F53
Where are you from?
April 28 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
I dont care if your from outer space i think you are gorgeous :-)) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Lots of Australians ask this question. I get asked it all the time because of my name, although difference is I don't get offended at a standard question. I don't think most of the time it is meant as anything rude or racist, it's just a getting to know you question.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I get asked the same thing in most RHP messages. My family came out on the First Fleet, so I'd say that makes me a many, many generation Australian. I'm asked the question because my hair and skin look Mediterranean in some of my pics and lots of men like exotic looks. Some are terribly disappointed when they learn I'm an un-exotic Aussie. And I never get asked the question in real life. Australia IS a cultural melting pot, which means lots of people come from different ethnic backgrounds. It's one of our key strengths in this country. I do think there's a lot of racism in Australia, but I don't always think a casual question constitutes racism. In terms of RHP, some guys are really hot for Asian women, some aren't, some are naturally curious, some just have poor conversational skills. Sometimes we need to be careful not to punish the person we're talking to now for the mistakes of the last person who contacted is. What I mean is, sometimes we need to be careful not to jump to conclusions ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
12 years ago
I get asked the same question as well frequently just because of my skin colour, plus because I don't have much a native Aussie accent. So yes, it is annoying and offensive to death sometimes! I also cop the dirty look from people on the street, or in the wide open public of certain areas, when I date a white man! Some people would stare at me like as if I was in it for the visa or money! How do I know that people do that to me you may ask? Well, some people would stare at me (sharp eye contact) as they walk pass me and the white man (when we walk hand in hand), and still look back for another second after they have walked passed me :-( that annoys the crap out of me to be honest! But thankfully, it only happens in certain places, not everywhere I go, thank heaven! Hah, funny as, these days I still have strangers say to me "oh, you speak good English".........well, I do speak English quite well and if you don't realise that by saying "good English" is grammatically wrong, then you have no right to be surprised at my English skills, dumb arse!........that's what I feel like saying to the ignorant people sometimes, but I choose to brush it off with a smile :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Asian is quite a broad term and sometimes I think they are referring to where your background lies rather than where you are actually from, they just don't put it in that context. I find it makes for good conversation and also getting to know someone to know their background. I am half Scottish, it is a great excuse for my bad temper!
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RHP User
12 years ago
You especially say dumbarse beautifully ;) That made me giggle! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
As Meeka says, it's a getting to know you question and my curiosity is not racially motivated. I'm usually well past being on a first name basis with someone before broaching the subject. I have a friend at work who's appearance suggests a Pakistani or Indian lineage although his accent is pure Aussie. It was surprising to find out that he actually has Australian Aboriginal heritage and I didn't even know this until after he had been a guest in my house and I'd given him an old car I had in the yard that he'd expressed an interest in restoring.My father still asks the question of people he meets and seems to get away with it. He just wants to know more about them and where they come from. He's actually trying to include them in conversation which is the opposite of racism. Racists seek to exclude people based on their nationality.Yes, some people will ask the question to help them to ascertain where to pigeon hole you but some will ask because they are interested in you and want to know more. I don't expect it would be hard for you to decide which is which depending on the way the question is put and the reaction you get from the answer.So anyway, ...where is your family from???
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RHP User
12 years ago
I may have been one of those people who stare at you as you walk by. It's just that you look so hot!
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Black, white, asian, pink with purple polka dots. Just as many many people ask where I'm from (which I keep getting told to lie about!!) ..... honestly I think it's just an ice breaker. Since moving to Brissy and being "exposed" if you will to more cultures I'm actually learning not to stare.....but I'm sorry Sweetgem some ladies foreign or domestic irrelevant of race are just too beautiful NOT to stare or do a double-take at!!! 😳 maybe they're staring because you are mate? As for the language barrier.....sometimes active listening has to be put to the fore and sometimes people are just too inept. I'm feeling a bit inept myself right now. 😖
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'Bigocean72' I dont care if your from outer space i think you are gorgeous :-)) - Posted from rhpmobile Oh BigOcean. You are such a flirt..... X
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madotara69
12 years ago
have heard lots of wonderful stories about all over the world, we can't travel around the world, well we don't have that kind of ambition, so hearing stories has taken us too many places. Maybe you would enjoy some of the Dream Time stories from this land, they are beautiful and beautiful people too. Welcome too this land, just please try take care of it, that's all we need to ask. Mado Tara xx
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Lots of Australians ask this question. I get asked it all the time because of my name, although difference is I don't get offended at a standard question. I don't think most of the time it is meant as anything rude or racist, it's just a getting to know you question. thanks for the input Meeka but i get asked this question even before I say my name. Big difference. But I see your point of view. This is also occurring in real life here in Australia (outside RHP) and I know some ask it without malice (and yes I can tell the difference) as per my posting however, and it gets very tiring to get the stares (sometimes, yes as per sweetgem's post) and then THE question. My friends are of mixed heritage and parentage - Italians, Greeks, New Zealanders and Germans. But they hardly get asked the question because they have the Aussie accent and are white. Go figure. We had this discussion in our girls night out once and they wonder as well why. I point to them the obvious, I'm Asian and I stand out. I don't expect them to understand but they do and now that they are aware of this, they really notice it when we meet other people. And they just roll their eyes. I would prefer to be asked 'What is your heritage' or 'What is your background'. Subtle way of asking. I'm open to discuss it then. I don't expect many to understand, but I just want you guys to see it from where I stand. Peace
