F53

Trouble in Paradise

August 26 2012

My partner coodi_yowie often states “babe you should post on the forums” so I dedicate this musing to him J I SOMETIMES get the feeling that with the crisis in the middle east, environmental pollution and all the high stress living that we do,the world as we know it is`nt going to last much longer.That one day a big monty python style foot will decend from the heavens and squash us all flat,for being as a ex patient suggested – duuuur`brains! And if that happened we`d have to all start all over again,this makes me think about what it`d be like .. So ..God created the world a second time on her new Apple Mac and in it put a Garden of Eden. In the Garden she put Adam and Eve and a Janome sewing machine so Eve could make some clothes. A Hills Hoist so Eve would have somewhere to hang the clothes after she washed them and then added a nice pergola covered patio with a stereo/bar fridge so Adam would have somewhere comfy to enjoy his Rogers beer. When she finished creating and looked down immediately her thoughts were NO WAY this caused problems the last time, FUCK THIS – and so she gave Adam big hips. Adam leapt from his IKEA outdoor setting and complained “hey blokes don`t have big hips,how am I gonna wear my basketball shorts and go down the pub for a drink with my mates after the game?” God said “stop complaining and make sure you recycle that can when you`ve finished”. “I`ve given you big hips so you have somewhere to balance the washing basket,this is what equality is all about”. “So amuse yourself with doing the cooking,cleaning and womens weekly crossword puzzle”. Adam went up to Eve and asked “baby can you run me a bigger pair of shorts on your new Janome?” *SMILES* Fuck you Adam. I know all about female explotation,you`ll have to do it yourself. Then she went to put the new roof on the colourbond shed she was building behind the bbq. So Adam made a Yahava coffee and checked out the Coles specials on the net. He became adept at making tuna patties and unblocking the plug in the kitchen sink. He took care of his appearance, and especially when Eve came home from work told her how sexy and funny she is, so his woman would`nt get bored and start playing around. In his own way he was quite content. But it did`nt last of course. Before long there were other men in the Garden like LittleRedEngine (I apprechiate our friendship) distributing masculine literature,making Adam self doubt his God given role in life. So Adam did a self awareness course,hit the gym,burned his basketball shorts and took up a full time mining job. And Eve converted to Islam and became an arms dealer,not before acknowledging the woman/couple who fucked Adam a few weeks ago and offered to send a thank you note,what was she going to unblock Eve`s profile? As people suggested on MsPeachy`s post (great seeing you friday) its tacky and a big FUCK YOU. And the world became an unsettled place. God aka Tuscan Red (luv you too) looked down and thought “maybe it`ll be a case of third time lucky?:)

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RHP User

13 years ago

Coodie is a cool guy, enjoy his posts. Good on ya for having a go, I have tried to get Kj to participateover the years, but zero interest so far.Haven't read all your post yet, a little distracted with Vodka and BFMV at the moment.Cheers Felonius

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RHP User

13 years ago

After Eric Idle appeared, I was so hoping the Olympic Closing Ceremony was going to end with His Giant Foot stomping down. You let us down, Boyle*.*Nah, it was good.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Tuscan Red,I love itx Hesione TR accolyte

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RHP User

13 years ago

Rogers doesn't come in cans, only stubbies.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Gee I don't know about the big foot I thought we were the big foot. Especially for other species. Examples of the big foot include the meteor that hit the what would be the gulf of mexico, dead dinosaurs all over the place.. The invasion of australia by aboriginals , oops megafauna extinct. Invasion of australia by the english oops various plant species and fauna , ie;tassie tiger, red cedar. Around 40 extinct species in the last 200 years just in aussie. A shark takes a bite out of a surfer and there are calls for "culling" sharks and I thought we already eating them for fish and chips. North america extinct species all over the place ie; great plains buffalo, wolves almost extinct. We continue to pump carbon into the atmosphere at increasingly high levels causing ocean acidification, increased heat retention in the biome, chopping down forests at an increasing rate loss of bio diversity, amazon rainforests disappearing so the USA can have as many big macs as they feel like. So "god" will sort it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Mike

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RHP User

13 years ago

Sorry. This is like tom-ay-toes and tom-are-toes isnt it? The word is "apree-see-ation" (according to my Collins) . I am aslo assuming that if there was a God (dess) SHE would have a good bit more sense than to just reverse roles and fuck things up a second time round. We have already proven beyond a shadow of doubt that there can be no assigned roles and tasks in life...we can all fit where we like and that is what a new Garden of Eden would be like.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' Apparently we were all created equal in the first place and we were given free will to choose our own roles in life. Well, according to a bunch of rich old dudes with beards and an interest in maintaining the status quo, of course.

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RHP User

13 years ago

... water saving 4 min showers, the flip side being an endless supply of dirty dishes though, but that's ok cause when it's your turn to cook it's always takeaway, no bench space or dishwashing required *grins* ... an introduction to a board game involving meeple's, drunk monks and lazy farmers... LRE got the mobile version so it can be played anywhere.... like at the perth city farm cafe while eating the best steak sandwich ever and drinking latte's.... very cool ... in return my dog brings fleas into the house to live in your rug, you spend $800 on a new couch and would rather lay on the floor counting, then squashing the jumping fleas... i love your mysterious ways.on a more serious note... i absolutely love the way you fluff up my pillow before sleepy beddy byes, but where's that bloody scarf you were making me... winter's nearly over *frowns*

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RHP User

13 years ago

Gods (a funny thing for me to say) gifte (posh spelling) to beer drinkers of a sober age.We've missed your writing Ali. ~hugs~I'm surprised to see someone "outed" in this post. Poor form i think sensual.

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RHP User

13 years ago

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RHP User

13 years ago

God looked down and saw that the people needed some bleeding bloody cultcha So decided to have an art exhibition At InquB8 gallery in Mandurah 63 Ormsby terrace on the 13th of Ocbober between 1-3.30 and told all those in the garden of eden to put a red dot between for finger and thumb so they would not inadveranty hit on some innocent member of the public God thought holly fuck the RHP naughty devil may revoke her post privaliges for the add but then how can the non payed up members get to know where it is, and they may be turned into pillars of salt if they never went. Fig leaves manditory In Tuscans garden, there are two men for every woman, who know how to cook and clean and all loo seats are stuck down and are self cleaning. Chocolate is non fattening Men have a hidden dick on their chin, that comes out just at the right time. Ms Sprinkles gets to wear all her hot black slippery stuff, and prance around driving them all crazy

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RHP User

13 years ago

Thaanks for the tip to get app but how do I add the pic to my profile photo. Sorry everyone I'm RS.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Dear Mum.. Thought I'd send a short text,I'm having fun in Mandy,staying at TR's pad and its lovely Coodi,LittleRed and MsPeachy are here aswell. Fortunately last nights storm did'nt do much damage but LRE was disappointed to find his GIANT bicycle wrapped around the street pole this morning.He's just gone down to the trampoline centre to cheer himself up. MsPeachy tied Coodi to a tree and we did'nt find him till lunchtime. Luckily he managed to get the gag loose with his tongue.Tho I'm surprised its still intact after digging that stoned pit *grinning* he's a super miner,excavating and dumping dirt is his job. Gotta go now.. S'xx

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RHP User

13 years ago

that was not a good idea, I just gave myself two black eyes! Its an OH&S issue with saggy boobs and the bounce put the kettle on luv we all need a cuppa

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RHP User

13 years ago

Good idea! We really enjoy reading what you write Ali Sprinkles!

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Trouble in Paradise

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