bondage and domination

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  are you beginning to peek through the door to the dark side??? (just kidding Mike) . As forum regulars may have gathered by now I am a sub...shock I know but there you are...anyway for me I am a rare one (as our bondage guru would attest) I love pain...and before my inbox gets flooded with wannabe doms etc looking for a sub - I curently have a Master and am not looking for anymore thankyou . The sub side - For me it is a release from the every day control and domination I must exert in the workplace....as we all know for a successful dom/sub relationship to exist there needs to be huge elements of trust and communication...I trust my Master explicitly...I know should I feel uncomfortable about something all I would need to do is use my safe word or action and he would stop...I do this because I enjoy the release it gives me....I love the feeling of power emmanating from him when we indulge in this....how vulnerable yet safe I feel in his control.....thats the best I can come up with . As for pain - well I am a rare one in that I get extremly aroused by pain and humiliation...inflicted upon me in a controlled environment and with the proper after care and this girl gets very very excited....there is little I wouldnt do for my Master especially if there is a nice cane going across my arse, thighs, breasts.....mmmmmm . See what you have done?? bet you would never have thought it Mike - chatting with you and I am all a flutter - excuse me...will come back and continue my train of thought when I have calmed down a little . Kisses Focus

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  DonnaBrett

  15 years ago

  A little spanking or hair pulling is one thing and can be fun..but the full on bondage thing is a whole other animal! We've been to several Hellfire (and similar) nights...taken by friends, (we are always open to new things)but....we find the whole scene rather silly. Seeing people leading others around on leashes for example we just laugh at (on the inside). Then there's the folk who like to be beaten or tortured until they bleed...sorry..just don't get it??? But to each their own..if they are all consenting and are of legal age then who are we to say they shouldn't do it? Just so long as innocents aren't being hurt...you can whip yourselves til your heart's content!!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'DonnaBrett' A little spanking or hair pulling is one thing and can be fun..but the full on bondage thing is a whole other animal! We've been to several Hellfire (and similar) nights...taken by friends, (we are always open to new things)but....we find the whole scene rather silly. Seeing people leading others around on leashes for example we just laugh at (on the inside). Then there's the folk who like to be beaten or tortured until they bleed...sorry..just don't get it??? But to each their own..if they are all consenting and are of legal age then who are we to say they shouldn't do it? Just so long as innocents aren't being hurt...you can whip yourselves til your heart's content!! yea I'm a bit perplexed too...tho did have a friend a number of years back who travelled the nation visiting communities where miners and the likes had set up residence...needless to say she pulled in an absolute motza for what she offered (didnt want gory details so never asked).......we are gentler minded folk than some, and dont really get the appeal, so was a little curious is all....

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I can agree with some of what has already been said and I wouldn't do anything that involved pain. I have recently been with a man that was very masterful and the experience was amazing. I don't think anybody can tell you about it until you try it for yourself with someone that knows and understands what he is doing.LaraXX

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I believe that a lot of the confusion lies in the terms used and it would be much easier to understand if we separated them...bondage, domination and sado-masochism are all very different. What separates them are as clear as the lines of objectifying someone and/or seeking to induce/receive pain (I will leave this one to MT...I don't know it) and seeking to induce sensual eroticism and pleasure. The form that I am familiar with is an ancient art called Kinbaku or more commonly today Shibari. | This is an art...it does not involve "objectifying" your partner in any way nor include pain, degredation, humilation or punishment as such. You can playfully add in something that may resemble "punishment" but it is not anything like things you will find in any of the other disciplines. | Even the intricate weave of the erotic macrame' can be visually stimulating to your partner...imagine watching fine silk ropes being woven into graceful soft strands...perhaps interlinked with a single contrasting colour and as always, a magical key loop or points at which the key can be pulled and the ropes fall away. While the ropes do bind...they are not necessarily tight nor painful, and I would suggest that if done properly at least early on your partner could escape if they really wanted to and therein lies part of the intensity and intimacy. Your partner wants to give themself to you in this way and you want to receive them. The domination...as it were, occurs in the sharing of the minds and both become equally responsible to give, receive and share. | You may also choose other very ancient pleasure devices, such as hand crafted and polished Tonkin cane clamps that are held together by a single strap of leather...the pressure is a result of the fibre movment and using another small leather wrap to carefully roll down the lenght of the cane clamps. You really don't seek to create pain...simply find that line at the point where, if crossed you would fall into the darker side. This is not the object....the object is shared pleasure and mutual intensity. | It would be difficult to explain to you (most likely I can explain nothing...this is really more for anyone else that may read it) how you can restrict some of the availability of the more common 5 senses and heighten the awareness of 7 collectively. A simple example for you...I have sat and simply began to weave the silk ropes and the woman watching rose to such a state of sexual arousal that it took less than a kiss and a very gentle touch to push her over the edge. That is a fact...and that is very incredible as it would only be called foreplay, if that, by most. | If you are interested...there are a number of books published on this art and a great deal is on offer for those that care to make the journey.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I can't do better than what has already been said by Focus, Chilli and Midnight so I don't need to elaborate on the sensual side of why people play bondage and domination type games. I usually refer to it as soft bondage or bedroom BDSM because it is usually done occasionally and kept in the bedroom. Fun games like tying your partner to the bed and making her cum over and over with a hitachi vibrator are fun. Some guys like being tied to the bed, having their cocks sucked and then used as a fuck toy before being allowed to cum. This is the safe side of bondage and most people have done it, will do it or fantasise about it.The dark side is less sexual and more mental. For some, like Focus, it is a release from the responsibility of having to be the one in control. In a submissive state these people can turn off their brain and not have to think about anything except obeying the next command. For others there is an erotic stimulation about being humiliated. This humiliation can take several forms from wearing a collar and leash to being left chained, naked and scrubbing the bathroom floor with their tongue or various forms of verbal abuse.Pain can be a turn on because it means that the submissive is being humiliated or punished. Some people like it because of the endorphine release that comes with receiving pain. The first time my partner flogged me I couldn't speak because I was laughing so much from the endorphine rush. Depending on what type of flogger you use (and how you use it) the sensations can vary from a mild thump to an excruciating rip. Canes go from a mild sting to feeling like a hot branding iron. Paddles are similar but spread the pain over a larger area. I have 101 uses for the humble clothes peg but don't have time to explain it all here. And by the way, pain is only a tiny pufteenth of what domination and submission is all about. It is a mental, rather than physical thing.Speaking personally, domination can be very exhilarating mentally and a massive turn on. If I know the guy I'm dominating is getting off on it then I enjoy what I'm doing. I do have a true sadistic streak that I keep in check for when I deal with the hardcore guys but most guys prefer to play at a basic level. It may surprise some people to know that outside of the dungeon I am not particularly dominant.Fetishes and fetishists have another category all their own. My own fetish is rope. I like the feel of it against my bare skin and the sensuality of being gently bound. My partner and I are learning shibari and one day I hope to be able to suspend someone using rope instead of my usual suspension cuffs and chains. My fetish is rather mild compared to others but since they would take too long to explain I will leave the subject there.Why do we do what we do? You may as well ask why some like strawberry ice cream and some like chocolate. Why do some like Mozart and some like Metallica? Why are some people homosexual and some straight? I think it's something we are born with and for some, until they find the courage to try it, there will always be a curiosity towards it. Here's a suggestion - put on a blindfold and let your partner tie your hands behind your back. Now let them run an ice cube, tongue, feather, silk scarf, lubed finger, piece of fruit, light fingernails over your naked body. Have a safe word that you can say if you feel uncomfortable and want to stop. If you don't like it you don' t have to do it again. If you do like it..............Anyone with any more questions please feel free to message me.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'MistressT' Here's a suggestion - put on a blindfold and let your partner tie your hands behind your back. Now let them run an ice cube, tongue, feather, silk scarf, lubed finger, piece of fruit, light fingernails over your naked body. Have a safe word that you can say if you feel uncomfortable and want to stop. If you don't like it you don' t have to do it again. If you do like it.............. Anyone with any more questions please feel free to message me. thanks MisstressT

