M42
Validations: insight or brag?
February 11 2024
Many don’t seem to add any insight into the behaviours one may wish to understand or support what’s on someone’s profile. So are they moreso a brag versus and useful recommendation?
Also, is there an optimal number for any of you? Past which they seem “easy” (this may not be the right word but you get the context).
How do you all view these things and what do they tell you about someone in terms of volume and sincerity?
Comments
RHP User
10 months ago
I have to say I do find validations a put off unless they are about personality. Apart from yeah we had fun validations don't really mean that much as sexual chemistry is generally different with different partners.
Many years ago when I was here I had a lass ask if she could leave me a validation purely for the person I was. I wasn't keen on the idea but she really wanted to so I said yes.
Margo_Lover
10 months ago
Reading other people's validations is critical for us.
So many online are fakes and time wasters. Validations show they've actually met real people, and been interesting/fun enough for said people to write about them. And for single guys, that a woman has validated they're not complete aholes.
It's rare we'd meet anyone who isn't validated.
For us, validations are not a brag, but a vital clue that this person is maybe who they claim to be.
- Alex.RHP User
10 months ago
Depends on what one is looking for. I am not seeking love by any means, chemistry is just a matter of statistics, and I don’t particularly care if they can “f😈ck all night long”. For a ONS seeker, fluff seems perfect. The depth (!) of the validation then should surely be proportionate to the level of desired outcome sought. I would seek courtesy (with or without chemistry or ongoing meets), punctuality, humour, friendly, respectful etc. All other “validations” are just scrolled on by. No judgement, YKINMKATO 🙂💖
RachWandered
10 months ago
No longer giving, receiving or reading them.
Prefer to make my own mind up.
I’ve kept a few on my profile for personal reasons. But I’ve really changed my mind about them now. Tbh I’m my best advocate for everything and ultimately my opinion of myself and others is what matters.
MsSuperFoxy
10 months ago
Validations = what's trash to some is treasure to others. Can lead to trouble in paradise. IMO best to have none or 1 or 2.
30+ validations = very questionable.
Ms FoxySawadee
10 months ago
Never read a bad validation yet .. makes me wonder why ? I get the saying " if you cant say anything nice " dont say anything at all.. but the 10 validation + become abit sus ?
Ex007
10 months ago
If someone has any more than 3 validations and or 10 friends it's an automatic no. I will also judge people on the quality of their friends and or the people who have written the apparent validation.
ArtsyLusttty
10 months ago
One word: brag .
ArtsyLusttty
Obi1kenietzsche
10 months ago
I find it interesting that many validations written by men seem to be more about big-noting themselves rather than the women they are supposedly validating.
Quite a few read like a test drive review for a motor car or a Ute.
Others read simply more like an animal pissing on something in an attempt to mark their territory.
Validating is therefore (and always has been) a polite no from me.
MrandMrsEss
10 months ago
We have limited our validations to 2, one we have played with and one we went to dinner with. I feel these give an indication we are genuine, nice and real. That’s all I want from them and the rest people can work out for themselves.
MFMHotWife
10 months ago
Validations sure are helpful to sort the real players from the fakes. Don't know that I have an opinion on "Too Many" Validations.... Each to their own.....
Swingingnudist
10 months ago
Validations are great. At least you know the person or persons are real and actually turned up and was respectful.
I suggested to RHP a while ago that there should be a provision for negative validations so to speak. For example if someone didn't turn up or was disrespectful etc then there can be a negative feedback given. RHP hold the negatives against the profile and if there is say 5 negatives against that profile from different sources then those negatives get applied to their profile. Just seems a good way to filter the time wasters out. They would soon get the idea.
Opalrose
10 months ago
Had 17 validations on my old couples profile. It turned people off. But only one of those validations was from someone we slept with, the others were people we had met numerous times at events, both as attendees or hosts.
Andrea_Sydney
10 months ago
Coming across from other apps, I have to say when I saw validations, I was taken aback. I thought that’s so judgemental. And so crude in a way. I got used to seeing them now. But for me - what happened to exploring a person? Even if “just” for sex. It’s such a human experience to have sex with someone.
Exploring the person is part of the fun/attraction. But I guess others like to skip that part. That’s fine too and then the validations might come in handy.
