M55
side to side,, up and down,? or round and round ?
March 22 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
grabbing ur dick and positioning the end of it on the clit, then shaking that mother fucker from side to side, and up and down, produces great results for all concerned. in the case of penetration with chicks who are into double-fisting and fire extinguishers, round and round becomes a necessity.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why not all? I like 'em all.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't get the point. We're not mixing a cake batter. xx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
with a nice amount of ice . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' grabbing ur dick and positioning the end of it on the clit, then shaking that mother fucker from side to side, and up and down, produces great results for all concerned. OH god I actually just pictured you doing that to me..............................and damn near peed my pants laughing but yep thats a good one!!! Especially if you're yelling at your own cock while you do it, "I said SHAKE you little MO FO !!!!" LMAO seriously
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RHP User
15 years ago
whats going round and round and up and down and side to side and where is it going??? so we add ice but we arent making cake batter???... im confused and TO what the hell are you doing my boy hahaha roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm making a maritini - want one?? . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
theone1983 well I'll be stuffed .........why haven't I ever looked at your profile before maybe I had pictured you with horns or something . Maybe Im just a bit jaded now and wasn't expecting a plesant surprise? But you are....dare I say it?.........a bit of alright . . Lol any wonder people keep wanting to impale you on sharp and odd shaped objects
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RHP User
15 years ago
Okay call me dumb but I still can't figure out the question? Riding a surfboard, playing with a pogo stick or get dizzy on the merry-go-round? | If you are talking women...hell, just oil up, have them lay flat on top of you and give them a spin like a damn helicopter propeller. The good ones will stay on and you usually only have to spin them a couple of times to make it happen. | Now if they fly off...well, those are the ones that think a "tight one" means you can put two hands in there and not be able to clap. Too much of anything is never good. | If you find one of those, drop me a note and I'll send you the blueprints to this really cool basket thingy you can mount on the ceiling, have them sit in, give it a spin and lower them down. A basket, a few ropes and couple of pullies and you are in business. The Chinese do outsource them...but I prefer the higher quality cane and cables available here. Invest in your county...buy Aussie made when you can. | Still not sure if we are talking sex, dancing the hokey-pokey or playing Twister?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'focusliason' I'm making a maritini - want one?? . Kisses Focus yes please...i think i need one roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hey you, I think if you were salsa dancing naked ........all .......might be possible...........ummm interesting Roxxy/Focus can I join you - I think I need one now - just got myself all hot & bothered Kisses J
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RHP User
15 years ago
i love the idea that you imagined me naked in front of you. the fact that you were laughing at my 'little' mo fo, took some of the shine off that. i'm usually really good in imaginary sex. now i'm blowing those roots too. jeez i'm really slippin'. wonder what the next rung down on the ladder of sexual failure will be? i'm sure u will tell me...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Crack me up! S.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I hate painting, but I prefer the wax-on, wax-off strokes, as advised by Mr. Miagi before he went down on Ralph Machio's mom.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' grabbing ur dick and positioning the end of it on the clit, then shaking that mother fucker from side to side, and up and down, produces great results for all concerned. in the case of penetration with chicks who are into double-fisting and fire extinguishers, round and round becomes a necessity. thank you for always giving me a smile .. You are one clever man ... :
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' i love the idea that you imagined me naked in front of you. the fact that you were laughing at my 'little' mo fo, took some of the shine off that. i'm usually really good in imaginary sex. now i'm blowing those roots too. jeez i'm really slippin'. wonder what the next rung down on the ladder of sexual failure will be? i'm sure u will tell me... I wasn't laughing at your little mofo, I was laughing at you shaking the fuck out of it a full on funny visual with you getting angry at it .Love it. I won't tell you anything about your sexual failure, you're more likely to tell us about it LOL. though Im pretty sure I just said you were cute, maybe you couldnt hear it over all your 'cock yelling' that could be classed as a slip down a rung possibly.
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RHP User
15 years ago
damn i love roller coasters !!!!! all that adrenaline.......... and......... youre encouraged to scream !!! otherwise I got no idea what youre on about if we're not painting houses or making cakesmaybe try posting before you finish the slab/bottle ???
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well, gonna do a dance and it goes like this The name of the dance is the peppermint twist In a night like this - a peppermint twist Round and round, up and down Round and round, up and down Around and around, and a up and down and a One, two, three kick, one, two, three go
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' theone1983 well I'll be stuffed .........why haven't I ever looked at your profile before maybe I had pictured you with horns or something . Maybe Im just a bit jaded now and wasn't expecting a plesant surprise? But you are....dare I say it?.........a bit of alright . . Lol any wonder people keep wanting to impale you on sharp and odd shaped objects lolz... you better believe it... and blunt objects too! this guy is mighty hawt. If he wasn't straight, he'd have to hire himself a stunt bum. :pHugsS
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' | If you are talking women...hell, just oil up, have them lay flat on top of you and give them a spin like a damn helicopter propeller. The good ones will stay on and you usually only have to spin them a couple of times to make it happen. | Now if they fly off...well, those are the ones that think a "tight one" means you can put two hands in there and not be able to clap. Too much of anything is never good. | Bahahahahaha......................at two hands and clap..................thats fn funny as good one........
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Quoting 'dontgothere' theone1983 well I'll be stuffed .........why haven't I ever looked at your profile before maybe I had pictured you with horns or something . Maybe Im just a bit jaded now and wasn't expecting a plesant surprise? But you are....dare I say it?.........a bit of alright . . Lol any wonder people keep wanting to impale you on sharp and odd shaped objects lolz... you better believe it... and blunt objects too! this guy is mighty hawt. If he wasn't straight, he'd have to hire himself a stunt bum. :pHugsS It's possible I half expected him to have a head on him like a half sucked Minty, but yep, you're right he's hawt lol. I can just imagine him sucking his cheeks in when he's in dangerous company PMSL to avoid the need for a stunt bum. . . Anyway stop distracting me theone !!! Back to the topic, side to side, up n down, round n round? well if you're talking about a good old tongue bath, yeah bring it on........ but throw in some serious moans/slurping/sucking noises and a well placed "Fuck you taste good" here n there too please. . But if we're talking penetration then I'm kind of lostmaybe the side to side if you're rolling off the bed, and the up and down could be a nice ride, but the round n round has me stuffed its always a pretty snug fit and if someone had the room to swing it round n round in there I reckon I'd be asking "is it in yet?"
