F42
human nature.... your biggest fear.... individuality
June 18 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
there are far worse things than dying.....dementia,stroke ,being dependent on others to have my most intimate needs met....being a burden on others....I would like a quick and painless death....and yes I have faced death .I have no idea if there is anything else an afterlife,reincarnation etc...if there is, I think I shall definately be heading for frogdom......defiantly even. Living in the moment is really all there is ...at least for me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
It should have read: How many of you share the fear of being or dying alone, as your deepest? And Of those who do fear that (being alone), how many do or HAVE had to face that fear, and know the liberation of overcoming it?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
little accidents while in hospital so was not alone.I have been alone and very unwell for some years, but got better so far so goodwe are always alone when it comes to deathits a solo tripbut its nice to have people around you when you are unwell and not able to look after yourself.I fear what freeya said, being off my rocker or in pain and having to live despite those thingsI think I have the right to be smothered by my relatives , for my small fortune that I dont have
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RHP User
13 years ago
Day to day it's not something i think about. Dying holds no fear for me personally except in the context of care for those i would leave behind. What does scare the bejesus out of me is the thought of the love of my life and our children dying in some stupid accident. That's been a recurring theme in many nightmares over the years. We plan to grow old together but when we get there i selfishly hope i go first because i would not have the strength to go on without her. As tuscan stated above dementia etc truly terrifies and saddens me on a weekly basis. Vixen works in dememtia care. M&V- Posted from rhpmobile
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Lifes_great
13 years ago
I'm not sure what my biggest fear would be, perhaps seeing my children hurt and being unable to help? I am certain though that I'm not scared of dying. We all die alone and as both Freya and Tuscanred have said ....'There are worse things than dying'.
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RHP User
13 years ago
alternatively, being buried alive Im sure that most would disagree though, we all have our own individual fears and they are real to us, so everyones basic fear is different. As the posters stated above, for them dependency is of a equal if not greater fear. But in answer to your question, OP Yes I fear dying alone, but as for being alone, in all honesty I know no different. And when it comes to facing that fear, well it wont matter, as the end will be guaranteed. True liberation doesnt necessarily come from " facing your fear" , but acknowledging it and letting go IMHO I have to disagree OP, I have to say that life is random, we control very little, only l our reactions to a given situation. And we overthink way too much.
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RHP User
13 years ago
A couple of months after my divorce I was sitting down with a bottle of Jacks contemplating my navel hair when I had that oh fuck feeling of shit!!!!! I am going to die alone, I even called a mate in my inebriated state and had a heart to heart with him about how I was feeling. Been lots of water under the bridge since then a couple of short term relationship along the way and I am still single and happy with my own company. Like most people who are single or alone i would like to find someone who ticks all the boxes especially on them cold nights when track pants just don't cut the warmth of skin on skin body contact when you snuggle up, but i am not rushing into a relationship just for the sake of not dying alone or single. As for facing the fear of dying alone, yep when I was working oaver seas I had an incident where I went this is it sunshine your stuffed now, but then I thought of my 3 wonderful kids, close friends and family and thought no matter where I am or what happens I am not really all that alone.
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Very interesting topic! My fear with dying is what happens when you die! Do you go somewhere n meet up with loved ones already passed or is it just lights out n show over? I have a fear of how I would handle if I lost one of my children to death before me! But fear in general - I fear many many things - I try stepping out of my comfort zone at a slow careful pace, but fear sets me back! If I knew how to conquer my fears I would be ecstatic!!! Mrs Cheeky Sxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
an interesting topic. When your dead your dead, whatever, that's why you have to enjoy the present.Only fear I had was not having a will, and leaving debt behind. Have both those bases covered so .I have to say I wouldn't like to burn to death. Apart from going in your sleep and not knowing anything about it drowning is actually the peaceful way to go. 1 thing is for sure, it will happen to all of us.Some know its happening, with others it's all over and they have no idea it happened.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'll have all my other personalities to keep me company. Yep, I have definitely faced my fear. It involved a police wire tap and an admission from a disgusting criminal. Easyvirtue has hit the nail on the head. Liberation comes from acknowledgement and letting it go. Justice also helps.I do not fear death at all. I'm looking forward to giving my Grandma a big hug.
