M46 F41
Kids = A deal breaker ???
May 20 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
the following are the reasons why I refuse to play with someone who has children - . 1. I dont like to be cancelled on at the last minute because something has hapopened - babysitter didnt show, kid fallen ill, etc etc . 2. Invariably people with children end up talking about them - I dont want to know anything about them, there are other things you can talk about . 3. Where singles are concerned - often a friendship can develop or they ask you to meet their kids - not after that thankyou I dont want to confuse the kids...I am not mummy or daddies girlfriend and dont want your kids to be a part of my life . 4. Being parents mean it can be difficult to organise a place to play - and if the people you are approaching cant host then it can seem a little daunting . 5. The amount of time and effort that gos into organising a play date with parents is just too much...why would I bother when there a childless people out there I could play with in a much quicker time frame?? . 6. Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane . Hope this answered a few of your questions . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Lets sit down and talk about my kids...... only kidding
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'focusliason' the following are the reasons why I refuse to play with someone who has children - . 1. I dont like to be cancelled on at the last minute because something has hapopened - babysitter didnt show, kid fallen ill, etc etc . 2. Invariably people with children end up talking about them - I dont want to know anything about them, there are other things you can talk about . 3. Where singles are concerned - often a friendship can develop or they ask you to meet their kids - not after that thankyou I dont want to confuse the kids...I am not mummy or daddies girlfriend and dont want your kids to be a part of my life . 4. Being parents mean it can be difficult to organise a place to play - and if the people you are approaching cant host then it can seem a little daunting . 5. The amount of time and effort that gos into organising a play date with parents is just too much...why would I bother when there a childless people out there I could play with in a much quicker time frame?? . 6. Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane . Hope this answered a few of your questions . Kisses Focus Well done Focus, succinct and to the point LOL xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
HiOooh, some harsh words there, but I don't doubt that it will ring true for many childless people (and I would have probably said the same until we had our boys). I must say, we've never experienced this ourselves; probably because the people we play with also have children (not out of any preference, just the way it has worked out) and therefore they understand completely. It's never been an issue, either in terms of 'conversation themes' (it can be an ice-breaker) or actually playing - or at least, not that we've been aware of!Perhaps you should look at others with similar family commitments and you'll be laughing (or moaning). Having children is a wonderful and happy thing and it's right that you work your play-dates around how/what you feel comfortable with. Just my thoughts,J
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'focusliason' the following are the reasons why I refuse to play with someone who has children - . 1. I dont like to be cancelled on at the last minute because something has hapopened - babysitter didnt show, kid fallen ill, etc etc . 2. Invariably people with children end up talking about them - I dont want to know anything about them, there are other things you can talk about . 3. Where singles are concerned - often a friendship can develop or they ask you to meet their kids - not after that thankyou I dont want to confuse the kids...I am not mummy or daddies girlfriend and dont want your kids to be a part of my life . 4. Being parents mean it can be difficult to organise a place to play - and if the people you are approaching cant host then it can seem a little daunting . 5. The amount of time and effort that gos into organising a play date with parents is just too much...why would I bother when there a childless people out there I could play with in a much quicker time frame?? . 6. Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane . Hope this answered a few of your questions . Kisses Focus 1) we dont talk about our kids at play dates2) We never ask the play date to meet our children and never would3) we have not had a problem meeting others with children at whatever destination has worked for all4) we are completely sane having had children, would not change a thing and look forward to enjoying grandchildren one day.and last of all but not least there are many lovely couples that look like they could be great fun to play with and to reject them because they have children could ultimately end up as your loss.cindy
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RHP User
15 years ago
we have found that we have more problem with couples asking to meet up like the very next day or even that day and when you cant then you never hear from them again, meaning its now or never kind of scenario.those of us who do have children understand what it takes to arrange a night around the children and that there could be a possibility that something could come up which makes us more coniderate i guess.Ultimately judging by the comment made above which 'summed it all up' there are those that will reject you purely because you have children but at the end of the day it will be their loss not yours :)cindy
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RHP User
15 years ago
The attitude of Focus is entirely understandable. She has chosen to never have children and as someone with kids I understand how frustrating it can be if you get a call half an hour away from the meet saying "Sorry, Little Johnny is sick and I need to go pick him up" I understand and talk about the kids, I never have a man meet them though.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I suddenly feel like we're better off without the childless... Have definitly found that those who do have children are more accepting and understanding. We're a RAD couple, and for certain - those who bail because we have a couple of ankle biters - are missing out.
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RHP User
15 years ago
But the best thing is, you will always know where you stand with her. Though if I offered to tie her up and promising never to mention the fact that I have 3 children and to drive her totally nuts over the space of a weekend she would have no problem with it. It's her choice not to deal with children and I can respect that. I don't like to mix the two either. Never the twain shall meet Now if you two would like to go for a nice drive Im sure we could organise a group babysitter ..........
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have two kids who I love and adore and would do absolutely anything for...but at the same time I can totaly understand where focus is coming from. The question was why do kids = deal breaker and I think that what she's said is true for a lot of people. Even though I have my own I can certainly see her point.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' Now if you two would like to go for a nice drive Im sure we could organise a group babysitter ..........We know someone who's willing to babysit for $7.50 an hour.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' But the best thing is, you will always know where you stand with her. Though if I offered to tie her up and promising never to mention the fact that I have 3 children and to drive her totally nuts over the space of a weekend she would have no problem with it. It's her choice not to deal with children and I can respect that. I don't like to mix the two either. Never the twain shall meet Now if you two would like to go for a nice drive Im sure we could organise a group babysitter .......... Quoting 'focusliason' the following are the reasons why I refuse to play with someone who has children - . 1. I dont like to be cancelled on at the last minute because something has hapopened - babysitter didnt show, kid fallen ill, etc etc . 2. Invariably people with children end up talking about them - I dont want to know anything about them, there are other things you can talk about . 3. Where singles are concerned - often a friendship can develop or they ask you to meet their kids - not after that thankyou I dont want to confuse the kids...I am not mummy or daddies girlfriend and dont want your kids to be a part of my life . 4. Being parents mean it can be difficult to organise a place to play - and if the people you are approaching cant host then it can seem a little daunting . 5. The amount of time and effort that gos into organising a play date with parents is just too much...why would I bother when there a childless people out there I could play with in a much quicker time frame?? . 6. Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane . Hope this answered a few of your questions . Kisses Focuswell i agreed with you up to number 6 when you called children grotty parasitic creatures,you obvisiously will never fully be happy in your life because i think the most amazing experience in life is giving life,it comes down to the parents how they bring them up to be grotty ,i have three wonderful boy's that give me the most joy imagineable so for you to stand there and call children grotty creatures get a bloody life
