M61
Old subject but update
July 04 2016
Comments
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DynamicCouple36
10 years ago
If a high % of the population is overweight then this will become the norm / be seen as normal . It's about shifting the goal posts, and when people feel "comfortable" with the "norm" then they might have no incentive , or desire , to lose weight and it becomes a "vicious circle " and the % will climb,and so on and so on. Australia is, we have read, the 2nd most obese/overweight nation next to the USA. Does being overweight cause health issues ? Most certainly. The "norm" for anyone , should always be to try to maintain and live a healthy lifestyle. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
... that cringeworthy snippet on the news yesterday whilst still at work and felt incredulous and shocked! Sad state of affairs we are in! Be prepared for spiralling health costs that all of us taxpayers would have to shoulder as a result of very unhealthy lifestyle choices made by an increasing %age of our population. Denial erodes a minute crack that eventually turns into a fissure and before you know it, the entire dam will burst. Let's hope that this attitude that obesity is "ok" gets addressed because there's nothing sadder than seeing obese kids trying to run and play like their healthier peers and instead, end up panting very badly and can't catch up. Obesity should never become the norm! There is nothing healthy about being obese. The emphasis should be on a healthy lifestyle. Let's get fitter, not fatter!
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Tall74nHard9
10 years ago
has got to do with the corporate dollar, in this instance. Various food concerns want us to eat more of their food, medical companies can then thereby treat us with more medical products, and fitness centres can suck us in to try and get fit. Throw in clothing manufacturers who have steadily increased the previously standard dress sizes so that people can now still say I'm a size 8 (or 10) , whilst they would have actually been say a 14 or 18 under the previous standard sizing regime. Doctors are probably getting fed up with trying to control peoples weight because the patients don't see themselves as actually being outside the norm.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sorry but I will never see obesity as the norm. As someone who went from 138kg to 72kg and has kept it off, I now cringe at the sight of obese people. It revolts me! But it's up to the individual to change their mind set and nothing the govt can say will help. You have to want to do it for yourself. Pusscat xxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
When the media goes overboard with their 'every body is beautiful' approach and in doing so promote unhealthy ideals. I'm all for plus-sized models and such IF they are healthy role models, but there really is a line. I'm also sick of hearing the 'only dogs like bones' type comments next to photos of an overweight woman and the way that the word 'curvy' is now synonymous with being overweight. Our society is changing so that our lives are more and more sedentary thanks to technology, people leading busy lifestyles etc etc, and people need to make more of an active effort to be fit and healthy. It's a choice. Miss Little x
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WineAndFunTimes
10 years ago
Obesity should never be considered ok. As a nurse, obesity and an unhealthy sedentary lifestyle accounts for most of my patients being in hospital. It increases your risk for so many acute and chronic conditions that could otherwise be avoided. Obesity increases risk of adverse events in undergoing any surgery and lengthens recovery time. Obesity is also not sexy. For us, physical attraction is a must for us to agree to meet another couple. We are not perfect but we workout and play sport to keep ourselves in shape and appreciate the same of our play partners.
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RHP User
10 years ago
why the 'eating out' lifestyle has become the norm. Sometimes it is cheaper, easier, social etc but when all said and done cooking at home is almost always healthier. As Little points out (she's sooooo hot ) , with tech today it requires more effort to get off your ass and do some exercise after sitting down all day and I agree, it is not about being slim, it's about being fit. my personal preference are gym fit ladies (like LittleGiant......did I mention how hot she is???). I too have a job that requires sitting most of the day, but I still manage to keep reasonably fit for a 45 year old. At the risk of getting slammed I think the plus sized clothing stores feed this mentality of plus sized being a norm, those bastards should be shut down lol. If you run out of sizes, look in the mirror and have a long hard think about what you see and why you see this. There was talk of a fat tax for fast food outlets.....what happened to that???? I say tax the fast food outlets and make gyms and group fitness sessions free
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'langton11' There was talk of a fat tax for fast food outlets.....what happened to that???? I say tax the fast food outlets and make gyms and group fitness sessions free Amen to gym/fitness programs being free (well, maybe free isn't realistic, but at least subsidised in some way) - it isn't cheap to have a gym membership and do PT sessions or group classes. In saying that, there are free ways to stay fit...it's just more difficult to get motivated to do. Also., if may say so, hot damn! Kudos to you Langton, you clearly take care of yourself - better care than even most 20 somethings do. It's definitely a case of will-power and motivation, and a lot of it comes down to pure laziness. Yes, I am also aware that there are other factors at play like genetics/metabolism/underlying health issue/causes, but that's a cop-out a lot of the time too.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'woody_pusscat' Sorry but I will never see obesity as the norm. As someone who went from 138kg to 72kg and has kept it off, I now cringe at the sight of obese people. It revolts me! But it's up to the individual to change their mind set and nothing the govt can say will help. You have to want to do it for yourself. Pusscat xxx Congratulations and really good on you for losing all that weight! I would give you a big bear hug and a huge pat on the back if you were in my neighbourhood! That's a truly remarkable feat!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'langton11' why the 'eating out' lifestyle has become the norm. Sometimes it is cheaper, easier, social etc but when all said and done cooking at home is almost always healthier. As Little points out (she's sooooo hot ) , with tech today it requires more effort to get off your ass and do some exercise after sitting down all day and I agree, it is not about being slim, it's about being fit. my personal preference are gym fit ladies (like LittleGiant......did I mention how hot she is???). I too have a job that requires sitting most of the day, but I still manage to keep reasonably fit for a 45 year old. At the risk of getting slammed I think the plus sized clothing stores feed this mentality of plus sized being a norm, those bastards should be shut down lol. If you run out of sizes, look in the mirror and have a long hard think about what you see and why you see this. There was talk of a fat tax for fast food outlets.....what happened to that???? I say tax the fast food outlets and make gyms and group fitness sessions free Noooo!!! Don't shut down those stores!!! Those folks who can't buy clothes will start walking around naked! I don't think you really want to see that, do you? What's the opposite of eye candy?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Fat shaming on the fora,who woulda thunk it ...the almost last bastion of prejudice that appears to be socially acceptable ..and nothing like a formerly fat person to be revolted by the obese..well I might be fat,but so is my brain and I am revolted by stupid ignorant prejudiced people 👿Q
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RHP User
10 years ago
Actually langton, you might be on to something re making fitness programs free, but it needs refinement. May I suggest that it will be free, as in get 100% of your money back, only when you complete an exercise program within a stipulated time-frame? I'm on a tight budget at the moment (yeah... unfortunately pussy's not the only thing that's tight atm! LOL!!! ) and everytime I look at gym membership or exercise classes, I can't proceed because that won't be the only cost - all my exercise clothes no longer fit me since my weight loss and I don't exactly want my pants to slide off mid-exercise, which means I'll have to set aside a budget for new exercise wear and shoes too! So, free or even subsidised fitness programs will definitely help to promote fitness. The cost of that will be offset by the savings from reduced healthcare costs as people get fitter and healthier. BTW, great bodies, Wine and Fun times, langton, and Little Giant!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta1' Fat shaming on the fora,who woulda thunk it ...the almost last bastion of prejudice that appears to be socially acceptable ..and nothing like a formerly fat person to be revolted by the obese..well I might be fat,but so is my brain and I am revolted by stupid ignorant prejudiced people 👿Q I agree, when will people get off the fat shaming stage and start giving those struggling with the issue a reason to want to feel good about themselves. Its only when someone feels that have something positive to gain and be appreciated for that they will feel they can cope or manage the weight problems which are usually associated with other deeper issues. Many times weight is only an outward sign of inner healing that needs to take place. That is the vicious cycle. Negative attitudes don't help. Preaching doesn't help either. Being condescending doesn't help. It only makes people feel worse about themselves and less likely to do anything about it. This rant is not an excuse it is just my opinion from my own personal experience. LG
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DynamicCouple36
10 years ago
We have commented about this before. Do you think its just an attempt to turn being overweight into something more "normal", acceptable, beautiful, attractive?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta1' Fat shaming on the fora,who woulda thunk it ... as we've seen in another current thread, some think that giving a shit about how what they say affects others is just too difficult and everyone else should just suck up their nastiness. It's everyone else who has the problem of course, nothing to do with them...perfect little angels that they are. I'm not denying the health issues associated with obesity, but if you think that telling people how disgusting they look is going to motivate them all to lose weight you should think again. Sure the shaming will work for a few but as Leo_girl pointed out for many people the obesity is just the outward sign of other problems, and piling on the hate and shame will only make those people feel worse and less able to change.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta1' Fat shaming on the fora,who woulda thunk it ...the almost last bastion of prejudice that appears to be socially acceptable ..and nothing like a formerly fat person to be revolted by the obese..well I might be fat,but so is my brain and I am revolted by stupid ignorant prejudiced people 👿Q Big boned and a big build however even those people can become unhealthy and obese.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony'all my exercise clothes no longer fit me since my weight loss and I don't exactly want my pants to slide off mid-exercise, You say it like it's a bad thing lol
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' Quoting 'langton11' why the 'eating out' lifestyle has become the norm. Sometimes it is cheaper, easier, social etc but when all said and done cooking at home is almost always healthier. As Little points out (she's sooooo hot ) , with tech today it requires more effort to get off your ass and do some exercise after sitting down all day and I agree, it is not about being slim, it's about being fit. my personal preference are gym fit ladies (like LittleGiant......did I mention how hot she is???). I too have a job that requires sitting most of the day, but I still manage to keep reasonably fit for a 45 year old. At the risk of getting slammed I think the plus sized clothing stores feed this mentality of plus sized being a norm, those bastards should be shut down lol. If you run out of sizes, look in the mirror and have a long hard think about what you see and why you see this. There was talk of a fat tax for fast food outlets.....what happened to that???? I say tax the fast food outlets and make gyms and group fitness sessions free Noooo!!! Don't shut down those stores!!! Those folks who can't buy clothes will start walking around naked! I don't think you really want to see that, do you? What's the opposite of eye candy? Was that necessary to put people down? I am not fat, you met me at the meet and greet. As a matter of fact, I am hot. But i certainly would not put down people with body issues or those with health issues in the category of 'opposit of eye candy'. Not necesary and not helpful in my opinion. I have friends who are not fit, but healthy, and I will never put them down as I know how painful it it for them to hear comments like that. it cuts them to pieces and shameful really.
