life, love, lust and ........... loss

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Good topic mikeandshel. Not me fortunately. I only decided to do very naughty things sexually with others after just losing a love but thankfully I wasn't at fault in it and it wasn't a result of sexual behaviour. When I was in relationships I didn't suggest swinging (often or very seriously at least) because I wouldn't be able to bear to have it come between us and forevermore know that it was my doing... A bit of a less than desireable situation happened to a close friend of mine though. He was living in a sharehouse with another of his friends who was in an "open relationship" with his long term gf. Said friend/housemate could tell there was a bit of like going back and forth between my mate and his gf so he urged them to have casual sex to get it all out of the way. It didn't go as planned. She left him for my friend and pretty soon he had to move out of the house. There were some other issues involved and the relationship was struggling as it was. But if I were that guy I'd be kicking myself almost as much as feeling anger, hurt, loss and betrayal. What my friend did, while widely considered poor form amongst others, has turned out well so far for him. She and him are still together more than two years on. So if it was going to happen I would prefer it happened for a long term relationship than something that didn't work out anyway.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I definitely don't want to find a full relationship and all the obligations that come with it but also definitely didn't want to never have sex again and definitely didn't want to go out and pick up in bars and take my chances with assholes/clingers, etc. These sites are ideal for meeting people and choosing who you're going to take the time to get to know while allowing everyone to be upfront about expectations.In my marriage we had talked about threesomes but I was against trying it, didn't have enough confidence in myself and we'd had a couple of issues that had never really been resolved so the relationship so jealousy that hadn't been there in the beginning had begun to creep in to my psyche by the time we started talking about it. Like Slippery said, "I wouldn't be able to bear to have it come between us and forevermore know that it was my doing..."After losing that faith in my last relationship I honestly don't know if it would be something I could do with someone I wanted for keeps in the future. I really admire the strength of the connection and trust in couples that are happy swingers, it seems almost unimaginable to me that I would ever feel secure enough in a relationship again to take that risk, but at this point, it's just as unimaginable that i'd get into a position of feeling like "hey, that's mine!" anyways, hehe.xx Sarah

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Our only experiance is swinging so, We need to look deep and listen well to understand the subtle rules of couples swinging. Swinging is a shared experience. The parties in a couple who are involved in swinging never go it alone behind each other's backs. Swinging is not an open relationship. There is a theory that any relationship that includes extramarital sex activities is seriously threatened. This theory, unfortunately, has been proven correct wherever the fabrication of lies, deceit and personal head trips have been involved. Once the relationship is divided against itself it must eventually fall. Extramarital sex in the swinging scene, however, involves a reversal of this theory, for extramarital sex among swingers is not only no threat at all but it actually enhances a couples experience.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'JustEnough' Our only experiance is swinging so, We need to look deep and listen well to understand the subtle rules of couples swinging. Swinging is a shared experience. The parties in a couple who are involved in swinging never go it alone behind each other's backs. Swinging is not an open relationship. There is a theory that any relationship that includes extramarital sex activities is seriously threatened. This theory, unfortunately, has been proven correct wherever the fabrication of lies, deceit and personal head trips have been involved. Once the relationship is divided against itself it must eventually fall. Extramarital sex in the swinging scene, however, involves a reversal of this theory, for extramarital sex among swingers is not only no threat at all but it actually enhances a couples experience. swingers....as in couples who openly and knowingly indulge in sex with others.... how many started as couples but ended as two singles?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I was married once when very young. Swinging ended that marriage. I was unhappy in the marriage however so it would have ended eventually. Swinging just sped up the inevitable. Although he was the once who instigated the swinging it turned out he could not handle seeing me with the other guy and being with the other guy made me realise there was more for me out there. Lose/lose situation. That is not to say however that I would not try it again if in a relationship that could handle it. One never knows ....Kisses all,L

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'rufun4me2011'I was married once when very young. Swinging ended that marriage. I was unhappy in the marriage however so it would have ended eventually. Swinging just sped up the inevitable. Although he was the once who instigated the swinging it turned out he could not handle seeing me with the other guy and being with the other guy made me realise there was more for me out there. Lose/lose situation. That is not to say however that I would not try it again if in a relationship that could handle it. One never knows .... Kisses all, L Similar situation here. But not swinging. I had an open marriage, we had a couples profile as well as our own individual profiles and whilst our marriage certainly didn't end because of RHP - there were other far more legitimate reasons for our decision to separate after 14 years - I agree with rufunforme2011 in that if I'm honest, it certainly sped up its demise. .. I very much still believe in the philosophy of non-monogamy and I don't necessarily believe that "the game" is necessarily a dangerous one if the important foundations are there to support your primary relationship as the priority. . Flirty x

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