F56
Relationships - doesn't anyone want one anymore??
January 31 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Meeka,Depends and awful lot on the guy's (mental) age. I think most guys take a long time to be able to distinguish 'lust' from 'puppy love' from 'the love it takes to sustain a committed relationship' (what do we call that ... love?).In other words, keeping the brain engaged is, I have found, really hard. For me, if I make love with a woman, I have invariably found myself in a relationship, whether its what I really wanted or not. Says a lot about my psychological makeup I suspect. And that is often the real trick for guys - knowing what they actually want. Because that takes a modicum of self-analysis and (god forbid) being in touch with your emotions! I know I am generalising terribly here, but I've thought about this a lot over the last decade, and it is my considered opinion.Men who put a lot of work into themselves and their emotional, psychological and, yes even spiritual, lives will know what they want, have good boundaries, be more fully expressive of their actual desires and hence be much much more attractive people generally (no matter their physical looks).So, to get back to your actual questions, getting your dick wet a few times is fine if that's what you want. But for god sake be up-front about it! I tell every woman I know (at the moment) that I am in no way looking for a relationship and that I know I can't sustain one right now. But that doesn't mean we can't enjoy each other and have wonderful consensual sex.If that's not suitable for them, then they have a choice to make up front, and that's fine, that's important!If the nsa experience happens, is good, and is even perhaps repeated, then there is always the potential to re-evaluate.Alex :-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
A lot of guys will lead you down the garden path till they have had their fill of you, provided you don't pull the plug first.Unfortunately there is no real way to test their real interest in you, except maybe the old three date rule.Then again if your just up for some hanky panky I guess it is pointless to test his level of interest, if its going to amount to anything more it still will.The Chicken or the egg, If your the girl that kicks his tyres and lights his fires, it won't much matter whether he was in the market for the big "R" o r not, he will just want to be with you regardless! otherwise I guess he just wasn't that into you.Cheers Nev
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RHP User
15 years ago
ok. so .. guys just want the preview.. and then they want to try the next bed.. and the next one.. MOST MEN anyway. But there are a select few out there!! But im guessing most of them are too shy to try. Good luck finding one. ;) I'm trying to get my man on . but i'm having no luck with it. :P not man enough for casual flings..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Oh Meeka youre not cynical at all - just an optimist... . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think nobody can plan to fall in love, it just happens as a happy accident. So there's no need to force the issue and intelectualising it doesn't change a thing. If you want a handbag go and buy one. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Once upon a time women were considered property and passed from father to husband along with appropriate amounts of cattle and pounds of gold. These days after six or so months of regular sex just about any woman can make claim to 50% of a man's cattle and pounds of gold herself. Until she gets older and goes for broke toy boys who take their share in a similar manner - thus the universe balances - the young get richer and the old get poorer - but they will die soon anyway. Only a small percentable of people you meet have the personality you can live with for years - how many of your relatives and friends could you share a house with without resorting to domestic violence after a few weeks. I think it is easier to find a face and body pretty enough to have sex with ( and the prettier and more charming you are the easier this is) - than it is to find someone you want to have sex with and wake up to day after day after day. Thankfully the universe created love we we could have temporary insanity long enough to become comitted to each other. Although with birth control the biggest reasons for comittment are avoided most of the time. Truth is that sex is way better with someone you truely care about but even hate sex can provide an orgasm. (only if you do it right though)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi Meeka, I've recently joined a more "traditional" online site after recommendations from my RHP friends that I was never going to find a relationship here and needed to look elsewhere. After 2 days I blocked my profile (on the new site). I was inundated and blown away by some of the eager men looking for love ! After chatting online to one guy, he emailed me outlining his plans for our "relationship" ! It went something like, "I thought we could start by seeing each other 3 or 4 times a week and then increase it from there" ! I responded with, "perhaps we could meet for a drink first" ? This wasn't the only guy. I've had several who have stated via chat they are "one woman only" guys and that sex wasn't as important as love. Just hearing all this stuff has scared me away. At least on RHP I know the type of guys I'm getting. I'm sure there's some high sex driven, gorgeous, intelligent men on here.... who want a little more than casual sex. Hugs, Saturn
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Miss_Saturn' Hi Meeka, I've recently joined a more "traditional" online site after recommendations from my RHP friends that I was never going to find a relationship here and needed to look elsewhere. After 2 days I blocked my profile (on the new site). I was inundated and blown away by some of the eager men looking for love ! After chatting online to one guy, he emailed me outlining his plans for our "relationship" ! It went something like, "I thought we could start by seeing each other 3 or 4 times a week and then increase it from there" ! I responded with, "perhaps we could meet for a drink first" ? This wasn't the only guy. I've had several who have stated via chat they are "one woman only" guys and that sex wasn't as important as love. Just hearing all this stuff has scared me away. At least on RHP I know the type of guys I'm getting. I'm sure there's some high sex driven, gorgeous, intelligent men on here.... who want a little more than casual sex. Hugs, Saturn Well all the fairy floss sounds like bullshit to me. Dudes just trying to say what they think women want to hear. It's truly pathetic, desperate and repulsive. I'd root myself first. Fair dinkum.. wimpy whiny dudes... I feel a little sick after reading that.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Oh yeah?
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RHP User
15 years ago
but wanted to respond to miss_saturn`s comment...it`s a lot easier to weed out the fruitcakes on here than it is on a normal dating site...I`ve been on a major one for 1.5 years now and can count on one hand the number of nice, normal (ish) guys that I`ve met. The rest? Oh god... wait for the book... (yeah I`m serious, if you want go look up my profile on it, same nick, there`s a list of `don`t contact me if...`s`, they`ve all happened... and you can add `don`t bother coming on a date if you`ve got hickies from a date on thurs night... especially if you`re gonna sit there and text the girl in front of me and tell me about it...`)Here, if some guy has `69` or `boobz` or something equally as stupid in his nick, you can pretty much write him off as a wanker. If the profile is stock standard copied and pasted, tyre kicker. No previous contact, flirt with `when and where?` - bugger off mate.The guys I have met up with from here? Most have been awesome... absolutely awesome. There`s been the odd `meh` moment, but we`re talking 80% strike rate, vs 5% off other sites. The one guy I`d be quite happy to date? is from here as well... I hate to go back to the whole `why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free` thing, but i think there`s definitely a thing about dating vs having good sex regularly... maybe it`s a difference in priorities??