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' But the best thing is, you will always know where you stand with her. Though if I offered to tie her up and promising never to mention the fact that I have 3 children and to drive her totally nuts over the space of a weekend she would have no problem with it. It's her choice not to deal with children and I can respect that. I don't like to mix the two either. Never the twain shall meet Now if you two would like to go for a nice drive Im sure we could organise a group babysitter .......... Quoting 'focusliason' the following are the reasons why I refuse to play with someone who has children - . 1. I dont like to be cancelled on at the last minute because something has hapopened - babysitter didnt show, kid fallen ill, etc etc . 2. Invariably people with children end up talking about them - I dont want to know anything about them, there are other things you can talk about . 3. Where singles are concerned - often a friendship can develop or they ask you to meet their kids - not after that thankyou I dont want to confuse the kids...I am not mummy or daddies girlfriend and dont want your kids to be a part of my life . 4. Being parents mean it can be difficult to organise a place to play - and if the people you are approaching cant host then it can seem a little daunting . 5. The amount of time and effort that gos into organising a play date with parents is just too much...why would I bother when there a childless people out there I could play with in a much quicker time frame?? . 6. Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane . Hope this answered a few of your questions . Kisses Focuswell i agreed with you up to number 6 when you called children grotty parasitic creatures,you obvisiously will never fully be happy in your life because i think the most amazing experience in life is giving life,it comes down to the parents how they bring them up to be grotty ,i have three wonderful boy's that give me the most joy imagineable so for you to stand there and call children grotty creatures get a bloody life
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' But the best thing is, you will always know where you stand with her. Though if I offered to tie her up and promising never to mention the fact that I have 3 children and to drive her totally nuts over the space of a weekend she would have no problem with it. It's her choice not to deal with children and I can respect that. I don't like to mix the two either. Never the twain shall meet Now if you two would like to go for a nice drive Im sure we could organise a group babysitter .......... Quoting 'focusliason' the following are the reasons why I refuse to play with someone who has children - . 1. I dont like to be cancelled on at the last minute because something has hapopened - babysitter didnt show, kid fallen ill, etc etc . 2. Invariably people with children end up talking about them - I dont want to know anything about them, there are other things you can talk about . 3. Where singles are concerned - often a friendship can develop or they ask you to meet their kids - not after that thankyou I dont want to confuse the kids...I am not mummy or daddies girlfriend and dont want your kids to be a part of my life . 4. Being parents mean it can be difficult to organise a place to play - and if the people you are approaching cant host then it can seem a little daunting . 5. The amount of time and effort that gos into organising a play date with parents is just too much...why would I bother when there a childless people out there I could play with in a much quicker time frame?? . 6. Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane . Hope this answered a few of your questions . Kisses Focuswell i agreed with you up to number 6 when you called children grotty parasitic creatures,you obvisiously will never fully be happy in your life because i think the most amazing experience in life is giving life,it comes down to the parents how they bring them up to be grotty ,i have three wonderful boy's that give me the most joy imagineable so for you to stand there and call children grotty creatures get a bloody life
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why on earth, does having children, scare people away? Someone please enlighten us. ., Cinmik and Foreverlove, I gave answers to a question (above) based on my personal preference, the people choosing not to play with you as you have children are showing that they have a simiilar personal preference... . Point 3 : Where singles are concerned - often a friendship can develop or they ask you to meet their kids - not after that thankyou I dont want to confuse the kids...I am not mummy or daddies girlfriend and dont want your kids to be a part of my life I chose to mention singles as I know there are many single parents (both Male and Female) on here and at times these people do find someone they would like to explore a relationship with. I dont want children in my life and thought I would assist those who are single parents to also understand why someone like myself may not be interested...I do understand that many couples do not do this (introduce playmates to the children)...but I did clearly state that this point was about singles...I apologise for not having solely stuck to the question from a couples perspective....I thought it was a generic question aimed at peoples rejection of others because they have children . Point 6: v Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane v Said tongue in cheek - as DGT and Fionabee stated I am very much a child free zone, I dont want any, dont want them to be a part of my life...I understand that having them is your choice and I applaud you for having them its also my choice not to have them and to not associate with them. . Of course other people with children are going to be more understanding about the constraints involved in your situation - they have the same constraints. , Please also be aware I did state at the beginning of my post that it was a list of reasons why I choose not to play with people who have children...others may have different reasons. ., Fionabee - isnt it enough I put up with your kids on occassion - do we have to talk about them as well??? . Andraxx - thanks hun...I thought I had answered the question asked too - oh well it may be my lose for not playing with people who have children but it all about personal choice and if I have to hear about what little Johnny did at school this week or what award he one for what ever reason I'm going to get bored very quickly...lol...I'm sure you would never do that to me though . InAdditionTo - I agree with your point about making arrangements with people in similar situations, it does make sense to make arrangements with people who are understanding of your constraints. I didnt ment to be harsh - just honest about why i choose not to play with people with children..I am sure having children is a wonderful experience for you I just choose for it not to be a part of my life. . DGT - you nuaghty girl...thankyou for your words in defence...but if you promise not to mention the parasites and promise to pleasure me for a whole weekend then maybe - just maybe - I will make an exception to the rule - but only for you (oh and possibly Andraxx - cant have the boys feeling left out) . Kisses Focus .
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'winging_it' . 6. Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane . Hope this answered a few of your questions . Kisses Focuswell i agreed with you up to number 6 when you called children grotty parasitic creatures,you obvisiously will never fully be happy in your life because i think the most amazing experience in life is giving life,it comes down to the parents how they bring them up to be grotty ,i have three wonderful boy's that give me the most joy imagineable so for you to stand there and call children grotty creatures get a bloody life This post came up while I was compiling my previous post but wingingit I have a very select sense of humour - not everyone gets it and point 6 was actually said tongue in cheek (regular forum readers know my stance on children having posted this many times but I recognise that not everyone reading it would know this) though I have to wonder why I can only be happy if I have children in my life. I know others who have not had children (including 1 of my Great Aunts) and they have, and do, lead a very happy and fulfilling my life...begs me to think that if you feel that that is your biggest accomplishment in life then maybe it is you who should look at furthering other aspects of your life - and you cant tell me that wiping snotty noses and cleaning dirty bums isnt grotty. . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'focusliason' and you cant tell me that wiping snotty noses and cleaning dirty bums isnt grotty. Honestly, they aren't any grottier than any adult on the planet... Going back over your original post - surely not all childless people feel the same as you? It's clear that you do not like children, and will never have any - but theres a large % of people who don't have children now, that surely will in 5 or so years - so what is it for THEM - that makes us a no-go zone? The probability of them ever crossing paths with our children is slim to none... As is us talking about our children, unless asked. The other points you posted (bar the last one!), I understand though. (As they all are linked with what I wrote in the original post re: not being able to drop everything and play now.)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'winging_it' . .well i agreed with you up to number 6 when you called children grotty parasitic creatures,you obvisiously will never fully be happy in your life because i think the most amazing experience in life is giving life,it comes down to the parents how they bring them up to be grotty ,i have three wonderful boy's that give me the most joy imagineable so for you to stand there and call children grotty creatures get a bloody life So your children are meticulously clean? Never ever have grubby little sticky hands? Chocolate covered faces and dirt encrusted knees? There white socks are always white, soft and fluffy and not stiff and smelly with little boy smell and toejams? There are no food stains spilled down the front of thier last clean school uniform? Wow!!!! How the hell did you manage that? Anyone with a lick if sense knows that children are grotty little beasts. Focus has a life and it is her choice not to include children iin that life. If you cannot honestly see the tongue firmly wedged in her cheek as she wrote the above....maybe you need to get the life. She did say it was HER reasons for not playing with people with kids. l Focus...yes you put up with my grotty children...as my eldest grotty little parasitic creature, you have no choice!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'winging_it' you obvisiously will never fully be happy in your life because i think the most amazing experience in life is giving life,Having children or not having children is a personal choice. Telling someone they will never be fully happy because they have made a choice that is different to the one that you made is narrow minded and insulting.