M55 F55
Who is sick of people making some lame excuse at the eleventh hour that they can't make it?
November 26 2016
Comments
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I'm afraid I've been the one dishing out the lame excuses lately, well not lame to me, but would seem so to them. Work always gets in the way, but I can't stop because I have bills to pay and it has to come first. If they don't understand, it's tough, because it is what it is. I'm sure they think it's an excuse though. I don't use it as an excuse, I either ghost or tell them if I don't want to meet them, but never lie. On the receiving end, double standards because I hate it when they either fall off the radar or can't meet, giving me some lame reason like I didn't confirm or whatever, which shits me when we have a time set up, with an ongoing fb, who should know I'm too busy to be texting at the moment, but will always be ready for an arranged day/time unless I say otherwise. So I feel it's deflecting their own arrangements back onto me, which is lame. This isn't common though, I find they generally always show up. I've had a couple of no shows in the last few years, but that's rare, no complaints there. I think singles hook ups are different to couples with respect to people getting cold feet. You might get more tyre kickers as a couple, I don't know. Not much you can do, understand your frustration, though I'm starting to see things a little differently now that I am so busy I think the disappointment and frustration comes from lack of notice because it's leeches your time, you could be using that time arranging to see someone else, someone who would really appreciate being with you and not let you down
-
RHP User
9 years ago
looking at your pics, I'm a little surprised anyone would not show up
-
twowithnolimits
9 years ago
Agreed the percentage is far to high, there are many explanations all of which in the end result in our frustration . Happy to PM
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Yeah some are just all talk and no action. Some will meet and then give the excuses the second time. Others will chase me for a second time and I don't want to go a second time. I don't like one-offs but they happen, unfortunately. Some don't even make a time to meet and ask for photos and sometimes videos. CBF anymore TBH. Meeting new people require too much energy. I usually just chat enough to get to know them, decide on a time to meet and leave it there. I don't expect anything anymore. I usually have plan B, (usually chill and do something I like alone) but yeah frustrating. But I don't hold it against them. As a couple at least you have each other 😋 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
People are entitled to withdraw from this process when ever they want. Even if everyone has got their pants of, someone can rightfully decide, 'no, this isn't for me.' Getting bitter and twisted about it serves no purpose. You're not 'entitled' to a bonk or even a meeting. Sorry. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
sweetgem
9 years ago
What you're experiencing on RHP isn't new in the cyber world. In fact, it's nothing new in the real world either :) people get stood up everywhere and we have all experienced it one way or another, nothing we can do! But we don't have to let such negativity gets to us and ruins our journey for us, right? :) Therefore, change your mindset and put in a stronger BS filter to filter out the time wasters, before your chatting gets too far :) As for your questions about do they get a kick out of it, or does it get their socks off.......who knows really! And I'm sure the reasons are varied from person to person. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Swingingnudist
9 years ago
Lovebitten your reply posts sounds like you would be one of the lame excuses!! I have had many chat sessions and organized dates then whammo no contact and or lame excuses, ohh i had to go to the oncologist, my car broke down yada yada. I have no patience for these pretenders who in a nut shell are serial texters just looking for attention. I have organized parties and had the same happen so i ring them up and give them a piece of my mind just so there is no misunderstanding. I have reported some of them as well and requested not just a validation section on their profile burt another section that if they are serial offenders it gets put on their profile as a prior warning to other paople chatting to them.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Perhaps their budgie died..:) ..there are a myriad of excuses OP..really IMO its when timing and inclination come together. And life can just get in the way. ..I have heard some incredibly inventive excuses.One man told me his best friend had just been killed in a car crash and he had to look after his family..two years later he contacted me again on the same site .He had obviously forgotten who I was ..we had actually met..When I asked him about that situation he denied it. Q
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Tho Ive said I'd like to meet people, mostly couples and still haven't. My insecurities kick in and I find it overwhelming, so never go there. *sigh* Must take the plunge oneday. I've never set up a met and not shown.. Thats just rude. I've not been stood up either (that I recall) - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Are attached pretending to be single and sexy chat and plans are all they are going to get. They fantasise about meeting someone and what would happen but the reality is that they are shit scared of the partner finding out so its just a bit of cyber fun for them. Ive chatted to 2 guys who are in this situation. Its rude, yes, but I feel sorry for people who are not happy with their ( lack of ) sex lives but too scared to do anything about it.
