F38
can someone please define BDSM
August 07 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
BDSM is a compound acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&s, D/s, or Ds), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM).
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RHP User
16 years ago
haha I know the meaning of it but how does it all work..like with the whole pain thing and ther is supposed 2 be a rlly strong connection between the 2 ppl that do it...ever dabbled in2 it? im verryyy curiouss...lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
The Fetish Manor in Leederville have intoductory classes which sound like fun. Singles and Couples are both welcome.. I've had a lookand yeah it was great fun...
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RHP User
16 years ago
BDSM is a topic that is many and varied.....it might involve some simple rough play or kinky fun when you are having sex (or it may not involve sex at all in some cases) and can be as complicated and diverse as a 24/7 Master/slave arrangement where one person is completely and utterly happy to be the submissve partner and one is in heaven as the Dominant partner.... Furthermore BDSM participants are not neccessarily fully one way or the other (someone can be a "switch" and go from Dom to sub and back again depending on their mood or partner)... It is VERY difficult to definein such a short space of time here....what I can say is that I find it the most beautiful and complete form of love and desire....to trust someone enough to give yourself completely and truly as in a submissive or to Dominate someone knowing that they want to be "taken" more than anything.... Many other will come to this post and provide different perspectives but I see BDSM as an integral part of my sexuality (as a Dom) and I find the wonderfiul thing about it is that you can play at it lightly or enter it as deeply as you desire.... My philosophy is that there are three components (these are my thoughts only): Mentor - where one acts in the role of experienced provider of information to someone who may be inexperienced in the ways of this as a sexuality or a lifestyle and learns form their mentor and can ask questions...dip their toe in the water so to speak with someone that they trust with their feelings....this is unlikely to be sexual apart from discussion. Teacher - where the mentor role becomes physical because of a desire by both to interact on a sexual level. As the name suggests the Teacher gives the student experiences that are new, often taking the student to new levels of sexual awareness and tests boundaries and concepts and themes. Master - finally if the two are compatible sexually and there is a high level of trust and understanding, the roles may deepen into one of Master/slave whereby the Teacher "collars" (this may be an actual collaring or only figuratively) the slave and there is a mutual agreement that the more submissive person gives themselves over to the care of the Master. These relationships may occur as an exclusive arrangement or may simply form a sexual arrangement between understanding people. I know of collared slaves who enjoy happy releationships/marriages with thse other than their Masters. Please note that I have sumarised my thoughts and I am sure that in my experience (about 5 years as an active Dom/Mentor/Teacher and Master) there is much I have yet to learn....indeed I contiinue to explore.....as I said, done with two open minded people it is a wonderful and beautiful way to experience the joys and boundaries of one's sexuality.... A word of warning....ask questions, be sure whom you are dealing with and their level of experience as there are (as in all walks of life) those who would seek control in a way that is not undesirable.... I have a mantra that I live by - if it' not sexy and it's not fun - it's not happening ! Hopefully I have given you a small insight into the sexy world of BDSM.....here's a clue (it's just a clue not gospel lol)....if you like having your hair pulled when you are having sex, you may lean to submissiveness.....if you like pulling hair when you fuck then you may well have Dominant tendancies....if you like both then you are lkely to be switch.... Dog.
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RHP User
16 years ago
BadBadDog....very well put!!Until recently....I had thought I was predominantly sub....but now that Ive found one that wants me to Domme him.....my dominant side is coming out.I still like to sub....and he is switch also.....so this could be the beginning of something beautiful.The most important thing Ive found is TRUST. Guys learn that I have subbed and immediately think they can tell me what to do. Bah bow...doesnt work that way.I have to decide to submit...you cant make me unless I decide you can.Just my opinion....BJxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Bad Doggy wanna pull my pony tails teehee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......xx cheeky Missy ... so spank me!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Very much so Miss BJ.....successful BDSM play is very much about trust.....with the fluid nature of relationships these days we need to be confident that the play we undertake is with someone who understands how to hit those hot buttons and open new worlds...that's why I undertake a Mentoring role first up....this might take a few days or a few months or may even only EVER be Mentoring role...the trust has to work both ways too ! With breath play, corporal punishment (spanking, slapping, strapping etc) and sexual pain play for example....we all need to be sure that the person(s) we are playing with knows what they are doing...and is cool, calm and collected. As you know Miss BJ when the trust is there and the play is good it's fireworks all round and the sky is the limit ! LOL Dog.