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'sweetgem' I get asked the same question as well frequently just because of my skin colour, plus because I don't have much a native Aussie accent. So yes, it is annoying and offensive to death sometimes! I also cop the dirty look from people on the street, or in the wide open public of certain areas, when I date a white man! Some people would stare at me like as if I was in it for the visa or money! How do I know that people do that to me you may ask? Well, some people would stare at me (sharp eye contact) as they walk pass me and the white man (when we walk hand in hand), and still look back for another second after they have walked passed me :-( that annoys the crap out of me to be honest! But thankfully, it only happens in certain places, not everywhere I go, thank heaven! Hah, funny as, these days I still have strangers say to me "oh, you speak good English".........well, I do speak English quite well and if you don't realise that by saying "good English" is grammatically wrong, then you have no right to be surprised at my English skills, dumb arse!........that's what I feel like saying to the ignorant people sometimes, but I choose to brush it off with a smile :-) - Posted from rhpmobile Thanks for the post Sweetgem. I know you would get it. I get you with regards to the stares (or it may be my short skirt and wiggly walk? Lol). This is something that is hard to explain to some people. In so saying, life goes on for us and we make the best of our assets. I feel for you sister. There are different stares and I like the ones with their tongue hanging out of their mouth.... Lol. x
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RHP User
12 years ago
I love getting asked where I'm from
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' have heard lots of wonderful stories about all over the world, we can't travel around the world, well we don't have that kind of ambition, so hearing stories has taken us too many places. Maybe you would enjoy some of the Dream Time stories from this land, they are beautiful and beautiful people too. Welcome too this land, just please try take care of it, that's all we need to ask. Mado Tara xx thanks dearies I have great respect for the people of the land - their traditions and cultures. I also love the relaxed no-nonsense modern Australian culture. It is what I grew up with. Wherever I go, I observe and respect the nuances and sensitivies of the people of any country, city or town I visit. As I need to work and do business in different countries (each culture has different ways of communicating, some not as straight forward as us Aussies), research on cultural norms and etiquette of the land is de rigueur (e.g. in China, they can do business different from one province to the other due to cultural diversity). I love dream time stories and am fascinated by the diverse culture and art of the traditional owners of Australia. I am a guest in this country as you are and I respect that. Afterall, that is part of my culture too, as I am an Australian just like you. Thanks. xxx
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' So anyway, ...where is your family from??? Haha. Cheeky. x
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madotara69
12 years ago
As a friend said here a while back, there were no original land owners, just carers. It's not ours to give, but we welcome any who just want to care for each other and this place that we can only ruin for ourselves, the planet will keep going on well after we are gone. The owners of the land is the spirit it has, it's wildlife and fauna, mother nature. Does not matter where we come from, more too where we belong*
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' As a friend said here a while back, there were no original land owners, just carers. It's not ours to give, but we welcome any who just want to care for each other and this place that we can only ruin for ourselves, the planet will keep going on well after we are gone. The owners of the land is the spirit it has, it's wildlife and fauna, mother nature. Does not matter where we come from, more too where we belong* yes, so true... x
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
I come from my mum and dad and a little bits of this, whole mix of bits and pieces = a bitsa. My mum is Spanish/Italian (more Italian) and my dad is native Australian, meaning some aboriginal heritage background. My family tree goes way back to the first fleet and more, there is a large variety of mixed cultures, even some Chinese thrown in. I think it comes back to those who are uneducated and core values from generation to generation. For example years ago - using Chinese as example during gold rush days 1800's... The Chinese had physical appearances that they were subject of racism.....and that racism has stuck to where it is today, because it has been handed down from generation to generation.. Today's society is becoming more acceptable, more open, more inter-racial marriages etc etc...I believe there has been a great breakthough in society today than what it was 100 yrs ago People are more accepting I reckon, however there are "some" people in society who's core values/family values and lack of education will not change - I feel sorry for them. Foxy
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him_and_me
12 years ago
I was born here, my parents are both immigrants and while I don't stick out in this country visually, but my name is quite unusual here so it's happened a few times when I've been asked "Where are you from?" to which I tend to reply "The Northern Territory". I'm not trying to be a smart arse, its the truth, but this answer is usually met with a look of slight confusion. I've also been asked once or twice how long I've been in the country. It makes me giggle inside. If I'm curious about someone else's heritage I tend to ask what their back ground is, or what the origin of their name is. I find it interesting where people come from or what their cultural heritage is and it can lead to some interesting converations. Lily, it's easier said than done but I'd try not to let it worry you. Hugs, x Me