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RHP User
15 years ago
I love handbags - and shoes. OMG Stalky tell me you didn't go wild about all that Italian leather! On a more serious note - ok so no one plans to fall in love that is true. And this is an old argument of mine if you continue to see each other for a long period of time - I guess a girl usually wants to know will this go somewhere IF she feels something for the guy or realises that she is falling for him. If she isn't falling for him and it she is happy with a FB situation she doesn't ask the question. Guys can some how sleep with women months on end and never get emotionally involved at all. So girls are just trying to protect their hearts that's all. And can I say Stalky that is a typical male comment. Not all women over intelectualising (ok I admit to you that is a huge fat lie. We are our own worst enemy - but I only admit that to you) we just want to know would you be open to that possiblity or not. Cause if I am half in love with you now there is no point continuing on because you are going break my heart. Isn't that a fair question? xxx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Miss_Saturn I know I said I would go & join that other vanilla dating site - but I just can't be bothered. So glad you said that. Now I don't feel so bad. xxx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think at some stage! We need to look at the bigger picture! xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I work in a small office with 8 women. Today the CEO called us in to make a huge announce which effects everyone. It was a significant decision. Then we all went around the room to express our feelings and how do we feel about it and are we okay. Got to love women. LOL.. xxx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Come on now...I think we all know that this is a sex site and that men are genetically incapable of making commitments or wanting to seek out a committed, long term or maybe even an old fashioned life time relationship. We just want to hook up with you, wax our candle a few times, say thanks and move on. So what? | There...my shot at being a cynic. How did I do? | I actually find this site quite refreshing (yes, that too) and just changed my profile a bit...referring to myself as an "epicurean hedonist". I enjoy all things sensual and sexual...and of course, as we all do, have the right to say yes or no according to our tastes. If I meet someone from here say, for drinks...and the green lights come on for us both, I doubt either are going to step back and say "oh, let's wait until we meet again". That's just one of the many reasons I am here...a bit more honesty than having someone plan the next 10 years of my life in advance of the first encounter. | That said, I also understand and truly enjoy the more intimate benefits with friends...those too can be on many different levels. And as Stalky said...love happens, and if the magic is there I would happily close the gate behind us and never look back. Damn...I hate sodium pentathol even when it's administered online. | I am not here really looking for or expecting romantic love but if I found it...why would I run from it? Anything is possible and I never say never. It's like anything else, if you really start to look for something and can't find it when you want it...then it can get pretty frustrating and maybe even stop you from finding what just may be right in front of you. Ever notice that when you are looking for something... | ...you always find it in the very last place you look. | ...and if this post lands where it should, I will be lookiing right up under Miss Saturn's dress. Nice view!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sorry about my spelling and I seem to be cutting words in half. So annoying...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well ive worked out that its always the nice guy that comes last and alot of people would have to agree. Women are always lookin for that guy who stands out in the crowd the nice ones are those who are hiddin in the background!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ninjasvspirates - I understand what you are saying but I can count on one hand the amount of profiles I have looked at that say that they would be open to a something more in the right circumstances. So I can't tell my girlfriends to join an adult dating site cause they would be horrified. They want something steady instead of meaningless sex which is what they think these sites are about. xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
A guy who is not desperate for a relationship is much the same as a woman who is not desperate for a relationship. You have a physical attraction, you go out a couple of times, there may or may not be sex involved, then, if you find there's not much else there, you move on.It's no great "lets pretend we want a relationship so we can get laid" conspiracy. If the guys your friends have been seeing actually thought there was a future with them, I guarantee they would be hanging around and not bringing up the FWB term."Guys can some how sleep with women months on end and never get emotionally involved at all."Women can do this as well, very well in fact. I think some people just want so much to have the whole kit and kaboodle they force themselves into being "in love" with people who aren't in the mood to reciprocate.Ahh, what do I know? I'm pretty much over meaningless "no strings" encounters, but I don't want a relationship, so I've stopped meeting new people altogether. Heh.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Sorry about my spelling and I seem to be cutting words in half. So annoying... Since I can not type, I am quoting Meeka here to feel like I am in good company. I always knew I would eventually commit RHP suicide by revealing my sensative side, but I am going forward with this post, anyway. I have never 'hooked up' with anyone from this site or any other, and I have not had a 'casual' relationship in almost 20 years, so I do not really know if I qualify as an expert (ok, I know that I do not). Still, I think keeping options open in any meeting makes the most sense. In other words, and returning to Meeka's original question: Yes, I think I would have a relationship if the girl was right. I would want to keep that possiblity open, because it is not everyday that the right girl does come around. It would be a shame to be closed off to it when it did happen. The best sex I have ever had has always been in the context of a relationship, and for me, the personal, intimate connection is what makes it all so fulfilling. I am not opposed to casual sex, don't get me wrong. I just find more fulfillment in the sex that is surrounded by possiblities. I guess the short version is I am not yet done with relationships...I am actually seeking them. I hope this all makes sense.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Let me be the devils advocate here for second... on the contrary, have we thought of how many times us girls have given guys the "sorry, I am just not that into you" excuse after a few dates??? Of course not all sexul encounters lead women to want a relationship, and its not just the guys making the decision to end or extend to the big R.... I think the simple answer is (for most people, without some kind of anti-R baggage)that a relationship will generally happen when two factors are met for both parties - right person, right time..... Bingo!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Myself...but not arrogantly' ...and if this post lands where it should, I will be lookiing right up under Miss Saturn's dress. Nice view! Dang...slow post, but I did end up right under Meeka's cute little butt. That view isn't bad either and uh-oh, my head is gone? Hey wait...I had a Cohiba in my mouth. Oh nooooo, Meeka I'm sorry... | ...can I have my cigar back?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'here_n_now'Well ive worked out that its always the nice guy that comes last and alot of people would have to agree. Women are always lookin for that guy who stands out in the crowd the nice ones are those who are hiddin in the background!! that 'nice guy' hides behind the 'nice guys finish last' schtick as an excuse for repeatedly picking the girls who are really not all that nice and acting like it's the girls' fault he's getting nowhere.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I love handbags - and shoes. OMG Stalky tell me you didn't go wild about all that Italian leather! On a more serious note - ok so no one plans to fall in love that is true. And this is an old argument of mine if you continue to see each other for a long period of time - I guess a girl usually wants to know will this go somewhere IF she feels something for the guy or realises that she is falling for him. If she isn't falling for him and it she is happy with a FB situation she doesn't ask the question. Guys can some how sleep with women months on end and never get emotionally involved at all. So girls are just trying to protect their hearts that's all. And can I say Stalky that is a typical male comment. Not all women over intelectualising (ok I admit to you that is a huge fat lie. We are our own worst enemy - but I only admit that to you) we just want to know would you be open to that possiblity or not. Cause if I am half in love with you now there is no point continuing on because you are going break my heart. Isn't that a fair question? xxx Meeka Meeks.. I bought some cashmere lined leather gloves in Florence... wonderful, warm and soft. There's so much leather there and I really could have got anything I wanted made... but it was too bloody cold to strip off and try things on... hehe.Your question is fair and I think that guys obviously suffer from the same fears... we've all been there to some extent and do not like that dark lonely place where our hearts and hopes are cut like a knife to butter. As for falling on love over a long period of time... love by accretion.... I think that's more likely to be the attraction to familiarity, complacency and comfort ...and you might get grief is at the loss of that routine.... I don't think that is the same as being love struck and heart broken. Many marriages are based on that comfort. Some cultures even arrange marriages for their children knowing that kind of love will eventuate by accretion.I don't have answers... I am just reserved to let the inevitable happen if it is going to because no measure of forcing will enable or prevent it. The world is full of happy accidents and every day I see the sun comes up there's another one.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Boring_Name' A guy who is not desperate for a relationship is much the same as a woman who is not desperate for a relationship. You have a physical attraction, you go out a couple of times, there may or may not be sex involved, then, if you find there's not much else there, you move on.It's no great "lets pretend we want a relationship so we can get laid" conspiracy. If the guys your friends have been seeing actually thought there was a future with them, I guarantee they would be hanging around and not bringing up the FWB term."Guys can some how sleep with women months on end and never get emotionally involved at all."Women can do this as well, very well in fact. I think some people just want so much to have the whole kit and kaboodle they force themselves into being "in love" with people who aren't in the mood to reciprocate. Here's cheers to home truths.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
I've just come from a relationship of 18 months where the L-word was common and there were some very concrete dreams for the future. It was completely monogamous and though the sex wasn't always the best, from my perspective, it was making love. It's not that I have "issues" because of that and other relationships that didn't turn out, it's that I want some time away from that all with some so-strings-attached fun. (Although, I did see one profile that made me go "hmmm" ). I'm not looking for a relationship with sexual partners because neither am I looking for a relationship with anyone or anywhere else. Just not yet, anyway. Is that so wrong? *puppy-dog eyes*
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RHP User
15 years ago
The delayed bulk posting absolutely trashed out that lame attempt at humor. Never mind......I found my Cohiba!
