than stick your head under it at the hotel as per last time. Yours Annie xx
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
I was waiting patiently for Auntie Annie, but thank you very much, for your on going support of my tits....😜
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
I'm a touchy feely kinda girl, that why God gave me hands for isn't it???? Plus I needed to see what was under the skirt, just to see if it's anything like a kilt, but I guess your skirt was a little too short for no underwear, but your panties were gorgeous...such a lovely bottom also.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
With Polys, I definitely think you should wear that outfit Loveinit at the next meet & greet. I'm lovein "Them" I do feel that a closer inspection is needed tho just to make sure everything is sitting right, you wouldn't want a wardrobe malfunction.......! 😜 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry, I missed your question....I was staring at your ..... Well you know :p
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RHP User
11 years ago
This time a sensible, topical and somewhat naive one! Caitlyn Jenner, having broken the internet, looks a stunning example of transformation. My question is, if she likes girls, is she a lesbian? If she likes guys is she gay?
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Thankyou for a challenging question. My all encompassing answer would be "very brave". Its challenging enough for trans people let alone if you were plastered around the world in magazines and the internet where everone can have an opinion about you. But yes your right, its not an answer to the real question. But there are many answers. There is the biological answer which we can all supply. But its the own persons answer that is the important one. And for each it will be different. It is how one perceives themselves within their thoughts and may be prejudiced by the view in the mirror. The majority and most, would feel that they are truly one of the sex that they have transformed too. In her case she would most likely consider herself as a woman but her thought of that may be delayed until surgery after which she would feel that she has finally arrived. But it boils down to labels. Im just a tv. I call myself bi. Covers the question for me. When i started as a TS 40 years ago , i considered myself as a woman but i never adopted sexual labels in regard to being hetro or gay. There was and still is no need for any trans person to. I can't find anything topical or humorous to say here on her behalf because that would be wrong. I can on my own behalf but i cant because the topic saddens me for my own situation . Maybe because i would like to be considered normal and then i would still be bisexual. But i know or at least been told im not normal. Maybe i and all the other trans are normal and its everone else that isn't. Thats what i would like to think. Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
That my last post made no fucking sense at all.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Anni I think you explained it pretty well considering it is a difficult question to answer. But you're right it's really up to re individual on how they perceive themselves. At the end of the day does it really matter??? What's normal? We're all different.... How boring if we were all the same. 😀 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Lovinit28' Now about my tits, do you think I could wear this get up to the next meet and greet or do my tits stand out too much..... Just a little concerned, you know how conservative I can be..... Lovinit 😘 Just be careful how you breath. That 1st button appears to have severe stress. Hang on, what am I saying, great get up, recommend you wear it
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Not wanting to turn this into Annie's blogg but i may as well add to the topic I hadn't seen the recent photo's of Ms Jenner until after my post above. My reaction to her new look........ Firstly i was stunned and impressed and good on her. My second and current opinion is that it provides an unreasonable role model to those in her situation or wanting to transform. Her look had the assistance of a lot of wealth. In real life most cannot achieve results like that and i think would create additional pressure to those who cannot afford the surgery and medical assistance to arrive at a result like that. My heart goes out to them. At least it raises the profile of the trans society and i guess that is a reasonable tradeoff. Can we take further discussion elsewhere or someone can start the new thread for it Now back to the purpose of this thread. Next question
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Be up in the morning.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You are sage and wise :) I was being rather cheeky (re my own thread about labels) by you answers beautifully. There is probably no answer, I agree, another thread should be started ... If nothing Ms Jenner will be responsible for an enormous amount of debate that deserves to be had! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear Auntie Annie..... MrsM recently went black.....will she ever go back? MrM. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Had to contain myself at first. I thought maybe you meant she bought a pair of black Globe sneakers. God, if that was the case, she never go back but silly me, you meant she's invested some intimate time with a male of a darker skinned persuasion. Rest assured she will return......eventually. May i suggest you have the housework done, the washing done and ironed. Excel yourself and give the dunny a scrub. Think about her favorite meal and have the prep for that done. Show her your skills darling. Prove to her its not all about gorgeous dark men that can hump all night and take their lovers to places they have never been. Cocks long enough to have room for 2 pair of hands. Attentive and considerate with not just charm but bulging glistening forms that can dominate but caress at the same time. Perhaps have the car ready to go pick her up as she's unlikely to be able to walk far. Maybe her new lover can carry her out to you if you ask nicely. So yes she'll be back. Glad i was able to reassure and make you feel better about it all. Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear Annie....... I'll side-step the talk of a vista of bottoms, to something more vanilla. Sigh. I've been rather enjoying vanilla dating land of late, and do enjoy the types of banter that excites the area far above the midline, rather than below it. I can leave much of the chatter about who puts what where; who is joining the we and where; as well as what's in that second (and more importantly) third drawer. But the one thing I'm finding tricky is, well ... I'm so used to seeing a cock pic, before getting to the cock in person that I'm at a loss to know the right time to see the goods. Do I wait till they offer, do I ask, or heavens for bid ... till they drop their pants? Please adivse, OnceCockFatigued-NowCockCurious.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
My sweet. I stand side by side with you on this. Definition of disappointment- No Endowment statement. How can these guys be so cruel. I mean what are we to think? That they are embarrassed to give a length? No girth? Do we take a chance? Let me digest. Would a man with a lengthy slong withhold his proud moment of announcing to the world that his pride and joy is so big.......? So there comes the value of a diccy piccy. To put at bay our fear and dread. But alas, not there...... To put ourselves into the realm of shallowness and message him up if he has a......cock shot he can email post haste. Or put a brave face on and show dignity by just bypassing and say " lets meet". You fidget with your latte glass or stroke the wine glass stem waiting for him to show, getting there early to pick the right seat to be able to watch him walk in. Discreetly eyeing that front to see if can glimpse an outline or a bit of sway inside the pants. And still zero. Do you go on? The last resort now. Make or break. Remain uncommitted about another meet. Get him to walk you to your car which you have parked in a quiet spot. Go a little kiss but linger. Wait for a return peck and then pash. Give it a good go at it girl. Get a bit of heavy breathing that he can hear and then the moment of truth. Gently push your crutch forward. You need some hardness to get some gauge. You will have worn something light so you have maximum sensation through the fabric. Give a bit of sideways swish. Get it hard. Nothing? Can't tell? Get in your car. Say you'll call. Go. Go like the wind. Lay rubber because its the only rubber coming into play there...... Good luck Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
I may have misinterpreted that........
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RHP User
11 years ago
Oracle Annie, More valuable than a box of magic 8 balls and much more detailed than my two horoscopes (I can't decide when I want my birthday to be) and even more eerily correct than an Ouija board. The pash, (assessing hip mash), and dash! Perfect. You're so very droll, sage and wise. Hugs.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Dear Auntie Annie i am planning to have a hot night with my fwb tonight... the place is getting cleaned, sheets changed and some 'maintenance; is to be done before he arrives late tonight (he works shift). I have new lingerie (fireman red lace, and a whole set of toys cleaned and ready). My question relates to the most effective placement of things to maximize our sexual experience and I know you are a bit of anb expert in Feng shui. I believe in making sure the qui flows freely and no bad energy hangs around to spoil the moment. Question: Should I have my gimp standing in the corner of the room while I make out with my fwb (will stuff his mouth with the pingpong ball to keep his screams muffled) or should I get him to walk the dog in his gimp suit? Either way, the gimp will comply but i need your guidance sensei.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Glad you posed such an important question. Feng Shui is a difficult arena to master but you have sought advice from a pure source. Gimps are an important source of positive energy. It would be advisable to have the gimp as close as possible for the maximum benefit. Do not have the gimp holding the dog. (Dont ask..... ). I need to ask if your FWB is bi. Is the Gimp a top, bottom or versatile? Until then, be careful. You are in a difficult position. Discretion is your friend Lily. Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear Annie I remember on the first album concert/gig thread you posted that your 1st album was Billy Thorpe and The Aztecs live at Melbourne Town Hall not sure if you've seen the vids yet but there are three live ones so I thought that when you take a break from responding to the many important things you're asked I thought you might like a trip down memory lane. Rubi :)
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Thankyou but what is a standout here is your memory! I have enough trouble remembering my phone number and age. But the age come tumbling back when i looked up the vids of which you speak. Surely you must be a libarian or is it just a case of women never forget......... My female mind has a lot to answer for........ Kisses and hugs for thinking of me Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dearest Annie I have fallen in love. The big LOVE with all the giddiness, lust, foolishness and fears any inexperienced 18year could expect from a first love. My favorite word is cuddles, and every thing I write ends in a xxx. My dick which I though would never function again now requires me to just think of her for a second to spring up into a rock hard monument of manhood. Sorry to those I let down, guess it was your fault after all. At this stage we have opted for the monogamous option, and look forward to the return of our sexual health check ups so we can be completely nude together. I know it is early days, there is no surety here, she the goddess she is, may at any moment wake from her dream and see me, but I will ride that dream as far as it goes. This is more a lovers need to express his excitement. I know your powers are well regarded so I was just asking If you could do a reading of the wet spot on the sheet of my first sleep over. Would be nice to know if the sheet favours us. Maybe know if I can retire the old bi label and hang up straight over the porn section of my mind. Thanksxxx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Come in. Been expecting you. Hop up on the couch. .......er you can leave your pants on this time. And pass me your dirty sheet..... There are a few of us that have been concerned for you, especially after the disclosure of your dysfunctional apparatus. Especially when we take in consideration a couple of recent threads. Whingeing for instance. Which by coincidence holds top spot on the active topic list. Only 3 posts above this one. Not that ive taken much notice....... Imagine that, me topping you on the list....er which reminds me why you are here. Maybe your days of bottoming are over. Pass your sheet. (Examines. Scratches. Sniff sniff.) Well blindman i detect a strong odour of vanilla here. Which is fine. But i did think you were a big fan of the chocalate with a bit of strawberry. Cosmopolitan? Combine that with what you say you sign everything to her with XXX? i would have thought soeone love struck like yourself would be at least a XXXX or even a XXXXX. X and XX are usually for pleasantries. XXX ive seen on notes on the bedside table " Great night. Give you a call. XXX". They never do...... And XXXXXX are usually reserved for use when you want to become intimate with you but havnt made the move. Anyway thars my take. Keep me filled in Blindman. Goodluck Annie XXXXXX
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks for seeing me aunt annie( jumps up on your couch) Now my problem isnt a big problem, but I have pondered over yonder for quite a while.doing some inner searching and wondering why I am now happier not looking for anyone. I used to enjoy the chase and catch with a new person,and the excitement of a new lusty flirty connection with somebody.( yes Ive had some heavy personal issues over the last few months) But Im not interested in the least. And I am fine with that. So tell me, have I lost my mojo? Have I grown out of that part of my life, never to have that excitement and pleasure again? Is it a good thing that I am content this way or have I turned into my grandmother and will be known as the local cat lady who sits in a rocking chair and knits dick warmers? P.s dont let my age be your answer.( Your couch is so comphy, can I have it? I know a good furnature shop down your way where you can get a nice desk to replace it) willowtree_not weeping
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RHP User
11 years ago
Oh Auntie Annie, Today in the chat room I was referred to as a mature woman!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I am a very young 44, who has an insatiable libo, how dare 29yr old say I am mature, please please help me I am quite devastated over this. sincerely extremely young and sexy xoxo
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Yes, make yourself comfotable. Umm. See you've gone commando today........nice...... Where were we? Yes i remember. Seems to be a bit of this going on. Women in their 40s mainly. Did i tell you you look amazing for your age? They come out of a LTR slightly tarnished, majorly fucked over. They find a site like this and let rip. Like a kid on red cordial in a chocolate shop. They fuck like cocks are an endangered species. Some buy a big strapon and take great pleasure in giving some back to man kind . Bend them over and pretend its an ex. Go and go for 30 seconds till their abs fold. mmmm. How big is your strap on? Having expelled some nervous energy and bitterness, they collapse a little. They find the forum. They share their experiences and take it out cocky men who dont know any better. They exchange wicked ideas in secret womens business and dream up threads to catch those bastard men out. Go girls!. Some find young men to relive the younger years. Then the final recovery stage. They change their profile to say not dating, just here for the forum. This period is different for all. At some stage most will find a new partner outside in the vanilla world. One day their profile will go Pffft! They will leave rhp and not mention the experience to anyone. The strapon will go in the salvo bin. Marked at $10, a month later under the counter. They will be nervous for a few years down the local shopping centre, reconising so many faces as ex playmates slink around with their wives and kids, everyone pretending no one knows anyone. An occasional wink when the wife is perusing the shoe shop. Some will never leave the forum. Stuck for eternity and regailing ancient stories they lived back in the heyday. A lovely lady i am fond of, told me today that this is whats known as the elephant graveyard. Where they know their life is over and they go to live out their days. So take what you can from that. Your path is not set but there are a few forks on it. There is nothing unusual about your disposition. Perhaps one day you can use that strap on again. Relive the good old days. Perhaps a trip down to sexyland to fire your imagination and pretend its a strapping young man. Good luck Willow. ........Willow.........Willow you awake? Annie Xxxxxx (6)
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RHP User
11 years ago
they are smart and well written...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Lolz and big lolz!! you are pretty much on the mark there aunt annie. Although I wasnt recently out of a LTR but suppose it was still lurking in the background. Hmm, shall ponder the strapon being a thin veil of revenge of sorts. Although in all honesty, that side has been lurking since my late teens. But still could be a connection of sorts oh wise one.So how much do I owe you? Do you take ex husbands credit cards? Xxxxxx back at ya.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Couch is empty.........like to pop in?
