F50
great boyfriend, vanilla sex... help!
July 30 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Some people can't separate sex and love, some do it easily. I would find it almost impossible to have shared my wife with another person when we were together. I could very happily play with other people / couples if it was a fuck buddy, not someone I was deeply in love with. Maybe he is the same and will never come around to the idea. You might try to get him really pissed and have another girl to come on to him ;) it would be a lot less threatening than first up with another couple / man in the room. What about watching threesome / gangbang pornos? Does he enjoy them? What if you had girlfriend over and the two of you slowly started to make out? Hard spot to be in, be careful cause one day you will get caught cheating. good luck
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RHP User
16 years ago
Your not on your own hun, i was also in the same situation! My ex was dead from the waist down... He wouldnt try new things ever, and i was the same i wanted to step outside my comfort zone too and enjoy threesomes and going crazy! but he wouldnt. ... My advice would be is to talk to him, tell him that this is what you really want. Because in the long run your curiosity may strike you again...and your great boyfriend may not stick around. Not great material, but just sit down talk to him, if he still saying no... the ball is left in your court
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RHP User
16 years ago
I know precisely what you're feeling. You're my twin sister. *Waits patiently for all the good the answers to this question* Warm wet hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
I mean this in all seriousness and I am not preaching so now to business. I had a great wife she was awesome, the sex however was absolutley vanilla, so I did what you are doing I went out and found some extra loving around the place. Matter of fact I turned into quite the whore about it. Every time I went away I was having sex with someone else and you know I justified it by saying its just an activity its not about love all that good stuff. Then one day I did fall in love, deeply in love with my mistress. The outcome of this was that I ended up by myself and have lost everything, house, family some of my business probably around a mill in assetts all up. My advice to you is that if your not compatible then thats the go you either find a way to curb your libido or you find a way to increase your boyfriends. I would suggest a serious talk is required. Have you thought about trying to find out what his fantasies are I am guessing he is not that different to the rest of us and some FFM 3sums rate up there in his dreams. I can not even start to tell you the impact of my behaviours on myself my family and my business life and it has taken a good 12 months just to get to a point where I vcan even think about being with another person. Matter of fact I havent had sex in the last 12 months so that tells you how seriously it affected me. Dont justify what you do by blaming someone else, I guess in a relationship we either want the same things or we dont. This leaves all of us in a difficult situation, do we compromise on what we want to keep our partner happy, will this compormise be one that we cant live with. Only you can answer that question. My advice is talk to your partner explore your options with him try to make what you have work as you say he is awesome in every other department. Maybe he has a confidence problem I dont know. These are things you need to explore and you know I have learnt that the exploration is fun. My X once told me when I suggested that we try some exploration that she wasnt interested and that if I wanted to explore maybe I should find a 22 year old to do that with. I guess that really was when I went wild, so only you can answer the question do I stay with this man or not. Am I willing to compromise on my needs for the sake of him. Do I want this long term or should I look for another partner. Just dont cheat it destroys you physically and emotionally and has a toll on all those around you Greg
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RHP User
16 years ago
well, thanks to all of you for your replies... I pretty much knew already what all of you are saying, but it does help to know that you're not alone, that other people have had the same problems too and that gives you a bit of perspective. To answer some of your questions, yes, I do think he finds the idea threatening and he does have a confidence problem. He will watch some porno occasionally, but never with me (another problem for me... sometimes it seems like he has a madonna-whore complex with me... at the beginning of our relationship he was incredibly turned on by how open and relaxed I am about sex... always just the two of us tho but we did a LOT of stuff and he knew I had had some experience with other girls... then as our relationship developed he seems to treat me more and more like a wife/mother/sister rather than hot sexy lover... and seems turned off if I suggest watching porno/experimenting... I have tried, believe me, to get our sexual relationship back to what it was but the rejection is hard... and I will admit that the frustration is difficult to deal with! I know I know... we are in no way sexually compatible and as most of you have written above, it's up to me to decide if that is someting I can live with! Hard decision though!