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RHP User
15 years ago
I usually go around and around .... if I am stirring coffee.left to right, AND top to bottom....if I am reading
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RHP User
15 years ago
My brain is going round and round and making no sense of this
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RHP User
15 years ago
Jaz, Roxxy, Irresponsibility - their on the way girls...mmmm.....and look we have a DJ for the evening too - thanks mikeandshel . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' I wasn't laughing at your little mofo, I was laughing at you shaking the fuck out of it a full on funny visual with you getting angry at it .Love it. I won't tell you anything about your sexual failure, you're more likely to tell us about it LOL. though Im pretty sure I just said you were cute, maybe you couldnt hear it over all your 'cock yelling' that could be classed as a slip down a rung possibly. another case of my posts taking a long time to be approved. i havent asked for instant posting, cos i'm pretty sure i wont get it. i've written some raw shit, and it doesnt always make it through the approval process. thanks for the compliment by the way, couldnt believe how many views i'd got when i logged on today, when a hottie like you says something about a guy, people take notice it seems. yeah, looking forward to telling more tales of sexual ineptitude in the future.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Make mine a double double...and I don't need the caffeine to shock my system. | Quoting 'irresponsibility' My brain is going round and round and making no sense of this...espresso martini for me please | We now have Chubby Checker on a pogo stick playing Twister in the nude with DGT and TO1983? Somebody, please...film this? | And as for you TO, keep your little away from my mo you fo...she ain't no ho. That was my granny and you are welcome to her. | A family secret about her....what rhytms with "granny"? You might want to have a talk with my grandpa first... | ...he's quite a lady! | | I would settle for a Wild Turkey and valium cocktail.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Make mine a double double...and I don't need the caffeine to shock my system. | Quoting 'irresponsibility' My brain is going round and round and making no sense of this...espresso martini for me please | We now have Chubby Checker on a pogo stick playing Twister in the nude with DGT and TO1983? Somebody, please...film this? | And as for you TO, keep your little away from my mo you fo...she ain't no ho. That was my granny and you are welcome to her. | A family secret about her....what rhytms with "granny"? You might want to have a talk with my grandpa first... | ...he's quite a lady! | | I would settle for a Wild Turkey and valium cocktail. Pogo stick Twister with Theone Hell thats one Id like to have on vid myself, imagine the damage....imagine the mess better make my Wild turkey a double, this could take a while!
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RHP User
15 years ago
ahhh, shucks
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RHP User
15 years ago
i think you know, that my 'little' is gonna go, wherever i say so, cos ur granny makes my 'little' grow, and you know what i'm gonna do (pronounced doe), cos its not just for show, and i'll make that ho, say oh, oh, oh.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' Quoting 'dontgothere' I wasn't laughing at your little mofo, I was laughing at you shaking the fuck out of it a full on funny visual with you getting angry at it .Love it. I won't tell you anything about your sexual failure, you're more likely to tell us about it LOL. though Im pretty sure I just said you were cute, maybe you couldnt hear it over all your 'cock yelling' that could be classed as a slip down a rung possibly. another case of my posts taking a long time to be approved. i havent asked for instant posting, cos i'm pretty sure i wont get it. i've written some raw shit, and it doesnt always make it through the approval process. thanks for the compliment by the way, couldnt believe how many views i'd got when i logged on today, when a hottie like you says something about a guy, people take notice it seems. yeah, looking forward to telling more tales of sexual ineptitude in the future. maybe I could be your pimp? How much fun would that be PMSL and I'll take some of that nasty cock shaking as payment in full
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RHP User
15 years ago
the very thought of that made my butt cheeks clench up so tight that if u put a piece of coal up there, by tomorrow it would be a diamond. would be quite a hit on youporn though. probably boost pogo stick sales through the roof. as for being my pimp, well, u would really be earning your cut, having to deal with all those irate disappointed customers. but it sure would be fun for me at least. p.s. they would only be disappointed cos i was saving up the best for you, you sweet, fine, delectable delight.