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Mmmmm. 44yo. Did you read my response to Willow above? No. You may like to. You are at the red cordial stage in case your wondering. You havnt been here long have you? Do you have a strap on yet? You'll be needing one soon. Here's my catalogue . What you are experiencing is touched on above. About fucking younger men to relive your youth. You are only as old as the man you are rooting. Teach that 29 yo a lesson. Go fuck a 28 yo and tell him about it. Rub it in his face. He'll be wanting you. Go fuck him then. Maybe with your strap on..... Notice you are getting into the forum a bit more lately......just saying. Oh, and you have closed up your profile already. You are more advanced than what i thought. Go show him Sammy!! Good luck Annie xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thankyou Annie such wise wise words for me. Yes I read Willows reply and I am advancing at break neck speed now..... Look out!
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MsJonesy
11 years ago
This is a strange problem and I hope your wisdom can resolve the issue. My pussy seems to have fallen in lust with another pussy. When the other woman is around my pussy sits on her pussy and I don't get a look in. Even in bed my pussy sleeps between her legs and I feel neglected and unloved. When the hussy...sorry... I meant other woman..... leaves my pussy mopes for days and I seem to get blamed for driving her away. What should I do? I mean I do get plenty of attention as the other woman brin
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MsJonesy
11 years ago
Premature posting! The other woman does bring a gorgeous play date with her that I can have lots of fun with. But I feel sad that my pussy deserts me so quickly. Please help! Signed confused pussy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I recently had a birthday, and decided that I couldn't possibly be that old (I put up with it for 2 whole days!) shudder! so readjusted to a much more agreeable age, and the strangest thing has happened. I seem to have lost my vanilla in the process and the box it came in! Let me get closer and whisper in your ear....I don't want every one to hear...blush Yes really...that many...in 15 days....and never the same one twice...... Is there a cure? And will an ice pack help? Much love Slutty in suburbia - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
To say that the fora is the Elephant graveyard is actually an oxymoron as Elephants go there to get away from the group,to die alone xx Barbar
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Its a busy graveyard. Its on a hill. Lovely outlook. Thanks Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Comfy? Your problem is not uncommon but is mostly reported by men. Although that is only the case when their pussy comes back. They don't like to say much if their pussy doesnt come back. The fact that your pussy strays is because she's not moggyonmous. Likes to get about and sample lots of pussy. The principal of moggyonmous has been drbated for centuries. In some cultures, pussies are beheaded for wandering. If it continues and causes you constant concern, the option of calling in a pussy whisper may be considered. Could be just a case of a good squirt for all pussies on the bed and would make for contented pussy. Apparently there are a few pussy whispers on this site who sprout off about their talents so may be worthwhile presenting your pussy to them. Remember, a very contented pussy is a moggyonmous one. Hope that helps. Good luck with your pussy. Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
If your premature posting becomes a concern, let me know. I can do therapy sessions. You just need a slow hand...... Annie xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Who put the bop into he bop she bop she bop? MrM - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'sammyfunxo' Oh Auntie Annie, Today in the chat room I was referred to as a mature woman!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sincerely extremely young and sexy xoxo Lol. hahaha... I saw that in the chatroom Sammy. Love the way he tried to backtrack on his comments. Soo funny. Sorry Annie. Just saying.. going back to my box now...Yikes.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' I recently had a birthday, and decided that I couldn't possibly be that old (I put up with it for 2 whole days!) shudder! so readjusted to a much more agreeable age, and the strangest thing has happened. I seem to have lost my vanilla in the process and the box it came in! Let me get closer and whisper in your ear....I don't want every one to hear...blush Yes really...that many...in 15 days....and never the same one twice...... Is there a cure? And will an ice pack help? Much love Slutty in suburbia - Posted from rhpmobile My poor darling. How did you make it up the stairs?You really did that many? God that beats my record even. Well done. Champagne?