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RHP User
16 years ago
When my husband and I first got into swinging we read a book called "The ethical slut" it really helped to explain how sex and emotions don't need to be linked and covered the topics of emotions. It is a really great book for anyone new to swinging or anyone familiar with and wants there lifestyles affirmed.
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RHP User
16 years ago
i've had wonderful sex with ladies who were just good friends at best.. i've had "nice" sex with women i'd die for or kill for..... even clean the kitchen...your not alone. there is at almost total separation for some of us.. what i think is hot and what i love are not always the same.LRE (shruggs)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hmm If I gave my wife a book called the ethical slut I don't think it would achieve the required objective. This is about changing peoples behaviour and it doesn't happen very fast and only if they want to. Sophie ,if you know what motivates him I suggest lots and lots of little stepping stones that give both of you a little of what you want without threatening him. Remember he loves you and his security and doesn't want to lose you. Make time available; Maybe starting with a masseuse coming around once a week and giving you both relaxing therapeutic massages (stress is something that puts people off sex) Then maybe she can't come (sorry pun) and another lady comes instead and the massage is more sensual Maybe her husband comes along after a while to help with the massages so you can both be massaged at once. Maybe next time the couples give each other massages Maybe boys versus girls strip poker. etc...you get the idea - Try some trading a little more for something he wants dont agree the journey - just the next step But you have to take it as his pace - it might take years - but hopefully you'll enjoy it But then again he may not want to change at all....
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RHP User
16 years ago
been through soo many relationships now where my other half is boring in the sack and i have tried to change it by telling them what im interested in some thought i was sick perverted scum others tried it only to become jealous and paranoid and the only one who was interested in the same stuff as me ie group couples etc i couldnt stand she drove me mad couldnt stand her whilst wearing clothes but we got along so well naked .......so the search continues you ever been to melbourne sophie ??xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi , my ex was the same , vanilla and boring , after she had kids , she didnt want to know any more, which got me frustrated , and the rejection was hurting too , in the end we split up for 6 months then we got back together , but sadly it didnt work out , now i'm single, if your health is getting affected , get out while you can , life is too short and go and have fun , i know i will
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RHP User
16 years ago
sometimes libido and desire just doesn't match. In earlier generations when people, esp women, were less likely to believe they were entitled to a fulfilling sex life, couples commonly stayed together for other reasons, many of which were valid - companionship, love, shared goals, family etc - even when their sex life sucked.These days all of us, and definitely women, are more likely to expect to be satisfied sexually, whether that means a deep emotional connection or wild kinky fun, or both.And trust me when I say from personal experience, if you are not being satisfied with your partner and you are not truly free to fulfill your needs and desires outside the relationship, there's a very high chance the dissatisfaction and frustration will gnaw away at you and your relationship in time anyway.Might be worth facing it head on now. Talk, get some sex counselling - tantra maybe (tantricblossoming.com), do some research etcGood luck :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have read a number of posts and thisis an interesting subject . I think change in ways sexual is difficullt as it encompasses emotions ,morals and deep beliefs. Cheat Path - This can survive for a while but you may go through waves of guilt and pleasure. It comes down to how you justify it. Of course being found out will probably cause massive pain ..but so too will leaving ..OPEN Path- I reckon the only way to move further is to try and educate .To say for example that by not going forward you think the relationship may break down anyways so maybe if he can try and flex a little to see what can be gained. He can always say after experimenting that he wishes to stay where he currently is on the matter . In short: Present a no loose situation to move forward and he just may try it out ...Sexual mismatch - is a very difficult thing to rectify.....wish u luck
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have the same problem. Serious committed relationship for almost 2 years. Tried lots of talking, arguing, suggestions, porn, toys, visits to adultshop, flattery, everything. Just came down to sexual mismatch in the end. I however, did not cheat. Its very difficult to find someone who you get along with, and also drives you crazy in the bedroom. Im still looking. I've had one or the other, but never both.