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RHP User
10 years ago
LOL I knew my comment would get a bite. But do I care - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! And I am hardly a stupid, ignorant, prejudiced person. Pusscat
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RHP User
10 years ago
Another body shaming forum, again based on obesity while millions are starving in the world. For the record I currently weigh 46 kilos, due to a metabolic disorder and IMO I look like shit, but hell my clothes are hanging off me, so I guess that makes me socially acceptable I can only pray that 40 kilos of that weight is a fat brain, like Q said. I'm not a bad looking chick, but I hope more than anything, that I resonate with people more for what I say and do than how I look. And although I do not deny the health issues associated with obesity or even anorexia which is what I have suffered from in the past, stress related diseases are our biggest killer( and lets not forget drugs and alcohol and the cost to society they inflict) and on a social level we should be more concerned about one of the saddest and preventable illnesses of all, social isolation and loneliness which is almost incomprehensible in this modern age, where we have never had more devices and ways of communicating with people Ask yourself this, did you connect with or make a difference to anyone today, even with just a smile or a hello ?
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Seachange73
10 years ago
I lead a very healthy and very active lifestyle. It is a choice for me as I need to be healthy to carry on all my work and parental commitments in a less stressful manner. Exercise is the best way for me to expel stress and re-calibrate my sense of self as it is an opportunity for me to do 'me' time. I am stronger and healthier than most women my age or even those in their 20s and 30s. But I put in the effort as I can and want it. I have been obese before and it made me feel not the best I can be for myself and my kids. I put extra effort, waking up early to do martial arts training or training after work. However, that is my choice. For those who are overweight or unfit, it is a motivational issue or health issue that they need to resolve themselves. I have friends who are overweight (10-20kg) and they seem ok with it and not an issue we talk about. I have friend who was massively obese a couple of years ago, great woman, great wife and fantastic mother to 2 autistic kids. Not easy for her and she suffered severe depression and anxiety disorder and lost all sense of self-esteem. Broke my heart. Over the years, i have invited her to train with me or even go for a walk with me. Little by little, she did work out a bit and I would invite her over for dinner to enjoy good healthy gourmet food. two years on, she has lost so much weight and is about size 14-16 from 20+. Long road and struggle for her but she is looking great and lots healthier. Our journey together has brought us closer. So if we don't give up on our friends and family who need our encouragement to lose weight and stay healthy, I think we can all get to a healthier level of fitness and better quality of life. We can then enjoy more quality time together. Shaming overweight people doesn't work as it only degrades their already diminished self-esteem. There is no motivation in shame. So be careful on what you say as it can hurt those who are already fragile in spirit.
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RHP User
10 years ago
So saying what I think is shaming? I certainly don't go around making fun or degrading obese people. I am not that type of person. It pains me to say that what is the point of the forums if you can't say what you think or are feeling? I honestly just don't get some of you people. Pusscat
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On_Safari
10 years ago
But get a life!! My brother is 180kg, morbidly obese with the biggest heart and craving to be loved. Yes he's fallen apart due to depression, an evil ex partner who denied him his daughter AND turned to food and alcohol for comfort and his job doesn't give much exercise or interaction (owner/operator Truckee). My niece is 15 and 130kg, has a disease she was born with. Her mum used to padlock the fridge and cupboards to try and limit her access to food, she's a beautiful soul who's now home schooled because of bullying, ignorant, unkind stereotyping turds who's parents no doubt perpetuate a certain image that's acceptable. Society has ALOT to answer for you ignorant self righteous so and so's. Just remember beauty's only skin deep but ugliness goes to the core. There are a lot of worthwhile "obese" people out there who have no control over their weight. I'm not saying it should become the norm BUT some of you have far bigger problems IMO than your narrow minds and bodies! ~ Unimpressed
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On_Safari
10 years ago
You're entitled to your opinion as are others......but devaluing people from a cosy weight range and saying oh it's their own fault or they're the reason private health is so expensive or our hospitals/health system is overburdened is a might high horse to be looking down from.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Saying you cringe at and are revolted by obese people is not degrading fat people..Huh,must just be merely ignorant or stupid..can't be ignorance of the issue.as a formerly obese person you would understand the issue. So must be t'other Q
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RHP User
10 years ago
Rude woman!!!!
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On_Safari
10 years ago
You said, "At the risk of getting slammed I think the plus sized clothing stores feed this mentality of plus sized being a norm, those bastards should be shut down lol. If you run out of sizes, look in the mirror and have a long hard think about what you see and why you see this." At my worst I was 96kg and a size 18-22 depending where I shopped. Apart from the mental factor of HAVING to buy from the plus size range and believe me they don't make those clothes as pretty as smaller sizes. It seems the embellishments they out on the sizes 6-12/14 disappear by size 16 and is disheartening that outlets and designers tend to forget BIG WIMEN CAN BE BEAUTIFUL AND WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL TOO!!! What about all the heavier set elderly people out there who ARENT petite anymore? Want them walking around the streets naked with all the fatties being laughed at ridiculed by the body beautifuls? So you can feel better about yourselves. I hyperventilate walking to the mailbox and most gym junkies I pity while I'm enjoying my pasta, alcohol and sedentary lifestyle among friends who work hard and play harder. My BMI isn't in the health my weight range either.....when I was 52kg the asshole I was with was still calling me fat! There's no pleasing you people 🔫
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RHP User
10 years ago
So is the OP..... Yet he throws the stones......go figure...... So OP I'll ask this AGAIN as you never can answer it..... What are YOU doing about your weight and figure seeing you have such an issue with other peoples??? And..... What are YOU doing about correcting the wider populations obesity ??? This thread does nothing to achieve anything but to degrade others without you ever walking in their shoes..... No one here can ever have the answers to obesity for the general population.........because if you're one that has lost a lot of weight, well done!!! But all you've done is identify YOUR issue as to why you were a fatty....and to state the bloody obvious, joe blogs' issue may very we'll be something entirely different..... You are of course entitled to your opinion, I'm not saying you're not......but I am saying it says more about the finger pointers, then it does about anyone else. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Stirry' So is the OP..... Yet he throws the stones......go figure...... So OP I'll ask this AGAIN as you never can answer it..... What are YOU doing about your weight and figure seeing you have such an issue with other peoples??? And..... What are YOU doing about correcting the wider populations obesity ??? This thread does nothing to achieve anything but to degrade others without you ever walking in their shoes..... No one here can ever have the answers to obesity for the general population.........because if you're one that has lost a lot of weight, well done!!! But all you've done is identify YOUR issue as to why you were a fatty....and to state the bloody obvious, joe blogs' issue may very we'll be something entirely different..... You are of course entitled to your opinion, I'm not saying you're not......but I am saying it says more about the finger pointers, then it does about anyone else. - Posted from rhpmobile To me it just looks like he stated some facts then asked a question!
