It was in the Caribbean on a rum cruise day trip on the good ship Jolly Rodger. Aptly named as it turned out. There were about a hundred people on the cruise. I was with a few friends including a cute Canadian woman I'd met a few days before. We all got a bit hammered on the rum punch and were having a bloody great time. All great fun in the sun.
After lunch, our pirate ship caption gathered everyone around. Suddenly the crew hauled my Canadian friend and I forward. Apparently we'd been dobbed in by our "mates". The captain, (complete with parrot and eye patch) declared we were to be married then and there. And so, resplendent in our swimming cosies, we were thus bound in holy matrimony (which the caption assured us was only valid for 24 hours). Great fun. Especially the wedding kiss to the cheers of all around us.
We were then sent below to the "wedding suite" and told "anything less than an hour is a Bajun Quickie".
I thought they were kidding because there was nothing below other than a gift shop and the galley. My new wife insisted on checking it out however. And lucky she did. The gift shop directed us to the galley. The guy in the galley pointed his meat cleaver and directed us through a small manhole half way up the wall that led into the aft superstructure of the ship. Someone had laid a piece of plywood and a gym mat down over the beam, and that was it. We both thought "what the hell" and in we climbed.
Well, I have to tell you, every bedroom needs giant beams 3 to 4 feet above the bed. We went at it like rabbits. The reggae music blaring above helped us keep the rhythm going to the sway of the ocean. There were all sorts of amazing hot and sweaty positions. Me taking her. Her riding me. Her bent over a beam. One leg up on a beam. Both legs up on a beam. Did I mention the beams?? I discovered she loved having her breasts and arse bitten. We hoped the screams were muffled by the wood and drowned out by the music but were weren't entirely sure. We lost all track of time. We only paused for a moment when suddenly a trap door beside us opened and a guy jumped down to get more ice out of the freezer near us. She just sat astride me, naked, a little stunned, until he left. By then she'd caught her breath again and so she rode me even harder (he later apologized. They'd forgotten we were still down there).
We well and truly explored every part of each other. I think the surreal nature of it all, not to mention the rum, meant all inhibitions that slow a new couples first time were gone. We only stopped when we heard the boat docking.
It took us a while to find our swimmers and we emerged just as the gangway was put in place. Not many people said much to my new "wife" but it seemed like every guy on the boat wanted to shake my hand.
If recon if all marriages were like that, there'd be a lot more people tying the knot.