(Cracks a bottle and pours)Cheers............Well sweets, this stuff beats the red cordial I think..Now firstly, your pain. Ice pack doesn't work. Just numbs your bud. Your pain is in 2 places.1. Your vag. Needs less loving and some relief. Wiz down to sexyland and get one of those glass dildos. Chuck it in the freezer for an hour or 2. Now take it out and roll a condom on. Can't stick that thing in without something around it or it might stick. Very embarrassing down the ER. Reminds me of the chap that had the reverse problem. Playing the galah at a BBQ. Whipped out the old boy and laid it on the hot plate as a sausage. Trouble was, someone else turned it on a few minutes earlier. Stuck like shit to a shovel. Had to get the flipper to prize the thing off, just like a sausage. LOL. Slip the glass dildo in for a few minutes at a time and just feel that relief........... Careful though, every body is different so easy on.2. The other pain is in the head. You are getting on you know . In your ........40's. As per the previous posters here, you are at the cordial stage. Enjoy.Here's a catalogue. Strap on's........Yes you will need one soon. Part of it all. Called revenge. You need to progress to recovery stage. Read the ones above this and you will understand. Another few days with that glass dildo and you will be right to go. Although, a few days with it, you may not want to go out. Can be your new friend. Yes......you don't really need men. They are just a life support system for their dick you know........Good luck. Annie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsM' Who put the bop into he bop she bop she bop? MrM - Posted from rhpmobile Oh Dear.I can feel what you are going through. Been mushrooming myself. Down through the cow turds picking some freshies for breaky. You know they all look alike, the proper ones and the ones that you have obviously had. Don't worry. couple of days you'll be right for work.You know, the Fresh Vegie shop is your friend. Buy your mushrooms there. Until then, have a lay down. Good luckAnnie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
You know you want to come and lay on my couch............ Don't be shy. It will be a wonderful experience....... for both of us. Getting rid of that problem you have..........come on.......
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' I recently had a birthday, and decided that I couldn't possibly be that old (I put up with it for 2 whole days!) shudder!Much love Slutty in suburbia - Posted from rhpmobile I chanced on your profile last Friday whilst killing time before the end of the working week, it did mention it being your birthday. I wondered if that were so or that was your everyday profile,best wishes for the coming year young lady...
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RHP User
11 years ago
May I? You see i have a problem? You could say it's a big problem! I havn't eaten in over 4 days, and my work colleagues have told me I need to eat but I've just lost my appetite for some reason, I've been searching on google what could be the cause to no avail. Ever since i lost my instant forum posting, things are just not the same anymore? Can you help me.....? Regards, Lost without it
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you Jack 💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
I need your help. I've looked everywhere, checked the cupboards, peeked into all nooks and crannies (not the trannies mind you) and searched until I could search no more. Where is Wally?
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
It will be at the foot of the bed down where the sheets tuck in. In the folds. You probably finished in the throes and rolled over and went to sleep. Give it a wash. Bit of fluff around down there. Glad i could help. Annie xx
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tylannister
11 years ago
In the U.S., it's where's Waldo, not Wally. What? Did Aussie publishers think that was too suggestive?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am having trouble biting my tongue..what should I do ? Frayed
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RHP User
11 years ago
Bite me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Don't worry,I have found a nice bottom to bite instead 😘xxFreya
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Too late. Sit down on this stool beside me in the naughty corner. Dont worry about Meander, her cherry looks too moist... Its a case of doing as i say, not as i do you know. As has been evident today. As you know, im not one to bite my tongue either but i am learning to show some restraint but i never seem to have anyone nearby to shackle me up. You don't seem to be the type that would get riled up. But as i posted elsewhere today, yank a dogs chain often and hard and it will bite. Do you wear a collar Freya? I find it therapeutic. A nice lead and im very docile and obedient. But i need a nice bowl to lap my chardonnay from or a shiraz if the moment lends itself. l haven't tried a herbal tea from the dish but i might in the future. Thats what you need to do when that temptaion to snap comes. A nice tea and a lay down. Let me put the kettle on. Relax Freya.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do like a nice cuppa Lady Grey..or Arctic Fire if I am living dangerously..I can't wear a collar,makes me hyperventilate but I do have a lovely Sevres bowl to slurp from..ah that's better..now the mantra..I must not comment on that thread,I must not...zzzzzzzz.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' I am having trouble biting my tongue..what should I do ? Frayed Freya, suck it and see
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Ive booked you in for this afternoon. Just need to check your file........ See you soon.
