M60
friends with benefits
October 11 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can and do keep my friends as friends after the sex has run its course. In fact some of my best friends are like that. I dont think that there can ever be true and deep friendship between a man and a woman until the sex question has been answered anyway...JMO before you all start saying there can! If you really fancied this woman sexually, you would not be hesitating now would you? So to me the sexual attraction for you is not as strong as it is for her. If you want to have a sexual relationship with her, you need to ask yourself IF she is capable of being Just Friends again or would you see her in a different light? If you dont want to play hide the sausage with her, then you have to sit her down and tell her that even though you find her incredably attractive, blah, blah, blah, the friendship is way more important and you dont want sex to ruin what you have etc. I have one particular mamale friend and one drunken night in Sydney we got a touch carried away. I knew that he was gonna be awkward about it so the next day I just carried on as I normally would and have never made a big thing about it at all. 18 months later we have not repeated the experience and our friendship is still just as great (if not greater) than it ever was.
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erotictouch4u
14 years ago
There is also the chance that you could lose the friendship if you don't take up her offer. She might be friends because she wants to have the benefits with you...she might be friends because she wants to eventually have something serious with you and this could be a stepping-stone to that final desire ? I had a close friend who I approached about "benefits" and though she rejected me and said she wanted to keep it just friends we stayed close, but not as close as we were...the rejection hurt. ET xox
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RHP User
14 years ago
If you both have the same intentions then it can work..just remember what your in it for..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Just my opinion. Caution with sex and friendship. I totally agree with Eagertongue! xxx ps. What do you want?
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RHP User
14 years ago
If it is there it would have happened already, am I not right? If it is not there why force it - my guess is she wants it to fore a more emotional bond, in which case your friendship will never be the same... but on the other hand you might lose the friendship if you resist... Well, it's a hard place on one side and rock on the other :-) The best is to have a good long discussion about it - maybe in a spa, and things might just get sorted the natural way...
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RHP User
14 years ago
I doubt its worth risking an existing friendship just for sex. On the other hand growing into a sexual relationship may well end up as sex friends. And thats the place to have FWB. Or even just choose to contact each other when the needs (social & sexual) arise. No experience just thoughts PS: Quite different to LAT = Living Apart but Together LATs are exclusive
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RHP User
14 years ago
from Fionabee (I dont think that there can ever be true and deep friendship between a man and a woman until the sex question has been answered anyway)I agree wholeheartedly.I have been friends with a man for over 30 years since we were just past toddler stage. Very sexually attracted to one another when teenagers, lost contact for many years and then became familiar with each other again through his mother (who was my parents best friend) finding me on good old facebook. Even now we have the sexual attraction yet we have been there only once and it was great. To the point that the actual act itself was very emotional. But we won't again. The attraction is still very much there but our fondness for each other I think means a lot more to us than anything. I stay at his place often, in the same bed but only cuddle and feel our affection for one another. That is enough for us. (though his mother recently expressed her disappointment that I am beginning to be seriously involved with a man that isn't her son, and it made me think long and hard about the path my life is about to take )Yes I believe that you can have a friend with benefits, but think carefully what you value more. The sex or the person. In saying that, perhaps it could evolve into a whole lot more than either of you realised it could be. Good luck.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Talk with her about it.Be sure she understands you value her friendship.Keep giving her your friendship for her to value.No matter whether you both decide to go ahead or not, these are the most important things:Communication, communication, communication!Hope you have fun, you lucky man! :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
good question blackstilletoes the friends with benefits route is really tempting but id hate to lose this friendship over sex as a possible relationship aint on my to do list for the present
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RHP User
14 years ago
either way they eventually become 'not friends' or the imagined 'benefits' end up being too dramatic to maintain. go with your gut, but be aware either way, everything will change.
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RHP User
14 years ago
hi ,im pinky ,,,,,,,i was in a fwb relationship with a single lady ,,,,,,,,,but eventually she wanted more ,,,,,,which i agreed too ,,,,,,,,,,,,the sex was fantastic as we both bi ,,,,but as anything intimate goes it eventually becomes love ,,,,,,,,,unfortunaitly my partner passed away unexpectantly ,,,her family walked away ,and i had to claim her body and bury her ,,,,only have the great memories now ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,moral of the story ,,,,,,,,,,,think long and hard ,because your treading unchartered waters ,,,,make the rules before you get started ,,,,,,,and if theres any doubts at all ,,,,,dont go there ,,,,,,,
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RHP User
14 years ago
so far so good with me. Cant remember how it happened, but one of my best friends and i ended fucking, and have continued on and off for the past two years. Still remain the best of friends, we can go months with out sex then get right back into it again. I know once the sex is over i still have a best friend. I think its the people involved that can mess the relationship up. get to involved or start getting feelings for the other person. Just watch out for that and you can have loads of fun ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
from Fionabee (I dont think that there can ever be true and deep friendship between a man and a woman until the sex question has been answered anyway) I'll agree with that as well, some of my closest female friends are x lovers, and once the sex has run it's cause I have found that there's a new intimacy/understanding that was never possible before.. But it docent always work, it can just as easily destroy a relationship. I'd advise you talk to her about your fears, if your both on the same page and can deal maturely with jealousy when you move on to new partners then go for it... The benefits to the relationship can be extraordinary ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
we have an agreement ... its just sex no feeling .. we both agree an if any feelings come into it we call it off
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RHP User
14 years ago
only problem with friends with benefits is someone always ending up feeling more or wanting more ..set rules and stick to them from the start. then you can either remain friends after the sex or you will rock many a bed, bench or wherever it takes place for many a year Andy
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'GargoylesUntd_FC'hi ,im pinky ,,,,,,,i was in a fwb relationship with a single lady ,,,,,,,,,but eventually she wanted more ,,,,,,which i agreed too ,,,,,,,,,,,,the sex was fantastic as we both bi ,,,,but as anything intimate goes it eventually becomes love ,,,,,,,,,unfortunaitly my partner passed away unexpectantly ,,,her family walked away ,and i had to claim her body and bury her ,,,,only have the great memories now ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,moral of the story ,,,,,,,,,,,think long and hard ,because your treading unchartered waters ,,,,make the rules before you get started ,,,,,,,and if theres any doubts at all ,,,,,dont go there ,,,,,,, she will be missed very much hun ... miss her heaps xxxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
The best friend hubby and I ever had became our sex buddy because her hubby was neglectful and abusive. She divorced him and continued to play with us but not as much as she was often out dating. Eventually, she met a very nice man, the kind of man she deserved. He was not a player so they became a commited couple. We lost our threesome third but still maintain our close friendship. She is a wonderful person and we would never sacrifice her friendship.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I know with me if i'm attracted to a man emotionally.. i cant just be a friend with benefits... my feelings get involved lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
Exciting, secretive and convenient when new. Lacking commitment. You may turn up smelling of another woman...or she another man. Shallow in the end.
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