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' Today's society is becoming more acceptable, more open, more inter-racial marriages etc etc...I believe there has been a great breakthough in society today than what it was 100 yrs ago People are more accepting I reckon, however there are "some" people in society who's core values/family values and lack of education will not change - I feel sorry for them. Foxy I concur, as stated in my original post, wrt to the changing attitudes of our society, mainly due to the globalization and speed and accessibility of information from all corners of the world, no matter how out of reach they seem to be at this point. Thanks to progress in Information technology. I believe it can only get better and the world will get smaller, as communication barriers are broken down. I live in hope.Thanks for the post and sharing.x
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' Asian is quite a broad term and sometimes I think they are referring to where your background lies rather than where you are actually from, they just don't put it in that context. I find it makes for good conversation and also getting to know someone to know their background. I am half Scottish, it is a great excuse for my bad temper!Would have to agree with you on this one Ralf... I have asked that question before, not because my long hair covers my red neck but because I am genuinely interested in where that person's heritage lies in the broad perspective of being Asian. Asia has such a rich culture and history and it can be fascinating to find out the story behind the broad classification of being Asian. Can't speak for everyone, but in my instance I have asked it purely out of wanting to know more about that person. Cheers :)
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sweetgem
12 years ago
I hope they didn't drop it on the ground lol maybe you should remind them to be careful next time, lilyorchid lol Seriously, I don't know what it is that makes SOME non-Asian people think of us Asians as alien-alike! Maybe I should just grab the next person who stares at me (when I'm with a white man) and ask them why would they stare at me so impolitely?! But then again, can I be bothered?.....NO! Nowadays, I just play along, when I get the dirty stares, and say to my date: "when can I get my visa babe?" Lol Yes, we are not silly, we can tell whether people are asking the question from a genuine and respectful intention or not. I don't mind for this question to come up during a conversation, but not as the very first question! The same with the "how long have you been living in Australia" question. I would be happy to share the info if it was asked from a genuine POV, but not if it was because I do not have much Aussie accent in my speech! Get real, even some teachers at school don't even have Aussie accent and they're teaching English! So please (to those ignorant non-Asian peeps), leave us Asians alone, will you?! - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
12 years ago
Now you have me started lily, There is something like seven billion people, give or take a few, and twenty million in Australia, now fair enough half the place is desert and one must really know their shit too live in it, half of it wants too kill you and the rest spends most of it's life dead in order to survive for a little while in between rain, so most people are somewhere near water. But still how many times does 20 mill go into 7 bill, ( trying too keep this short) fuck ( excuse the language but got too keep hot topics on sex stuff) that's a lot of people and it has been told that some places in Asia for example have the whole population of Oz in places as big as just one of our cities. Say look at us in here bickering over some names, labels, terms, men are arseholes and women are in fact beautiful, I even love one, but some places if a woman gets raped they stone her to death. Some places men have many wives, must be fucking super studs and have heaps of patients. Don't know which gender does better there, as women seem to be happy all together as well, hardly would the woman get used in that scenario as the hubby would have his work cut out for him that's for sure. (teamwork a must) Then there is places where having children is on a limit type thing, one each or permission? Other places there's millions living in boxes. Then there is jungles where it has been told there is people living in them that still have never been found, how they work that out? (and they eat each other) We all get a bit upset in here now and then, but when it comes down to it, we all get along pretty well, so if someone asks where you come from,(ancestry) say it was us. Then we really want too know, there is so much to learn. Say the occasional dimwit is having a go at you, think about all of us and you can smile instead.
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RHP User
12 years ago
What a delightful post :) OP, I also ask taxi drivers where they're from all the time. They're invariably foreign with strong accents. Maybe it pisses them off because everyone asks them, but I'm genuinely bursting with curiosity about their background, their culture, how they find Australia and much more. Most of the time we end up in awesome conversations once they realise I'm not inferring they've got no right to be here/take our jobs/yada yada whatever the yobbos would say. I just wonder if you're missing out on awesome conversations with a lot of the people who ask you where you're from. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Australia has a history of actively banning migrants from Asia and Africa,indeed any person of colour....this was known as the White Australia policy .Its origins are in the gold fields where miners were resentful of the Chinese on the Gold Fields....legislation began in 1910.....The White Australia Policy was only abolished in 1966,and it was only in 1973 that legislation was enacted that meant all migrants of whatever origin would be eligible for citizenship. It was only in the 1960s that Indigenous people were given the right to vote......The last census in 2011 revealed that a quarter of Australians were born overseas and forty-eight percent have at least one parent who was born overseas,we speak over 300 different languages...........Yes attitudes are changing but slowly....Sweet gem and Lily,I am sorry that you have had such negative experiences but I also think many people would have a genuine interest in your heritage.....on a lighter note,many people think when they hear my voice that I am English...how dare they,my heritage is Scottish:-) :-) :-) hugs xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
Would you take offence if the same question was asked while you were somewhere else, say travelling around Europe? Or Asia? Would it be condescending to me if I came to China/Vietnam/India/Guatemala and got asked where I was from, just because I don't look like a local? I can understand how it could be insulting if someone said to me "oh so you're Russian, that means you probably don't understand English, go get a translator". But asking where I'm from?.. What's the issue with that?