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Personally, I think being pre-dispositioned to someone with or without children makes about as much sense as having a pre-disposition to someone who is right handed or left handed. I admire those that have made a choice to remain childless and equally if not perhaps more so...a single mother or father that has the capacity to be a good parent, a good friend and perhaps even a good lover. Those are choices...not dogmatic paradigms in a world that is complex enough without judgement. | I am certainly not about to engage in nor entertain a flame war, but what would happen if I took that same list of reasons that Focus has listed and applied the fact that I am a busy professional juggling a few business interests in the air 24/7 and wish at times there were more hours in the day? Here based on that alone is how I could come up if I substitute "business" for "children"... | 1. Guilty - 2. Guilty - 3. Guilty (I may ask you along on a business function if I really like you and think you might enjoy it too) - 4. Guilty (There are days when I don't know at 7:00 a.m. what part of the state I might be in later in the day) - 5. Guilty | Now as for number 6, well I do have two dogs. So if "grotty parasitic creatures" that will jump in your lap wagging their tail or make you laugh your ass off when the one that isn't a Rottie thinks she is and the other that is supposed to be a killer hides behind her then he jumps to her rescue when she gets lost in the park...we are definitely not a match. | So then if we take the composite...seems like a childless, unemployed (or "9 to 5er) with no pets would be a near perfect match? | Hope you do realize that was all a bit tongue-in-cheek...and maybe a bit cheeky if we don't simply accept that we all have and do make our own decisions and choices.... | ...and none of them are wrong.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Damn! I was so close CM - Childless? Check! No Pets?? Check! But its the 9-5 bit that got me - I'm 6 - 3 damn damn and blast!!! . 1. How do you manage to meet people if you cancel at the last minute?? Sheesh there must be more tolerant people than me out there...lol . 2.To my mind however CM I think that business would be whole lot more interesting to discuss than children. Discussions about the type of work you do can lead to very interesting conversation...in my mind...conversations about children is, and does not. . 3. Any excuse to dress up for me - I just love it...and if we are at the stage where I am being introduced to work colleagues can I please please please tell them about your shoe fetish??? . 4. Surely you have a motel room booked by then though?? And if you now you are flying in and have already got an accomodting person waiting at the other end then you have already got past the nuisance part of undertsnading and accepting and they are willing to over look your short comings of being a professional. . 5. See above , 6. You will be jumping in my lap??? Hmmm do hope you plan on doing something else while there and not just wagging your bum. . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
It's all about perspectives...and possibility thinking.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'foreverlove7985' Going back over your original post - surely not all childless people feel the same as you? It's clear that you do not like children, and will never have any - but theres a large % of people who don't have children now, that surely will in 5 or so years - so what is it for THEM - that makes us a no-go zone? The probability of them ever crossing paths with our children is slim to none... As is us talking about our children, unless asked. The other points you posted (bar the last one!), I understand though. (As they all are linked with what I wrote in the original post re: not being able to drop everything and play now.) But that si the point isnt it?? They dont have children now, and while they might in time choose to have them, for now they dont and thus dont understand your constraints fully, they may be able to empathise your situation but not fully understand it. . Many people are seeking a kind of instant gratification and you dont offer that. Purely and simply its about what we want also (our needs are just as important as your own) and if that means someone to play with right now and not having to wait for a few weeks while you sort something out then thats what we want. . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'focusliason' Damn! I was so close CM - Childless? Check! No Pets?? Check! But its the 9-5 bit that got me - I'm 6 - 3 damn damn and blast!!! . 1. How do you manage to meet people if you cancel at the last minute?? Sheesh there must be more tolerant people than me out there...lol . 2.To my mind however CM I think that business would be whole lot more interesting to discuss than children. Discussions about the type of work you do can lead to very interesting conversation...in my mind...conversations about children is, and does not. . 3. Any excuse to dress up for me - I just love it...and if we are at the stage where I am being introduced to work colleagues can I please please please tell them about your shoe fetish??? . 4. Surely you have a motel room booked by then though?? And if you now you are flying in and have already got an accomodting person waiting at the other end then you have already got past the nuisance part of undertsnading and accepting and they are willing to over look your short comings of being a professional. . 5. See above , 6. You will be jumping in my lap??? Hmmm do hope you plan on doing something else while there and not just wagging your bum. . Kisses Focus I think what some may find insulting is the insinutation that because you have children then it is quite possible you will be unreliable, also whether tongue in cheek or not to call children grotty and parasitic is just not on. You were a grotty parasite too then I take it once upon a time. I applaud the fact that you want to go through life with no children, alone, that is your choice to make. As a single proffesional woman with 3 children I find the generalisation offensive, I could give a rats ass if it was a joke, how about we generalise that you as single woman with no children at your age is a little sad and pathetic as it is not the norm I am sure you would not find it quite so funny then. But hey its just a joke right?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'goldcoastgirl30' Quoting 'focusliason' Damn! I was so close CM - Childless? Check! No Pets?? Check! But its the 9-5 bit that got me - I'm 6 - 3 damn damn and blast!!! . 1. How do you manage to meet people if you cancel at the last minute?? Sheesh there must be more tolerant people than me out there...lol . 2.To my mind however CM I think that business would be whole lot more interesting to discuss than children. Discussions about the type of work you do can lead to very interesting conversation...in my mind...conversations about children is, and does not. . 3. Any excuse to dress up for me - I just love it...and if we are at the stage where I am being introduced to work colleagues can I please please please tell them about your shoe fetish??? . 4. Surely you have a motel room booked by then though?? And if you now you are flying in and have already got an accomodting person waiting at the other end then you have already got past the nuisance part of undertsnading and accepting and they are willing to over look your short comings of being a professional. . 5. See above , 6. You will be jumping in my lap??? Hmmm do hope you plan on doing something else while there and not just wagging your bum. . Kisses Focus I think what some may find insulting is the insinutation that because you have children then it is quite possible you will be unreliable, also whether tongue in cheek or not to call children grotty and parasitic is just not on. You were a grotty parasite too then I take it once upon a time. I applaud the fact that you want to go through life with no children, alone, that is your choice to make. As a single proffesional woman with 3 children I find the generalisation offensive, I could give a rats ass if it was a joke, how about we generalise that you as single woman with no children at your age is a little sad and pathetic as it is not the norm I am sure you would not find it quite so funny then. But hey its just a joke right? Sorry Luvey but children are parasitic grotty little beasts whether you like it or not. It is not the fact that people find it offensive to think they may be unreliable BECAUSE they have children at all. The ones that have objected are ones that dont like thier precious little cherubs being called grotty or parasitic. And, pray tell, why is this not on? This is the opinion of Focus .....and she is entiteld to HER opinion the same as anyone else on here. She clearly stated that they were the reasons why SHE did not play with people with children. She has said it has been HER experience. Focus never singled you or your children out specifically so why then would you single her out specifically UNLESS she accidently struck a chord deep within. I have been let down at the very last minute when a child got sick so I can certainly understand where she is coming from and I have had to turn a friend away as one of mine were sick. l Going through life with no children does not mean that you are alone...and I think you would find that it is quite the norm these days for a woman to reach the age of thirty three and still be childless as more and more women leave the childbearing until the late thirties early forties and concentrate on thier career first.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Personally, I think being pre-dispositioned to someone with or without children makes about as much sense as having a pre-disposition to someone who is right handed or left handed. | | | Those damn left handed types are a pain. They cannot sharpen the knife correctly, they look like they are about to do themselves (and anyone in the nearest vacinity) a serious injury when carving the sunday roast or hammering a nail and the worst thing of all is that they always want to sleep on the wrongg side of the bed...... my bloody side!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Not only that they are vindictive and they know how to get what they want. I still love the little bugger but I reckon Focus is dead on. You need to stay out of the sun gold coast girl, it's frying your brain cells either that or all the recent rain has driven you crazy. If someone says they are saying something tongue in cheek and it doesn't work, get over it. They tried, they failed in your mind and they succeeded in others. Political correctness, it fucking shits me the cunts that can't take a joke (in bad taste or not).
