M56
Affairs: How to keep your lover a secret
July 23 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
I've just had a solid friendship killed because a woman wasn't satisfied with her husband and had to "have her cake & eat it too" - all sanctioned by the man she's married to I might add. My heart is thoroughly broken by this, dating after divorce just isn't worth it anymore.Any idiot who can't be satisfied with the vows they made truly isn't worth putting effort into. My ex did this to me, my "friend" is actively doing it. My head has told me to walk away.
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stardreams123
16 years ago
What if you came home & found out your partner was cheating on you, NOW really think about it you would feel like shit, hurt etc so why would you do that to someone else that is a really shitty, weak thing to do. Why don't you try working on your own relationship before distroying it & hurting someone. I am against cheating but thats how I feel, but if you are a person that has some knowledge of right & wrong you would see that what your doing is wrong, & I can't beleive you would ask people on RHP how to keep an affair secret thats just not right...
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RHP User
16 years ago
here goes people, Should I be on this site?I have been married for over twenty years.I was faithful for twenty of them.I love my wife more than anything in the world ,she is a great mother,a fantastic cook,funny ,good looking, faithful,And nearly everything you could want.......BUT does she want to fuck me ? yes but not how I want to.Call me shallow but I am a over sexed human bean.I have hinted swinging but that wont happen.I don't judge people who swing as I read up there somewhere "you don't tell your parents and family about your lifestyle do you?" And I sure as hell don't believe people who say they would remain faithful for ever
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RHP User
16 years ago
and how HEARTBROKEN will she feel once she discovers your cheating 4nicake???????????? I have never felt so low and devastated as I do right now. The awful gutwrenching feeling of "life is over" once you lose someone you love to someone else is utterly utterly DEVASTATING. I always said I had no idea why people chose the easy way out and ended their lives.......now at least I have some understanding of why they do it. This feeling is HORRENDOUS and NO ONE should have to go through it.Think before you put your "sexual needs" first - think of how the person you committed yourself to 20 years ago would feel. I know men are inherantly selfish, but that takes the cake.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Here are some tips. 1.Dont let your lover wear perfume or if she wont go for that have a shower b4 you go home and always carry your own deoderant. 2.Have a second mobile for contact with your lover(pre paid).never take it home,leave it at work. 3.When seeing her out of work hours always have a mate who will back up where you were,make sure its a mate who doesn't have a mrs.he will tell her eventually and it will get back to your wife.Make sure the mate you pick to cover for you isn't really good friends with your wife. 4. Dont take your lover anywhere that you and your wife go( pub,restaurant) or any of your friends go.You will be spotted. 5.Dont tell your lover that you love her.NEVER.Even if you do,dont tell her. 6.Keep nagging your wife for sex. 7.Finally if your wife is suspicious,DENY,DENY,DENY.Never tell her the truth. All in all if you're having an affair due to lack of sex and you haven't been able to work it out with your wife, go to the brothel.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dont ask Tiger Woods for any advice.
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RHP User
16 years ago
s meeting at your/their place an absolute no no? = YES - just downright dumb. Don't shit in your own nest. Is having a single for a lover asking for trouble? = YES - no one wants to be single 'forever' so at some point push will shove. Mobile phone etiquette? = Most the married RHP guys i know of that play up have 3 distinct traits: 1: A spare mobile phone that they refer to as the 'work' phone. 2: They have alternative MSN addresses to have a different profile to log into when they need to further the chat 3: They usually list their profile as single. What have your experiences been? - They want to leave their husbands for me. (These are 1-1 affair encounters not extensions from swinging) What has worked for you what hasn’t? - An affair needs to be short and sweet. Over within a few weeks at the worst, less than 1 week preferred. If you run it for any longer you WILL get caught and have your back window of your SUV bashed in with your golf clubs. And from the flip side, have you caught your partner and how did you find out? - Well, hasnt happened to me yet, but these are the warning signs to look out for : 1: He/She has taken a new interest in the computer and chatting. Staying up hours later than usual and then coming to bed horny. If you are dumb enuf to not wonder why ur getting it at midnight for a change then go on in your bliss... 2: You have been married for 7 years and she comes home waxed for the first time. Unless you know your a champ, I would search abit harder for a reason for the new 'look'. 3: You will start hearing his/her name pop up randomly in converstations. Just keep an ear out for a new name. When I met one of my great loves, when she went home to tell her boyfriend that it was over between them, he was able to name me. We hadnt done so much as kiss at that point in time but she was using my name alot without realsiing.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ido not understand why one would give advice to Cheating unless you are/were a Cheater, as for pipinghot71 a married couple, your Handy tips i suppose they may be if that is your thing, may i ask do you come from a cheating Background? You must be both open about this, does it still cause concern with either of you (open play ralationship maybe?) as you still say DENY DENY DENY, NEVER TELL THE TRUTH, as a loving swinging couple we do not feel there is any room for cheating therefore there is never the reason to DENY or LIE, if its not my thing i will tell him and same with him telling me. Hardaway a work collegue was once involved in a minor incident in the company work car, he was taken to hospital & his wife had to collect his car from work, thus his keys being in his draw at work along with the AFFAIR PHONE, not thinking about it i openend the draw for her to grab his stuff. She took it to him at the hospital having read the messages, pics etc, well Lucky he was already in Hospital, she now works for the company & he is long gone, thats how we all found out why he never came back, they offered her a job while he was off not Knowing they had seperated, very amusing.If you need to cheat then you cant talk about your true feelings with one another, no trust/no lust, go you must.