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RHP User
12 years ago
its a delight to be asked where do you come from....I always say I was a German.....and people look at me and say.......was??? Yaa I had to become an Aussie to vote....and the Germans 20 years ago took my passport.....lol SO now I am an Aussie with a German accent and German Heritage. I will be off to see my family shortly and after a little whole will cry inside because I miss Australia. I have never felt so home as here....the first step I have felt I am home at last. I love we are all from everywhere....thats make us so uniquie......and when someone sits in front of me who has an accent I ask and smile and talk and welcome them. We are a bunch of colorful Aussies and I hope we never blend into one colour......beige.....yuk
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RHP User
12 years ago
I just everyone I'm a White Indigenous Australian
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RHP User
12 years ago
Brain travelling faster than the fingers.............................I just 'TELL' everyone I'm a White Indigenous Australian
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting Me from Him_and_Me. Oops, we were guilty of that the first time we met you. Lol. And yes you did stop us in our tracks with your NT answer. In our defence though, yes we were making conversation because you have gorgeous exotic European looks, a bit of an accent and a name to match and we were curious because we love peoples 'stories'. NT wasn't the answer we expected but we knew there was a story there as to your heritage. Yes, we didn't word the question right but that's splitting hairs, we wanted to know more about you out of genuine interest not your family. You still had a story, NT was still exotic because it was different to our up bringing. I'm exotic, from where I grew up, my husband maybe not so much ha ha. But hey, everyone is interesting and should not be judged on face value..... So yes others are ignorant to the fact that people find the question offensive but it's not meant to be, it just means they are interested in finding out more about you (would you prefer they talk about the weather?....... Lol). Our best vanilla friends are from a mixed heritage (the wife is Australian but has an exotic Dutch name having a Dutch father & an Aussie mum and the hubby is a gorgeous Irishman who has been in Oz half his life). We love them to bits.... As we do all our Aussie friends too. What never ceases to amaze me is the connections that you can make with people that have a totally different upbringing to you but for us that's more a spiritual thing...... You know, when you meet someone and it's so comfortable you feel like you've known them forever? Guess it happens a lot in RHP land? But now I've got side tracked and that's probably food for another topic. Might just start a new thread. Xo Mrs LTL - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Litonya' its a delight to be asked where do you come from....I always say I was a German.....and people look at me and say.......was??? Yaa I had to become an Aussie to vote....and the Germans 20 years ago took my passport.....lol I used to be Dutch until 8 years ago. Now I'm just Australian.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I thnk it is a compliment when people ask my heritage - Shows they have some amount of depth. I ask Asians where they are from all the time as I have traveled through out SEA and it is nice too find some common ground. I also ask Europeans as this is my heritage. Do you truly believe we do not accept immigrants to compliment our country for culture and diversity anymore or are you just being paranoid?
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RHP User
12 years ago
all those who are saying the OP is being too paranoid / taking it too seriously....the issue here is in 'how' people are asking her the question. By asking "where are you from?" it seems they are assuming that because the OP is Asian she can't have been born here and just be another Australian. As she said, if people ask something like, "what is your background?", or "what is your heritage", that is a more acceptable way to approach the matter, particularly if they've heard her speak with an Australian accent. Obviously for those of you who have non-Australian accents, it's not an issue for someone to ask where you're from because it's pretty likely that you weren't born / raised in Australia. People ask my dad that all the time and he has no problem with it, even though he too is an Australian citizen and has been for many years. Also with the exception of sweetgem most of the other people who have commented have European backgrounds, and although there may be some slight external differences people of European descent generally have a fairly similar Caucasian appearance, and most people probably couldn't tell just by looking at you that you're from another country or have European ancestry. It is a very different experience for those of Asian backgrounds - sweetgem's post alone should show how much different it is, when you are sometimes treated with suspicion just because of how you look. And as Qefenta pointed Australia does not have a great record when it comes to those of Asian descent. Don't always think that your own experiences or feelings should be or are universal - they aren't.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23'the issue here is in 'how' people are asking her the question. By asking "where are you from?" it seems they are assuming that because the OP is Asian she can't have been born here and just be another Australian. As she said, if people ask something like, "what is your background?", or "what is your heritage", that is a more acceptable way to approach the matter, particularly if they've heard her speak with an Australian accent. Simples!
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RHP User
12 years ago
"what is your heritage"
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RHP User
12 years ago
"Well....when a man and a woman meet, fall in love, they get naked and ......" Usually by this time they've interjected :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' all those who are saying the OP is being too paranoid / taking it too seriously....the issue here is in 'how' people are asking her the question. By asking "where are you from?" it seems they are assuming that because the OP is Asian she can't have been born here and just be another Australian. I think there's a LOT to be said for giving people the benefit of the doubt and assuming their intentions are good. In reality we don't all communicate the same way, using the same words. Yes, I absolutely believe words are important, are powerful, and can hurt, but I also think it's sensible to check what someone means before reacting. Particularly in Australia we talk in abbreviations and shortened phrases, so 'where do you come from?' can be a simple, inoffensive way to get to know someone. It takes two people to create a conflict - what one person does and how another person reacts. OP, I haven't walked in your shoes so I don't know what it feels like for you to have this happen constantly. I have however walked in the shoes of someone who loves and is fascinated by different cultures. I'm also an avid traveller and have been asked 'where are you from?" countless times. I'll certainly be more thoughtful about the whole issue from here on, and I'm hoping you'll be able to see it from different perspectives as well.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We were asked for our opinion and gave it - I am sick of being vilified in here by certain people! My parents went through a very hard time when they migrated here - don't you talk to me about accents and the like. They chose too fit in though. We are so fucking politically correct these days! Shoot me!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't get pissy with me. I actually wasn't speaking to you, I was (politely) trying to explain a bit more about where the OP is coming from, I didn't say anything that could be construed as offensive towards you. Pull your head in.
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RHP User
12 years ago
as you so eloquently put it - we need to ALL be mindfull of how we script our opinions and no I will not pull my head in. Kettle Black - Much
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RHP User
12 years ago
Lilly I say I am Australian as I was born in Alice Springs. Mother country Victorian, Father Italian. I find all people interesting. Some I want to be near, some not. Were would I like to live you ask? LickaLand
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' Don't get pissy with me. I actually wasn't speaking to you, I was (politely) trying to explain a bit more about where the OP is coming from, I didn't say anything that could be construed as offensive towards you. Pull your head in. REOOW
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RHP User
12 years ago
What are you guys??? tortoises or turtles?? Oh, by the way...I'm from planet Earth... Where I come from, should not have any bearing whatsoever. Even though we get labelled all sorts of things. We pay the same taxes that you pay...some of you dodge them....lol.... We have taken Aussie citizenship, We are prepared to defend this country, One wonders....how many will run for cover when trouble comes knocking????
