M58 F44
Why Is The Cat and Mouse Game So Attractive To People???
January 08 2013
Comments
-
RHP User
13 years ago
...but because he lied to me (and gambled away everything but that's another matter), and he didn't involve me in the play. That's not a marriage for me. I don't do liars or thieves. Trust is the most beautiful and rewarding emotion in any relationship. It is also very fragile and once broken takes a lot of work to rebuild. How do I feel about it now? Personally, Ive never felt more liberated in my life so all's well that ends well.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' ...but because he lied to me (and gambled away everything but that's another matter), and he didn't involve me in the play. That's not a marriage for me. I don't do liars or thieves. Trust is the most beautiful and rewarding emotion in any relationship. It is also very fragile and once broken takes a lot of work to rebuild. How do I feel about it now? Personally, Ive never felt more liberated in my life so all's well that ends well. Thanks for your input Im glad you came out of it on a better note
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Firstly I stress Im writing from my own personal experience - Im not condemning cheating but nor am I condoning it either- its is a gray area, yet one where we will all have a strong opinion on. I could handle the affairs, as in the sex - but are 30 minute shags while one is off working their asses off and one is at home shagging considered an affair ??? Like Paint me said.........it wasnt the sex, it was the lies and the betrayal that went with it....also the anger that the person you love more than anything in the world, views your life together as "mweh so what" and so insignificant, that they are prepared to risk all that youve built so they can get off on with some person for a afternoon tumble and they can barely remember the persons name afterwards....its the lies, because if they lie about this ( I have found) they will lie about anything and everything else - as it suits them... Yep apparently some people can do that and sleep at nite..................what moral compass ? but to each their own rite ? - do they value you - No they dont.. Whats the attraction ? - well the list is long and for each cheater well there will a different attraction From my own personal experience and I stress my own.. - my ex did it simply for the thrill of the chase, for the ego stroke ..(he admitted this) .........life at home was fine (sexually) ...in some ways I wish it hadnt been therefore it would have made is so much easier for me to understand and accept what was going on (in other words I could perhaps find fault with me- whats wrong with me ?? amazing how you blame yourself for someones elses choice and conduct ) - and we were also regular swingers - so variety was not a issue Some people are just simply addicted - be it to the sex or the chase - or both - some people just need this in their lives to feel better about themselves - cause they have nothing else of value in their lives - no career, no children, no passion, no ambition for anything, no friends, no interests..... so sex and the pursuit of it is their outlet, their fantasy - where they play the role of the bigshot, their power grab....... ....there are many many reasons as to why people cheat (all valid in their minds)... but these were the reasons in my particular case I cannot answer as to what emotions (the cheater) experiences - but as an observer to their cheating ways Id have to say basically none....trust me they dont give a damn what your going thru ...as long as they get what THEY WANT !!! its all about them and their self gratification - and I often wondered how my ex would have felt had I reciprocated the same behavior- if we leveled the playing field and I went out and screwed around...if that would have been ok...I think not...oh because btw he didnt man up and tell me he wanted a""öpen relationship"much better to sneak around...and damn me accordingly I have a girlfriend who is currently having ä äffair....however is is with a person of the same sex...so in her mind its not a affair - Im sure her partner would not feel the same way if she told him...but she wont, and trust me...all the issues are exactly the same no matter who she is sharing the bed with, the intimacies being exchanged on every level are still the same...this liasion is more than sex.....shes sharing all with one person on many levels.. and its not with her partner...I watch this one with interest - but say nothing. Its not for me to say Cheaters are always able to justify their actions - always....in any given situation - I dont condemn - I dont condone - Im just glad I dont. I have enough shite in my life without adding to someone else hurt and pain imprinting it on my cosmic journey. What did I experience ? .....well the emotional list is so long.....RHP would l shut down the forum if I alpha listed all the emotions that I experienced, and worked thru with a lot of bourbon, counselling, endless tears and g/f hand holding !!! but in the end..............there was for me only one word that simply covered it all for me on every all level...sexual betrayal, emotional betrayal etc Devastation and I wouldnt wish that grief and pain on my worse enemy -
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Shinasbabe27' Firstly I stress Im writing from my own personal experience - Im not condemning cheating but nor am I condoning it either- its is a gray area, yet one where we will all have a strong opinion on. I could handle the affairs, as in the sex - but are 30 minute shags while one is off working their asses off and one is at home shagging considered an affair ??? Like Paint me said.........it wasnt the sex, it was the lies and the betrayal that went with it....also the anger that the person you love more than anything in the world, views your life together as "mweh so what" and so insignificant, that they are prepared to risk all that youve built so they can get off on with some person for a afternoon tumble and they can barely remember the persons name afterwards....its the lies, because if they lie about this ( I have found) they will lie about anything and everything else - as it suits them... Yep apparently some people can do that and sleep at nite..................what moral compass ? but to each their own rite ? - do they value you - No they dont.. Whats the attraction ? - well the list is long and for each cheater well there will a different attraction From my own personal experience and I stress my own.. - my ex did it simply for the thrill of the chase, for the ego stroke ..