F63
Ya know what I hate?
September 04 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
i was never bullied as a child...i had so much pent up aggression as a teen because of my childhood that no one come near me and if they tried i never forgot so i would get them back later...but it was good because it ment my friends were left alone too i wasnt a bully...id never be mean to another unless pushed, i will stand up for myself and others if i think they need it... i was mentally and physically abused by my ex husband til the day i realised it was live or die time and then i came out fighting we all know about my little experience in melbourne...but i stood up to him, but i still let him get to me...hell i tried to close myself down lol but thankfully with wonderful friends and lots of support i got through it all roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Political correctness....................with such tripe we cannot even begin to express ourselves in a clear and honest fashion without running the risk of offending someone, some where, some how .
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Mynameonurlips': Are you a victim? Are you a perp? How did you survive the experience and how, as a result, have you dealt with it?Hiya Myname, interesting topic. I'll be interested to see where this goes.The main part of the definition I looked up reckons a bully is... a person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people. In my experience bullies come in many ways, shapes and forms, some more obvious than others and some more recognised than others, most likely as it has always has been but discussed more in these days of 'available' information than before but not necessarily recognised as the underlying evil that it is. Those in positions of power often take advantage of it. Please excuse my negative attitude that I don't like your chances of hearing from many perps cos I reckon there ain't many that are going to admit to any such thing even if they recognise it aside from the flaming they may well expect.How I survived is a question I have never answered to my satisfaction and the most satisfactory answer for how I dealt with it is to say, 'I survived'. It's not that I mean to be deliberately cryptic but that I son't know any better way to put it that doesn't go on n on n on...Survival of the fittest... Hugs, Mrs P
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RHP User
15 years ago
I totally get how personal & disturbing this topic is, particularly as I've seen how some of our colleagues rely on such means to express /conduct themselves. I've also experienced bullying in the workplace & seen first hand how it affects everyone. As our lovely ladies state, bullying is extremely corrosive to our self esteem, self worth & health. Any wonder stress related illnesses is the main issue before the industrial relations/workcover commission? One can not attach a value to the insurmountable damage harrassment & bullying costs our community in personal damages, however legally, the figure is in almost one billion each year. Private organizations & Government alike just bury their heads and by their inaction, condone the actions of seriel bullies. Mrs P, like you, I doubt anyone who utilzes bullying or intimidating tactics will respond, however, being the eternal optimist that I am, I'm hoping we will hear from the other side primarily in the hope of ascertaining their degree of self awareness & whether they have changed their behaviour. Thanks to all who contributed thus far xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I was bullied from a very young age. A group of up to 10 or so kids led by one fat turd used to bully me and most other kids. One day I decided no more, I learnt to fight, did karate and tai kwon do, learnt to box and one by one settled every score. I made a promise to myself I would stand up to anyone who tried to bully me and I have. I've had some terrible hidings and given some both verbally and physically but nobody has tried to bully me a second time since I started high school. I've had pub bullies, sport bullies, union bullies, internet bullies and even police bullies try it on in my adult life and fought fire with fire every time. People who bully others generally don't understand reason and fair play that's why you have to slam them hard and beat them down immediately, verbally, physically, legally whatever it takes to make them stop. If someone tries to bully or hurt you and you retaliate with equal or greater force it usually makes it not worth their while to continue. If someone bullies a woman there's a whole special set of rules for dealing with those types..... I can cure Mathew Newtons problems, 5 x 3 minute rounds in a boxing ring... Bet he doesn't bully another woman again afterwards.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't think I have ever been bullied or ever felt the need to raise defences against it, not significantly. I do know someone whose mother says he got bullied and changed his school to avoid it but he himself is a terrible bully in a kind of random way, maybe not such a bully as just irritates everyone all the time. Not excusing bullying of course but I think maybe just sometimes a person bring out the bully in others through their own behaviour.
