M47
Where would a guy find a submissive woman to learn together with?
February 02 2017
I have a fantasy of finding a woman to learn to explore these things with me.
On the same note I am also looking for a woman who's basically open for further exploration. Exhibitionism. Wearing what I ask her to as part of her submission. That kind of thing.
What are the first steps in finding a good match / play partner? I just have no idea how I could approach someone with that kind of topic.
Comments
cat_n_the_hatter
8 years ago
Fetlife is a website that is created specifically for kinky people.
BUT
Within the community, there is an unhealthy culture of silence.
I have just read an article how Fetlife consistently fails to protect members privacy, and even actively preventing victims of abuse within the community from red-flagging their abusers to other members on the site.
Furthermore, personal intimate and sexual data that members consented to share in one specific location have been copied and published in a new location without their knowledge or consent. The information has been curated for and advertised to an audience of predominantly cis male sexual predators, that now have a well-laid out database of disproportionately vulnerable and inexperienced potential victims who may be unlikely to expose their alternative lifestyle by going to the police or perusing other means of defense.
Younger female members are often considered desirable, not only due to the problematic idea of youth in our culture being seen as sexually desirable, but also because they are viewed as easily exploitable due to their perceived lack of experience. Younger female submissives often haven’t had a long-term BDSM relationship and are seen as more malleable, easier to mold into the “perfect submissive”. Is that what you want OP ? (Ms)RHP User
8 years ago
I agree with fetlife but you could also try being specific in your profile here - it wont appeal to all but you never know your luck
RHP User
8 years ago
However fetlife is the goto - as suggested.
It's a big world out there so enjoy
On_Safari
8 years ago
Who loves doing this stuff for BOTH of your pleasure.
RHP User
8 years ago
I agree with On_Safari, make it about mutual pleasure, don't forget to always have her pleasure in mind, but what you describe is pretty close to how I like it, and usually how it happens for me. My connections develop into that kind of situation over time and I get off on being dominated not just during the act of sex, but with the mind, through our communications, I want to be controlled, obviously leading to or building the excitement, anticipation of the next meet, so of a sexual nature, I don't mean controlled in any other way. Being told what to wear? Mixed feelings about that, however I find it naturally happens with intense domination, because we want to please our dom, hence please in any way we know will turn him on, he then gets off on that, and it's amazing for both. So for the right guy, I'll do anything pretty much, no holes barred I don't agree you need to wander off to fetlife. I'm here acting out those things, as are many others, in a whole host of different ways. I don't see the need to go anywhere else if you like this website. Stick around, enjoy the forum, bounce of people a bit. But I would have thought there were quite a few women who liked complete submission? This chick certainly does anyway, it becomes more intense with every encounter or connection and has become a fetish for me. I wouldn't enjoy sex without it being like that. I think I put something in my profile saying for them not to contact me if they have any submissive tendencies, so even a switch would be a no from me. I look for doms and I find good ones occasionally
AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
May well be starting from in rhp. You can find anything in here.
So you may get some interested women who have read this post and contact you. Good luck.
Im excited and apprehensive at the same time. Think l was a sub in my last relationship but just didnt realise it. May as well make it real.RHP User
8 years ago
Not sure how fetlife works on the East Coast but over here it's dead as a door nail.
There is probably more action in the personals, like Craig's list and Locanto.
But there is a lot of crap and creeps to sort through.RHP User
8 years ago
They might be wondering where a decent dominant male is for them to desire to be submissive to.....
I could be wrong of course as I'm sure you're plentiful in that area :)
- Posted from rhpmobile
Freaky_Fun
8 years ago
You don't seem to want full on hardcore domination which is what Fetlife is about.
There's enough kinky people on here that would entertain the idea of what you suggested, with a little profile tweeking I'm sure you would have women that were interested in those kinks for both of you to enjoy.
Myself on the other hand l make the worst sub ever lol.RHP User
8 years ago
Damn, you're a sub? I had such high hopes for us too 😢😢😢
Lovinit28andKC72
8 years ago
Here on the east coast Fetlife is very active.
There are munches (casual meet and greets, get togethers) most weeks, events every weekend and lots of topics (about everything and anything), that you can read and participate in. Like anything in life, you need to put yourself out there, go to places, meet and talk people.💋RHP User
8 years ago
Hello! I wanted to address your comment about nothing happening on the West Coast, don't you guys have a huge fetish party a few times a year in Perth which caters to the BDSM crowd? I think isn't called Spank or organised by Spank. Have you heard of it or is it no good?
RHP User
8 years ago
You may well be right, bdsm is not something I need to search for, I was just commenting on my experience looking at threads and topics I have looked at, most of which haven't been commented on in months. It may well be the bigger picture is broader than I have seen, or it maybe that I have shot my mouth off without seeing the whole picture. Wouldn't be the first time.I'm now going to checkout Spank.
RHP User
8 years ago
while there is a place for fetlife and BDSM parties etc,
when you are starting and your curious it maybe worth learning more with your
normal play partner or next friend with benefits.
my personal general tips are don't wait too long to bring up
your desires and fantasies and ask about theirs ..with some people you can even open up with
that kind of chat however you'll have to know when is the right time and place
to bring up and start that conversation.
learn the basics and know make it fun for both of you. start
maybe with giving her little daily tasks that she gets rewarded for or lightly
punished "behaviour modification" but
make sure its for your partners growth not for your ego..
I would say be honest, genuine and real about your skills
and your desires . learn more about the pleasure and pain side of play, the
safety stuff, about your partners body and mind state. being in control comes
with great responsibility if someone is willing to trust their body mind and
sole to you make sure you have done your homework 1st.
Personally I have introduced many friends and female
partners to BDSM, from sensation play to ropes, wax, rough sex, pleasure and
pain etc you would be surprised how many people who haven't thought about it or
maybe even think they may not be into it would enjoy it all when they trust the
person and feel safe secure protected looked after and well have great experiences..I personally dont think its a thing only for "some type of people" I think most people can enjoy some aspects of it so to speak.
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