M54
When is a Relationship "EXCLUSIVE"
May 03 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
You can't assume anything! If you are not sure ask... but surely not many women would assume that you are having an exclusive "relationship" just because you are sleeping together. Do they?? On second thoughts yes I guess alot of girls would. BTW - how could you have blown a few relationships - you obviously didn't want a relationship because you were still seeing other women. Yes?? M
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RHP User
16 years ago
Not every girl puts the tag on the guy. If you are seeing each other on a regular basis, and you actually enjoy each others company etc... then thats probably a good time to ask the question. As in... So what is this?? Are we 'exclusive', or is this just a casual no strings thing? Be up front as soon as possible... If it starts out as just a casual no strings thing and then you find that there are some serious feelings there... speak up and let the other know.. At least you will both know where you stand. COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY...good luck :) - Maple -
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RHP User
16 years ago
I REKON WHEN YOU HAVE A TOOTHBRUSH AT EACH OTHERS HOUSE LOL
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RHP User
16 years ago
i think it is a conversation u need to have early on .... yes i want exclusive .. not i dont .... or i want start of slow ..... but know that i am still be seeing other people ... talk about it ....be straight i find it is the guys who want exclusive first ...... with me going ... no no no no ..... more people to play with please and nothing serious but yeah i just work it into the conversation usually before hooking up ..... 'u know i am not after exclusive right.... but i am looking for regular people to play with' good luck next time
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RHP User
16 years ago
Yeah.. well... traditional christian western values would have you married off if you are rooting... I guess that's where the confusion originates... and in the RHP crowd I would have thought that monogamy is a very rare concept... I mean, she can ask.. but jeese. Relationship?? hehe... I mean, all nuded up at a sex party do you ask their names? Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'd love to know the protocol to the "Exclusive" tag too. I don't have any rules. I believe most guys I meet on RHP don't want exclusive. Actually I've found they want ME to be exclusive but they still want to fuck anyone ! Mmm.... the double standard still exists. Would I go "exclusive"... YES. How would I know I was "exclusive".... communication with my partner. I usually have the conversation along the lines that the relationship is casual and we are free to do whatever without telling the other person. It then depends on how they react. I've found the entire conversation a bit of a time bomb...it can definitely end a relationship ! xx Miss Saturn
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RHP User
16 years ago
How many times can exclusive screw up a good situation..I think it is human to be drawn more and more to a person the more we see them..I think it naturally goes forward if the 2 people want it to be more.. However that is dependant on the 2 talking about it and not assuming it is more or less than what it is..Ah communication and actually wanting a steady ! ( relationship that is )
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RHP User
16 years ago
It's always been my opinion that marriage is what commitment is all about - if i wanted a trial commitment i'd get engaged :) mind u i have had some amazing relationships in my days - some girls i have commited 2 - but have always dated bi-girls so there is always other girls coming 2 play. I have even been married - was amazing 2 find my wife (on the wedding night) had a girl tied up in the honeymoon suite waiting for us......Ahhh the beauty of dating girls that love girls. Being a math & statistics nutt - i always tell girls when i'm dating that they aren't the only girl i'm seeing & at some stages have dated 5 girls @ the same time - reasons being (1) - i won't commit 2 any1 unless i've dated & been intimate with them for at least 3 months - why would u wanna commit 2 any 1 u don't really know & it takes about 3 months for me 2 get 2 know if i wanna take a relationship further. (2) - if i was 2 date & commit 2 one girl @ a time then the right girl for me could walk in and out of my life & i wouldn't get 2 know her if i was in one committed relationship at a time. (3) - dating more girls @ the same time stastically means i'm more likely 2 find the right one for me.... I am so in love with my partner @ the moment - she is the most amazing girl I have ever dated & yes she is bi and loves girls and enjoys their bodies as much as i do. Hence why we have a live in sex slave - check her out RHP - "missboo86" In the end - b open and honest with whomever u spend ur time with & they will appreciate getting 2 know the true u :) big hugs E-man xox
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RHP User
16 years ago
When is a relationship exclusive?Right up until you get caught!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I will agree with Taipan12....I will go naturally forward..You will both know when it feel right.....communicate...and show how you feel. Those that you might want to know more will move on if you don't let them know. Speak from the heart. I mean ..what really do you have to lose? To go forth and embrace those wonderful feelings you have for each other. Never know till you try.. Men run too much..Never sure? Scared? Always have it in your mind that if it does not work out...Well heck! had a wonderful time getting to know each other. kisses sweetpetite41xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I believe that you can make anything of what you want an encounter to be...and setting out some honest thoughts up front is a good place to start. Personally, I prefer to get to know someone quite well and understand who they are well before simply considering that person a release for basic and often unsatisfying encounters. If all I want is a quick once off...I think I would simply divest myself of a pro and call it good. They are far less involved and accomplish the same purpose. | It may not be that be all and end all relationship for life and I don't want that...but given a choice which I do have...I would rather be with a good friend that I could trust and if it becamse an exclusive even for the time spent together...even better. | I do actually prefer waking up the next morining with a friend and perhaps a suitable companion that would enjoy brunch rather than having to slip my arm out from under the pillow and climb out the first available window sans the arm I had to chew off! | To each his or her own...and rately would I want to be with someone I simply consdiered as a vessel for release and certainly not one that considered themselves with such low esteem.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ahhh I remember the good old days...when a guy used to come up to you and say "So, you want to go steady"? No head games .. no problems with communication. Bring back that era!!!!!!! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'MrsTri'When is a relationship exclusive?Right up until you get caught!lol - so true - I think that was Antonn's problem!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I am being disheartened by the concept of playing the field. I'm an old fashioned guy but I'm feeling bereft without true love. I don't expect to find it here and if I do can you really trust someone you find here with all of my heart. Also alot of people here have had damaging pasts. Well mine ain't to great but I have learnt my lessons I hope. The wisdom of others is a great thing. To know the timing of such things as when to pop the commitment question. Many may not can you imagine seeing a girl for three months or more and then popping the question only to find that she wants to be a free spirit. Ouch. Your world can be destroyed. That is why I belive in eye communication. Hopefully I will see it. Fab.
