M50
Your friends are so vanilla when......
July 25 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
that actually got me thinking...
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RHP User
14 years ago
.... When they won't go to Hellfire with you because it makes them nervous ?! xx Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
"Yeah but those people on Red Hot Pie aren't real though" l I dunno about that, they felt pretty real to me last night!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can't believe you actually get a sexual thrill out of strangling people. That shit's fucked up.
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RHP User
14 years ago
...they won't go to Hellfire with you because they're pyrophobic.
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RHP User
14 years ago
...they won't go to Hellfire with you because they're pyrophobic.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Freely admit to having never owned or operated a vibrator before!? . Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
They make a big production at a dinner party about how they went to a corporate party where there was a domanatrix who spanked them with a whip over their clothes on the same night that I was fully fisting a friend, but obviously couldn't share it...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Look at you very strange when you tell them about how you tied your last partner to the bed and used them for your own sexual pleasure some people have no sense of adventure WTF
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RHP User
14 years ago
They squirm awkwardly when you mention muffy farts.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
They mention to you that they think someone is a swinger..................
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married2aBBW
14 years ago
your friends are so vanilla when .. yo mention somethng you consider rather tame like sex outdoors or going to a nudist beach and they look at you incredibly, like you have sugested something out there like fisting them in front of their parents !
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RHP User
14 years ago
* when they think giving or receiving oral is dirty * the only person they seem to turn to to answer all of their questions is you and then blush at your answers * they ask why you refer to someone as Mistress or Sir and never by their name * their pegs are only used on the clothes line * dont understand when you need to by more cling wrap than a normal household reuires, more cable ties or start drooling as you walk through the door of Bunnings . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
don't understand that eating a banana turns me on.dont understand that a low cut top draws my eyes and I must fight the urge not to stare.think sex means love.dont know what breath play is.have never been in a sex store.tell me about their greatest sex session that only includes a him and her. "What about the others????"think anal sex is a sin.blush.tell you to be quiet during sex.think its kinky to be fucked doggy style..shaven pubic hair make you look like a child.ask you to get condoms as they are to ashamed to get them them selves. ( Really happened.. )need to be told why a woman in a hetro relationship would want a strap on.need to be told why condoms come in flavors. LOLFun thread..
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RHP User
14 years ago
they say they 'quite like doing oral' but whey you're talking about how long it lasts they say they do it for 'a good couple of minutes'they're astounded to see a lady in her 50's buying a dildo at Sexpothey don't understand why you'd buy killer heels that aren't for outside the bedroomthey want to know why you have so much rope since you don't like camping or boatingthey think CBT means cognitive behavioural therapy
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RHP User
14 years ago
You know you'd need to dope them up on valium before you could show them your dirty texts. . They think pushing out a creampie is something you suffer on the toilet with after visiting a dodgy bakery !!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sleeping with more than one person in a single week is frowned upon.Being a member of rhp gets you ostracised from your friends. :(
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RHP User
14 years ago
Her husband had a sore rib so they couldnt have sex and you suggest "on top" they both say whats on top? Hahahah
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RHP User
14 years ago
They have a sick, co-dependent friends-with-benefits relationship with your housemate but are scandalised that YOU are having an MMF.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You tell her not to fuss over the tiny cobweb she spots in your kitchen because your boyfriend won't see it if he's tied up in your bedroom all weekend ... and she thinks you're kidding.
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RHP User
14 years ago
The only way that you would ever think about licking them if is they were covered in hot fudge.... | ...and you had to explain why.
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RHP User
14 years ago
lmfao... it can be worse... one of my best mates is waiting for the Rapture..... or maybe I have it wrong and he is talking about a raptor? Anyway... he believes in Fred Flintstone... i.e. men and dinosaurs walking the earth together.... so explaining "Im going to Hellfire... no really I am" just about flips his wig.HUgsStalky Quoting '0_DarkHorse_0' ...they won't go to Hellfire with you because they're pyrophobic.