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RHP User
16 years ago
miss honey.....you have been a very naughty girl....go straight to My room !! lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks BadBadDog for clearing that up...very succintly explained and very easy to understandJose
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RHP User
16 years ago
Male hereBad dog has put it very well.We enjoy more BD play than SM (Although a nice well placed spank every now and then does make bits tingle)She is very sub while i tend to fill the role of dom with gleeHotaz- as people have mentioned, trust is the key, and also have a safety word, something random lik e" peaches".if things get out of hand, the safety word means STOP RIGHT NOW! Onceyou have a pertner who is i tune, it can be fun to push the boundries, especially with blindfolds and being tied up, these really heighten the senses.good luck and above all have fun
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi just joined here. Yes, the female side of this partnership has been involved in bdsm. Bad told it well. But you really need to trust the person you are with, not just be infatuated. There are different levels of bdsm and you need to decide what suits you. If you have any questions I would be glad to answer from a submissive point of view.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I relate to mild bondage and discipline. One of my earliest fantasies was the loss of control by being a victim of a robbery. Stripped naked I was being tied naked to a beautiful female and locked in a confined closet. The thought of being powerless to control the slowly developing passion between us that could not be hidden was extremely erotic. The reality of being in a hold up once in Sydney was definitely not. But funnily enough I wasn't frightened either. The erotic part of submission for me is the freedom from decision. The freedom from having to take action. The situation develops and the rollercoaster ride to the consequences are out of my control. There is a tinge of fear as to whether trust is justified. But then any time a male offers his manhood for oral sex there is the great trust the partner will be as compassionate with it as he would be. Similarly being the dominator and coaxing a reluctant subject into pleasure is also a fantasy. The feeling of being in complete control of the progression of events and knowing that only when I have had enough will it be over. The thought of arousing another to mindblowing orgasm (as it always is) without their consent is erotic even as it is unethical. But then that is what playacting is all about. Spanking, tickling and restraining. Issuing commands and having them obeyed. Applying the consequences of cooperation or non cooperation. As to delivering significant pain and blurring the pain pleasure barrier - that is not my particular thing but then between aware and consenting adults that is their choice.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thank you roughfukr and Chrisha for bring up a critical element of safe BDSM play... Safe words are also a good way of determining if your prospective partner knows what they are doing and have had experience.... In my experience "traffic lights" work very well......the submissive partner can use "Orange" or "Yellow" to signify that something is too tight or that limits are being reached and thet the Dom shoul back off, give space etc.... "Red" is obvious and simply means "stop" straight away.....the only time a partner has used "red" with me was when she had a cramp !! LOL If gagging, tape over the mouth or (for the rough ones) cock choking are being used....I encourage a firm tap on my thigh as an indicator to back off. Communication before play is paramount.....something that I cover in the Mentor stage (see above). I should also make clear (after re reading my original post on this topic) that my three stages are not neccessarily o be taken as one entity....your Mentor does not neccessarily end up being you Teacher and then your Master....although that is eminently possible....someone entering the lifestyle might end up having one Mentor who becomes thir Teacher and then graduates (for want of a better explanation) to a Master who could be a completely different person....for example. I have Mentored those whom have gone on to meet and play with wonderful Teachers/Masters having had a good grounding (I humbly hope) in what to expect, what to look for and how to handle themselves. Again I can only relate to my experiences in these matters...you are reading my perspectives only....hard players "in the scene" and not on the fringes like I may have varying attitudes. Trust, respect, common sense, safewords or actions and a degree of caution and trusing gut feelings can amount to some pretty remarkable sexual expanding of one's horizons..... Dog.
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RHP User
16 years ago
For people wanting to experiment with the bdsm side of things... remember knowledge is everything... know what you are doing and always remember 3 simple rules... * safe * sane *consensual Read, learn by watching others play and always be in the know ... learning how to read your partners body is also very important.. .. learn how it reacts to different stimulation... watch and understand ... a simple breath over a blindfolded person can do all kinds of things... experiement but do remember your rules.... and ENJOY!
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RHP User
16 years ago
This thread seems to have withered on the vine but great advice muddy.....BDSM is ike anything, different people have different perspectives but the same basic safe rules should apply.... Anyway hun, have not heard from you for ages...trust all is well in your world....I'm still at darkman_comes if you ever want to say hi.... Xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have recently been collared by my Master and am having the best time of my life. Have always wanted to try it and never had the courage to do so. Since I met my Master he has shown me how uninhibited I can be.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Greetings to your Master iamme....and kudos to you both for being adventurous enough to find that which you sought. I trust that you continue to explore, evolve and enjoy ! Dog.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thank you dog, I shall relay the message. I look forward to pushing all my boundaries.
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RHP User
16 years ago
google it
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