F56
Manly men... what does this mean to you?
May 28 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Don't be scared people....... no cock sucking here!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Strong arms and a tender heart. Tall, athletic, muscles, facial hair. A little dominant. Sensitive and capable of deep love and intense passion. In charge, takes care of business, wields a mean power tool :) I might just print what I wrote and send it to Santa this year ...
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RHP User
14 years ago
To me, being a manly man, is a lot of things, some of which most folk might not associate with manliness.Yes, being hard/tough is one all should agree on, as is protector of partner and any kids. However, even tho I believe showing that softer side is just part of who I am, most guys would mark me down for it. Same for being understanding and compassionate.Most important to me, is to just be me, not try to be something or someone else.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I just snuggle into his strong arms and fall asleep there every night.
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RHP User
14 years ago
isnt he the 'old spice' dude.....lol..
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RHP User
14 years ago
I love being a man..i dont find it a burden being a provider or having to look strong etc..i may live on my own and only have myself to look after, but i have always wanted to pay or be a gentleman..i think as i have got older i understand what being a man is more.. but hey i still have a tear during a chick flick, i dont need to be macho just a normal man..in heels ! lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
IF..... IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,But make allowance for their doubting too;If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,Or being hated, don't give way to hating,And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;If you can meet with Triumph and DisasterAnd treat those two impostors just the same;If you can bear to hear the truth you've spokenTwisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,And lose, and start again at your beginningsAnd never breathe a word about your loss;If you can force your heart and nerve and sinewTo serve your turn long after they are gone,And so hold on when there is nothing in youExcept the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,If all men count with you, but none too much;If you can fill the unforgiving minuteWith sixty seconds' worth of distance run,Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son! *** Personally, a man to me doesn't have to prove himself to anyone, he has confidence and self-belief. Then again, a woman should be the same - there's no reason why the above stuff wouldn't apply to a woman. I respond very well to strong women. I've spent too much time criticising gender roles to put too much faith in them (in theory)!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Asking the hard questions. Is the answer 42....oh no thats that other question!To me, I think it is to be the provider, yet accept it's a team effort.To give your partner freedom to grow, explore and fight their own battles, whilst knowing when to step in if needed.To listen and encourage.To indulge in mutual sillyness and make her laugh. (my fave job)To be around for the kids as much as possible.To be the one to keep it all together when things turn to shit.To remember her birthday and our anniversary...lolCheers Felonius
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RHP User
14 years ago
make my skin crawl. The only thing I have really strived to do as a man is not follow the pack, be one of "the boys"The whole macho misogynist racist crap has pissed me off for decades, endless sport shits me, tough cars are a waste of money and getting mindlessly pissed every weekend is for the tools.Love being creative and building stuff and like a physical challenge which was offshore yachting for a while.I love providing for my children but have no interest in supporting a professional housewife.I love woman who love their work and am not bothered the slightest by their earning capacity as long as it is not used as a club.I relish having emotions and weeping on Anzac day, I'm probably a bit of a softcock for many woman but I couldn't care less I like me and that's what counts.
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RHP User
14 years ago
With the pressures of societies expectations today the real man has been squashed, pulled, bulldozed, torn apart, rebuilt to the point where many men don't know what/who they are suppose to be.Being a man to me.- being strong in the time of need (emotionally and physically) - being a provider - but not necessarily monetary- being a there for my daughter (seeing what a hug can do as you pick her up and she nestles into your chest and her arms around you like their is no tomorrow - the feeling of being her strength)- as i get older knowing myself - the real me - through meditation, travel and opening the mind- in general being strong in mind and body, is saying that I often shed a tear - usually for others doing it tough or succeeding though the hard or bad times.I also lovehaving my lady close to me, holding hands, snuggling into my chest.helping and being there.
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RHP User
14 years ago
To me, a man is strong...he has the courage of his convictions but is strong enough to let his heart lead the way when the time is right. A man is there to catch me when I fall, to scoop me up in his arms as if I were light as a feather and carry me to bed and take my breath away. To me, being a man isn't about dominance, but about equality, recognition and the right level of give and take. Oh, and if he happens to have broad shoulders and strong arms, well, that's just an added bonus!
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RHP User
14 years ago
to me its is being honest and steadfast in the face of adversity, and having the courage of your convictions, and the character to carry those convictions through.men who are married and who live their lives as such....without deception and deceit, regardless of what might be happening...or not....at home.who give rather than take. men who drink to be social, not to be drunks. who can shed a tear at the appropriate time, and who can be stoic and strong when needed. men who make promises and give undertakings, and would move heaven and hell to ensure they come to pass. who are rough and tumble, but who can show tenderness and softness when dealing with their loved ones. men who are 'dads' in every way....who are 'connected' with their children, and who can change nappies without the 'gagging' and take anothers child and treat them like their own. men who live their lives with passion and energy, and who share that with their partners before sharing it with their mates.
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RHP User
14 years ago
is someone who - has strong character, knows what he wants and goes for it - has a soft nurturing side that no one else sees - knows his mind but is open to new things - has a sense of humour and doesn't take himself too seriously - is happy to be in an equal partnership - someone who will look after and protect me and sweep me up in his arms - a sensual lover and maybe a little dominant too sometimes - is strong, confident and can take charge Hmmmm....sounds like someone I know SF xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Strong of character, slightly dominant, tall, ruggard, masculine. The character bit is the most important , not arrogant or rude , strong enough in himself to live and let live . Big enough physically to wrap his arms around you and for you to feel safe. Masculine enough to fix things, be the sane one to your womanly worries, have a high rampant sex drive , and an integrity that other men envy :) I married one 22 years ago , he is pretty cool :) It is the ONLY Type of man I am attracted to sexually !
