F38
what to do after a break up
March 08 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sulk. I actually love to sulk. My therapist tells me that this is a passive angry state. Poor poor me.. I am a victim... stewing in my own sorry tears. The way to avoid sulking for too long is to recognise that you are doing it. Naturally, the root cause is that you are angry. Go and hit something.... preferably in your case, something that will turn you onto your back, spank your naughty bottom and make you moan orgasmically while you weep tears of remorse for your forgettable ex-lover. Of course, my therapist also tells me I should try not to think about sex so much... that's not working out so well for me.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
After sulking I like to move into the negative emotions... Anger followed by Revenge After that I sulk a bit more usually involving large amounts of alcohol THEN I decide what I want to do and move forward. Sometimes that's nothing and I give myself space, sometimes thats lots of great sex and sometimes that's starting all over again looking for "the one". Good luck, x Saturn
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RHP User
14 years ago
I usually write the most selfindulgent, irrational, offensive, bias, politically uncorrect, selfish, whinning letter I can. Directed at whatever it happens to be; I keep writting till I feel like I've gotten it all out and then I burn it ceremonially. It's suprising cathartic. And then I get back to doing all the things I had to put aside for the relationship that I really loved to do.
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RHP User
14 years ago
and repeat this mantra over and over again: ""Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else.....because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate..."" Plan drunken acts of revenge and rope your girlfriends into help..however remember what Confucius said : When you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves...so think it, dont act on it... but basically, yep grieve, weep, rage, eat lots of icecream, find new hobbies and but more inportantly remember this One day someone will walk into your life and they will make you realise why it never worked out with anyone else !!! Good luck hon
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RHP User
14 years ago
...I'd suggest jumping on a plane and flying to Melbourne to have a total blow-out weekend of wild sex with an older man. | Quoting 'littlered' ....do you sulk for a bit or go out for a crazy night on the town? | Sulking is just a waste of time....go for the big one, older guys are good listeners if you need to vent and usually very creative and experienced lovers can make you forget almost anything. | Besides, it would be therapeutic...at least if it happen to be me you were visiting and you may even benefit too. | Don't waste energy on negative emotions..."revenge sex" is great.
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RHP User
14 years ago
i spent 13 yrs with my wife who ran off with another guy and now has 3 kids and lives a happy life... good on her too! that was 8 yrs ago. it wasn't long after the initial break up and a lot of self reflection that i realised it is what it is, it's happened.... besides it was his choice he left you hey!,...... you have no control over someone else's intentions..... only your own any anger, blame, revenge or other negative emotions you have, don't run with them cause it wont benefit your piece of mind and nothing positive will come from it... cry, sulk, drink till your liver explodes.... write down your thoughts. piss ya pants and laugh at yourself if you have too.... then go give some lucky guy the time of his life to shake it off.... hmmm, that's better
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have to post that I have absolutely no idea- for a change ;) Never broken up.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I tell my kids to approach every relationship as a learning experience with no expectations of permanancy. If it does work out, that's a bonus, if not, take what you can learn from it and aply it to the next. Not all matches are meant to work. Each of us is an individual, with different dreams, ambitions etc. and these don't always match up. Attraction is not enough. Desire is not enough. If only one of a couple is dissatisfied, a relatinship is doomed to failure. It is not a fault in yourself. It is not a fault in your former partner. It simply was not meant to be. A cliche perhaps and not very comforting but true none the less. Don't let this make you feel worthless, as many people do. You are worthwhile. Remember, a happy life is the best revenge. Take the time you need to deal with your sorrow, then move on.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Works for me :D also, angry angry sex helps.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Love it and also plan lots of nasty things to do to him but dont do them. Be very naughty and as silk said Tequila it always makes me happy.
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RHP User
14 years ago
With your girlfriends...flirting outrageously with any buff, young, studly male that you come across...you don't have to take any of them home..not sure trying to fuck someone out of your system works too well...but maybe it might for you...
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RHP User
14 years ago
My Last break up ended acrimoniously. I loved her to bits but she kept saying she felt emotionaly overloaded and needed ever larger amounts of time alone. I just could not get my head around it so called it off.She did not take this well. With in micro seconds she was on the phone to joint friends saying all sorts of stuff. Though she was alway cool and polite to me on the few occasions we were in contact. Then about 5 weeks later she exploded on the phone at me. Bloody awful, I hated hearing her angry and hurt.No Peace. What I've generally experienced in the past was a cooling off time. Mybe a few weeks. Then a sit down and chat, where you realise it's over and move on, or you find you have something more to talk about. Maybe this chat needed to happen twice. But you both had a sort of peace and moving on, if that's what you had to do, was sad but easier.The anger, lies and acrimony of this last experience has been awful, for me and the friends involved.Look for peace.LRE.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Maybe you should consider Chasing_Midnights offer as a plan B.My tip is to get him to pay for the tix... LOL
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RHP User
14 years ago
find an old hairy caveman and have him visit on his bike regularly - it will get back to you ex.. and maybe bug him.. even if it doesnt bug him.. you can always bonk the old cavey, and have a good time Ahhhh - life is soo easy to understand eh :) good luck girl.. xx caveman....