Personally - I don’t pay attention to them. Just because someone had a great time with somebody doesn’t mean I will.
TheMinx
10 months ago
I am a sapio sexual reading or writing validations turns me on. I get lots of pleasure writing about some highlights from play dates.
Reading other's validations I end up down rabbit holes clicking through each profile my constant thirst to engage my brain with others rendezvous is a huge turn on.
People have made comment on my number asked how many years I've been on here done some quick maths and come up with a conclusion. This is not eHarmoney I'm not here for walks along the beach (unless its the nude beach) and romantic dinners. I'm here to meet like minded people (obviously fellow sapio) for new adventures.
I get messages quite often because I have validations but the other side of not getting messages because I have them I am not sure about or fazed.
It's my way to say thank you for the adventure. At the end of the day you do you bo.
ElectricDreamers
10 months ago
We really like them - here or on other sites.
They show that someone is actually likely to turn up. ✅️
When personalised and/or well written they can give you a sense of whether the person/people you're interested in are -
Polite ✅️
Funny/fun ✅️
Repeat visitors ✅️
And so on.RHP User
10 months ago
We find them useful really only to give a little more credibility to a profile. We like the ones that just say that they met them and a few nice things about them ...more just validating they are who they say they are on their profile.
That said a bunch of validation that a just people blowing smoke up each other's ..... With every intimate detail of there sexual encounter is a little off-putting and we often wonder why they wouldn't just tell each other the good news and graphic highlights in person after their date.
We often wonder how the people from the previous validation feel when the profile they have validated receives or sends another. Also are they a bit like a tattoo they are a mark on your profile that could work well for you at the time but as the people...person from that profile change ...do you always want that association and vice versa.
We are still a little unsure....
PerthVixen
10 months ago
Validations are fairly unique to RHP . . . because of its origin as a Swingers message board.
Couples could leave a validation as an indication that the other couple were genuine (not catfishers), safe & would show up to an arranged meet.
Most men won’t accept a validation unless it makes them sound like a demigod like Thor.
Anything less - even complimentary of their communication, manners, accommodations of safety, friendliness - are rejected as validations.
Men will also ‘accept’ validations but rarely reciprocate.
🤷🏼
CallMeV
10 months ago
As a single guy's perspective,
1. Validations are good boost for a profile to get noticed and also to know that this person is real or fake.
2. It does not need to be more sexual flavour in explaining the private moments.
3. There are people who doesn't give validations to maintain low attention. So the profile is not a fake, if it has 14 friends and only 9 validations.
4. I see 1 or 2 validations on a profile as red flag. However, I would go into each validations (profiles) to see if they have got validations or not, to confirm authenticity of those validations and those people are active or having subscription.
5. We have the option to reject the negative validations, however people don't spend time on writing a negative if the meet up was not as expected. They might block or not even add as a friend.
CrouchingTiger
10 months ago
Bragging is fine on RHP ✌️
RHP User
10 months ago
We have seen many profiles with 60 plus validations ..
Great accomplishment! (don’t know how one gets the time to meet that many people .
Good luck to them ..
But for us too many validations are a little off putting .!
We believe validations are necessary and most are genuine …
Helps us filter potential people that we meet ..
MandEcouple 💋
Restlessgirl46
10 months ago
I love giving and receiving a validation.. and the number.. well I guess it depends what you are looking for.. in my case I’m looking for a regular playmate.. if the guy has over 10.. well despite being a great lover he’s probably not what I’m looking for.. When I look at couples who are in the lifestyle.. Im like wow thats awesome they must be great couple.. when I give them I also try to highlight things I think are important.. communication, ease of plans.. respect.. not just how big someone’s cock is lol
RHP User
10 months ago
I think the amount of validations doesn’t necessarily reflect wether or not the person/couple are players. They may have been in the scene a long time and have accumulated beautiful validations from amazing friends. It may also indicate they have a group of friends around them rather than players. There are so many different reasons and I think we can’t really judge based on not knowing. Validations can give you an insight into how people connect with you and I personally enjoy reading them. Sometimes I may even contact someone who has given a validation to ask for clarification on a couple or single and it has helped us with our decision.