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RHP User
15 years ago
How could anyone deny Meeka .. she is just Too Hot ..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Quoting 'Miss_Saturn' Hi Meeka, I've recently joined a more "traditional" online site after recommendations from my RHP friends that I was never going to find a relationship here and needed to look elsewhere. After 2 days I blocked my profile (on the new site). I was inundated and blown away by some of the eager men looking for love ! After chatting online to one guy, he emailed me outlining his plans for our "relationship" ! It went something like, "I thought we could start by seeing each other 3 or 4 times a week and then increase it from there" ! I responded with, "perhaps we could meet for a drink first" ? This wasn't the only guy. I've had several who have stated via chat they are "one woman only" guys and that sex wasn't as important as love. Just hearing all this stuff has scared me away. At least on RHP I know the type of guys I'm getting. I'm sure there's some high sex driven, gorgeous, intelligent men on here.... who want a little more than casual sex. Hugs, Saturn Well all the fairy floss sounds like bullshit to me. Dudes just trying to say what they think women want to hear. It's truly pathetic, desperate and repulsive. I'd root myself first. Fair dinkum.. wimpy whiny dudes... I feel a little sick after reading that.HugsStalkyBeen on one of those sites myself. Sounds like BS to me. Guys can and do say whatever they think the girl wants to hear.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Has anyone been speed dating. Now that is scary! For a while I was being dragged to these events by a few girlfriends who where older than me so was speed dating with men in their late 40'sIt was like being in an interview. They ALL wanted marriage as they were all divorced with teenage kids. Guess they were missing the companionship and regualar sex and someone to cook and clean for them.And they were sometimes the questions I would get - do I like cooking, am I house proud, etc. Sheesh - no but I give great head jobs I said. LOL. No I didn't I played the nice girl that I am.So I understand where Miss_Saturn is coming from with men (& women) who are desparate to find a wife / husband or full on relationship. But alas none of them wanted any more children - which I still haven't totally given up on. Gee - I better get a hurry on - tick tock baby!!!!! xx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Do you think it is selfish to want to start a family at 40? xxxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Indeed this is tricky terrain, I mean there are so many different type of people in this world with so many different degrees of baggage, or life experience (or call it what yo will), but ultimately many would claim to be looking for or open to a relationship. To some extent i agree with Boring Name and Stalky. It is a lot simpler than its often made out to be - I agree and so often people, I find, claim to be seeking things which in the end, they truly aren't, but at the same time i think that we need to be looking to the middle ground rather than focusing at the margins. Clearly Miss Satrun's mega desperado experience is either someone who hasn't had any sort of female (or just human, even) interaction since he was admitted to the mental hospital OR is someone who is delusional in their comedic qualities....I mean really as if this person characterises the average man....purlease! Likewise, as if the cliche'd try hard bedpost notcher who disseminates photos of his cock throughout RHP, like pollen in a breeze, is typical of the broader male population (I hope that I'm not being overly optimistic here - but i don't think i am). Love - as Stalky said - is a random thing, as is attraction, albeit to a lesser extent but in the modern post feminist, internet broadened and more sexually open world, i tend to think generally people are less prepared to settle, when there is always the chance of finding something better through the next click, so to speak. This has its up and down sides and perhaps means that our view of relationships will change over time to better reflect this. Relationships as you are talking about Meeka, happen every day - 2008 saw 118,756 marriages in Australia, (Thanks Google!) - and they all started as relationships, so there is some hope for your friends lol. ME?... I view relationships as a series of mutually satisfying interactions which continue over time and grow in both satisfaction and intensity - if the satisfaction stays then the relationship develops, Whatever it turns into in the long run. 2b :) NTS: Maybe I'm back...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Do you think it is selfish to want to start a family at 40? xxxMeeksPlenty of women start thier family at that age. I was pretty close to it when I had my last child. You do have less of a chance of actually getting pregnant at this age and also an increased risk of a baby with downs syndrome but it is not selfish .....No.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Its a free country Meeka, we don't have the freedoms we once had, but thats another story. Of course there are many practical decisions to be made, and your life will never be the same again....Everything becomes so complicated, .and your sanity will slowly ebb away, Especially if your flying solo.Personally I would be concerned about having a child at your age, not to forget that when your son/daughter....or twins...lol.... are twenty, you will be sixty! You may miss out on so much of their lives, but then there are no guarantees in life either. On the upside, they do tend to keep your outlook young. Is it worth it? You bet!!! Especially if you have a loving supportive father to share the load and revel in all the little and big milestones. Absolutely the highest and most rewarding achievment two humans can aspire to.Cheers Nev.......mine were so cute when they were young.....and asleep!.......and then they turn into teenagers...lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Your question is fair and I think that guys obviously suffer from the same fears... we've all been there to some extent and do not like that dark lonely place where our hearts and hopes are cut like a knife to butter. As for falling on love over a long period of time... love by accretion.... I think that's more likely to be the attraction to familiarity, complacency and comfort ...and you might get grief is at the loss of that routine.... I don't think that is the same as being love struck and heart broken. Many marriages are based on that comfort. Some cultures even arrange marriages for their children knowing that kind of love will eventuate by accretion.I don't have answers... I am just reserved to let the inevitable happen if it is going to because no measure of forcing will enable or prevent it. The world is full of happy accidents and every day I see the sun comes up there's another one.HugsStalky So true... . There are a lot of good responses here. . It's blinkered and overly simplistic to imply there is something wrong with men because your (Meeks) friends keep finding three-time rooters. Where do they find these men? Is it the same place or source? Are they using the same bit of bait in the same river? And they catch the same fish?? Wow... who'd think. I read somewhere reliable (prob the internet) that many people's relationships fail repeatedly because they are looking for someone 'different to the last one' in the same place. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and wanting a different result. Just a thought. . I think 'looking for a relationship' is dangerous. I have countless friends... well three.. and they have married their best friends sister... Stalko has a fancy word for it.. but I figure these relationships begins because of accessibility... you get to know each other... and after a while go "Hey... this guy / gal isn't bad relationship material... he/she doesn't beat me, he/she gives ok head, has an ok job, and we share (or compromise) on each others interests" "We should be a couple - why shouldn't we?" Maybe if we hang around long enough we'll fall in love. . "Tell me boys - what is the truth of the situation? When do you decide that you want a relationship? What comes first the girl or the decision that you want a steady girl? " Love happens by accident. It's sometimes hard to see because lust, dust and 'new' can make it hard to see... and we base our definition of love on the last time we felt love because that's all we know. We can't be taught what love feels like... it's one of those cool things that only YOU know.. but really don't. So I guess the answer for me is "The girl". If you make the decision you want a relationship you'll take anyone that fits what you think is the bill and meets everyones approval and try to mould the two of you into a couple. Sometimes you fit the mould... sometimes you;re pushing, stretching or contorting one of you too much. Your friends should be thankful that they have sorted the dregs from the imported beer and only committed three roots to it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Do you think it is selfish to want to start a family at 40? xxxMeeks Isn't 40 the new 20? One of my colleagues is nudging 50 and his sons are 6 and 8. I haven't met his wife but I think she is a fair bit younger.. like mid-30's maybe. They are pretty well set up financially and seem to have a great family life (I've never seen him with a black eye or anything)... There would be advantages and disadvantages to starting at 40... practical ones, I'm ignoring physological or down syndromes ones... but there are advantages and disadvantages to starting at 20 too. Probably another topic in itself.. what age do you hang up the ovaries? . Look at you Meeks... you score a threesome and a squirt and all of a sudden want to settle down and make babies :D
