F56
You know you are single when......
April 01 2014
Comments
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
the lawns have to be mowed by self and you look at it and go "I need a Dial a Hubby". You know you're single when.....the fridge is empty. You know you're single when...friends try to set you up on blind dates ALL the time. You know you're single when...you have to dodge those who want to set you up ALL on blind dates just because they feel sorry for you being single. You know you're single when........you don't cook a roast meal for one. *I'd kill for one right about now with all the trimmings* You know you're single when replying to a Forum called "You know you're single when........ ". Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
when you have to get the whipper snipper out to shave because you have a hot date. when you have to clean the house because you have a sexy visitor coming over you have to wear underwear just to catch the drips when something hot walks past
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RHP User
12 years ago
The small tub of ice cream costs more than the large,but you just can't trust yourself......you enjoy going to the movies alone..no compromises necessary..... you eat far to much cheese on toast,breakfast ,lunch and dinner xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
When the people at the drive through know you by first name. When you name a pet with a female name so if someone ask you if you're going home alone again you can say "no I'm going home to...... When a condom use by date is reached
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know you're single when you have chocolate and coffee for dinner. You know you're single when you spend more money on lingerie than you do on groceries. You know you're single when you have an argument with yourself. You know you're single when you send a pic of yourself to your GF to ask her if you look okay for a date. You know you're single when you only run the dishwasher because you've run out of coffee mugs.
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RHP User
12 years ago
when you own more than one cat and are thinking of getting more. When you stay in your PJs the whole weekend. When you sleep in the middle of the bed when you watch the lawn mower guy and sigh, and when he goes put a ton of water and fertilizer on the lawn. you know your single when you control the remote and can watch what ever you friggin like. when you can hang your undies in the showerwhen the seat is always downwhen you can buy as many new shoes or clothes as you like and don't have to say, what this old thing? when you can throw bag and dog in the back of your 4 wheel drive and fuck off to where you please. when you go out with the girls and have a shit load of fun without having to pick up a man to make you happy when mechanics and tradesmen have dollar signs in their eyes when they come to do some work. when you can say NO to sex and then don't hear the whine whine whine all night long when you can fuck as many and as often as you like. when the first question your mother asks when she calls long distance, is have you found a nice boy yet? When you don't have to quickly shut down RHP when your partner walks into the room.
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RHP User
12 years ago
When your closest friends are on rhp and not your neigjbours anymore...... - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Talking about cats.. You know you're single when you have a row of "my family" cat stickers on the back window of your car. Foxy
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Dryphuz
12 years ago
you look at a shirt with food stains on it and think "meh! Who's gonna see me." You make a meal out of 2 side dishes from previous meals. There's always a roll of toilet paper near your computer. You don't even make the bed when you change the sheets. You start going out on fridays on your own because all your attached friends are busy. You already own a dog, a cat, fish and birds and you're starting to think of names for a lizard. You paid foe Eharmony. You need to replace out of date condoms. You take your handcuffs out of the drawer and pack them away in a box on the top shelf of your wardrobe. You've played more than 3 hours of games today. There's always only one wine glass in the sink.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I know I'm single because: My wineglass doesn't make it to the kitchen, it's on continuous stand-by Foxtel has been on the You! channel for 12 hours without interruption My two dogs occupy the rest of my couch It's 7pm and I'm still not dressed
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RHP User
12 years ago
both tragic and hilarious.....and scarily true xx Q
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erotictouch4u
12 years ago
you come home from work, catch up on RHP, news and TV serials then realise it is almost 10pm and you haven't had dinner yet.