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RHP User
14 years ago
Mrs Del..could tell from your description it was Mr Del!! This couple have the art and joy of swinging down to a fine art.. Quoting 'DeliciousCplBris' Strong of character, slightly dominant, tall, ruggard, masculine. The character bit is the most important , not arrogant or rude , strong enough in himself to live and let live . Big enough physically to wrap his arms around you and for you to feel safe. Masculine enough to fix things, be the sane one to your womanly worries, have a high rampant sex drive , and an integrity that other men envy :) I married one 22 years ago , he is pretty cool :) It is the ONLY Type of man I am attracted to sexually !
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RHP User
14 years ago
You know.. when "The Great War" broke out.. kids as young as 14 signed up to go, to fight and die. They were men. the soldiers themselves.. were men.. SOME were Gay, BUT, they were MEN And, the Women?? we can say "They were MEN" too. My point here is reasonably simple.. (in my craggy head...) "We are always on some ill gotton search to categorise everything in our lives.." "What is love" "What is a real man" "when does a person get referred to as Bisexual" "When is a girl a slut" look at the lyrics below.. was the cowboy a man for riding bulls? a man for calling his wife and asking permission to come home? For hinting to her he was a cripple? for reading what she said.. and heading out the other way? Or was he a man for any other reasons you may gleen from the song? BECAUSE: just about any response Meeks will get from her post, can be answered (pro AND con) in the song.. AND furthermore.. a decent woman can fullfill virtually any requirement those answers may cover.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Silence in the line Took my last fall in San DiegoBus headed north one headed southI call a farm in ColoradoAnd I lift a dusty pay phone to my mouthShe says hello I say it's me honSorry I stayed away so longTell the kids thier old man's through with playin' rodeoCause if it's alright with you I'm comin' homeWell there's silence on the lineShe says you sure did take your timeBut I still need a man for the things a man is good forYou know how it is raisin' crops and raisin' kidsDemands a man at least as fit as you areSo come on git on home there's hay that needs a mowin'A boy that needs a whippin' and a hundred things to doI hope you've finally found your mindTo leave that rodeo behindI've spent half my life just waitin' here for youI guess that nows the time I'd better tell herHon I've got this old friend that's here with meHe used to be a cowboy and a good one so they sayBut now his legs are crippled he can't walk you seeBut hon you ought to hear him tell his storiesSing the old songs play the guitar tooI'd really like to show him ColoradoBut I thought I'd better leave it up to youWell there's silence on the lineAnd now I hear her sayin'Babe I only need a man for the things a man is good forAnd you know how it is a place just half this bigDemands a man at least as fit as you arePut yourself in his place it'd awful hard to faceAll the chores and work and nothing he could doIf you want to know my mind leave that rodeo bum behindDon't waste our time I'm waitin' here for youWell cryin's just for kids I put down the phoneFumble with my crutches movin' slowI wish that I was on the bus that's Colorado boundAnd I hope the weather's nice in Mexico ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cavey.. always in a cave
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RHP User
14 years ago
First point...physical height doesn't equate to 'manliness' or any kind of strength of character. I've met plenty of tall pussies and plenty of short incredibly masculine men. "manly" or masculine is a character test, not a physical one. Being 'manly' can include having the strength of your convictions, being a man of your word as in acting it as well as saying it, of being the protector and strength, the direct and focussed to the woman's emotional roundness and flightiness, its being clear and strong enough if your own self and identity not to let anyone or anything impact on your esteem or confidence, its having compassion and empathy but the strength to fight when required, its knowing when to be open and vulnerable and strong enough to allow yourself to do so despite fear, its having the ability to love and kill in the same moment if required. Being a man is about leading your woman with an open hand and making her feel safe enough to follow without question, knowing that she's valued and loved and protected, but also knowing there are clear boundaries in place for game playing and bad behaviour, being a man is knowing you can walk away at any moment and still be happy and that any woman would be lucky to be part of your inner circle.
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RHP User
14 years ago
A manly man can be any age, size or shape. A manly man has strength , not just physical,he shows when he is vulnerable,is kind and compassionate. He is empathic, has courage and integrity. He laughs,he cries,and he loves like there is no tomorrow....and of course his taste in women is impeccablex Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
Interesting post ........Growing up in a family, where I was the only male and seeing the pain the woman went through due to heartbreak for the man they loved,I often wondered what being a true man is....... To me I think a true man, is a man who is brave enough to acknowledge his emotions and care for the ones he loves in his life. Knowing that love is an action not a word, and that honesty shows pure courage whilst lies and abuse, show pure weakness and fear. Being a man means standing up for what you believe in, and acknowledging your mistakes instead of justifying them, not trying to find approval from others, but instead approving of yourself. A true man lives by his word and not by his pecker. Being a true man demonstrates the ability to dust yourself off and get back on your feet after hitting an all time low. Living life through ones heart instead of through ones head, or even little head .
