What is it with some men?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  You are the issue!....a really lovely woman in mind body and soul and eminently lovable! The type of woman that a fella could see himself attached too.You know ...that X factor!Maybe you need a one date rule, but then again thats a pain in the arse....isnt' it.Maybe its the type of guy you are choosing!Cheers Nev.........Just supposin here,  cause i have no idea without having met you.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I can only speak from my perspective as a man who is, at this point, interested in no commitment beyond that of friendship, even if the sex blows the top off of Vesuvius. That said, I doubt that I could not be somehow emotionally involved, either in the pure emotional gratification of the act together and more so with a friend. Being completely detached would be impossible..at least for me. | What then...is more? If it means moving in, shopping for rings or worse...taking me home to meet the parents, then perhaps it is a good to separate the wheat from the chaff early. If it means making myself emotionally available, or becoming closer and more intitmate as friends...then perhaps. And if it simply means more great sex more often...who would argue? I am a mere mortal afte all...and very male. I guess we all have our faults. | Perhaps just that elusive chi of balance...and we each will find our own. I wish you well in your journey.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It's usually the other way around. After hooking up a few times, the girls usually start dropping the hints... And I'm forced to pull out the 'i'm not ready for a serious relationship'. Roughly translates to 'i am happy fucking'. xo

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Well I think some guys actually say they can handle the fun when they clearly cant. Your obviously infectious but I have to say it comes down to the head space your in with them. Maybe when talking to these guys not a lot should be revealed or answered. this will only lead to to them wanting more. Anway the underlying thing is people shouldnt contact you if they want more.....Fun and Casual is exactly what it means. Fun and Casual

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I understand where you are coming from Identity hun. I too get the same problem, even from the ones that are soooooooooooooo dead set against any kind of commitment...its actually quite funny. I did ask a guy last year why this happened (as I was and am looking for nothing more than a FB or FWB) and he said that it was because I am so straight forward and because I don't take shit lol. He said that it is a rarity to meet a girl that doesn't want a relationship. Also because I am a strong person and independant, a good listener and communicate without bullshit. I have had a couple of guys tell me that they love me within a month!!! I mean shit...come on!! I have been in love twice in my life...but both took over 6 months before I truly felt that way. Not that I am happy about this, but I used to date just married men so that the emotions wouldn't/couldn't come into play..but I was very very wrong! I had 2 of them leave their wives (I hot footed it when they did as that is not what I wanted). I don't care what anyone says, but I think that men do tend to fall in love quicker than women and I do believe that men do hurt more when a relationship ends... If you see someone becoming emotionally involved...just sit them down and tell them where you stand...if you feel the same way .. great, but if not let them know ASAP. Not sure if this helped but good luck hun xo xFunlovingx

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I guess I have been guilty of that in the past. The best way to deal with it is to be seeing multiple people at the same time and be straight up about it. If you don't want exclusivity have a harem of guys... also its good if the next one arrives as the other is leaving. Name them after a day of the week and always call him by that name. Keep Friday and Saturday open for what other things. I had a relationship like that with a girl for a year and it was great. The Monday guy actually became a friend because it was so funny passing him in the hall way every week. There is little chance of attachment if it is so blatant and that they are a just a fuck buddy and you wont have these problems anymore.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Usually am straight up and say your not the only one, which I think makes them want to be the only one.Maybe I should say its only you baby

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Identity_crisis'Usually am straight up and say your not the only one, which I think makes them want to be the only one.Maybe I should say its only you baby That should work... if you feel they're getting a tad connected - invite them out for a coffee near a jeweller - you know - do a bit of window shopping for a ring. Giggle and laugh and mention how cute kids are EVERY time you see one... especially ones with boogers hanging out of their nose. Mention you've stopped taking the pill... suggest it's time for dinner at your folks or better still tee up a lunch date between him and your dad at the local RSL. . All those things should shake off all but the most clingy types.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Identity_crisis' Usually am straight up and say your not the only one, which I think makes them want to be the only one.Maybe I should say its only you baby That would probably do it...and don't forget to ask if he wants to meet your parents? Oh, and the next time you are at a park together, just smile sweetly and say..."aren't those little babies cute?"

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Women need to feel loved to have sex...men need to have sex to feel love...Maybe some connection between that and your current situation.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Identity_crisis'Usually am straight up and say your not the only one, which I think makes them want to be the only one.Maybe I should say its only you baby Yes, "not the only one" is a most attractive quality in a woman. Imagine my joy in finding a matel that is every bit as much a slut as I am... You should try the "no name, no number" dating game. Anonymous interludes are very interesting and you can just walk on out when you feel like it and say "next". Hugs Stalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  a good catch! Men pick up on this type of woman and want to keep/posess/own her coz she's not like others met so far. Either that or you're getting entangled with soppy Emo types which I find unlikely. You're just going to have to deal with this dynamic. I can think of worse things. Don't change yourself coz you won't be yourself in the end. Just a defensive fed up outlook could develop in you. Tell your men to "Harden the fuck up" if they gonna be with you. There you go.

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