F65
over-reaction or justifiable upset?
July 02 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
*
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RHP User
12 years ago
Be pissed off!! And I'm crossing my finders for your test results. I hope all is fine.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think you did. Justifiable upset yes, but perhaps moreso with yourself in terms of risk to your health. Even if they'd always been as safe as possible and never lied, there's not a 100% guarantee of your safety. Don't take chances, even educated ones, unless you're genuinely willing to accept the risks. I'd be dirty with them for lying, that's a breach of your friendship.
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RHP User
12 years ago
they asked YOU to have un-protected sex, is there a reason you'd assume you'd be the ONLY one? Just sayin' is all....
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RHP User
12 years ago
they gave the "impression"....
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RHP User
12 years ago
....lying cheating & deception of the lowest form.
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platinumblonde69
12 years ago
I chat to a lot of guys and I was amazed at one guy who disclosed to me that he regularly attended a brothel. He was married and for reasons of his own was after "extra" sex. He was on several sex sites and after chatting for a few weeks he disclosed that because he was a regular at this brothel, the same lady used to do him bareback. I was gobsmacked as he couldn't understand the fact that because she was doing him bareback, she was probably doing other regulars bareback too. Needless to say I didn't meet him but it goes to show that lots tend to play Russian Roulette. Good old fashioned honesty seems to be lost somewhere when it comes to sex.Plat PS. It wasn't on RHP and it was many years ago.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not OK! but want to write in really little letters that you should believe no one you can monitor less than 24 hours a day, and that's you. Trust nobody else.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'd be pissed for sure!
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RHP User
12 years ago
You rode Bareback with people who lived a Promiscuous Lifestyle? Should we not own up to our own Responsibilities , in regards to Safe Sex? In Reality , if you want Safe Sex , you need to Share that Responsibility . As much as I can Sympathise with this story , it takes more than one person to make the Decision about Un-Protected Sex ... GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Agrees with MissKayNot at all justifying what they chose to do...... but "I" make the decision to trust nobody but myself.(And even then, I cant do that... where chocolate is concerned!)And Im not sure how anyone could ever 100% accept that people who openly swing, arent shagging others, safely or not, and thus increasing the risks anyway. DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
I would be extremely angry and I would feel lied to and a fool.How a horrible thing to do to someone.MrsSplicey
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RHP User
12 years ago
yep I would be concerned
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. To my thinking, you did not over react. It was justified and I just hope you did not catch anything. The trust you once had is broken and will never be there again, most probably even for every other partner you have after :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
Would be LIVID! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
MissKay and DG, Crackup has none these people for years so she felt she could trust them. It is a shithouse! Unfortunately this has proved that you can't really trust anyone, or you at least have to accept that you are taking a risk when you do forgo condoms. I would be really really angry if I were you Crackup, and I wouldn't go there again either.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I meant to say. It is shithouse!
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RHP User
12 years ago
they are fuked. Sorry BIG week at work actually BIG weeks... You know, tell them you have just had a tst and been informed you have a std. Not form him off course. heheheheh FUK EM! Ohhhh I love dirty play.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yeh - that's really bad.They should have told you - especially if you made it clear it wasn't ok to do that.That's why only do unprotected with people who have earned your trust.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Saying you have a STD if it is not true is never funny.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I, was most angry with myself, over this.. for doing exactly what some have mentioned.. 'trusting' in the first place. Secondly though, I was totally flabbergasted that 'they' had the temerity to show moral outrage at my upset and defended their actions by any number of arguments ..... 'it's an adults game (implying I was behaving in an 'unadult way' by being angry and you shouldn't 'play' if you couldn't accept there were some risks' .. 'everyone does this, etc, etc. My god .. with a mentality like that.. it's put me off trusting anyone ever again.. to think a 'friend' could do that.. how much more so.. just some random (not that I would take that risk in that case i.e. going bareback. Stupid me but moreso SHAME on them.I totally agree Meeka.. just shithouse.
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RHP User
12 years ago
They abused your trust and relationship, full disclosure first allows you to make your decision on open and honest ground, justifiable 100% .... Do like inspirits attitude, turn it around, let them suffer some anguish of fear and unknown by believing you have brought more to the party than just your sexy self. May make them re think their behaviour!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
upset. I'm sure we're all with you on that one. Just goes to show you only know what you know. Sometimes karma takes too long to appear, stitch up on the cards I reckon as payback.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Totally not on, but as mentioned on this site in fact in life one should always be cautious, people will say anything to get what they want, being sex, money, social position etc. Hoping you got lucky this time and tests are clean.It is common for some to show aggression back to throw you off, knowing they are in the wrong, they want to throw the guilt back on you.Hopefully it is all ok and lesson learnt to trust your instincts and then some. Good luck, hope it all comes out ok.
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
I have learnt to only trust only a few ppl.. We all have skeletons in the closet...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Justifiable upset!!! I would be outraged by their behavior. I would want that to be my decision not theirs!!! Gypsy- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'd feel the same as Crackup. It's a shame that you cant trust ppl today, so many are just looking out for themselves. TRUST NO-ONE !
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RHP User
12 years ago
... And lesson learnt no doubt.
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RHP User
12 years ago
These people are not your "friends" I am afraid. I hope your health is fine. Msfun
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RHP User
12 years ago
and I'd go for a STD check up.Should also name and shame... Playing with people lives
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DonnaBrett
12 years ago
You have every right to be ticked off.....but one has to ask, why did you agree to do it? Especially knowing they are in the swinging scene. Also the question has to be asked if he just wanted bareback sex with you...and as they did, trick you into it then why would they bother telling you of their other practices when they could have easily just shut up? Doesn't make any sense? Sounds like they were fishing for some sort of reaction? Friends they are not! Lose 'em!
