M49
What does taking things slowly mean to you?
September 14 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
That is a big call just because someone is not prepared to sleep with you on the first date, isn't it? Wow, to me having that sort of instant connection is so rare it's almost non existant and the couples of times I have slept with someone on the first date has meant that it goes absolutely no where fast. I often have to get to know someone a little first before I really get turned on and feel the chemistry.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have done this where I believe that what I thought would become a one night stand became more.This was nice and unexpected and was lovely while it did last. But it did not go the distance, either time. Did I expect too much. Perhaps maybe I am not ruling out future one night stands, but now I prefer more substance. I am have been fortunate to have met some men that feel the same way and I am still liking the starry feeling :-) .
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RHP User
11 years ago
It has involved spending the good part of the day / evening together first. Although we did not know each other or had met before until the day of a chance meeting, we had mutual friends. I don’t expect anyone to sleep with me on a first date or they to have that expectation such will happen.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What Meeka said.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've experienced that deja vu kinda feeling with a perfect stranger twice. On both occasions they quite literally turned up right outta nowhere and at both times getting involved with someone was the last thing on my mind. The first one lasted just over 18 years and the next one lasted just over 5. Each of them remain the greatest loves of my life. I've never really been with anyone that didn't turn into something ongoing but I put that down to being in tune instinctively - animal magnetismly (sexually compatibility wise that is). Am I open to the possibility of that happening again? Absolutely!
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RHP User
11 years ago
It can go either way,wants vs needs! We all need sex but surely a connection is what is craved by most on here! When sex happens to me is irrelevant first or fifth date! Spending quality time with special lady,laughing ,flirting ,enjoying company ! Surely must be open to letting in,scared of commitment can be biggest hurdle!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think there IS a level of being jaded. I know from my perspective that constant rejection does slam ones self esteem to the point that I close myself off quite often. It's simply a protection mechanism to avoid yet another disappointment. As I mentioned on a different thread; you can only be positive in the face of constant rejection for so long before you DO start to question yourself...I think we've all been there when we've found ourselves asking "if it were honestly as simple as accepting that woman/guy just wasn't the right one..then why is consistently occurring?? The evidence points to me.....there's something wrong with me!!!" And so the neurotic spiral of ones self esteem plummets to the point of finally asking yourself "why bother meeting at all??" Rejection is simply exhausting and I don't blame those that are closed off.... Taking things slow helps to prevent that.....by focusing on the experiences you share together outside the bedroom allows the arrival of the sexual interactions to become mind blowing. Unfortunately..... Some have a time frame that they wish to use to expedite things which isn't for me.....but for blow and go's it would be.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I call.... social pressure into play. Nobody wants to feel like someones humping bag.Too many guys (In here especially) view a woman as merely a tool for their masturbation.... validation for their sexual insecurities. (Ohhh I just know I'll get mail for that one!) The reasons for that statement are many.... too many to outline in this topic. Back to the point raised. People aren't often genuinely jaded at all. We all have a history, but the label of being jaded is convenient label to apply to someone who doesn't meet your agenda or circumstances. People simply don't want to be taken advantage of. If a woman is saying to you "I want to take things slow" and you're not at a sexual stage....it means she's not quite sure about you yet, and its likely you haven't created sufficient comfort through masculine leadership and attraction triggers to encourage her to express her feminine sexuality.If a woman has sex with you and then says it, it means.... she's not fully sure she can trust you yet. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
BANG, bagged that one. It's rare for me to have sex with someone the first time I meet them. I prefer to know a person reasonably well before I let their teeth near anything intimate.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not having sex on the first date is taking it slow ? Wow ! Dating apps have a lot to answer for !