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've been overweight by 20+ kgs. I lived with a "morbidly obese" / obese label for almost 20 years. I struggled with health issues, self esteem issues, etc. Did I feel attractive? No. Did I long to lose the weight? Yes. Did I suffer from taunts, disdain, and jibes? You betcha! Did men find me attractive? No way. Compared to my pre-obesity days, I stopped having guys look at me as I walked past. In Asia, where women are more petite, and people tend to judge you based on your physical appearance, the shaming can get really nasty. The things that were said right in my face would probably send quite a few folks here running straight to therapy. But I chose not to pretend that it was ok to be obese. I know deep down that eventually, I had to do something about it. I don't suffer fools and I like to call a spade a spade. I was obese and ugly. I couldn't wear clothes I liked. I decided to grab the bull by the balls... Oops, horns, and start a slow, arduous and very tedious journey back to health. I knew where I wanted to be, didn't care how long it had to take, it was one step forward, three steps back for a long while, but I eventually got on the right track. I think saying that obesity is not ok, it doesn't look good, it isn't healthy, etc are plain facts. We wouldn't have industries worth billions of dollars if dieting and weight loss isn't a major obsession in our lives / society because deep down, we all know we look better when we are slimmer and fitter. People fork out money to lose weight and become healthier and fitter. Have you ever heard of anyone forking out good money to get fatter? And so there you have it, common sense not dressed up with senseless political correctness so the bleeding hearts don't get shattered. The amount of abuse and torment I suffered as an obese girl made me stronger. I hated it, cried a lot in secret, but I wasn't delusional and I chose to agree that yes, obesity is bad, unhealthy and an eyesore. Never once did I decide to take the easy and lazy way out and convince myself that I was beautiful when I was obese. And then, I did something about it. If I had decided that Big is Beautiful and all that, I think I would have packed on an extra 20kgs today and catapult right into the morbidly obese category, helping Australia secure its place as the second fattest nation on earth. It's all about the mindset and if one never faces the brutal reality, then nothing will improve. Is it really shaming, or is it a case of the truth being hard to bear? Reality is often harsh but there are always constructive responses to cope with the issues at hand.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm on the fence with this one .. I see everyone's sides
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think this is one of those polarising conversations that has the potential to be very hurtful. For example, the comment about plus sized clothing stores being shut down - and the horror at that, because then we'd have to walk around naked? Yeah, that's hurtful. Whilst I'd rather be fully clothed when I'm walking around in public, I'm quite happy to share my naked body and my naked soul with people who deserve it, and those people lucky enough to get an invite to that party aren't cringing when they see me naked! Is obesity normal? No. And it's not healthy. But not all people who are above the average size 12/14/whatever people decide to say is "normal" and therefore acceptable, are unhealthy. And conversely, not all people who are thin are healthy. For every generalisation, there are a plethora of people who break that stereotype or idea. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
And I answered it :) I even threw in some facts too.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
beautifully said. Helping friends with love instead of shaming is the only positive way to help people deal with the weight issue. Your friend must appreciate you so much for your kindness and gentle encouragement. Great story! LG
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RHP User
10 years ago
I pulled up tonight to sleep in a parking bay. This parking bay is situated at merbein near mildura. It's butted up against a highway with maybe 60cm of shoulder.....I started work this morning at 6:30am, it's currently 10:30pm. 1075kms I've driven today. Unloaded a load of barley and have reloaded durum wheat. Fancy a jog anyone?? Lol
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RHP User
10 years ago
On nine news Aussie uni survey. Over 46% of people now see over weight and normal.Over 36% of doctors consider over weight as normal. With shows like biggest loser and many reports that themore of population is obese how the hell is this possible. I had a quick look and found a follow up article on ScientificAmerican from a few weeks ago that looks at research about 14 contestants from the Biggest Loser 6 years after the show. Aside from 1, all had gained back around 88% of the weight they'd lost, their metabolism had slowed and they were burning fewer calories than before. It's only one show and one approach though. Relying more on friend google, a list of headings from a 2016 article about why people become obese includes: 1) Consuming too many calories.2) Leading a sedentary lifestyle.3) Not sleeping enough.4) Endocrine disruptors, such as some foods that interfere with lipid metabolism. (Fructose effect on the brain may promote obesity.)5) Lower rates of smoking. (smoking suppresses appetite)6) Medications that make patients put on weight.7) Is obesity self-perpetuating? (The longer a person is overweight, the harder it becomes for them to lose weight) And I'm sure the list isn't exhaustive. and I credit at least 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 for my present situation, lol. Peachy
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RHP User
10 years ago
I am not obese or have I ever been , Yes I could lose 5 kilo. ON_SAFARI The subject is not whether your brother has a bigheart but how much longer will that heart last because of the weight.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yep..I "Sort-of" watched a bit of the program..(I think it was the one)and the impression I got from it. was that the PERCEPTION of normal has altered so much that people who are a tad/bit/more/lots over what Medicine USED to consider healthy and normal, no longer admit, or see they are putting on a bit of size.AND further more... The Doctors are not recognizing the oversizing of the population either, and being PC, but morally wrong in NOT identifying and informing their patients of their unhealthy conditionsWhen I was younger and arrogant and shallow, I spoke poorly of people who carried extra weight.I have my own measure on what I consider healthy, but, I keep that to myself, UNLESS specifically asked to comment.. in private. The ONE comment I hear though... and STILL have to bite my tongue about is .."I am (he/she is) big boned"Science and Medicine gives us a PRETTY accurate formula for a Height/Size ratio of the human frame...BUT... the Idea of the BMI (Body Mass Index) is flawed in NOT taking into consideration WHERE and HOW as body is carrying weight .. However.. a new(ish) formula is called ABSI (A Body Shape Index), which, whilst being rather complicated, gives individuals a better gauge of where they are in the big scheme of things... Just thinking out loud here I guess.....
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sorry, but that entire article is floored, why? "all-cause mortality" jumped out at me and in my opinion, negates or cancels out any legitimate content of the article or the so called stats. Heart attacks or other death caused by organ failure is never going to be documented as 'all-cause' there are always other contributing factors and some areas of the body, our organs, affect other parts, so it makes no sense. Obviously structured for sensational journalism but with no foundation. Even if it was believable, what is the point in grasping onto so called facts like that. How does that help anyone? Anyone overweight has stress on their heart. Is that not a fact? What helped me was getting a few home truths sent my way, the kick up the pants I needed to get me off the couch and onto the footpath, or in the ocean. As a society, we're patting the obese on the back, saying it's okay, you're perfect and healthy the way you are, it's the fit people who have a problem or who will die before you. And what does that achieve. Ever heard the saying 'cruel to be kind' well that's what happened to me. To the person who delivered those comments, I've never been more grateful for anything in my life, I turned the tv off, put my shoes on and never took them off hahaha they're getting a bit smelly Due respect but finding excuses IMHO is the problem and why obesity is increasing, one of the reasons anyway. And health issues aside, what about how it makes people feel. How many overweight people are happy being overweight? What possible benefit can the obese get from such studies? The more society makes the obese feel like they're fine, the less it will change, the problem will get worse Not saying a good ridiculing is in order lol respect yes of course, but encouraging people to own their own actions, exercise more and eat less, I think is the only way to swing the pendulum back the other way. It's bloody hard work and most people aren't thin just by chance, most live a healthy active lifestyle but a lot of time gets put into the resolve to maintain the body, so some respect should be given to those people also, wouldn't you think? There is fat shaming, but there is fit shaming too, a sad result of the low self esteem that often comes with obesity. Not saying you are fit shaming, but many here are, not that it bothers me, I know where those comments come from. Indy, you commented on how you feel sorry for gym junkies while you enjoy your less healthy excessive/inactive lifestyle, that comment worried me. I found it quite shocking. You said you have the lapband. Are you telling me you don't exercise. Are you just expecting this to magically do the trick? It won't happen, you need to get your head in the right space. If you don't, you'll put the weight back on, it's be a waste of time. Is that what you want to happen? Sorry for getting personal but seriously, I couldn't believe what i was reading
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' Is it really shaming, or is it a case of the truth being hard to bear? Reality is often harsh but there are always constructive responses to cope with the issues at hand. It is shaming when you belittle and make fun of people, as you did before. There is a huge difference between constructive advice and help, and just plain nastiness. Also, this 'truth' you speak of is your truth only. Your motivations for losing weight are yours and yours alone, you can't speak for others or assume that what worked for you works for everyone else. Most people who are overweight are aware of the potential health implications, they don't need people pushing an agenda of moral superiority on them and treating them like they're stupid. If you worked in health care with people who are overweight, using that approach would be a fast track to being told to fuck off. One of the most important tools you can bring to the table when trying to motivate people to make any sort of change in their lives is empathy...showing people that you can understand where they're coming from and not forcing your own values and ideals on them. Believe me, that gets you much further than any amount of shaming, bullying, and judgemental condescension ever will.
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Monian
10 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Sorry, but that entire article is floored, why? "all-cause mortality" jumped out at me and in my opinion, negates or cancels out any legitimate content of the article or the so called stats. Heart attacks or other death caused by organ failure is never going to be documented as 'all-cause' there are always other contributing factors and some areas of the body, our organs, affect other parts, so it makes no sense. You have misunderstood: "all-cause mortality" means precisely that: mortality from any cause (so by definition"Heart attacks or other death caused by organ failure" will ALWAYS be documented under "all -cause"). This study (of about 120,000 people) showed that the BMI associated with lowest death (all causes) is now 27, whereas it was 23.7 thirty years ago. Current BMI associated with lowest deaths from cardiovascular disease (incl heart attacks) is 26.4.This is published in one of the most prestigious medical journals in the world (Journal of American Medical Association, in May 2016. So these data suggest that to have the lowest risk of death from ANY causes, you should have a BMI in what is considered to be overweight on all the current charts. ie "overweight" = less likely to die. (there's also a lot of medical literature to say that if you do have a heart attack you are far more likely to survive if you are in overweight or mildly obese category) This says nothing about attractiveness (which the OP did not originally say), but DOES explain why educated medics consider "overweight" to be normal (in fact shows that 64% have not kept up with the literature!). "Overweight" BMI 25-30 is definitely NOT unhealthy (lifestyle choices however are, as are rapid fluctuations in BMI)
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Supernova
10 years ago
Being overweight is unhealthy. This is a FACT. And being unhealthy, is unattractive. It's not about shaming anyone...it's about being realistic, open, and honest. We are accepting it more and more as a society, and that - INDEED - is a massive problem.