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RHP User
15 years ago
TO my man, you be talkin' smackTime to get ya ho ass back on trackDGT done tossed a WT toastTime to go for the ol' spit roast|Say word...to your mamaSay word...to the streetSay word...to ya brotherYou grab her hands and I'll grab her feet!|You know TO..about three of those Wild Turkey-V cocktails and all she will remember is being covered in bar-b-que sauce and laughing. High five my man...|...and here I thought I hated rap songs. | Quoting 'dontgothere' I'll take some of that nasty cock shaking as payment in full Fire it up, TO...looks like she stomped on the bottle cap and is going for gold.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' TO my man, you be talkin' smackTime to get ya ho ass back on trackDGT done tossed a WT toastTime to go for the ol' spit roast|Say word...to your mamaSay word...to the streetSay word...to ya brotherYou grab her hands and I'll grab her feet!|You know TO..about three of those Wild Turkey-V cocktails and all she will remember is being covered in bar-b-que sauce and laughing. High five my man...|...and here I thought I hated rap songs. | Quoting 'dontgothere' I'll take some of that nasty cock shaking as payment in full Fire it up, TO...looks like she stomped on the bottle cap and is going for gold. LMAO CM too bloody funny!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
... Volunteers to hold the video camera?? Sounds like a spicey spit roast! Turn it slow so I don't lose focus!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere'maybe I could be your pimp? How much fun would that be PMSL and I'll take some of that nasty cock shaking as payment in full Hey dgt! I want that job! Let's do a deal. I'll mud wrestle you for the opportunity to watch Theone fucking..... watching that wrippling mass of masculinity, all sweaty and dripping with massage oil, shiny butt cheeks hammering away with the serious slap slap slap noises of thigh against inner thigh.. and that massive cow prodder he's calling his little friend... it's gotta be poetry in motion, I tell you!! Hell, I'll pay to watch! HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Being a bit of a gourmet in the kitchen...we could always try it hibatchi style, and turn up "the heat". | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Turn it slow so I don't lose focus! | I just happen to have a Nikon that shoots high speed HD movies with a shoulder pack for the batteries and memory sticks...auto focus and still motion sensors to assure a picture movie. | Don't know what you're laughing about...after we are done with her, you're going down teppanyaki style. This might be a movie even Jamie Oliver will want to watch... | ...."Twisted Iron Chefs from Oz"
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RHP User
15 years ago
FBF hell yes, but make me a copy to take home please . theone this damn delayed posting LOL I doubt they'd be too irate and disappointed PMSL unless you started yelling out, "Im goingthere, Im goingthere" the whole time you were fucking them. . Stalky sheesh you had me at mud!!!!! But I know who's ass he'll have facing the wall, and it won't be mine PMSL . . Dammit Im all toey now
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'... Volunteers to hold the video camera?? Sounds like a spicey spit roast! Turn it slow so I don't lose focus! Sorry I just can not allow you to spit roast my daughter. Oh and she has been lost for years.
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RHP User
15 years ago
fanning herself wildly like a little Geisha and giggling behind her pretty fan. Boy it's getting quite hard to breath isn't it? Is it just me? . . It's turning into a wee bit of a smorgasboard with me on the menu mud wrestling with Stalky for entree and pimp rights theone for main course, served on a smokin HOT sizzle platter of course and FBF for dessert CM as the Maitre D with a battery pack. Girl Tuesday I can see a coin slot just over there behind Stalky he did say he would pay to watch LOL. . . How the hell am I supposed to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day now? Shit, why would I even want to
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm too much of a lady to discuss spit-roasting anyone, Fionabee, let alone Focus! Nooo, that's, in my opinion, a male-invented, crass term for a poor hard-working, multitasking-female *eyeroll* I was merely demonstrating my willingness to video the erm .. hoe-down? Smorgasboard even? For posterity! O:-) <--- thats me, the angelic one! Hehe
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RHP User
15 years ago
Okay...before we all dive into the smorgasboard I just have to know something... | Quoting '1234j'so wats the general consensus, men and women lets hear them all!!!! | ...does this answer your question.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Up and down Side to side Round and round............. l Bull Riding! l Momma's don't letya babies grow up to be cowboys. Dont let 'em pick guitars and ride them ol' trucks Let 'em be doctors and Lawyers and such.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Okay...before we all dive into the smorgasboard I just have to know something... | Quoting '1234j'so wats the general consensus, men and women lets hear them all!!!! | ...does this answer your question. i think its fucken hillarious and im starving LOL
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sorry...I thought maybe you were trying to juggle grapes. That takes practise you know... | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' :-)~000 <--- thats me, the angelic one! Hehe | Three is not a bad start...I can do five and peel them before I swallow them whole. | | OOOOO
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RHP User
15 years ago
yo my man chasingmidnight, i'm a lover, dont wanna street-fight, its you me and DGT tonight, we gonna hit the highest height. . if you lookin' for a fourth, i got the problem solved. lets get my main man stalky involved. his thick hard manhood is sure to pass the test, i tell you from experience he's better than the rest. . now if u looking for a fifth, no need to look to far, that girl called flirty bi fem, who holds the cam-er-ahhh, if shes lookin' for some lovin', she dont need no invitation, look at her sweet titties, they're the best in all the nation.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Flirty - spit roasting is certianly not just for the ladies you know!!! lol xxxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Oops sorry I meant lose focus not loose Focus. Sorry girl - will you forgive me? Thoughts of you made my finger slip. xxMeeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' yo my man chasingmidnight, i'm a lover, dont wanna street-fight, its you me and DGT tonight, we gonna hit the highest height. . if you lookin' for a fourth, i got the problem solved. lets get my main man stalky involved. his thick hard manhood is sure to pass the test, i tell you from experience he's better than the rest. . now if u looking for a fifth, no need to look to far, that girl called flirty bi fem, who holds the cam-er-ahhh, if shes lookin' for some lovin', she dont need no invitation, look at her sweet titties, they're the best in all the nation. I'm no good at poetry - but if you sing this to the tune of "Ice Ice Baby"... it's pretty good. All right stop... collaborate and listen.......
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RHP User
15 years ago
ice ice baby, white rice playboy, my rhymes may not be fully sick, but even black men get jealous, when they see my dick.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' :-)~000 <--- thats me, the angelic one! Hehe | Three is not a bad start...I can do five and peel them before I swallow them whole. | | Three? So conservative! I suspect you underestimate my skill set And oh TheOne, you make me blush ... almost. I have a feeling you're overestimating but you do it so eloquently, I don't see much point looking a gift horse in the mouth! Meeks, let me assure you, I know... Ooh I know! Surely this has a great deal to do with focusing on chef selection, does it not?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Flirty I guess we will just have to pick a master chef that does an excellent juicy spit roast. But to answer the orginial question for a roast you have to get the timing right don't you. I am told you just can't keep pulling it in and out. There is lot of preparation involved to get the stuffing just right and you want the juices flowing so that it is moist and tender when you put it in your mouth. And to top it off you would definitely want a cream pie for dessert. xxMeeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Flirty I guess we will just have to pick a master chef that does an excellent juicy spit roast. But to answer the orginial question for a roast you have to get the timing right don't you. I am told you just can't keep pulling it in and out. There is lot of preparation involved to get the stuffing just right and you want the juices flowing so that it is moist and tender when you put it in your mouth. And to top it off you would definitely want a cream pie for dessert. xxMeeka Meeka you have to remember to baste the roast at intervals, so that the outside is all moist and tasty as well A good smear of all the juice that escapes from the inside is the best....... baste n taste, baste n taste oh and I'll be hanging around for dessert, PMSL literally hanging probably
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Flirty I guess we will just have to pick a master chef that does an excellent juicy spit roast. But to answer the orginial question for a roast you have to get the timing right don't you. I am told you just can't keep pulling it in and out. There is lot of preparation involved to get the stuffing just right and you want the juices flowing so that it is moist and tender when you put it in your mouth. And to top it off you would definitely want a cream pie for dessert. xxMeeka I'm no Nigella *sorry ... momentarily distracted*, but yes, it is my understanding that you need to ensure heat penetrates both sides evenly and that just the right amount of spice is applied to the meat. God forbid the meat should get dried out in any way! Flowing juices and melt in the mouth sensations ...Yum. Rotation must surely be the order of the day. . Dessert ... Now that's an artistic delicacy all on it's own! *blissful sigh* ... I wonder if it's glutinous to see a fine dessert and hope you're not too full for seconds ... or thirds ...