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RHP User
15 years ago
What are you saying I am a greedy girl and want it all. Yeah I suppose I do. One question I have for you based on your comment - "and we base our definition of love on the last time we felt love because that's all we know. We can't be taught what love feels like... it's one of those cool things that only YOU know.. but really don't. "That is a confusing statement. What does love feel like or what is love? I remember this question from last year - and everyone did answer it differently.But isn't love when you want to put that other person and their happiness first before yourself?
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RHP User
15 years ago
I do agree that women can also sleep with someone for a long time and not getting involved - I have had FB's in the past sometimes up to a year and never felt like I wanted more. However, from what a lot of women say it can be harder for a women to keep that emotional balance in place. I understand what everyone has said & of course you can't plan to fall in love or force the issue. We all know that. It just seems to me that alot of men make the decision that "No I don't want a relationship" so they don't have one regardless of who they meet. Then when they decided that yes they want a relationship somehow within 6 mths they have found the love of their life. Exaggerating but you get me meaning.I think it is clear that I am no expert on men - but I guess my original question was saying that it appears to me that a man can make a conscious decision about what he wants at the outset and that it that. Ok slam me - I am talking bollocks now. lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't see this site as all that much different from a more vanilla site, just that the content is more x-rated. People are still looking for people, some for FWB, some for something more committed or long-term, some for just a quick roll in the hay. I once had a profile on one of those vanilla sites, and ended up having a rather eye-opening experience that resulted in my closing my account. At the same time, I had met a few nice people online. Speaking for myself, at this point in my life I fall into the category of not wanting a relationship, which is due to my personal circumstances and nothing else. I'm currently separated pending divorce, and whilst I don't miss the ex, I do miss the marriage. It gets kinda lonely at times with just me and the kids, and I'd like nothing better than to have someone to come home to and all the soppy stuff that goes along with it, but to get involved in something like that right now would be completely unfair to the other party and my kids. Besides which, I've already picked the next Mrs RCflyer69.......it's just a matter of her realising that I'm Mr Right..lol! Oh, and just for the record, Ninjavspirates, the "69" in my handle refers to my year of birth, not my predilection for partaking in the sexual act of the same name.. :-P (OK, I admit I'm a tosser at times!)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' It just seems to me that alot of men make the decision that "No I don't want a relationship" so they don't have one regardless of who they meet. a) I dare to say that there are plenty of men and women who don't want to admit that they push lovers away for no other reason than fear. They don't want a relationship they say.... and this conclusion is often derived out of being stung bad. Who wants to become emotionally attached and then hurt? Line up... line up.... Not me thankyou. b) True it's not kewl to think that way.... so brave men jump headfirst at the chance and often come out feeling....... feeling rooted three times (thanks Jean)... they get up and do it again... almost like belting yourself in the forehead with a cricket bat... or nailing your testicles to a breadboard. It's an invisible form of BDSM damn it, but it's mainstream. I dare say most of the single dating men fall into this sector and are snavelled up like shrimp by the hungry hoards of sharking women, devoured and expelled like turds at the first sign of a bad credit rating.c) Others simply don't like taking on the responsibility for someone else's happiness.... of course a thinking man will say that it's up to us as individuals to find our own happiness.. but some people just don't get that and are relationship dependents... they're fun sponges... they want me to sit around and feather a nest while my friends are out at the partaay? Oh no thanks. That doesn't sound like much fun.... the thoughts of a younger man.... then ....d) there's the more mature man (read desperate dirty old man ~ yeah, someone almost like me.. just not so married) ... and the red wine sipping museum type guy... and the pretentious prick.... you want to avoid all of these for any relationship other than platonic. They're useful because they'll give you stuff... (in my case, you may or may not appreciate the gift)e) Other dudes.... the wimpy snivellers and so on... make great pets. Keep one or two of them on a string until you find true love!f) Baby makers.... apparently plenty of sisters are doing it for themselves and very nicely too... although since the vasectomy I am now of limited practical use.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Do you think it is selfish to want to start a family at 40? Having a child is by far the most satisfying thing that I've ever done. If I didn't already have my lovely little girl but knew how fulfilling it is, I'd start a family at 90. As it is, I'm facing the snip as I wouldn't start a second family at my age - unless you're planning to go it alone, that's a circumstance that may hamper your efforts to find an appropriate partner.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'One question I have for you based on your comment - "and we base our definition of love on the last time we felt love because that's all we know. We can't be taught what love feels like... it's one of those cool things that only YOU know.. but really don't. "That is a confusing statement. What does love feel like or what is love? I remember this question from last year - and everyone did answer it differently.But isn't love when you want to put that other person and their happiness first before yourself? . It's a confusing statement because it's a confusing emotion and everyone's view on love is shaped by their experience or inexperience and, for some, soppy Meg Ryan movies. Many times you think you feel love, only to find that in your next relationship there is a more powerful completely different love. Does that mean you didn't feel love in your earlier relationship? That you felt what you thought was love because you wanted to? . Love comes in so many forms too. I know we're talking about the love between two lovers. But you can't dismiss the love you have for a dog, your parents, siblings or children as being 'different' and less worthy. . Someone wise and messy once explained polyamory by saying "Yes I can love two people, don't people love both of their kids?" or words to that effect. It made me rethink the whole 'love' thing. . I can't even define what I think love is. I think it has to do with the connection between two people... which is why it works at levels from your pet through to your lover.. But I don't have set criteria that tells me I am in love with someone.. I leave that for Dolly Dr. I just feel in love with them. . I don't agree with your description of love... does that mean you are wrong? Probably, but I won't hold it against you :-D I think if love is putting someone elses happiness before yourself you are putting difficult expectations on yourself and your lover... even if you WANT and enjoy putting someone elses happiness first. For me love is a connection that occurs mutually, spontaneously and requires no effort. Sounds lazy, but I'm not saying the relationship between those two people requires no effort, I'm saying the connection doesn't. . Having re-read this, it is no less confusing than when I started... so I stand by my first comment. Love is confusing and maybe indefinable, and maybe that's all I should have said.