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DynamicCouple36
10 years ago
Having read through the many previous comments, it is obvious that the subject of "obesity / being overweight / being fat" is quite an emotive one and any discussions about obesity, seem to always end in a heated debate and argument. We wonder why? We have lost a lot of weight (30kg & 23kg each over a 2 -3 month period) and have pretty much kept it off for the past 3 years. The benefits to our health, well being, vitality and libido have been incredible, not to mention ones confidence / self esteem. We are now back to the weight were, when we got married 19 years ago. It's been like turning back the clock for us, in so many ways, and has worked wonders for our marriage. Why did we get fat? Well for starters we ate the wrong "foods" and in too high a quantity and then also did not get enough exercise. What you put in you certainly get out. Stuff oneself on high calorie , high carb, processed foods and you will put on weight. Put diesel in a petrol car and there will be problems. The same applies to the "fuel" (food) that you put into your body . Only YOU are to blame if you eat too much of the wrong thing and get fat as a result. Yes, some people are overweight/obese due to hormonal imbalance and other medical issues, but you will be surprised at how many health issues can actually be resolved and "cured" by simply eating whole, real, unprocessed foods , drinking plenty of fresh clean water, and getting out and doing some exercise, even if its just a 30 minute walk daily. There are far too many McDonalds, KFC, Hungry Jacks fast food outlets in Australia. We are certainly following the example set by our big brother the USA !! At the end of the day MODERATION is the key word. Too much of anything is not good. One is also the only one who is really responsible for ones own health, vitality and well being. Don't expect others and or the Government to ensure that you are healthy and stay healthy. Only you can invest in your own health. So get off your "butts" and do something about it. We did and have never been happier (and trust us there were some serious health issues )
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RHP User
10 years ago
I find it really frustrating when people say that those who are overweight would be happier if they got off their butts and lost some weight, and question whether you can really be happy if you aren't thin. I am very happy with my life, my lifestyle, and (most days) my body. I hav even significantly thinner, and it didn't impact my level of happiness or contentment. Perhaps we can cut out the judgment of -all- groups in emotive conversations like this. I have all due respect for people who have put in the hard work it takes to lose a significant amount of weight. I have all due respect for people who prioritise diet and exercise in their lives. I have all due respect for people who take surgical options to change their body. And, I finally have respect for the choices I make in my life ... To be able to look in the mirror and be ok with what I see, rather than being constantly compelled to want to see it somehow differently. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I would just like to point out that I have never ever shamed anyone obese. What I shared with you was a very private thought. Next time I will keep my thoughts to myself. Pusscat xxx
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Quoting 'woody_pusscat'Sorry but I will never see obesity as the norm. As someone who went from 138kg to 72kg and has kept it off, I now cringe at the sight of obese people. It revolts me! But it's up to the individual to change their mind set and nothing the govt can say will help. You have to want to do it for yourself. Pusscat I commend you on losing weight for healthy and mental reasons. it is not easy and keeping it off is even harder. However, with the comment you made above, I can't see any other way people on the forum reacted the way they did. I have read your posts in the past and I think, most of the time, they are thoughtful and insightful. so the post above may seem contradictory to the previous behaviour you have exhibited in the forum. Maybe some clarification will help clear the waters. I hope you continue to post on forum as diversity in views makes the discussion interesting and educational.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I fail to see how stating that being healthy (I don't mean a gym addict with rock hard abs) makes me a narrow minded, ignorant, judgemental 'bad person.' Yes, some of the comments in this thread are flat-out fat shaming and I don't agree with those comments, but those screaming bloody murder at these posts need to have a look at their own - skinny shaming is just as nasty. This was what I was referring to in my original comment on this thread about how it seems to be okay to shame people for being slim – what if I said to 'you people' (because clearly some of you have an 'us against them' mentality when it comes to this issue) making these skinny bashing comments that you are narrow-minded, ignorant, judgemental bad people for talking this way about slim people? How is that okay? The ol' 'two wrongs don't make a right' ringing any bells? I hope those making these comments realise how hypocritical it sounds. While there are those that are overweight due to genetic factors, the truth of it is that these people make up a very small minority of the population in an unhealthy weight range - 'genetic factors identified so far make only a small contribution to obesity risk-and our genes are not our destiny: Many people who carry these so-called “obesity genes” do not become overweight, and healthy lifestyles can counteract these genetic effects. People who carry the gene have a 20 to 30 percent higher risk of obesity than people who do not but physical activity offsets the effects. A study, conducted in 17,058 Danes, found that people who carried the obesity-promoting gene, and who were inactive, had higher BMIs than people without the gene variant who were inactive. Having a genetic predisposition to obesity did not seem to matter, however, for people who were active: Their BMIs were no higher or lower than those of people who did not have the obesity gene. (Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health)' So yes, those that are genetically pre-disposed to be larger if they are inactive may gain weight more easily and find it more difficult to maintain a healthy body weight and/or to lose weight, but it doesn't make it impossible. According to research by PWC drawing on statistics from the WHO and ABS, 'The total costs for these areas (i.e. obesity) in Australia in 2011-12, were estimated to be $8.6 billion (in 2014-15 dollars). If no further action is taken to slow the growth of obesity then there will be 2.4 million more obese people in 2025 than in 2011-12 and $87.7 billion in additional costs due to obesity to society over the ten years (2015-16 to 2024-25). There will also be a higher proportion of obesity class III, meaning higher health risks and costs. based on ABS statistics, it estimated that there will be 7.2 million obese persons in Australia in 2025.' So yes, obesity may be less dangerous than it used to be, but that is because we are spending so much more money on dealing with it, and these costs are just going to keep rising. In reality, we're eating more high-calorie foods (n greater quantities), exercising less and dealing with higher levels of stress which - when combined with less sleep and spending more time working -makes us more likely to engage in irregular eating patterns and 'eating for comfort' and/or bingeing on food, alcohol etc. (paraphrased from health.harvard.edu.au article). It seems like many of the skinny shamers on here are relying on emotive arguments with little to no factual/statistical support to try and shame those of us that make a concerted effort to remain healthy. I'm aware that for many people with weight issues it isn't a simple solution, but slinging insults at those who recognise it as a serious issue that can't be ignored/solved by saying 'stuff all you skinny bitches, you're just jealous because you're miserable that you can't eat and drink whatever you want' isn't exactly helpful either, is it? Miss Little x
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Hotstepper85' Being overweight is unhealthy. This is a FACT. And being unhealthy, is unattractive. It's not about shaming anyone...it's about being realistic, open, and honest. We are accepting it more and more as a society, and that - INDEED - is a massive problem. Yes, being overweight is associated with numerous health problems. It's certainly not the only reason that people are unhealthy, however. As for being "realistic and open" - the fact that being "unhealthy is unattractive" is YOUR reality. It is also implying a correlation between being overweight, therefore unhealthy, therefore unattractive, that doesn't necessarily apply to everyone else. As for whether we are accepting is as a society - well, yes we are. But there is also a greater awareness of health problems associated with a great many conditions, excess weight being one of them, and hopefully this will continue to lead to people being able to access the help and support they feel they need to deal with issues they are dealing with. If, and only IF, they feel the need to however, and not because someone has told them they SHOULD feel badly (ie unattractive) about themselves. And can I just say, in my opinion - your profile pic? HOT!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'LittleGiant' I fail to see how stating that being healthy (I don't mean a gym addict with rock hard abs) makes me a narrow minded, ignorant, judgemental 'bad person.' Yes, some of the comments in this thread are flat-out fat shaming and I don't agree with those comments, but those screaming bloody murder at these posts need to have a look at their own - skinny shaming is just as nasty. This was what I was referring to in my original comment on this thread about how it seems to be okay to shame people for being slim – what if I said to 'you people' (because clearly some of you have an 'us against them' mentality when it comes to this issue) making these skinny bashing comments that you are narrow-minded, ignorant, judgemental bad people for talking this way about slim people? How is that okay? The ol' 'two wrongs don't make a right' ringing any bells? I hope those making these comments realise how hypocritical it sounds. I completely agree, Littlegiant. I have two daughters, who eat basically the same as I do. One of them has curves like her mother, the other has a dancers body. Someone commented to her recently that she should really eat a cheeseburger. I lost my shit at them as much as I would have if someone had told her sister she needed to cut back on the chips, and go for a run. It's one of the things that annoyed me about Meghan Trainor's song "all about that bass". I loved the positive message it sent about embracing your curves, right up until the "skinny bitches" line.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Hotstepper85' Being overweight is unhealthy. This is a FACT. Have you seen anyone on this thread deny that? (although many people who carry a bit of excess weight are perfectly healthy with normal physiological measurements, so it also depends on how overweight we're talking). Your assertion that unhealthy is unattractive is just your personal opinion and preference, which of course you're allowed to have but it doesn't mean everybody feels that way. Plenty of unhealthy people (not just the overweight) are in relationships and having lots of sex, you may not like that fact but it's a fact nonetheless. It boggles my mind that people can't (or won't) see the difference between sticking to the facts and trying to be constructive in ways to encourage people to lose weight, and on the other hand getting personal and insulting by talking about how gross overweight people look naked and that they shouldn't even sell clothes for them. Think about it this way....how likely is it that you're going to listen to someone if they insult you and talk about you like you're some sort of sub-human who shouldn't even exist? Not bloody likely I'll bet. So yeah, good luck with that approach.
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DynamicCouple36
10 years ago
Quoting 'PatchworkGirl' I find it really frustrating when people say that those who are overweight would be happier if they got off their butts and lost some weight, and question whether you can really be happy if you aren't thin. I am very happy with my life, my lifestyle, and (most days) my body. I hav even significantly thinner, and it didn't impact my level of happiness or contentment. We did not say that overweight people would be happier if they got off their butts and lost some weight. What we did say was that if one wants to lose weight, yes one needs to get off ones proverbial butts and make some effort. This might take the form of changing ones eating habits, getting some exercise etc. It all boils down to whatever makes one happy. No one is going to lose the weight for you. No one can make the effort for you. If you are not happy about your weight and body shape, then only you can make the changes in your lifestyle and lose that weight / tone up where needed. We know a few people who are considerably over weight, due to their eating habits. The wife does a lot of baking every day and pushes the food onto her husband and teenage children, as a result of which all 4 of them are obese. Despite both husband and wife having the lap band surgery, both continue to eat the wrong foods - they eat a lot of fast foods, processed foods, pizza and then the cakes etc she bakes daily . They have lost no weight at all, despite the surgery!! We also did not say that those who are overweight /obese are unhappy people, or that they are unhappy with their weight. On the flip side of the coin we are sure that not everyone who is slim/thin is happy with their weight and body shape. We are all very different. There is no right or wrong. It is all about what works for you. We have heard the moaning & whining (amongst some obese people we know) when they see a slim, attractive women working out " she is a skinny bitch, she cant be a happy person ..... etc etc" . We have not, as yet, heard any people (that we know) who are slim/ like to keep in shape, stating that obese people are unhappy people. Perhaps some people just have chips on their shoulders / insecurity complexes about their weight ? And to shift the guilt then try to blame others? However, lets not all forget the correlation between being overweight and the very real health issues that result from this. Sleep Apnoea is but one example. Mr D suffered from this. The first thing the doctors did was weigh him, measure his height and then most important the circumference of his neck and belly, as the former is more than often an indication that one will suffer from sleep Apnoea - ie if one is overweight it also shows up in ones neck measurement. He had tests and stopped breathing 57 times in one night, the longest being for almost 2 minutes. He blood sugar levels also indicated that he was pre diabetes. There were also other, more serious issues (which were not related to being overweight, but would have required major brain surgery with regards the symptoms) . He decided that he had nothing to lose by losing weight and going running every day, as hard as it was with his condition. Voila,no more sleep apnoea, blood sugar levels back to normal, and no brain ops yet. By exercising, losing the weight and becoming a little fitter, he has been able to live with his symptoms , or at least not let them become too much for him.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PatchworkGirl' Someone commented to her recently that she should really eat a cheeseburger. I lost my shit at them as much as I would have if someone had told her sister she needed to cut back on the chips, and go for a run. It's one of the things that annoyed me about Meghan Trainor's song "all about that bass". I loved the positive message it sent about embracing your curves, right up until the "skinny bitches" line. Whenever someone posts one of the 'do guys like BBWs?' topics you can guarantee that there'll be the comments with derogatory terms about thin women, like stick insect, anorexic, bag of bones etc. Those sort of comments shit me just as much as the ones here about overweight people being gross.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have publicly called people out on those topics for making those sorts of comments about thin women.