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think you nailed it, TO...and those my be the lyrics to the first rap song The Satch ever records. Title of the song might just be "Make them Scream". | Quoting 'theone1983' yo my man chasingmidnight, i'm a lover, dont wanna street-fight, its you me and DGT tonight, we gonna hit the highest height. . if you lookin' for a fourth, i got the problem solved. lets get my main man stalky involved. his thick hard manhood is sure to pass the test, i tell you from experience he's better than the rest. . now if u looking for a fifth, no need to look to far, that girl called flirty bi fem, who holds the cam-er-ahhh, if shes lookin' for some lovin', she dont need no invitation, look at her sweet titties, they're the best in all the nation.| So let's get the sous chef teppanyaki table ready to cook. So that's one main of Sashimi DGT an one main of Sushi FBF...plenty of Japanese mayo and don't forget the wasabi for a bit of extra spice. That should feed three and wipe out two...oh well, it's not easy serving up a meal for five. | Oh hey there 1234j, if you are hungry you might want to put in an order for take away before we fire up the hibatchi or see if you can get the hot chick knocking back the expresso martinis to show you the "irresponsibility toast"....if you do, the rest of us want pictures. | Damn I hope somebody remembers to put the finger towels and little bowls of lemon water close by... | ...this is gonna get messy. | | Guys...don't tell 'em when we say "ahhh so" it's dessert time and we just flip them over?
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RHP User
15 years ago
2.4.6.8 Don't forget to lick the plate
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RHP User
15 years ago
It is with sincere regret that I feel compelled to submit my resignation from the esteemed position of Camera Woman, effective immediately. . I have discovered I am no longer responsible enough to hold down such a demanding position. Due to the restrictive nature of this role, my legs are a little shaky from staying in one position for too long and I find your orrifice too hot. Insufficient air conditioning is detrimental to both my health and my job performance. . I have been fortunate enough to secure a rotational role that offers me more personal satisfaction and potential stimulation. The perks are seemingly endless and the meal allowance staggeringly more generous. I wish you every success in finding a replacement candidate. . Yours Sincerely . Flirty_bi_fem
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' It is with sincere regret that I feel compelled to submit my resignation from the esteemed position of Camera Woman, effective immediately. . I have discovered I am no longer responsible enough to hold down such a demanding position. Due to the restrictive nature of this role, my legs are a little shaky from staying in one position for too long and I find your orrifice too hot. Insufficient air conditioning is detrimental to both my health and my job performance. . I have been fortunate enough to secure a rotational role that offers me more personal satisfaction and potential stimulation. The perks are seemingly endless and the meal allowance staggeringly more generous. I wish you every success in finding a replacement candidate. . Yours Sincerely . Flirty_bi_fempure gold!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'HotSexyChilli' Quoting 'dontgothere' theone1983 well I'll be stuffed .........why haven't I ever looked at your profile before maybe I had pictured you with horns or something . Maybe Im just a bit jaded now and wasn't expecting a plesant surprise? But you are....dare I say it?.........a bit of alright Lol any wonder people keep wanting to impale you on sharp and odd shaped objects Quoting 'stalky'lolz... you better believe it... and blunt objects too! this guy is mighty hawt. If he wasn't straight, he'd have to hire himself a stunt bum. :pHugsS Quoting 'dontgothere'It's possible I half expected him to have a head on him like a half sucked Minty, but yep, you're right he's hawt lol. I can just imagine him sucking his cheeks in when he's in dangerous company PMSL to avoid the need for a stunt bum. Anyway stop distracting me theone !!! Hmmmm you inspired me DGT and yes, went there myself and I lingered... TO83 is certainly a tasty looking morsel and never has Perth felt so damnably isolated from the rest of Australia. I want in on this smorgasbord too. I'll even be the little coin box behind Stalky, I just love poetry in motion ;) One question, DGT, did you notice that TO83s profile pix are taken in a Spiderman Candy attic? (raised eyebrow) Which really makes me curious to know more about this kickboxing, horny, muso. I'm wondering if he's the masculine answer to Madonna's "Sticky & Sweet." It really does create more mental imagery for the spit roast... Marinade anyone??? Chilli xxThe Spiderman thing rings a bell, I'm sure I overheard TO mention his penchant for being a superhero Now there's a web I wouldn't mind having stuck in my hair
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RHP User
15 years ago
Good food Good meat Good gawd Let's eat! | Quoting 'dontgothere'2.4.6.8 Don't forget to lick the plate | ...and your fingers and anything else that gets messy! | Amen. | | That sounds a bit like a cheerleader chant...short skirts, no undies and cartwheels?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' Now there's a web I wouldn't mind having stuck in my hair i laughed so hard at that, i think the neighbours would have heard me. marry me!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Oops sorry I meant lose focus not loose Focus. Sorry girl - will you forgive me? Thoughts of you made my finger slip. xxMeeka but only because its you.....very few others would get away with a 'slip' like that . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' It is with sincere regret that I feel compelled to submit my resignation from the esteemed position of Camera Woman, effective immediately. . I have discovered I am no longer responsible enough to hold down such a demanding position. Due to the restrictive nature of this role, my legs are a little shaky from staying in one position for too long and I find your orrifice too hot. Insufficient air conditioning is detrimental to both my health and my job performance. . I have been fortunate enough to secure a rotational role that offers me more personal satisfaction and potential stimulation. The perks are seemingly endless and the meal allowance staggeringly more generous. I wish you every success in finding a replacement candidate. . Yours Sincerely . Flirty_bi_fem dear flirty_bi_fem, . congratulations on your recent appointment to the culinary department. . you have been selected on the basis of your ability to perform with outstanding aptitude in a wide variety of positions. your results in both the practical and oral assessment tasks were among the best our examiners have ever scored, with a unanimous concensus of utmost satisfaction reported by all officials. . we avidly look forward to your participation as a member of our team, as your skill and enthusiasm will doubtlessly assure exciting developments in our fields of endeavour, and we trust you will find your time here to be rewarding. . sincerely, . theone1983 . human resources.
