F64
Why married women dont want sex with hubby
April 08 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have no idea why married women stop wanting to have sex with their husbands. Yes maybe they are bored or they have fallen out of love, or are too busy with family and other commitments and have lost sex drive are too tired, can't be bothered. I don't know. And if these women would prefer to go without well I hope they are prepared when they find out that their husbands aren't. xxMeeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
lmfao... hell yeah.. go without..Lock the legs together... that'll learn him what you want. All men are bastards... when taken for granted find their jollies elsewhere... I mean to say.. how dare they!! the best revenge is to make sure when they do find their jollies elsewhere, its to go to all his friends and family and bleat about it so you get lots and lots of sympathy... and then you can divorce him without it being "your fault". That'll teach him for trying to make you feel sexy.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Settle Stalkyboy - I don't think she is saying that exactly. She is saying that married women would rather go without than teach their stupid arse husbands how to be good in bed. :P Receipe for disaster for sure, and I suppose your right when the inevitable divorce happens, well yes, he was the one who cheated so the lady who has worked tirelessy looking after his house and children without a thought for herself deserves the sympathy. xxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Settle Stalkyboy - I don't think she is saying that exactly. She is saying that married women would rather go without than teach their stupid arse husbands how to be good in bed. :P Receipe for disaster for sure, and I suppose your right when the inevitable divorce happens, well yes, he was the one who cheated so the lady who has worked tirelessy looking after his house and children without a thought for herself deserves the sympathy. xxMeeks Ask me how I know......I dare ya!
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captainkaos
15 years ago
I was talking to a cousin of mine who said that she hasn't had sex in quite some time. They are in another state so I haven,t seen her "older" husband in a few years but apparently he has put on considerable weight and he doesn't turn her on anymore......... With women in general, there may be quite a few other reasons as well. Working long hours and being tired. Having many kids, I would imagine that sometimes sex may be the last thing on a womans mind? I would hope that if the husband is crap in bed, after all the years of marriage she might want to educate the selfish prick. Although, I guess that there is just no teaching some people. Premature ejaculators obviously have a problem but I would have thought that they still would have helped their wives orgasm via other methods.............
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RHP User
15 years ago
I wish my hubby was good in bed but he never made me orgasm not ever and that's over 10 years of no orgasming I told him constantly but to no avail so I took matters into my own hands sad as it may seem. I only started to squirt when I got on here.
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RHP User
15 years ago
.......it's over in 5 minutes and I need at least an hour.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'captainkaos' I was talking to a cousin of mine who said that she hasn't had sex in quite some time. They are in another state so I haven,t seen her "older" husband in a few years but apparently he has put on considerable weight and he doesn't turn her on anymore......... With women in general, there may be quite a few other reasons as well. Working long hours and being tired. Having many kids, I would imagine that sometimes sex may be the last thing on a womans mind? I would hope that if the husband is crap in bed, after all the years of marriage she might want to educate the selfish prick. Although, I guess that there is just no teaching some people. Premature ejaculators obviously have a problem but I would have thought that they still would have helped their wives orgasm via other methods............. I would have thought that too sadly not the case. I was one of the ones who spoke out, I'd had the kids so that was not an issue cos I still WANTED sex, I brought up the prem. ejaculation problem as hard as it was, and even had me in tears because I didnt want to hurt HIS feelings, (pfff what a joke now) and had practically begged him to do the holding off exercises the fantastic doctor had given him (and THAT is something that is very hard for me to do). There was no, round 2 even with blue pills if I didnt get a wriggle on in the first one, that was my chance gone. Once my ex had cum it was game over. Did he then finish me off some other way???? nope, lazy ass selfish prick . So why do the legs shut up shop? cos sometimes you have tried telling them what you would like and it still makes no diff. why the hell would we get ourselves all stimulated everytime to lay there fuming afterwards ?? Not cricket !!
