M48 F48
What is it with the fakes / window shoppers? and how to overcome them?
January 30 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi Tim and Jane,Your dilemma is felt by everyone who is actually wanting to meet other people be it singles or couples. At the moment we are not verified as we are separated by a few thousand miles. We could have waited until we were together again next month but created our new profile, sending out a few messages to get the ball rolling. We both have individual profiles and we too suss out the authenticity of the profiles with a background inspection ;) Once we have swapped PG's and feel that they/he/she are real we will provide our play number for the girls to have a chat. We don't have any intimate pictures in our gallery, just us semi clothed and nothing we would not put on FB.If it is a single guy we take a little more time, maybe three messages to make sure we are all seeking the same thing and he isn't a tosser. This is before we give access to our PG. I could not count the amount of "Can I F##K ya missus" messages we get. Instant Delete and BlockWe don't use use MSN as we too have found it to be a waste of time proving the person is genuine.Be pushy, be observant and being specific is the way to go. In the last week since re-joining we have re-connected with some old play friends and made some good potential friends. We had to wade through dozens of kickers to get there :(Lustful
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RHP User
15 years ago
If they dont want to meet up early in the communication (just for a drink and chat) then they never usually bother to meet at all. There seems to be a lot of people who just want to get their kicks online. I just about give up
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hey Guys.... totally understand your frustrations... but there are plenty of great genuine ones out there. Agree - if a meet is what you are looking for - bring it on early... I usually try to play a little bit of detective also - mainly in relation to local knowledge... sometimes works.. sometimes doesnt.... Not sure about just relying on the 'bulk'validations - realising some would be real... but some??? Stick with it - plenty of good ones - to quote many others on this site... when your feeling your getting nowhere..."NEXT"... Remember some people choose in their settings to have the "dont let people know when I've viewed their profile" activated. Have fun!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well don't waste time with all that messaging.... you can attend the events and meet real people face to face... it's a little hit and miss, but if you arrange to meet others from here... there... you aren't investing a stack of time weeding out the fakes.... because if they don't show up at the event, there will be other people there to meet.... and if they do show up at the events, then you can go as far as you wold like to. It's really quite efficient because the kind of events you like to attend are filled with people who generally like to attend them... having met those individuals at events, the gates are open to meet outside of the events if you should choose to do so. It's simply less work and if you take on board the old RHP forum credo of "No expectations = no disappointment", then you've nothing to lose and everything to gain.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Have to say, we are guilty of window shopping sometimes. Sometimes that's because we like the photos on display, sometimes that's because we want to see if there have been any changes. That may be something as a simple as checking to see whether a couples profile have actually gotten around to putting up a pic of the male half as well as the female, or it may be because we appear to be slightly outside of what they/she are looking for and want to check to see if anything has changed (or at least enough for us to send a message). If people are close enough, then we're more than happy to meet straight away, but we always offer the opportunity to chat on msn if they want to, as we appreciate that some people may be a little hesitant. If we do chat, we make it clear we would prefer to meet sooner rather than later, and if they keep avoiding that topic then we generally accept that they *may* be timewasters.....but we pretty much agree with the "No expectations = no disappointment" credo :) Mr O
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RHP User
15 years ago
We will still use MSN but 80% of the contacts on MSN go no where and after 15 mins you know its not going to work when they are secretive about for example what type of work they do, or start talking about 3 somes. We have been to meet and greets, orgainesed swinger social groups, and parties. The parties being the most successful (but not our preference profile contact is) because there is some filtering by the host age, sexual orientationt etc but even at parties we find ourselves hard pushed for both our us liking another couple. We only ever play couple to couple. Meet and Greets, swinger social groups are normally open to anyone, singles, all ages, all sizes and are fun as a social activity we have not had much luck meeting a compatable couple. Our preferred method dispite the timewasters, pretenders etc is the profile on RHP. We feel the couple has made a statement about quite a number of things and generally when get get past the b/s ones that wont meet anyway is fairly accurate. The statements couples make on their profile also forms part of our safe sex criteria. People would never tell you what you want to hear to get into your pants would they! Our preference is the profile for at least they have put something in writing, we are prepared to sort thru the 95% rubbish for the 5% good contacts.