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RHP User
15 years ago
I was playing with words in a rather vacuous albeit easily misunderstood reference to "grotty parasitic little creatures". Children are a delight...I let mine out to play very regularly and when he finds a little girl that has been let loose to run about freely and without a care, magic happens. We all have an inner child...it is a pity indeed that we as adult can not take on the world through the eyes of a child more frequently. Sure, when I let my little inner child boy out to play...he is grotty, may have ice cream on his nose and loves every minute of his life. | They don't turn parasitic until they become cynical adults who have lost that innocent sense of humour and wonderment in all that surrounds them...but that is the way of the world.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' I was playing with words in a rather vacuous albeit easily misunderstood reference to "grotty parasitic little creatures". Children are a delight...I let mine out to play very regularly and when he finds a little girl that has been let loose to run about freely and without a care, magic happens. We all have an inner child...it is a pity indeed that we as adult can not take on the world through the eyes of a child more frequently. Sure, when I let my little inner child boy out to play...he is grotty, may have ice cream on his nose and loves every minute of his life. | They don't turn parasitic until they become cynical adults who have lost that innocent sense of humour and wonderment in all that surrounds them...but that is the way of the world.I cant see any misunderstood reference but hey thats just me and Fionabee I was just expressing my opinion too as we are all entitled to do. Sometimes comments that are made like the ones we are all referencing are just a case of sour grapes but hey thats just my opinion, some just think they are better than others when they have absolutly no reason to.Some are jealous because they are aware that marriage or children probably will not be on the cards for them like it is for others.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I find it interesting how everyone is jumping on the 'Focus is allowed to voice her own opinion' train, yet when others voice theirs, people bring out the claws?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'goldcoastgirl30' I think what some may find insulting is the insinutation that because you have children then it is quite possible you will be unreliable, also whether tongue in cheek or not to call children grotty and parasitic is just not on. You were a grotty parasite too then I take it once upon a time. I applaud the fact that you want to go through life with no children, alone, that is your choice to make. As a single proffesional woman with 3 children I find the generalisation offensive, I could give a rats ass if it was a joke, how about we generalise that you as single woman with no children at your age is a little sad and pathetic as it is not the norm I am sure you would not find it quite so funny then. But hey its just a joke right? Because you do have children does mean that there will be an instance or two that you do cancel on someone because of something going wrong with the child. Even more so if you are a single parent - its just what happens...rightly so you put your child before anyone else. This does make you unreliable - sorry but its the truth (as a single parent with a cast of 100's as previously stated) . Definition of a parasite - An organism that lives in or on another organism (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the host's expense. Tell me how a foetus (then child) does not fit into this catergory??? Grotty - it is unpleasant and you dislike it strongly (pretty much sums up my view doesn't it?? An apt description coming from someones personal dislike of them) As for how grotty or parasitic I may have been (or still am) we must ask my Mother...lucky for you she is here - Fionabee could you field this one for me??? . Alone?? By whos definition?? I am 33 sweetheart and while I may have chosen to have a childless life there are others out there (males even) who have also chosen this life. Why does being childless equate to being alone??? I can have a very fulfilling life and relationship without having to add children to the mix. Do I detect a little jealousy that I can have the life I chose to without the encumberance of childre at 3 years your senior - something you obviously miss out? . Generalisations are abundant and can often get you into trouble. Sweetheart if you wish to find it sad that I can be a single, independant, professional woman without the added encumberance of having to raise children on my own (a generalisation about your own situation) that it is not the norm (especially as we see more and more people leaving child birth to their late 30's early 40's) then go right ahead but I honestly didnt think you would have the time with your otherwise full schedule - it cant be easy juggling a career, 3 children and finding someone to play with in your limited free time. Oh and that generalisation is made about me so often that I am used to it - usually by single women around my own age who have the arduous task of raising children on their own. hmmmmmmmm . As I have stated over and over again and did so in the beginning post - they were MY reasons for choosing not to play with people with children. The OP did ask for someone to enlighten them as to why people get rejected for having kids. This was a list of reasons as to why I reject people based on that circumstance. . Why is it that people have taken more offense to my tongue in cheek regularly said comment about children being grotty and parasitic that has caused so much angst??? Does having children now mean you lose your sense of humour or have the people who have objected to this discovered the secret on having perfect angelic children that can defend for themselves from the very beginning of life??? Sheesh you should market that because I am sure you will make an absolute fortune! . As for the post you quoted that was Chasing Midnight and myself having a little dig at each other...you may not realise it but both him and I are regulars on the forum and as such have developed a rapport with one another - as do many forum regulars - from time to time we like to take each others posts and have a friendy little dig at them. The only person I singled out in the particular post you quoted was Chasing Midnight (oh and his dogs) so why would you take particular offense to his slant on being a professional and the tribulations that in itself brings to him and not my initial post?? Did I create a double wammy for you being a professional single mum? . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Was indeed a grotty little parasitic beast. She was a little round child with fat, sticky starfish hands. She hated to be touched and from the age of three months would actively push away........ making up for it now dearie? She was a very messy child and if her stepsister did not share a room, she would have been buried under an avalanch of crap. Her room was similar to the sterotypical teenaged boys room. These days she is self supporting. Which is nice as I get lovely gifts on birthdays and at christmas. I have not had to bail her out of trouble. BUT when she gets sick, she turns back into a whiney parasite who rings her mother and asks me to make her chicken soup...something she can make quite well herself! Whinges on the phone for me to travel hundreds of kilometres to look after her! Constantly reminds me that I travel an hour to look after her stepsister when she is sick...(not so....... I look after her parasitic kids who just cannot look after themselves.) l Thats it Focus.....More beatings for you....You parasite..... l only question is...... l who do you want me to chose to administer the beatings?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' We all have an inner child...it is a pity indeed that we as adult can not take on the world through the eyes of a child more frequently. Sure, when I let my little inner child boy out to play...he is grotty, may have ice cream on his nose and loves every minute of his life. |So true CM. I regularly indulge my inner child, play on swings, throw myself to the floor kicking and screaming in supermarkets, have play dates, kick through the autumn leaves and catch a snowflake on my tongue.
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RHP User
15 years ago
This thread is hilarious...... * its about meeting folks with/without kids and the resulting preferences.... * stirring the pot as usual.... mother & daughter tag team bwahahahahahaha.....funny as. . Foreverlove......dont let it worry you too much, sadly you too will get used to the comedy of words that ensue from their posts....trying to pound down most readers and participants that their thoughts are the only thoughts and the way the world should be.... Just have a huge grain of salt ready, eventually they just become the equivilent of white noise.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' This thread is hilarious...... * its about meeting folks with/without kids and the resulting preferences.... * stirring the pot as usual.... mother & daughter tag team bwahahahahahaha.....funny as. . Foreverlove......dont let it worry you too much, sadly you too will get used to the comedy of words that ensue from their posts....trying to pound down most readers and participants that their thoughts are the only thoughts and the way the world should be.... Just have a huge grain of salt ready, eventually they just become the equivilent of white noise. Aww Ruby I lubs ya! Straight to the point and no messing around! I love it how you say it as you see it! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
lol....yes, you do know me.... And I know that you place your role as a mum before pleasure as well. Like others on this site, male & female, either through choice or unable to conceive, I dont have kids. Many others do have kids and the responsible ones will take them into consideration when planning adult play time. My experience has been those who dont give a damn about their kids and just want to get their wick wet dont give a damn about you either. They are not interested in you as a person, just you as a body. The ulimate in no strings attached. Not my choice for a fun time, I prefer some sort of connection. . Regardless of anyone who is active on rhp age...20's 30's 40's 50's.....kids are a fact of life. They (who ever the hell 'they' are)...say that like attracts like....eg: people with a similar view on life end up getting to know each other, somehow, someway. . The ones where you dont see eye to eye on life's basics......meh, both parties have ended up dodging each others bullets.