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RHP User
16 years ago
thanks to all the recent commenters, especially those wishing me luck... I do check the replies when I see movement on this post because mine was a question that there is no easy answer to... you have all given me different things to think about so thanks again for all the constructive advice! xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Sophie... you dont say how long you have been together...nor whats great in yr relationship....2 important questions... as is the level of your desire for either your boyfriend or your sexual self.... Maybe it doenst need to be the problem it seems..maybe you should discuss you playing on yr own without him knowing.... do you live together??? Im not advocating you cheat on him, but maybe a little time and space to explore these desires and then see if you feel any different...if he never finds out but you do....then you would know either way round. If however you feel that you know deep down that you could never compromise and that the sexual desires you have are essential to your being and happiness...then you need to tell him that this is how you feel and if he cant compromise with you .... then you should leave him... and if neither option sounds right then go with the one that makes you happiest!!! :) Good Luck 2b
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'surferboy142' I mean this in all seriousness and I am not preaching so now to business. I had a great wife she was awesome, the sex however was absolutley vanilla, so I did what you are doing I went out and found some extra loving around the place. Matter of fact I turned into quite the whore about it. ......Thank you for being so courageous and sharing a living story.For a man it is commendable to come out like this.With the awesome lady who initiated this topic I can also say the obvious that compatibility in life is an essential element to the perception of happiness.However, despite what we are trained to think, life is not all about sex and sexual adventures.Even though many Mental health practicioners may agree the root cause of many illnesses, depression and dissatisfaction in life may have a sexual core at it roots in the past, the reality is there's so much more to life, learning, engaging, discovery, travelling, reading, writting, friendship, family and more than the sexual activitis.We can wrap every day and every thought in eroticism but that shall remain a wooden sword in a razor sharp arena.Select your battles before fighting them.
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RHP User
16 years ago
lmfao Escapepod.... Sex is my escape ... my haven .. the place where I go to dissapear from life, learning, engaging, discovery, travelling, reading, writting, friendship, family...... and I use a blunt sword.... made of pork... although I do have razor sharp teefies. Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
That is a tough one...it takes a certain type of person to be able to know the difference between sex and love..and by the sounds of it if u did manage persuade ur partner in2 doing it...he may start to hate u for it and not look at u in the same way especially if he is a jealous person...as they say swinging can either make ur relationship or break it I learnt the hard way ;p so my advise wud be to continue doing it without ur partner or find someone who has the same ideas as u
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RHP User
16 years ago
i'm in pretty much exactly the same situation as you....my wife is wonderful in almost every way, and we used to swing together, go to swinger parties, hook up with couples....for about 2 years.....and pretty much as soon as i proposed, all that wild stuff just stopped. Now i get nothing more than eye rolls for suggesting it. So, i'm here, and while i hate the deception etc, i'm having an amazing sex life with some wonderful women and couples. So yeah, you'e certainly not alone in feeling this way and there's plenty of people who will empathize i'm sure. :) x
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RHP User
16 years ago
Gaz - what can I say...we're just slaves to our libidos hon... life's all about balance... so my advice to you is -practise standing on your toes, I always find it helps to keep your balance in all sorts of sticky situations --if ya know what I mean ;-) HotazIce - as smoking hot as dry ice ... and smart too... what a girl! *sigh* EscapePod - love your comments because they get my blood boiling and I get all hot and bothered... it's kinda like sex! on this site, I'll post about sex and relationships and keep the problem that I can't get through more than 15 pages of Joyce's "Ulysses" to Facebook, my femminst views to Jezebel and my travel plans to lastminute.com. But thanks anyway. We all need some fun in our lives, so good for you needsumfun29, I empathize 100%. 2balloons - loved your whole comment... wicked suit too ;-)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi sophieWow! what a dilemma but not an unusual one obviously.I noted with interest your comment."he seems to treat me more and more like a wife/mother/sister"This is cause for concern in itself, it appears he does not see you as an equal partner with whom he is in a relationship.I do not envy your situation but you have some long hard thinking and decisions to make.Is this relationship working for me?Do I want to be a mother/sister or a partner?Hmmmm not a good situation from what I can see, the folks who said you need to sit down and discuss this are on the right track, I believe this is the best option.Forget about getting him pissed and trying to introduce others into the relationship, that is foolish and manipulative, hardly conducive to getting an equitable outcome to your problem.Talk and determine if you both have or can give each other what you want or is it time to say thanks it was great but time to move on.Those of you who mentioned you are in the same boat and tomcattin over the fence, maybe it is time to show how much you really love your partner and step up to the plate and be honest.
