The Rules (or let’s call them observations, since apparently, I’m now RHP’s unofficial agony aunt)

Alright, my sexy RHP adventurers, it’s time for Part 2 of the guide you didn’t know you needed. Fuck, I don’t care if you heed them or not. These are just based on all the glorious comments and messages I’ve been graced with since my first post. Let me remind you—I’m not Dr. Love or Dr. Sex. I can’t guarantee this will revolutionise your RHP experience. Like the rest of you, I’m just here for horny fun—not to fuck spiders.

Profile Pics:

Gents, your profile picture matters. It can be a game changer—or a game ender. A little tease? Fantastic. A pic of you in Bali with a tiger? Absolutely fucking not. And if I hear one more "I don’t know how to take a good photo," I might scream. Your phone has a timer, so use it. Grey track pants? Yes, please—the ladies love it. Tradies undies or even a tool belt? Now you’re standing out. But the 1,000 naked chest pics? Yawn. Give us something worth a click, or prepare to stay unread. You’ve been warned.

Bios That Suck (and not in a good way):

I get it—mystery is sexy. But vanilla blank profiles are just lazy. Ladies, if you like big cock, say so. Into threesomes? Put it in. A bio that screams you is far better than one that screams, "I love country music" (seriously, save that for Tinder). The RHP templates? Burn them. And ladies, don’t complain when guys ask awkward questions if your bio gives them nothing to work with. Help us all out—write something cheeky, flirty, or just fucking honest. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare; it just has to be you. Ever heard of ChatGPT?

Messages:

Ladies, you’re not off the hook here either. If you can’t manage more than “Hi,” then don’t expect fireworks in return. And to the guys, no, a response to your first message isn’t an invitation to unload your entire dick pic gallery. I don’t care how much you love your cock or think it's impressive—if they haven't asked for it don't send it. Thoughtfulness will always be hotter than unsolicited photography. Trust me on this.

This is a SEX site, not a brothel.

If you’re sliding into someone’s inbox with “How much?”—log out immediately. Seriously, just leave. RHP isn’t the place for that kind of interaction, and if you don’t understand the vibe, you’re in the wrong room.

Cam and Chat Etiquette:

Let’s address the obvious: the main chat is called "hot chat" for a reason. People are going to talk about sex—a lot. If that’s not your vibe, maybe it’s time to find another room. Here’s the thing—everyone’s got different kinks, desires, and styles. No need for "yuck" or "ewww." Live and let live, because trust me, no one asked for your judgment.

And let’s talk about those "Anyone in here from XYZ?" comments. Has that ever worked? No. Never. Call me out if I'm wrong.

Lastly, to the cam "directors" out there—you know who you are. Pull your head in. No one likes unsolicited direction, and telling someone to "lick her ass" or "spread her legs" isn’t going to make anyone rush to obey. Let the cammers do their thing. It’s not your show, Spielberg. Sit back, enjoy, and keep your hands (and opinions) to yourself.

Hung? Sure You Are.

Ah, the word “hung.” A classic. But let’s be real—if you’re under 8 inches, don’t bother slapping that word in your bio. It’s not a badge of honour unless you can back it up. Honesty goes further than delusion, fellas.

Face Pics: Don’t Be That Guy (or girl)

If someone’s profile says they won’t reply without face pics, that’s their prerogative. Respect it. Don’t be that guy (or girl) who bombards their inbox whining about "why don’t you reply?" It’s giving tantrum. Boundaries exist for a reason,Boundaries exist for a reason, and throwing a tantrum won’t get you laid—it’ll just leave you jerking off alone. Move along.

Socially Awkward? Cool, But Try Harder

We’re all grown adults here, right? So why do half the messages in women’s inboxes sound like they’re written by horny teenagers? “Wanna fuck?” or “I’d love to cum on your tits” isn’t exactly the opener that’s going to get you anywhere. This is a sex site, not a free pass to skip basic manners. It’s not lazy—it’s downright entitled. You’re not owed a response just because you sent a message. Put in some actual effort or expect your masterpiece to be left unread faster than a dick pic at Sunday brunch.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Be a Dick

This is a sex site, not a free-for-all at happy hour. Respect boundaries, play nice, and for the love of orgasms, don’t let your first message be your last. Keep it sexy, keep it respectful, and for fuck’s sake, make your presence worth a reply. RHP should be fun, not a cringe-fest—don’t ruin it for everyone else.