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RHP User
15 years ago
How is it that I answered the question asked from my perspective - as I have done on other threads about the same topic - but I am stirring the pot????? . I then clarify my position based on the comments given resulting from my initial post - and I am stirring the pot??? . I get attacked personally for having a joke - yet I am stirring the pot???? . I apologise for not everyone getting my joke (and offending a few)...yet I am stirring the pot??? . I am told I am sad, going to be alone, and now that obviously marriage and children are never on the cards for me (maybe because I chose not to have that which is apparently the 'norm' and something 'everyone' wants) yet I am stirring the pot?? ,. Please Ruby and funloving tell me how this is so??? The two of you would be aware of the way posts are done here and because some comments appear before my own doesnt mean they were there when I commented. We are all aware of some having instant posting and others not. . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
You were the first to answer the thread.... and believe it or not, I and many others agree with some of your points 1 to 5. . Then you go onto your point number 6.......dont try to tell me you never thought your choice of words wasnt going to elicit some form of backlash........and that is stirring the pot. "6. Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane" As usual...after some people are offended by your opinion, you brush it off saying it was meant to be tongue in cheek....you mum jumps in and you both attempt to justify your comments......and plead innocent .....again. . And now, you will have a shot at me for calling you on it... Its so predictable its becoming very boring.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Quoting 'ruby_blossum' This thread is hilarious...... * its about meeting folks with/without kids and the resulting preferences.... * stirring the pot as usual.... mother & daughter tag team bwahahahahahaha.....funny as. . Foreverlove......dont let it worry you too much, sadly you too will get used to the comedy of words that ensue from their posts....trying to pound down most readers and participants that their thoughts are the only thoughts and the way the world should be.... Just have a huge grain of salt ready, eventually they just become the equivilent of white noise. Aww Ruby I lubs ya! Straight to the point and no messing around! I love it how you say it as you see it! xFunlovingx How wrong is that? Focus and I never mess about together and we will never go tag team. That is just Yuck yuck yuck. Nope, no way, no how! Get your minds out of the gutter ladies for what you are suggesting is somewhat incestuous and abhorrent. Quoting 'Replyforfun' Not only that they are vindictive and they know how to get what they want. I still love the little bugger but I reckon Focus is dead on. You need to stay out of the sun gold coast girl, it's frying your brain cells either that or all the recent rain has driven you crazy. If someone says they are saying something tongue in cheek and it doesn't work, get over it. They tried, they failed in your mind and they succeeded in others. Political correctness, it fucking shits me the cunts that can't take a joke (in bad taste or not).So very right. SOME of us can take a joke even though we have raised heaps of kids single handedly and continue to take in the kids who's parents do neglect them for other past times.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'goldcoastgirl30' humour and wonderment in all that surrounds them...but that is the way of the world.Fionabee I was just expressing my opinion too as we are all entitled to do. Sometimes comments that are made like the ones we are all referencing are just a case of sour grapes but hey thats just my opinion, some just think they are better than others when they have absolutly no reason to.Some are jealous because they are aware that marriage or children probably will not be on the cards for them like it is for others. Yes you are entitled to our opinion UNLESS your opinion personally attacks another member. As we have both clearly stated...Focus gave HER opinion. She did not single you or anyone else out. These are HER opinions. Obviously you have issues with someone saying things about children in general and see it as a personal affront to yourself and perhaps your mothering abilities. Remember...you attacked MY CHILD and I feel I would be lacking in my mothering skills if I did not in some way defend her. The forum forbid I ignore MY CHILD! Let me hereby clarify that there is absolutely no reason why Focus cannot have children....she just does not want them so it is not a matter of sour grapes at all. There is no jealousy on either side. I have never wanted mariage, been engaged three times and always pulled out before the big day. There is no reason why I or Focus cannot get married.....if we so desire! Who is to say that it is not on the cards for either of us? We dont know what is around the corner. I imagine that those with three children may find it difficult to re-marry until the kiddies are grown and gone though. As for having any more children? Anytime I feel really really clucky, there are more than enough neglected little scraps of humanity out there to keep me well and truly occupied. l If you dont want others to get personal......then keep things general yourself.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I regularly refer to children as grotty parasitic creatures - day to day life included...was only a few who took offence to it - other saw it as the joke it was (and a few even agree with me that they are)...I apologised for making what some consider to be an ill worded joke - yet am attacked personally...my choices are going to make a sad lonely woman apparently....not everyone gets my sense of humour...not everyone agrees with my life choices...but I dont see it as stirring the pot...however what everyone seems to take offence to is me calling children grotty and parasitic only one questioned the fact that I consider people who have children as crazy..... . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' and the resulting preferences.... * stirring the pot as usual.... mother & daughter tag team bwahahahahahaha.....funny as. It is becoming increasingly obvious that you sit back, read the forums, say nothing for weeks and then when I make an inflamatory statement back against someone...you dive right in like a fox terrier yapping at the heels about how I am stirring the pot. Hello Kettle!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'foreverlove7985'I find it interesting how everyone is jumping on the 'Focus is allowed to voice her own opinion' train, yet when others voice theirs, people bring out the claws? But when someone gets attacked personally for their life choices shouldnt the person being attacked be allowed to defend their posotion and person??? And of course Fionabee will jump to my defence - as would you if someone was questioning YOUR childs life choices publicly. . I answered your question from my perspective - and it appears I am the only person who rejects people based on the fact they have children who is game enough to state their reasons publicly. I know I am not the only one as I have spoken to others about this same thing. . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
"How wrong is that? Focus and I never mess about together and we will never go tag team. That is just Yuck yuck yuck. Nope, no way, no how! Get your minds out of the gutter ladies for what you are suggesting is somewhat incestuous and abhorrent." Attempting to twist my words into something I never said. Did I ever mentioned anything about you two being a sexual tag team.? No. My comments were purely as said...pot stirring tag team.. Again, so predictable its boring......*yawn*
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' "How wrong is that? Focus and I never mess about together and we will never go tag team. That is just Yuck yuck yuck. Nope, no way, no how! Get your minds out of the gutter ladies for what you are suggesting is somewhat incestuous and abhorrent." Attempting to twist my words into something I never said. Did I ever mentioned anything about you two being a sexual tag team.? No. My comments were purely as said...pot stirring tag team.. Again, so predictable its boring......*yawn* OBVIOUSLY your sense of humour is sadly lacking. Are you sure you are not American? (and here I appologise most profusely to the CM although you are originally Norwegian are you not?) As the majority of them only "get" school boy humour as well! Are we being too subtle for you? Is levity just beyond your comprehension?
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RHP User
15 years ago
quite the opposite actually.... I did start my first post saying this thread is hilarious......lol You and your daughter provide many with chuckles, even fits of laughter at your expense. . I think I am more of a teapot than a kettle.... but hey, if you say I am a kettle, then it must be true.
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RHP User
15 years ago
.....now where did I leave that cloak of invisibility Lord Voldermort gave me.... hehehe
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well yes...but since my parents moved to the states when I was a grotty little parasitic 2 year old and took me along to the USA...I am more red, white and blue. Never mind that though...humour is humour and I "get it" in a few different languages. Now on the upside of being an American star-spangler, I am also an entrepreneuer. | Quoting 'fionabee' Are you sure you are not American...as the majority of them only "get" school boy humour as well! | Ladies and gentle, boys and girls, children of all ages....settle back and watch the show! A large popcorn is free and a large Coca-cola is yours at no extra charge! | Unfortunately the box and the cup are $19.95 and you will be ejected if we notice that you have brought your own snacks. We will also charge you $39.95 if you spill or make a mess on the seats or the fine red carpets in the theatre you grotty little parasites! | Let the show begin.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' .....now where did I leave that cloak of invisibility Lord Voldermort gave me.... hehehe Lord Voldemort didnt own the invisibility cloak - Harry did......sorry couldnt resist I do love those books amd rather tragic really.....lol . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
well seems to me that people forget that besides sex there is life most of the women ive meet have kids an to me it would be wrong of them as parents to put there kids anywhere else but top of the list ive been in love for a long time with a woman from this site due to the harshness that life is her kids are not with her thou to me shes a great woman an totally loves her kids to thous who are to me shallow an dont understand the love of a parent for there kids an that sex is a distant second well all id say is grow up get over yaselfs an show more understanding that theres more to life then just sex
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RHP User
15 years ago
Actually..... I know Voldermort didnt own the cloak... but your mum did bestow it to me a few weeks ago....