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fortands
12 years ago
Simple solution to those posing this question is .... If you are white (Australian or otherwise) would you ask a white RHP contact where they are from? Does it matter? Using a cultural background question in this day and age can (but not always does) imply a sense of unease (not necessarily racism) Racism is a very strong term and needs to be fully understood before it's labelled at anyone, regardless of cultural background. One couple asked us 'where's the fem from?' and then went on a ramble of epic proportions to tell us (the old fave) 'I have black friends and work with multicultural people' - the fall back option to clarify ones status. Why not get to know someone first, see the person, see the character and then make a call on compatibility? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Where you are from, it's where you are going and who with, that interests me!
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's the old book and cover Story..........unfortunately
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RHP User
12 years ago
Portuguese born - Australian raised
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RHP User
12 years ago
Long time coming.
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madotara69
12 years ago
people ask what planet I am from I just offer them a nyeghghttttmmmmnd bar and wait for their face too turn into an gnoddddhirnheeeerf..!
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RHP User
12 years ago
i asked a skimpy in Kalgoorlie last weekend where she was from.....she was stunning, and she proudly said her mum was from Pupua and dad german. i only asked because i was i was intrested....after her shift she came over to our table and chatted to us for hours about her family and history....nothung racist or down grading, just interested. and no i didnt ask if she wanted any Australian in her - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I know the feeling but what I can say is especially in Perth we have such a variety of nationalities here. If I met you I think I would ask what your background is. As you may still have some US and Canadian flavour to your Australian lingo. Would make for great conversation I think. I studied my family ancestry and I'm six generation Irish from my convict relation arriving here with the second fleet. On my mother side we have scotish and chinese background. From an adopted child back in the 1800's. I love that we are all so different, which makes a change from growing up in a small NSW town with little change in nationalities. Here is hoping things improve for you and you can start making a joke for your response.
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ocean_man
12 years ago
I didn't read everyones response. A comparison if I may. I have broken many bones. People, even strangers, regularly ask what happened when they see a cast on a limb. People are curious when they see something or someone different. I don't take offense at their nosey parker questions. However, I was in a wheelchair for a bit after one injury. No plaster, just the wheelchair. NOBODY asked what happened! Why? Because most people don't want to offend or upset other people. What has that to do with racism. I have lived as part of a racial minority in foreign countries. And I have dated girls of different ethnicity. I have walked down the street with them and had people look. They were probably thinking "How did that ugly guy get that hot exotic women?" If I was looking for racism, I could interpret their look as " look at that pathetic white guy. who does he think he is dating one of our girls", or "what is that Asian girl doing hanging onto one of our guys?" If I met you and you had an Australian accent I might eventually get around to asking you about your heritage. I wouldn't ask you where you are from because it would be obvious you are from Australia. If you had a strong foreign accent, I might eventually get around to asking you where you are from. I have been asked those questions many times when living overseas. If you have a problem with somebody showing enough interest to ask about your heritage, or more bluntly, where you are from. Then I suggest you might want to ask yourself if you are 'experiencing' racism or 'looking' for racism. Perhaps they are just part of the curious majority, who don't have the experience to ask in a more polite "way" or you maybe right and they could be part of the relatively small racist minority. I think most people are either naïve or ignorant and some a racist. That doesn't mean they are they same thing.Rant over. Peace to all :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'd be happy just to get asked a question :) Where are you from would even suffice
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Where are yoooooooooooooooooooou??? Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sometimes I stare at a white man and Asian lady couple And think to myself, what a lucky bastard :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
We know you are from that oh so exotic burb Maryborough:-) :-) :-) xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
As soon as I speak to someone its one of the first questions I get asked or they take a guess at where I'm from. I have no issue with this as its all about getting to know someone...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I just say I'm from a vagina
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RHP User
12 years ago
That's not where I'm from though I did say once I'd rather be fucked in the arse than move to maryborough, I should have taken that option, the pain would have faded quicker :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I get asked if I'm Philipinno almost all the time maybe cos I am larger than the average Vietnamese woman? Both my parents are Chinese. I was born in Vietnam but I've lived and have been an Australian citizen for more than 30 years. I speak English with barely an accent but it's my Asian looks that have people curious. And I think it's more down to curiosity and interest rather than racism that people would want to know where I'm from. I doubt people who are racist would bother asking. They would just assume. If I encounter someone with an accent, I often ask where they're from. I love hearing about people's history, the different background, the different cultures - Posted from rhpmobile
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him_and_me
12 years ago
Quoting 'Long_time_lovers' Quoting Me from Him_and_Me. Oops, we were guilty of that the first time we met you. Lol. And yes you did stop us in our tracks with your NT answer. In our defence though, yes we were making conversation because you have gorgeous exotic European looks, a bit of an accent and a name to match and we were curious because we love peoples 'stories'. Mrs LTL - Posted from rhpmobile No offence was taken, promise! ;) x Me
