M53

Why will men not commit?

September 26 2010

I have heard this question a few times and I have also wondered with relationships today what are the chances of ever lasting love etc? Soul mate and all that Jazz. One of my best mates is a female and she has asked the question, " Why won't men commit" a heap of her friends ask the same question. I have asked guys from time to time when out what they reckon the reason is and I have also asked girls the same question....So lets throw it out there and see if we can get some clarity? Some of the answers I have heard are as follows: I am way too young, having a ball - commitment maybe when older more than 50% of marriages end up in divorce anyway there are too many girls, can't just settle for one. I don't wanna haqve kids...as soon as she talks kids Im out! My mum left my dad....he ended up with nothing! wont let it happen to me. Commit and stand to lose your house and kids ...worked to hard for what i got I bet other guys have other reasons, but these are some that I have heard and then some. But as my mate said it is a dangerous financial risk. I am 37 getting close to 40. I lost heaps in my divorce and thats ok now, but i proabaly would have been better of financially today otherwise. At a party recently with a bunch of 20 something guys... a lot of think marriage / commitment is something to be careful of. We were out on a bucks nite and the 25 yr old dude about to get married was copping it big time. It certainly isn't like it was 50 years ago and the idea of family, true love and commitment is harder today than ever. And some guys don't seem to want to take the risk?

Comments

RHP User

15 years ago

My last relations hip ended because my commitment wasnt enough i did all of the things you would do when married , kids, mortgage,changed my ways ,however my only thing from the start was that i did not believe in marridge which was agreed on .But after 15 years she wanted a wedding and for me to change more , bloody one way street so see ya later might as well be single again.Unfortunately for me i am a loyal person will probably happen again , no regrets still friends and all .

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

Heaps of stuff is soooo much easier when you have a partner in crime. I don't care what anyone says about marriage... You just can't beat it if you've found someone you love to live with. Plus to not get married for fear of divorce is so negative. I couldn't live that way. So if you're worried about losing all your cash marry someone with more money than you have. Jesus that's so pathetic. It's only stuff. Burn the lot and live in a caravan park. People are too quick to walk out the door. Well walk out the door, spend a couple hours away and then go home again. I mean how hard can that be? Hugs Stalky

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

Sorry to be a smart ass feisty gal here but not all relationships or committment involve children or a platinum ring on a finger.... so it cannot be simply about the financial risks of cohabiting. Some people want commitment to simply mean being in a loving, respectful relationship with both people investing equally. To use your own parents relationship as any basis for your own decisions is just stupid - you are your own person, a separate entity and a whole new set of beliefs and experiences. I mean you don't have one bad meal then never eat again right?? For the record here, my parents had a very strange split when i was younger so i know from experience it shouldnt taint my love life. Why do men not commit - seems to be a variety of reasons - the enjoyment of playing around, fear of letting in too close to their well guarded defenses, the love of independence etc etc. I've heard many reasons from ex's about not wanting to commit - usually poor ones; 'Oh but some woman may take half my house' even when there was an agreement about legal agreements being drawn up to protect hard earned assets. For me personally i just think it simply comes down to the fact if you truly love someone and trust them you take the risk to be with them. You risk your heart, your secrets, your daggy dancing .... every part of you. life without risk is just not really living.... not to say you can't have fun along the way ;) but when someone really spectacular comes along you fall in love with then you walk over hot coals to be with them.

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

Seeing as i am in committed relationship. Though i do understand, the enormous financial risk males face should the relationship go pear shaped.You only have to cohabit in a relationship for two years to be entitled without even being married.Hell you don't even have to cohabit with the introduction of the "Mistress Law"I have watched a couple of mates go through this, one was forced to sell up the family farm, the other sadly took his own life.It seems all to often guys walk away from court with little more than the shirt on their back, So naturally all this encourages guys to avoid any relationship that may be more than fleeting.Cheers Nev

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

does that count,,,,,,,,, ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha Earl

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

but we are all human and ultimately seeking happiness and im sure if two people connect with same visions the chances are a relationship! there are many types of relationships if its good why not? Yes sex is a big part, but sharing special times and experiences is a wonderful thing, love, respect and passion! xxx

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

Quoting 'mynameisearl2' does that count,,,,,,,,, ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha Earl do you want some company in that straight jacket??? i think il be right there beside you roxxy

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

I believe that you can make a commitment in any number of ways ... and so does the law of course. That said, all the legal issues and documents aside...it does come from inside and not an enforceable act jurisprudence. Marriage is a great institution... | ...for those wanting to be institutionalized!

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

If your worth it of course we will

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

it's a fallacy that "men won't commit". They're just not committing to the woman asking that question. I know plenty of guys who played the field, blah blah, and then they got struck by the big love bug and met that person they want to grow old with and they had no problems making that commitment. Commitment doesn't need to be marriage, and living with someone for 12 months (I think de-facto is back to 12months, it changes all the time) is just like being married anyway, especially if you throw children into the equation. Hahahaha like I can even comment not being in a relationship at this point in time.

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

Damn you PBG I was going to say the same thing. To the girls whining he is afraid of commitment, it is more likely that he just doesn't want to commit to YOU - whining and badgering the bloke about it doesn't make you more attractive or likely to get what you want. Cause then you've just got the guy thinking about two things, being nagged, and the concept of forever. :)

reply

like
RHP User

15 years ago

Easy one to answer. Because I'm a slut!

reply

like

Why will men not commit?

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help