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RHP User
15 years ago
they feel they have the right to take away the "Cookie" with no pre warning! I thought once the ring went on that it made the vag dry up? xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Not sure but i know for a fact that once i knew i wanted out i stopped giving a shit about 'can't have sex til we fix all the feeeeeeeeeewings bit' and just wanted to FUCK. Confused the hell out of the poor ex tho, he couldn't understand why i wanted to leave since 'everything seemed fine'. Apparently sex=everything in man-brain???xx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
They married the man, surely if he wasnt what they wanted then why did they do it? I bet not many of them were virgins when they did marry so they sampled the goods first. A lot of them give it out often enough before the wedding. I spent 20 years in a relationship and he never failed to satisfy me before himself. There was plenty else wrong with the relationship but the sex was always good. The married men I have spent a bit of time with from this site...it is beyond me why thier wives dont want sex with them. Even if the woman just wriggled her arse up against him in the early hours of the morning and let him slip inside for a while. Does not take long in the morning and off he goes to work...all happy and smug within himself. Then he can take care of serious business at a later date when she does feel more in the mood. I dont think it is a problem of them finding him a boring fuck. I have wondered this exact question for many years now. It appears that when the wedding ring lands on the finger, the woman just shuts up shop. (NOT ALL) Towards the older years many do not want sex. This can be a hormonal thing. I knew one woman who decided that sex was for having kids, she didnt want any more ids so didnt see the need for any more sex. Selfish attitude I know but if I had to put up with her husband I would feel the same way. I do nderstand theat then the poor guy is driven to find sex elsewhere. We all know how long we can last without and how it becomes the only thought on your mind when you just aint gettin' any.
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RHP User
15 years ago
This bit here Fiona..... We all know how long we can last without and how it becomes the only thought on your mind when you just aint gettin' any. Just the other day a friend told me her husband had not touched her in 6 yrs.......well I spat my coffee clear across the room......what on earth?????? SIX years...good grief Charlie Brown, I never went six days without something at least.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' This bit here Fiona..... We all know how long we can last without and how it becomes the only thought on your mind when you just aint gettin' any. Just the other day a friend told me her husband had not touched her in 6 yrs.......well I spat my coffee clear across the room......what on earth?????? SIX years...good grief Charlie Brown, I never went six days without something at least.I woulda followed the sucker to see where he was gettin' it and then left! Imagine sleeping beside the man and not being able to at least lean over and help yourself....Sad!
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RHP User
15 years ago
A lot of women and couples that I have known in my past married life, live a life of convenience - married, kids, nice house, nice cars, nice lifestyle - all good for outside appearances...... but in the bedroom it is a different story... they dont share intimacy, or each other in a sensual sexual experience. I guess it takes two to make it worth the effort that is needed to keep the fires burining at home. And I am not a man so have not experienced 'gotta get it elsewhere' I think it is mostly a matter of boredom and routine, I know whats gonna happen... same old same old...... that turns each other off each other.... being 'in love' makes it a hell lot easier to share and be intimate with your partner... if love n respect goes - then you have lost it all....
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RHP User
15 years ago
ok trying to be patial here and must say i agree with most of the statements so far.however lets also look at the other side of the coin some woman let them self go after they have the ring and kids now we all know we all want the body we all had when we first met but unfortunatly over the years we all give into gravity. also everyone has to really work at satifying each other as marriage /sex is not a one way street I personally adore seeing/hearing the female being totally satisfied and have even left after a session without being shall we say done lol but hey thats me I learnt ages ago its better to satisfy the woman totally as it usually ends in a return bout and in my little book there is no word such as fat to me its more play area and my wife agrees so there's my twenty cents worth
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RHP User
15 years ago
Next time you want your hair styled, go to Joh Bailey with a very definite idea of what you want done, but don't under any circumstance tell him what you want. When you get something other than what you want, you'll be able to tell your friends what a crap hair stylist he is.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I've been married 19 yrs, i have 2 nearly adult kids, my hubby is 10yrs older than me, and I am a size 10 bottom half and 14 top half.I don't get ANY at home as my hubby says I'm fat and he doesn't shag fat birds!! Thats fine, don't know where he is getting his - according to his bestie he isn't getting it anywhere!! Not my problem!!It's his choice, but while I may be on here and no, he doesn't know, I can still have some and get to meet new people and have a giggle too!