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RHP User
13 years ago
its a furphy, still if that's what you reckon then good on you, and it probably is , sorry, had to throw that in
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RHP User
13 years ago
I came close to dying when I suffered a brain injury.. I will probably face death alone, as I don't and won't have children, and my family live overseas. It doesn't worry me however, as I've faced most challenges in life without my family and friends near. The thing I am most afraid of is one Freya mentioned. With dementia comes great pain and fear. I hope I'm able to go the peaceful and easy way.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have a view that life is just a 'thing', not particularly valuable, and without any real meaning. We're born, we live, we die, the end. My deepest fear is that I'm unloveable and it would be fair to say that I'm facing it at this stage in my life. I do have a fear of how I die - fire or drowning ... Nightmares!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
does one start? 1) Pinned and trapped underground. (been there) Death alone? I hope I don't get scared.. I reclon ot is how I will end up.. Not too long ago, a fellas remains were found way out east of Kalgoorlie.. still in his swag.. no idea who he was.. how he got out there.. why or anything.. results showed he had been there up to 12 years.. ?Walked out there?? laid down in his swg.. probably had a cigarette.... then went to sleep and died.. Peaceful and easy :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'EasyVirtue' alternatively, being buried alive Im sure that most would disagree though, we all have our own individual fears and they are real to us, so everyones basic fear is different. As the posters stated above, for them dependency is of a equal if not greater fear. But in answer to your question, OP Yes I fear dying alone, but as for being alone, in all honesty I know no different. And when it comes to facing that fear, well it wont matter, as the end will be guaranteed. True liberation doesnt necessarily come from " facing your fear" , but acknowledging it and letting go IMHO I have to disagree OP, I have to say that life is random, we control very little, only l our reactions to a given situation. And we overthink way too much. of what you've written, however, I still believe very little in the world is random, that's not to say we have any great "control" over things, I'm only saying that I believe nature and the universe is a great and wondrous machine that goes largely unnoticed by 99% of the human population. Where there is a need nature does it's best to provide, where there is excess, nature eventually culls, the world stays (mostly) in balance. Thanks for your thoughts!
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RHP User
13 years ago
A better way of asking my question re death and alone: do you fear dying KNOWING or FEELINGyou are alone, that you and your life don't or have not mattered to anyone?
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sweetgem
13 years ago
What if (TOUCH WOOD) I had an accident or severe illness which didn't kill me straightaway, but sent me into coma for years instead and put enormous burden on my family emotionally, mentally and financially!!! Dying alone has no fear for me, but I have had the deepest mental sadness impacted on me post my father's passing away! Becaus he passed away just a few hours after I left the hospital! Losing a parent is the biggest fear for me!!!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
My greatest fear in life is outliving any of my children.I don't have an issue with dying alone in fact I think I may prefer it, after all dying is kinda personal, I'd like to say my goodbyes, and then just slip away in my own company.When my mother was dying the family took turns being at her bedside for weeks, then when one of my sisters was held up for a few hours she slipped away. The nursing staff say it's a common occurrence, people would rather not do it in front of their loved ones so they hang on for a private moment and slip off. I kinda like that idea.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Something happening to my gorgeous daughter.'nuff said.DG
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mis__understood' A better way of asking my question re death and alone: do you fear dying KNOWING or FEELINGyou are alone, that you and your life don't or have not mattered to anyone? That in able to cross their version of the River Styx (apologies for not recalling their name for the River as I type) and therefore continued their journey onto Eternal life,they had to leave behind one, who genuinely mourned their passing, who was truly sorry to see your ending. If they did not then they were not guaranteed Eternal life. The true mark of a man is how many lives he has (insert your own word here) touched, inspired. That is how in the end you are measured. Therefore one can only hope that everyones life matters, even if it is, just to one -:) Hugs Sweetgem And as Mischevious Lad and 50ozCool said I cant imagine a greater grief. May it never happen to any of you.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mis__understood' A better way of asking my question re death and alone: do you fear dying KNOWING or FEELINGyou are alone, that you and your life don't or have not mattered to anyone? I've been alone a lot in my life, but have been fortunate to not be lonely very often. I have seen many old people in nursing homes with no one to visit them, or even miss them when they died. It's so sad to hear someone say death is all they have to look forward to. That thought does worry me. And again, it would be so much worse if I did end up with Alzheimer's disease. But as a nurse I'm lucky enough to be able to make (sometimes only the smallest) difference in people's lives regularly. When my time comes, I think I will be able to tell myself I did good. Now why did that make me tear up?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Something happening to my gorgeous daughter. 'nuff said. DG agrees with dg wholeheartedly. there is no greater fear than outliving ur child and subsequently, no greater sadness.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Believe me, its better to see your parent/s go, than them seeing you go. Its heartbreaking the other way around
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RHP User
13 years ago
For me its the thought of me out living my kids, My son is overseas at the moment and not a lot of contact while he is traveling so getting those updates as spasmodic as they are that he is okay takes the weight off. Apart from that, probably some of the things others have described, buried alive, burnt alive, type of things would be horrific not only for myself but knowing the kids would have to live with knowing they lost me that way.. but the slipping away peacefully would be the lesser of evils for them, knowing finally at peace. When my grand parents passed away, my mother didn't see it necessary to inform me they were ill so didn't get a chance to say good bye..... hmmm some parents aye....something I still regret not telling them I loved them one more time before they passed away.
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