F47
Would you
March 28 2016
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
To understand how a 21 yr old guy thinks.... You would have to be one. They are on a totally different level of life experience at that young age. And they approach things differently, and usually jump head first without thinking about the outcome
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RHP User
10 years ago
Unless he used the word "cougar",or other disrespectful language . I usually respond, "Thank you for the contact and I am flattered,but you are way too young for me" ...xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
But more often than not you receive a nasty reply when you say no thank you. Dammed if you do. Dammed if you don't. So no easy answer to this question.
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sweetgem
10 years ago
Action speaks louder than word Freya 😊and even though the guy didn't use the word "cougar" or any disrespectful language, his action of ignoring my age preference, plus the fact that I am now taking a break from seeking company, he did not show much of a respect either! :-) Ok, maybe offend is not the right word to use, but the disrespectful behaviour that this kid shows is annoying! - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Take it as a compliment. When you are in your 50's and you get a message from someone in their 30's you will be flattered and interested maybe. Age is a number and i dont think twice if someone 21 messages. I will respond for a chat if they seem respectable. Certainly doesnt mean I'm up for a root though. Def too young but I'm always up for learning....or teaching about life experience
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RHP User
10 years ago
"loving having sex with a woman [or man] like you. You look really interesting. If you're looking forward to meeting me, just reply xx" I get those kind of messages on other sites... and they almost always turn out to be scams/fakes. But in this case it's probably someone with little imagination trying their luck, but the message they send out can still be generic (they have used the same message to other people). Unfortunately it takes time to work out the error of your ways without someone correcting/educating you on best approach (in any field of life). When I first joined (and left) rhp and a couple of other adult sites years ago, I was probably guilty of sending too simplified messages (but not necessarily like the above), but it was at a time when the whole scene seemed out of my league. Luckily I have learnt (in more ways than one) since then. The biggest thing I learnt was patience, the message above at least shows no pressure but is obviously jumping the gun a little. At best, he is at least making an effort. A effort which is likely to be futile, but I'm sure most of us have been guilty of that.
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Seachange73
10 years ago
I agree with Freya. Why be offended? Why stress out? You have been here long enough to know this comes with the territory. When you (or anybody) puts up a profile, people who read or browse it (or not, which is the likely scenario) can send you a message regardless of whether they match what you seek. I get propositions like this all the time from people that do not match my criteria - women, married or attached men, couples and people too young or too old. Meh... 'Thanks but no thanks". Shrug your shoulders, then move on. There is nothing in RHP to stop them sending the message to you, except for screen notification that they don't match your basic criteria, and they will ignore it. They are driven by their sexual urge and at 21, there are no brakes on these urges. Lol. So, take is as a compliment that someone finds you attractive, smile and move on. Lots of bigger fish in the pond to catch.
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RHP User
10 years ago
...got it in one. Sounds more to me like a very typical 21 year young male trying it on...and perhaps he has had a bit of luck with others. There are exceptions to almost every rule and often our profiles are more guidelines to our preferences...in an offhand way, it could have also been construed as a compliment of sorts. Of course at 21, a lot of young men take a bit of a shotgun approach to meeting new people...could be he's just a bit "overly enthusiastic". I'd call this one as "no harm no foul" and not waste any more of your time stressing about it. All the best........
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Seachange73
10 years ago
What are you waiting for? Hope into your Tardis and away you go to Poland! Can't keep this hottie waiting?
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sweetgem
10 years ago
I was looking for an opportunity to rant 😝😝 as I haven't done so in a thread of my own for a long time 😋 Yes Summer, being me, I would not drop my manners 99.98% of the time no matter how not impressed or upset I am (except for when I got personal attack for nothing 😛). So my response was polite and brief :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Quoting 'sweetgem' Action speaks louder than word Freya 😊and even though the guy didn't use the word "cougar" or any disrespectful language, his action of ignoring my age preference, plus the fact that I am now taking a break from seeking company, he did not show much of a respect either! :-) Ok, maybe offend is not the right word to use, but the disrespectful behaviour that this kid shows is annoying! - Posted from rhpmobile Sweetgem, since you are on a break, would it help you alleviate your stress by going to the General Preferences setting and tick the 'Don't accept new messages'. This way, you do not get any messages from people and you can be left alone. Only drawback is that it blocks all incoming messages. But if unmatched messages really seem to disturb you, it might be worth the setting ? Just a suggestion. Agree with Summer though. I personally didn't read his message as offensive - no lewd language. But that is just my opinion. Take care.