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RHP User
14 years ago
It was the Solo dude!!! Quoting 'mikeandshel' isnt he the 'old spice' dude.....lol..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jokerza' Interesting post ........Growing up in a family, where I was the only male and seeing the pain the woman went through due to heartbreak for the man they loved,I often wondered what being a true man is....... To me I think a true man, is a man who is brave enough to acknowledge his emotions and care for the ones he loves in his life. Knowing that love is an action not a word, and that honesty shows pure courage whilst lies and abuse, show pure weakness and fear. Being a man means standing up for what you believe in, and acknowledging your mistakes instead of justifying them, not trying to find approval from others, but instead approving of yourself. A true man lives by his word and not by his pecker. Being a true man demonstrates the ability to dust yourself off and get back on your feet after hitting an all time low. Living life through ones heart instead of through ones head, or even little head . A compliment only jokerza, you are one lovely young man
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Saturn65' It was the Solo dude!!! Quoting 'mikeandshel' isnt he the 'old spice' dude.....lol.. not the goofy one that chases the barrel in the new ad tho....lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'DontGrabThat' Quoting 'jokerza' Interesting post ........Growing up in a family, where I was the only male and seeing the pain the woman went through due to heartbreak for the man they loved,I often wondered what being a true man is....... To me I think a true man, is a man who is brave enough to acknowledge his emotions and care for the ones he loves in his life. Knowing that love is an action not a word, and that honesty shows pure courage whilst lies and abuse, show pure weakness and fear. Being a man means standing up for what you believe in, and acknowledging your mistakes instead of justifying them, not trying to find approval from others, but instead approving of yourself. A true man lives by his word and not by his pecker. Being a true man demonstrates the ability to dust yourself off and get back on your feet after hitting an all time low. Living life through ones heart instead of through ones head, or even little head . A compliment only jokerza, you are one lovely youn Why thank you DontGrabthat
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RHP User
14 years ago
How much of all of this stuff everyone's just identified is unique to a 'manly man', as opposed to a woman? How many of the above traits would you say would or should apply to a good woman? Things like honour, loyalty, conviction, humour, a balance of toughness and softness? I personally cannot stand princesses, and am much more attracted to strong (though still feminine) women than 'soft' ones. I'm also put off somewhat by effeminate men. For me it's all about a balance of 'masculine' and 'feminine' traits - she loves to get dressed up, have her 'girly' time with her friends or snuggle in with a movie, yet is equally at home relaxing with a beer or using power tools. That said, I do also appreciate the more visceral reactions people have described. I love to fold my arms around a woman and hold her in close. On occasion though, I also like to be the little spoon! It's such a complex and fascinating topic. I think either sex can be annoying if they're too much one way or the other, so aim for balance! To quote Trainspotting quoting Gregory's Girl: "In a thousand years, there will be no men and women. Just wankers. And that's fine by me!"
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RHP User
14 years ago
But I think that's being a true/functional *human* ;) I would extend those and others virtues to *all*. I think manly is about hormones- You can have a true man that is how you described that isn't manly because of his physical attributes. So I reckon there is a difference between 'manly' and being a 'true man' :) You can have a complete arsehole that is manly- but not a true man ;)Quoting 'DontGrabThat' Quoting 'jokerza' Interesting post ........Growing up in a family, where I was the only male and seeing the pain the woman went through due to heartbreak for the man they loved,I often wondered what being a true man is....... To me I think a true man, is a man who is brave enough to acknowledge his emotions and care for the ones he loves in his life. Knowing that love is an action not a word, and that honesty shows pure courage whilst lies and abuse, show pure weakness and fear. Being a man means standing up for what you believe in, and acknowledging your mistakes instead of justifying them, not trying to find approval from others, but instead approving of yourself. A true man lives by his word and not by his pecker. Being a true man demonstrates the ability to dust yourself off and get back on your feet after hitting an all time low. Living life through ones heart instead of through ones head, or even little head . A compliment only jokerza, you are one lovely young man
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think manly is height and physical stature too , we are not talking " good men" or " well rounded men" but manly men. A man who displays 2 x everything you use to describe a man :) Like a womanly woman , curvy and soft - there are certain physical characteristics which go with this description :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'brisguy69007' First point...physical height doesn't equate to 'manliness' or any kind of strength of character. I've met plenty of tall pussies and plenty of short incredibly masculine men. "manly" or masculine is a character test, not a physical one. Being 'manly' can include having the strength of your convictions, being a man of your word as in acting it as well as saying it, of being the protector and strength, the direct and focussed to the woman's emotional roundness and flightiness, its being clear and strong enough if your own self and identity not to let anyone or anything impact on your esteem or confidence, its having compassion and empathy but the strength to fight when required, its knowing when to be open and vulnerable and strong enough to allow yourself to do so despite fear, its having the ability to love and kill in the same moment if required. Being a man is about leading your woman with an open hand and making her feel safe enough to follow without question, knowing that she's valued and loved and protected, but also knowing there are clear boundaries in place for game playing and bad behaviour, being a man is knowing you can walk away at any moment and still be happy and that any woman would be lucky to be part of your inner circle. I like what you wrote brisguy, and agree that all of those things describe a manly man, at least in my view. Physical characterisitcs are important to me too though, just as I assume that physical characteristics go some way towards a woman being 'womanly' or 'feminine'. Of course, everyone's view of the physical characteristics that give off the manly or womanly energy are no doubt different - that's subjectivity for you :) So while I agree with your assessment, I'm less quick to dismiss the physical elements. Just my thoughts x
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RHP User
14 years ago
I named my eldest son "Raymond". It means "wise protector". If he lives up to his name, he will be a good man.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Jokerza, I agree with DGT you are a lovely young man and you have a wonderful perspective on life. Mwah xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Brisguy, I can't help but think that your views are quite old fashioned in some ways? The comment below I wonder about. And I quote " Being a man is about leading your woman with an open hand and making her feel safe enough to follow without question, knowing that she's valued and loved and protected, but also knowing there are clear boundaries in place for game playing and bad behaviour,"To me this was probably the old 1950's relationship between a man and a woman. You are not supposed to be a woman's father... but her partner and equals. Aren't you? This comment to says to me that you lead, protect, set boundaries she should follow and you discipline. Makes me a little uncomfortable.xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'neptune_drift' How much of all of this stuff everyone's just identified is unique to a 'manly man', as opposed to a woman? How many of the above traits would you say would or should apply to a good woman? Things like honour, loyalty, conviction, humour, a balance of toughness and softness? Agree but are those qualities of a good person. My question was what are the essential characteristics or the real meaning of what it is to be a man not what makes a good man. So are they really the same?
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RHP User
14 years ago
A man who knows his true purpose and follows it unconditionally is where it all begins. To many guys lose track of what they really want or just never have the balls to go after it in the first place. When a guy know his purpose and is prepared to follow it no matter what the cost, that makes a true man. He has complete faith in himself and see's challenges and adversity as the way forward, getting him closer and closer to his dreams and aspirations. A true man is persistent and never gives up, failure is not an option. I believe personal appearance plays no part whatsoever in being a manly man. It's what you do with your life and the contribution you choose to give to society that dictates the legacy you leave behind...