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RHP User
16 years ago
It's so easy Sophie, move closer to us and come play any time you like!!!We could also get Mrs Pup to seduce your man while we secretly watch..surely he couldn't hold jealousies after that! haha
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RHP User
16 years ago
OMG!!! :-) You is one very naughty puppy!!!! ;-) hehe :-P LMAO!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Lol puppy! You assume too much! He might crack under the promise of a wrestle and a lickin followed by a little mmf action with Sophie!! Three or four beers first and he'll wonder if he's dreaming... :p (I'm booking my flight to Adelaide babe) I hate cheating. It's not my fault I'm head over heels in love with my wife. It's not my fault her sexual interests are completely vanilla. It's not my fault that I am sexually aroused by licking mens armpits (lol) ... it's not my fault I am bisexual. We can't choose these things.... we can choose whether or not we satisfy our desires but that's all we can do. we marry for a lifetime... at least that's the objective. But a lifetime is a long time. We can suppress our sexual desires sure. We can suffer in silence or we can talk about it at the risk of distressing our lovers irrepairably, or we can throw little tantrums .... I mean I've tried it all... suppressing my sexual expression for years on end got the better of me. So I'm weak.... and I'm an arsehole ... and all that stuff self righteous people will tell me. Well live and let love, Sophie. I'm trying to wear my libido out before my world turns to shit... lol. hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
I was a bit like your partner, happy in my confort zone. Sure I used to talk bout it with my partner or friends as a giggle sort of thing but never thought I would try anything or even have the opportunity present itself. lol my ex's head would probably spin if he knew all the things I have done now. Funny I also bumped into a guy at a club once who knew me before I transformed. There I was in my school uni, being cheeky, watching a foursome in the orgy room. He was stunned, and couldnt believe it was me. Was this the shy girl that used to slap his hand away when he tried to get amourous, who has two guys pressing her up against the doorway, undoing her top and sucking her breasts in public whilst others are having sex at her feet yup is me! Don't think he had even seen my breasts until that moment either lol. He loved it and kept telling me so! Anyway, tis communication and information that you need. At least try and get a compromise with your ex. Perhaps agree to go to a swingers club a couple of times before making a decision and then just saying not for me. Until i found out what was out there, I didnt realise how much I would enjoy it and how many do. I think a lot of people think this is some underground cult of deviates. Prob what your partner thinks. Like minded friends might be a way as well. If you have some of those attend your next bbq and perhaps talk a lil openly bout last weeks mischief he may relax a little more or ask some questions, or maybe some fun might start. Just start slow and dont push or u will get resistence. Let him make up his mind, but give him the info to do so. Some things are not for everyone and there is no changing that..that will be your choice when that time comes, you can't stay wondering either, you will miss out on too much. Mwah xxMiss Honeyxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oh and forgot make it fun, will get a better response. xxx xx Miss Honeyxx<<
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RHP User
16 years ago
Miss Honey.....all I can say is that I want you at my next BBQ :P....along with Gaz (who's already booked his flight Yay!) and Puppy obviously ;-)!!! LOL
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RHP User
16 years ago
Summer's coming and it's BBQ time! We'll bring some nice buns and a sausage sophie xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
There are people that love to fuck and those that don't......I can not really relate to those that dont any more, having come out of a staight, but very loving relationship ....can really do your head in if you let it, when you think something is missing, you either sit there and pretend its all good, do what you are doing, or get out. you can try and let him know what he is missing, but by the sounds of it you would be baby sitting him, not worth it. tis ultimate to have a relationship, great sex, loving,caring and sharing, with out the head fucks XXX
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RHP User
16 years ago
But I don't eat meat lol guess will have to have a go at Gazza's spuds then teehee. xx Miss Honey xx <<
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RHP User
16 years ago
I went out with an inflatable doll once.....and same thing......lots of straight vanilla......as often as i wanted.....but something was missing???.......things did change for a short while when she started going down on me.....but that became predictable.......and the conversation was shiite!..........so bit the bullet.......and buried her in a land fill.....dont think anyone has noticed........yet!.......OMG!!!.........I hear sirens!!!!.........gotta go bella's n bello's.....Cioa!!!
