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RHP

RHP User

M63 F65

for couples

May 09 2011

saying no.... how do we say no so it stays no? how do we say no without the other wishing to argue the point? we are approached daily by guys, who fall outside of what we feel comfortable with.... be they married, or smokers or just younger that 35 or so. if we, as adults feel they dont suit our desires, how is it that these guys wont accept that and even become rude and agressive....if we say 'no thanks, we dont think you are what we seek, but good luck tho' ....how is this an invitation to an argument?

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    We all face this problem. It seems that a simple "no" does not surfice on many occassions. I tend to say thankyou but no thanks very politely and then ignore them. Unfortunately I like to answer all my messages and flirts and if they persist then I block them. I dont think I have blocked anyone on RHP yet. Maybe my language gets a little colourful after the first three or four messages dont do it.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    That might cull the your list of unsuitable applicants.In our two years on here I have to say have only ever recieved two messages that were somewhat aggressive in their approach. Simple thing was say thanks but NO Thanks and blocked them. Since we dont advertise the fact we get very few men that leave us messages. I think couples that say "Single men do not message we will find you!" have it right. I tend to do the same thing but dont even say that.Problem solved.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I guess its the same across the board MikeandShel. Even as a single I get them either arguing the point or try to convince me that Im missing out on the best thing ever why dont they even try to understand that you know exactly the type or things that turn you on, we didn't get this far in life without learning a thing or two about our preferences Lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    pretty sure you made the right decision if they get agro when you say no on here. hate to think how a no would translate in real life.i don't have that problem, but if i did then blocking them asap would be my move.i cant see the point of continuing to try once you get knocked back, maybe the approach has worked for them before.i just got a no thanks, plus the added insult of being told i'm too small to satisfy them, to me its more bother than it worth to even acknowledge them with a comeback let alone try and convince them otherwise.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Say no and if they come back dont say anything

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Quoting 'ballinacpl' Say no and if they come back dont say anything which is our end play anyway. or block them completely. some of the more persistent tho get out of hand..........

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' We all face this problem. It seems that a simple "no" does not surfice on many occassions. I tend to say thankyou but no thanks very politely and then ignore them. Unfortunately I like to answer all my messages and flirts and if they persist then I block them. I dont think I have blocked anyone on RHP yet. Maybe my language gets a little colourful after the first three or four messages dont do it.I agree totally. We say no but then we get abused and harrassed. We set out in our profile what we are looking for but still the horny 90 year old still thinks he can compete with the 35 - 45 year old we seek

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    In this lifestyle No means No simple as that...dont answer and block them, then no more hassles..simple stuff.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    thanks all... we kinda thought we were on the right track.... its simple........from now we block and its over......

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Quoting 'Saturn65'That might cull the your list of unsuitable applicants.In our two years on here I have to say have only ever recieved two messages that were somewhat aggressive in their approach. Simple thing was say thanks but NO Thanks and blocked them. Since we dont advertise the fact we get very few men that leave us messages. I think couples that say "Single men do not message we will find you!" have it right. I tend to do the same thing but dont even say that.Problem solved. Have tried all of that...I dont advertise for couples - still get messages....I have in the past had a list of dont bother if...type things - still got messages....currently have dont bother if I dont know you - still get messages...used to be polite in my response but dont bother with that anymore (being polite that is they still get a response just not a very nice one) - I do give fair warning that if you contact me and I dont know you already then you wont like my response and still people get upset with my response to them...oh well...if they persist I block them other wise I just enjoy messing with their minds... . Kisses Focus

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I guess we have just been really lucky then that we get respectful messages, no matter if they fall out of our criteria. I find it no biggie to say "thanks but no thanks" . We are not like some in here that say they get messages galore so that might be it.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I am not in anyway saying I get a deluge of messages (not anymore anyway..it seems that some people can actually read)...just saying that it doesnt matter what you put on your profile...doesnt matter what your criteria is...some people are just going to ignore that and send you a message anyway...and I still say thanks but no thanks - just not nearly as polite as I used to...hahahaha . Kisses Focus

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I really cannot understand why this happens... Red light means stop...Green light means go.....its simple!! Another example of etiquette out the window....just block and ignore...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    We are constantly hit up by single guys and my boyfriend just blocks them all. They are warned... it says we will do that I they contact us. But do they bother to read our profile...NO!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Know it only too well... Gets back to the image these guys have of themselves. When you dent their ego it spins them out that much they feel they have the right to try to get you to see them as they do ? What part of no thank you dont they understand. ? I agree, just ignore them or if they become too much, block them.. pity it has to be that way.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    we took a soft line with a couple of guys from this site, that both flooded us with unwanted and uninvited attention.... something like 40 flirts and 2 dozen messages, and even friend requests after we had said no..(we said no consistently right from the first contact)....mainly because they both seemed confused and lost.... we've since learned, in spite of other peoples defense of these 2, that we were actually being stalked and harassed by both of them......so much for them being innocents.... and we now regret not taking firmer and more decisive action right from the get-go. ........

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