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Supernova
10 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' Quoting 'Hotstepper85' Being overweight is unhealthy. This is a FACT. Have you seen anyone on this thread deny that? (although many people who carry a bit of excess weight are perfectly healthy with normal physiological measurements, so it also depends on how overweight we're talking). Your assertion that unhealthy is unattractive is just your personal opinion and preference, which of course you're allowed to have but it doesn't mean everybody feels that way. Plenty of unhealthy people (not just the overweight) are in relationships and having lots of sex, you may not like that fact but it's a fact nonetheless. It boggles my mind that people can't (or won't) see the difference between sticking to the facts and trying to be constructive in ways to encourage people to lose weight, and on the other hand getting personal and insulting by talking about how gross overweight people look naked and that they shouldn't even sell clothes for them. Think about it this way....how likely is it that you're going to listen to someone if they insult you and talk about you like you're some sort of sub-human who shouldn't even exist? Not bloody likely I'll bet. So yeah, good luck with that approach. Luck dragon you just love to hate me, I gather that. No need to take a poetic license... "Your assertion that unhealthy is unattractive is your opinion and personal preference" Ok well, I must be living on another planet then?? "You treat people like some kind of sub-human" You don't know me, so how do you draw such a conclusion ? As I said, total poetic license. I also never called anyone 'Gross' and nothing was 'personally insulting' My post was about the topic, and yours was to try and shame a young fit guy, as you seem to do quite often, I'm not sure why, some sort of mental complex you have. Anyway, I stand by the fact that unhealthy is unattractive. If you disagree that's fine but spare the thesis on how evil and contrived I am. Some people got too much time on their hands, and manifest in anger all day every day. Kinda sad how angry someone could get over what I wrote. seriously, seriously sad. :(
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'DynamicCouple36' Quoting 'PatchworkGirl' I find it really frustrating when people say that those who are overweight would be happier if they got off their butts and lost some weight, and question whether you can really be happy if you aren't thin. I am very happy with my life, my lifestyle, and (most days) my body. I hav even significantly thinner, and it didn't impact my level of happiness or contentment. We did not say that overweight people would be happier if they got off their butts and lost some weight. What we did say was that if one wants to lose weight, yes one needs to get off ones proverbial butts and make some effort. This might take the form of changing ones eating habits, getting some exercise etc. It all boils down to whatever makes one happy. No one is going to lose the weight for you. No one can make the effort for you. If you are not happy about your weight and body shape, then only you can make the changes in your lifestyle and lose that weight / tone up where needed. We know a few people who are considerably over weight, due to their eating habits. The wife does a lot of baking every day and pushes the food onto her husband and teenage children, as a result of which all 4 of them are obese. Despite both husband and wife having the lap band surgery, both continue to eat the wrong foods - they eat a lot of fast foods, processed foods, pizza and then the cakes etc she bakes daily . They have lost no weight at all, despite the surgery!! We also did not say that those who are overweight /obese are unhappy people, or that they are unhappy with their weight. On the flip side of the coin we are sure that not everyone who is slim/thin is happy with their weight and body shape. We are all very different. There is no right or wrong. It is all about what works for you. We have heard the moaning & whining (amongst some obese people we know) when they see a slim, attractive women working out " she is a skinny bitch, she cant be a happy person ..... etc etc" . We have not, as yet, heard any people (that we know) who are slim/ like to keep in shape, stating that obese people are unhappy people. Perhaps some people just have chips on their shoulders / insecurity complexes about their weight ? And to shift the guilt then try to blame others? However, lets not all forget the correlation between being overweight and the very real health issues that result from this. Sleep Apnoea is but one example. Mr D suffered from this. The first thing the doctors did was weigh him, measure his height and then most important the circumference of his neck and belly, as the former is more than often an indication that one will suffer from sleep Apnoea - ie if one is overweight it also shows up in ones neck measurement. He had tests and stopped breathing 57 times in one night, the longest being for almost 2 minutes. He blood sugar levels also indicated that he was pre diabetes. There were also other, more serious issues (which were not related to being overweight, but would have required major brain surgery with regards the symptoms) . He decided that he had nothing to lose by losing weight and going running every day, as hard as it was with his condition. Voila,no more sleep apnoea, blood sugar levels back to normal, and no brain ops yet. By exercising, losing the weight and becoming a little fitter, he has been able to live with his symptoms , or at least not let them become too much for him. I know you didn't. But there's certainly that trend appearing in this thread. If I was implying you said that directly, I would have quoted you directly. And yes, I'm aware that my choices impact the shape of my body. I'm happy with that. I'm also glad that Mr D has resolved some of his health issues - I know people who struggle with sleep apnoea, and it sucks, so I'm glad he's doing better. :-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks, I may have misunderstood the meaning or how it applied but what difference does is make? All that means is what? More people die in car crashes and plane crashes, from drug problems etc none of that matters or makes any difference when assessing obesity and what it's doing to the body. So clinging to facts and studies and finding excuses IMHO isn't going to help. It is still bad for your body and if the car crash didn't kill you, the heat attack would lol not you but do you understand how you're missing the point of my comment?
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
It's not a long one... but those with a low tolerance for long posts better stop right here. I was first fat shamed at the age of 11. By a doctor no less. He was visiting my school and doing health checks on Grade 5 & 6 students. Parents were invited to be there, and my Mum made sure she was. After getting a quick history on me, he weighed me and took my height, consulted a table and told Mum I was quite overweight and I must do some exercise.Mum took one look at him, another look at me (with my bright red face, trembling mouth and tears starting to form) and gave him a a few home truths.You see, I couldn't actually fit anymore exercise into my life. I played and trained in my chosen sport 5 days a week; a sport which requires high levels of aerobic fitness and a strong core, excellent agility and fast reaction speed. The matches were 40 minutes long, the training sessions up to 1.5 hours long... 2 hours when the Rep Team on which I played were getting ready for major comps. My other favorite sport featured twice a week - once for comp. and once for training. Then add in the walk home from school (2km), the PE lessons at school, the swimming, bike rides with my friends..... the everything else a normal country kid does.... get the point I'm trying to make?Fast forward 30+ years and his comments still ring in my ears; that's how much of a negative impact his words had. These days he would be well within his rights to make those comments, as I am overweight and I know that. But I do the best I can; I eat well (very little processed food, good portion sizes), but my exercise regime is virtually non existent.Ahha you say! There's your answer Jonesy - get out and exercise. Well duh, you don't think I know that?Ten years ago all those years of sport started to catch up with me and I stopped even the small amount of sport I was still doing because my body just couldn't do it anymore. Four years ago I had an operation on my foot for a problem which two of Melbourne's leading orthopaedic surgeons had never seen or heard about before. I need to have that surgery again as the problem has resurfaced..... as well as another problem with the tendons in the same foot. These two issues mean I cannot run or do any impact exercise, walking is even an issue as the problem with the tendon means I can wear runners for about 10 minutes before I scream in pain (any shoe which covers the top of my foot presses on the tendon...you try not being able to wear boots in a Melbourne winter!).I love to swim and do so in the bay whenever I can in summer. I can't use indoor pools for winter swimming as the chlorine does terrible things to my skin. I do yoga a couple of times a week but still have to adapt or skip many of the positions because I can't weight bear properly or they twist my foot.I'll have the operation/s sometime in the next 12 months... when I have a spare month where I can be at home for recovery, and off my foot for a minimum of 3 weeks..... when I have the strength to drag myself back to work after that recovery time, wearing shoes in two different sizes (yep, seriously, I do have to do that)....and when I have the mental capacity to put myself through 6 long months of rehab, pain and compromised lifestyle.So feel free to fat shame me, feel free to tell me to do some exercise, feel free to tell me to change my diet....just like the doctor did all those years ago. Because I have done all that many times over in my life.What's your next bit of advice?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Has it occurred to you that less people die of heart attacks or people are saved from dying today more because of medical development? I know people who would have died back then, not the case today, not just surgeries but what about medications to reduce blood pressure, cholesterol and other things. Of course less people will die today of heart failure, but not because there's less health risk with being overweight and makes the whole study a joke, but it obviously makes people feel better to read that kind of stuff. Less reading and more exercise would be more beneficial, so forgive me if I never read the whole article, I didn't have time 😉
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RHP User
10 years ago