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RHP User
14 years ago
i just think it's all about being human... i don't see myself as being a man, opposed to not being a woman. I express myself as human... when i'm confronted with a question or a situation, i don't answer or react to it according to my gender.... does that make sense *smiles* So apart from the obvious physical differences, i can't separate these core characteristics and qualities Meeka... sorry, i'm trying to come up with some though.I'm a man for the obvious reason that i have a cock, but i'm also vulnerable, accepting, passionate, emotional, gentle, and willing to look like a fool for something i believe in... which i think are good characteristics and qualities to have for a man..... but also a woman too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Brisguy, I can't help but think that your views are quite old fashioned in some ways? The comment below I wonder about. And I quote " Being a man is about leading your woman with an open hand and making her feel safe enough to follow without question, knowing that she's valued and loved and protected, but also knowing there are clear boundaries in place for game playing and bad behaviour,"To me this was probably the old 1950's relationship between a man and a woman. You are not supposed to be a woman's father... but her partner and equals. Aren't you? This comment to says to me that you lead, protect, set boundaries she should follow and you discipline. Makes me a little uncomfortable.xx Meeka Meeka, the comment isn't about discipline, but more about the game playing and shit testing that seems to go on out there. Its not about being a father figure at all, but more about showing some strength, leading and setting the tone so the woman in question doesn't walk all over you as some are wont to do, or feel as though she has to take the masculine role in the relationship. Just like the man dictating like a father isn't equal (to some depending on their bent), nor is the woman constantly disrespecting and pushing boundaries (such as cheating, actively flirting with other men to cause jealousy or some other passive aggressive act for example instead of engaging in open and honest communication, again depending on the type of relationship it is) and walking all over her man in a manipulative fashion, being equal. Some men are able to set these boundaries and walk away from a woman if she doesn't respect them, while others turn to 'pleasing' behaviour to try and tolerate or keep her on side, thinking she's the only one etc etc. I guess to me part of being a man isn't letting yourself be manipulated or walked all over, or having your values or boundaries disrespected, whether that be by another man, or your significant other, and having the courage to walk away at any time if required knowing you can find someone else who WILL respect you in return for your own respect for them. It's about compromise and respect, not manipulation for the gain of only one party. Then again, some women i've met and spoken to want their man to lead so they don't have to be an equal.. guess it depends on the people involved. I'm only stating my opinion :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think what is percieved as a real man has been one of the fastest evolutions in recent times. Men are less likely to be seen as weak for seeking help with depression, anxiety, illness or when needing emotional support and I think that's a good thing. My natural character is that of a protector I've been told, and I think to me a big part of being a man is protecting the weak or those without confidence and doing the right thing. I think a real man will take 10 minutes out of his life to stop and help someone who needs it, help an old lady get her groceries to the car as much as you'd help a glamour change a tyre, never watch a woman struggle to get a pram up or down stairs but pick it up and carry it for her, don't drive by that dog wandering up the road, it's someones pet so put it in your Maserati, too bad about the leather seats and take it to get its microchip checked to find the owner. A real man will tell his mum he loves her and love unreservedly and be grateful for the love in return. Men that I've admired and wanted to be like the most weren't physically strong "he man" types with shoulders and biceps, nor were they men who had made lots of money, they are men with character, principles and they put their family first, never the pub, drugs or gambling... Always their family first regardless of peer pressure or temptation.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Jokerza, I agree with DGT you are a lovely young man and you have a wonderful perspective on life. Mwah xxx Thanks Meeka.....nice post BTW
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Dirtyroughsex' I think what is percieved as a real man has been one of the fastest evolutions in recent times. Men are less likely to be seen as weak for seeking help with depression, anxiety, illness or when needing emotional support and I think that's a good thing. My natural character is that of a protector I've been told, and I think to me a big part of being a man is protecting the weak or those without confidence and doing the right thing. I think a real man will take 10 minutes out of his life to stop and help someone who needs it, help an old lady get her groceries to the car as much as you'd help a glamour change a tyre, never watch a woman struggle to get a pram up or down stairs but pick it up and carry it for her, don't drive by that dog wandering up the road, it's someones pet so put it in your Maserati, too bad about the leather seats and take it to get its microchip checked to find the owner. A real man will tell his mum he loves her and love unreservedly and be grateful for the love in return. Men that I've admired and wanted to be like the most weren't physically strong "he man" types with shoulders and biceps, nor were they men who had made lots of money, they are men with character, principles and they put their family first, never the pub, drugs or gambling... Always their family first regardless of peer pressure or temptation. So well said. SFxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Has anyone read "the way of the superior man" by David Deida? This book is about this very topic and has some interesting concepts...
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RHP User
14 years ago
a 'manly' man, would've been everyone's opinion of Ian Roberts, before he 'came out'... he played 9 state of origins and 13 tests for Australia, before coming out as gay, and i believe it was this point that showed just how 'manly' he really was...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Rigboy' Has anyone read "the way of the superior man" by David Deida? This book is about this very topic and has some interesting concepts...My number one all time favourite book :) Also an awesome read for women.