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RHP User
15 years ago
of a post I put up last year. I think men are really in charge of commencing a relationship. For me, I wasn't interested in one until maybe late last year and although nothing has happened, if the right person cam along I would be in a relationship with bells on and both feet in. BUT, I think alot of stars have to align. If they dont, a moment in time has passed. Seems a shame really. I am no angel and have had a few one night encounters, and for some reason or another neither followed up each other. I have been known not to give my phone number as I dont want the annoying follow up messages. A little cruel I know. That part I am not proud of. RHP and other sites all have the same crazies, but there are some us sane people around. Might be why I cant be bothered with other sites. Not sure if they have forums like these and enjoy the discussions that are raised. Dont anyone give up on what they want and dont settle for just average. Cheers
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' But isn't love when you want to put that other person and their happiness first before yourself? That's probbaly one of the symptoms... but heroic people have done that for complete strangers. I quite like Jeanza's definition because I think our understanding of love is based on personal trial and error, and the meaning has something different to offer each of us... and I have to agree with the idea that "love is a connection that occurs spontaneously and requires no effort." HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
I personally dont think that guys are looking for relationships not when there is so much choice around,from my experiences its use them and move on sad i know but its just whats happened to me.Im starting to think that looking for love on the net very rarely works,only my opinion and not anyone elses just clearing that up before i get upped :P lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
I, like Miss Saturn, turned to regular dating sites in the hope that I would find someone special...only to find that those guys just don't have what it takes either! In the end I closed my profiles down and have come back to RHP, because on the whole, even if I'm not after one-offs these days, I'd rather meet men who know the score and have that naughty glint in their eye, than some desperate (or worse, controlling) single father who wants a ready-made housekeeper/Mum. So many other sites have members for whom sex isn't that important, or they don't expect it to be because they're middle aged and expect me to be over it all too...but for me it is HUGELY important. Of course, I want love, romance, hearts and flowers, violins playing in the background, yada yada, but I also need some often filthy, raw passion too. RHP is where it's at, for me. Like attracts like, so I'm praying that some day soon a prince will come for this princess.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'cuddlyv' I personally dont think that guys are looking for relationships not when there is so much choice around,from my experiences its use them and move on sad i know but its just whats happened to me.Im starting to think that looking for love on the net very rarely works,only my opinion and not anyone elses just clearing that up before i get upped :P lol OK I'll bight... (ok.. more like a nibble)... you seem to be suggesting that there is a man drought with all that choice around.... but here in RHP land.... the numbers are something like.... 10 ~1 against the guys... unless you happen to like guys. I'm sorry to hear that you feel used, however, the dude may have decided that he was just not that into you... or some other heart breaking reason...Say NEXT! You have to stop using sex as a honey trap if that's the way you feel about it.... seriously.. sex should be perceived is a sharing and caring experience, and not just some kind of bribe to get someone to do what you want them to.... this honey trap is generally only a woman's game... (see what I did there... blame women for their own disappointment in mankind) but once you accept wholeheartedly the concept that sex is not a carrot stick to be dangled, your dissapointment should be replaced with a more forgiving (and perhaps more attractive) happy go lucky approach to dating and relationships.Of course, what would I know. I've never been heart broken.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting '40DeeD' I, like Miss Saturn, turned to regular dating sites in the hope that I would find someone special...only to find that those guys just don't have what it takes either! In the end I closed my profiles down and have come back to RHP, because on the whole, even if I'm not after one-offs these days, I'd rather meet men who know the score and have that naughty glint in their eye, than some desperate (or worse, controlling) single father who wants a ready-made housekeeper/Mum. So many other sites have members for whom sex isn't that important, or they don't expect it to be because they're middle aged and expect me to be over it all too...but for me it is HUGELY important. Of course, I want love, romance, hearts and flowers, violins playing in the background, yada yada, but I also need some often filthy, raw passion too. RHP is where it's at, for me. Like attracts like, so I'm praying that some day soon a prince will come for this princess. Yep. Don't over think it and simply let the relationship find you. While you're waiting only ever do what you enjoy or want to do... do what you like doing. People capable of making their own fun are attractive companions! No expectations = no disappointments.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Would anyone "Up" you Cuddly, your opinion and experiences are just as valid as anyone else's. Personally my opinion is that when the right one comes along, and you find yourself mesmerised and wanting to spend every minute with them now and forever and they feel the same, then more than likely it will result in a relationship, regardless of anything else.Cheers Nev....sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs first.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' & JG and I have to agree with the idea that "love is a connection that occurs spontaneously and requires no effort." Agree with that as well.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' & JG and I have to agree with the idea that "love is a connection that occurs spontaneously and requires no effort." Agree with that as well.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting '40DeeD' So many other sites have members for whom sex isn't that important, or they don't expect it to be because they're middle aged and expect me to be over it all too...but for me it is HUGELY important. Of course, I want love, romance, hearts and flowers, violins playing in the background, yada yada, but I also need some often filthy, raw passion too. RHP is where it's at, for me. Like attracts like, so I'm praying that some day soon a prince will come for this princess. Agree 40DeeD - well said. Unfortunately we have to blow alot of frogs before we find our prince. xx Meeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Quoting 'cuddlyv' I personally dont think that guys are looking for relationships not when there is so much choice around,from my experiences its use them and move on sad i know but its just whats happened to me.Im starting to think that looking for love on the net very rarely works,only my opinion and not anyone elses just clearing that up before i get upped :P lol OK I'll bight... (ok.. more like a nibble)... you seem to be suggesting that there is a man drought with all that choice around.... but here in RHP land.... the numbers are something like.... 10 ~1 against the guys... unless you happen to like guys. I'm sorry to hear that you feel used, however, the dude may have decided that he was just not that into you... or some other heart breaking reason...Say NEXT! You have to stop using sex as a honey trap if that's the way you feel about it.... seriously.. sex should be perceived is a sharing and caring experience, and not just some kind of bribe to get someone to do what you want them to.... this honey trap is generally only a woman's game... (see what I did there... blame women for their own disappointment in mankind) but once you accept wholeheartedly the concept that sex is not a carrot stick to be dangled, your dissapointment should be replaced with a more forgiving (and perhaps more attractive) happy go lucky approach to dating and relationships.Of course, what would I know. I've never been heart broken.HugsStalky what is with you and honey traps? I don't believe that cuddlyv even suggests that she is using sex to trap a man. I'd have to say it was the other way ACTUALLY women do view sex as a caring and sharing experience whereas men - well I don't think they see it that way as much as a chick. Now I vaguley remember a thread from many moons ago involving your arse and honey........ I will bring a jar (the one with the nozzel ) on Saturday.