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Steveh67
16 years ago
Could not have said it better myself Gaz !
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well it seems some people on this site take this whole forum thing just a LITTLE BIT TOO SERIOUS dont you think. No mr piping and myself do not have a perilous shitty untrusting marriage its actually very the opposite. And as for your question about us, maybe you should try minding your own business you havent even met us to make such a judgement on our relationship. Mrs PIPINGHOT71
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RHP User
16 years ago
Very interesting discussion, specially from this site on morals. Don't forget a cheater not only has to keep the affair hidden from their partner, but from EVERYONE! How sure can someone be when checking into that out of the way motel that the neighbour, someone from your partner's family, one of your partner's friends (or even just an acquaintence), someone from their work etc doesn't see them. All it takes is someone to ask innocently to your partner if enjoyed the motel or that that saw you there. I endured a terrible marriage, but never cheated (I knew I would be caught). The funny thing was during the divorce proceedings the ex accused me of screwing every woman I had associated with during our marriage and at least all of her family believed her. At least I could hold my head up with pride knowing I had not erred . My daughter (who was 12 at the time) stayed with me and not her mother simply because she knew I had told the truth and hadn't made up any lies to the court. Eight years later and the ex still refuses to have any contact with her. On another note, be careful about this concept of an open marriage. Whilst it seems to work for a lot of the couples here (kudoes to you all), I have had three couples (friends) in the last 12 months who have broken up. What happens was the same for all three: all had open marriages and in all instances the same thing happened. One of the couple (male for one, female for the other two) began to enjoy open status a little too much and formed a relationship with one of the people they saw together. End result, 5 families broken (two of the 'other parties' were married), one business destroyed and lots of lives ruined. The only winners where the damn solicitors!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey discrete Lover......im not passing judgement here..as its not my place to do so hey,..obviously there's an issue/s hence you wanting a discrete fling...im a big believer in communication..(.quick to listen and slow to speak)and being forthright with the partner..expecialy if there are children...to try and find a way to resolve the issue/s be it a compromise.I agree with Gazza your better of buying a motor bike...a freedom and the feeling good almost good as sex...loland the other comments he stated to you.Tigress as well...id weigh the situation up carefully....been there done that..only i didnt know that guy was married i was 18-19 at the time and gullable.yet needless to say id be friends with one...but as far as sex goes only if the wife was aware and fine with him playing solo if that wasnt her thing.Remember the person finds out one way or another...for every action there is an reaction,so be prepared.xoxoheymumma
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RHP User
16 years ago
If you are hell bent on having sex with another but don't want to get caught having an affair then why not turn to a professional and pay for it? They have all the services that you may be yearning for and are certainly able to accommodate your need for secrecy....
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RHP User
16 years ago
I think the problem is the paradigm. Monogamy implies being able to get all you need (at least in certain areas) from the one person. That might work fine when the average life expectancy was around 35 but it's a nonsense with people averaging almost double that nowadays. The main problem with any affair is that it requires you to be dishonest with someone you ostensibly love. Doing that is a recipe for damaging your psyche. Much better is to be open about what you want and why. If your partner doesn't want to go there then you can both make informed choices about what you do next.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Very interesting.....saddam and gamora all over again! s_f_b_1.au
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RHP User
16 years ago
No one knows. If you are unhappy in your marriage - get out. Never stay 'for the kids'. Children are not stupid and they know when things are not right. My son asked why I didn't leave sooner. I stayed because of them. Pretending for the sake of the kids is only going to make them resent you... the exact thing you try to avoid by staying in an unhappy marriage. What about the man who does not want to hurt his wife even though she knows he's cheating? She breaks out in tears... he crumbles and goes back because he can't stand to see her cry.. professing that he's not cheating, but he is and always will. She asks "you have someone". He says no, but deep down she knows he's lying. She is biding her time... waiting for the moment when she can catch him.... and she will. She won't kick him out, and he won't leave because neither one of them wants to look bad in their children's eyes. So they live a lie... making each other (and ther children) miserable... screaming, blaming, crying.. a life of hell for all involved. I left my marriage, but not before getting 'caught'. He was a great guy. Why did I cheat? Because he trusted me and I could... and I was bored. If I had said to him I wanted to separate for a while, he would have accepted that and I could have done what I wanted. But it just didn't work out that way. Sweet
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RHP User
16 years ago
you'll get caught....eventually....guaranteed....my wife very skilfully hid her philanderings for 8 years...but i caught her one day...sure made me feel great!...like not!!!...if you're a cheat, stay away from me, 'cos i don't wanna know ya...jose...
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