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RHP User
15 years ago
you have written exactly what we discovered after a year of being on the site 80% arnt ready to meet, they want to collect pics, or arnt who they say yes critiquing pics and going straight to a quick mobile call will save LOTS of time.. We find house partys are the easiest,cheapest and best way to meet 3 or 4 couples in one night. Play that night or get numbers for next time... have fun :) Bernie
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RHP User
15 years ago
Wow sounds likes a terrible time. Salina and I are happy to meet for drinks. Our membership expired at the end of last month. But message us and you can ring her anytime you like. We know a couple, they used to live in Brisbane and we never quiet managed to meet up. They sent us a random message after we gave up on them saying 'you guys still looking great' we thanked them and noted they were both now in Sydney. We went to Sydney last week for Australia Day, we messaged them asking them if they were free for the next couple of days, they sent us a text "Hey what are you up to tonight?" . We responded. 'At the casino but happy to meet up where ever you may be." Nothing, no response, not for two days, then I sent a message via RHP. Two days after that we got a response. "oh sorry we sent the text that night, then the battery went on the phone, then we lost the phone, then the dog ate the house and we only just got to read your text now." WTF!! Is it with this fliffly flaffy, can't make up their minds swingy peoples. Grr urgghh (that's also my sex noise fyi) Anyway, drinks, lovely, chat's on the phone excellent. Proof at last that Salina is a lady, that talks in a lovely ladies voice. There, that's easy enough :) And as the Spice Girls once said 'As for me. HA, you'll see." Cheers Andy
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RHP User
15 years ago
RHP needs a 'like' function. Our biggest pet peeve is the profiles with nothing - no pics, no info. Why bother sending a flirt, no-ones going to take them in any way seriously unless they bother putting more than 30 seconds into their profile....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'SalAndy' We went to Sydney last week for Australia Day,................. Two days after that we got a response. "oh sorry we sent the text that night, then the battery went on the phone, then we lost the phone, then the dog ate the house and we only just got to read your text now." WTF!! ....." Cheers Andy What? You were in Sydney wasting your time on unreliables? I could easily have wisked you away on my bike and shown you both a thing or two around Sydney and... you know.... you could have shown me a thing or two.... as for the old "LOST MY PHONE" trick.... well ... I guess that happens even to the most reliable people. :p HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Heya Ticklish, I can understand your dilemma, but when you use the words Unattached, Straight, and monogamous in your profile, maybe you are discounting your chances a bit. Of course it is your right......but..... What is it that prejudices you against Bi guys anyway? Not having a shot at you....just curious.Is anyone on here Monogamous? other than by circumstance.Cheers Nev
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RHP User
15 years ago
I use it all the time. I chat to those I am getting to know and those I have already met. I find it great for verifying they are who they say they are as I go on cam with them. No cam, no meet. It can be a few months before I actually meet someone as I live in a rural town and because of committments can not just pack up and travel any time I like. I guess it also depends a little on what you want. I like the friendship and therefore really want to get to know someone before anything intimate happens, I cannot meet them face to face every week until I do know them so MSN is useful for me.
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RHP User
15 years ago
the funny ones to us are the ones that view your profile repeatedly (sometimes multiple times in one day) but never actually flirt or message you What tha??we even had one couple who had viewed us quite a few times but never sent anything, so because we liked the look of them we sent a flirt to test the waters, no reply and suddenly we are blocked LMAO oh well guess they didn't like us looking back at them As for the meeting up quickly, well we don't always find that easy to do, but that doesn't mean we aren't serious it means we have a life outside of RHP, we work full time and travel and spend time with our kids and we have to arrange babysitting to go out but we have found that people in similar situations to us understand and we do get to meet up with them, those who are not often mistake it as being not interested or time wasters and we are cool with that. Parties are definitely a great way to get to meet people though and so much more efficient than constant msn chat (who has time for that really?) lolMrs Gc
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RHP User
15 years ago
Oh we're huge window shoppers as this is only a small part of our lives and we don't let it rule it. Sure we've tried putting a weekend away for play but then no one is ever up for it and a weekend is wasted. We're busy and usually not conveniently close to those we like so we keep in touch and if planets collide and we're all available at the same time then woohoo fun to be had. We find msn is a great way to catch people for the impromptu meet (we prefer this to booking in 3 months in advance). Oh and we are VERY guarded about what we do for work, why do people have to know what we do to earn a crust within the 1st 5 minutes, sure if you're after a tradie or a suit or whatever then we can give you an idea but FFS why do people want to know exactly what we do? We've met the best people with this approach so won't be changing it any time soon :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'puppy'Oh and we are VERY guarded about what we do for work, why do people have to know what we do to earn a crust within the 1st 5 minutes, sure if you're after a tradie or a suit or whatever then we can give you an idea but FFS why do people want to know exactly what we do? We've met the best people with this approach so won't be changing it any time soon :) Because they are trying to be friendly, Come on, they are not asking the company you are working for, if you said you were a lawyer, Plumber, Business owner in the steel industry? Where is the risk? We will think if you want to hide that what else are you hiding? None of us will put in the newspapers Public Notices " Swinger Pupps they work for...... and live....??/" Evil swingers lol , we have the same reasons as you for being discreet. Plus a family, schools, business that could be harmed. Responces that dont answer our questions on msn we stop answering their questions and simply keep repeating our unanswered resonable questions. and dont engage in new topics. Then it falls over and ends up being another timewaster.