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RHP User
15 years ago
To:.....Human Resources | From:.Technology & Finances | Just an interoffice memo to congratulate you on what has to be one of the cost efficient use of resources we have observed in some time. The candidate that has requested this transfer has done so in good faith and as noted, as a non-compensated position that offers only bonuses as earned and non-reported FBT packaging. Well done and please do not inform her of the following: | The camera has an automatic tripod, wide scan auto optical 32x zoom lens, self-focus, fully remote controlled and came with a 24 hour battery pack and teragig memory. Her sole duty as the camera person would have been to push "record" and dive in...money for jammin'. | Quoting 'theone1983' We avidly look forward to your participation as a member of our team, as your skill and enthusiasm will doubtlessly assure exciting developments in our fields of endeavour, and we trust you will find your time here to be rewarding. | T O my man...considering you just saved you, me, Stalky and DGT just a tad over $30,000 in union scale camera crew wages and benefits, you can have the first serve of Sushi FBF. Pass the mayo and wasabi? | One thing? Could you please be sure to leave at least a bit of those ice blue breast pieces for me...it could be a fetish but I have always had a thing for Smurfette. | Thanks, | Technology, Finance and Smurf Nurfer
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RHP User
15 years ago
now if there was ever an expert on spit-roasting, its got to be her. the ratio of guys to girls in the smurf village is about the same as it is on rhp. no doubt, dreamy smurf had the biggest ding dong, and was getting the most action, cos he always seemed to be halfway in or out of a cum coma. hefty smurfs testicles were surely shrivelled up like sultanas from all the steroid use, and brainy smurf was drilling holes in the stems and shagging mushrooms cos he knew that grouchy smurf had syphilis. handy smurf was a bit like me, with his tool in his hand all day long.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Do not mistake my silence as me just rolling over. Yet. My piercing blue eyes are pouring over the contract and I'm preparing to come to the table very soon. Look out. Especially that Technical Dude. Here's hoping I report to the H.R guy, because the Finance guy is going down!! :-p
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RHP User
15 years ago
Too good...she just volunteered to throw in the "going down" caveat without negotiating. Jearzus...if I had known Smurfette Sushi was going to be this easy to roll up in a Nori blanket, I would have opened a restaurant by now! | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Here's hoping I report to the H.R guy, because the Finance guy is going down!! :-p | There we go...in writing and high 5's all around. Reportst to you and I am going down? Spit roast deluxe...with plent of left overs. | Hey T O... don't know if it's just me but I think DGT may have been getting a bit toey looking at some of the hot chicks here lately. Maybe you should send her an amendment to her contract at least overviewing the possible outcomes of sharing a Nori blanket with a hot chick? | Better still...get her to appoint FBF under a Power of Attorney and this gig will blow the roof off the Rod Laver!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Too good...she just volunteered to throw in the "going down" caveat without negotiating. Jearzus...if I had known Smurfette Sushi was going to be this easy to roll up in a Nori blanket, I would have opened a restaurant by now! | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'Here's hoping I report to the H.R guy, because the Finance guy is going down!! :-p | There we go...in writing and high 5's all around. Reportst to you and I am going down? Spit roast deluxe...with plent of left overs. | Hey T O... don't know if it's just me but I think DGT may have been getting a bit toey looking at some of the hot chicks here lately. Maybe you should send her an amendment to her contract at least overviewing the possible outcomes of sharing a Nori blanket with a hot chick? | Better still...get her to appoint FBF under a Power of Attorney and this gig will blow the roof off the Rod Laver! Take a good look at the under side of her ledger if we are talking contracts here.... I mean I dont wanna sign myself up for anything long term..... but a decent inspection of her figure......oh figures, I meant figures truly So yes a top n tail Nori roll is well in order for this little merger. mmmmm top n tail........ *she says in her best Homer impersonation* mmmm creamery butter (fuck thats my fav line ever LMAO).... . . .
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' Quoting 'dontgothere' Now there's a web I wouldn't mind having stuck in my hair i laughed so hard at that, i think the neighbours would have heard me. marry me! Well of course it was funny, cos I would be sitting there all webby n sticky n cute lookin, and that would make you want to go and put some more web in my hair far out.....got my spidey senses all tingling !!!! . . and awww yeah I spose we could get all hitched n stuff, but could you slip on a nice cock ring? diamonds do nothing for my clit
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RHP User
15 years ago
from human resources . amendments to clause 6.9 for your overview and approval . dear DGT . senior management has suggested a collaboration between yourself and FBF, as a precursor to aforementioned persuits, for observation by departmental heads, in the hope of producing greater outcomes at the conclusion of proceedings. . we are confident that you will find FBF to be a keen and capeable colleague, and forecast a sizeable increase in desired results for both her and yourself. . i will be happy to handle any queries you may have, and look forward to you asking for my input. . sincerely etc...