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Bubbaj
15 years ago
growin up in primary skool. being teased about bein asian but luckily back then my english wasnt so gud so i didnt understand till i had dreams about it lata. and then getting older having ppl say to me to go back to where i came from slanty eyes! like seriously! oh the surprise they get wen i talk in perfectly enlglish n give them a history about australia n their descendants... then for them to retort wit u fukn fat bitch loose weight. i dnt let it get to me as they r small minded n cudnt tink of netin betta. im also shocked that even kids r putting down gays n lesbians. a while ago i went to aarows n there were these boys who wrere arnd 10-16 askin us if the fags go in there. they were just sayn all these nasty things! i just wonder if this is due to their parenrd or the attitude that is taken in todays society. it does sadden me in todays society when there is multiculture n diff opinions that ppl are still closed in their thoughts and they bully those that dont have the same mindset as them.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ok, being flippant here, but 2active's comment reminded me of responses Ive heard when faced with parents of alleged bullies, managers of bullies, school principles etc etc etc. I understand ppl find it hard to deal with nasty types. It's easy to look the other way or seek to find a simple solution when having to deal with a problem such as this. As Rugged stated, where a power differential exists, sucking it up or defending oneself in whatever way possible seems to be the only solution. Back to being flippant, my hope is that karma comes back to bite the offender big time!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Apologies for the lastpost which didn't arrive on our shores quite the way it left my dock, nearly all of it was meant to be the same colour aside from your quote and the definition lol. I would be interested to hear anything anyone has to say on the topic, have to admit I can be cynical about human 'kind' at times and certainly was when I wrote that post but I have also seen and heard how inspiring we can be, some with our ability to have positive influences in other people's lives and others with their ability to turn around their own lives. I would love to see anyone who has been effected by the former or had the gumption of being the latter kind post here and hope that either would be an enlightening experience.I believe the way bullying is recognised and treated in the early stages can make a huge difference. Dealing with it pro-actively at schools and in the workplace would likely make it clear that it won't be tolerated but it seems to be stuck in the too hard basket mostly. Kudos that there are more bullying programs in place than ever before, may they have a snowball effect as more gain understanding.My own way of dealing with bullies is to stand up for myself and others at times, in the end, it's up to them though. I have been shocked over time by the amount of people who would rather stay out of it rather than getting involved even when they see a man hurting a woman, not me hehe. Bemused by those that don't even recognise their own behaviour as bullying. Appalled by those who do and encourage it. And lastly sympathetic of those that don't even understand they are being 'bullied'. Hugs... Mrs P
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hey Bubbaj: Being a fellow female, I too, have been the object of ppl's rude and ignorant comments. Being a woman with dark hair and olive complexion also bought about unwanted comments bringing my heritage into question. No one can really understand how it feels to be derided and ridiculed for things that are beyond our control & I am so sorry you had to go thru that as a kid. Like you, I believe parents have a huge role to play when it comes to attitudes and bias. To me, being Australian is something to be proud of & celebrating our way of life, it most definately is NOT maligning those who come here to contribute positively & embrace our culture. In addition, I have several family members who are gay & witnessing what they are forced to contend with regarding their lifestyle is sickening. For anyone to consider ending their life due to violent & disgusting views on behalf of others is devastating. Mrs P: personally, I enjoy everything you have to say & fully support your rights & individuality in doing so. I hope others will share their stories with us, we need to take this subject seriously as we have lost too many lives due to the effects of bullying & abuse of power.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Which word damn it. Oh wtf... here's a little bit of counterpoint... Try a little bran in your muffins. :) When I'm having a bad day try staying in bed and invite some friends around to keep me company... err.. I mean you. :p Leave a galss of lemonade on the table until it goes flat. And skull! Hugs Stalky Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why didnt I think of that?! Talk about a recipe for success...so what you are saying is.....if someone pisses you off. load up on the bran when impersonating Masterchef...& hand out offending muffins to all the low down dirtbags? Or, perhaps its time for u to turn the other cheek Sir Stalky.....lol Not apologizing for introducing a serious post but come on SS, surely the RHP population can handle something with a little more substance. I mean come on, arent u sick of reading about how to write a profile, innies or outies, who has the best arse & bleating about dirty rotten scoundrels but wanting them anyway....?? No, don't answer that, reckon I know the answer....lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