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married2aBBW
14 years ago
CBT to me used to stand for Cum Blood Tits, i used to go to Deviate and Abyss amongst other Goth/Alt night clubs and there was a lady there that always wore the best outfits - nuns nurses brides {white black red and purple wdding dresses she had !!} and they were all low cut showing her awesome cleavage and always had red candle wax dripped on them - i used to say she was so hot she made a guy cum so much he would cum blood on her tits -com to think of that , there were a couple of people i told this to and they baulkedat the suggestion, maybe they were too vanilla as i saw nothing wrong with her or the idea lol !
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RHP User
14 years ago
Not sure why my post went sideways. Here's what I originally said: They have a sick, co-dependent friends-with-benefits relationship with your housemate but are scandalised that YOU are having an MMF.
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RHP User
14 years ago
..... are shocked when I get my dick-out on the dancefloor!Some girls do have em! ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
They read a post not knowing what "vanilla" means They feel like a virgin on RHP. I'll share a secret with all of you complex, sexy, fun RHP darlings, I like vanilla, just not all the time...So is there a term for conservative (KIDS should not wear/watch/be part of THAT), open minded (If you enjoy it who am I to stop you, as long as it's not hurting anyone who doesn't want to or isn't able to consent), slightly scared by some practices, curious about others...earthy, fire filled woman?
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RHP User
14 years ago
ask you if you've ever done doggy position with ur bf!...
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RHP User
14 years ago
* they look at your bruises and say 'who hit you??' and then look scandalised when you say you enjoyed it.... * are scandalised that you discuss sex openly with strangers in a crowded bar (apparently I am the go to girl at my local if someone has a question) * dont understand why there are handcuffs permanently attached to your bed frame * think rimming is only about cocktails . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
So, how long this time before the Apache attack? .Krissy, I owe you $2 from the last thread I bet on. Can I just give it to a busker?
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RHP User
14 years ago
When my work colleagues ask me why am I walking awkwardly xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Just have to love those modern day Apaches...looks only one arrow was drawn. Krissy, I will toss $10 in to two hats tomorrow...just hope that naked dancing girl is on the corner of King Street again tomorrow. As cold as it was... | ...she looked hot. | You know you friends are vanilla when they don't appreciate a good cyber blast when they see one. | Actually, I am starting to think vanilla might have something to do with an OCD related to the use of vibrators and other hand-held weapons of occassional destruction. Seriously, those things are almost cliche' you know. Spice up your life... | ...try the real thing and you may never go back.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'slippery_halo' They have a sick, co-dependent friends-with-benefits relationship with your housemate but are scandalised that YOU are having an MMF. If you ever have a post format out to the side like that...you can actually just hit "Reply with Quote" and it opens it up. Very useful if like "some people" ...you post can be a just a tiny bit long winded now and then. Unless of course you have one of those "ohhhhhhhh damn, why did I say that" things going on, then leave it hidden away. | ...no names mentioned, thanks.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Oh babe, tell me we can dance up a storm somewhere soon? I'm thinking glamorous nightclub, PVC outfits and 9' heels? We will defiantly show those vanilla-slices a thing or two!Fellow public, are you with me? Quoting 'Krissy_G' Quoting 'XtraSpecialK'..... are shocked when I get my dick-out on the dancefloor!Some girls do have em! ;) Lurve grinding my bum to the music. Especially with a pair of arms wrapped around my waist from behind.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You know your friends may be just a tad vanilla (albeit pure essence and essential oils) if they think for a second that you wouldn't just happen by accident to have your Nikon camera and Sigma lens set handy when you are just casually wandering down King Street on a sunny but nippy day watching the buskers. | Why do you think she had two hats...not to cover her head. | Think I just throw 25 $2 gold coins in the air and see how many she can catch in her hats... | ...live at lunch, pictures for friends.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Think HRT stands for Holden racing team
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Mr_MrsJones
14 years ago
These are all dinky di things that my friends have done / said - Her friends buy her a glow in the dark vibrator for her birthday and she comments on how useless this reading lamp is because it won't stay still while it is turned on!!!! - Their lifelong ambition is to be part of a threesome (FFM of course. Is there any other type?) - They announce to the world at large that swinging is an urban myth - They think a woman asking her husband to organise a gang bang is just plain WRONG
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RHP User
14 years ago
They think the Hitachi Magic Wand is a new release, Harry Potter themed Japanese car.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You have elevated the silk worm to a higher form of life and pray for it's continued proliferation and property. You make donations to the church to help research that will make them immune to all pesticides, disease and predators. Join today!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'XtraSpecialK'Oh babe, tell me we can dance up a storm somewhere soon? I'm thinking glamorous nightclub, PVC outfits and 9' heels? We will defiantly show those vanilla-slices a thing or two!Fellow public, are you with me? Quoting 'Krissy_G' Quoting 'XtraSpecialK'..... are shocked when I get my dick-out on the dancefloor!Some girls do have em! ;) Lurve grinding my bum to the music. Especially with a pair of arms wrapped around my waist from behind. i wish more girls did have them Special K. I would love to see you on the dancefloor in 9 Inch heels. Find me prp73at ymail. com. Love your pics
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RHP User
14 years ago
•They can't believe how I can be turned on by other guys fucking my wife. •they think we must not have a loving relationship if we still want to have sex with Other ppl •it's been mentioned but a mff is the only 3sum that is ok . •love the idea of joining in mmf but would never dream of involving their partner . •only dream about doing anything from a Porno because they are to scared to ask To have an experience Or fulfil any fantasies •a girl that horny and expresses it ;) is slut .