Rubens has usually been associated with painting very large women Rubenesque being a euphemism often used to describe fat women.In actual fact he painted women of all shapes and sizes as did other artists of the time. Lucien Freud often painted an extremely fat woman...Modigliani didnt. Obviously a personal preference for both of these artists. One of the earliest pieces of art found,The Venus of Willemdorf...considered to be a fertility goddess is extremely fat. In many cultures fat equates with wealth,in our culture we follow the Duchess of Windsor's advice.."Ypu can neither be too rich or too thin" Q
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RHP User
10 years ago
What is my next bit of advice? Pass a compliment to a fit person. They deserve it, they work hard, look good, deserve to be congratulated, not criticised, but if that makes you feel better 👌😀
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RHP User
10 years ago
The author and Guru of the jogging generation died of a heart attack while jogging at the age of fifty -two Q
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RHP User
10 years ago
I can't find the skinny shaming comments.... I can only seem to find the comments pertaining to removing plus sized clothing, and that being fat is a choice.... Though I did see a quote from a Facebook meme re: bones are only for the dog....but I'm ignoring that one as it was from a poster supporting fat being a choice..... I'd be most grateful if someone could either paste them in or at least maybe message me?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Stirry' I can't find the skinny shaming comments.... there aren't any on this thread...I was referring to previously posted topics, usually the ones where women ask whether any guys find bigger women attractive.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Without seeing the details of the survey, i agree with usrightnow post with lots of questions (p2) Surveys can be misleading- data can b manipulated, questions leading the witness, selection of survey participants etc. Also peoples bias and honesty in the questions. Perception is not always reality. Bmi is also flawed in that muscle weighs more than fat. Personal experiences- Years ago, i got shitty as a dr told me i was overweight according to bmi because of my weight. Even though i was skinny to look at. Couple years back, i was depressed and tried to get down to my recommended bmi. It wasn't a healthy skinny at all. So i agree with Mooche's post about skinny not necessarily being healthy. Barf was probably wrong choice of word..Squirrel! 😛
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RHP User
10 years ago
this thread certainly took off lol. I've been normal weight , even skinny through most of my teen life then gave up the active lifestyle and started eating bad foods and drinking beer to the point I put on about 50kgs. I then lost about 40 just cause I was bored and it gave me something to do while working away. When I came back I put some of the weight back on (about 15kgs) and am just now in the process of losing some again (down 7 kgs in 2.5 weeks). And I'll be honest, I can't say my weight affected whether I was happy or sad. I had some of the best times of my life at my heaviest weight, and some of the worst at my ideal BMI, and vice versa. Maybe everyone just needs to learn to be happy in their own skin, whatever it looks like, and not worry about what the other person is up to? I've heard shaming from both sides of the divide from my friends and colleauges, not necessarily directed at me, but vanity is a curse as much as gluttony in my eyes. Thats about all I'm gonna say on the matter. Oh, and one last thing....has anyone ever visited an emergency departement on the weekend? The amount of footballers/netballers/sportspeople in there for sports related injuries is quite phenomenol. I'd say this is putting a bit of a burden on the healthcare system also ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
The OP popped up a query regarding the shift in the perception of obesity as the norm, and asked how this was possible. The reason this has become possible is due to a number of factors, largely including the rate of change. The fact that overall body shape at a population scale took a long time to slide to where it is has resulted in this shift being insidious, rather than abrupt. Miss Little put forward a LOT of compelling studies in her last post, but since I had a few minutes, I thought I'd pop in my two cents as I'm a medico in the athletic setting with professional boxers, so body composition and weight cutting etc to make weight grades is a fairly hot topic here. 1) A large number of studies are skewed by the continued use of BMI as a measure for body composition. Let me make this abundantly clear, BMI IS A TERRIBLE MEASURE. A heavy weight boxer or power lifter will be rated as "obese" on their BMI due to the fact that muscle weighs a good deal more than fat per volume (it is more dense). Part of the reason that studies have indicated a shift to the lower "all cause" mortality rates being among a slightly higher BMI rating is the fact that exercise has largely become recreational now, rather than occupational; as a result of this, muscle mass gains exceed what would have previously been functional, and are now used for sculpting and dedicated lifting. In short, heavier people per height have started to pop up in higher BMI scales BECAUSE they are more healthy. The gold standard for body composition measurement is MRI imaging, but obviously this is obviously impractical for large-scale use at the moment; measures that are better than BMI that are currently practical include hip-waist ratio (for central obesity as a measure of risk of vascular fat aka internal fat), and skin fold measurements. 2) The genetic causes of obesity are associated with over FORTY individual genes. These take effect in a number of ways including how we utilise energy we take in, which hormones are present and when, and the morphology of our body (overall shape, i.e. those of African background are likely to be taller and slimmer, as it was hot there when they evolved, and this gave a high surface area to volume ratio to allow them to cool off faster, the opposite is true of inuit/eskimo heritage). ALL of these genetic causes are mitigatable by controlling lifestyle factors. The only causes of genetic obesity that CAN'T be mitigated by lifestyle factors are hormonal changes such as those experienced during some menopausal cases, and congenital diseases such as Cushing's syndrome and the like. Saying "I have a slow metabolism" is a cop-out, as the daily metabolism as measured by Base Metabolic Rate only fluctuates by around 300cal between individuals of the same demographics (height, weight, age, and gender), so that's about 3/4 of a meal a day, this is not hard to account for with lifestyle. Finally: 3) Fat shaming and skinny shaming are pointless, people are less likely to look after themselves if they are made to feel that they are not WORTH looking after. There needs to be better public education about nutrition and activity, and private health companies would find it in their best interests to offer discounted gym memberships, or discounts on their premiums for those who can prove they have been to a gym a given amount of times (the company would SAVE money this way, as obesity related diseases are rampant). There is also some relationship between the presence of obesity and the PERPETUATION of obesity. If you are obese your insulin tolerance increases, this results in it becoming more difficult to lose weight, the cycle goes on this way. In short, those who are obese SHOULD do their best to rectify that for their health, AND for the good of the public health system, the prior comments about dropping rates of death due to heart attacks etc. being attributable to better medical responses, defibrillators and other such advances are all spot on. People DO NEED TO DO THEIR BEST TO IMPROVE THEIR BODY COMPOSITION FOR A HOST OF REASONS, FAT/SKINNY SHAMING IS NOT THE WAY TO ACCOMPLISH THIS. Mr Giant
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'The_3somes' this thread certainly took off lol. I've been normal weight , even skinny through most of my teen life then gave up the active lifestyle and started eating bad foods and drinking beer to the point I put on about 50kgs. I then lost about 40 just cause I was bored and it gave me something to do while working away. When I came back I put some of the weight back on (about 15kgs) and am just now in the process of losing some again (down 7 kgs in 2.5 weeks). And I'll be honest, I can't say my weight affected whether I was happy or sad. I had some of the best times of my life at my heaviest weight, and some of the worst at my ideal BMI, and vice versa. Maybe everyone just needs to learn to be happy in their own skin, whatever it looks like, and not worry about what the other person is up to? I've heard shaming from both sides of the divide from my friends and colleauges, not necessarily directed at me, but vanity is a curse as much as gluttony in my eyes. Thats about all I'm gonna say on the matter. Oh, and one last thing....has anyone ever visited an emergency departement on the weekend? The amount of footballers/netballers/sportspeople in there for sports related injuries is quite phenomenol. I'd say this is putting a bit of a burden on the healthcare system also ;) so are you suggesting we should all give up being active, to prevent injury, and take up gluttony? Interesting viewpoint. To respond to your comment on being happy at your biggest. If you are that happy, then why worry about losing weight. Many of your comments have been whining about not getting any action, so I would have to take from that, that you're not happy, anyone reading those comments would think the same. Very negative about your experience doing this. So happy? Not from where I sit
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RHP User
10 years ago
Gotcha - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Langton11...she's hot aaand smart. 😉 (altho i could b accused of being bias) Thanks Miss LittleGiant for backing up my post with everything u said with better wording (i'm jk, epic post 👍 ) Stirry, I'm not very good at it myself. Have to read the post and between the lines for skinny shaming? (jk again)
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' What is my next bit of advice? Pass a compliment to a fit person. They deserve it, they work hard, look good, deserve to be congratulated, not criticised, but if that makes you feel better 👌😀 Can you point me in the direction of where I criticised fit people? I'm pretty sure what I did was tell my story and how I have been judged all my life for being overweight - and therefore supposedly unhealthy - even when I was playing sport at a high standard and super fit. The rest of the tale was about where I am now.... unable to be fit (because of debilitating damage to my body (again!) which requires more surgery and a long rehab. Lets not confuse FIT with HEALTHY.... despite being overweight I am very healthy. They are not mutually exclusive.
