F63
how honest should we be about sex ?
June 22 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
I think we all should be honest but gentle, maybe your friend could be a little more prompting in the moment,,,dont know. For me I appreciate when a woman tells me where or if I am going wrong,,,but it goes the some way on the opposite, tell him what he is doing right...All happy in the end I think....unless he cant handle the truth...lol then he doesnt deserve her.....
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RHP User
16 years ago
They say for a relationship to work you need to tick about 70 to 80% of the "Boxes" and that generally you won’t tick them all, but a good sex life is a pretty big box! Some people break up after a 5 or 10 years because the sex gets boring, so if it’s dull and boring from the start? Well what chance does it have? Chemistry, that spark, that thing that makes you want to tear your partners cloths off with your teeth! lol That is very important, especially in the beginning... As far as telling him that he doesn’t do it for you? Well for your girlfriend! Lol I really don’t know? That it is a very, very difficult one to tackle.
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RHP User
16 years ago
They say for a relationship to work you need to tick about 70 to 80% of the "Boxes" and that generally you won’t tick them all, but a good sex life is a pretty big box! Some people break up after a 5 or 10 years because the sex gets boring, so if it’s dull and boring from the start? Well what chance does it have? Chemistry, that spark, that thing that makes you want to tear your partners cloths off with your teeth! lol That is very important, especially in the beginning... As far as telling him that he doesn’t do it for you? Well for your girlfriend! Lol I really don’t know? That it is a very, very difficult one to tackle.
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RHP User
16 years ago
The whole sexual chemesitry thing is great but, if he floats your boat in all other areas and its not a 'performance issue' receptive people can teach and be taught. Peace, Ultrajum
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RHP User
16 years ago
"dear lord, you've got it all ... except anything that excites me in bed"show him, suggest things(though not in a "oh, look here you stupid man" - unless that is his 'thang' - try "it'd be hot if you", "you'd make me cum so hard if you"... and so on)I'm not sure it is rocket science (no pun intended) - just think how you'd rather someone teach you what to do, rather than being unhelpful and just telling you you're a dud root
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RHP User
16 years ago
If you dont think he can be taught toss him. Peace
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RHP User
16 years ago
I agree with sydneyboy3au unless you tell the other person wot he or she is doin wrong how is one suppose to know Its called communicating and telling the other person wot u like getting done to u and wot not The old saying learn from mistakes but if he doesnt know he is making mistake how is he to learn Firebird1967
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RHP User
16 years ago
Maybe he needs encouragment, Men SOMETIMES are expected to take the lead with sex, but maybe she has an awesome guy who just hasn't come out of his box. Its possible that he'd be a firecracker if she lit a fuse thats normally not touched for him. Get her to try different approaches to sex and foreplay... He might just be dull :(, but if she brings out something new in him they'll both have a great time!
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RHP User
16 years ago
some people just arent comfortable opening up straight away... and every guy likes a bit of an ego boost, so make the guy feel like hes attractive to you and hes more likely to be more confident in showing what he can do. and as others have said, take the time to teach him. you'd be surprised what people can learn with the right person ;-)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Once a week you have slave day in bed. You alternate week to week as to who is the slave. The rules are the slave has to do what the boss says, massage, touch me here, touch me there, touch me this way, stick finger in there.... You get it? If he's smart he'll learn fast and because it's slave day it's not instructional and damaging to his ego, it's HER fetish he is playing to. Any guy who doesn't want to pander to a womans fetish is gay or stupid and if they're either of those you don't want them anyway. Now tell me I'm a genius lol.