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the_hot_wife
14 years ago
Best thread ever giggling at all of those
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RHP User
14 years ago
Think it is disturbing that you have an Adult store Loyalty card...Think that you are some kind of sex crazed maniac for owning any sort of sex toy... Think that a quickie, no foreplay, only in bed, only at night-time, only before going to sleep, no more than twice a month is a satisfying sex life...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hush baby, you wont have to talk. You can wear a ball gag for the night, resist and I will just have to walk you around the club with a leash! ;)I don't know whether that's incentive for you to behave or misbehave though! :) Quoting 'Krissy_G' Quoting 'XtraSpecialK'Oh babe, tell me we can dance up a storm somewhere soon? I'm thinking glamorous nightclub, PVC outfits and 9' heels? We will defiantly show those vanilla-slices a thing or two!Fellow public, are you with me? Hope you love ropes and whips as much as I do.
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RHP User
14 years ago
When talking about goin down on a lady to your dad he say's " pft i'm a man not a fkin dog you know"
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RHP User
14 years ago
Your friends are so vanilla when - They think 'snowballing' is an actiivity predominantly found on Mt.Bulla! ;)I was vanilla about it too, until I had my first RHP hookup! :)THE CIRCLE OF KINK CONTINUES! :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Your mate at work is talkin about how he's goin to bang his missus this weekend when I was in bed with my missuss and 2 other chicks last weekend. Your mate say'a there is no way he would let someone else fuck his woman,I get off on it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
A friend calls you to ask "why the post about silk worms" and you have to explain to her that Shibari is not a take-away special from The Noodle Box...then you still have explain why that's much more sensual and exotic than duct tape. I didn't even try to explain about the hand crafted and highly polished cane clips. I would be so awkward if she tried to use one instead of a toothpick.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'exitonly' They mention to you that they think someone is a swinger.................. how hard is it to hold back the laughter when they do this
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'gladstonefella' Think HRT stands for Holden racing team ok, i dont want to sound vanilla but what is HRT
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting '2ezee' •They can't believe how I can be turned on by other guys fucking my wife. i get this often they say"how can you let another guy fuck your wife..."simple answer"well im usually too busy fucking his lady to care about it.."