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Nobody can or will truly understand how lilyorchid and I feel when we are asked the "where are you from?" question in a rude tone of voice and body language! Like lily and I have said in the beginning, we are not silly, of course we can differentiate the intention of people asking us that question. It is difficult for us to paint the picture to you unless you have walked in our shoes! I appreciate that many posters in this thread are trying to help lilyorchid and I understand that people might not mean bad intention when they ask the question of "where are you from". But because you are not Asian......definitely not lilyorchid and I......so you don't, and won't, understand how offensive it can be when we are asked that question in a discriminating manner! It is interesting that some of the posters have mentioned that they got asked the same question too when they go to foreign countries for work or holidays. IMO, such comparisons cannot be made, because they were only there for a very short period of time, and they might look a foreigner/tourist to the locals. So it is normal for the locals in foreign countries to have asked that question. However, it is a different vibe when you live in a country as a citizen, and certainly don't look like a tourist, but get asked "where are you from" with a rude tone of voice and body language, simply because you look no Caucasian and don't have much the local accent (in which case, me)! Anyways, my above comment does not mean to point finger at anyone at all. It is merely a POV of a directly affected person. Therefore, please do not read too much into it :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'bradjm63' That's not where I'm from though I did say once I'd rather be fucked in the arse than move to maryborough, I should have taken that option, the pain would have faded quicker :) Me grandmother is up there, now I don't have too worry for her
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madotara69
12 years ago
So on your profiles it says Asian, but what if I asked about Chinese, because I have some questions about the medicine? Chinese is Asian isn't it? I did not spent a lot of time in school, I have learnt everything here on RHP
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RHP User
12 years ago
The point that lily and sweet gem are making is that it's not just the question it's the attitude of the questioner...it is also systemic....and I imagine if you have enough bad experiences every time that you are asked the question,there is a reminder there......xxQ
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sweetgem'However, it is a different vibe when you live in a country as a citizen, and certainly don't look like a tourist, I used to get bombarded with "Whats happening in Neighbours?" "Have you ever met Charlene? (Kylie Minogue)" Just because I was from the country of origin, and had coloured skin vs pastey white, I was stereotyped... *sigh*
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta2' The point that lily and sweet gem are making is that it's not just the question it's the attitude of the questioner. Many who want to know where someone is from simply so they can put them into a box."Oh, you're Thai? You must be...." I think it gives some people a sense of control. Reminds me of a recent thread by a Russian poster who asked what people here would think/assume upon finding out his nationality.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Does it matter.. U r a person and you look and think the way you do.. It's not a relevant question Go well - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' So on your profiles it says Asian, but what if I asked about Chinese, because I have some questions about the medicine? Chinese is Asian isn't it? Would you ask a Vietnamese person if he eats dogs? Suggest a Russian must know all about Vodka? Ask an American if he really thinks America is the best country in the world? Say "Canadian, eh?" to a man from Canada? I used to have a boyfriend who was born in Zimbabwe. Whenever I mentioned this to someone, the first question was usually "Oh, a black guy?". No, he was white. Not that it mattered, but the assumption annoyed me. S, how many times were you called Mate or asked if we ride kangaroos here?
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madotara69
12 years ago
I feel awkward now asking someone with Asian background, a simple Question. I came straight over from the depression thread and I am hoping that there is someone, maybe one of these ladies about the most important medicines that have come from centuries of practice, most medicine these days come from Chinese/Asian Heritage. If some one asks me if I ride a kangaroo, I tell them I would if I could manage to get close enough too catch one, and the only way too get close enough too catch a Kangaroo is too pour salt on his tail. That'll keep em busy for a while. I read both lily and sweegems profiles and it says Asian, but I could not find which part of Asia they are saying, so it's only because of this thread I asked the question as I don't read many ladies profiles, I don't read many profiles at all, I just get too know the people from what they write in these forums. These ladies have been just one of us from what I have ever read and I am just treating them like one of us. I believe it is more offensive to ignore someone's heritage, and I hope we don't go doing that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I didn't mean to imply you crossed the line (I know you meant no offense at all), but bear in mind it's a fine one. Some people will be offended by a question like that, and some won't. You can't always tell.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My bosses are Chinese and another girl who worked with us was also. She was explaining to me the difference in their appearance in that my bosses who were born in the North were taller and bigger in stature than the more petite southerners. She was definitely smaller, shorter and more slight of frame than my bosses. I found it most interesting. I once had the attitude that all Asians look the same but since knowing them personally and having been to China, I can see the difference. I also had to laugh because when my boss was trying to explain a customer to me one day, she giggled at her own attempt to describe them and said she thinks we all look the same, lol. Also on tour in Thailand we got a run down on how the bordering countries also have an effect on the way the locals look, each corner of the country had a unique look, such as the Northeners looked Burmese, the easterners looked more Vietnamese etc and when we walked down the street, they could see us coming yelling Aussie, Aussie,Aussie! lol. I was most impressed that they could tell by looking, I did mess with one of them though telling him I was British, lol. He looked confused for a moment untill I let him down, haha.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I believe if your intentions are genuine irrespective of the response there should not be a problem.
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madotara69
12 years ago
When bubaj* gave us all those keyring clickers, when Meeka jumped in her seat that was me, he he I am just a big kid that loves everyone really. If I was face to face with lily or sweetgem or anyone, they would know that I meant no disrespect.