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RHP User
15 years ago
If 10, 12, 14, 16 is fatwhat does he like women who turn sideways and disappearor need to be strapped down in a slight breezeor ones that snap so you know their freshsomeone needs a reality check
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deltoid
15 years ago
While I don't doubt there are some husbands who are crap in bed and this is the reason the wife goes of sex. Just as there are some husbands who are complete arsewipes (telling your wife she is fat and he does not shag fat women) or selfish pricks who could not care if their wife is satisified. In these cases the reason the husband is not getting any sex from his wife is clearly his fault It is a massive gerneralisation though to state this is the only reason a wife loses interest in sex. There can be countless other factors and combination of factors that may lead a wife or husband for that matter to no longer want sex. There maybe bigger problems in the relationship away from sex that are the fault of either or both partners. There can be physical and or psychological problems, things like depression, hormal imbalances, body image issues (especially where one ofr both partners have put on weight), work and or family pressures the list is endless. It is IMO extremely naive to assume the only reason a wife would not want sex is because the husband is a bad lay.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Feel_Me_ACT' If 10, 12, 14, 16 is fatwhat does he like women who turn sideways and disappearor need to be strapped down in a slight breezeor ones that snap so you know their freshsomeone needs a reality check Very funny! Merrywife - it sounds like an excuse to me, unless you are only 3 feet tall.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ha ha!! Nope I'm not 3 feet tall. 5 feet and 8 inches!! And his lack of anything used to bother me but not now. I find friends!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Many people have their reasons and I'd say it varies... Speaking mostly from my own married experience - which includes sex but not as frequent as I'd like - as my wife would put it I'd have it all the time :-) We have discussed it all - over and over again, and I'd say there is no particular reason... we just have different needs. My wife loves her quickies - she can be done in 5 min flat, I need hours and there is no time for that... so after all the debates and searches of adventure (yes, I did actually think that I was boring and it was beacuse I was not good until I tested my skills elsewhere and was told otherwise :-)The main point in all this discussion of married life is that there are two people involved - they have made a commitment at some point in their lives (the white-hot merry_wife says 19 years ago - that is a long time) and they were in love. Things have developed over time and they might have changed views on some of their ideals, so no longer feel the same - are people not entitled to that...? Come on you hard-liners, admit it - people change, and not necessarily completely... some people do change their attitude and have different needs in the bedroom, that does not necessarily mean that they no longer love their partner. I still love my wife, we have sex to fulfill each others needs, we love our kids and as family live happily. We discuss our differences - even those of sexual nature, and we live with them... we accept that one of us has more needs than the other, it is not easy, especially emotionally and in view of the society's standard perception that we are from this moment on only to have sex with one another and nowhere else... but - we know the reality is different, we are grown ups for f%*ks sake !!!Maybe I should have answered briefly - well, some married women simply do not need as much sex as they used to when they were younger.. they still ove getting flowers, being out for romantic dinners, but prefer not to have a dick stuck to them every time to spoil their moment - and that is their right. If the hubby wants to then stick the dick somoewhere else they need to understand and accept that. And the nice ones do, we love them for it :-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'merrywife'I've been married 19 yrs, i have 2 nearly adult kids, my hubby is 10yrs older than me, and I am a size 10 bottom half and 14 top half. I don't get ANY at home as my hubby says I'm fat and he doesn't shag fat birds!! Thats fine, don't know where he is getting his - according to his bestie he isn't getting it anywhere!! Not my problem!! It's his choice, but while I may be on here and no, he doesn't know, I can still have some and get to meet new people and have a giggle too!Part of emotional cruelty...to make you feel soooo bad about yourself. It is a control situation without appearing to be one. Good on you for not letting it get to you. Leave the sucker. Let him find a stick insect intead.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee'Part of emotional cruelty...to make you feel soooo bad about yourself. It is a control situation without appearing to be one. Good on you for not letting it get to you. Leave the sucker. Let him find a stick insect intead. Don't be thinking that's a one-way street. Women do that sort of thing too - they're the masters of using sex for control.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I got to the bottom of this page and forgot what the subject was.... Im not very bright but i can lift heavy things, and I fuck like a trooper!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Bettina Arndt wrote two whole books about thisCheersMr. SR