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tamworthguy46
16 years ago
Re sophie.....I don't know ?....get him a puppy i suppose ! Re xx miss...Well I'm totaly shocked, i thought you were a nice girl !.....guys pressing against you and fondling your boobies !.......wait till the bingo girls hear about this !
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RHP User
16 years ago
Just wanted to share a lil experience of my own. I met a nice guy..hmmm?..Sadly he is a lil weak and seems to like women who dominate him mentally. He talked to me about this and I happily told him that he was lucky to meet me as I like everything even. I introduced him to RHP and he totally got turned on by it. I was straight away honest with him telling him that I am exploring MMF fun and if he was not into exploring and swing with couples , then I am not the girl for him. He was happy to get into chatroom, happy to be on cam with me in chatroom. Happy to even have sex on cam..lol. Then 1 day I set up for a guy to come over for MMF..He sent me angry sms messages. Saying it was GAY!! I am like WTF..!!! Then he went and cheated one night with a woman..Told me the next evening and said that she wanted an FFM with me...WFT!!! We agreed that it was not going to work obviously. Then not long ago I find out he signed up to RHP!!!! And he called to tell me that he has been watching MMF porn..aghhh..go figure hey!! LOL.. OK..next shock..Yes..this is true. I lived overseas for 13yrs. My marriage was breaking down ..the last 6 years there, I only had sex 3 times...and that 3 times was in the last year (same man) before I left to come back to Australia. I hardly even masterbated ..LOL...So since coming home , 18 months now and in my sexual prime.hehe...I am opening up (was very slowly the first year).. A lot of things shocked the hell out of me when I first joined here. Now it is all sexy fun..lololol....woohoo!!!!.And I am still mild compared to some of the people here..LOL I guess I am just trying to say....If you are not completly happy in your relationship..then it isn't ment to be..For me I have to have the trust, love and the naughty fun with my partner.I want it all..lol...I have missed out on a lot for many years..And at 42 I wont settle for a man who wants it all his way. He is either in this wonderful fun or not. Through my ups and downs I am blessed to have my RHP friends.You know who you are and I love you all xxxxxxx. To be there and wisely support me. Your either into this or not. Not everyones cup of tea. I say explore.... Enjoy your time time here.. There is the right person out there for us..somewhere...Be honest with your feelings, and desires. Do wish you all the best Sophie xxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Tam Tam me is me is...was two agaisnt one, what was me to do hmmmmmm. Didn't see u come and rescue me in Gaz's super hero cape pfft. xxMiss Honeyxx << wonders who the bingo girls are lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
One of the worst things in the world to go through is unrequited love. Next worse (grammar failure) is unrequited lust. The pain of wishing to be with someone and knowing that you and your feelings mean nothing to them is torturous. There is no respite until the hormones fade a year or two later (hopefully). A least with unrequited lust, sex with someone else or a session of masturbation frees you for a day or two. Sometimes in a relationship you need to set a direction. If you both go the same way great - if you don't then you need to decide if lust trumps love or vice versa. Remember the one that desires the other the least controls the relationship.