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RHP User
15 years ago
i answer directly to "little mo fo", so any disagreements u have with other departments need to be directed to him. he's easily manipulated though, so i'm sure u wont have any problems getting him on side.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Dear HR dept, I have read through senior Managements collaboration proposal and must agree that FBF and myself would indeed work well. I can forward on a few testimonials for your perusal, as to how well I play with others . Alternatively I can lay them on your desk in person so that you and the departmental heads can observe my work ethics first hand. I have always been a 'results based' worker as Im sure is FBF, I am positive this will be a step in the right direction for all concernced. My only concern in regards to your input, is............how often am I allowed to ask for it
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RHP User
15 years ago
I can just imagine working in an environment where Theone is the boss.... instead of "talk to the hand"...... it is going to be "talk to the little mo fo".HugsStalky Quoting 'theone1983' i answer directly to "little mo fo", so any disagreements u have with other departments need to be directed to him. he's easily manipulated though, so i'm sure u wont have any problems getting him on side.
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RHP User
15 years ago
if they walk into the office at the right time, they could be talking to ur hand and the little mo fo at the same time.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983'if they walk into the office at the right time, they could be talking to ur hand and the little mo fo at the same time. That's what a personal assistant is for delegate, lol or denigrate, whatever takes your fancy on the day.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Can anyone join this party and where do I send my C.V.? What sort of employee benefits does Spit Roast Incorporated offer?? Yours juicy & moist, Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Can anyone join this party and where do I send my C.V.? What sort of employee benefits does Spit Roast Incorporated offer?? Yours juicy & moist, Meeka I just happen to be heading down that exact corridor, you may want to watch your step the floor is slippery from the last applicant
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RHP User
15 years ago
I wish to apply for the unadvertised position of Sexual Harassment and Equal Opportunity Liason. . Whilst I do not have a history of being directly employed in this role, my referees can attest that my dedication and attention to detail in ensuring that Sexual Harassment occurs frequently in and out of the office environment and that all staff have equal access to harassment, in all its forms, has made me a very highly valued team member. . I have attached my resume to the inner lining of my corset for your perusal and look forward to meeting with a panel of your directors in future to discuss the no-doubt rigourous demands of the combined positions in finer detail. . Disrespectfully yours, xx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
i am pleased to announce the betrothal of myself and DGT, and wish to invite all staff to the immenent ceremony. dress is to be slutty as possible or completely naked, and the venue will be at the new office, as, due to recent expansion in staff numbers, we have had to relocate to a larger premises. an aeroplane hangar with a rubber floor has been selected as the new workshop. . i also take this opportunity to welcome CNG onto the team as sexual harassment and equal opportunity liason officer. her proven record speaks for itself, and she will be a valued member of the team, working in very close contact with all employees. . meeka, u may forward your C.V, (clit and vagina), directly to me personally, for detailed inspection. you come highly recommended by planning and proceedures officer, stalky, so i'm sure your induction into the team is assured. be sure to bring your prosthetic acutrements as a back-up support contingency for male staff. . sincerely, yadda yadda
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' i am pleased to announce the betrothal of myself and DGT, and wish to invite all staff to the immenent ceremony. dress is to be slutty as possible or completely naked, and the venue will be at the new office, as, due to recent expansion in staff numbers, we have had to relocate to a larger premises. an aeroplane hangar with a rubber floor has been selected as the new workshop. . i also take this opportunity to welcome CNG onto the team as sexual harassment and equal opportunity liason officer. her proven record speaks for itself, and she will be a valued member of the team, working in very close contact with all employees. . meeka, u may forward your C.V, (clit and vagina), directly to me personally, for detailed inspection. you come highly recommended by planning and proceedures officer, stalky, so i'm sure your induction into the team is assured. be sure to bring your prosthetic acutrements as a back-up support contingency for male staff. . sincerely, yadda yadda Ahhhh webbed bliss ...... At least I know who will be doing my hair on the big day
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am glad that Stalky has highly recommended me for the position, it is always a pleasure to work underneath him, beside him and one day my goal is to advance high enough to be able to work on top of him. I would also like volunteer to be ring bearer at your wedding to DGT. (Promise to be more gentle this time. ) DGT - when is the hen's night? CNG, FMF, DGT & me......... now that is party I want to go to! Faithfully yours,Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
How do I apply for equal opportunity to sexually harrass the new Sexual Harassment and Equal Opportunity Liason Officer? Unfaithfully yours,Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I am glad that Stalky has highly recommended me for the position, it is always a pleasure to work underneath him, beside him and one day my goal is to advance high enough to be able to work on top of him. I would also like volunteer to be ring bearer at your wedding to DGT. (Promise to be more gentle this time. ) DGT - when is the hen's night? CNG, FMF, DGT & me......... now that is party I want to go to! Faithfully yours,Meeka OMG the trouble we could get ourselves (and anyone fortunate enough to be standing nearby) into!!!! I have to say though Meeka, I'm really worried that my husband to be will not come back to me in one 'fine' piece. Not with Stalky organising his bucks night
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RHP User
15 years ago
*** For Internal Use Only *** | To: All Members of the Executive Committee | Gentleman, | It gives me great pleausre to inform you that with recent staff acquisitions and the necessity to fund the brothertrohal ceremony of TO and DGT...budget has been blown. Please review the thread regarding naming your said penis and I would like HR to forward a letter of thanks to DGT for personally for dropping by our Melbourne office earlier today for a budget review and the handover of her signed amendment of the Copulation Act 2011 - Clause 6.9 now part of the Constitution of said company. | Please note that DGT has agreed to wash and return my monogrammed CKs at her earliest convenience and this is not an itemized budget expense...it just keeps him warm in the winter. | Due to our growing numbers and the need for broader pubic liability coverage, I have initiated a personal injection of sub-investment grade bonds obtained from the collapse of Lehman Bros. that will suffice for the ASIC security requirment pending a float of the company on the ASX. Once we have greased the markets as you would a virgin on her wedding night, we have a planned exit strategy that involves a pre-filed bankruptcy and dislodgement. We can auction off all remaining shares and any working prosthetic devices on eBay. | This assumes that we can at some point dislodge without injury and crawl to the nearest computer to assure that we are not hung out to dry by APRA and the regulators...especially by any silk scarves that may still be attached or made part of my budget. | Note: I have requisitioned enough steel blue paint to ensure that all Smurf fantasies and fetishes will be exceeded beyond target. CNG has promised to endorse this as appropriate sexual and emotional harassment. | Kind regards, | Technology, Finance and Smurf Nerfer BS, MS, PhD | | We know what BS is, MS is More of the Same and PhD is Piled Higher and Deeper. It just looks good on the fake business cards I had printed to impress the hot chicks. TO you are a lucky bastard...the cricket ball is still stuck in the garden hose. Damn...I didn't think she would go there. Oh well...life sucks and sometimes we get lucky!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have to admit it's getting difficult to follow this thread... but I'm good with it as long as I'm getting laid. OK? :pHUgsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
OK
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RHP User
15 years ago
.