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avidmale
14 years ago
Been through a... interesting .. one of these... I wouldnt say it was bad, although i may of thought so at the time, as you learn so much about yourself after that its probably a good thing.To my input; break all forms of contact from the ex. Thats phone, messages, emails, blocking from facebook, twitter... whatever form of communication. Its just a reminder of what you had, seeing what he/she is doing... its a reminder that is not going to help you. Try to be social even when you know you really dont want to be. Talking about it helps you get passed it, friends will help you there and if you think a more serious case, a counseler or a helpline (having someone just to talk to that has no idea about the situation..). Even if its for a short time a day.. itll help you get your mind off it. Similarly.. exercise. Doing mindless things, i think it helps.I'll finish with a couple of cliches, time heals everything and (what has already been said), there are plenty of more fish in the sea. Although you may not think it now.. You broke up for a reason, even if you didnt agree with it. You are better off knowing now, than investing any more of your emotions to find out it was for nothing. Find someone that will love you for who you are rather than expecting you to change to be that person.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Or your Inbox. No doubt you will have lots of offers by now!You are clearly too good for him so hopefully somewhere in that overflowing RHP mailbox there will be the perfect pick me up.
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erotictouch4u
14 years ago
I throw myself into work and revisit all the hobbies and outside interests I gave up for the relationship that she didn't like to do. Soon you won't have time to miss them and you'll be out meeting others too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'SLK27' but basically, yep grieve, weep, rage, eat lots of icecreamYes! Eat lots of icecream - in fact enough to put on about three kilos in a few weeks.Then, you can move to the anger stage and blame him for the weight gain.. which leads us to the 'healing' stage. Go have as much fun as possible burning off those three kilo's... if you can do it in half the time it took you to put them on, then I would say you are on the road to recovery.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Talking, flirting with then.Making jokes about males in general.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You desired him, became attached to him and have sorrow(to any degree) at the loss of the attachment. . You have a choice now to Desire someone new and lose the sorrow. . Then have attachment(to any degree) and when and if that ends, you are back to where you are now. . And so it goes on... . You may wait for the sorrow to subside and not go into desiring in order to distract you from the alone-ness you feel. . There you will find tranquility and yourself in the peace and solitude that is you.
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RHP User
14 years ago
...seriously, I enjoy your posts in the forums and this one makes a lot of sense. Okay, so I'll admit to accidentally browsing through you profile a dozen times or so...but that's beside the point. | Quoting 'multiples_xxx'I have to post that I have absolutely no idea- for a change ;) | Sometimes we don't have to "do" anything, our feelings are just that...our feelings, and are never right or wrong as they belong to us. Sometimes it's best just to kick back quietly, enjoy a little down time...and assess what was good or not so good then move on. Boys, we especially like to "fix" things...I tried to fix my mother's alarm clock as a kid and it burst into flame the second I plugged it in, you don't need to go into meltdown and quite often it only takes a few days to happily sort out your feelings. | Multiples_xxx...a wild weekend with an older man can be very therapeutic even if there's nothing wrong or nothing needs to be fixed, at least that's the story I'll stick with for now. | We really are good...listeners.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Go on a nice trip, get massages, spend lots of time at the salon, find a nice spunky man who will spoil you with soft strokes and hot sex ......
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RHP User
14 years ago
the pain away for a while then reassess after you have your confidence back.
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RHP User
14 years ago
...and I left him. It's now 12 years later and the twisted, bitter bastard still makes life difficult for me where ever he can. Don't be like him. Move on and be happy.
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davidex46x
14 years ago
I would never dump such a beautiful girl...what a silly silly boy!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
would it be wrong to have goodbye/one last time sex with said ex?