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RHP User
15 years ago
As for children - thanks for everyones input there. I guess I always assumed I would have kids one day - to be honest I still think that yeah I will have kids one day. But something happened recently, I woke up and suddenly I was 40! How the hell did that happen? Truth be told I can appreciate kids are very rewarding and I think I would make a good mother. Even if I do say so myself. But I don't actually feel as if I am missing out anything by not having children either. Carlos & Snowshoe - I would NEVER choose to be a single mother. No way!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Just wanted to stop following this thread! Just came online and there are about a half dozen pics of Meeka's butt there. Not that I mind, Meeka...it's just that coming online could really mess up my very expensive monitor! | EEWWWW.
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RHP User
15 years ago
that may be true.. but we dont want the boring guy hiding in the background.. we need excitement too ..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Just wanted to stop following this thread! Just came online and there are about a half dozen pics of Meeka's butt there. Not that I mind, Meeka...it's just that coming online could really mess up my very expensive monitor! | EEWWWW. Funny Chasing
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RHP User
15 years ago
The words "use them and move on" imply the old root and run. The complaint being that the minute a woman puts out, the guy runs.... the implication being that women put out to try stop him from running.... vis vis the honey trap. I mean, if you don't want to have sex with the dude then don't.... and if you want to then do.... that way you cannot say that you have been "used". He owes you nothing. You owe him nothing. If you apply a debt to it... you'll be disapointed. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
What ?- implication that she puts out to stop him running? I don't get those games Stalky. I fuck who I want to fuck when I want to fuck them. Has noting to do with keeping a man or making him stay.Quite frankly they are damn lucky I give them the time of day. heheheheheI don't like games Stalky - that is why I probably piss guys off becuase I want to know things up front - I like to be totally honest. Cause I just don't see the point in lying. But that's just me. (o)(o) Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think I understand your comments - I guess I just dont see sex that way really. I think girls are taught that aren't they, maybe not these days, but certainly in the past that you have to hold out for marriage or until the 10th date or whatever. Cause he won't respect you or take you seriously. We are taught to use it as weapon or something we should barter with. you are lucky Stalky that you don't have to put up with these games. Men are hard to understand - you just have to look at SWB to see that.Meeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am someone who likes having a relationship with the right person...But to answer you question in another light My fiance just left me as she wanted to be single and have a few more experiences (she is a few years younger).......I just have to wait till she is ready and hope she will miss me too much :(
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Truth be told I can appreciate kids are very rewarding and I think I would make a good mother. Even if I do say so myself. But I don't actually feel as if I am missing out anything by not having children either. Carlos & Snowshoe - I would NEVER choose to be a single mother. No way! Everyone's experience is different of course, but I'll never forget the first time I held my daughter, with tears streaming uncontrollably down my face. Never a day goes by without me thinking about how much she adds to my life.As for single parents, I'd say that it's pretty level pegging around the schoolyard between the conventional nuclear family and myriad variations. If you feel that the effort would be too great that's one thing, but there certainly isn't any stigma associated with single parents, if that was your concern.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'you are lucky Stalky that you don't have to put up with these games. Men are hard to understand - you just have to look at SWB to see that.Meeks Or SMB for that matter. :D
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'here_n_now' Well ive worked out that its always the nice guy that comes last and alot of people would have to agree. Women are always lookin for that guy who stands out in the crowd the nice ones are those who are hiddin in the background!! Nice guys come last because they always make sure the lady cums first.But the others have one hand on the chick...and their eyes on the door just in case a better offer walks past.JMO...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Just wanted to stop following this thread! Just came online and there are about a half dozen pics of Meeka's butt there. Not that I mind, Meeka...it's just that coming online could really mess up my very expensive monitor! | EEWWWW. there's a button at the top and bottom of every page of the threads that says "stop following this topic" some boys just can't get their eyes off the sexy ass long enough to go looking for the button, eh?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' you are lucky Stalky that you don't have to put up with these games. Men are hard to understand - you just have to look at SWB to see that. Did you not get the memo? SMB has been re-allocated as my own personal room because you cannot search it in google. :p ... as for secret women's business... I can't help suspecting that all you women talk about me in there. :p ... but I'm not as curious as I was when the topics used to flash up in my activities column every time one of my contacts posted to it. Those were the days!HUgsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm with you. Love does not happen spontaneously...that is lust. We allow ourselves to fall in love. It is not something that randomly happens. Time and care and working on the relationship develops a deep and lasting love. The effort required in the beginning is the time spent together. If you spend no time together at all...then love can not develop.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am not understanding how being a Sugar daddy is not like money for sex. If your a Sugar daddy, isn't it implied that the relationship exists on the premise of reward (In the form of money or gifts) for sex or company. Kind of like bartering. Such that if the materialistic rewards are not forthcoming then the pleasure of her company will cease.As opposed to a normal relationship where both parties are together because of chemistry.Then there are princesses, and i guess they are somewhere in the middle....lolThe main thing is it works for you!Cheers Nev......Different strokes for Different folks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'a) I dare to say that there are plenty of men and women who don't want to admit that they push lovers away for no other reason than fear. They don't want a relationship they say.... and this conclusion is often derived out of being stung bad. Who wants to become emotionally attached and then hurt? Line up... line up.... Not me thankyou. b) True it's not kewl to think that way.... so brave men jump headfirst at the chance and often come out feeling....... feeling rooted three times (thanks Jean)... they get up and do it again... almost like belting yourself in the forehead with a cricket bat... or nailing your testicles to a breadboard. It's an invisible form of BDSM damn it, but it's mainstream. I dare say most of the single dating men fall into this sector and are snavelled up like shrimp by the hungry hoards of sharking women, devoured and expelled like turds at the first sign of a bad credit rating.c) Others simply don't like taking on the responsibility for someone else's happiness.... of course a thinking man will say that it's up to us as individuals to find our own happiness.. but some people just don't get that and are relationship dependents... they're fun sponges... they want me to sit around and feather a nest while my friends are out at the partaay? Oh no thanks. That doesn't sound like much fun.... the thoughts of a younger man.... then ....huh. i guess that all just sounds cowardly to me. choosing not to feel might be the safe option, but it seems both really boring and somewhat colourless. i think i'll just keep putting myself at risk of getting hurt, thanks - and hope 'the one' for me out there is brave enough to get over this kind of simplistic cowardice.