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RHP User
14 years ago
My Dad bought me this book and it is a great read, and yes a good read for women too Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic' Quoting 'Rigboy' Has anyone read "the way of the superior man" by David Deida? This book is about this very topic and has some interesting concepts...My number one all time favourite book :) Also an awesome read for women.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Mike, I started this thread because I was interested in what people felt were the core characteristics of being a man. Obviously this is different for everyone. There were a few comments in my original manly men thread that suggested that men who you enjoy being with other men have to be effeminate or are someone less manly .... but interestingly enough not one person has commented on a man's sexuality or the fact that they are "supposed" to be with women as a core or essential element of being a man. xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
I love men's strength, their ingrained need to protect and provide for their loved ones. I also love men's vulnerabilities ... when they are sad, lonely, depressed, etc. Or as I mentioned in my original post the little boy inside the man. I don't see this as being weak at all. Oh and I adore the naughty little boy that's in there too, the one that is silly and fun and naughty. I feel sad for men that don't give these parts of themselves the light of day because they think that being an adult or a man means that they have to be hard or that this is what is expected of them. xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Mike, I started this thread because I was interested in what people felt were the core characteristics of being a man. Obviously this is different for everyone. There were a few comments in my original manly men thread that suggested that men who you enjoy being with other men have to be effeminate or are someone less manly .... but interestingly enough not one person has commented on a man's sexuality or the fact that they are "supposed" to be with women as a core or essential element of being a man. xxMeekai wasnt making a comment on Ian Roberts sexuality at all, it was a comment about how brave it was, to declare who he was, in spite of it going against what everyone believed of him...i dont care that the guys gay, i care that he was courageous and an individual..................
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Mike, I started this thread because I was interested in what people felt were the core characteristics of being a man. Obviously this is different for everyone. There were a few comments in my original manly men thread that suggested that men who you enjoy being with other men have to be effeminate or are someone less manly .... but interestingly enough not one person has commented on a man's sexuality or the fact that they are "supposed" to be with women as a core or essential element of being a man. xxMeeka A great thread from an interesting perspective and nicely capped 2.The thread, by my reading has brought out all of the amazingly different aspects of masculinity in all its glory!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Absolutely nothing these days.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Do the right thing from a legal stand point, do what is right for others and yourself morally, stand by your principles. To be understanding of people's views and negotiate mediation or middle grounds on situations. Respect for yourself and others.Most importantly you should forgive, love and care for everyone. No matter how many times they jerk you around or lie to you.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry for going against the trend, and really the actual question, but I think a man is just as much about what he is not as what he is : He doesn't need to put others down to make himself big; He isn't afraid of differences coz he is secure in his own; He doesn't need to be the breadwinner if the alternative is better for his family; and he doesn't hold in or hide his emotions so that the people he loves knows that he does.But he is able to do what is needed. Kisses ClaireIdare
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RHP User
14 years ago
Being a man to me isnt in the gym its being able to make tough calls being able to have a go and dig deep work hard and play harder and look like a man a little rough greese on the hands dirt on the knees ect i dont think being a man is metrosexual also being a man is being the bread winner of his house hold and looking after his family
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RHP User
14 years ago
Some really insightful discussion. I really have nothing to add - now THAT's rare. Top work, everyone!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Re: Manly men.I for one see being Manly as doing what is right,no matter what others think of your actions.It comes down to being a "free thinking man" someone who dose not need others to think on his behalf.Doing what is right.learning from your mistakes ,and fixing what has been broken.There are not to many Manly role models left in this world.I for one see John Wayne as a true role model for a Manly man,he is feminine when he has to be ,is tough when needed,and is a gentleman to all women.He dose what is right and carry's himself with class.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I love men's strength, their ingrained need to protect and provide for their loved ones. I also love men's vulnerabilities ... when they are sad, lonely, depressed, etc. Or as I mentioned in my original post the little boy inside the man. I don't see this as being weak at all. Oh and I adore the naughty little boy that's in there too, the one that is silly and fun and naughty. I feel sad for men that don't give these parts of themselves the light of day because they think that being an adult or a man means that they have to be hard or that this is what is expected of them. xxMeeka But see Meeka, most of what you write here applies to women too, so why should it be thought of as manly? 'Coz of 3,000 years of patriarchal brainwashing, that's why*! Think of how protective a mother is of her family? The playfulness and naughtiness of an otherwise responsible woman? Look at all of the suggestions about what's manly: doing what's right, not having to impress others, make tough calls. Gentle, tough, respectful. Why are these specifically 'manly' traits and not 'womanly' traits also? I'd contend the vast majority of women would aspire to these qualities. Does this make the majority of women 'manly' too? Those that achieve this ideal certainly get criticised as such. That's bullshit and I'm calling it! My contention is what we think of as 'manly' does not inherently belong to males, but there's a whooooooole lotta cultural conditioning going on to make us think this way. Of course there are differences between the sexes, but they're not as great as the ones we've socially constructed. *While very tongue in cheek, it's also very true.
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RHP User
14 years ago
having the wisdom of life experinces to know what is right and wrong and what to not give a fuck about. and then having the courage to stand up for your principles. In a sexual context it is to be strong with good stamina and a body that is harder than a womans and to make sure your female partner get her fair share of pleasure. yes there is thje inner boy , he will nevr go away, but that part is more to do with being free to explore and not be set in your ways eg a open mind. it does not relate to needing at female to hug me and feel sorry for my past events which we all experince and should lead to us being a better man. I could go and go
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RHP User
14 years ago
according to 90% of the dudes comments on this topic, i've learnt that a "manly man" is one who is strong, reliable, careing, protective/protector, provider, masculine but highly intouch with ya feminine blah blah blah blah. fair enough, i'll admit that all these things do strike a chord with me but geezzz lads... blatant HONESTY dont seem to be in here!!!!! Most of you are posting the traits of a man that may seem more appealing to a womans point of view.... I spose i have the luxury of havin a woman who loves me for "ME" so i dont really have to go out of my way to impress anyone with this new age touchy feely BS cause in all honesty....I love cars, women, sport, women, drinking, parties and women!!!! if anyone has seen the advert for "mother" energy drinks with "motherland"... that would be my "dream world"!!!!! doing dumb shyt for no good reason!! ahh one can only dream <3 my advice lads, is to "man up" and be honst with yourself if not, go ahead and try for brownie points... it might just pay off :P peace
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's funny to see that the perception of manly is often confused with macho or bogan or the attributes associated with alcohol, testoserone and mindless acts of bravado. I have always been called many, man's man, staunch and the various other names associated with being "manly" yet I have never been anyone but myself. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs and I don't follow AFL, NRL etc and ...obviousloy...don't bend to pier pressure. I was brought up to believe that a "real man" is his own personality, with his own mind, and always displayed affection to his loved ones regardless of the environment audience or public opinion he told those that he loved that he loved them and this was instilled in me by my Father who was definately...by all opinions a manly man. He demostrates strong character at all times and stands by his word, regardless of the consequences, Being a mans man...a title I am proud of...doesn't mean having tattoos down only one arm or neck...like Robie Williams...being crude and obnoctious to women...like a rap singer or bullying and standing over those less manly that you, but what it does mean is to be the person who comes to the aid of those in need of protection regardless of their race, belief and sexuality and a person who stands up for their beliefs regardless of popularity or ridicule. In essence being yourself in the face of opposition and defeat is being a manly man. Not being a wanker but being strong...being you.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well what can you say , each has his or her own ideas . Mine well try to be honest unless its the only way to feed your family then do what is needed . stand by your principles . work hard contribute to society don't be a bludger . when your woman needs a shoulder give it to her . protect those that need you but help them learn to stand on there own . But let the boy inside come out to play , be it sport or just having fun . Also let the bad boy out sometimes I think we as a culture are asking to much from men to be fashion conscience and caring new age ( what the hell colour is puce ) . boys go play footy or race cars or bikes . then go home and look at your friend ,partner , wife and offer to help if she needs you .
