Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment when love begins but we always know when it ends?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I am pregnant ..and then two year later oh I am pregnant...... And the entire time I am thinking Who is this woman that roles up every now and tells me she is pregnant? To this day I still don’t know her

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'wowwow09' I am pregnant ..and then two year later oh I am pregnant...... And the entire time I am thinking Who is this woman that roles up every now and tells me she is pregnant? To this day I still don’t know her Sorry.. I don't quite follow... I was really looking for something more along the lines of... "I knew I loved her at the moment she surprised me meeting me at the door with bubble wrap, baby oil, candles and a wicked smile..." or "every day he was away from me he sent me a a racy email complete with a pic of him in my underwear that's when I knew" Stuff that would make us laugh or smile or go wow-no wonder you stepped towards them...this post kind of makes me picture a car crash and years of misery rather than the beginning of something wonderful... I'm really left scratching my head at what the hell you are talking about...wowwow09 If you were the father it makes perfect sense why she would tell you..and if you were that unhappy with the outcome how did you let it happen twice or not teach her to swallow in two years? If you were not the sperm donor/father...perhaps she only perservered in her contact with you as from when she met you she never could believe you were not a lost cause..despite so much overwhelming evidence to the contrary.. There's some hidden message in this post...not sure if it's meant for me to glean meaning from or someone else out there to interpret or understand as we don't have all the information about it...so let's explore or draw out some of the possibilities from the text... One possibility is... Maybe you were her ex and maybe she just wanted to check in on you-every now and then...as when a woman is pregnant she does feel a little high and happy...kind of similar to but not as distasteful as when you guys call your exes or someone new you know really digs you but you actually hold in complete contempt for her feelings for you..you know when you're drunk and lonely and/or feeling nostalgic being aware of her vulnerabilities and desire for you-you go on in for the kill-no matter the collateral damage... NB pregnant women aren't usually that calculating... Maybe she knew you better than you ever bothered to get to know her...and because she now felt valued and secure in her new relationship and also full of love happiness whilst pregnant she could deal with you and your crazy talk/s*** better than ever before...so she'd have some news to contact you about initially and then further the conversation to try to get some answers as to why you went completely nuts back then...or maybe she's just a career masochist? Maybe she had always had this impossible dream for you to be the father of her children..and maybe this was her way of having the closest thing to that-a conversation with you while the children that should have been yours were in her... Maybe it had become an impossible dream because of the drug crazed psychosis you had a few years earlier that saw her, see you-wrap a cord around your neck and try to strangle yourself, totally destroy a brand new surfboard with a hammer because there were no waves, hit her, destroy furniture and crockery or hold a knife to her throat...and the rest....you know the stuff you maybe pretended never happened and didn't tell you your "cool" friends or "wealthy" "well known" family about... Maybe you should remember despite your current disdain and obvious contempt that she never called the police on you...not due to codependence but because she genuinely didn't want to add to your problems....or have you lose your "important" job or damage your family's "reputation". Maybe she also didn't ask for any financial settlement that she was likely very entitled...yet it didn't stop all the "gold-digger" or "meal-ticket" talk...maybe money never impressed her anyway...still doesn't.. Maybe she knew just how important it was for you (with unaddressed abandonment issues to do with your cold, distant unfeeling depressed mother) to be loved unconditionally and that's why you dislike her-she knows you're secret-your weakness your need to be adored...as you had always needed to have a woman, any available woman there for you to insult or belittle to feel better about yourself... Maybe it was just her indefatigable inherent altruism or maybe just rare yet true compassion that compelled her to be your very own one woman outreach program for abusive duplicitous nihilistic narcissists for far longer than you ever actually deserved? Maybe she was just of the opinion that even if you were fighting, feisty or downright rude and insulting when she contacted you just to say hello-she at least knew you were breathing and that was enough for her... Maybe she felt because sometimes knowing someone you once cared about (rightly or wrongly) is still breathing is far more important than worrying about who was right, who was wrong as it's usually quite obvious who is the unhealthy one-as they're usually the one into the blatant self-destruction further enabled by a drug supplying idiotic interloping co-dependent maniacal (beyond anything outlined or defined within the pages of the DSM-IV) skanky ho.. Maybe she took pity on you as she could see how lost you really were, having fallen so low, despite your facade of nonchalance and laconic humour, by constantly feeling sorry for yourself and justifying your bad behaviour or acting out rather than seeing the reality that you are in fact an adult responsible for your life which although hadn't worked out as you'd initially hoped however you could still have changed it if you wanted to... Maybe she felt sorry for you that by your age, you didn't have the life you wanted and could have had so much more to enjoy if you'd bothered to live than just dwell in your guilt of bad memories; pervasive moodiness; the simpsons; surf report; your surfboard collection; smoking bongs; drinking beer and the compelling need for always being right no matter what the cost to yourself and those closest to you... Maybe you may think she's still bothering you as you are so good (in your eyes) and she will never ever get over you... as you recall how fantastic and unmatched in bed she thought you were then and perhaps even to date in her life.... Maybe the reality is she actually survived and surpassed you and the ensuing campaign of terror you delivered and actually thinks you are the lamest of the lame and should just get over yourself and develop some other life skills that would actually impress her a great deal more than all the beautiful women you sleep with than have any real connection with...as there are many other guys that are good-in fact uber fantastic in bed...and totally self-sufficient and not working to some infinite quota... I could be totally wrong...however...there's always the possibility I'm right..... It may just be I'm not correct about these things necessarily applying to you and this particular situation... It's interesting that some men say we women talk in riddles... I believe I write very clearly-there should be no problems understanding any of this..surely? The truth is out there... mmm...Mulder....he was a government agent....discovering things... *undercover smirk* NymphetamineDrm

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Wow .. take a breath

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  She is nothing if not fertile and productive and master of all tangents...lol I don't think i have ever managed to completely read one of her posts....Maybe something to do with a short attention span (mine).....i always seem to loose track of what she is trying to say.I think i need to work on my reading and comprehension skills.Cheers Nev.......

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