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RHP User
15 years ago
So after reading what all you ladies have to say, and I have read this for years now, how come the "good guys", the ones who take the effort to make sure that their wives/partners are satisfied, the good guys are the ones who get the short shift the cold shoulder and shunned? I have always listened to what my partner feels about things and taken the effort to make sure that she comes first and if not then shortly after but it has got me nowhere in the long run.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Here is how it may go... Wife ..." How was your day darl ?? " Hubby.." it was shithouse" Wife.." mine too the kids were real shits today" hubby.." KIDS STOP BEING A PAIN TO YOUR MOTHER " wife.." head job darl ?" Hubby .." nah just grab me a beer ah "
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RHP User
15 years ago
Man Man is a womans best friend He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her on a bad day. . He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do......to live without fear and forget regret. . He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give into her most intimate desires. . He will make sure she always feels that she is the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive and invincible. . . No wait... .......sorry..... I am thinking of WINE ! . Its wine that does all of that... ....sorry. ....this is just a little something I read somewhere, maybe therein lies some reasons why? . btwI have never had any reasons to'close up shop'
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RHP User
15 years ago
Because they are selfish and only thinking of themselves. They think they've done the hard yards they're all secure in their nice little home with their white pickett fence and HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TOUCH ME YUK!! Well us guys have got news for ya WE DONT WANT TO TOUCH YOU!!! We would rather touch someone that responds to our attention, someone that isnt complacent, someone that feels sexy (its in the mind girls) someone that still wants to have fun AND SOMEONE THAT WANTS TO BE LOVED!!! If a person cant love themselves they find it hard to alow someone to them in return. SO GET SOME THERAPY LADYS AND GET IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
If the wives stopped giving instruction : Do it this way A bit here Faster, moan, moan, scream etc etc And stayed quiet, Their husbands would get the job done so much faster. Cheers!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'fionabee'Part of emotional cruelty...to make you feel soooo bad about yourself. It is a control situation without appearing to be one. Good on you for not letting it get to you. Leave the sucker. Let him find a stick insect intead. Don't be thinking that's a one-way street. Women do that sort of thing too - they're the masters of using sex for control.But was actually commenting on HER particular comment
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'Snowshoe'Don't be thinking that's a one-way street. Women do that sort of thing too - they're the masters of using sex for control.But was actually commenting on HER particular comment Fair enough. I guess I was just a little irked at the sentiment running through this thread that if a woman decides that she doesn't want sex with her husband, it must mean that he's a dud root. Many women's libido completely crashes when they approach menopause - given the age of the OP, wouldn't that have been a fairly logical reason for sex drying up in a marriage? It seems odd to conclude that it must be the man's fault...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' they feel they have the right to take away the "Cookie" with no pre warning! I thought once the ring went on that it made the vag dry up? xFunlovingxctually I was once married to a man for 11 months - yes thats right 11 months!!!!!! Couldnt stand the thought of the 12 month anniversary and it was him he went soft not me who dried up lol.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sorry pressed "post comment" before I'd finished.... When I told my parents I had to leave him, they said youmade your bed you have to lie in it lol....But when I told dad he wouldn't have sex - Dad said "no daughter of mine is living without sex" lol - hewent home got his trailer and moved me out that night...............