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On_Safari
10 years ago
But right now I just have to take my hat off to you ❤️ xx My friend is a gym junky, he can't help it his body needs the gym he gets tense without it. Lovinit knows who I'm talking about. He's 54 looks 38 hot body BUT he's aware that his body, through his fitness regime; has gotten to a stage where he goes into withdrawal if he's not at the gym daily but at the same time he's basically destroyed his joints, tendons, frame and his future is looking pretty bleak mobility wise as he ages. I guess it's a case of all things in balance. Patchworkgirl you rock your bombshell body as well as your vintage wardrobe. And as a ex fatty (weight loss & cosmetic surgery) when I was 96kg no bloke who ever got naked with me ever ran away screaming and they weren't sorry either! My oldest friend has always been a huge girl and she used to date some of the hottest looking men! Her husband and her lovers adore her! Most of the women in my family are BIG extended and immediate.....cos they're awesome people who enjoy a great life. Sexy is the way a person IS not the way they look. I'll concede that's not true in every case but regardless there's very few people out there who have absolutely nothing of beauty about them and TRUE BEAUTY has nothing to do with body size, shape, BMI or whatever most would typically use to judge such a thing ~ toddling off to check out Cavey's new BMI calculator to see if I'm still in the unhealthy BMI 🤔😉
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RHP User
10 years ago
Is the growing amount of obese children. My son has a friend who is morbidly obese.....at the age of 16. He lives on junk food and fizzy drinks and does no sport at all. Now its none of my business, right?> But hes a lovely, friendly lad and I just know his quality of life wont be getting any better as he gets older. I have brought my boy up on healthy home made food and he likes to make things from scratch himself. Jamie Oliver tried to change the school dinners in the UK as they were feeding the kids cheap and unhealthy dishes. Some parents were outraged ( ? ) and were bringing Maccas to the kids at lunchtime.
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RHP User
10 years ago
My last 3 1/2yrs. Got rid of my Ex of 30yrs, as she no longer wanted me, just the "cruisy" lifestyle. Lost 90% of my own family due to this, put on 5kgs as I wasn't eating properly. 98kgs. She took me to court for the lot. I lost my job because I couldn't work more than SAT/SUN each wk, the hrs I was originally employed to do, due to the stress & the money I was making 6 days a wk only bolstered her chances in court. 3mths off work waiting for court, no Centrelink. Due to depression & not feeling like eating, I lost 14.5kgs. She failed in court, I ended up on nite shift for 4mths & put on 4kgs. Through all of this my then 16yr old son & I had issues, relating to the split & rumors about me being "emailed" around my family & friends. I finally got back up & running 15mths ago, my Son & I agreed on "Bro's 4 Eva" & stuck to it. My Son died in a car accident at Easter, 12 days after his 20th B/day, which I hadn't celebrated with him yet. My world "stopped", I returned to work 2mths ago, driving trucks 10-12hrs a day, late finishes, not eating the right food etc, I'm now at 90kgs, but I will "be back", to make my Son proud of me. So before ppl start "slagging off" in forums, they should be aware that not everybody is in the position to eat right & get to the gym. I have been "abused" & "blocked" in the past over my comments in forums, well go ahead you "judgmental ppl", I no longer worry about that type of "shit". You don't understand how vicious life can be, until you lose your only child. My heart is now "hollow". Paul.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you, beautiful. xoxo Urn, I appreciate that last post of yours. Thoughtful and interesting, and displaying a solid ilunderstanding of the complexities of this issue. Thank you for taking the time to write it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you, beautiful. xoxo Urn, I appreciate that last post of yours. Thoughtful and interesting, and displaying a solid ilunderstanding of the complexities of this issue. Thank you for taking the time to write it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Seeing that you seem to be the only one here saying that fit people have been criticised in this thread.. Where has anyone knocked those that go to the gym in this thread?? Because I won't knock those that go to the gym.....but I'll be fucked if I'm going to go out of my way to compliment them on it....what's the purpose?? To feed their constant need of reassurance or their hard work?? Because if they ain't getting that from within they've got bigger issues than a fatty like me lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
What I would love to see is the national franchise or company that is anytime fitness start branching their establishments into truck stops.....I've been led to believe that you can use your membership Australia wide, so to me, it makes sense to target those areas that will provide choice.... Trucks aren't getting smaller with trials of b-triples running between Melbourne and Sydney which will no doubt branch out to being the norm soon, and even with 2 trailers like I tow, ya just can't park it at the local shopping centre. By introducing these types of establishments, it would encourage and provide a safer than on the side of a major highway for not just truck drivers but all people to spend 30 mins on a treadmill or bike or going a few squats, etc. The other thing that needs to happen is that we need to get restaurants back into truck stops instead of fucking McCardboards. Real food is awesome, but try establishing a decent kitchen on the side of a fuel tank in sleet, or rain, etc is as about as successful as getting milk out your ears. Forget the Bain Marie shit that they offer up for dinners as I've seen all of that be available from 2:30pm till 8-9pm with there being more nutritious content in the broth that the veggies are sitting in than that of the vegetables themselves.....and let's face it, veggies aren't supposed to be able to be sucked up a straw...... It's 2:17am as writing this....another 947kms driven today.....my Yoga instructor is damn late though the prick!!! :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Stirry' Seeing that you seem to be the only one here saying that fit people have been criticised in this thread.. Where has anyone knocked those that go to the gym in this thread?? Because I won't knock those that go to the gym.....but I'll be fucked if I'm going to go out of my way to compliment them on it....what's the purpose?? To feed their constant need of reassurance or their hard work?? Because if they ain't getting that from within they've got bigger issues than a fatty like me lol - Posted from rhpmobile the purpose of complimenting is obvious I would have thought, have you never given or received compliments? And where did I say I wanted you to compliment me? I get plenty of compliments, I don't need to go fishing for them. You missed my point, but no surprise there, thanks for your comment anyway
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RHP User
10 years ago
on that note, I'm not engaging with you, you got a bite, which was what you were after, I'm out. Long as you're happy the way you are, doesn't affect me
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari' You said, "At the risk of getting slammed I think the plus sized clothing stores feed this mentality of plus sized being a norm, those bastards should be shut down lol. If you run out of sizes, look in the mirror and have a long hard think about what you see and why you see this." At my worst I was 96kg and a size 18-22 depending where I shopped. Apart from the mental factor of HAVING to buy from the plus size range and believe me they don't make those clothes as pretty as smaller sizes. It seems the embellishments they out on the sizes 6-12/14 disappear by size 16 and is disheartening that outlets and designers tend to forget BIG WIMEN CAN BE BEAUTIFUL AND WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL TOO!!! What about all the heavier set elderly people out there who ARENT petite anymore? Want them walking around the streets naked with all the fatties being laughed at ridiculed by the body beautifuls? So you can feel better about yourselves. I hyperventilate walking to the mailbox and most gym junkies I pity while I'm enjoying my pasta, alcohol and sedentary lifestyle among friends who work hard and play harder. My BMI isn't in the health my weight range either.....when I was 52kg the asshole I was with was still calling me fat! There's no pleasing you people 🔫 I'll try to respond to your comment again, not sure what happened to my other comment. You say you pity gym junkies, although you hyperventilate walking to the mailbox and enjoy your indulgences, but you're also trying to lose weight? Am I correct? I'm sorry, due respect of course, but I'm confused by this. How can this mental state work towards being healthy, if you think it's so bad to be healthy? Not attacking you, just genuinely confused
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RHP User
10 years ago
not sure why anyone would pity gym junkies, reeks of sour grapes to me fitness is a lifestyle choice and very rewarding, just the same as one person loves to sit and eat potato chips watching the tv, a fit person will enjoy exercising. It's not a hardship, it's fun, I love it, but shoot me down for that, why not, what else have you got to do with your time
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RHP User
10 years ago
The local foreshore has gym like equipment along the walking track,you can park in the car park ..heaps of space and a cafe close by ,closed at night though. I dont know if there are similar parks anywhere else. Q
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RHP User
10 years ago
The problem is that losing weight and fitness are seen as virtues when they just should be what we all should aim for. I am currently looking at changes in my behaviour after yo yo dieting since the age of sixteen and a medical condition which prohibits me from even long walks. So I have engaged in a purposeful exercise program based on gardening and not buying high carb food when I go to the supermarket. Feelings of deprivation are the enemy of the dieter so I try to understand what those triggers are and how to overcome them, This is not a fast solution but it is so far working all be it sometimes two steps forward one step backwards. My main motivation has been my daughter..she needs me to be here for hopefully another twenty years..unless I do this I won't be Q
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RHP User
10 years ago
The local council is now placing 3 types of gym gear inour local parks and I think that is a great idea.
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RHP User
10 years ago
My heart goes out to you. If I lost my beautiful boy I would lose the will to live. A parent should never have to say goodbye to their child. Treasure the memories of the times you spent together. xxxxxxxx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Stirry, your lifestyle does make it hard for you to make healthy diet choices and exercise. Hopefully, you can come up with some innovative ideas and solutions to counteract the situation. Always love your comments - even when you are pissed off, you still come across as very level-headed and you never lose your cool. Very sexy! ;-) Q, my heart goes out to you. I really hope that you will be able to become healthier and live longer for your daughter. There's nothing in this world that is more precious than a parent's love. I always love reading different views and opinions on the forums and in real life, I crack really outrageous jokes about myself and everything / everyone else. I have a pretty wicked sense of humour that is of course, not appreciated by everyone but that's never my goal. If everyone sings the same tune and pat each other on their backs all the time, that is pretty narrow minded. It's like saying "I am only happy if you sing the same tune. If you sing a different tune, then you are nasty / mean / wicked, etc." *rolls eyes. Our opinions in the forum is just one aspect of us. Sometimes, I love to play the Devil's advocate just cause. Obviously, there isn't a lot of tolerance here when diverse opinions are expressed. LD, you have been at my back like a relentless Rottweiler for quite a while now. (Lili, you do that to me sometimes as well). Suffice to say that we will never see eye to eye. I will never bend and yield just so you will feel pleased with my comments. And you have been very judgemental yourself, and self-righteous. My point is, we are multi-faceted people and you do not know what I do for other people in real life. I subscribe to the "tough love" and "school of hard knocks" philosophy. I resent how people get torn to shreds here for expressing frank opinions. And LD, I do not think like you and whenever I attempt to explain my perspective, you apply your judgemental, self-righteous attitude hard on me again. You obviously have a preconceived notion, is very happy to hate someone if you think it's justifiable, and even when explanations are given, with one fell swoop, you write it off as lies. In real life, I'm not mean and nasty. Just like in real life, you may not be the little Miss Perfect fighting for injustice. The persona we all portray in the forums and on social media is just one facet. One can easily only say things that cause people to applaud and be collectively happy. But some of us are brave enough to present a different viewpoint which we know will be unpopular and trigger antagonism, especially amongst the older forumites here, who sometimes speak with a didactic tone that makes you wonder if they think they are above it all. I will continue to play the Devil's Advocate, I will continue to voice controversial ideas. Just cuz. Hate mail and all that, bring it on. It only makes me tougher and my personal goal is to let all the brickbats bounce right back off, water off a duck's back, ego mightily intact in spite of and despite. Gotta love autocorrect - "duck" got autocorrected to "dick"! LOL! Shows you how often I type" dick" on my mobile! LOL! If only lovey-dovey, mass orgy feel-good about ourselves stuff are the only things allowed in the forums, what a boring, self - indulgent place it will become! Some of us like to pad the walls with cotton wool and mollycoddle. Others like to tear off the cotton wool and add barb wire fencing and spikes. It all makes the world more diverse and more interesting. Mutually masturbatory comments get old sometimes.