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RHP User
14 years ago
There's not too much I can add that everyone hasn't already said. And yes I took the time to read through the 3 pages thus far. So bravo to you all. I have a couple of things to add and that is about a man and his sexuality = to his stature as a man. I am everything that has been mentioned by everyone previously however I'm not someone to be boxed in anyway either. I consider myself open to all sexual pleasures. I do like to have oral sex with a guy. In being on here I have found that being open about the pleasure available to us all has in no way diminished my stature as a manly man. I am not active or endeavoring to take my desire to an intercourse level, however each to his own and I do not believe in anyway that people who choose this pleasure in their lives is not a measure of the man or any lesser of a man. Judgement should not fall on to those that are "different" as being a softy or "poof" for the lack of a better word. A manly man is a man of his convictions and not his stature in the realm of the blokey" world. The "Alpha Male" type. A homophobic male is lesser a man than most as he is limiting his own ability to grow and be accepting of others and the choices they make.To me a manly man is about being a good huMAN. Someone that is a little piece of every positive that everyone before me has mentioned.Keep up the good work guys. Very interesting reading.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I catch & kill my own, I stand up to piss & I can fix up most things too. (usually after breaking them)
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RHP User
14 years ago
... because I have my own view on this.My interpretation of 'being a man' starts with having the balls to stand true to your convictions whether they be right or wrong. Someone who will not bow down to peer or public pressure to conform one way or the other. Someone with a true sense of themselves and the will to follow their heart.Now this applies to both those who people see as a 'Good' man and someone who may be a low down dirty son of a bitch with no morales.However Meeka, you diidn't specify.The difference between the two being that the 'Good' man will have integrity, morales, honesty, generally a fine upstanding human being.The other is not.But I still consider each of those men to be true men, it's just that one of them is an asshole and the other is not.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Im flying in to Sydney on Sunday and out same day ,just have few hours, wanna catch up for some fun....... mail me ill send a pic xxcodyxx69 at hodmoil . cum just fix the spelling
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Brisguy, I can't help but think that your views are quite old fashioned in some ways? The comment below I wonder about. And I quote " Being a man is about leading your woman with an open hand and making her feel safe enough to follow without question, knowing that she's valued and loved and protected, but also knowing there are clear boundaries in place for game playing and bad behaviour,"To me this was probably the old 1950's relationship between a man and a woman. You are not supposed to be a woman's father... but her partner and equals. Aren't you? This comment to says to me that you lead, protect, set boundaries she should follow and you discipline. Makes me a little uncomfortable.xx Meeka Hmmm it made me a little uncomfortable too Meeka... in a squirming in my seat way...
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RHP User
14 years ago
(I originally thought this was about guys and Manly Beach... so blonde )Manly to me is a melting pot of physical and personality characteristics. There are no concrete rules, rather an overall 'feel'. One of the major things for me is integrity. When a male blames society, others, the dog etc for his own errors, I couldn't view him in a less 'manly' manner. Someone who owns their actions/opinions and has put thought in to them (and one that expects the same from me). Someone I can *rely* on to carry me on the rare moments I cant do it on my own. The physical aspect is more stereotyped yet not a hard rule either. Taller than me, bigger than me, darker than me... does it for me. Oddly enough my LTRs haven't been with these type of men. (Actually, the character traits I mentioned are ones I admire in both men and women come to think about it...)
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RHP User
14 years ago
LMFAO @ newkee.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' LMFAO @ newkee. I blame Fifty Shades of Grey... oh wait, I hate the blaming trait in others, how hypocritical of me... so I blame MY hormones!