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Lustful, the way you have gone about things we wouldn't have any issues with, once there was a female voice on the other end of the line that would be proof enough for us.Ticklish, although we agree with your experience, by no means are we saying to give up, and really, we've met plenty of great people from the websites, I guess we're just trying to avoid that timewasting element with the fakes and tyre kickers that you come across quite often. I guess if everyone was perfect and genuine, there wouldn't be enough time to shag them all, so that's maybe a good thing?Jake, we don't pay much attention to the personal validations, just look for verification and if people don't have that, we usually like to get some proof of who they are before we waste too much time getting to know them in too much detail.Stalky, we can appreciate the advantages of bulk meets, but it's not really our cup of tea.Orallyaddicted, we can understand that people want to have a bit of a perve, and then consult with the other half etc, see if they've changed their criteria etc, all part of it, by window-shoppers we were more meaning by people that say that they are keen to meet, or they send you flirts saying "you walk the walk but do you talk the talk" and then you send them your number and they go all silent, it's a bit contradictory.BadRomance, we agree with most of what you say, except that we do keep details about work out of conversations as we think that has little to do with this side of our life or how much you can trust somebody. It can be difficult to find couples that you are both happy to take things further with, but I guess that's part of the numbers game.AdventureTime, that's part of why we ditched using msn, by going directly from pg swaps to giving out our play mobile number, tends to sort out the people who are serious from the ones that were never going to bother anyway. Because if talking on the phone is too scary for them, god knows how they'll go being naked in our presence....SalAndy (*waves* yes we've met before!) Sounds like you've had a frustrating experience, it's no good when people just make excuses rather than saying they're not interested or not ready to play. Sure, everybody may not be perfect matches for everybody else, but a little bit of honesty can go a long way. Grrrrr right with you.Extra_Spice, agree, nothing stands out more suss than a profile with "ask me" for everything, no verification, and a guest membership, reeks of a 13yo boy jumping online for a perveFionaBee, in your circumstance, being in a rural town, we completely understand that msn is the easiest way for you to connect, and although we don't use it anymore, we did use to jump on cam for 20 seconds to prove we were real, and it was great for that. Our issue was when you are speaking to someone that lives 10-20 minutes away, and they're spending hours chatting to you online, but they can't jump in a car to meet for a coffee for 10 minutes? We found that we could find out more about someone in 10 minutes in person than hours chatting online. It works both ways, if they don't like us, they're not wasting their time either.GCcuriouspair, we've had our fair share of wacky contradictory personalities that leave us going WTF? But we did laugh at your particular experience, sorry. It's not that we have to meet people here and now, some people it's taken months before we've both found the time to play, but our peeve is with the people that take a long time to prove they are real or take small steps to pick up the phone or show they are genuine and serious.Puppy, work has little to do with this part of our lives, we always squirm when the topic comes up in conversation, just don't think exact details are relevant. This is only a part of our lives as well, if something happens great, if not, we go on with other things, but we do find that considering we only have friday and saturday nights to play, we have some weekends where we are wishing for something to happen, and other weekends where we are trying to juggle multiple invitations, so it all balances out in the end.Phew! the end, Jane xxxx
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DonnaBrett
15 years ago
If their profile info is just a series of "ASK ME" answers & if they don't offer face pics straight up they are probably dreamers. If you are contacted but they don't give you a phone number..they're time wasters. Don't waste time with endless emails or useless msn. Once contact is made, if he/she/they are serious, a phone call should happen within a couple of days. If it's a couple you are communicating with make sure you speak to both of them. If they won't talk on the phone...move on!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Geez when I meet a stranger in the street, even if they look slutty and may well be a swinger I don't tell them what I do for a living and that I happen to like dabbling in things that society deems outside of the norm. Why the hell would anyone on a swingers site NEED to know what field you work in BRF4 have said in another post they are not looking for friends, just looking for sex, so is there a book out there that lists what occupations fuck the best? Am I missing anything? Maybe I just have more regard for my family and career? We have answered this useless question when asked before and when questioned back we invariably get a reply of "i work in I.T. or sales or management" yeah well that says sweet fuck all doesn't it. We work in a very small field so such generalisations are not so general for us. It's all good though as it's a great filter for us, if someone is so narrow minded that they wont continue a conversation unless they know our tax file number then we don't want them wasting our time anyway.
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RHP User
15 years ago
People tend to use this seemingly useless question about what you do for a living as a means to opening a conversation. Well I tend to anyway. Just a series of such like random questions in order to begin the conversational ball rolling. What do you do for living, what do you do for fun, etc. I really dont care about what they actually do...so long as it is something. It just gives us a discussion point.
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RHP User
15 years ago
... like what makes you feel happy, sad and definitely sexy? What are some of your favorite things to do in your spare time? If you could change one thing about the world what would it be? If I told you I thought you were sexy how would you feel? Why ask about something you don't care about? I'd rather talk to someone that wants to know these things about me. I hate how the ol' "whatcha do for a crust" has to be the most asked question, do we still judge people by their occupation or are we genuinely interested? Whenever we answer this question it does ends up sparking interest and we spend the next hour chatting about work, faaaark we're here for a bit of escapism not to talk shop.
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