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RHP User
15 years ago
A bex and a lie down So far I've had pogo stick twister sex, I'm still dizzy from the spit, I've got sushimi stuck in my ass cheeks, webs in my hair and I started a new job , now I've got a wedding to plan. Geez its been a big couple of days!!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I have to admit it's getting difficult to follow this thread... but I'm good with it as long as I'm getting laid. OK? :pHUgsStalky I've planned this month's Equity and Diversity meeting to occur on your desk. Please ensure that by 1:20pm Monday your legs and undergarments are dispersed equally and we'll all break into small groups and take turns role-playing to demonstrate how diverse we can be. . If there's anything specific you feel you need added to the agenda, mark it down on Meeka's left buttcheek and we'll see if you can raise a motion to have it fully explored. . xx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
Gezz quit whining, DGT. Half the women here barely get enough and most of the guys say they don't get any. Go hose yourself off and get your ass back down to my office. And bring back my CKs...damn those things are expensive. | Please?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'How do I apply for equal opportunity to sexually harrass the new Sexual Harassment and Equal Opportunity Liason Officer? Unfaithfully yours,Meekatake your strap-on down to CNG's office and explain to her that you could simply tell her exactly what stalky did to u, but it would be much easier to actually demonstrate. CNG's office door is always open, and even if she's already busy, she will be happy to take you inside. and empathetic sweetheart she is, she will encourage you to make her feel exactly what you felt.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I love all of the above, not just on the clit, but with a Large Hard Cock inside me... I love sex, it is so addictive...
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RHP User
15 years ago
To:.Technology & Finances.... CC:.Human Resources | Quoting 'theone1983' We avidly look forward to your participation as a member of our team, as your skill and enthusiasm will doubtlessly assure exciting developments in our fields of endeavour, and we trust you will find your time here to be rewarding. | T O my man...considering you just saved you, me, Stalky and DGT just a tad over $30,000 in union scale camera crew wages and benefits, you can have the first serve of Sushi FBF. Pass the mayo and wasabi? | And I thought I was tight!!! You've hired a shitload of new staff, you've blown God only knows what, as well as the budget! How the hell am I supposed to buy a wedding gift on a measly $30k? I think you need to lay them all on the table. I have given this careful thought, and carefully examined everyone's proposals. I'm concerned, and admittedly, I would have the whole Devil May Care attitude of Stalkys, were it not for the absence of discussion on important factors like fringe benefits and what and who will be taxing me the most. Your company structure looks shady and there's way too much talk of prosthetics for my liking! When I dream, I dream BIG. I want a great ride for starters and I see no mention of what I'll be parking in the carpark. Not to mention uniform allowance and tools of my trade! Quoting 'dontgothere' A bex and a lie down So far I've had pogo stick twister sex, I'm still dizzy from the spit, I've got sushimi stuck in my ass cheeks, webs in my hair and I started a new job , now I've got a wedding to plan. Geez its been a big couple of days!!!!! Call me demanding, but at this stage, the only thing I see bringing me to work each day is Meeks, DGT and CNG and with this kind of yummy distraction, where the hell am I going to find the hours in the day to perform my job to the very best of my ability, as you both seem to have such faith in me to do?? . I suspect I need to lay down. With DGT. Obviously naked, because I really don't see how you're gonna afford to air condition a warehouse at this rate! I'm all for blowing air on things to cool and excite, but I hold grave fears that your hot air simply will not be enough to cool me down. Besides, I'm already being head-hunted. But I really can't say much more at this stage ...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' yo my man chasingmidnight, i'm a lover, dont wanna street-fight, its you me and DGT tonight, we gonna hit the highest height. . if you lookin' for a fourth, i got the problem solved. lets get my main man stalky involved. his thick hard manhood is sure to pass the test, i tell you from experience he's better than the rest. . now if u looking for a fifth, no need to look to far, that girl called flirty bi fem, who holds the cam-er-ahhh, if shes lookin' for some lovin', she dont need no invitation, look at her sweet titties, they're the best in all the nation. Quoting 'theone1983' yo my man chasingmidnight, i'm a lover, dont wanna street-fight, its you me and DGT tonight, we gonna hit the highest height. . if you lookin' for a fourth, i got the problem solved. lets get my main man stalky involved. his thick hard manhood is sure to pass the test, i tell you from experience he's better than the rest. . now if u looking for a fifth, no need to look to far, that girl called flirty bi fem, who holds the cam-er-ahhh, if shes lookin' for some lovin', she dont need no invitation, look at her sweet titties, they're the best in all the nation. Quoting 'theone1983' yo my man chasingmidnight, i'm a lover, dont wanna street-fight, its you me and DGT tonight, we gonna hit the highest height. . if you lookin' for a fourth, i got the problem solved. lets get my main man stalky involved. his thick hard manhood is sure to pass the test, i tell you from experience he's better than the rest. . now if u looking for a fifth, no need to look to far, that girl called flirty bi fem, who holds the cam-er-ahhh, if shes lookin' for some lovin', she dont need no invitation, look at her sweet titties, they're the best in all the nation. You are unaware of who could help your sex the bestwithout the experience of my 'group knowledge' and expertise has beenif you did, what bliss that would be, you would knowI am able of much more than mf .... I love ff, mfm, fmf, mmmf, and more, I AM JEAN!!!!!I am more than just a loverI know more than your ordinary little girl, or 'mother'You should feel the inner 'me' and then you will inexplicity 'know'that I am that most wonderfu, Lover and "OTHER' You should be so wonderful blessed to taste the sweetness of my...