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RHP User
16 years ago
When you're both satisfied with eachother in bed. Your attention in that area will focus on that thrilling passtime and not elsewhere. Unless you have a short attention span or ego issues that don't yet allow for that. But you'll know when it happens, for however long it lasts.
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RHP User
16 years ago
To me, "exclusive" represents status, power and control. I would prefer to grow with someone...to let the relationship evolve to an entity that benefits both. It means both people maintaining their independence and desires in a way that is beneficial to that relationship. If this is achieved, then the relationship can perhaps be considered "mutually exclusive". Just my thoughts...... Jx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'fab69' I am being disheartened by the concept of playing the field. I'm an old fashioned guy but I'm feeling bereft without true love. I don't expect to find it here and if I do can you really trust someone you find here with all of my heart. Also alot of people here have had damaging pasts. Well mine ain't to great but I have learnt my lessons I hope. The wisdom of others is a great thing. To know the timing of such things as when to pop the commitment question. Many may not can you imagine seeing a girl for three months or more and then popping the question only to find that she wants to be a free spirit. Ouch. Your world can be destroyed. That is why I belive in eye communication. Hopefully I will see it. Fab. Hi fabI don't think that just because people are on RHP they are all looking for the same thing. I think we're all different and there's something on here for most people. I met a man on here that sounds a lot like you, in that he's old fashioned, wants commitment, wants something long term and believes in love and deep connection. He's not interested in playing the field at all, and he doesn't have any urge to share me or himself with anyone else (though that might be something fun to explore down the track!). We just celebrated our first anniversary and are very much in love. We chatted online for 5 months before meeting and were still taken by surprise by how we felt about each other when we met. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time, definitely not, but when it's there and it feels great why not jump in. Love, in any form, is hard enough to come by so RHP is as legitimate a place as any to find it. I wish you luck :)lilmiss x
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RHP User
16 years ago
This is really a great post, thanks! I have enjoyed everyone's responses and am a bit amazed at how similar many of them are. I agree - the question of relationship and commitment and exclusive is all about communication. I think it's possible that a lot of the time women are wondering these things well before they mention them, and men are not wondering about them at all, and are even surprised (and uncomfortable?) when a woman brings them up. Ah the complexities ...Miss_Saturn ... I had to l_a_u_g_h at your post, sooooo true re men wanting you to be exclusive but for them to have the freedom to play around. Aaaahhh ... this thread has warmed my heart :)lilmiss x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Babe if you have to ask then you just havent met the right woman !!!! hehe keep it simple and the rest will take care of itself xxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Your reply is to whom. Plus it's two months ago????? Just thinkin. Fab.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hello there, It has taken me ages to find my old post for this topic so that i can read and reply to these other remarks..... I even had to post a post asking how to find my post....lol Its been a question asked and argued as to what constitutes a relationship...and when are you in one.... In my opinion communication is a must.... you cannot assume your in a relationship without some definite acknowledgement and understanding that this is where your at. Tony
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RHP User
15 years ago
Basically it was the exact reason why I ask.... I thought i was Not in a Relationship but found out that the other person thought we were.... hence the furum question....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Communication is the Key.... yes I so agree.... and an understanding/agreement
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ive just witnessed that exact thing.... a toothbrush has appeared suddenly......mmmmmm
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RHP User
15 years ago
That is a wicked reply and only adds to my understanding as to what is the protocol in the relationship status... thanks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Great answer and thanks for the advice... communication is the must. Great to see you have done so well that you have your live in sex slave.... awesome going there.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Fair call.... but its actually her asking the question... not me asking her if we are exclusive..... some great replies here which re-enforce my idea as to the protocol in understanding where you are to being in an exclusive relationship.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I never assume or think a relationship is exclusive.. In fact i have the opposite problem. For me unless the man says to me this is exclusive. i always think that it's not exclusive which always ends up leaving me in trouble. lol
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