There is good and bad in everyone of this planet, possibly the galaxy, so in no way is this targeted at one race or sex... I tend to always have a good look at a situation before joining in the festivities, because I sure as hell know that things can get alot worse before they get better. Last week, and Indian man was standing over his Indian female counterpart, screaming abuse; both in english and another language I am not familiar with. He even raised his hand a few times and I swore he was going to hit her. Now, I don't know the full story, had she swiped his ice coffee breaka from the fridge?, had she forgotten to wash his lucky socks?, or had she put a tad too much cumin in his korma?, either way, she didn't deserve that. I watched from a distance for as long as I could, trying to work out if he was actually going to hit her before all the peak hour traffic rushing by. Enough was enough, as several people had strolled by and not seemed to have even blinked. So I walked right up and got between them, and ushered her away a bit to see if she was ok. Having worked with Indian males in the past was an advantage, I must admit; for they are all good at directing rage to a woman, however with a man before them and a large one at that, they lose their gusto. That was all it took to break the spell he had over her and although I don't like to fight fire with fire, I turned and told him that if he uttered one word to myself or her, or raised a finger for that matter, that I would drop him. One must really watch and listen closely and weigh it all up these days as you never know what they know, what weapons they might be carrying or how potent the smell of curry is...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Good on you embodi! I can almost envisage the look on the blokes face when you offered to 'drop him'...God! I love the aussie lingo lol.
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RHP User
15 years ago
That Word L.O.V.E. Bullies give me the shits hehe Enjoying your work Embodi... Kudos to you for standing up in a world where so many... don't even blink an eye Hugs... Mrs P
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RHP User
15 years ago
I just received a call from my very distressed daughter. My grandson and another kindy kid was assaulted by an older kid at school this morning. A boy, a few years older than my grandson was visciously kicking my grandson's classmate in full view of the rest of the school population & as my grandson placed his bag down in the line (before my daughter could do anything) the boy turned around and grabbed my grandson by the throat and pushed him against a brick wall. My daughter called out to the boy to stop & took all kids involved to the duty teacher, whose response was to berate the two kindy kids and ask what they had done to provoke the older boy. Further to this, he responded to my daughter by saying..'well, what do you want me to do?" It gets worse. The principal's attitude was equally disturbing. Any wonder tax payers are shelling out in excess of $20 million a year in compensation to students. Far worse, is the damage being done to our children. Whilst the marks on my 6 year old grandsons neck & head will heal, the emotional carnage will linger a lot longer.
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RHP User
15 years ago
OH MY FUCKING GOD Myname!!!! (...and I really swear on this forum) The BELIGERENCE is startling and frightening. This is NOT acceptable. This is NOT to be tolerated. The teacher AND principal have basically endorsed bullying!!! Now, somewhere in the back of your grandsons' mind is a thought process that what was done to him is ok??? Well, the teachers said so....and as a child at school, the student obeys the teacher. Nahhh....don't settle on this one Myname. Your grandson needs to see the carriage of justice. And that is, VIOLENCE and BULLYING is NOT acceptable, no matter what the situation. And that is the bottom line. I'm shaking too now. Put it in writing - copy it to the principal and the DET. This is not about revenge, but about ensuring the policy lines for bullying in schools are followed. You're in my thoughts - big hug for your daughter and grandson Jx
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RHP User
15 years ago
We as a population are terrribly racist , not particularly understanding men are most often sexist we rarely care more for others than ourselves we mostly lack compassion over the last decade we have been taught to care for ourselves before all else. we hide it as humor, as jest we hide behind "looking after ....." (enter the children ...the future ..... the country) just the saying "it's unaustralain" is unaustralian (work that out) we do hide it behind so called political correctness , which has nothing to do with correctness. We kid ourselves we are not all these things here in Australia, we are. Wow enough of that people wont like me if I keep thaty kinda talk up ! Brae ......Just lifting heavy things