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  When are we going to see... | Quoting 'MistressT' Anyone with any more questions please feel free to message me. ...that garter belt with mesh hosiery and stiletto heels? Let me guess...this is part of the evil torture stuff that you do, right? Dammit MT...just remember what happened to Condoleeza Rice when she went over the line. Water boarding is one thing but holding back on this make me.... | ...a minimalist. Come on, ya know ya wanna.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Bondage, discipline and slave.My ex was a sub and wanted me to get into it so as to speak, of course I had to be dom.At first this seemed fascinating although I still don't really understand how anyone can find humiliation a turn on. Getting information on all this was not easy, he took me to meet his previous male master. Some of what he told was interesting as there are so many different types of bondage etc.Then of course the humiliation moved onto something such as sissy (I call it cross dressing) I know to some this is a turn on. For me there are so many different areas on this.But honestly dripping candle wax and whipping someone blind folding them was for me a stupid waste of time. Bondage having control of someone while tying them up and being able to do anything you want to them makes you laugh and at first this all seemed fun.But my experience with my ex he wanted to go further and this all was leading to a very dark area. If ever considering any of this make sure communication is very open at the start. For me this was an experience into a very dark side where you need to have a lot of trust and for some people it is a wonderful experience.Now after trying it give me good normal sex anytime I just really don't get it but I learnt something for some people humiliation is a big turn on.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'nutzey' But my experience with my ex he wanted to go further and this all was leading to a very dark area. If ever considering any of this make sure communication is very open at the start. For me this was an experience into a very dark side where you need to have a lot of trust and for some people it is a wonderful experience.Now after trying it give me good normal sex anytime I just really don't get it but I learnt something for some people humiliation is a big turn on. Main reason for the demise of my last relationship, and we were engaged and everything. Despite his protestations of wanting to please me, it wasn't about that at all. I'm a nurturer in relationships, so the dominant role can fit hand in hand with that, but he wanted to go places I wasn't quite willing to travel (and believe me, I've gone a lot of places), and tried to pass it off as him wanting to please me. What it really was, was him wanting me to please him. That's isn't a D/s dynamic to me.Give me a good old flogging (Mikeandshell - a flogging can actually feel like a massage depending on the implements used and doesn't need to cause any pain whatsoever, it can actually be really nice and relaxing) or a bottom to spank, or some sexy, shiny rubber to play with anyway.For myself, I'm a sexual player, and I'm quite fond of doing horrible things to someone who is really getting off on it. As a top my favourite activites are mainly geared towards getting my partner off (not always about orgasm) and subsequently me getting off as well. Well, except for needle play, I just really like jabbing needles into someone who's all squirmy and getting off on the endorphin rush, same as I like being jabbed myself, because it makes me all squirmy and gives me an endorphin rush. However needle play for me isn't sexual BDSM play, that's something my friends and I will get up to on a lazy Saturday night in for example, and I count that as more of a temporary body modification than anything else.Oh, well, there can be something incredibly hot about having a poor boy restrained, and giving him just the right amounts of pleasure and pain, that he has tears in his eyes and he's begging for mercy, and to show leniency and to then comfort him afterwards...OK yeah, it's completely fucked up and strange, but also very hot. :)

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