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RHP User
15 years ago
swining is our alone time were we enter a completely different life our kids have no idea about! its the only time away from them really and we certainly dont want to ruin that time by talking about them. i love my kids but they have nothing to do with my sex life you will NEVER meet them or hear about them. We are pretty flexible when it comes to babysitters we have 3 so if one cant we have 2 backups! Oh and kids arent grotty they are beautiful and to not have them in your life is sad! i have met much dirtier disgusting adult women and men in my life.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Can I please defend my position about not having them in my life??? Please apparently to not have them is sad....thus all of those lovely men and women out there like myself who dont have kids in their life for what ever reason are sad...please please please...can I?? huh? huh?? . Damn I knew my cloak disappeared from my house around the time she was here last...lol... . Kisses Focus still firmly believes that wiping snotty noses and dirty bum is grotty
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RHP User
15 years ago
people who dont have them in their life wouldnt know, its one of those things you have to experience before you can judge... just saying! becky xoxoxox someone who has a life away from this site :D
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am the eldest of my generation within my family and have friends and family with young chidlren (including neices nephews and one baby brother)...believe me I have changed nappies, wiped snotty noses, bathed them, fed them, etc....yep! its definately grotty...tell me you have always loved changing a smelly nappy first thing in the morning.....ewww...I just dont want them as a permanent part of my life. I put up with those children of people I love because I love those people but I actively chose not to have anyone elses in my life (including some of my own). . Of course I dont really know what it is like to have children as a permanent fixture in my life - I did state earlier that people without children can empathise not completly understand but the OP asked why they dont hear from people again once they are told they have kids - I gave a list of MY reasons for not playing with parents...question asked and answered. . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
I much prefer playing with couples who have kids as it means they are much more understanding of my commitment to my own kids, as well as the changes that happen to a woman's body once she has had children As for Focus's comments...it's a pretty broad generalisation isn't it? I, for one, am much more organised since having kids, and when I say I will be somewhere I am there on time. And since it takes a bit of effort to organise a meet, I would never cancel just because i felt tired, or whatever. I guess there is always the risk that I may have to cancel if one of the kids suddenly fell sick, but surely people without kids can also have unexpected dramas? Their car could break down, or they could injure themselves or whatever?? xxx Cherry
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RHP User
15 years ago
If you wish to re-read what I said on page 1, I did say that I agree with most of your points 1 to 5. At no time did I attempt to stop you defending why you choose not to have kids in your life.. . I actually responded to foreverloves question.....not yours. (or fionas) "quoting foreverlove....I find it interesting how everyone is jumping on the 'Focus is allowed to voice her own opinion' train, yet when others voice theirs, people bring out the claws? "
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sorry Ruby - I was in a cheeky cheeky mood when I posted that comment above...dont worry it was part of that white noise you were talking about . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
everyone is entitled to their own opinion but people shouldnt put other people in catagories ie. "parents all talk about their kids" not true we never do with anyone from this site and "children are grotty" not true mine actually grew up to blow thier own nose and whipe thier own bottom. I also am the eldest in my family of this generation and yes its true its different to look after some one elses childs snotty nose then your own. The point being: 1. We dont even mention kids were usually to turned on to think about them. 2. When we do meet we prepare. extra babysitters on call. 3. OUR KIDS OUR BUSINESS THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SEX LIFE AT ALL. it shouldnt matter whether or not someone has children its not like they are there when we meet or talk or get on cam or have sex.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Foreverlove - we are childless (so far) and we just had two amazing nights of fun in Brisbane and both cpls we played with had kids !
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RHP User
15 years ago
the following are the reasons why I refuse to play with someone who has children - . 1. I dont like to be cancelled on at the last minute because something has hapopened - babysitter didnt show, kid fallen ill, etc etc . 2. Invariably people with children end up talking about them - I dont want to know anything about them, there are other things you can talk about . 3. Where singles are concerned - often a friendship can develop or they ask you to meet their kids - not after that thankyou I dont want to confuse the kids...I am not mummy or daddies girlfriend and dont want your kids to be a part of my life . 4. Being parents mean it can be difficult to organise a place to play - and if the people you are approaching cant host then it can seem a little daunting . 5. The amount of time and effort that gos into organising a play date with parents is just too much...why would I bother when there a childless people out there I could play with in a much quicker time frame?? . 6. Because you are obviously crazy for having children in the first place - grotty parasitic creatures that they are and I only like to play with the sane . Hope this answered a few of your questions . OK let me try this again - I have stated clearly why I choose not to play with parents. I am not after random sex I am after people I can play with on a continual basis (well I was when I was looking for someone to play with I have that currently and am thus not seeking anyone new) ...I do not say all parents just that it does happen - especially as when you are looking for a regular playmate your intimacy with a person increases...knowledge of their lives etc...as for kids being grotty let me quickly copy and paste the definition I am using and tell me if you dont agree that for me that description is apt: . Grotty - it is unpleasant and you dislike it strongly .. You are lucky in that you have extra baby sitters on call...not everyone is that lucky and having been cancelled on at the last minute on more than one occassion in the past because a child has fallen ill, the baby sitter has turned up, or in one case the ex decided she wasnt having the kids for the weekend afterall I have made the decision not to play with parents because of it. . The OP did ask : Why on earth, does having children, scare people away? Someone please enlighten us. . As I am a person who it does scare away I felt I could answer the question honestly from my perspective. Not once did I target my answers to a specific person until attacked personally. . You dont agree thats fine, and I do admit that not everyone fits into those catergories how ever this has been my experience. . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' Actually..... I know Voldermort didnt own the cloak... but your mum did bestow it to me a few weeks ago....You jst couldnt resist.
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RHP User
15 years ago
sometimes white noise can be ok
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RHP User
15 years ago
hey kids 29 and 23 still show up unanounced harry can i please have a lend of the cloak!!!!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I cant be bothered finding the post, you may wish to though. You know which one...the one where you said my posts would be invisible to you. I made no promises.. . I do apologise to foreverlove.....seems my answer to your question kicked the subject off topic. I do hope this hapless diversion has provided you with some laughs and someone can come along and get the topic back on track.
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RHP User
15 years ago
some kind of shit fight going on here! You've done it again Focus hehehehePersonally I reckon the Op asked a question, Focus gave her opinion and good on her! she is livingher life, and is a warm and caring woman, even though she and I disagree about lots of things. There are some awfully thin skinned people round these parts, grow up!I can kind of see where Focus is coming from, when I was a young bloke I too hated kids...and didn't particularlywant any, was more of meeting Kj's needs to be a mummy. Since we had them my attitude has turned 180 deg's, and I tend to think most kids are just the cats pyjama's, not just mine but of course they are grotty little buggers when they are little. and then they turn into teenagers....arrrggghhhh.....lolLook not all women have that maternal spark thing happening, doesn't mean I think any the less of them, andcertainly don't think any the less of Focus.Cheers Nev
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RHP User
15 years ago
We think kids can be a deal breaker for singles, where couples swinging work around commitments. Are you sure kids are the real reason? Big world out there just move on, obviously it was not meant to happen.
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RHP User
15 years ago
We have kids and people that dont have kids say that we tend to say we arent coming at the last minute... Speaking from personal experience having kids makes you want to "play" even more! Lay off the people with kids! Youll understand one day if you ever have any! xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
This thread started as a reasonable question (although I might just be saying that because the OPs are smoking hot) and now the whole thread has gone to the dogs. ffs - Fo doesn't like kids and gets crucified for her joke... Fi picks up the bone and around in circles we go. . It did get me thinking about the swinging lifestyle and kids though - Is there something inherently wrong with lying to your kids? Developing some sort of lie about who 'uncle jim and aunty jill' are? Hiding that much of your life? Sure, you can't explain your lifestyle to little anklebiters until someone comes up with a good picture storybook to help you.. but what about when they're older? If you think your life choices are sound and justifiable - do you still hide them from them? And is that wrong?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Obviously a touchy subject for some! So someone expressed an honest opinion....get over it! Life's too bloody short and all that!For the record, I'm a single dad to three. They live with me full-time. Pretty much the only time I have for myself is when they're in bed. That's my choice, and I'm happy with it.So Focus has none, and wants none. Why should she be made to feel like she's missing out? Unfulfilled? Lonely? Or any of the other adjectives bandied about to describe those who don't have kids for whatever reason?Sure, I'll never get to smother her in melted chocolate, whipped cream, vanilla cheesecake, or other homemade desserts in the privacy of my kitchen, but that's no reason to belittle her!You do know that last bit's TIC, don't you Focus?
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RHP User
15 years ago
im not lying to my kids they dont know there is no aunty jill ect. the two never meet. so its not an issue
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am not lying to at least one of mine, no wait, two of them...maybe more. Oh my mother knows too. Not ashamed of anything I am doing and I have no intention of hiding it from them. Yes my ten year old also knows I am on this site....only because he is a computer whizz and nothing done on the net is safe from him. I just make damn sure I have no one at home when the kids are and that he never gets to meet any of them.
