Celebrating Sir’s 50th

(CW: NSFW activities discussed)

On the weekend we celebrated Sirs 50th with a CNC session and a cuckquean session.

Now, CNC can mean a lot of things for a lot of people, and for the purposes of our weekend activities, we are specifically dealing with a scene where I didn't know before hand what might be done to me. For us, this type of scene, was new, because when it comes to CNC activities we don't engage in them lightly! But we have reached a point in our dynamic where there is a lot of trust, a lot of understanding, and this type of scene was something that we have discussed multiple times, whether in discussions about fantasies, or just dirty talk etc.

The CNC Scene

So to help set the mystery of what might happen and to also heighten my senses and my experience, I was required to lay naked on the bed, wrists bound, headphones on with music loud enough to drown out other noises, blinded folded and butt plugged. This was for the whole day by the way. I was not allowed to leave the bed, if I needed the bathroom there was a bell, near my hands, I could use to communicate that I needed the bathroom, and I would be walked blindfolded and deaf to the bathroom to relive myself before being taken back to the bed. Water and food, Sir would provide and feed to me when he decided.

I was ignorant of the time going by, 30sec, 5 minutes 3 hours, who knew. The was the point though I wouldn't know when Sir would enter the room or be able to know what he was going to do until he did it. The draw of toys was left open, so Sir had access to everything, so it wasn't like I left out items for him to use.

So I waited there in an ongoing sense of anticipation. Sometimes it was nothing more than the feel of feathers or his breath over my skin. Other times, his hands manipulated me into positions to accept his cock. But always different. Sometimes there was the unexpected pain of a hand slapping my arse, other times I was left needy after being edged so close to orgasm. It was intense, terrifying and sensual all rolled into one experience. In between Sirs visits, the waiting become almost unbearable, it felt like hours, especially when the visits were only brief interludes that lasted seconds.

Eventually by the late afternoon the scene had ran it's course and Sir removed my wrist restraints, my blindfold and headphones and we moved from the scene to aftercare. Cuddling, shower, our normal aftercare routine.

But that wasn't all that had been planned for the weekend.

The Cuckquean Session

Sir also had been organising a cuckquean session, so I needed to set up the room for that, ambiance, the chair etc. I think Sir was a little more anxious about this scene then I was, and for good reason. Sir has been in swinger/open relationships, polyamorous a lot longer than I have been, and this is the first time we had done something like this in our dynamic, so I could understand the nervousness, especially with the unknown being me and my reactions.

I was the cuck in this situation and this scene was about a few things:

forced voyerism

o-denial

touch denial

servicing

My job was to sit and watch and then service when I was told to. I could not touch myself, him, her without formally requesting permission or unless specifically asked to by Sir. Sitting there watching, was enjoyable, but I got soooo needy! I did ask to touch myself and was denied a few times. Sir commanded me at certain times to perform sexual activities on him and her and then to sit back down. It was a whole different experience. I was eventually allowed to touch myself and then had to ask permission to cum.

After, I went into services submission mode, inviting our guest to the shower, providing her with a towel, folding her clothes neatly for her etc. Making her feel comfortable offering refreshments etc - all part of the session.

I have been working on unravelling a lot of toxic monogamy thanks to 12 years in a monogamous vanilla marriage, and being more open, polyamorous in our dynamic is something we have been working towards. So this session was a step closer developing that more open dynamic more. I will be honest, there was this initial overwhelming emotion when they both came into the room, which I couldn't pinpoint if I was genuinely upset, jealous, or what it was but disappeared quickly that I almost didn't even register it, then I was just in the moment, watching getting turned on, and getting needy etc.

My Takeaways

If I was to discuss takeaways from these sessions it would be abut open, honest and transparent communication. Building a relationship or dynamic, where you are able to openly and without judgement discuss things with each other. I think, if Sir didn't know I was working on myself in regards to all that baggage from my previous marriage and hadn't started a conversation about looking for a girlfriend in the near future, the cuckquean session probably wouldn't have been organised, because there would be too greater risk of there being negative impact on the dynamic.

Similarly, with anything to do with CNC, we are slowly adding elements to our dynamic. Its the safest option and allows the dynamic to grow and morph and change as the relationship changes and as you both grow as individuals. It allows for that constant vetting process that should be occurring and ongoing communication around boundaries and limits. For example, over the almost 3 years we have played out various scenes, both sexual, physically and psychological and through those experiences Sir has gotten a better understanding of my body language, my tone of voice, boundaries etc which in turn has created that trust between us, that I know that he wouldn't do anything to me that would cause me harm.

And all of that is important.