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wingman2014

wingman2014

M61

coitus injurious

April 12 2013

Hi guys, just reminiscing about days gone by and some memorable playtime incidents. One that always brings a smile to my face occurred in my mid twenties .My room mate had picked up a curvy young lady and brought her back to his room for a bit of fun. I was woken from my sleep by the the shrill of both them screaming in agony. I burst through the door to the sight of them naked , she was jumping up and down like a kangaroo holding her arse in her hands while he was rolling around on the floor in a foetal position clutching at his old fella , tears streaming down his face. What had happened is that he was pounding her doggy style and in the heat of battle had slipped out on the backstroke and missed the bullseye on re-entry. causing him to drive his cock at full force into her buttock, to quote maxwell Smart...he missed it by ...that much. Soon after ,our other room mate Lance (a med student) entered the room to survey the damage. After laughing histerically for what seemed like ages , we could see that she had deep bruising the size of a fifty cent piece that was welling up so much it was beginning to look like a third nipple. He had a massive blackening lump on the underside of the middle of his tool. He was clearly panicked and pleaded with lance to do something to treat the injury. Lance looked at me and gave me a wink then told him with a straight face "mate,you've broken your dick" and that if we are going to save the organ we must strap it to some paddle pop sticks as a temporary splint until we can get a plaster cast on it. The look on his face was pricelesss. My question is , what crazy sex injuries have you seen or experienced ?

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Comments

  • Paradisepair

    Paradisepair

    13 years ago

    I saw a piece about it once. All I can say is ow!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Very funny story there. unfortunately, or fortunately the only injuries I can report are carpet burns. :-)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Lmfao sorry mate I got nothing but laughter great post mate :)- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    According to Professor WikiPenile fracture is rupture of one or both of the tunica albuginea, the fibrous coverings that envelop the penis's corpora cavernosa. It is caused by rapid blunt force to an erect penis, usually during vaginal intercourse or aggressive masturbationI smiled at 'aggressive masturbation'.This has been very educative.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    My girlfiend was having an affair with a married guy and he did that is dick went black so he told his wife that while away, he was a pilot that he had borrowed a push bike from the hotel and had a misshap

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I lost my virginity to a bicycle seat

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Carpet burn is still healing...

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Not to sound insensitive to someone's pain but I was laughing so hard at your post. That made my Saturday and is a great way to start the weekend. Cheers mate.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I was having sex as a teen with my b/f when I felt an intense pain like a knife being plunged into me. One side of my vulva was bright red and the size of a golf ball. I was so terrified I ran upstairs and had to show Mum AND Dad. Apparently I burst a blood vessell. It was the scariest thing. Thankfully it has never happened again.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'MissKay'I was having sex as a teen with my b/f when I felt an intense pain like a knife being plunged into me. One side of my vulva was bright red and the size of a golf ball. I was so terrified I ran upstairs and had to show Mum AND Dad. Telling BOTH your parents must have caused some emotional damage too.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    What for them or for me?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I meant for you. I had not even considered your poor mum and dad!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    It was my step dad actually who had sound medical knowledge. They were both really cool parents, despite humiliating me by being nudists. I was so freaked out I didn't care. I thought I needed an ambulance!!! (Teenage drama queen)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    was in the mens toilet having a pee when this big black guy walks in and woops his dick out beside him.. The white guy just stares and the black guy says ' what wrong' hav'nt you seen a black dick before.? White guys says yes' but not that big, adding he would do anything to get a dick just as big as his.. Black guy says, well ' you can ? its not that hard.. All you gotta do is hang a brick from it for 2 weeks and bingo, your dick will be just like mine.. Excellent ' Excited, he races home and started his daily routine .After 2 weeks he meets up with the black guy again who asks how things are going .. Well umm ' not exactly the same , but it did go black... ?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    When you have a bulging disc ...- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    ex fb of mine told me a story about one of his friends, who was having sex with his girlfriend in the shower. The shower had a glass screen, they were leaning on it and it shattered. The guy ended up with a serious, deep laceration in his arm that needed a buttload of stitches, and I think from memory he got some nerve damage to go along with it.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    When we were just getting to know each other I Mr RD, decided to massage Mrs RD with a mango seed and all was going really well until I got to her pussy. Then all of a sudden the mango seed; well just disappeared one minute it was in my hand and then it was nowhere to be seen!!!! Now a mango seed is very slippery and so is the inside of a pussy; not a good combination!! Trying to fish it out, took a while and the thought of pitching up at emergency was a real mood dampener. Luckily emergency department was avoided but so was the mood. Haha During our various RDP encounters, Mrs RD, has sensitive Celtic skin and has suffered server but dare I say; very well deserved pash rash that lasted a few days and was rather obvious and we do work with people in hospitality Lol. We have both just recovered from multiple carpet burns, that were very well worth it. Finally whilst in the middle of what should have been a sexathon with another couple, the lady put on a strap on and Mrs RD was eager to receive but as soon as it the dildo was rammed home Mrs RD was it lots of pain, her pussy was on fire and she ran to the shower. Apparently the dildo had been washed in disinfectant and (by mistake was not rinsed off) No lasting issue but it did stop the play L All in the fun, we have had loads of great times lol Mr RD

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Sex one night and got latex burn

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Happened in early twenties in a sexathon. Too crazy to lube up and didn't really notice the pain when it happened. Halfway through fucking she suddenly felt quite wet and warm.I pulled out and there was blood everywhere, she flipped out thinking it was her then we figured out it was me. I was try to analyse the issue and she FLIPPED out scared that she had ruined my cock. So I was trying to fix a bleeding dick and calm down a hysterical girl at the same time. Young love

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    But I broke my tongue on a girl once. I didn't have a lot of experience and I don't think she did either, tried to ride it like a cock while I did my best to extend it as far as I could... and tore the frenulum ( that little bit of skin that joins your tongue to your mouth underneath). It hurt like a bitch the next day and I couldn't eat properly for a few more days. I've also woken up with a huge lump on the back of my head and a matching bruise near my tailbone from getting pounded up against a wall, various pulled muscles and a rather painful case of 'tennis elbow' from working too hard on my 'serve'

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    ... Sprained jaw count?

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Not with you it dont... lol... hows it hangin babe... Jay

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Shhhhhh...... ;-)

    reply

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