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'we_are_no_angels' Quoting 'gladstonefella' Think HRT stands for Holden racing team ok, i dont want to sound vanilla but what is HRTHormon replacment therapy :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
*hormone even ..... this site can't keep up with even my slow typing, unless it's my pc :S
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RHP User
14 years ago
With bells on. Quoting 'XtraSpecialK' Oh babe, tell me we can dance up a storm somewhere soon? I'm thinking glamorous nightclub, PVC outfits and 9' heels? We will defiantly show those vanilla-slices a thing or two!Fellow public, are you with me?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight'A friend calls you to ask "why the post about silk worms" and you have to explain to her that Shibari is not a take-away special from The Noodle Box...then you still have explain why that's much more sensual and exotic than duct tape. I didn't even try to explain about the hand crafted and highly polished cane clips. I would be so awkward if she tried to use one instead of a toothpick. Snow White you say? Purer than driven snow? How could a woman who lived with seven men be so naive?? I suspect you probably got yourself all flustered and confused friends with fairytales again
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RHP User
14 years ago
Was that a WOW comment???? hahaha!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'gladstonefella' Quoting 'we_are_no_angels' Quoting 'gladstonefella' Think HRT stands for Holden racing team ok, i dont want to sound vanilla but what is HRTHormon replacment therapy :) ohhhhhhhhhhhhh... c i dont know many pre-ops
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RHP User
14 years ago
Dunno what happened to the rest that I wrote , but it went sumthin like..... HRT = Hormone replacement therapyBut I guess you got the gist of what I was trying to say :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Now see right there, white bread...you cracked the case (as it were) again but forgot some of the detail. Back to dicktective school for you as it's the detail that may win or loose any argument before the bench...and more so if you tied down over one with your ass in the air. |Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' How could a woman who lived with seven men be so naive?? I suspect you probably got yourself all flustered and confused friends with fairytales again. First of all, your Orneryness....seven men and one woman could be as vanilla as Mum and Dad blessed with five boys. Even if were what you are implying is playing house with seven guys, most would call that little more than a convent...or small religious group of little interest.|Seven horny, bearded, knarly, little dwarves, Snow White....you have to confess or just admit to being a store brand in a plain white wrapper. You know, not a soul would have known it was you that called but since you mentioned it, it was you. Go on say it...|...ya know ya wanna.
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RHP User
14 years ago
When u compliment a woman by saying "yours legs are good enough to eat off" and her hubby gets the shits with you!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I work in an adult store. One of my friends seems physically unable to actually say the words 'adult store'. Instead he makes this booby tassel motion with his hand. I've managed to decipher that two hands means strip club (or what he calls 'boob bar') and one hand means 'adult store'. The other night I realised that he thinks one could actually book an escort through us.-_-'
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Genius_Ironman
14 years ago
You joke that "Jesus never would have died on the cross if he rememberd the safe word" and just get a heap of dumb looks..
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RHP User
14 years ago
mmmmm yes i would love to fuck ur partner ;)
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wannabyummymummy
14 years ago
when they only have sex 2-3 times are year and think that is fine!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
...that Santa coming once a year is enough and they would prefer he not do it in their chimney. | Of course, if you think about the night the old duffer has once a year around the world...he might just need the rest. |
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BradBrisCanHost
14 years ago
Ok this is a two stage vanilla - kinda vanilla with a vanilla stripeYour working in your business and the delivery driver from your supplier arrives and tells you about this woman who was driving bottomless in the car next him, who then signaled for him to follow her and they end up with him getting a blowjob in the back of his truck - (and the look of shock and amazement on his face is so genuine you believe him) and you think you already know the woman from RHP Later, like it's no big deal, you casually mention to your Father that the driver was late because he was getting a blowjob in the back of his truck and his reaction makes you think that his brain has exploded because a)you might have hit on one of his fantasies and b) that he has never had a blowjob.
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BradBrisCanHost
14 years ago
He doesn't understand why I showered, shaved and dressed well and then went out at 2.30am while he is sitting watching TV. Oh and when I return the next morning, he thinks I am kidding when I say it was a bootycall for 3some with a couple I had never met before.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'married2aBBW' your friends are so vanilla when .. yo mention somethng you consider rather tame like sex outdoors or going to a nudist beach and they look at you incredibly, like you have sugested something out there like fisting them in front of their parents ! Hahaha... Fisting them in front of their parents. That's gold!Your friends are so vanilla when they suggest that having sex with other people (as a couple) while married is ungodly...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Go out for ice cream and actually order vanilla when there's all the good shit just sitting there next to it, and I'm like what the fuck are you doing? this isn't your lame arsed fridge with just one tub of icecream, this is a fucking icecream shop that sells rum'n'raisin or cookies and cream you vanilla fucks, don't talk to me again with your one scoop of vanilla life, we are no longer friends.
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RHP User
14 years ago
They havnt read this thread.. Funny shit.
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