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RHP User
12 years ago
when you own the remote. Can watch what you want, whenever you want. (Yes, I am talking about the tele)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Now fuck those two dogs off the couch and let me on it. You can keep those toys lying around :)
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Chaucer
12 years ago
..when you invite family around just so you can cook a roast for yourself. ( tip for foxxy :p ) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'EuropianBliss' Now fuck those two dogs off the couch and let me on it. Make me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
When you're considering trading in your SS commodore for a mini ;) When you're repulsed by your own farts for a change. When you start calling gardening your pride and joy. When you have 3 dental check ups a month. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
And REVEL in it when you can play poker for 24 hours or longer. Yay!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Go home and sleep with cat all day
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RHP User
12 years ago
You keep a ruler handy to scratch your own back You roll over in bed and fart in any direction you want You go through more batteries than your kids do - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know your single when you need to call a locksmith when you lock yourself out of your apartment. Fuck, I'm an idiot.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am single because I cook quick mealI watch movies I likeI go to bed when I likeI have naps on the weekendI can have sex when I likeI have my bed all to myselfI can be naked all day long I don't need to shower I can just smell all day long, have my hair sticking up and feel just so downright happyOhh, ohh and when I fart no one complain about the smell OHH WHAT A FEELING
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RHP User
12 years ago
you need a neighbour who has a spare key, I do and it is soooo helpful
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know when your single when nobody touches ya shit! You know you are single when you continually laugh at your own jokes ! You know when your single you always seem to be talking to yourself! You know when your single you have to do everything ! You know when your single when you have to rely on yourself! You know when your single you cant say they did it! You know when your single when its where you left it ! You know when your single when who gives a fuck ! You know when your single when your lonely! You know when your single does this look ok ! You know when your single when your own hand rolls over ! You know when your single your always going out ! You know when your single when you never go home! You know when your single when nobody made that mess but you ! You know when your single you never do anything wrong! You know when your single when you gotta find it yourself! You know when your single when you dont want to be single! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Dryphuz' You already own a dog, a cat, fish and birds and you're starting to think of names for a lizard. I really want to get a snake!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know your single when first thing in the morning you log into RHP and have a coffee. When you sleep across the bed. When your only good friends are from RHP. (need to make more noise to scare off the neighbours jayjay) You walk into your bathroom and see your vibrator looking at you and saying you dirty girl. Sometimes spooning sounds like the best thing in the world. When your house is so tidy it looks like you have OCD. When Mon to Wed is rest days and Thur to Sun your with your RHP friends and thinking of ways to get into trouble.
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Quoting 'Chaucer' ..when you invite family around just so you can cook a roast for yourself. ( tip for foxxy :p ) - Posted from rhpmobile My family and close friends live out of town! :( You know you are single when you plan to visit any time - because you can and to have a Hot Mummy Roast Meal waiting. :) Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
..You go to bed and throw the other two pillows onto the bedside table. They only get in your way now. ..Cooking dinner invariably involves a microwave or a phone. ..You buy your milk in the 600ml cartons. ..You go to the shopping centre to pick up a few things and get sold $400 worth of skincare productsfrom the hot Israeli girl at the Seacret Spa stand.
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Lifes_great
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' I really want to get a snake!! I want to comment but....I'll refrain
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your most intimate relationship is with the girl with the magic hands at the Thai massage parlour or your hairdresser.
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RHP User
12 years ago
When you end a phone conversation because you "have to make dinner", but fail to mention it's really only a case of hitting a button on the microwave. When you seriously consider installing the app that changes all the pics of your friends' babies on Facebook to cats. When you rely on Coles Online to bring you chicken soup when you're ill.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You install the RHP mobile app so you don't miss a message. When you're laying in bed scratching your balls trying to imagine what it feels like to have someone else scratch them for you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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precious142
12 years ago
when you have a gardener to do lawnswhen you have cuddle sessions with your BigDog each night- just so you don't forget howwhen you have your g/friend over for dinner and try new recepies and wineswhen you and g/friend get happily pissed (at dinner) and she does sleepoverwhen you go out for long lunch and stay out for dinnerwhen you can perve online on men on dating/adult siteswhen you can stay in pj pants and singlet top all day sunday - even when friends come over for a sunday sipper!!!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Lifes_great' Quoting 'Luckdragon23' I really want to get a snake!! I want to comment but....I'll refrain I didn't even think about the innuendo possibilities when I wrote that!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
you want to go out but realise all your clothes are jerseys and shirts of your favourite sporting teams you tell your mates you'd hit that waitress from the back and then look up and realise their wives are there you get on the jumping castle with the kids and play the role of Godzilla you give yourself a dutch oven and are impressed with your self breville toasties and alcohol is your dinner most nights of the week your PS3 controller is on the pillow next to you in bed - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know you are single when you leave the toilet seat up and no one complains.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know you are single when you pull up at the lights next to a sexy lady and start dry humping your motor bike seat looking at them.... Vrooom Vrooom !