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smo669
14 years ago
Go for a wild night out, do something completely out of character, take some pics, and let the bugger know what he's missing out on And you'll probably have a wonderful time while you do it, and discover some secret desires that needed satisfying Have fun and enjoy lifes opportunities Cheers
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RHP User
14 years ago
It would not be wrong to have good bye sex. The question is... Why would you? Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jennylee1903' ...and I left him. It's now 12 years later and the twisted, bitter bastard still makes life difficult for me where ever he can. Don't be like him. Move on and be happy.Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' ...seriously, I enjoy your posts in the forums and this one makes a lot of sense. Okay, so I'll admit to accidentally browsing through you profile a dozen times or so...but that's beside the point. | Quoting 'multiples_xxx'I have to post that I have absolutely no idea- for a change ;) | Sometimes we don't have to "do" anything, our feelings are just that...our feelings, and are never right or wrong as they belong to us. Sometimes it's best just to kick back quietly, enjoy a little down time...and assess what was good or not so good then move on. Boys, we especially like to "fix" things...I tried to fix my mother's alarm clock as a kid and it burst into flame the second I plugged it in, you don't need to go into meltdown and quite often it only takes a few days to happily sort out your feelings. | Multiples_xxx...a wild weekend with an older man can be very therapeutic even if there's nothing wrong or nothing needs to be fixed, at least that's the story I'll stick with for now. | We really are good...listeners. Very well put. :) Probably doesn't matter what you do it's time that heals so stay alive :) Nawww thanks I was starting to think my latest obsession might be a bit annoying for the regulars. You are sneaky and hidden on my history ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
...the Magistrate would actually order you do it before he signs the final divorce papers. | Quoting 'littlered'would it be wrong to have goodbye/one last time sex with said ex? | Actually, they have a bench right there in front of the whole court and you have to jump up there and do it. That way, if there are any guys there that like what they see, they hit on you...and if there are any women there that like what they see, they hit on him. It's part of the new "Loneliness Prevention Provision" that was quietly enacted by Julia Gillard. | The Magistrate is always bi...he'll invite you both over for evening tea and thus ensure that neither of you are suffering undue emotional stress. | | Quoting 'multiples_xxx' Nawww thanks I was starting to think my latest obsession might be a bit annoying for the regulars. You are sneaky and hidden on my history ;) | Stealth, ma'am...they taught us well, fly in under the radar on a recon mission and never get caught. Let me look at my "Who You've Viewed" history....uh-oh, maybe I better send that number to you privately. After that thread about repeat profiles views, some of the more perverse characters here might just get the wrong impression. | I am a bit shy you know. | | There is nothing wrong with a healthy OCD...just as long as it's not a fetish.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi Littlered Sorry to hear about the breakup, I am sure it was for the best......In my experience I think you are destroying your future relationships if you do know have a period of mourning and acknowledgement after a breakup. That way you can go through all the phases, angry frustration, sadness, sympathy disgust etc and whatever else floats your boat at the time. Unfortunately most do not do that and find their rebound, which at times becomes something a bit more, and then that ends too leaving you with two fucked up relationships and still the shitty feeling. At least once you go through the mourning phase you can look at the relationship, clean the slate as best you can so when you do meet the next person you will be a bit more educated about your feelings and less likely to screw it up with your past baggage and bitterness.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Take a holiday somewhere,and meet new people,do something diffrent..usually will help.x
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RHP User
14 years ago
hmmm sounds like a plan, ill take pics on my girls night out if they are the right size ill upload, i didnt have sex with the ex but ive heard alot of people do, who knows i might get lucky when im in europe later this year
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RHP User
14 years ago
Collect sweaters that Bill Cosby would wear. Be the envy of all the kids in the neighbourhood!The best time to wear a striped sweater,Is all the time,One with a collar,Turtle neck,Thats the kind,Cause when you wwwweeeaaarrrr it,That's one... special.... sweater.
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RHP User
14 years ago
man do i know were you are coming from. though sometimes i wonder if the difficulties i perceive may be a slight aberration of the truth. but either way, having someone trying to cause you bother is no fun. Quoting 'jennylee1903' ...and I left him. It's now 12 years later and the twisted, bitter bastard still makes life difficult for me where ever he can. Don't be like him. Move on and be happy.
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RHP User
14 years ago
if your break-up was amicable and a joint decision, why not. I've been in this position twice and it was lovely.if one of you is feeling dumped or jilted (and i'm guessing you may be?) NO FUCKEN WAY..that's not going to help your peace or healing in my opinion.
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Playful_days4you
14 years ago
Well after my split, what I ended up doing is going out and got very drunk and after the hangover, i made the resolve to get back on a track to a new start to life and to enjoy it to. It’s been a very turbulent split, as it’s been the type of relationship for a bit over a year “it’s over, then back on, the over etc”. To make a long story short in Jan. We agreed to call it quits for good and this was a mutual agreement, but for some reason because we are friendly and have a mutual understanding and respect that it is over we find that some people think we are still partners. Is it because we still talk to each other and remained friends? We remain on a friendly basis, and we seem get along even better now and there’s barely any or no arguing well except what to do with the house etc. So if you can remain on good terms then I think this is a better option for you and how to get over it, revenge is not a good option because then hate and resentment plus a huge amount of bickering that will in the end just damage both of your reputations from things that have been said out of anger and without any truth to it at all. So go out get drunk with mates and next day make the resolve to get back on track to living and enjoying it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
8 Days Little Red and easier every day I Hope
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