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'theone1983' yo my man chasingmidnight, i'm a lover, dont wanna street-fight, its you me and DGT tonight, we gonna hit the highest height. . if you lookin' for a fourth, i got the problem solved. lets get my main man stalky involved. his thick hard manhood is sure to pass the test, i tell you from experience he's better than the rest. . now if u looking for a fifth, no need to look to far, that girl called flirty bi fem, who holds the cam-er-ahhh, if shes lookin' for some lovin', she dont need no invitation, look at her sweet titties, they're the best in all the nation. Quoting 'theone1983' yo my man chasingmidnight, i'm a lover, dont wanna street-fight, its you me and DGT tonight, we gonna hit the highest height. . if you lookin' for a fourth, i got the problem solved. lets get my main man stalky involved. his thick hard manhood is sure to pass the test, i tell you from experience he's better than the rest. . now if u looking for a fifth, no need to look to far, that girl called flirty bi fem, who holds the cam-er-ahhh, if shes lookin' for some lovin', she dont need no invitation, look at her sweet titties, they're the best in all the nation. Quoting 'theone1983' yo my man chasingmidnight, i'm a lover, dont wanna street-fight, its you me and DGT tonight, we gonna hit the highest height. . if you lookin' for a fourth, i got the problem solved. lets get my main man stalky involved. his thick hard manhood is sure to pass the test, i tell you from experience he's better than the rest. . now if u looking for a fifth, no need to look to far, that girl called flirty bi fem, who holds the cam-er-ahhh, if shes lookin' for some lovin', she dont need no invitation, look at her sweet titties, they're the best in all the nation. You are unaware of who could help your sex the bestwithout the experience of my 'group knowledge' and expertise has beenif you did, what bliss that would be, you would knowI am able of much more than mf .... I love ff, mfm, fmf, mmmf, and more, I AM JEAN!!!!!I am more than just a loverI know more than your ordinary little girl, or 'mother'You should feel the inner 'me' and then you will inexplicity 'know'that I am that most wonderfu, Lover and "OTHER' You should be so wonderful blessed to taste the sweetness of my...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Over here Flirt'y, I have a little desk fan on but I doubt it will cool us for long, I made it out of CM's CK jocks and a whirly stick. . Actually it smells a bit odd for a stick, was this the one Stalky whittled down a while back . . Geez CM, talk about crack the whip!!!! Even a blow up doll loses a bit of air after a while.
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RHP User
15 years ago
u get to lay down naked with DGT and still want more fringe benefits? some would say thats just greedy, but not me. i can throw in 3 delicious salty meals per day without consulting finance, and offer u 24 hour back-up from both myself and DGT, whenever u have a need or desire that requires attention. i'm sure you will be satisfied with the 'package' i'm willing to offer you, and if 30k is insufficient, CM could be persuaded to increase that if you demonstrate your skillset to him, and after a group meeting with stalky in the chair, i'm sure you will find it hard to leave no matter who is head hunting you. please reconsider and stay on board, cos i'd hate to see u go, even if would love to watch you leave.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Stalky I know it can get confusing at times, but I have a feeling you will have a sudden cheery disposition when you see the bonbonniers on the bridal table......... I couldn't decide which to go for , so went with the old alternating, you know...like they do with the chicken or the beef? Baby Jesus Butt Plugs and engraved anal hooks with the cutest little pull chain that should keep the guests happy if the speeches drag on a bit . . . ohhh the groom is going to look so handsome in his tux latex Spidey suit with a cut out for the 'lil mofo' Geez I'm a lucky girl
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm pretty sure you drive one very hard ... Bargain and I'm sure we can strike some kind of deal that's going to keep me flushed.. Erm .. Flush. Besides, that's one hot little bride you've got there, and there's something about engraved anal hooks that makes me thinks 24hr backup may be the nicest of all the sweeteners you've just laid out for me on the table. I'll be in touch soon. I'd suggest we shake on it, but I'm pretty sure it was all your shaking that got us all here in the first place!! :-D
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'I'm pretty sure you drive one very hard ... Bargain and I'm sure we can strike some kind of deal that's going to keep me flushed.. Erm .. Flush. Besides, that's one hot little bride you've got there, and there's something about engraved anal hooks that makes me thinks 24hr backup may be the nicest of all the sweeteners you've just laid out for me on the table. I'll be in touch soon. I'd suggest we shake on it, but I'm pretty sure it was all your shaking that got us all here in the first place!! :-D It was too and I'm more than happy to share him as he drives his bargain , he's such a dedicated worker and an absolute pleasure to watch. Gosh you look cute when you're all flushed Flirty.......rosy is a such a pretty colour on you.
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magsluvsoral
15 years ago
Quoting '1234j' | Quoting '1234j'so wats the general consensus, men and women lets hear them all!!!! | ...does this answer your question. i think its fucken hillarious and im starving LOL Iam starving too 1234j, so do it any way you want... just do it now lol xx
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