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Re your expression of interest about gyms at truck-stops. To you it may sound like a sensible idea, but do you really think that such an idea would, in reality have much chance of succeeding ? All we (the general public) get fed is that truckers have to spend extraordinary hours at the wheel to simply make their deliveries to (unrealistic) schedule. Included in that scenario is that truckers therefore don't really have the opportunity to stop, and eat whilst on the move. So, even if you are lucky enough to be able to put down for a few minutes for a bite to eat (or fuel up), you don't really have the time available to spend time getting fit at a gym that might be conveniently located. Unfortunately, I don't think that you would get many (if any) travellers to share your enthusiasm for the idea. Even take a look at another audience. What about the longer distance drivers travelling for 'pleasure', such as going on holiday. All they want to do (generally) is get to their destination in the shortest possible time. So even when they stop for a coffee or a meal, they would soon be up and running again towards their destination. I admire your thought, and can see the sense in your wish, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for someone to see the light in it. Maybe a few bar-bells in your cab might be an answer ? Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
Firstly, I would implore people to not rely too heavily, or base potentially life-changing decisions directly on many of the "news" reports put forward by Channel Nine (or the other channels' news programs). Most all of these news services lost all credibility quite some time ago now (and well before the recent child abduction matter). At best, such reports should serve as a prompt to search/procure/read the sources for those stories. The broadcast stories themselves tend to be presented in a highly sensational and frequently misleading manner. Fortunately, some forum participants have contributed sensible fact based material for consideration here. If any of you are genuinely interested in media, you may find it worthwhile to bear in mind the subject of Ethics in media and keep an eye out for conflicts of interest. Vast numbers of manhours can be wasted in discussion and debate over BS media reports. How many manhours of broadcast time each year are devoted to Music and Movie promotion (or Kim Kardashian's arse!) being passed off as "News". Probably enough said... Secondly, I seek to express how thoroughly tedious it is to repeatedly read accusatory arguments as to "political correctness", or the right to relate an experience, or to express an opinion. Discussion Fora such as this one are a fantastic resource. However, their potential and enjoyment may be seriously degraded by some of the argument that takes place. It is entirely possible for participants to express a different (or even a dissenting) view without resorting to personally demeaning or degrading verbage. Granted, sometimes it is not easy. There are topics which touch on painful memories for some, and may therefore inspire emotive responses. It cannot be considered unreasonable that people participating in the forum expect a modicum of respect for their right to share in this resource. The right to express a view should not be thought to confer a right to have that view agreed. Further, whilst participants have the right to not agree with an expressed view, that does not confer the right to launch attacks on those with whom they do not agree. You could just leave well enough alone. I have done this myself many times. Sometimes, such as with this post, I have begun to lose my patience. Surely these are simple concepts. I have sought different ways to convey these concepts which might be understood. Some forum participants seem to repeatedly engage in slanging matches back and forth. I am intrigued by the suggestion by some forum posters (and not just here), that they distinguish, or discern some difference between their participation in online fora and "real life". I would dare point out online fora ARE real life! The attitudes and words people publish via this mode of communication can and do bear real life impacts on other participants. To think otherwise is to demonstrate a fundamental failure to understand communication. It might be helpful to remember the origin of the word and the concept: "Forum". With the concept of a physical forum in mind, I might draw an analogy to your local pub: As you make your way from your table full of friends to the Bar and back, you will no doubt overhear many conversations. How many of you would stop to interject? I'll wager many (read: most) would not. They would simply keep walking. I'm sure some individuals would stop and inject themselves into the conversation. Depending what the interloper had to say, the response from the other patrons may be positive, it may be quizzical. Then again, you may simply be told to F@ck Off!. Anyhow, I reckon it's about time I f@cked off.
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Seachange73
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Quoting 'On_Safari' I hyperventilate walking to the mailbox and most gym junkies I pity while I'm enjoying my pasta, alcohol and sedentary lifestyle among friends who work hard and play harder. My BMI isn't in the health my weight range either.....when I was 52kg the asshole I was with was still calling me fat! There's no pleasing you people 🔫 I'll try to respond to your comment again, not sure what happened to my other comment. You say you pity gym junkies, although you hyperventilate walking to the mailbox and enjoy your indulgences, but you're also trying to lose weight? Am I correct? I'm sorry, due respect of course, but I'm confused by this. How can this mental state work towards being healthy, if you think it's so bad to be healthy? Not attacking you, just genuinely confused IndY (On_Safari) may be a touch sarcastic there. she is pushing the envelope a bit there and the nuance of her message may have been lost on some. I have met her a few times in meet and greets and she does not look the type that would be hyperventilating walking to the mailbox. She is one sexy hot woman.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I just want to say that I'm so sorry for your loss x
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm sorry too. Don't even know what to say xx
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Seachange73
9 years ago
I have not read all comments lately and missed yours. I had to backtrack. I am sorry for your terrible loss. I can only imagine the immeasurable pain you are going thru at the moment. I am a parent to 2 great teenage boys, and my eldest is near your son's age. I too will be at lost at the thought of losing any of my boys. I know that as a parent, when my youngest got very sick a few years ago, I was in the hospital with him day and night and I did pray that if I could take the burden or the pain he is suffering then, I would at an instant. I hope you get some help to overcome your grief and take time to heal. Again, my deepest condolences.
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Quoting 'On_Safari' I hyperventilate walking to the mailbox and most gym junkies I pity while I'm enjoying my pasta, alcohol and sedentary lifestyle among friends who work hard and play harder. My BMI isn't in the health my weight range either.....when I was 52kg the asshole I was with was still calling me fat! There's no pleasing you people 🔫 IndY (On_Safari) may be a touch sarcastic there. she is pushing the envelope a bit there and the nuance of her message may have been lost on some. I have met her a few times in meet and greets and she does not look the type that would be hyperventilating walking to the mailbox. She is one sexy hot woman. I would say it would rather depend on who may be chasing her to said mailbox....
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RHP User
9 years ago
hahaha if you were anywhere in the vicinity I'm sure there'd be some hyperventilating going on
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
You betcha...and it wouldn't be mine.
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RHP User
9 years ago
That is devastating ..so sad hugs Q
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On_Safari
9 years ago
I've been all sizes 10-22. Currently 12-16 but with the way Chinese sweatshops size clothes I'm still predominantly a XL, XXL, XXXL or 12-16. Paul it's horrific for any parent to outlive their child and losing one so suddenly would kill even more. My heart goes out to you and although right now it doesn't seem like it this too will pass. Take your love and memories and treasure them and let them be your strength moving forward to catching life your boy would want you to have knowing he's waiting for his Bro' . Indy xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
for your kind thoughts, it is appreciated. I was just trying to show that sometimes circumsatances can change your weight, attitude, feelings etc. To all parents, relatives & friends of the 15-30yr age group, here is my Son's story. Ryan was a very happy, sporty, acidemic, hard working kid. He showed some signs of depression when the Ex & I split, not truly understanding that we were finished 10yrs prior. He did Yr11 @ TAFE, & his plumbing Pre App, had a wonderful G/F since he was 14 & secured an Apprenticeship. His boss was a nice guy that trusted him & gave him space to work out stuff for himself, which he excelled at, unfortunately he was never paid for the hrs he worked, underpaid, never got payslips or group cert's that showed tax paid, or super. I know this dragged him down, after a "tyraid" of abuse he finally walked out. He felt he had let us down, never the case, I was proud of what he acheived & that he'd stood up for himself. His 4wd that he swapped for the ute he owned, cost $7K for the RWC, leaving him in debt, which got him down as well, I told him "show me a man that's never made a mistake, & I'll show you a man that's never done anything" & assured him that $7K is nothing over a life time. So he was out of work, in debt, but still had our support & the "love of his life" Brooke. Without any money, he still got access to "ICE", was on and off it, disappeared for from his Mum's house for Wk's @ a time, he didn't want her to see him that way, nor that she know, nor I know. He got another apprenticeship, again, underpaid, only paid for the hrs he worked if less than 40, but not paid O/t if more hrs were worked, w/end work, no super etc. Unfortunately this type of thing is "rife" in the domestic bldg industry. He kept up with his schooling, even though at times he had to work, rather than attend Tafe. My Boy was no "Angel", but he always worked hard, helped ppl, had manners & respect. More to come. Paul.
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RHP User
9 years ago
tell us more, when you can, so bloody sad, heart breaks for you. I'm a Mother, my kids are 19 and 23. I couldn't imagine losing a child. That kind of grief would be devastating xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm seeing my son tomorrow. I plan on giving him a bigger hug than normal
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