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RHP User
15 years ago
In my opinion (and I skipped reading a lot of the posts here so forgive me if I happen to repeat) you are already in relationships with people you meet...there is very seldom a defining point in which a relationship shifts gear with synchronisity for both people involved... we may think at times that a point has been reached but I encourage you to explore this notion and really define wht it is that has changed and I argue that your discovery will be this: Nothing has really changed other than perception.... in that respect its similar to a birthday - its an easy way to kee track of your personal time scale but in real terms what does it mean? you are essentially one day older than yesterday... one minute older than one minute before... time in that sense is a sliding scale of observation the same way in which a relationship is...whether a relationship is casual (I disagree with the term, I dont believe any of my relationships are casual) or not is entirely perception and when that perception is shared (or prefferably ignored?) and the actual content of the relationship is put to the fore then, in my mind, thats when progress is made. I would also argue in most successful relationships that notion of the content of the relationship being the important factor is the primary way in which the relationship survives. Intent, labels, notions of comitment.... they are all secondary to the actuality of what is taking place and I'd much rather just focus on that and enjoy every drop I can squeeze out of it.... trying to define something such as a relationship can do it as much harm as it can do it good in my opinion.LS
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'MsValkyrie'huh. i guess that all just sounds cowardly to me. choosing not to feel might be the safe option, but it seems both really boring and somewhat colourless. i think i'll just keep putting myself at risk of getting hurt, thanks - and hope 'the one' for me out there is brave enough to get over this kind of simplistic cowardice. I enjoyed Stalky's posting, but loved your answer! With that attitude and your multitude of other qualities, success is guaranteed! I'm with you - the pleasure far outweighs the occasional bouts of pain. Willingness to be hurt is surely one of the necessary components of any relationship?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Then you mean you like the style of guy type B.... the brave dudes. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
i have so much to say on this one and so much to reply too i dont know where to start . firstly Meeka not all of us single parents want to be single parents...i for one would never ever have chosen this for myself or my kids...but sometimes it isnt up to us my ex was 44 when his first child was born so hun you have heaps of time left to be a mum...dont rush into that part, get to know a man first...just remember not all men are made to be fathers, just like not all women are made to be mothers . secondly Stalky yes il admit it i am a runner...if feelings get in the way im out the door because i dont want to be hurt again (there i admitted it lol)...i can run like the wind if i have too and not a single man would catch me if i was out that door . ya know iv had FBs that tell me all they want is sex and nothing else then a couple of months down the track i get told they cant see me any more because they have found the love of their life....i think you need to be open for it and be honest at least with yourself so you are able to let it in...if your closed to the option then love will go somewhere else and leave you to your lonely self . roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Just wanted to clarify my comment about not choosing to be a single mother. .The only reason why I say that is because I know how hard it would be & for me I would not choose to do that alone from the get go. I know a few women in their 40's who have decided to have a child on their own. I respect their choice & I understand that ideally most people would not choose to go it alone. It isn't easy raising children! I know that!.Yes I would like a family one day - but only with the right guy - someone who also wants the same. And hope to hell that we can work as a team - be open and honest with each other always - be able to say you are giving me the shits without causing offense - be able to work through all problems together - and continue to make each other horny til old age and til the children have grown up. Fingers crossed. Oh where oh where is the bastard????????? LOLxxxMeeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Some boys just can't get their eyes off the sexy ass long enough to go looking for the button, eh? No really? Keeping my eyes off a woman's butt has never been all that hard although I have been that way at times when I do. However...you do know why women have boobs like yours, don't you? | Keep us "dumb" boys from having to look you in the eyes!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'TassieRose'secondly Stalky yes il admit it i am a runner...if feelings get in the way im out the door because i dont want to be hurt again (there i admitted it lol)...i can run like the wind if i have too and not a single man would catch me if i was out that door .I don't believe for a minute that people who take that approach of avoiding emotional commitment upon others are cowards. I think it's likely to be a defence mechanism like any other. Our minds respond in learned ways to reduce stress and emotional instability. for example, someone I know very well is exactly the same, an orphan, abused as a child in foster care, living on the streets at age 14 as a boy prostitute.... I mean why trust people with emotional support ... it's just not part of his make up, yet he is always very generous... and in my opinion he is as brave as anyone else... extraordinarily brave... confronter of all fears unimaginable. HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Quoting 'TassieRose'secondly Stalky yes il admit it i am a runner...if feelings get in the way im out the door because i dont want to be hurt again (there i admitted it lol)...i can run like the wind if i have too and not a single man would catch me if i was out that door .I don't believe for a minute that people who take that approach of avoiding emotional commitment upon others are cowards. I think it's likely to be a defence mechanism like any other. Our minds respond in learned ways to reduce stress and emotional instability. for example, someone I know very well is exactly the same, an orphan, abused as a child in foster care, living on the streets at age 14 as a boy prostitute.... I mean why trust people with emotional support ... it's just not part of his make up, yet he is always very generous... and in my opinion he is as brave as anyone else... extraordinarily brave... confronter of all fears unimaginable. HugsStalky ok - i'll pay that! 'coward' is an inflammatory word, although i stand by its usage in my post. although a romantic relationship in its early stages up against longstanding abuse is, to me, somewhat comparing apples and oranges. but the idea of self-preservation is the same... i still believe that the ability and choice to get through whatever emotional damage you might be carrying (although that could take years of self-work and heartbreak - i'm in the process myself), and then re-enter the fray wholeheartedly regardless - rather than holding something back to avoid further hurt - is the mark of someone who will be getting more out of life than simply surviving. i'll see your damaged street kid and raise you a Nelson Mandela!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'GirlTuesday' I smile when I see older couples walk hand in hand, gazing lovingly into their partner's eyes. It makes me feel that life is in sync for some people. I want what they are having :) i have 2 cousins (brother and sister) that are my age who both in their teen years met and married their partners...20+ years on they still look at their partners with that loving look in their eyes sometimes i really envy them...sometimes they have exactly what i want, when i married i thought it was forever, 2 years later i was glad to be out of there and now here i am 20+ years later wondering why i cant find a man that looks at me like that...maybe its because im a single mum of 100 and really who would want all those kids lol, or maybe its just because im bitter and twisted and a nasty bitch....hmmm yeah that could be it haha roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
maybe its because im a single mum of 100 and really who would want all those kids lol, or maybe its just because im bitter and twisted and a nasty bitch....hmmm yeah that could be it haha roxxyIt is just because you, like me and many others, have just not found the nut for your shell. Just keep shopping around for the bargains honey. He is out there somewhere.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hey Meeka, lots of storries here for you. Wonder if there is anything useful in it. For me, I am visual driven first. I need to like what I see with my eyes. Most boys are like that when it comes to relationships. When the eye is satisfied, the "brain" comes next. Either you have a chemesty with the girl or you dont. If not, there is no change of a long term relationship. And this chemesty does not stop when it comes to sex. The hottest girl you can flirt the whole time with is finally a vanilla girl and that does not match the kinky boys interest. That is just an example. The minute you see a girl you know if she is hot, after chatting you get a taste of chemesty in the air. When it comes to sex, you have to have it before you know its worth drifting into long term stuff. Both partners should be willing to go there, find out and respect if the other one backs off. Telling the truth, you did not like the sex, is nothing easy. We better tell storries, so we dont hurt. And of course there is the other side. You want to take the girl home for some fun, you tell her what she wants to hear. If it is relationship stuff, than you tell her that. x Gismoo
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RHP User
15 years ago
Gismo - exactly!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' maybe its because im a single mum of 100 and really who would want all those kids lol, or maybe its just because im bitter and twisted and a nasty bitch....hmmm yeah that could be it haha roxxyIt is just because you, like me and many others, have just not found the nut for your shell. Just keep shopping around for the bargains honey. He is out there somewhere. when my nut comes along i hope he is a honey roasted cashew...love those nuts, but i must say, i really am sick of peanuts and what the hell is a beer nut, thats just too weird may our nuts hurry up and find us Fiona lol roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Love is out there for us all! Its just a matter of finding mr or miss Right! & having fun along the way! No one surely wants to grow old alone! Hot sex is Important but, Its not all about Sex! Its the Whole Package! Best friend / Lover Im also a Single Mum! That does not stop me from having a Life! I have the Best of both Worlds! I havent seen my Guy since Tuesday Night! & Im really Hanging for Him! I want his body! BAD! Need U To Cum Fuck Me Babe! I know u read what I write Honey! FUCK THE FLOODS IN MELB LAST NIGHT! I MISSED OUT ON OUR FUN! I had to Sleep with Kelly instead! LMFAO XXX
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RHP User
15 years ago
I've had 3 major "relationships" in my life. It wasn't until they finished that I worked out the first wanted what they could get emotionally, the second wanted what they could get intellectually and the third wanted what they could get financially. If only they were all the same woman then I wouldn't be here. But, I am here and still looking for the one great love of my life. If she was into this lifestyle then that would be great but if not then cool too. I'm a romantic at heart and optimistic enough to believe I will find her. As for kids, I still would love to have more kids but perhaps the women I have been after see me as too old for that. Pity as I don't believe I am. Relationships mean different things to different people. To me it is a mixture of comfort, lust, adventure, boredom, communication, trust, happiness, sadness, spontenaity, planning and lots of other things. I look at my grandparents (married 60yrs) and parents (48yrs) and wonder why that doesn't happen much anymore.