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks for sharing your story sweetie xxx, I appreciate all the advice I've received on this post..........except for Tam's LOL! Tam...If you mean a puppy puppy, I don't get it! LOL... if you mean get him PUPPY... well, they're already on their way here to wake my guy up BIG TIME :P LOL! Sweetpetite, your story reminds me of one of mine... My experienced ex introduced me to all of this (and I'll be forever greatful :P) and he got me through all of my initial hang-ups... broke me in, if you will lol. He and I talked and talked... and talked some more about boundries, limits, etc etc... and we often revised them after each encounter (I started having less boundries, he more ha ha ha). After some excellent experiences - clubs, parties, etc... I told him that I had a girlfriend that I'd like to join us and that I thought would be really willing.. but I wasn't 100% sure... and I wasn't even sure where to start, to be honest!! He encouraged me to flirt with her...to tell her about us & all the naughty things we get up to... he even told me that his ultimate fantasy would be to walk in on the both of us together and join in!!! Well, obviously I didn't need much encoragement, she's just my type....a curvy, sexy, brunette... but I didn't think it was going to be as easy as it was... I invited her over for dinner (he knew and even spoke to her on the phone, was very flirty) but things actually got quite hot pretty quickly... I called the boy to say "get over here quick, we want you" and he...... got really upset! Told me he was upset that "I'd acted on my own" WTF???? ... and there I was thinking he'd be thrilled and that I was making his fantasy come true!! LOL We ended up having a fight, he didn't come over, end of fantasy! LOL I still don't get it, even now! p.s. I no longer see him, I still see her! :P LOL
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hahaha...Well at least you got to keep her.. .. I could tell you another story...This one I will message to you. Always find what you want...xxxxxxxx sweetpetite41
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RHP User
16 years ago
W.A.I.T , now curtin uni did a study years ago and found that there are 50 people you can fall in love with in your immediate area ( if you live in a city), so get a new guy, just as hot, perfect in every other way but into sex and fun!hope this helpscheers,kev
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RHP User
16 years ago
OH man! You would have to say that Parkowa. Now I gotta go out and find the 50.. that's gonna be some kind a orgy! Hugs Gaz
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RHP User
16 years ago
I tried, I really did guys... I read your comments... made lists of what to do... and what not to do LOL and so this weekend I talked my guy into watching some porn on the interwebs :-P... It went something like this: Me: "mmmm honey...why don't you show me what you're into? what turns you on...mmmmmm" Him: puts on girl-on-girl (OMG what a surprise! /sarcasm :P) Me: "mmmmmm baby... you know I'd totally be into doing that for you if you want" (what a selfless girl I am :P) Him: "I really love how you're so open honey...but just put it out of your mind with me 'cos it isn't going to happen" Me: pouts while thinking of really really good counter-argument Him: changes subject and refuses to discuss further
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RHP User
16 years ago
Maybe he would go for a partner swap Sophie... He could spend a week with my wife and they could bitch about us... while we do .. what comes naturally.. :p hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that idea!!! LOL But he WON'T be one of the 2 Italians I'm smuggling back into the country for you...for obvious reasons ;-) So what's Plan B bebe??
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RHP User
16 years ago
Wish my partner was like you...lol..heres the thing..no matter what u say he will never agree cos of his jealousy..if and when he agrees he has lost his respect for you so the relationship is doomed..my advice is to be selfish and take what u need or you will harbour resent which will also destroy your relationship..so ya damned if u do and damned if u don't..we all have our needs and feel miserable if we can't access them. hope it works out for you xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Sophie.. I read your post, got an erection and then heard that homer simpson thinking music... lol. Well, my brain may be dysfunctional but the good news is that at least my dick is working. Plan B..... Mile high club... no wait.. you're on the plane alone with those italians... hehe... that sounds like fun... damb those sex thought distractions...... Plan B.... I'll come back to this... Gazza <<< get's sandwich and coffee....