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RHP User
11 years ago
nothing wrong with it at all, met my husband that way. Blood sod just came home with me and never left
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RHP User
11 years ago
Totally agree- it went like that with both my husbands... And 50scool that was before the popularity/my use of dating apps. I love that starry eyed excited in the moment feeling when you first meet someone you connect with and just get lost in it!! Xxviolet
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RHP User
11 years ago
@ sir_stir I understand where you are coming from. In my past I have fallen into a frame of mind that I found I have had to question my own actions, and honestly answering the below question in individuality, I accepted that I had not fully moved on from the past. Is that because you are so jaded from past experiences, that you’re not prepared to allow anyone in ? @ velvetnoir, kiwibred, inthekiss & violetincredible Thank you for sharing those heart-warming stories :) A long term relationship may be rare and only occur under the right circumstances for all involved, but I have also heard of other couples before in the past where exactly the same has happened to them too. And yes, I did mean to originally say starry “eyed” feeling :) And quoting Kiwibread “Am I open to the possibility of that happening again? Absolutely!” I really enjoyed reading all that you had to say, here’s hoping that you do find that again :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I know from experience that for me personally, meeting someone for the first time with the express intention of having sex doesn't work. I prefer to get to know someone first, and build up the sexual chemistry and tension - for me having some sort of 'relationship' before we have sex makes the experience so much better. Having said that, I have met someone from RHP with whom there was that instant attraction. We met for a drink and had dinner, so did spend some time getting to know each other. I would have jumped into bed with him that night, but unfortunately it was the wrong time of the month for me so it didn't happen. Equally unfortunately, he doesn't live in Perth and although he was travelling here frequently, I haven't heard from him for a while. Hoping it's because he's met someone awesome and is having a fantastic time :). It might be different if you're playing in a group situation - don't know because I haven't gone there yet. Again, that's because I'd prefer to meet first before playing. Wouldn't be so much of an issue I don't think, if I had a wingman to take into a group situation with me lol. Working on finding someone to be that person ;) Much love, Mickelle
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some people are promiscuous and others are not so much. Hmmm love/lust at first sight is amazing but pretty rare for me. Maybe I should get out more. :P
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'tallguykiw' And quoting Kiwibread “Am I open to the possibility of that happening again? Absolutely!” I really enjoyed reading all that you had to say, here’s hoping that you do find that again :) Appreciate that Mr tallguykiw. Serendipity is otherwise known as having your eyes wide open. That 'thing' that I speak of is not something that you look for - it finds you - when you least (or don't) expect it Generally speaking, as far as taking things slow goes, I think Mr Mischeviouslad sums it up best.
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RHP User
11 years ago
As to it finding you, I realised after posting that I had incorrectly phrased that. Look for the edit function but finds none lol I should pay more attention to what I have written before posting.
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RHP User
11 years ago
3.5 - 4.5 km/h or a thrust rate at one second/in > one second/out..For kissing ~ 1.5 tonguelashes every 3.5 seconds..For oral pleasure ~ As long as it takes you to write the alphabet with your tongue.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You need to invest in a better stopwatch etc ie ms count & have at least a commonwealth offical present :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Tonyerotic' For oral pleasure ~ As long as it takes you to write the alphabet with your tongue. See... I read that, and every time it makes me laugh (even if your comment was tongue-in-cheek) If 'she' loves the sensation of the letter E... are you really going to ignore that and defiantly work your way through all the other 22 letters of the alphabet, and waste all that time and effort, just to follow some set formula that Cosmo magazine preached in the 80's?! HAHAHA
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On_Safari
11 years ago
No pressure, No expectations. Just cruisin' along, see how things go.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Tongue and Cheek? More like Clit and Tongue..I did not suggest the alphabet in capital letters. Italic and flowing and possibly in french freestyle..The only medal I ever got was in watersports.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is somewhat masterful lol I shall give you that :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Tonyerotic'I did not suggest the alphabet in capital letters. Italic and flowing and possibly in french freestyle.. Same same.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't meet unless I am attracted to some one through chat in the initial stages. If do meet I generally know what I want and 9/10 end up in bed with them......tester hahaha....sometimes I go back for more and sometimes I delete their number.
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