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Vanilla Sites vs Sex Sites and issues with trust...

July 12 2010

sex

Over the years, I've noticed a lot of offhand comments about how if a person met someone on a sex site, they're less likely to trust them than if they met someone on a vanilla site. Having recently signed up to a vanilla site for the first time, I've noticed to my amusement at least a quarter of the members having accounts with both. I'm not exactly sure if it's the right site for me, I feel almost compelled to tow the line of convention which is like an ill fitting piece of clothing to me.I'm just wondering what makes someone on a vanilla site appear more 'trustworthy' than someone here. Is it that patina of respectability and social acceptability that vanilla sites provide? Is being open about sex and sexuality, means we are people who are also lacking in integrity and morals?Personally, I think that's bullshit! People are going to behave badly if they're that way inclined regardless of where one finds them.

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Well, there can be no saying I am not open about sex and sexuality. If being honest with myself on sexuality means I lack in integrity then that's the way I prefer to be. As for morality.... everyone draws a line somewhere and it's apparently arbitrary, but influenced to a large extent, I think, by our life experiences. Our choice of social networking site is perhaps more a reflection of how we percieve ourselves than any indication of our ethics, moraility or integrity. Of course, this statement is made from the perspective of an apathetic agnostic... a "pastafarian" man.... if you were to ask a fundamentalist Christian the same quesiton then that person would refuse to believe people without Christ have any integrity or morals at all, regardless. So, these life experiences influence our choices and our opinions. Frankly, I wouldnt fuck a fundamentalist Christian anyway. :p Ok.. Maybe Donny Osborne and his sister, but only if they agreed to do me both at once. :p HUgs Stalky

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  • platinumblonde69

    platinumblonde69

    15 years ago

    Casava..Its a question I asked myself many years ago as well, after a guy politely said to me "This is a sex site..What do u expect?"..So I went and tried RSVP..I finally found someone I liked and met and after one meeting, he told me things werent going to work, which was fine..During our meeting we discussed sites such as rhp etc...About 2 days later I received an email on rhp from what seemed a nice guy...i asked for a pic...and wholla....it was him...The sneaky prick (can i say that) joined rhp cause of our discussion about it and wow was he shocked when he realised who he had emailed....So im answer to yr question, I think both types of sites attract the same type of person and its up to us to use our intuition and common sense with who we trust.... Plat

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Someone on a vanilla site hasn't had exposure to the two excellent forum tips / pointers on how to give oral, like those on rhp have. That alone is the reason I mainly steer clear of them. . Actually there's another one - on here, women are always complaining that men bombard them with "Well this is a sex site" in response to every man they knock back. I worry that on those vanilla sites men are bombarded with "Well this is a life-partner / soul-mate / husband finding site". . I guess it's fear of marriage proposals and bad oral that keep me here. Less weirdos too. (pmsl)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    At least on here you have a fair idea what people are looking for. Sure if the find the real deal then they are going to take it to the next level. At least here they are not pretending that they are after sex. I don't for one second believe that all on here are honest. I am not that gullible. Other sites I have looked at also feature a number of the same ladies. I guess they are just having a bet each way.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    You are looking for some great sexual experiences and want an environment where you can talk openly about anything. Vanilla sites are probably better if you are searching for a husband or wife. I know you can find a partner on a sex site and find great sex on a vanilla site but it's like trying to find good coffee at a juice bar.... why take the risk when the odds are against you ? I was a member of a Vanilla (FREE) dating site but it wasn't that vanilla, just full of more bull shit. It was the same stuff (men) hidden behind different disguises. I'd rather know up front what I'm "buying". Hugs, Miss Saturn

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I tried a couple of vanilla sites and I found most of the guys were interested in women who would be described as trophy brides. When someone did contact me it was usually just for a shag anyway and reinforced for me that some guys think if you are over a size 14 you'll have sex with anyone and be grateful. At least here I know people are going to be checking out whether I'm up for a shag. I also know many of the people on here are looking for relationships and they want ones where the sexual chemistry is alive and ongoing. I have also developed some great friendships on this site, with women and men. Can't say I found anyone just wanting friendship on vanilla sites. I like the honesty and I find I can share my curiosity more openly here. Maybe its because it is an adult site that there is an openness already and there is no shame about discussing sex, likes, dislikes and fantasies. WILDly applauding

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I tried a couple of vanilla sites and I found most of the guys were interested in women who would be described as trophy brides. When someone did contact me it was usually just for a shag anyway and reinforced for me that some guys think if you are over a size 14 you'll have sex with anyone and be grateful. At least here I know people are going to be checking out whether I'm up for a shag. I also know many of the people on here are looking for relationships and they want ones where the sexual chemistry is alive and ongoing. I have also developed some great friendships on this site, with women and men. Can't say I found anyone just wanting friendship on vanilla sites. I like the honesty and I find I can share my curiosity more openly here. Maybe its because it is an adult site that there is an openness already and there is no shame about discussing sex, likes, dislikes and fantasies. WILDly applauding

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    As others have said, there are a lot that are on here and on the majority of vanilla sites. It can be quite a lot of fun to find them and compare profiles on both sites. In Vanilla they are all sweetness, wanting to walk hand in hand into the sunset etc, on here, well lets just say a little different lol I freely admit I am on one of the sites continuously belittled here and have found more success there than I ever will here. I do put that down to having to work a bit harder there than here and yes you might not get laid on the first date. But there is no guarantee you will get your dick wet here every date either (much to some idiots amazement). The difference is on the other site I get well repeat business. One of the drawbacks to any adult site like RHP is the numbers game. Guys join up hoping to meet lots of willing females without realising that the numbers are just stacked against him. He has to compete with the other men, couples, and women, too much competition at times lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Morality is Like Art......It Means Drawing a Line Somewhere......

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Good one Nudie.. looks like you're another fan of Oscar Wilde! Hugs Stalky

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Why do you keep talking about me?? LOL

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  • drhelixs

    drhelixs

    15 years ago

    It is true customer 69, many are just on this site for sexy fun, and don't want to find a life partner on RHP. I'm one of them. But, I also think that many more are after that someone really special, without compromising the very needy requirement of sexual compatibility. Good luck to you all, in your quest for satisfaction.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Quoting 'stalky' Good one Nudie.. looks like you're another fan of Oscar Wilde! Hugs Stalky Oh yes indeedy...Love Oscar.....Also have a soft spot for Voltaire"Judge a Man By His Questions Rather than His Answers"

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Two in every one of us is schizophrenic! Vanilla there, neopolitan there and a flake at Mr Whippy. I trust everyone until they let me know otherwise by their behaviour or actions. It can be disappointing but that's life and expextations cannot always be met. Hopefully there is some wild fun before the integrity issue by some. Some people are disgusting liars and goof off at their charm and slyness, thinking we don't know, but that is their undoing as we are just too nice to tell them they are shit. And so it goes on with us honest types....moving slowly away from liars that they don't even notice we are gone...... What you've discovered is a side step away and an early warning of character faults - well done. (allow for discrepency and personal dynamics to each person, there may be paradoxical factor, but how will you know coz liars know no guilt, it's simply win or lose at deception)

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