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RHP User
16 years ago
While I'm waiting for Gaz to finish his sandwich and coffee and for inspiration to strike (how's that going bebe??), I'd just like to say that you are 100% right. My boy has actually even said something along those lines to me, i.e. "I am jealous and if I DID see you with another person I WOULD lose all respect for you". I don't agree at all with his opinion on this and I've told him so openly and honestly. Some people change, and some people don't. And if they do change, in my experience, it'll be when they're ready to and not because of anything anyone else might say or do. So yes, damned if you do and damned if you don't. LOL
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RHP User
16 years ago
From what I have read, this post, and everyone's stories, and little sex distractions (gaz...tune in, or out, i don't know?)From what I know about you Sophie, which is limited to the posts ion the forum and your profile, two things are blatantly obvious.And maybe they need to be said blatantly blunt.1. You are a very sexual/physical person.2. He is not.No offense intended, but i would have to say that the relationship is already a sinking ship...its only a matter of time before you jump off.In my experience, which, granted, is quite probably far less than anyone else that has posted, a relationship is about a few things.Acceptance.Understanding, or in the very least trying to.And, for lack of a better word, Compatibility. What i mean by this is to be able to be yourself, your whole, unbridled, unrestrained self, without fear of rejection, or reprimand for being such a person.My total apologies if i offend, is not my intention, but you can't be you, and that is a compromise on yourself.In the end, that compromise on being the person you are will create discomfort within yourself, as you know that you are who you are, but can't be who you are with this person.You have two choices. Obviously talking to him about it, and trying your darndest to get him to come around, isnt working, and it won't work (for whatever reason, that's his issue, not the one i'm trying to get across).Try to soldier on compromising yourself and who you are.orJump ship.I tried option a for nigh on 6 years. It broke me. Complete mental breakdown.It ended with me jumping ship.Found someone who is awesome, in every aspect.We have total appreciation, acceptance, and understanding. And the sex is kick ass ;)Just my two cents (or dollars, rather lengthy, apologies)Notime
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RHP User
16 years ago
Offers to come to SA and do Sophie on the floor in front of her fella next time he watching neighbours and sipping his Horlicks. If that don't work, I will bring ya back here. The boys are more animated lol. Lix on ya bitz xx Miss Honey xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey notimeforposers.... there are more than two alternatives you offered.. "should I stay or should I go"... Everyone who is marreid wil lcompromise. It may not be in the foirst year... or it may not be in the tenth year.. or the twentieth year... but if you ant to remain married... you can do it for 50 years... but only if you compromise yourself. This is simply because we sometimes grow apart and our needs and desires change over time. I love my wife even if she is a bit of a homophobe. Why should such silly little things get in the way of romance! There has to be a Plan B. I refuse to accept that there is no plan B. Darling you gotta let me knowShould I stay or should I go? If you say that you are mineIll be here til the end of timeSo you got to let knowShould I stay or should I go? Always tease tease teaseYoure happy when Im on my kneesOne day is fine, next is blackSo if you want me off your backWell come on and let me knowShould I stay or should I go? Should I stay or should I go now? Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be troubleAn if I stay it will be doubleSo come on and let me knowThis indecisions bugging meIf you dont want me, set me freeExactly whom Im supposed to beDont you know which clothes even fit me? Come on and let me knowShould I cool it or should I blow? Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be troubleAnd if I stay it will be doubleSo you gotta let me knowShould I stay or should I go?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Of course you don't offend... I posted a question that I honestly wanted opinions on, it's hardly right not to then accept all opinions I get :P Of course you are right about our non-compatability in the bedroom. In fact, this will be the reason that eventually things will come to a head. I did start this post asking if there was any way that anyone knew to convince him that sex and love can be 2 very distinct separate things (not only for selfish reasons or because I want to be free to do my own thing, but also because I truly think he's missing out and would love to share and include him in a more sexually open relationship) but apparently that's a 64 million dollar question :P LOL And so, I'm afraid, in the meantime, you'll find me rolling around on the floor with Miss Honey waiting for Gaz to STOP singing and START working on Plan B... Oh... yeah... Missy...Gaz...take your time... Sophie's a bit busy at the moment ;-) LOL
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RHP User
16 years ago