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm totally disgusted and my blood is boiling!!! I would expect the older kid to display better control to the youngsters even if it was the case they said or did something to him! Supposed retaliation on any level is not acceptable and the degree he went to has to have an immediate and effective consequences. Considering your daughter witnessed, controlled and reported it, I would expect the situation to be taken much more seriously. Looks like the too hard basket is too easy too use. The irony of your daughter's situation is not lost on me... I still remember the time our son was followed through his high school and harassed at the end of the day as he headed for the bus. A school teacher saw them on the way and did and said nothing. Friends of ours told us later how they saw the guy jump our son from behind as he waited for the bus, hitting him around the head without any warning whatsoever. our son hit back to defend himself as all the other parents & students in the area stood by and watched!!! Both boys scored a suspension from the school as a consequence, I had no worries keeping him home for a day but was onto the school lickety split to have the black mark removed from his record. As I pointed out to them, the school was remiss in duty of care by not taking control of the situation sooner when they had the chance and what was my son supposed to do when he had some nut case bashing him around the head while most of the onlookers looked on. The times I jumped up and down on behalf of our youngsters was more successful at times than others, and it's something I wish I could oh so be doing right this very second, and as tempting as it is I don't mean up & down on the culprits head. I love the idea of going over the schools head and reporting the assault to the police! Also OBS suggestions of putting it in writing to the school and the DET(?) The school has a responsibility to maintain a duty of care which they have seem to have failed on both a physical AND mental level for EVERYONE involved including the older boy :-( Everyone that saw what happened will have had some attitude about it. Let's hope some of them took on your daughter's righteous outrage!!! Caring hugs to you n yours, I so feel for you all! Mrs P
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RHP User
15 years ago
I cant begin to tell you what a sense of relief & vindication your words provided. May seem a strange set of emotions, however having just this second finalized conversations with both the Dept of Ed & the police, this is the only venue where I felt heard. To the credit of both Dept's however, action is 'pending' whatever that means. In the interim, the school informed the offending child's mother who agreed her child should apologize to his victims & attend 'the planning room for a few days (during lunch)...??? It is my intention to do just as you suggest, OBS and put this matter in writing. Mrs P: For any adult to stand idly by & consent to the assault of a child in their care is reprehesible. Nothing appears to have changed. Trained professionals & educators are clearly ill equipt to adequately administer appropriate intervention where violence in schools & workplaces are concerned. Policies & procedures, even laws are not worth the paper they're written on. Thank you both for your support & concern xxxxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
i had a similar thing happen to my daughter afew weeks ago .. a much bigger kid in her class (Prep) pushed her to the ground and dragged her around .. my mum was dropping her at school that day , so she had words with the kid .. after 10mins he coax my daughter around the side of the building and pushed her into a bush ... I was livid.. Luckily my ex is in the education industry and went and had words with the school as they gave my daughter detention because she pulled her hair comb out and smack him in the head with it. (thats my girl hehe) He threaten to go over their heads and what do u know .. more teachers on duty before school and during lunch breaks..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Remember the feeling of helplessness and aloneness as well, frustration and mostly I think, disillusionment cos you're right that not a lot seems to have changed. I remember hearing the same lines and pushing to find out they really don't mean anything because we're talking about children. They're not taken seriously while I believe every moment we live through makes a difference to all the moments ahead of us.Incredibly pleased to hear the mother has come to the party! Hope that apology makes a sincere difference. The planning room thing is good on one hand that it keeps him away from the youngsters for a bit but only useful in the long term if the learns something from it. Now is the time, why wait until the third strike to take a growing problem seriously. Strike a person once and that might be the last chance they get! :-(So glad to be a supporter, wish I could be there to give you real hugs... Mrs P xoxoxoxxoxox
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