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RHP User
12 years ago
That I'm from Toowomba lol -and wait for their reaction - lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Quoting 'n4ughtyLatino' That I'm from Toowomba lol -and wait for their reaction - lol - Posted from rhpmobile HAHAHA I soooooooooooooo get that!! Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
We are lucky enough to have many people throughout the world of all colours and creeds as friends ( we host visitors of a service organisation)and yes we normally ask where they are from we we are first introduced. Not because we are rude or mean anything untoward but because we are interested. When we are overseas the same is asked of us! When in Oz we are asked as people want to know what area we are from in Oz. We love the Asian people and have been there on many occasions, they are friendly, accommodating, people and they generally ask where we are from.You are an attractive lady, hold your head high and be proud of your heritage. Most Ozzies are from overseas heritage. Ps we all know that here in Oz or overseas: if you cant be understood that you should talk much louder and slowly.Ha Ha.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I just love to get to know people no matter of race, skin colour or culture. I'm half German and half Austrian and I was always fascinated by Asian people and their cultures, and of course, being a male, the female gender.Meeting an Asian person always leads to the question where are you from or more likely what's your cultural background since I live in Australia.I don't want to offend anyone asking this question and I wasn't really aware that it would. So, thank you for opening my eyes to that, lilyorchid! Often there is a big difference between people born in an Asian country and Australian born Asians in how they react to questions or behaviour. For example, I learned that Japanese, Taiwanese and Korean girls don't like to be touched or kissed on the cheek when meeting or to show affection in public. For a lot of European and for Venezuelan people it is a normal thing to do, even if you're not close friends. Asian people can be easily offended by that but if you are an Australian born Asian you are probably be more relaxed about it. In my job I meet a lot of travellers from Asian countries and I know about their cultures. I do behave according their code of ethics and I'm careful when having a conversation if it leads into a sensitive area. Besides of being a good conversation starter, asking this question helps me to show these people the respect that they deserve according to their cultural upbringing. I do respect everyone anyway but I like to go the extra mile, if you know what I mean.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The Miss UNIVERSE pagent...Fck off!!!! What if a reptilian beauty came from Planet "Zorquefalia" about 1200 light years away, and tried to Nominate herself...(ACTUALLY.. She is in fact a SHE/HE.. because they are UNISEXUAL there)She would get told to FCK off, because she is now from Earth.. therefore cannot qualify.. THAT really pisses me off!!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not NOW...
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RHP User
12 years ago
on behalf of all the males in Australia..."We are PROUD to call you One-of-us"
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madotara69
12 years ago
A new fuck buddy by any chance Cavey, You have been quiet lately? You seem a little emotional.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I went on a date with this gorgeous black chick from Holland a few weeks ago, and at one point I asked her, "So what's your heritage?". I'd kinda already decided she was most likely Sinhalese from Sri Lanka, born in Holland, and to me that shit is interesting! I sensed straight away that she was sick of answering this question, and was annoyed that I didn't just think of her as Dutch. I let it go when she answered shortly that her family was from Sri Lanka and had emigrated to Europe and then she quickly changed the subject. I didn't mean any offense, I'm interested! I don't truly understand why she was troubled by this. I also had this same thing with a Morroccan Arabic girl from Holland I dated last year, and she was more talkative on the subject, and told me life in Holland is hard for foreign descendants, as the Dutch are deeply racist. WTF am I to do? I wanna know about you, I'm gonna ask you. Revel in who you are and where your features came from. I do. All pussy is pink ;) RA
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think I might have displayed a little annoyance at a post or two .. Did it show?????
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'RandomAgent' the Dutch are deeply racist. There are too many.
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RHP User
12 years ago
People in NSW have told me for years that the Queenslanders are the most racist. I'm not agreeing with that at all, but find it interesting one group will always point at another for being less tolerant, whether justified or not.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Regardless of how much we acknowledge politically correct doctrines consciously, I think our subconscious fears surface when we're not on our guard. While two of my very best friends are Lebanese, I still feel uncomfortable and wary around Middle Eastern men I don't know.I know it's a minority of the muslim people that are actually a problem, but they are a very conspicuous minority who make themselves noticed in the media frequently. With that much of a negative image projected, it's hard to ignore it.I think also, that everyone's id is convinced of it's own superiority over people not like ourselves. This would promote racism on an instinctual level. Just my own theory though.
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RHP User
12 years ago
a few years ago and a German asked me where I was from and I replied 'Townsville'. He gave me a weird look as do a lot of Australians as they don't know where it is either.
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RHP User
12 years ago
One of my besties in high school was 3rd generation Australian with 100% Japanese heritage. He was treated like shit constantly. Spoken to like a moron until he opened his mouth with his full dinky di accent. Yelled at across a pub to "go back to where he came from". As the ladies say, they know the difference with how the question is poised. Some people are just racist.
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madotara69
12 years ago
has this thread upset you?