-
DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
We have experienced a high rate of "no shows", mainly from single guys. What we now do, if someone wants to meet us for drinks, is to assume that they won't pitch up. We therefore make them come to a venue that we were already going to, that night. That way, we enjoy ourselves regardless of whether they arrive or not. We find that this works best for us - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Its not the end of the world. It is a big thing meeting a total stranger on here and too many guys put pressure on a girl to meet them and sometimes immediately!. i would hate that myself
-
RHP User
9 years ago
lots of things get in the way feeling unwell, urgent family business, work etc... we have met a few people but it has taken a little while to coordinate times properly, some people have kids, some people have ongoing health issues that are worse sometimes than others. as long as people aren't being malicious toward you then there's no need to get worried about it. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
TakingMyTime
9 years ago
With people meaning let me say with guy's mostly they really just want to meet for the quick fuck and don't even care about exchanging a name just give them an address and they will be there in 5 minutes ! ! Nothing like a little conversation for some social lubrication to ease the pressure of a meet - of course these have not progressed to a meet at all. However have met a couple of guys couples and ladies and would be happy to catch up with them cos they have taken the time to get to know me. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
You sound like the type of fellow who sends a message or buys a coffee and thinks he's deserving of 70 heavenly virgins. Exactly the sort of rude, entitled attitude I'm referring to when I say 'you don't owe anything to anybody.' This site is supposed to be fun. As soon as people start superimposing their desires or wants or expectations on others, it's not fun anymore. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
It's best to only decide to go to dates you feel you will really enjoy 😊 and people who are on your wavelength. If they, or the event sounds too porny, then I'm not interested in it, but even if I have put my name down, and been selected, and then got cold feet, I'll make my excuses. When peeps sound 🔊 genuine and none pushy, and it's cool 😎 if something happens or it doesn't, then it deserves an early cancellation, and genuine excuse, as you may meet at a M&G and find your very compatible, and with a bit more warming up, a more responsive session will result, and you could even end up regularl playmates! But unless you want to collect notches on the bed head, treat RHP like any other social group!! Andy - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
It's best to only decide to go to dates you feel you will really enjoy 😊 and people who are on your wavelength. If they, or the event sounds too porny, then I'm not interested in it, but even if I have put my name down, and been selected, and then got cold feet, I'll make my excuses. When peeps sound 🔊 genuine and none pushy, and it's cool 😎 if something happens or it doesn't, then it deserves an early cancellation, and genuine excuse, as you may meet at a M&G and find your very compatible, and with a bit more warming up, a more responsive session will result, and you could even end up regularl playmates! But unless you want to collect notches on the bed head, treat RHP like any other social group!! Andy - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I've been chatting to a few local guys, some in couples who claim the female is cool with us meeting solo, but when it comes to setting up a meet suddenly disappear then return a few days later and pretend it never happened. I let it go the first few times, then move on. Not worth my time. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Sawadee
9 years ago
..there are some ( plenty ) who enjoy the ride RHP has to offer without ever being serious about meeting anybody. Talk is talk and they seem content to live a fantasy , but once reality bites they show their true colours and get scared off... That's why I'm quite content to wait til they contact me.... Then I know their serious..
-
RHP User
9 years ago
"only to have the other party pull out at the last minute with some lame excuse?" you were notified, either late or after the meet time, to have the comment of lame excuse. We've had NO SHOWS, that's much worse. Phone calls to set up a M&G and then doesn't show. One of the worst was a phone call 1hr before meet time confirming all ok, then 30mins after meet time their phone was not answered. We rang from another unknown number and they answered, only to hang up and turn the phone off when they knew it was us. If they get cold feet and make an excuse it's far better than a no show that wastes a lot more time. They don't care about being talked about because they just change their internet name and travel on with the fantasy with a different name.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I get there are genuine last minute problems, but there are definitely more no shows on here than a regular dating site, i think the pressure gets to some people, it ends up being a fantasy to organise it etc but another story to go through with it. Also you often have more invested on here so i think its easier to get upset about it if they back out. No one wants anyone doing something they arent 100% into, but stop lying to yourself and dont mess people around. @I_touch_myself2 maybe telling them you may have work so you are 50/50 as a courtesy would help keep everyone happy??
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I agree they are quite often and just getting their kicks, with no intention of actually meeting, and then there are picture hunters, had one this morning. Few messages exchanged, literally one or two, early stages of communication, then a request for pg to 'see me in action'. You see mate, I'm actually into real live in the flesh action, nice try, hope you're reading this. You'll probably be blocked by the end of the day 😉
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quite often attached I meant or contacting as a couple without the partner's knowledge
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'riddles99' I get there are genuine last minute problems, but there are definitely more no shows on here than a regular dating site, i think the pressure gets to some people, it ends up being a fantasy to organise it etc but another story to go through with it. Also you often have more invested on here so i think its easier to get upset about it if they back out. No one wants anyone doing something they arent 100% into, but stop lying to yourself and dont mess people around. @I_touch_myself2 maybe telling them you may have work so you are 50/50 as a courtesy would help keep everyone happy?? I do, that's my opening message, telling them how busy I am and apologising in advance for slow replies etc but for them not to take that as a sign I'm not interested. Without getting too personal, I'm trying to support myself here and I have to pay the bills. So there's no bs it's flat out survival. I'd much rather be having sex than working obviously but I'm very clear with them right from the start
-
RHP User
9 years ago
hi darl Trev here want not turn up lol
-
RHP User
9 years ago
... and only once was I not able to turn up last minute - and immediately rebooked for the next morning, which went swimmingly. Perhaps it's luck of the draw, or maybe the message screening process; I don't know. I've certainly had plenty of people to chat to, but not that many meets. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
It's not about "entitlement", it's just about plain old respect and meaning what you say. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it. Simple old fashioned values, as the majority on here seem to agree with.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15120 Comments: 88165
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10236
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11667
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9766
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1006 Comments: 5246
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5782
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1992
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share