M47
Wondering what my wife wants
August 26 2024
I am at a loss when talking or at the start of sex i ask what she wants (positions/toys/Other people) and she says whatever or she doesn't know or what do i want
I have straight up what her fantasies are and she just
Shakes her head and says she doesn't have any
but its like she is embarrassed by it or am i just looking to much into it
I am trying to find a way that she can tell me
Now i am not judgemental or jealous i just want her to open up
So my question is
What can i do or how do i get her to open up ?
TIA
Comments
gazpacho
6 months ago
I reckon some people just run with the vibe. All these plans otherwise get in the way of a good time.
FeistyFatty
6 months ago
I hate being asked "what do you want/what do you like".... Just know..... By osmosis 😘
Andrea_Sydney
6 months ago
Sounds like she’s at the start of her sexual discovery journey. If she can’t voice any fantasies (yet) I would explore different sensations and techniques with her at this stage. It might be good to hop online or get a book and try all sorts of stuff from that. You’ll be surprised about all the stuff you don’t know yet. And the journey is fun and very beneficial.
boobsandbusted
6 months ago
Some people just do t have any fantasies never have never will , my wife is one of them,,just goes with the flow at the time , I thought for years she did but don’t want to talk about it , 10 years later I realised there just wasn’t any in her head , her motto is go with the flow and don’t overthink it or it may not be as good as what was pre thought up in her head
Mr b
Mr b
NatSquared
6 months ago
It's pretty common to have trouble answering a frank question like that, we're both like that a lot of the time. We don't know your Mrs specifically, but it could be she's simply not craving anything in particular, or if she is it's not enough to want to bother with it.
If she's game then I suggest taking the initiative, ask her if YOU can do something, or tell her how you want her and go from there. We find exposure to new things helps a lot too, it gives us stuff to talk about and try out for ourselves.
nightingale8
6 months ago
Good on you for asking what she wants. She’s given you several answers so now you can stop asking.
If your wife is like most women, you’re doing the opposite of what turns her on. Build romance, work the spaces, show her some adventure and new ways of doing things without needing to have her approval. If you want to show her new things to try, set it up so it’s easy for her to participate should she want to. As long as your wife is open to being led you have a lot you can explore together
MsSuperFoxy
6 months ago
She's not embarrassed dude. Asking her straight up is pressuring her and is turning her off. No wonder she shakes her head. I would too.
If a guy can't not read my body language or listen when I say something, that's going to piss me right off. 😤
Take it easy. Take the pressure and expectations off and just fuck her brains out.
Ms Foxy
Kt_Kcouple
6 months ago
It might be fun to both separately do a ‘yes/no/maybe’ list-you can find online-I think I found from ‘sex with Emily’ website-she has a popular sex positive podcast. This list has a really comprehensive list of things from the vanilla to very kinky -then you can compare lists.. at least a fun way to get the conversation started with less confrontation and pressure.
73bandit
6 months ago
Just do what you want and see what happens.
Havinaball3
6 months ago
In same position, no desires or fancy whatsoever, just sex occasionally
seekandplay
6 months ago
She genuinely might not have any, or… she just might not know what there is. I had no idea what existed in this world until I started going down lots of rabbit holes and having very deep conversations with girlfriends. Also, just another perspective (respectfully) - the mental load on a woman is huge. Our brains *never* switch off, especially if there are also children in the mix. Perhaps rather than making her think of another thing, start suggesting ‘I thought it would be fun to try this together’, pick something small and see how she responds. How does her body respond? Her breathing? Her moaning? Slowly build from there. Don’t pick the wildest thing on YOUR list, but start with something like a new toy, or having sex somewhere completely different in the house. Good luck!
gazpacho
6 months ago
Yeah, I never understand the shopping list requests. It’s far more fun trying to read the signals. If you only ever listened to things people say you’d nod off an hour after “lick my ear hole like you’d lick my arse”
MrandMrsEss
6 months ago
Some great advice here. From someone who has a partner who is naturally very sexually shy and submissive I know it can be hard to get them to open up to what THEY really want instead of doing things they think you want.
The best advice I can give is to talk about these things when you are not having sex. Much more easy to talk over a coffee then put into action what you’ve learned later. Good luck, it’s always worth the effort.
RHP User
6 months ago
Talking about sex should be one better way to know what they want and also help boost confidence during future sexual encounters.
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