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'cavey50' on behalf of all the males in Australia..."We are PROUD to call you One-of-us" thanks Cavey... mwah!!! xxx
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'kinky_gemini' Would you take offence if the same question was asked while you were somewhere else, say travelling around Europe? Or Asia? Would it be condescending to me if I came to China/Vietnam/India/Guatemala and got asked where I was from, just because I don't look like a local? I can understand how it could be insulting if someone said to me "oh so you're Russian, that means you probably don't understand English, go get a translator". But asking where I'm from?.. What's the issue with that? You are missing the point. There is no comparison. apples and oranges. The context is different. You area visitor in Europe or anywhere in Asia or anywhere else where you dont speak the language (speak the language but not of the local intonation), you may physically stand out, dress differently, etc. That alone will invoke a sense of curiousity and interest among the locals. You may get this for a week, a month or a year. So the question is not offensive. Try it for a LIFETIME. In my case, dear man, I am an Australian, just like you. I speak with an Australian accent (raised in country Victoria). I am deeply patriotic, a good tax payer, highly educated, a contributor to my community in different social programs in my area (most beneficiaries are of white background but all good for me as long as it makes life easier for my fellow Aussies) and nationally, and an astute and concerned investor in the future of our economy and cultural growth. Do not condescend me by minimizing my experiences and your perception that Sweetgem and I, and among other Asians, can not discern the difference from curiosity and interest as opposed to racism. Most of the time, we know the question was raised out of curiosity and we live with it. We understand there is no malice in that. We can live with that and enjoy the ensuing conversation. Make no mistake on that. What we are trying to say to you is for you to understand and view things on our side of the fence when the question is asked way too often. We are tapping on your sense of empathy that there are ways to ask people of their heritage. Giving you our perspective that it is for us a NORM to be asked this day in, day out if I speak like an Australian, dress like an Australian (smartwear, ok, not into thongs nor bogan wear) and live like one. IT IS THE FREQUENCY AND THE WAY IT IS ASKED. Sometimes, challenge your norms when presented with a different view. Take time, if you must, for new ideas to settle in. . Here, I present to you a challenge to be in our shoes for 1 minute or so, a glimpse in your life, within the comfort of your armchair. Take it as an opportunity for inner growth. I do not want to change you as that is not the point. Growth has to come from within, starting with the acceptance of an idea. The mind is verdant and the heart open, if you allow it. I appreciate some posters comments, specially constructive one. Luckdragon and Q, you have hit the nail on the head. Specially Lady Luckdragon. You have earned my utter respect for you as a person of intelligence and perception. Your post has succinctly described what I have poorly articulated in my initial posting and I truly appreciate it. As per my previous emails, I do not expect all to understand or change. If one decides to lock out of the discussion as it may challenge your way of thinking, that can not be helped. I wish you well in your future. Peace.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Earlier in this thread, I wrote about his innocent curiosity regarding people's ethnicity while, in another recent thread, I wrote about his abusive manner of discipline. Two sides of the one man. He had no trouble making friends (while I am very slow to form friendships). Anyway, I digress.My Father formed a firm friendship with the traditional Chinese Acupuncturist who treated his back pain. They became so close that, when he died, his daughter came to live with us for a few months until she got back on her feet. She hated the question vehemently. When ever she was asked where she was from, regardless of the manner in which the question was put, she would snap back, "I'm Australian, where are you from?!" Then she would turn her back on the person and ignore him. No second chances.My own impression of your post has been influenced by her attitude. You have illustrated that you have more patience with idle curiosity and are well aware of the difference in the attitudes in which the question can be put. I'm very sorry if you found my opinions condescending. I didn't mean any offence.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Personally I have this thing in mind, something like the saying " Too catch a robber, first you must think like one" Not all robbers are so easy too catch, as not all can think like them. So where this confuses me, to think how you feel is because I don't think of you as any than an Aussie, Aussies come from everywhere. I think it has a lot to do with my upbringing, because my step dad was naturalised, a good Japanese friend of our family naturalised and a German friend also, and all I remember was the parties in the back yard. I get a feeling that the people you most want too understand this what you are saying, simply don't care and I doubt any of this will change that. Who the fuck are they anyway. bahahaha Mado Tara xx
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' Earlier in this thread, I wrote about his innocent curiosity regarding people's ethnicity while, in another recent thread, I wrote about his abusive manner of discipline. Two sides of the one man. He had no trouble making friends (while I am very slow to form friendships). Anyway, I digress.My Father formed a firm friendship with the traditional Chinese Acupuncturist who treated his back pain. They became so close that, when he died, his daughter came to live with us for a few months until she got back on her feet. She hated the question vehemently. When ever she was asked where she was from, regardless of the manner in which the question was put, she would snap back, "I'm Australian, where are you from?!" Then she would turn her back on the person and ignore him. No second chances.My own impression of your post has been influenced by her attitude. You have illustrated that you have more patience with idle curiosity and are well aware of the difference in the attitudes in which the question can be put. I'm very sorry if you found my opinions condescending. I didn't mean any offence. no offence taken. I think I know what you meant in your prev post. It is just good that you can see my point of view. Thank you for your contribution. You have seen THE QUESTION in action, first hand with your house guest and you can relate to it. Putting things in perspective. As someone mentioned in their previous post, just because it is not happening to you, it does not happen at all. Your experience is unique to you and you make it as productive and make it count as you want and allow your mind and heart to do so. And if you do, it is called growth and evolution as a human being. Not easy for some as it challenges all the very foundation of their beliefs and upbringring. Xxx
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Personally I have this thing in mind, something like the saying " Too catch a robber, first you must think like one" Not all robbers are so easy too catch, as not all can think like them. Thanks for the positive post and encouragement.However, one does not have to be a victim of rape or pedophilia to understand or empathize with the victims regardless of race, age or creed. We can never feel the depth of the pain of the victims in any situation but we can feel for them, empathize with them and certain take away some lessons in life. That is the beautiful gift of empathy.Is that so hard? but i think I understand what you are saying.lots of hugs to you both.xxx
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madotara69
12 years ago
I empathise with you for sure, though I have no empathy for those who treat you as if you don't belong here. Belonging is a very meaningful thing.
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Seachange73
12 years ago
So have you got your visa yet? Lol. I'm working on mine so catch up girlfriend.... X
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RHP User
12 years ago
Foreign looks (but Australia is a melting pot you say) with a local accent. (Skin tone) White is Definitely All Right but Very Down for Brown. Like...YUMMY
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