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RHP User
15 years ago
what we make of this chat is that som people are hard up for some attention. we have kids, are up front about it and have never stood anyone up... we love to have 'fun' just as much as other couples. if people use their kids as an excuse to not show take it as a hint that they just can't be bothered with you anymore. you probably just sound like hard work :( at the end of the day we're on here to have fun. don't fool yourself into thinking that you'll ever be put ahead of the kids. if you do then you're playing with a rare, really 'special' breed of people. we're happy to keep playing with the more easygoing couples/singles thanks. we've never had any complaints!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting '2hot2curious'im not lying to my kids they dont know there is no aunty jill ect. the two never meet. so its not an issue And given you are 22 I will go out on a limb and guess that they are pretty young, or at least young enough not to question you. But as they get older and smarter do you picture having to come up with a 'longer story' to explain where you are off to? Depending on how full on your play is, you will have to come up with a bit of an elaborate story to explain the time you need to devote to your 'other life', won't you? . I'm not passing judgement.... I'm just curious as to how people tackle this, and how they feel about it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Kids or no kids doesn't really matter. It's just another personal preference, no different to screening people for other reasons such as age, height, weight, personality, marital status etc etc Having kids or not having kids makes no difference, what is important is 'the type of person' that you are. I have a preference for younger women, but that doesn't mean younger women have to have a preference for older men. This doesn't mean that there is something 'wrong' with them it's just their preference. If I contact someone and they are not interested, it doesn't matter their reasons as I respect their choice.I have 2 kids who live with me full time but they are old enough now that I can just tell them 'I'm going out' Not that it happens much As for Focus's opinions, that is how she feels and I can respect that.We are individuals, that's what makes the world interesting and a challenge
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RHP User
15 years ago
Kids or no kids doesn't really matter. It's just another personal preference, no different to screening people for other reasons such as age, height, weight, personality, marital status etc etc Having kids or not having kids makes no difference, what is important is 'the type of person' that you are. I have a preference for younger women, but that doesn't mean younger women have to have a preference for older men. This doesn't mean that there is something 'wrong' with them it's just their preference. If I contact someone and they are not interested, it doesn't matter their reasons as I respect their choice.I have 2 kids who live with me full time but they are old enough now that I can just tell them 'I'm going out' Not that it happens much As for Focus's opinions, that is how she feels and I can respect that.We are individuals, that's what makes the world interesting and a challenge
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RHP User
15 years ago
Kids or no kids doesn't really matter. It's just another personal preference, no different to screening people for other reasons such as age, height, weight, personality, marital status etc etc Having kids or not having kids makes no difference, what is important is 'the type of person' that you are. I have a preference for younger women, but that doesn't mean younger women have to have a preference for older men. This doesn't mean that there is something 'wrong' with them it's just their preference. If I contact someone and they are not interested, it doesn't matter their reasons as I respect their choice.I have 2 kids who live with me full time but they are old enough now that I can just tell them 'I'm going out' Not that it happens much As for Focus's opinions, that is how she feels and I can respect that.We are individuals, that's what makes the world interesting and a challenge
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RHP User
15 years ago
This is an interesting tangent. Do you want to pose a forum topic about it? I dont think this has been tackled on here before...families yes but not kids specifically.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'bustystclare' what we make of this chat is that som people are hard up for some attention. we have kids, are up front about it and have never stood anyone up... we love to have 'fun' just as much as other couples. if people use their kids as an excuse to not show take it as a hint that they just can't be bothered with you anymore. you probably just sound like hard work :( at the end of the day we're on here to have fun. don't fool yourself into thinking that you'll ever be put ahead of the kids. if you do then you're playing with a rare, really 'special' breed of people. we're happy to keep playing with the more easygoing couples/singles thanks. we've never had any complaints!! Well said, We could not agree more. The only problem with kids at home is we cannot be away for weekends / overnighters. 6pm to midnight out, is our style with kids at home which is not what some couples want and clubs / parties that dont really start till 10pm. This is not what some couples want so we simply move on. A lot of profiles the kids have left home, so its the perants time to play again.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting '2hot2curious'im not lying to my kids they dont know there is no aunty jill ect. the two never meet. so its not an issue And given you are 22 I will go out on a limb and guess that they are pretty young, or at least young enough not to question you. But as they get older and smarter do you picture having to come up with a 'longer story' to explain where you are off to? Depending on how full on your play is, you will have to come up with a bit of an elaborate story to explain the time you need to devote to your 'other life', won't you? . I'm not passing judgement.... I'm just curious as to how people tackle this, and how they feel about it. i dont have my children every second weekend, so we only plan in that time. i really dont think i have to sit them down and say" mummy and daddy are going to have sex with other people when your gone to nannas." why would i need to say that? my children are not around to see what i am doing? if they ask what i did on my weekend i usually say i went to dinner with friends or drinks and we went to the movies (which is usually true). No kids want to hear about there parents sex lives. i still get the ewwwww MUM! when me and ashley kiss passionatly! When they are old enough to want advise on the subject or ask if i have ever done this (when they are at least 17/18) i will let them know i have no problem with that. i just dont think its an appropriate subject for two 5 years old girls lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
There is no way on this earth that we are going to speak about our children, to someone that means no more than a good time.It would take alot more than that for someone to be worthy enough to meet our kids......As for canceling at the last minute because they may become ill, i should think those reasons could extend to other family members maybe a mother or father.... As parents if we cannot host and the people we play with cannot host, we get a motel no big deal easy in fact.....We don't sit hear and label people for the reasons they choose not to have children.And after a child blooms from parasite status what is it they become exactly??We would think that its not the kids that are the problem, but the character of the people whether they be parents or not......
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee'This is an interesting tangent. Do you want to pose a forum topic about it? I dont think this has been tackled on here before...families yes but not kids specifically. Great idea Fiona, I want to hear what the single Mums and single Dads tell their kids when they have a date or going to a party? (Or lets be really honest and tell them if you have a bit on the side?) Would you agree same responsibilitys for Single Mum and Dads with kids as for Couples? After all this is a sex site.
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RHP User
15 years ago
We have thought long and hard about this discussion point , we have two teenagers , and yes we make the best laid plans ( no pun intended ) and family things do come up at a moments notice , whether we like it or not , we always hope the other parties will understand - but that is the way it is - family will always come first. However now they are older things are better , but a place to play seems to be the biggest issue we face these days
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Romancefor4' Quoting 'fionabee'This is an interesting tangent. Do you want to pose a forum topic about it? I dont think this has been tackled on here before...families yes but not kids specifically. Great idea Fiona, I want to hear what the single Mums and single Dads tell their kids when they have a date or going to a party? (Or lets be really honest and tell them if you have a bit on the side?) Would you agree same responsibilitys for Single Mum and Dads with kids as for Couples? After all this is a sex site. I would tell my kids I'm going out with a friend, or I'm going to a party. They don't need to know the specifics. Same as if I'm going to do a gig with a band, or see a movie, or any of the things I may do without my kids.