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RHP User
12 years ago
With friends like those, who needs enemies :( You raised a few points here. For one thing, any sexual activity, be it swinging or regular (is there such a thing?) relationship, there will always be some risk. Using condoms and other forms of protection will help reduce those risks but not eliminate them 100%. However, I and I think a lot of people here prefer some protection rather than none. You are totally justified in feeling betrayed as you implied they told you they used protection with others and later you found out they didn't. Just be more careful. If you are not comfortable, walk away.A few people have responded by saying you should tell them you have some form of STD. I personally would not go to that level as it will come back to bite you. Sure, they might get a bit apprehensive at first but it will become anger and they might cause you trouble. Not worth it. If you got something though, let them know otherwise don't waste your time with them.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Crack Up I wish you the best. And feel sorry. I don,t justify why you finaly trusted. Who can tell ? But it gives me a nice warning not to.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Did you sit down & discuss past sexual partners you all had & if protection was used each time? If you did & they lied my fury would have no end. If the answer is no though, the only person who played Russian roulette with your health was you. You are an adult actively involved in the swinging lifestyle, it is your responsibility to take care of yourself, nobody else's. To assume they would have bare back sex with you & nobody else is foolish. Yes, get tested, learn from this event. Fuck buddies are fuck buddies. You are the only one in this scenario who had your best interest in mind. You let yourself down mrs funky
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RHP User
12 years ago
Had a guy "disrobe" without my knowledge or consent just prior to entry awhile back and it blew my trust right out of the water. Almost enough time has passed for me to have the syphilis and HIV tests. You didn't over=react. Over-reacting would have been beating them senseless with a baseball bat or some other blunt instrument. I feel your pain OP. Good luck with your tests. And I hope you really told them what insensitive selfish fuckers they are!
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N4November
12 years ago
Makes them guilty. Morally and legally I think you would be feeling very disappointed and upset about their breach of trust. lol Scumbag married people looking out only for themselves!! A hard lesson to learn in swingland but there it is. You will know better next time. Big hugs xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
There is only one person that is responsible for your own sexual health and that is yourself and there is only one way to be safe from STI's... "Don't have sexual contact with anyone." Condoms only provide a reduced risk so having any form of sexual contact with anyone is putting your self at risk of contracting an STI, condoms or not. The majority of STI's are completely curable, and the dangerous ones are very rare in Australia. One of the posts in this thread mentioned prostitutes. I should point out that they have the lowest STI rates of any group of sexually active people in Australia. All registered sex workers are required to be tested every 3 months. The crazy fact is you are less likely to get an STI bare backing a prostitute then having protected sex with a regular swinger. I know i am going to cop shit from my comments on this subject, but when i read these types of threads i get the awful sense of fear and misunderstanding from posters in regards to STIs and protection. Why such fear? You are more likely to be killed in the next year by an infection you pick up while doing your shopping then anything you can pick up from unprotected sex. I don't see people getting upset when someone does not wear a face mask. Why is there such fear of sexually transmitted infections while there are so many infections that don't even require contact to be transmitted and are much more dangerous? Yes OP you over reacted. As you said you have had a long history of play with this person thus whether you did or did not use condoms it is highly likely that either one of you would have passed on an STI if you had one. There is no such thing as safe sex, anyone that is under the impression that there is such a thing is deluding them selves. The thing that really gets me worked up is that so many are under the impression that they are safe because they always use condoms they do not bother to get regular testing. Safe sex for us swingers is a group effort, those that play together should get tested together. This is not an individuals problem, it is not about condoms, they do not stop transmission. This is all about knowledge. very very few people would have sex if they knew they had an STI. So everyone make this December the month to go and get an STI check and reduce the risk for all the happy swingers here on RHP, condoms or not..
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RHP User
12 years ago
You are long time players, so they have always seen you play safe sex always (I assume). To ask this of you after all that time implies a level of trust in each other and that this was something special. Firstly by telling you this, would be like saying it didn't mean to them what it did to you and as you said secondly, if they knew you always played safe then they should have disclosed BEFORE that they don't. It's a shame that you made your decision based on assumptions and it's a shame that your trust is broken by a 'friend' it makes it all that harder. Can I suggest writing an email clearly and calmly stating the reasons why this was upsetting, there are some good comments given that you could incorporate. If they choose to ignore you so be it, but at least they might think twice before doing it again.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Bigmamma1' if they knew you always played safe then they should have disclosed BEFORE that they don't. It's a shame that you made your decision based on assumptions and it's a shame that your trust is broken by a 'friend' it makes it all that harder.This is what I am talking about. How can anyone assume that another is playing safe. What if the other had always played safe (had a condom on) even during oral and non penetrative sex. How does that guarantee that the person is free of an STI and somehow unable to transmit anything to you. To live under the delusion that condoms use guarantees a person is safe to fuck is being foolish. The only trust that was broken is the trust of the sexual education system for the dissemination of the lie that condoms guarantee protection. A while back I read a Lab safety sheet for lab technicians handling potencial STI samples. Even fully clothed, gloves, masks, glasses, special handling procedures they can and do get infections. To think a little bit of latex will protect you is living in a fools paradise.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I went searching for an emoticon of a "Shit" so I could give you the shit you thought you were going to get.. The thing is, you are correct.. Crackup.. DID choose to go bareback.. and in a world so saturated by subliminal messages and influential broadcasting media, we cannot even honestly trust OUR OWN thoughts, we certainly shouldn't ASSUME on others .. Bottom line.. "If you want to do something for YOU.. do it.. but, accept the responsibilities of your actions as YOUR OWN!! "
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RHP User
12 years ago
I totally agree with you. No use crying or whinging over something after it has happened.
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