MrandMrs
9 months ago
From our experience, one needs to look at validation with a tea spoon of salt, chilli and pepper !
Exploring5110
9 months ago
For us, a validation or 2 is a good thing when looking for prospects. You at least know they are real and get involved, not just fake scrollers. Everyone has their own opinion, but thats the beauty of being you. Do what makes you feel good. Validate or don’t, your choice.
RHP User
9 months ago
The validations prove you are real and looking to meet and make connections. If someone wrote a validation for me and said "haven't had sex with him bit absolutely loved our coffee date etc etc" inwould be so honoured she wrote that as she is saying "this guy is a decent man" and really lots of ladies like that in men. Also I wouldn't put anything negative in validation. Just me.
SweetSerenade
9 months ago
Considering were on a swinger's dating site, wouldn't one assume no validations means the profile has very limited activity or no positive outcomes in their engagements here?
Anyone entering into the ENM space would be naive to hold onto childish fantasies that the people who are attractive and engaging don't have sex with a variety of people?
Validations are simply that. A testimonial that the validated are genuine, do turn up, without drama and jealousy issues, can communicate, and know what they're doing in a group sex situation. All attributes that are pretty important to us.
Quietman1969
9 months ago
This is a multi faceted issue and I could literally write a metre long post and hardly touch the surface.
From my standpoint, and not just in relation to this site because I am on others with multiple validations - whereas on this site I only have one, validations are a moving target dependent upon the profile and the person.
With me, I’m a single male, I choose not to show my photo for privacy reasons, and I make reference to earth shattering massages.
I have learnt that all of these things can be red flags 🚩 to scammers, cat fishers, and even sociopaths.
So I’m my case, whilst a validation of my prowess might be useful and titillating I suspect that it’s really about protecting validating my authenticity and integrity in as much as it relates to trust and personal safety if I am to meet a single woman in her own home.
So, if you follow that premise you could see how each individual’s circumstance might warrant a different weighting to different matters to make that validation useful to others
It’s a juxtaposition between validating so many aspects of a person and or couple.Obi1kenietzsche
9 months ago
A good mix of opinions from the above forum contributors, and some surprises as well.
But I wonder if anyone who hasn’t got any validations now thinks they should go get a few just because otherwise no one will believe that they are real and/or will show up?
Maybe I should go ask for a few myself?
Obi1
welfedunlovd
8 months ago
Dont know seems ill at ease with my manners and what the only validates il give is to somewhen when i meet them and verbally
RHP User
5 months ago
For me personally, if a guy has more than 20 validations, I block him right away. I think that he is the type of man that just sleeps around and I dont respect men like that because he would be not open to more than anything than sex and I dont want to be just another number. I think that men who sleep around too much have issues to deal with. This is what I think and it's okay if others disagree with me.
I was talking to a guy with 20 validations and all this validations said that he is good looking and handsome. I saw all of his photos including his face. He was not attractive to me at all. When I didnt want to sleep with him, he became rude and offensive and I had to block him.
I met another guy who had 23 validations on here and I just blocked him.
I think that some of these men just want to brag. It's not attractive. It's a turn off. Like a MAJOR turn off.
There is no need to brag to the whole world how many people you have had sex with. I believe in being private, respectful and tasteful.
People can do what they want, but I honestly find any man on here with too many validations as major NO. It's an automatic block from me.
TopFun
3 months ago
I try to make validations fun, cheeky, playful and truthful. This is also the chance to be creative and let that person or couple know that they are lovely people and you are happy you had the pleasure of meeting them.
Magdalena
2 months ago
I love validations and feel much more comfortable meeting people with validated profiles.
I’ve met a few people without validated profiles and quickly realized that no validations doesn’t mean they’re new or modest but maybe there’s red flags, disrespectful behavior, dishonest profile photos etc.
One showed up without condoms after agreeing to safe sex, I left and he blocked me immediately.
One tried to do things I hadn’t agreed to without discussion.
Others just straight up don’t look anything like their profile photos.
I’ve given a few validations but only to people I felt safe with, who were respectful, seemed genuine, and who represented themselves and their interests honestly in their bio.
I’ve also been slut shamed in messages from unvalidated dudes who think validations are “loose” and having them means I’m only after “players”
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