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RHP User
14 years ago
it's your attitude that is affecting your ability to meet people from here? (as you stated the other day)Such a defeatist remark. I hope something in your life helps to change your perspective :)Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' Absolutely nothing these days. Cass xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
When and where did I state that I was having trouble meeting people exactly?? I have made one comment, regarding this topic, which as quoted was the comment made. A little confused here
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RHP User
14 years ago
If you wish to dissect my performance/ability to meet people, then let's indulge shall we? 1. I smoke. That's my choice, as it is potential partners' choice to accept that. 2. I drive interstate transport. This leaves a window of 24 hours to wash the truck, my clothes, ensure adequate rest is achieved to prepare for the impending start of the week(which is usually Sundays), go flying, study for advancement in aviation, sleep and have a social life. These are two dominant factors that hinder progression of ones ability to "meet people from here." I have no problem with this posing a challenge. And I would kindly suggest a reassessment of your diagnosis of a problem, that you have absolutely no idea about.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Being a manly man is a combination of alot of things.1) Being strong in physical strength and also in character....this could mean you are a big muscle dude and have strong opinions about what you are passionate about...it could also mean you are a lean mean type of dude not so big and muslcy but still people don't want to fuck with you because you carry yourself like a boss and when shit happens you can deal with it swiftly.2) Being a "bread winner" in my opinion is losing its weight slowly but surely because ladies are making thier own money these days and they can manage it ten times better than men can....i speak from personal experience because i am retarded with money....the only thing i know how to do is spend it :) But thats quite manly too....spending the money you make on the women you love or lust for....and i do not believe in one woman for every man....very old silly idea...3) Manly men are hairy....and i am a manly man :) but at the same time just because i am hairy doesn't mean i am gross....if it were the 70s and you took a picture of me naked....i would be considered as yummy....just because of the hairy chest and balls and whatever lololol....now days women are after these manicured pretty boy types and that is so unfair! :( move the fuck over Orlando Bloom and give me Viggo Mortensen any day (yes i do have a man crush)4) Being honest with yourself and with others is a very manly and noble character trait....too many men like to lie and cheat and bang as much as possib;le....this is great fine and dandy. But a manly man would let people know ":hang on baby before we do this i am a male whore and i am not only fucking you....if you can handle that well and good if not...cya later"Anyone agree?
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RHP User
14 years ago
So goddamit now I have to find it. (note to self- to mind my own business) :( What I should have said is it was a way negative comment with nothing to back it up and not speculated on the effects of that sort of attitude on your success rate.Cass xxx Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' When and where did I state that I was having trouble meeting people exactly?? I have made one comment, regarding this topic, which as quoted was the comment made. A little confused here
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RHP User
14 years ago
A Man is someone with heart, spine, impeccable character and capable of handling whatever life throws at him. A Man is someone who is a pillar of strength when his woman throws a rainbow of emotion into his otherwise black and white world.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
to me a man is many things...a man keeps his word..is reliable...a man is not afraid to be honest...a man has a reasonable IQ..can be witty...a man has manners...knows how to treat a woman well...but he is not a pushover either...a man is calm and assertive, when the situation calls...but is also able to be passionate..and is comfortable with having feelings...and a man doesnt try to own or control you...yes, i am 38 and still believe in fairy tales...(but then again, i do have my prince, who treats me like his princess....so why wouldnt i?)
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm a little confused as to the relevance of my ability to meet new people has to do with the op's post? And the fact that it was a comment pertaining to a different topic. Are you inferring that because of my attitude, that I'm no shining example of 'manliness', therefore I have no validity in commenting??
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RHP User
14 years ago
By the look of you... plenty of testosterone.All I was getting at is that it is an unsubstantiated negative comment that you made (and I should have left it at that lol) I remembered you stating elsewhere that you find it hard meeting anyone- you didn't go into why. So I just married the 2 together because women often read opinions and attitudes when screening someone. I didn't consider any other reason that you may have difficulties meeting.... as you didn't provide a how come or why with that comment either. *Feeling somewhat tactless right now. Cass xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
In the big scheme of things, in my opinion, being 'manly' does mean nothing. Over the past 10 years we've seen major shifts toward individuality, rather than the traditional 'old school.' We've gone from Tom Cruise to Justin Bieber, rugged to exfoliated, so it means nothing really when individuality will always reign supreme. Is this better multiples??
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RHP User
14 years ago
Most blokes describe themselves and proffer that as the definitive escription of a manly man while the women describe what attributes they seek in a male and rarely find. Both very narrow views really.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hmmmm, am manly man.... To me, a manly man is somebody comfortable in their own skin, not afraid to ask for what they really want and strong enough to handle a Womyn who is both of the aforementioned...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Is that what they call them in NZ... Cheers Felonius....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Chivalry,integrity,conviction,humanity are a few of the essential qualities i need too practice everyday in order too feel i am a man in every day life. However when it comes too being a man for my woman, every girl has different needs but generally speaking i think it's important too learn what makes her feel feminine and too compliment her femininity , the more i make her feel like a woman the more she will make me feel like a man and so the cycle goes, in theory it's a win win situation. I don't believe in burdening other people with my own troubles,least of all someone i love, however when life gets too much, i'm so still not beyond burring my head in her boobs while she holds me tight, strokes my hair and tell me everything will be ok,whatever it is. That recharges my batteries and gives me strength too take on the world.So many "great men" in this world owe so much of their success too the "great women" who stood behind them and supported them through thick and thin.
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RHP User
14 years ago
If a guy helps too bring a child into this world, regardless of his relationship with the child's mother, if he chooses too abandon the child, then it doesn't matter what else he does with his life,how big his arms are,how big his balls are or how hairy his chest is, he will never be a man in my book.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'multiples_xxx' So goddamit now I have to find it. (note to self- to mind my own business) :( What I should have said is it was a way negative comment with nothing to back it up and not speculated on the effects of that sort of attitude on your success rate.Cass xxx Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' When and where did I state that I was having trouble meeting people exactly?? I have made one comment, regarding this topic, which as quoted was the comment made. A little confused here doesn't seem to matter if I have a photo or not.....I don't seem to be able to 'meet' anyone regardless of contextual intention....maybe it's just me?posted on - so it's just me then - may 31Sorry to both concerned, and obviously this has spread over two threads/Op's/Posts and nothing to do with meI too should keep my nose out of it allbut hardtruckin2011 some times a post on one thread can bring up a reply on another - I am sure Cass did not mean anything to put you down but just in reply to what you saidI think initially she was looking to be helpfulif you read any thing she says or has said - there are very few if any that directly dig or put a person downwhen posting on here and making your views known you also need to know and take it back when others comment on your comments and or pass advice whether or not you ask for itagain nothing intended at any one of you and sorry if you have taken offence by it -if so and you reply in anger or resentment to what I have said it is fully understandable
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry mate we've sorted through the misinterpretation on my behalf in private. However, I do take issue with comments(which Cass has re-iterated in private not being her intention) directed at my personal track record of success with meeting women, when the ops question was not asking for discussions of such, hence the confusion. But as stated we've had our discussions in private and the point she has tried to make, has been noted and taken on board.