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Taipan12' Here is how it may go... Wife ..." How was your day darl ?? " Hubby.." it was shithouse" Wife.." mine too the kids were real shits today" hubby.." KIDS STOP BEING A PAIN TO YOUR MOTHER " wife.." head job darl ?" Hubby .." nah just grab me a beer ah " The above is definately how it went in one of my long term relationships...while I dont have kids the sentiment was the same.....long day...he was tired...just wanted to relax...my sex drive higher than his...he wasnt in the mood nearly as often as I was...I went looking elsewhere...and subsequently moved on...it wasnt that I didnt want sex with him...he was more often than not not in the mood and his favourite was the quickie in the morning before he went to work....did nothing for me but I never turned him away....until I left that is . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
Deltoid (i especially appreciate the thought that went into what u wrote :)) and Taipan I totally agree! , how do I put this... YOU R A DICKHEAD! said..
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RHP User
15 years ago
My iPhone munched thru some of my post?! The dickhead I was referring to (wouldn't be hard to guess really) is TallandFit, u sound like quite the catch... NOT!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I feel I have had enough sex with my husband after 18 years - been there done that! I keep looking at other men and thinking how it would be with them, how they would look naked, how they would feel in bed etc.
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Mr_MrsJones
15 years ago
I have to say I read the initial post and found myself nodding as I feel that in some of these relationships this is definitely the case. I was once the wife who didn't want to have sex. I can't tell you the reason why I didn't want to have sex. Maybe it was that I was tired, maybe he didn't do it right, maybe once you have been asked and have to say no too many times the joy goes out of the whole topic and neither of you know how to get past it. I have no idea. I am still married to the same man and now things are a whole lot better. How did we get here? I really don't have a clear picture. I guess we just bashed each other up for a while (not literally) and then eventually went at it from a different angle or probably several different angles. I will say this though. A guy can be a regular super stud but if his girl doesn't feel good about herself she won't enjoy the sex. Sometimes he is the one who makes her feel bad, sometimes she is the one who makes her feel bad. BUT if she doesn't get past it she just won't enjoy sex and yes I think many women who don't enjoy something just go without rather than put the effort into finding what they want. That probably didn't make a lot of sense and I could write a whole lot more but I think I have confused everyone enough. Mrs Jones.
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RHP User
15 years ago
no marriage for me..
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RHP User
15 years ago
1. Kids - biggest passion killers known to man. Hubby sees wife as a mother and his attitude can change. Wife may not have her pre baby body and not feel like she is attractive to her hubby. Not to mention post baby blues that hubby can suffer from as well as his wife.2. Communication or lack of it - It's not that hubby is not good in bed, it's just that the wife doesn't have the confidence or whatever to be able to tell her hubby what she likes to have done to her. And the reverse applies as lots of hubbies can't communicate their needs either. 3. Sexual compatibility - I know of several people (myself included) that looked for sexual compatibility in a partner before making any sort of commitment. I don't know how many times I have had married guys come to me because their wives are not into being dominant in the bedroom. Generally it is a different situation when it comes to submissive women.There are too many different and varied reasons like depression, time constraints, pressure of work, or simple hormonal fluctuations (oh ok, PMS then!) that cause loss of libido. Or quite simply, maybe hubby has let himself go......
