M59
falling hard
November 03 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Even though I know it could never be what I'd like it to be.
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ma2518
13 years ago
so what did you do
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RHP User
13 years ago
Oh yeah, all the time. Over the years I've learnt to just try to enjoy the feelings without getting to caught up in the idea of outcomes. Oh and also how important it is not to violate the terms of the AVO, that can be a real kicker.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Once or twice...You cant help the feelings you sometimes get after meeting and being with someone.Unfortunately......they don't always share your level of interest.You learn to deal with it......and move on.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yep, been there, done that more than once. Every time it happens I tell myself, never again! Til the next time It happens. What I don't like is when they make you think you have a tiny chance, then crap all over you(not literally) lmfao. That's the worst
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes, I know how that feels too but when you meet someone who is everything you are looking for, you are happy, even though you know it may never be. Honestly, I would rather follow my heart and feelings with that someone special than not and never know what it could be like.
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RHP User
13 years ago
when he/she is just not that interested in you(just for sex though)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Cos that would be awkward wouldnt it
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'ma2518'so what did you do We both know it can't be more than what it is already is and just enjoy and appreciate the times we have.
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RHP User
13 years ago
A cloning machine, so I can clone myself for those with the same issue as you OP.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011'A cloning machine, so I can clone myself for those with the same issue as you OP. Do you really think the world is ready for more than one of you?
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am hardtruckin's first attempt at cloning,as you can see he needs to do a little more work on itx R
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RHP User
13 years ago
Here I come.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011'Here I come. brace youself!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Damn stiff keys on the keyboard. That should be "Brace yourself"
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RHP User
13 years ago
Nahhh I think I was successful with you :p
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RHP User
13 years ago
.... but I realised that I had developed some feelings for one of my long term buddies, after a bit of a d & m a few months ago where he told me that he had feelings for me. The sex before the talk was pretty good, but the sex after was even better. ;) Will we ever be anything more than fwbs? Probably not, as while he says that he's okay with me having sex with other guys, he has shown signs of jealousy. So now I tend not to reveal as much to him.
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RHP User
13 years ago
"Falling" for someone then I assume means lust and this can be dealt with. You can not fall for someone with out propinquity therefore you allow yourself the luxury of falling for them. If the chances of them ever being with you are slim to none then move on...do not spend the time and place with them, do not give them head space and then you can not fall for them. How simple is that?
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RHP User
13 years ago
to know that although "we" all say - "ahh I am just looking for some fun" - every now and then our humanity surfaces and we let our guard down. It happens even when you know is not good for you. What to do you ask - I'd say,do what you think will make you feel better, and gives you strength to go on. Loving someone is such a wonderful experience, even when the result is not the one we may have hoped for.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Freya13' I am hardtruckin's first attempt at cloning,as you can see he needs to do a little more work on itx R I think HT is pretty cool, so I guess that explains why I always thought you were equally cool, Freya. Love it!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ma Its a bumma n it hurts but its part of what make life exciting interesting and fun , chin up be thankfull for the good times !!!! xoxoxoxox
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RHP User
13 years ago
But Im a coward and for self preservation, I tend to move away until I can get my feelings in check. Once I've had a handle on my feelings, I'd go back for more fun (or punishment ). If I can't get hold of the emotions, then I don't go back.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Once I know something can't be achieved I give up. If I know it's possible though I will make it possible an do everything I can to get what I want MrsSplicey
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yeah I have fallen for someone that I couldn't have...told her the minute I felt feelings for her to scram. Better to face the anxiety sooner rather than later. Don't try to be her friend, you'll only do your head in over and over from the continuous rejection. Remember it for what it was and go find another :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
We always want what we cant have... But you never know until you try and get it
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RHP User
13 years ago
In lust? Yeah baby it's great. A huge buzz. Lust is the sparkles that make life sizzle..In love? I don't think you can. I don't believe in unrequited love. I think for it to be love, it has to be a two way thing. Weather or not they are going to be your partner, falling in love with someone is fine. Which sort of deals with the "shouldn't of" part of the question. Love is the source of lifes warmth.When I was younger I'd often get the two confused. Which hurt. When you sort them out, there is never any pain. They are both winning situations.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I recently met somebody after making a concerted effort not to go from one relationship to the next. Decided to focus on my career as that was the cruncher in ending each long term or short term relationship I have ever had. Turns out he led me on for many months - oh what a sweet talker he is/ was. I don't believe in forever as I cannot guarantee forever (don't get me started on explaining it). I love, admire, respect and demand honesty... Finally told me he could never just have one woman and if I was interested in an open relationship, then I would be his ideal woman??? He told me I was everything he had ever wanted in a woman lol actions speak louder than words boys/ men :). Silly me to believe such rot after 4 years of being out of the dating scene. I don't fall easily, I just think this one played the right game after such a long time out of the scene and I just wanted to believe it was real??? Each to their own and don't deny yourself the feelings out of insecurities or what if's, because it feels great, even if there is disappointment in the end :). Anyway, time to focus back on the career :)
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ma2518
13 years ago
but when do you know the difference between i am in love with you and i love you
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ma2518
13 years ago
but when do you know
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RHP User
13 years ago
too me love is a combo of pure admiration and respect for someone with a bit of lust thrown in...yeah i think i could do that...i dont believe in romantic love so i think im safe there :)
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ma2518
13 years ago
Brazilian throw another spanner into the works Quoting 'Brazilian_girl' too me love is a combo of pure admiration and respect for someone with a bit of lust thrown in...yeah i think i could do that...i dont believe in romantic love so i think im safe there :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
im sorry, i guess ive just never experienced romantic love.. :(
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RHP User
13 years ago
I keep my emotions in check normally, i keep very guarded...If I feel that I am beginning to like them "too much" , I just remind myself all the nice romantic things said to woo me, is also probably being said to atleast 2 or 3 other women too, so its not really that special. Also I remind myself as well that they are sleeping with other people too and that usually keeps it all in perspective for me. Probably a bit harsh but its how I keep things real.......