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RHP User
14 years ago
A Real aussie manto me, not afraid to get there hands dirty and put there best foot forward, Stand up for what they believe in, Fight and protect for those they love, Be there for there mate's and loved one when needed, Provide for there family's. Love the out doors and a good BBQ, Simply ( uncomplicated ) have body hair and calla-sis on there fingers from the hard work!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'neptune_drift' IF..... Um, I got so much more out of that than I did when I first read it at sixteen. Thick face black heart, the empty boat, the road less traveled all rolled into a couple stanzas. That is not a manly man, that is a strong, balanced individual.conquering others requires force, conquering oneself requires strength.Lao Tzufrom the tao te ching.I am not a manly man. I am courteous, compassionate, I don't like to fight, or be unnecessarily cruel. I'm not a chauvinist, I'm a socialist, I actually read books, I don't feel the need to look tough or staunch, I hate moustaches, I like to eat puss, and I prefer the company of women over men.Well I guess that tells you what I think about manly fuckin men. Come at me bro.RA
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RHP User
14 years ago
Just looked all that up.Urban dictionary says I am a pretentious punce...wtfRA
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' Sorry mate we've sorted through the misinterpretation on my behalf in private. However, I do take issue with comments(which Cass has re-iterated in private not being her intention) directed at my personal track record of success with meeting women, when the ops question was not asking for discussions of such, hence the confusion. But as stated we've had our discussions in private and the point she has tried to make, has been noted and taken on board. you sure seem a descent sort to me (not being funny in the slightest here) clearing a comment made by another in the way you have to me in an open forum is thoughtful and shows you have a nice etiquette wasn't needed but dammed fine of you to do so and respected I also apologise if I had the wrong end of the stick thx H
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RHP User
14 years ago
All good, it's human nature to make mistakes, and I don't like not having a clear and concise understanding of the big picture. Cass is a lovely lady, and I admire and respect her for being so patient in my state of misunderstanding.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Means a man with a hairy chest...who drives a V8
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RHP User
14 years ago
Tall Strong hands with a bit hair on his fingers Can fix anything Hangs naked female models in his shed/ playboy fan Loves pussy Speaks his mind Can cry, especially when his sons where born Tells his boys how to shave and put a condom on Hugs his sons In work clothes Dirty after a hard days work Yaa, can cook a barbie with a beer in his hands Dirty jokes Looks good in a suit Smells great after a shave with aftershave, ohh so manly.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Random,that sounds very manly to mex Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've seen "strong manly men" cower and wither when the bullets fly, I've seen the nerd that they bullied pull them from the shit and not mention the wet patch. Real men know who they are, they don't boast or brag, they do cry and most of the time they walk away, they have the moral fibre to do what's right. Manliness is a character trait you can't see in a picture. I'm not saying some pin ups aren't men but you need to read the book to find out.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'swinging4fun' I've seen "strong manly men" cower and wither when the bullets fly, I've seen the nerd that they bullied pull them from the shit and not mention the wet patch. Real men know who they are, they don't boast or brag, they do cry and most of the time they walk away, they have the moral fibre to do what's right. Manliness is a character trait you can't see in a picture. I'm not saying some pin ups aren't men but you need to read the book to find out.A wise protector. It's succinct and doesn't exclude any one based on their build.
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RHP User
14 years ago
A good definition but needs context. It doesn't distinguise sex for example. Nor does it dispell any preconceived belief of the well built, athletic macho man that one may have. So the image conjoured up of the "Wise protector" remains the same. But I like it I guess the reality is not what is true but what the ladies want to be true. Manly men come in all shapes and sizes but the man in the macho box is the one (manly or not).
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RHP User
14 years ago
but I didn't want to repeat the whole thing.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I got you now jensman, a bit slow but I got there
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RHP User
13 years ago
A manly man is thoughtful, patient, courteous and highly protective. It makes no difference what colour he is, where he was born, what god he believes in, if any, or how much money he has. It doesn't matter whether he is bisexual, straight or gay. What a manly man is not is arrogant, hypocritical or egotistical. He doesn't play at being an innocent victim. He takes responsibilty for his own mistakes and learns from them. He doesn't sing his own praise and insist that every other person should try to emulate him. He doesn't close his eyes to the truth so that he can make up his own "truth".
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RHP User
13 years ago
Loved your comments . A lot of men could learn from u!
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RHP User
13 years ago
hey how can you tell if he is a real an,,,,,,,,,,its what you believe a real man is not what someone else doesmy idea of a real man will differ from someone elsethere is no format that you can follow its just what you think a mans man should be,,,,,,,as long as you can look your self in the mirror and not cringe and be happy with the man you are than who cares
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RHP User
13 years ago
Integrity, honesty and looking out for yourself and others who can't look out for themselves.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Integrity, honesty and looking out for yourself and others who can't look out for themselves.
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RHP User
13 years ago
'manly' men arent bullies... they dont need to be. and they dont deliberately bait those they disagree with, in order to justify their own poor behaviour and provide an excuse to continue an attack that is childish in its intent, and disrespectful in its execution. 'manly' men dont ridicule others misfortunes, or make light of their struggles, or indeed, namecall, harass and vilify others in their own manufactured indignation.... 'manly' men dont question things like 'honesty', 'truthfulness' and 'respect', and 'manly' men respect the boundaries of behaviour that exist in their own and others relationships. 'manly' men dont lie, and 'manly' men dont betray their partners trust with others.
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