(he admitted this) .........life at home was fine (sexually) ...in some ways I wish it hadnt been therefore it would have made is so much easier for me to understand and accept what was going on (in other words I could perhaps find fault with me- whats wrong with me ?? amazing how you blame yourself for someones elses choice and conduct ) - and we were also regular swingers - so variety was not a issue Some people are just simply addicted - be it to the sex or the chase - or both - some people just need this in their lives to feel better about themselves - cause they have nothing else of value in their lives - no career, no children, no passion, no ambition for anything, no friends, no interests..... so sex and the pursuit of it is their outlet, their fantasy - where they play the role of the bigshot, their power grab....... ....there are many many reasons as to why people cheat (all valid in their minds)... but these were the reasons in my particular case I cannot answer as to what emotions (the cheater) experiences - but as an observer to their cheating ways Id have to say basically none....trust me they dont give a damn what your going thru ...as long as they get what THEY WANT !!! its all about them and their self gratification - and I often wondered how my ex would have felt had I reciprocated the same behavior- if we leveled the playing field and I went out and screwed around...if that would have been ok...I think not...oh because btw he didnt man up and tell me he wanted a""öpen relationship"much better to sneak around...and damn me accordingly I have a girlfriend who is currently having ä äffair....however is is with a person of the same sex...so in her mind its not a affair - Im sure her partner would not feel the same way if she told him...but she wont, and trust me...all the issues are exactly the same no matter who she is sharing the bed with, the intimacies being exchanged on every level are still the same...this liasion is more than sex.....shes sharing all with one person on many levels.. and its not with her partner...I watch this one with interest - but say nothing. Its not for me to say Cheaters are always able to justify their actions - always....in any given situation - I dont condemn - I dont condone - Im just glad I dont. I have enough shite in my life without adding to someone else hurt and pain imprinting it on my cosmic journey. What did I experience ? .....well the emotional list is so long.....RHP would l shut down the forum if I alpha listed all the emotions that I experienced, and worked thru with a lot of bourbon, counselling, endless tears and g/f hand holding !!! but in the end..............there was for me only one word that simply covered it all for me on every all level...sexual betrayal, emotional betrayal etc Devastation and I wouldnt wish that grief and pain on my worse enemy - Wow You have been through alot ,thankyou for sharing such personal feelings on here.Im lost for words its a dark place
-
RHP User
13 years ago
There are ten thousand reasons why humans have what society calls and AFFAIR in the jungle its called primal fucking and we all did it before convention came in and said you over there and you over there and then your only allowed to fuck one person Romantic love was invented by some do gooder after the crusaders came back and were behaving like men that had been to war. I fuck married men, because I am not interested in any relationship at all, I have one of those. its less complicated for me, I know they will not bother me except to get into the Y zone. I don’t do it often as I like my men on tap, and its harder for a married man but now and again, well there are some very hot sexy married men out there am I a bitch, yep I am The beauty of being an old cow is that no woman in her right mind would believe that her hot sexy young husband would be bonking me..its a great disguise
-
RHP User
13 years ago
suggests that people who are more adventurous live longer.Of course that is only if they don't fall down a cliff,the bungy rope doesn't snap,the Amazon jungle does't get 'em or the irate wife or husband does't poison them or in the case of a man,shoot his balls off. Some people are adrenaline junkies and the thrill of the chase,the risk of getting caught is incredibly attractive in what might be an otherwise snooze worthy life.
-
wingman2014
13 years ago
I love my wife dearly she is a wonderful wife. We have a perfect life except for one thing. Two years ago she lost. Virtually all desire for sex. I tried to find ways to spark things up but nothing works. I even talked her into seeking medical help I case it was perhaps hormonal.As time went by we would argue more and more about sex or lack of. In the end we were on the road to separation . I had really nothing to lose so I sought out woman to share my need for intimacy and passion . It has worked well . I was initially racked with guilt . But I am very discrete and home life is great , we get along really well now that there is little sexual frustration dividing us . I am not proud of what I do but see it as a solution to a potentially bigger problem . Just my opinion
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Well said and couldn't have put it better. My 2c is similar in that when you are unable or unwilling to communicate honestly and openly with your partner for whatever reason (and not giving any judgements here as there are plenty of grey areas) then cheating is the easier copout way out then trying to fix whatever is broken with the partner in the first place.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I think a more interesting question is why are you looking for single women but not single men ?
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'slinkey'I think a more interesting question is why are you looking for single women but not single men ? Good question Slinky, there seems to be alot of couples seeking single women but not men. Sounds to me whats good for the gander is not necessarily good for the goose....