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RHP User
15 years ago
An interesting topic We have met people with kids and people without and have found that we just have more in common with people with kids and also with younger couples who want kids into the future. Yes, it takes a bit longer to plan something but we have found that once we are over that daunting first meet, the rest is easy as we can accomodate at home once the kids are asleep. Each to their own :-)
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melbcpl01
15 years ago
Well we are a couple without kids but have never rejected a couple that do for that reason "they have kids" , We are happy to wait till a time that suits all as we do understand having kids requires extra planning The ones that reject a couple or single (male or female)that has to plan around kids are missing out on a lot of fun all because its to much hassle for them to wait till a time that suits the everyone after all its not a one sided event its for everyone involved The only one rule we have we will NOT play if the kids are home even after they are in bed , you just dont know if they will get up at any time Melbcpl01
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'swingtime4us'There is no way on this earth that we are going to speak about our children, to someone that means no more than a good time. But what about me as a single wanting more than just al ittle fun - I like to develop a friendship with my playmates and because I choose not to have children in my life (unless it cant be helped - damn parentals) then it does come up in converssation especially after a few play dtaes and you are discussing how teir day/week has beenIt would take alot more than that for someone to be worthy enough to meet our kids......As for canceling at the last minute because they may become ill, i should think those reasons could extend to other family members maybe a mother or father....hell no!! My mother wont come to me when I'm ill no way I'm going to her - let someone else look after her As parents if we cannot host and the people we play with cannot host, we get a motel no big deal easy in fact.....We don't sit hear and label people for the reasons they choose not to have children.And after a child blooms from parasite status what is it they become exactly?? Me!! (scared yet??) - but then if you ask my Mother I am still a parasite - see previous post about me as a child...lolWe would think that its not the kids that are the problem, but the character of the people whether they be parents or not...... Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'FriskyCouple69' We have kids and people that dont have kids say that we tend to say we arent coming at the last minute... Speaking from personal experience having kids makes you want to "play" even more! Lay off the people with kids! Youll understand one day if you ever have any! xxx but that was what the question was - why do kids scare people away??? how can i lay off people with kids and still answer the question??? . Just because you want to play even more doesnt mean you get as much of an opportunity to play as someone who doesnt have that committement...I understand this...its just something I choose not to have as part of my experience. . Oh and let me ease your mind - kids are not happeneing for me not now, not ever.... . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting '2hot2curious' .When they are old enough to want advise on the subject or ask if i have ever done this (when they are at least 17/18) i will let them know i have no problem with that. BAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. PMSL! A 17 year old asking thier parents for advice on sex? Your profile says you are 22, by my calculations you were pregnant at 17. Why the hell were you not asking for advice? Take it from one who knows...be prepared to answer the inquisiton from about eight or nine years of age. By then the little darlings will have already hacked into your computer and busted your passwords wide open. Treasure those innocent days of a five year old...they wont last much longer.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Romancefor4' Quoting 'fionabee'This is an interesting tangent. Do you want to pose a forum topic about it? I dont think this has been tackled on here before...families yes but not kids specifically. Great idea Fiona, I want to hear what the single Mums and single Dads tell their kids when they have a date or going to a party? (Or lets be really honest and tell them if you have a bit on the side?) Would you agree same responsibilitys for Single Mum and Dads with kids as for Couples? After all this is a sex site. As with a couple, they can play separately so the other gets to watch the kids...if that is thier thing. There is no Daddy to watch my son when I want to play and I have a house of foster kids to think about as well. I CAN NOT have men in my house it is as simple as that and I must have babysitters who have gone through department and police checks. l I develop a friendship with those I play with and it is very rarely a one off thing. I get to know them, I discuss thier work, thier kids and thier lives and they discuss mine with me. l No Single Mums and Dads often have more responsibility as there is no one to share the burden.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting '2hot2curious' .When they are old enough to want advise on the subject or ask if i have ever done this (when they are at least 17/18) i will let them know i have no problem with that. BAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. PMSL! A 17 year old asking thier parents for advice on sex? Your profile says you are 22, by my calculations you were pregnant at 17. Why the hell were you not asking for advice? Take it from one who knows...be prepared to answer the inquisiton from about eight or nine years of age. By then the little darlings will have already hacked into your computer and busted your passwords wide open. Treasure those innocent days of a five year old...they wont last much longer. but my parents died when i was young and my daughter is the result of being raped. it is very easy to laugh from the outside. maybe dont judge before you assume to know how peoples lives are lived.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have had three children. I can talk about them if someone asks but I'm really just being polite. When conversation turns to children it's not about sex and therefore a waste of good shagging time. Its just not a sexy conversation and, you know... I'm with Focus on this, if only for different reasons. I mean, it's boring!! I'm sure your kids are wonderful little tackers and all.... but I don't want to talk about what school to send them to.... or whatever... and if I do.... It's really just because I'm feeling I should just to be polite!! Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting '2hot2curious' Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting '2hot2curious' but my parents died when i was young and my daughter is the result of being raped. it is very easy to laugh from the outside. maybe dont judge before you assume to know how peoples lives are lived.Still.....prepare yourself for the questions long before 17
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting '2hot2curious' Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting '2hot2curious' but my parents died when i was young and my daughter is the result of being raped. it is very easy to laugh from the outside. maybe dont judge before you assume to know how peoples lives are lived.Still.....prepare yourself for the questions long before 17im sure i will be able to handle it..
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RHP User
15 years ago
I live in a glass house so I am not throwing stones. Check out the age of Focusliason above and my own age. She is my biological child. And I knew exactly what I was doing!!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting '2hot2curious' Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting '2hot2curious' .When they are old enough to want advise on the subject or ask if i have ever done this (when they are at least 17/18) i will let them know i have no problem with that. BAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. PMSL! A 17 year old asking thier parents for advice on sex? Your profile says you are 22, by my calculations you were pregnant at 17. Why the hell were you not asking for advice? Take it from one who knows...be prepared to answer the inquisiton from about eight or nine years of age. By then the little darlings will have already hacked into your computer and busted your passwords wide open. Treasure those innocent days of a five year old...they wont last much longer. but my parents died when i was young and my daughter is the result of being raped. it is very easy to laugh from the outside. maybe dont judge before you assume to know how peoples lives are lived. First off...you don't have to explain what has happened to you in life to anyone at all...let alone people that LOVE to put others down!! Secondly, I applaud you so much for keeping your child and that just proves what a great mother you are and a great person! I just want to give you a big hug hun...You are an inspiritation! xox xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Quoting 'ruby_blossum' This thread is hilarious...... * its about meeting folks with/without kids and the resulting preferences.... * stirring the pot as usual.... mother & daughter tag team bwahahahahahaha.....funny as. . Foreverlove......dont let it worry you too much, sadly you too will get used to the comedy of words that ensue from their posts....trying to pound down most readers and participants that their thoughts are the only thoughts and the way the world should be.... Just have a huge grain of salt ready, eventually they just become the equivilent of white noise. Aww Ruby I lubs ya! Straight to the point and no messing around! I love it how you say it as you see it! xFunlovingx How wrong is that? Focus and I never mess about together and we will never go tag team. That is just Yuck yuck yuck. Nope, no way, no how! Get your minds out of the gutter ladies for what you are suggesting is somewhat incestuous and abhorrent. Quoting 'Replyforfun' Not only that they are vindictive and they know how to get what they want. I still love the little bugger but I reckon Focus is dead on. You need to stay out of the sun gold coast girl, it's frying your brain cells either that or all the recent rain has driven you crazy. If someone says they are saying something tongue in cheek and it doesn't work, get over it. They tried, they failed in your mind and they succeeded in others. Political correctness, it fucking shits me the cunts that can't take a joke (in bad taste or not).So very right. SOME of us can take a joke even though we have raised heaps of kids single handedly and continue to take in the kids who's parents do neglect them for other past times. To you Fiona how in the hell did you involve me in this arguement! I simply said that I love the way that Rubes speaks HER mind!! Stop playing victim whenever someone says something about you and reading things into it that aren't there! I did not even mention a word about you nor Focus! And yes yes yes yes yes we all know that Focus is your daughter and you are her Mother...EVERYONE has read that in heaps of different posts over the last few months sheesh! We know you don't share with each other...we know that you discuss every man you have been with or going to be with with each other...Give us a break and just go back to talking to each other! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'focusliason' How is it that I answered the question asked from my perspective - as I have done on other threads about the same topic - but I am stirring the pot????? . I then clarify my position based on the comments given resulting from my initial post - and I am stirring the pot??? . I get attacked personally for having a joke - yet I am stirring the pot???? . I apologise for not everyone getting my joke (and offending a few)...yet I am stirring the pot??? . I am told I am sad, going to be alone, and now that obviously marriage and children are never on the cards for me (maybe because I chose not to have that which is apparently the 'norm' and something 'everyone' wants) yet I am stirring the pot?? ,. Please Ruby and funloving tell me how this is so??? The two of you would be aware of the way posts are done here and because some comments appear before my own doesnt mean they were there when I commented. We are all aware of some having instant posting and others not. . Kisses Focus Again...why is my name brought into something when I just stated that I love how Rubes says it as SHE sees it! Didn't see me type YOUR name on there did you? Did you see me agree? NO!! So get over it...seriously! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sorry you got dragged into the quagmire by association... I am sure you will receive a backpeddling apology soon.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' Sorry you got dragged into the quagmire by association... I am sure you will receive a backpeddling apology soon..... < I am sure I will see hell freeze over first....got a spare parka and long johns I can borrow? xFunlovingx
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