F56
Relationships - doesn't anyone want one anymore??
January 31 2011
Comments
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Sigmalonewolf
15 years ago
meeka, i think it goes dating, sex, start falling in love, relationship. your friends got to... dating, sex, not falling in love, but the sex is good so lets do that then.... i know that sounds simple but isn't it? matt
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RHP User
15 years ago
Nothing is simple with women Matt. Thought you would know that at 39. Has been interesting though. One of the girls is still seeing her guy and going through lots of angst. The guy texts her everyday but he didn't one day and she was so angry. See she said, all men just want one thing. Jeez - even I thought that was super harsh. But it has made me see some of my past behaviours in a new light and yes, sometimes I am a little nuts, and certainly my friend is definitely nuts. Still love her though.I should clarify - she really really really likes this guy. And that doesn't happen often that you get such good chemistry or connection and she is terrified that he will break her heart. xxM
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Sigmalonewolf
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Nothing is simple with women Matt. Thought you would know that at 39. Has been interesting though. One of the girls is still seeing her guy and going through lots of angst. The guy texts her everyday but he didn't one day and she was so angry. See she said, all men just want one thing. Jeez - even I thought that was super harsh. But it has made me see some of my past behaviours in a new light and yes, sometimes I am a little nuts, and certainly my friend is definitely nuts. Still love her though.I should clarify - she really really really likes this guy. And that doesn't happen often that you get such good chemistry or connection and she is terrified that he will break her heart. xxMwow, one day and she got angry?? did he not return a txt that she sent first? if she didnt send one first then that is really nuts! we can all go a little nuts when we REALLY like/ love someone but if she starts showing real signs of paranoia he may very well run a mile..... tell her to take a deep breath
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Nothing is simple with women Matt. Thought you would know that at 39. Has been interesting though. One of the girls is still seeing her guy and going through lots of angst. The guy texts her everyday but he didn't one day and she was so angry. See she said, all men just want one thing. Jeez - even I thought that was super harsh. But it has made me see some of my past behaviours in a new light and yes, sometimes I am a little nuts, and certainly my friend is definitely nuts. Still love her though.I should clarify - she really really really likes this guy. And that doesn't happen often that you get such good chemistry or connection and she is terrified that he will break her heart. xxM That's the chance you take with relationships, isn't it. There's always the chance that somebody'll wind up hurt. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. However, my reason for not wanting a relationship right now have nothing to do with having my heart ripped out and stomped on, and everything to do with my situation - I'm not a long-term proposition for anyone until I know where I stand with regards to certain things going on in my life, and I don't want to be a heartbreaker.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I've found less women want relationships these days regardless of age or experience.. been dating for a while, and can't seem to find one that hasn't got her eye out for the next best thing...i find there's usually a few guys on the go at once and we're all being traded off against each other ..dated from about 30-45rs old and I have to say i'm stunned at the dishonesty out there and where it emanates from.. very disheartening. and yes before anyone gets up in arms I know guys do it too. Not all of us though. I'm about at the point of giving up. Times have certainly changed.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Don't give up Brisguy - you will find the one. Ah - it is all so hard isn't it. I keep telling my friend to go with the flow and try to tell her that her expectations are probably not realistic or too high. I suppose she is just looking for any excuse at the moment to pull the pin because she is convinced he will break her heart. I am doing my best to try and get her to give this guy and this situation a chance. Not sure how much longer she will listen to me. I have also encouraged her to text him more and make some moves. But she doesn't want him to think she is over keen. Bloody hell - do we chicks over think every move. Yeap! xxxMeeks
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Sigmalonewolf
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Don't give up Brisguy - you will find the one. Ah - it is all so hard isn't it. I keep telling my friend to go with the flow and try to tell her that her expectations are probably not realistic or too high. I suppose she is just looking for any excuse at the moment to pull the pin because she is convinced he will break her heart. I am doing my best to try and get her to give this guy and this situation a chance. Not sure how much longer she will listen to me. I have also encouraged her to text him more and make some moves. But she doesn't want him to think she is over keen. Bloody hell - do we chicks over think every move. Yeap! xxxMeeks you mean she wants to have more control over the relationship than him or she isn't interested..... thats not love....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I have also encouraged her to text him more and make some moves. But she doesn't want him to think she is over keen. Oh.... See.. I used to think that way. I used to think... awwwhh if she really likes me she will do this or that.. and then I'd get disappointed when she didn't. Grovelling is good for the soul though. It makes you confront what it is you think you want from a person. Because I'm such an emotionless pig, I've discovered that grovelling actually costs me nothing but pride. So put it out there, wear your heart on your sleave, and live dangerously.... akuna matata.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Yeah you know Meeks I have to agree with the last two posters, at the end of the day we all expect too much based on our own paradigms of how WE are, and then project that onto whoever we're trying to date/hook/screw etc. Its destined for failure. The simplest and oldest and often best method, is simplly to lift yourself up and say in a clear an unambiguous fashion, what you want. Eg: "you know, I really like you, I have no desire to see anyone else, I'd like to spend more time with you and see where it goes, maybe form a relationship if we both feel that way. What do you think?" .But we fight, hold back, let anxiety and stress build, fearing we'll lose them or push them away or never find another one like them, or what ever it happens to be. Its all fear, and self esteem based. Today's society is all about throw away, and sadly that's spilled over into emotions and relationsihps. There's no trust out there any more, no commitment or willingness to really give it a go with someone. As for me Meeks, I'm 40 now, if it was going to happen, it should/would have by now..
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't know about other guys, but I have met girls with intentions of just a shag that I have liked so much that when it was all said and done I wanted more, and girls I have met with intentions of serious dating that after a few dates (and sometimes after the first shag) I find my interest just disappears. At the end of the day you need to connect on a few different levels for everything, and you don't know until after a few dates how well you connect. Sometimes you just need the sexual tension to clear to see it more clearly as well. Hard one to answer. Personally I would take love over a shag any day, but whether it is iin my own mind or just a bad run of girls I don't connect with, I can't find it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Never say never Brisguy. I am 40 too !! xx Meeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
still looking for relationship. Looks like it will not happen
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'brizsingleLogan4' still looking for relationship. Looks like it will not happen Don't be like that Brizsingle - it's not really that bad, enjoy the time you have to yourself. I know it sucks when you want someone to snuggle with on a lazy Sunday afternoon, but think of all the other times when it's nice not having someone around to be responsible too. :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'brizsingleLogan4'still looking for relationship. Looks like it will not happen How can you give up at 29? You have so much life left yet. At your age you should only just be beginning to think about home, hearth and the rugrats. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts.
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