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Letsgetcrazy09
16 years ago
Oh what to do.........Ask him what floats his boat, what gets him excited. He might be a straight down the line missionary type of guy and to stray from that difficult for him....Yes some may be a little delicate in being asked or told so it could be difficult for your friend to broach the subject. I would think that some gentle coercing in the heat of passion could be the thing to get his fire started rather than have the coal embers just glimmering. If he is the 'one' for her and he seems to be giving the 'right signals' back to her, I'm sure some encouragement in the sack will lead to the 'whole' package..........Now where did I put that chocolate body paint............ Lets
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RHP User
16 years ago
... watching porn together can spice things up in your relationship - of course by porn we mean quality porn, not those B-grade ones out there. Tell him to watch and learn, not just perve. Toys could have the same effects as well - although we found that guys like to 'poke' more than to be 'poked' if you get my drift :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
There's no teaching this kind of thing. I find some people ... well... it just happens naturally and you know... there's some kind of sexual tension and connection and everything you do.. it just feels right to do at that time. And then there are other poeple .. it just doesn't work... the tension isn't there.. and everything you are doing feels forced. I think it has a lot to do with pheremones because, this same "sex fact" can be demonstrated on complete strangers. When the magic is not there.. it just isn't there... you can't teach someone to feel the magic.... the two people are just wrong together... they should go and get a coffee and a movie instead... or .. what I prefer.. drag them out of the bed to go and watch someone else... passing discrete commentary on matters such as body features and shagging techniques.. hehe. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'm in a very agreeable mood today....however remain selective with whom I agree...on this ocassion...its Stalky!! The crowd roars!! 'yaaaaaaaaay'
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RHP User
16 years ago
hehe.. Why thankyou Lippy!~ Actually I recall you writing on more than one occasion that people seem to have so much to say about something that ought to come naturally.... Well, as it happens, when I read those words from you, I "felt" that I totally understand. Yaaaaaaaay! Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
On one hand I agree that it's a good point that the spark either is or isn't there but on the other 'that thing what's supposed to come naturally' doesn't cum as naturally for some as others. Hugs, Mrs P'
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RHP User
16 years ago
Stalky 100%correct you can't teach that kinda shit you either got it or not,sure lingerie and pornos could help but it has to come from within.:))))
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RHP User
16 years ago
Then invest the time to teach them as enticeme suggested. People can learn, if said person is unable to improve and sex is still dull/boring then by all means end it, but if you are interested in the person then why not spend the time to improve things, your relationship will be stronger for it.
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RHP User
16 years ago
sounds like she's looking for a husband, aren't you meant to stop shagging when you get married anyway?
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RHP User
16 years ago
just tell her I am sorry.........
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RHP User
16 years ago
How long has she been seeing this guy for? Sometimes sex can be awkward in the beginning but can get better! I think if shes been seeing him for a while she might want to mention something in a nice way of course, or she could try and spice it up herself give him ideas and hints to spice it upHAHA I DIDN'T REALISE MY OTHER HALF HAD ALREADY REPLIED TO THIS THREAD AND OUR THOUGHTS ARE VERY SIMILIAR PSML :p
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RHP User
16 years ago
Lovers you have a real connection with are well worth the search. Unfortunately I think it's a case of trial and error. For every 200 or so lovers you might find one. This is why I advocate anonymous sex. I end up saying "next" a lot but I no complain. hehe. Memorable lovers. That's a worthy quest. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' hehe.. Why thankyou Lippy!~ Actually I recall you writing on more than one occasion that people seem to have so much to say about something that ought to come naturally.... Well, as it happens, when I read those words from you, I "felt" that I totally understand. Yaaaaaaaay! Hugs Stalky That was all sooooo five minutes ago. Im a grown up now And...as a grown up...my response to the actual question is: BWUAHAHAHAHA...are you serious?....Bwuahahaha..and so on and so forth.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Put the ipod on repeat mode playing Lilly Allen - Not Fair... I'm sure he'll get the hint sooner or later. Mrs Sassy
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RHP User
16 years ago
(subject line says it)
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have passed on all your pearls of wisdom thus far...... Unfortunately he isnt an rhp boy so he wont be reading this ... I agree with the teacing in a subtle way but also with Stalky in terms of if its not there between the two of you without trying maybe it never will be. Sassy xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Gently let that vanilla partner into your sexual self and all the fantasy within. Build high communication possibility during sex. It can be done almost covertly like a developing film or flower opening into bloom. If there is too much awkward resistance or closed mind set that cannot be overcome - Dump the relationship and buy them a vanilla ice cream to go with the termination notice. Expend all avenues first so you know you've done your best. It's worth a shot.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Tough one SASSY It is very hard to teach someone ..You cant make someone like Brocoli ..We want our lovers to love Brocoli so in the meeting process they should spoken about the Brocoli ..Establish what foods we like to eat the other stuff dosent matter so much if he cleans his plate !
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