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Thankyou for the feedback its interesting hearing both sides and what drives you :)
-
RHP User
13 years ago
If you are in a relationship that is getting a bit "same, same" or you have certain desires that your partner is unwilling to fulfill then an affair may be the only way to go.For some people it is the excitement of sex with a new person or not the sex so much as the thrill of the chase and the feel of a new body to explore.My philosophy is that life is too short to be with someone you are not both mentally and sexually compatible with. If you have that, you don't need an affair.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'slinkey' I think a more interesting question is why are you looking for single women but not single men ? Well so happens we were looking for both and have had experiences which the males were all about themselves,me being bisexual of course Im going to want woman and with a history with abusive men from childhood excuse fucking me for not having a profile seeking single guys,called personal choice just like one who wants to have affairs
-
RHP User
13 years ago
An acquaintance of mine told me he cheated on a girlfriend because he no longer felt sexually attracted to her once they shared the same apartment. He felt frustrated, and decided to go out and have a couple of one night stands. I don't agree with what he did, but I didn't hassle him about it (besides saying "It's probably time to break up") What I've found that's really odd is some people are more "accepting" of an affair than an open relationship or swinging
-
WHY_NOT_LOOK
13 years ago
Devastating Yes in an open relationship it shouldn't happen but it still does. So then how do you ever trust or want another relationship again? Single forever why not- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
13 years ago
It seems many have an opinion which make assumptions about what may be the reason why someone chooses not to be monagomous . What would be interesting would be to hear from someone whom has experiencd both aspects. I do believe there will be 1000's of reasons.. each one unique. Im a normal stable well adjusted person yet i am challenged by societal norms to be monagomous. I have a strong moral compass (some suggest i possibly couldnt.. but they dont have any idea of who i am and are judgeing without knowledge). All said.. people are people and the pleasures of the flesh is a wonderful thing that should be enjoyed. One must be selective and respectful of others opinions and not judge.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I don't have names for them all though they still vibrate well... oh and that Bed!!!! he just does it for me every night Yep I am all for affairs
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'wingman2013' I love my wife dearly she is a wonderful wife. We have a perfect life except for one thing. Two years ago she lost. Virtually all desire for sex. I tried to find ways to spark things up but nothing works. I even talked her into seeking medical help I case it was perhaps hormonal.As time went by we would argue more and more about sex or lack of. In the end we were on the road to separation . I had really nothing to lose so I sought out woman to share my need for intimacy and passion . It has worked well . I was initially racked with guilt . But I am very discrete and home life is great , we get along really well now that there is little sexual frustration dividing us . I am not proud of what I do but see it as a solution to a potentially bigger problem . Just my opinion Just read your profile....
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I myself would rather be HAPPY single than UNHAPPY in a relationship... AFFAIRS can't fix a relationship once its broken...Its broken because its broken!!!! These people who seek affairs live in a world of fantasy.. To me AFFAIRS can be many things..Physical, Emotional, psychological, intimacy the list is endless.... Its crossing the Boundry line and betraying the person in a relationship with.. mainly wife/husband; girlfriend/partner... I don't like it because my morals, dignity and self respect is worth more... I am aware married men who use internet are predators and seek the venerable for their own needs to be meet...They don't care, have apthay... Actually they disgrace me and I feel for their partners who are mislead and betrayed. This goes for women too. Im not targeting men however its said its men who have affairs more than women... It takes two people to have an affair not just one... This is my thoughts and yes people may not agree...That really is OK :-)- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Well just to put it out there again not here to judge any person from either side just interests me why people do it and for those who its happened to how they dealt with it and how they found out??? Thanks fellow Sexy pie lovers
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Do something that scares you at least once a day and you will live longer. The beauty of RHP is that it offers a alternative to a affair as we know it. Discussing your urges with your partner and understanding that these urges are quite normal in most people, is a good start. Once you accept there is a way where you both enjoy these urges without the sneaky phone calls ot text messages, its so much more relaxing.. and less threatening.Affairs will however' always be around because that is just the way it is. Excitement, New, Sexy, the thrill of being caught and the feeling to be able to feel young again' even for a short time is inviting. Mr JJ.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I feel we had a great admiration and love for our father before we discovered his affair which tore our family apart. We were always told we were old enough to deal with it but my younger sister wasnt, my mother wasnt and we couldnt deal with the fact he then became someone elses devoted parent.Our lives changed forever the way we saw him and all four children never ever got married............I believe we never believed in such a contract after that. I have a brother to this day who questions when my fathers affairs started and after 30 years and my fathers death he will never have those answers. (why he needs them??).I havent been cheated on as such but I feel it may have been the reason I could never consider it. Ok my parents dealt with it badly. Adulteres think of themselves their needs you hear it all the time. It leaves an aftermath though.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Beneath_blueeyes'I feel we had a great admiration and love for our father before we discovered his affair which tore our family apart. We were always told we were old enough to deal with it but my younger sister wasnt, my mother wasnt and we couldnt deal with the fact he then became someone elses devoted parent.Our lives changed forever the way we saw him and all four children never ever got married............I believe we never believed in such a contract after that. I have a brother to this day who questions when my fathers affairs started and after 30 years and my fathers death he will never have those answers. (why he needs them??).I havent been cheated on as such but I feel it may have been the reason I could never consider it. Ok my parents dealt with it badly. Adulteres think of themselves their needs you hear it all the time. It leaves an aftermath though.very well said... and you are right...it leaves an aftermath...and adulterers do only think of themselves, and rarely take credit for their own actions...its much much easier to blame some other component of their relationship than it is to take responsibility for their own behaviour.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88159
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10229
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2521 Comments: 11677
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9759
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1009 Comments: 5265
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share