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sweetgem
10 years ago
I get the following two flirts regularly: "You are exactly what I'm looking for. Please message me I'm keen." "I'm looking for some new friends. Please message me if you want to meet." I am going to start ignoring flirts like these from now on, as I have made it clear in my profile that I am not looking for any company at this stage 😋 I did consider of hiding my profile to stop receiving flirts and messages while I'm taking a break, but then I thought to myself, why should I "run" just because of other people's stupidity and disrespectful behaviour? Hence, I keep my profile open and will apply my new strategy for unwanted flirts and messages 😋 - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
10 years ago
I do understand your point and appreciate your suggestion :) but I do not want to stop all messages from coming in as I do interact with my friends on here from time to time. As you know, I have been here for quite some time now, but I have hardly whinged about unwanted messages (which I have endured for all this time) in the open forums 😛 So, this is more like giving a warning to those "one of a kind" people who want to waste their own times in contacting me while my communication line is shut down! 😋 - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
We read and move on to the next. Sometimes with a smile on our dial and sometimes the word "arsehole" slips from our thoughts. But they are just words and pictures at that point. If you dont like the message, thats all it will ever be, words and pictures so no need to let it get to you. Easy.....
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'sweetgem' So, this is more like giving a warning to those "one of a kind" people who want to waste their own times in contacting me while my communication line is shut down! 😋 - Posted from rhpmobile I think you'll find that most of those people don't read the forums
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RHP User
10 years ago
he assumes he already has had sex with you before lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Depends on if they put some effort into their email.If not then no we don't bother, if they have put some effort in then we at least reply just to say no thank you and tell them why. We know how frustrating it can be (both having single profiles previously) so we like to try and make the resounding NO as comfortable as possible for them.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Did he come back at you with the "your loss":... plus several offensive denigrations to paste over their shattered ego?
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sweetgem
10 years ago
I wouldn't know if he would come back at me or not as I also hit the block button after I pressed the send button 😛 - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
10 years ago
I don't let negativity gets to me, that's why I rarely make a brand new forum thread to whinge about those unpleasant experiences that I endure. But I'm having a terrible autumn flu at the moment and so my evil self wins and thus, the creation of this thread 😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
When she sent her reply, the block would have removed all messages/correspondence that they had.so he wouldnt have seen gems message? Is that right people? Im not a blocker, so not sure on that.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hi, you're looking good. There was a thread like this recently that attracted very different comments from what I've seen on your thread. I'm not sure why the difference here but as I said on that thread in the long run. I would simply send the template hubby and I used to use to acknowledge the contact and move along. We found it worked not giving any actual reason aside from the fact that they weren't who we were looking for. We used who rather than what to acknowledge their humanity and it's really not something anyone can argue against. We did get a high ratio of thank you messages and Never explained why other than that in follow up messages. Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Lol @ the twins giving you a bum steer. I had a look at what you were asking Deep. Having all records of contact etc removed would be a good idea wouldn't it, but no such luck. It used to be possible to hot list people who'd blocked you. Thank goodness that changed Peachy
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RHP User
10 years ago
I actually assumed all messages disappeared with being blocked. Cheers for clearing that up for me.
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sweetgem
10 years ago
For your compliment and for your constructive comment regarding template reply, which I truly appreciate it :) I don't have a template response and usually write a brief one back if I'm not interested. I did the same for this young man and said: "Hi [his name], thank you for your message. However, I am only looking for someone similar to my age. I wish you all the best with your search while cruising on RHP." That was all I wrote and am never go nasty at people for no good reason :) As for the similar thread to mine that was made recently, I don't remember seeing it, or maybe I had but my head is glued as mud at the moment 😝 So, I do not know what were the comments on that thread like, but I believe that we attract what we put out there in the first place. Like negative attracts negative, and positive attracts positive kind of theory :-) thus, I expressed my annoyance towards the incident overall instead of belittling the young man in question harshly or nastily because, I am indeed annoyed at the incident instead of the person 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I appreciate your insight overall and that you make that individual reply. As I understood it, you made a lot of effort to look at the person from different perspectives and it is the lack of understanding for the action you are left with that is the problem. I really do hope you feel better soon, feeling sick can be such a drag. Peachy
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RHP User
10 years ago
I get that people get annoyed by strange things and that this bothered you. Fair enough. From my "research" on another site, I found that women who state "not looking for casual sex" on their profile are statistically* 200% more likely to have casual sex with me. My point is, what people say and what people do are often different. The kid** took a shot. Fortune favours the bold. * Sample size waaaay too small to be of statistical significance ** Probably a bot or a person acting like a bot.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Of all the people I have sent messages to on RHP, I am lucky if I get any reply, (even though I ask for one) even though I am respectful and given the effort I have made to contact them, I don't think a simple "thanks but no thanks" is asking too much? It's just good manners & respect in return....2 things that have disappeared from the online world!!! Too easy to hide behind a keyboard and screen!!!
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sweetgem
10 years ago
For the recovery wishes :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
10 years ago
I hope you feel better after getting that frustration off your chest 😛 Not sure if you were meant to send your comment here or not, but "no reply" isn't the question that was asked in my initial post 😋 In regards to your not so successful experience in messaging other women on RHP, I don't know what type of women are your preferred match in terms of looks and body shape/size. But whatever your preferences are, please bear in mind that RHP is no different than any other online sites that there are many fake profiles around! Besides, there are many people on here, me included, have had our fair share of knock backs and/or no reply to our messages too. I definitely got no luck for a long time, before I took my break 😊 Therefore, please be patient and opt for a more positive vibe in the Forums, that might help to change things around for you 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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