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RHP User
13 years ago
With all my might Im saying to myself theres nothing but friendly banter. But when I think about how she picks food off my plate and eats it in front of everyone at the mess and touches my leg at the morning meetings and whispers things that make me laugh, little thoughts start saying "Hey Sweetie, I think this girl likes you" No, Its just my imagination, surely Ive locked my ability to love again way down in that dungeon somewhere.
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RHP User
13 years ago
u are a wise woman Cassy ;))
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ontheflipside
13 years ago
This is the exact problem I'm currently experiencing at the moment. Was seeing someone seriously for 5 months, didn't realise at the time but since then I realized I fell hard for her. She wanted to do the friends thing, but it's not helping me at all and I've only seen her the once since the breakup. I keep putting it off not knowing how or what to say to her. Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' Don't try to be her friend, you'll only do your head in over and over from the continuous rejection. Remember it for what it was and go find another :)
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ma2518
13 years ago
cassyQuoting 'Cassy_74' I keep my emotions in check normally, i keep very guarded...If I feel that I am beginning to like them "too much" , I just remind myself all the nice romantic things said to woo me, is also probably being said to atleast 2 or 3 other women too, so its not really that special. Also I remind myself as well that they are sleeping with other people too and that usually keeps it all in perspective for me. Probably a bit harsh but its how I keep things real....... this post was from a male btw
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RHP User
13 years ago
than never to have loved and screwed at all. In regards to inviting other people into a relationship, I find it helps to think that it is like when someone has an affair, its fantastic because you are in the moment, no worries, just a great time. Take that person, insert them into your 'real life' and that brings things into perspective pretty quickly... 4 kids, housework, work, bills.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Its not impossible to love again. I say just go with it. All the while being more "aware" of how the relationship develops. My marriage completely destroyed me and I managed to fall in love again. While we're not together anymore it still showed me what's possible. And I will always love her for making me open my eyes. (confessions of a hopeless romantic pt 1) lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have been headover heels in love with a great male friend of mine who ive known for the best part of 12 years. I never had the courage to tell him when i was younger then i met my ex had a couple of kids he cheated after 9 years so i kicked him out. Over the years i kept in contact with this guy even today we are still great friends.But my problem is i did actually put myself out there and told him how i felt but got the reply i love you as a friend but thats it which is cool i love him to death as a friend BUT everytime i drink i drunk text him and wake up the next day worse for wear and look at my phone and feel even worse ive appologised way to many times to count lucky his a great sport and just laughs at me when i say sorry lol Maybe ill turn him 1 day
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RHP User
13 years ago
Have a chat with him when you're sober and say hey mate I just gotta get it outta my system, or do you want dirty/flirty texts for the rest of your life? Then stir him up saying he just wants the attention and is just playing hard to get lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
no i no my limitations so i dont bight of more then i can chew , ive had my heart shattered though different matter though
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't fall easily and for me seperating sex and emotion is very easy. It probably also helps that I have more platonic male friends than female so I'm used to relating to both just as easily. This year though I've had to cut two fbs for trying to turn our fun times into more than they were. I'm constantly hearing from my male friends that it's always women falling hard and wanting a relationship, but men are just as bad.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I had been emailing a guy from the eastern states for 4 months. We were so in tune with each other is was awesome. Finally on a recent trip to Sydney we decided to meet. Once face to face we realised that the feelings that we had online, were the same in reality. A deep connection and the sad thing was that because we were falling for each other we couldnt take it any further. Because being FWB was never going to work beauase we felt more.I felt devistated to say the least and now not emailing since my return because its heart wrenching. As they say nothing ventured nothing gained. You just dont know when a special man is going to come into your life. I'm looking to share part of my life but not ready for the whole introduce you to my family and kids thing.So you just got to stay true to how u feel and get out there and have some fun and emotions are part n parcel of sex.