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RHP User
12 years ago
You are excited that the single serving frozen vegetables were on sale at the supermarket.When the employees at McDonald's/Hungry Jacks know your order by heart…even when you go through the drive-thru.Your dead house plants make you feel as guilty as your mom does.Your friends stop asking about your love life.You don’t know what sport season it is.You’re not even excited about getting your period.You get to eat the last of the goodies in the fridge.When you start talking to the T.VWhen your cats have a say in whats for dinner.
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
purchase some pretty dam sexy "40 shades of Grey" lingerie, and no one to share it with, except yourself. Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
When you go out for lunch at 12.30 and get home at 1.30 the next morning, and 2 people stay for a sleepover ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know your single when : you invite your best friend over to perve with you on your hot lawnmower guy :P When you buy AA batteries in bulk...... When you have the whole god damn bed to yourself. When you don't have to put the toilet seat down When you can say this quote : 8 planets 204 countries 809 Islands 7 sea's 6, 000, 000, 000+ people an I'm single.....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' purchase some pretty dam sexy "40 shades of Grey" lingerie, and no one to share it with, except yourself. And everyone on RHP! L4Q:
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
mes and L4Q Foxy
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Cazz61
12 years ago
When you're whole house is full of toys because you keep buying toys for you're spoiled poodle and even let him share you're pillow at night
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know your single when the lady who works at your local club x knows you on a first name basis after coming in weekly to change your DVDs over - Posted from rhpmobile
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Cazz61
12 years ago
When your poodle is the only male thats in your bed....
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RHP User
12 years ago
You agree men are such arse holes ...hehe You have your mum try to set you up on a date ....very embarrassing... You wake up hugging the quilt You get home and there is no bloody food on the table .... Just jokes...only being cheeky here. The house doesn't smell nice anymore ... Missing that lady's touch You get away with leaving the washing on the floor When you politely smile at happy couples....wishing that was me When you go to bed at night praying to meet someone special
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Lovinit28andKC72
12 years ago
When You don't have to tell anyone what/who/when/how you're doing..... When you can have the whole walk in robe to yourself and fill it... And finally when everyone reminds you........💋 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
when you have to play 20 questions with the kids about where you are going and what you are doing all dressed up to get some groceries. when your teenage kids get more sex than you do when you could write a book on how to stop the last lousy shag from trying to get in your pants again. when you keep the bedside table on 'his side' of the bed empty in hope when you can chop firewood, fix the car and wire up your vibrator to mains power
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RHP User
12 years ago
The ProsYour friends live vicariously through youYou get to choose ALL the decor at your houseYou don't have to squeeze past power tools in the garage to get to your carYou can walk through your garage without leaving it smelling of welding fumes!You're the one who always has to leave work to meet tradespeople / deliveries at the house You have to pretend you have a raging shoe fetish in order to receive your discreet 'adult' deliveries at work without blushing.You have handy-woman related injuries (such as a drilled thumbnail from hanging pictures hah!)Achievements often feel *that* much better, because you know you did them all on your own :) The ConsYou always get the crap bedroom when you go away with a big group of friends for the weekendTravel seems to cost twice as much because you can't split the room costsYou're always on the look out for more single friends to hang out with!