hehe... Sophie, speaking about missing out... the other day after a long deeply probing session with a few lubed fingers, the subject of anal sex came up in my household and I got the typical "you're not putting that in there because last time you did it hurt for days" type cold shoulder and whilst I was in the midst of explaining how that time was an accident (I was ramming her pussy hard at the time and missed... ouch.. oops... clumsy fool.. struth... sorry.. that was like 5 years ago the last time I did that... do you think she will ever let it go? Nope) ... and that I really do know how to do it gently so that it feels right, but I realised that nothing would change her opinion.... yet... so I'll persist with the fingers, which she obviously truly enjoys. Ive got a lot of work to do to get her involved in an mmmf bisexual orgy.. but hey life's made of challenges. Oh that's right... Plan B.... this will take a while.... Your two Italian nephews have to attend a sausage convention in Perth and of course, it wouldn't be appropriate, clutzes that they are, for them to display the family sausage without taking someone along who just knows everythign there is to know about warming up a snag .. not so much that it pops but enough to get the beef really firm... you know... just perfect... like you do Sophie.. Obviously you are going to have to accompany them... be back in a few days. YOU take off to Perth with the lads and wait in Miss honey's African room. Now, Miss_Honey's job is to seduce your man. She'll need to put on her best white sox and he skimpiest school girl skirt, nickerless, and dripping with desire and walk into the Ferrari show room where he works, bending over the bonnet and doing all the sweet things that only Miss_Honey can do.... if he is any kind of Italian, he'll be on that like bees to a honey pot... so she mentions Perth... oh Sophies in Perth, he'll say... well why not come back to my place big boy says honey... you can surprise your wife at the sausage convention.... and Bob's your uncle... back to Miss honey's place he goes .... in the spa. My wife needs a holiday and so do I ... so we catch the red eye and I says "Id like you to meet my friend "Principal Tamworth".... (I mean, he's already in Perth in spirit so he may as well get his sexy arse over there right now or else I'm going to have to come to Tamworth and yodel "Do right Woman" in a borat outside his place.. don't think I can't find you bebe... hehe... I expect a decent wrestle when I get there).... who plies her with alcohol cause she's one of those "I love you" drunks hehe... gawd she's cute when she's like that.. hehe... Anyway... while that's going on, Im ducking around to see Mr & Mrs Peachy cause they're hawt... (and I drags them back to Miss_Honey's place). This puts a decent mob of sexy fuckers all in the same proximity... i.e. Miss Honey's place.... all getting jiggy... and that's a good start! I need a up of coffee. Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
... now I'm going back to bed n I'll be thinkin' of yas all... hehehe Mrs P
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RHP User
16 years ago
Me finks I am expecting another complaint about the noise in me letterbox some time soon
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RHP User
16 years ago
That's one HELL of a Plan B Gazza! :P *Sophie's frantically booking tickets online as we speak, wondering if sausage conventions actually exist and thinking we need someone with excellent organizational skills and an eye for the details - Peachy, you gorgeous thing, where are you????????*
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RHP User
16 years ago
ok this is your only chance i think but it will be do or die...lol...invite over a girlfriend who likes to play...get hubby pissed then u2 girls go for it..he'll either get that horny and join in or leave in disgust...bit drastic i know but drastic times calls for drastic measures as they say...cheers xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
nice ass by the way sophie...lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
that was 5o people IN YOUR OWN SUBURB! gazkev
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RHP User
16 years ago
waiting for the final chapter in Gaz's story (i mean plan).???
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RHP User
16 years ago
maybe they were waiting for me hehehe...I'm running a bit late but hadn't noticed Sophie's post above before lol...
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RHP User
16 years ago
so... tell me... how ARE the plans coming along????? Now that I'm cyber-engaged, I sort of need to get all the kinks ironed out before the wedding.... :P LOL
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi, I think that is you are that into him and you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him then you should make the sacrifice for him. No doubt being a male he wants to sleep with alot of woman, but he controls himself so I don't see a reason that if she doesnt want to share himself with other women and wants to dedicate his life to you, then I dont see why you cannot do the same. Sorry for being blunt. Tony
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ftttt Sacrifice! Jesus died for our sins so nobody has to be sacrified... lolz. Meah, comes a point in time when you've suffered long enough, and besides, I don't recall Sophie saying that her man was saving himself just for her. Nothing in life is absolute. The moment you take your spouse for granted you'll soon discover a whole new world of anxt. It's wrong to cage up something so beautiful. Let the love flow freely I say. Its entirely practical to express your love for more than just one, where that love exists. Hugs Gaz
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