Unaccompanied here... a bitter sweet moment

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I have chatted with a few guys who are in your situation. They still love their wives but are in a sexless marriage. I dont like cheating but sex is very important to me and a big part of a relationship. You are lucky in that your wife allows you to find an outlet elsewhere . Theres akways wanking right? Well no.....its nothing like the feeling of physical affection, being touched and feeling wanted. So much as I dont like cheating ( and I mean deceipt, not your situation ) I cant understand women who think they can deny their men sex and think they will be acceptant of it. I was talking to a mature gent who has been in that situation for over 20 years. No sex....no kissing...not even a hug. Its sad. I dont think I could stay with someone if there was no physical contact. Hank...youre a lucky guy in the respect that you still have a relationship and can play with your wives consent. X

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I am on here alone, with my husbands consent. He has had only one play and decided he needs more time to get into this lifestyle. I am lucky he doesn't mind me playing alone, and yes he will verify he knows I'm here. I guess we are lucky that we talked, talked and talked some more. It is not easy, and I wish you all the best. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  She asked, I told, now she wishes she'd never asked.Not a good atmosphere in our house today.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  ...my hat's off to both of you for hanging in there. Poorly matched sex drives (and other misfortunes that cause sexless marriages) can be very corrosive...I eventually ended my marriage of 14 years when we were incapable of being civil to each other. That was about 4 years after the sex ended but it had been a slow-burn for years before that. I don't regret putting us both out of our misery...and it came after counselling, career changes, a number of inter-state moves etc....aimed at trying to resuscitate what was ultimately a corpse....while being single's better than being in a fucked marriage, it has its downside and divorces are financially crippling (for both parties) so unless things get to the murderous stage keep hanging in there. Regards

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  aussian43

  9 years ago

  I know where you are coming from. I was resigned to a life of jerking off over porn when an opportunity came up. When I first raised the idea with me partner she said no. But after thinking it through, gave her permission. I consider myself very lucky! Actually hooking up with someone has its own set of difficulties, the lady I first hooked up with, soon fell into a relationship. Most ladies tend not to be interested in someone who is already attached. I have had some luck since this first started though.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Sounds like I'm in a similar situation to libbylou. My hubby hasn't had a play yet. He knows I'm on here and approves. But he still finds it hard for me to go on meets and plays. He was adjusting really well when I had a regular, but since that ended he's taken a few steps back again. I think he was comfortable with me seeing the same person and knowing a fair bit about them. His main issue is that I'm safe - not just protection safe (although that's a given), but I'm his wife and the mother of our children. And he stresses a little about something happening to me, or me being hurt. Talking seems to be the essential component - talk, talk, talk. I find it hard sometimes because I know it would be easier if he was out having the same great time. But being a married man the odds are against him. And he isn't fully invested in it yet.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I am also in this boat it is good to see a thread like this pop up makes me feel a lot less alone to know that I'm not the only one stuck in this weird situation My relationship turned long distance very suddenly At the very start of our relationship my wife gave me rules of engagement, so Ive had permission from day dot but knowing i have permission and taking to steps to get out there and play alone are two totally different things Even with her full blessing, I still find I have the need to check every now and then I find the whole solo experience very stressful Thankfully the people I have met here have been really nice and very accepting Hank don't ask don't tell, is a terrible policy I would really recommend you keep up the communication with your wife take it slow and easy, you wont solve any issues that need attention with out communication she would not of asked if she didn't have some sort of need from you talk it out, there must be a way for you both to get what you need but first you have to identify what those needs are

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I was sincerely hoping it would have worked out for you. I hope you both work things out and come to a mutual agreement. Big hugs to you xx

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Champagne wanking is OK, good for the prostate but it's so much better to have someone with you when you cum, you know skin on skin, caressing, kissing and you know the drill.Codsworth she made it clear she didn't want to know about it but when she asked I had to give an honest answer...Wicca thanks I think it will still work out.

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  Tall74nHard9

  9 years ago

  This sorta problem is obviously a sensitive subject to bring to the fore, but a little more background info might shed some more light to enable better replies. Why is it a 'sexless' marriage ? Your wife has given you permission to look (and play), yet she has just asked you again recently about the topic. As she knows that there is a sexual issue, then why is she interested in an update on the subject ? I don't want to pry into delicate issues, but to me it must be apparent to her why the situation is as it is. Tall

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  That's very personal questions!! Hank good luck. If your wife said go find it somewhere else, and you did, what does she expect? No disrespect to your wife but some woman seem to want it all their way. I am glad that you have found some intimacy and pleasure in your life. :)

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  Tall74nHard9

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'CandyDelicious' That's very personal questions!! Indeed, as I made note of in my comments.Tall

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Plus he hasn't asked for people's advice or comments on his situation. This thread was a place for people in similar situations to comment on their own situations in any way they chose. It is interesting though how so many people always want to solve other people's marriages or problems when they havne't even asked! That isn't directed at you Tall, just something I have noticed on this particular forum. :)

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'CandyDelicious' That's very personal questions!! Hank good luck. If your wife said go find it somewhere else, and you did, what does she expect? No disrespect to your wife but some woman seem to want it all their way. I am glad that you have found some intimacy and pleasure in your life. :) Tall, I'm not going there, not on RHPCandy Delicious, we were sitting round the fire pit on Saturday night drinking whisky together when she raised the matter. Note here this the first time in 18-24 months she's raised the matter. The truth was somewhat of a shock to her, she has now come to terms with what she learnt then and does not want it all her own way. She has reiterated what she said when she originally gave me her consent to play around and that is she doesn't want to know about. Which brings us back to DADT.CD thanks for your well wishes, they're a pleasant contrast to the scorn I've had for being here.

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  Tall74nHard9

  9 years ago

  Understood what you have said, but my comments have only been in response to what Hank has put up as the topic subject, as well as his own response later on. Not looking to deviate the course of the topic, but merely to better understand his own situation - in particular why his wife brought up "the subject" again recently, when apparently she still has no interest. The appearance does suggest that as Hank is allowed to play at will, she still may harbour some feeling to be included - but at what level ? Tall

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Ive been with my wife for 33 yrs sex has never been a priority for her and the last ten years have been a non event in the bedroom. So after much thought and the help of a wonderful woman i have decided to end it within 2 weeks.This friend is not "the other woman"but has opened my eyes, I thank her very much for that and hope that in the future we can be friends. I know exactly how you feel Hank and thats a gutsy effort getting permission to go elsewhere. My wife would never go for that hence the split.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I am the male partner of a couple, and i signed us onto this forum as a couple because we both want to be involved and to get to find out what this forum is all about, however she works full time, i am retired, and i am the one who is more active online, my partner comes home, has dinner, showers, then goes on facebook till midnight. We have a good relationship after 26 years, sex went off for a while, and 2 years ago we decided to try and fix it up by trying new things together, and so far things are pretty sweet, but i do wish i had found this forum back then, cos it would have helped us for sure. I have to feel for some of you guys and girls who are lost in sexless relationships, but you stay together, and i don't know if i could cope, which is why when things were not so great for us, we decided to try and fix it rather than let it go. Cheers, and good luck to you all.

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