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RHP User
12 years ago
you dont give a shit how messy your bedroom is ...until you have a special man coming over for a night of pleasure and can clean it up asap, in anticipation for a hot night of fucking:P
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GezWouldGo
12 years ago
You've just had the best sex in your life ..... but there's no one else in the bed
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GezWouldGo
12 years ago
You buy toilet tissue in twin packs ....... and it lasts a month.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Single is when you have friends over n ur the only one without a cuddle laughter partner... :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
... The little darling rings you as you are about to drive in the driveway to say that she has run out of tampons, AND she needs one NOW! ... You have to wash your own clothes, peg them out, bring them in, AND iron them ... You have to take them shopping for shoes, handbags, underwear etc... AND we all know how much girls lurrrvvvve to shop :-( ... You can't meet a lovely woman because your darling has a temperature of 104 ... You forgot to take dinner out of the freezer in the morning... And now you are getting takeaway Yep, just gotta love it, S'nP
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know you're single when your cock turns orange from watching porn and eating cheezels. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
The callouses on your dick rival those on your hands ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
you wake up of a morning, get up out of bed and make your own coffee!! AND then take it back to bed! FOXY, who really misses that first morning coffee, brought into her and placed on her bedside table. :((((
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RHP User
12 years ago
when you spend 120 hours a week at work.when you are on first name basis with Misses palmer and her 5 daughters.when you find the box of condoms still in the bag with the receipt you bought 2 years ago. when you ask your asking RHP members to give advice on your profile.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Macha' When you don't have to put the toilet seat down Want to tell us something?
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RHP User
12 years ago
And Macha the pedant in me feels obliged to point out that you're an even bigger loser than you thought because the is actually over 7 billion (and getting close to 8) to choose a partner from.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You wake up in the morning and your bed barely looks like it has been slept in, instead of a tangled mess that you end up with after wild sex :-(
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RHP User
12 years ago
No one answers your mail or winks on Red Hot Pie.... Ohh poop !
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RHP User
12 years ago
Never mind then.
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Chaucer
12 years ago
You can come home and just go for a "quick nap" on the bed, and when you get up find out it's dark and the late show is on TV.The only lumps in your bed are from the full length body pillow..You ask the teenager to leave their radio on LOUD, so you don't have to hear him getting more action than you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Oh meander, luv it but I mean, toilet seat is never up...... so I don't need to put it down. It's always there already pmsl....
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RHP User
12 years ago
You know when you are single when there is no skid marks in toilet and there is always toilet papers. When you own a lot of tools and can fix most things yourself. When the house is always clean. You wonder who should you shag that tonight and actually have a choice. Cause every time you make yourself come you actually do come :-) When it's time to do your laundry on the wkd and there is nothing but pj and work clothes! It's not because your single that you have to not eat good but it is because you're single that you have a freezer full of single portions! There is never any hair on the sink from shaving/trimming beards :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
We are married and all of the above applies the same......not sure what that says about us lol!
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RHP User
12 years ago
you don't need an std testwhen you start to watch MKR and home and away and you tape reality shows. when you get pissed and drive just so you can hear a guy say Blow...into this when you never have any thing on your answering machine, except your mother nagging you to come over and meet some nice boy. when you get an orgasm from chocolate chip ice cream when your undies are very shabby before you throw them out. when you eat things out of their packet with your hands as you look through the pantry. when beak fast cereals make a great dinner. when you have ten thousand decorated pillows on your bed when the sound of a tradies drill makes your nipples stand on end. when you get a swimming pool, so you can get a pool guywhen you grow lawn so you can have a lawn guywhen you bust your car so you can talk to a mechanic when the postman is afraid to deliver a package to your door. When your vagina gets dried up and falls out at isle three in your supermarket. clean up on aisle three!
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RHP User
12 years ago
When you join rhp to see what you are missing out on O:-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Its back to cereal for dinner for me now
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madotara69
12 years ago
to hear that Araps Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
You have more pictures of feathered birds on your phone/computer than bikini clad ones. (I love my papegojor) SGa.k.a crazy birdman of North Sydney.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You lie in bed and watch movies while eating 1/2 a strawberry cheesecake that was on sale for $1.20. Which reminds me, I should eat the other half for dinner as it expires tomorrow.
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
You buy a clear kettle, just to watch it boil for entertainment. Foxy
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