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RHP User
11 years ago
My question is ancient and difficult. What is the correct answer to the Queston: "does my bum look big in this?" - Posted from rhpmobile
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Cazz61
11 years ago
Please help me!! I have been feeling very flat lately What is your advice in helping to get out of the rut I'm??? Flat Caz
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MsJonesy
11 years ago
oh actually, Annie you are included! .....Caz Contact the party girls and let's rock the town
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am on the horns of another dilemma..I want to party with the Melbourne Girls and still live in Queensland..what should I do xx Confused
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
I know you think you don't have a problem but come in and sit for a moment.Hanging around the counselors office when there is a distinct rule against it tells me there is a problem.I look no further than your name Jack Denials. Denial, denial. Bit like hanging around the pub when you say you don't drink. Deny it no longer Jack.Time to man up and come out with it.Are you gay? Are you bi? A crossdresser?Out with it man. It's okay, there's just you and me here. Come out........Your profile comes across as though you are a bit of a ladies man.Nicely written and a bit of thought gone into it. Perhaps a bit too much thought.Mr Nice man. It's too nice and caring to be a hetro profile surely. You could be a girls best friend with a profile like that.Not saying much are we.........Ok then. Off you go. Last warning though. Chuck any more comments around outside my office and you will be examined a little closer. Just be thankful I have a couple of people in the waiting room. Next time we might just discuss your marital status...... go....and be good. Annie xx. (Or were you hoping for 6 kisses?).........nice arse there......
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsM' My question is ancient and difficult. What is the correct answer to the Queston: "does my bum look big in this?" Come in and sit. Wish it was Mrs M. Love a bit of close up...... Not signed so by the question I think its Mr M. Age old question Mr M. Dates back further than when Jesus was a boy. You see, it started long before mirrors. Started in caveman times. You know when animal furs were the trend. Slap a bear skin around the midriff and what's that gonna do?You are so right. No flattery with a bear skin over your arse. And they had no mirrors to check themselves when Mrs Caveman got ready for a night on the dirt. Asked Mr Caveman "does my arse look big in this"Mr Caveman didn't know any better. He just remembers how hard it was to drag her arse to the cave by her hair so he just naturally said "yeah you have a big arse"The power of learning and it was the beginning of how the 2 sexes interacted. Did not take long to learn.Even when mirrors were invented. Why did that question never go away? Because it was a test. Answer honestly at your own peril Mr M.Or just chuck one back at her. "Compared to your tits, your arse looks tiny" There you have it. Answered with a compliment which drags away the attention from the fact that she may have a big arse. And you never actually answered the question and hence lied. The positive thinking of men.Bound to get a root later if played well. Got to have the right expression though. You know how good they are at that sort of thing.So will leave it with you to ponder. Never tell the truth but never lie. It's a balancing act for the mere male. Good luckAnnie xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'Cazz61' Please help me!! I have been feeling very flat lately What is your advice in helping to get out of the rut I'm??? Flat Caz My Sweet. Sit....No! Lay down on my couch.Been a few weeks since we last met. You were in high spirits then. A big night on the tiles.Was the high life of Melbourne a bit addictive? A little more active that the main street of your town I'm tipping......I think Kissk may have been right. the bright lights, lots of lovely people to meet......and stuff.My answer is simple. You need to come back for another blast. It's not that far for a weekend?Organize something......let the hair down. Get out of that RUT!! Ring Kissk!You need to get the sparkle back that I saw in your eyes and the smile, when we were standing in Spencer St................ You know what you need to do good luckAnnie xxxxxx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' I am on the horns of another dilemma..I want to party with the Melbourne Girls and still live in Queensland..what should I do xx Confused You seem a bit better since we last spoke. You must have had a good cup of tea.But to the question at hand.We do know how to party down here. It's probably the cold, we can't afford to stop moving. And lots of lovely men. Lots of lovely shoes too. I know of a place where they sell cheap Globe sneakers. I could take you there.......It's the most livable city in the world for god's sake. No wonder you want to come back!!Answer is simples. Contact Kissk. Contact me. Contact Caz. Contact everyone.....Book a flight.Seems maybe a post Melbourne Meet and Greet depression is setting in among attendees.Perhaps we need a mini one.Perhaps we will all need a new liver......... But tell me Freya.......did you meet someone down here..........is there a hidden agenda? Good luck gorgeous Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Any_Whichway' Dont worry about Meander, her cherry looks too moist... I covered it in olive oil to make it look all shiny for the photo. Shhh.
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