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT' 2. Communication or lack of it - It's not that hubby is not good in bed, it's just that the wife doesn't have the confidence or whatever to be able to tell her hubby what she likes to have done to her. And the reverse applies as lots of hubbies can't communicate their needs either. There are too many different and varied reasons like depression, time constraints, pressure of work, or simple hormonal fluctuations (oh ok, PMS then!) that cause loss of libido. Or quite simply, maybe hubby has let himself go...... Communication, or lack there of affects the male interest in sex as much in some cases as it does the female. My ex was full on keen for the sex and the white dress, even wanted the whole princess treatment but as I was told later had never felt comfortable talking to me. She wanted to be desired desperately but gave nothing personally being emotionally cold. It makes it real hard from a male perspective to get excited when you there is no emotional warmth to really want to make that move. It's like trying to cook a microwave dinner in the freezer.... We would go out and she would ignore me or speak about work with friends till i got bored and walked away then get grumpy if I was talking to other women, because I should of course be concentrating on her. My interests became our interests as there were other women around and they had no issue talking to me hence there was never anything that we did seperately except work. Not really a constructive type of relationship Brad
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Spirit_fella' Quoting 'MistressT' 2. Communication or lack of it - It's not that hubby is not good in bed, it's just that the wife doesn't have the confidence or whatever to be able to tell her hubby what she likes to have done to her. And the reverse applies as lots of hubbies can't communicate their needs either. There are too many different and varied reasons like depression, time constraints, pressure of work, or simple hormonal fluctuations (oh ok, PMS then!) that cause loss of libido. Or quite simply, maybe hubby has let himself go...... Communication, or lack there of affects the male interest in sex as much in some cases as it does the female. My ex was full on keen for the sex and the white dress, even wanted the whole princess treatment but as I was told later had never felt comfortable talking to me. She wanted to be desired desperately but gave nothing personally being emotionally cold. It makes it real hard from a male perspective to get excited when you there is no emotional warmth to really want to make that move. It's like trying to cook a microwave dinner in the freezer.... We would go out and she would ignore me or speak about work with friends till i got bored and walked away then get grumpy if I was talking to other women, because I should of course be concentrating on her. My interests became our interests as there were other women around and they had no issue talking to me hence there was never anything that we did seperately except work. Not really a constructive type of relationship BradSounds like there was no communication from either side in that relationship. Communication is not just about telling someone what you want. It is also about listening to them as well. I have seen too many relationships where one partner was too scared to communicate their needs to the other with the result that they are spending years with someone they no longer want to get intimate with. I find it very sad.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Neither may posess the knowledge how to overcome obstacles. Either may not posess the will to do so. Both could identify a 'wedge' or two blocking the way to a fulfilling sex-life between them. Complacency steps in.... With nowhere to turn, they turn on one another. Blame throwing, Even kitchen utensil throwing, No love in that, but love cannot save the day, when each go their own way....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting Merrywife I don't get ANY at home as my hubby says I'm fat and he doesn't shag fat birds!! Bump THAT loser! My wife could weigh 250kgs and I would still try to shag her every night! (I have an uncanny knack for developing fetishes for her current situation - pregnancy, lactating etc -- it's all part of the service I offer...) Stress, I have found is the biggest impediment to our sex life. Work (mostly), kids, whatever the cause. Body image would be number two. I LOVE the way my wife looks and tell her so, often. But it is how she perceives herself that can give the insecurities. Men (myself included) are not immune from this either. Quoting MistressT Or quite simply, maybe hubby has let himself go...... Oh please. You need to disciplined! Quoting Belinda 43 I feel I have had enough sex with my husband after 18 years - been there done that! I keep looking at other men and thinking how it would be with them, how they would look naked, how they would feel in bed etc. Not here to judge, as I couldn't care less, but if a MAN had have said THAT in these forums, he would have been SLAMMED against the wall!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well - I did say that, in conversation with my wife, who does have sex with me, and we are still best friends and lovers, although she's not "in love" as she would like to be... yes, seduction etc all works fine at times, but the "opening up" to other partners for a female is not easy - just look at the topic of of How To Sell Open R'ship: http://www.redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/How-to-sell-a-Open-relationship-to-a-single-person-not-in-the-scene-32795 - the society's perception is still mostly for exclsive monogamous marriage that's why we're mostly so uncomfortable to talk about it...
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