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RHP User
15 years ago
................... NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THEN YOU DESERVE ................... '"think about it before you reply"
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RHP User
15 years ago
DeeperDesire . thats why im single....the best hasnt sent me a message yet lol . roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Can I please have a relationship on equal terms. I'm not Mr Right and you are not a Princesses. We will both need to maintain an effort to keep the relationship going, and meet each others needs, (which must be openly communicated). Leave all baggage at the check in counter. Expresions of interest welcome.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Tyrian29'Leave all baggage at the check in counter. hehe... Well I think we ought to embrace our baggage mate and call it our own. Everyone has some, for instance, your post seems to be bleeding from it, and it's our experiences and how we handle the crook ones that forms our characters... so stick it in the overhead locker and enjoy the flight. :pHugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
as a result of joining a sex site? you have to be kidding right?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel'as a result of joining a sex site? you have to be kidding right? As long as they are one ea of the opposite sex, moves and is warm....What more would you expect from here?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' as a result of joining a sex site? you have to be kidding right? As a couple, you're obviously not looking for a relationship anywhere, but for we singles, a relationship need never be out of the question. A common interest in sex certainly doesn't preclude people from finding other things that draw them together.
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RHP User
15 years ago
i have come to the conclusion that you dont meet someone looking for a relationship on rhp. although then again i always seem to fall in love when i least expect to :-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'mikeandshel' as a result of joining a sex site? you have to be kidding right? As a couple, you're obviously not looking for a relationship anywhere, but for we singles, a relationship need never be out of the question. A common interest in sex certainly doesn't preclude people from finding other things that draw them together. oops yes we agree and for anyone offended. we apologize. we didnt stop to think that our point of view would be very different to that of someone looking for something permanent in their lives.. was thoughtless.......
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RHP User
15 years ago
In the first year of online dating I became involved with 2 guys (separately from each other) on a fwb basis. Both attractive guys, respectful, looking for fwb's and absolutely GREAT in the sack :D My biggest problem? Within months of each other, both of them had found girls who they wanted to explore an exclusive relationship with (not me obviously). I even remember asking my friends "what the hell is it with all these guys who want to commit??" After having an initial insecurity moment (oh god was it something that I said??? Had I done something 2 weird them out in the bedroom?? lol) and overanalysing the shit out of all the great times that we'd had (yes we all do it!) I came to the conclusion that I hadn't done anything particularly scandalous or offensive and that they were just ready to try something a bit more settled than casual sex. I know a lot of women have the opposite experience but I just thought I'd point out that they do exist, it just takes a lot of looking to find them sometimes. Quoting 'Jean_Girard' "...Someone wise and messy once explained polyamory by saying "Yes I can love two people, don't people love both of their kids?" or words to that effect..." Spot on!! (Altho most parents will never admit it, they usually have a favourite! lol) ".. I think if love is putting someone elses happiness before yourself you are putting difficult expectations on yourself and your lover... even if you WANT and enjoy putting someone elses happiness first. For me love is a connection that occurs mutually, spontaneously and requires no effort..." Absolutely - love is an energy - that intangible combination of emotions. You can no more pinpoint what it is, than you can see a gust of wind. Sure, you can see the effects and scientifically we know what physically causes it but each occurrence is different and two people can look at the same object and see something different. The main thing that people do wrong though is see Love as a licence to own that person and then pile these expectations on them about how they should act and all the things they "should do" and then when it doesn't pan out how they wanted wonder why they end up heartbroken. My view is that if you see Love as that emotional connection and explore each experience, relishing in the similarities and differences you have with that person and enjoy it for what it is, without expectation of the object of your affection jumping through your imagined hoops or even having those feelings returned then you are a lot less likely to get hurt. (Don't confuse a lack of expectations with being emotionally detached though - I become emotionally involved with most of the people I have sex with, I just don't feel the need to hoard them all to myself). IMO true love means you can find happiness in knowing that they are happy, even if it takes them in a direction other than yours. That's not to say that it should be at the expense of your own happiness, just that big expectations will usually bring big disappointment. Women these days get so focussed on getting a "Relationship" I wouldn't be surprised if they scare guys off with all those needy vibes they are putting out there.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel'oops yes we agree and for anyone offended. we apologize. we didnt stop to think that our point of view would be very different to that of someone looking for something permanent in their lives.. was thoughtless....... No problem here - I certainly wasn't offended! The wonderful thing about the forums is the fact that we all bring different perspectives. For the record, I'm not looking for something permanent, but I wouldn't fight it if I found it either... :-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Is someone less of a potential mate on here compared to someone you might meet/pick up at a club when your half cut. And As I have said before if it's not possible why do RHP publish Success Stories. While a lot of us are very very happy being single ultimately it would be nice to share life with someone special. And if that someone special is from here even better. I'd hate to fall for someone who wasnt sexual. x
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RHP User
15 years ago
i been hurt before so i dont wanna rush into one but i would like a nice sweet cute girl xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
so how about it anyone interested in relationship with a big breasted big butted cuddly viviacious chick look me up ;) lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Go girl.......can't beat being proactive and seizing the opportunity. C'mon guys stand up!Cheers Nev
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