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Letzgetwild
13 years ago
Yes absolutely....you just cant help but start to care for someone that you share yourself with so intimately! We are only human after all. Why not love, its the best feeling in the world. I have learn to compartmentalise those feelings and only act on them when I am with that special someone. Jem x
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RHP User
13 years ago
The head says no, but the heart says yes. Which to follow? With great highs come great lows. So hard to stay away, even though you get treated like crap most of the time. But when they are young, beautiful & great in bed (especially after being in a loveless marriage for many years), it's so hard to end it, even though you know you should & it will end badly anyway. It scars a lot, but you must look forward not back. So for now on, a fuck buddy is ideal & if you click with that person emotionally as well, then who knows. I try not to fall in love, but when I do, I fall hard - and usually with someone I know it wont last with. I somehow like women with an edge, but that edge usually cuts me. Which is why I joined RHP - to meet some horny people just like me. Pleasure seekers.
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RHP User
13 years ago
And yes Once with a married man, but then perhaps I fell for him because he was married. And no chance of commitment from me. I do get attracted to very few people on an emotional scale, but now and again, and its rare a man will start my heart fluttering. But I am wise enough to keep clear of the flames. Rhp is not the place to put your heart on the BBQ. Lusting after someone you cant have is just a way to get your senses hightened.That person becomes your cocain
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RHP User
13 years ago
After recently coming out of a two year relationship of sorts and a first for everything it is really hard to let go of them when you have fallen head over heels for them. Even when you knew that the chances for a long term relationship were slim we built one of the best friendships ive ever had. Maybe i was running on false hope and lust and not love but when i found out she was seeing another guy it broke me. She basically broke it off with me by saying she was already with another guy. We have been through our ups and hard downs, although i stuck by her side no matter what. I know its natural to feel this way i just wished it hadnt ended the way it did, because now i feel like the last year of my life has been a pretence of her actually loving me and I can not stand the thought of her even after weeks of seperating her from my life. Sometimes i wish i never met her just so i didnt have to go through this pain but life is life. Its also made me think alot more over future relationships and not being able to fall for someone quite so easily. - Love is hope and fear. I just need to stop fearing now and have a bit more hope.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'ma2518' cassy Quoting 'Cassy_74' I keep my emotions in check normally, i keep very guarded...If I feel that I am beginning to like them "too much" , I just remind myself all the nice romantic things said to woo me, is also probably being said to atleast 2 or 3 other women too, so its not really that special. Also I remind myself as well that they are sleeping with other people too and that usually keeps it all in perspective for me. Probably a bit harsh but its how I keep things real....... this post was from a male btw A man can surely think the same way to protect himself cant he??
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'vineripped1' We always want what we cant have... But you never know until you try and get it Quoting 'vineripped1' We always want what we cant have... But you never know until you try and get it
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'wiccan_beltane'Damn stiff keys on the keyboard. That should be "Brace yourself" I bet there is a few other things stiff on this site! LOL Or are you sure that there isnt someething gungeing up your keyboard?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'dirtydave660' Quoting 'wiccan_beltane'Damn stiff keys on the keyboard. That should be "Brace yourself" I bet there is a few other things stiff on this site! LOL Or are you sure that there isnt someething gungeing up your keyboard? There are definitely plenty of stiff things on this site. And my typos have nothing at all to do with my long nails. They do not get in the way of my typing on a laptop (well.....that's my story and I'm sticking to it)
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RHP User
13 years ago
it's not the unavailable that we fall for,it's the seemngly available, only to find that emotionally they are not. Lovely analogy Tuscan,the Barbeque of the Heart,....x R
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'vineripped1' We always want what we cant have... But you never know until you try and get it i would of gone with the Stones "can't always get what you want. but if you try some times, you might get what you need "
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RHP User
13 years ago
like hell...
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RHP User
13 years ago
saying goodby to someone who is more of a soul mate than anything you have ever had is not some thing i would want to do againbut we can't control our emotions as well as we would like when that special person is looking at you
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RHP User
13 years ago
yep... in my situations i always try be th gentleman and date a woman for a long time then whenever i open my heart she only wants to be ''just friends''. ouch... this tends to happen repeatedly. so i know im not good for advise about what to do. but i do hope you find someone who apprciates you as much as you do them.
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