F56
Translating
December 06 2014
Comments
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Translates = DO NOT do what ever you want. Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
"You know, I find it hilarious that you..." Hint, she does not find it even vaguely amusing....
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RHP User
11 years ago
"don't you wanna cum?" Translation: I'm cummed out, can you stop and make pancakes. "watcha thinkin'? Translation: WHO IS SHE!!?? "any thoughts for dinner?" Translation: Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Seymour.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's crap like this that continues to give stable, honest and levelheaded women a bad rap and prevents what they say from being taken at face value. Hilarious. (No that's not woman speak, it's sarcasm.)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Am I missing something ..... As a guy I have no idea why women just cant say what they mean ...... Ah life's unsolvable questions like how did the dinosaurs die and who killed JFK. Cheers, W
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RHP User
11 years ago
"Gentleman, what else do women say that confuses the fuck out of you?" Pretty much anything and everything!
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luvsilver
11 years ago
I am just ducking into this clothes shop for two minutes = You know that seat all good quality shops have out the front,you better sit down and use it as this could take some time I have had this handbag for ages = Bought it yesterday It was on special = I paid full price All the mums at school think that new single dad at the school is very good looking = Maybe he could be our next threesome playmate. BTW - if you think there is some sort of pattern going on here with the shopping stuff.Its because there is-lol Mr Luvsilver
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MsJonesy
11 years ago
I'll be twenty minutes = It means an hour - minimum
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sure. That does not mean he is agreeing, it means "Ask me again as i am not listening to a word you are saying, preferably when I am not busy doing something important, like watching the TV."Ill be in the shed. Means "Shut the fuck up. I'm out of here."Its just me and some mates on a fishing trip. Means "Me and my mates or going to get drunk as skunks, chat up some topples bar girls and trash some poor pub down south."I will be happy to help. Means, he will now phone everyone he knows to find someway, anyway to get out of helping.Which girl?. Means. He has not been able to stop thinking about her since he saw her the moment she entered the party two weeks ago.I won't forget. Means, I forgot?That looks great on you!. Means Lets go already! We are one hour late as it is.Just one more. Means "I am not going till I am done, there are 24 beers in ONE carton."She is just a friend. She is far more than a friend if he had it his way.I will miss you. means. Finally a weekend with the house to my self, my undies, my beer, and my old CD collection. Counting the minuets till you go.. Hippy.In a minuet. means Some time between now and before I go to bed, but most likely tomorrow, or next week, maybe.If you insist. means, You had better have exhausted every single possible option there is before I do that.I have looked every where. means "He has look everywhere within one foot of where he expected it to be."
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RHP User
11 years ago
People whine about stereotypes all the time, then continue to perpetuate them. At least Blindman gave some balance to the 'humour'.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested Everything you say can and will be held against you!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
When women use the word "but" in a sentence forget anything they said before the "but"
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RHP User
11 years ago
"REALLY" translates to wtf have you done now?? Women have a highly complexed brain and to successfully study it would take years, men have less complex brains that's why with a beer and a remote control we can be satisfied Truly gents just listen to them , observe what women are trying to say and keep them happy, otherwise life's a bitch #stillearning #willneverlearn - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I disagree..... Any thread doesn't make anyone look bad..... Only their actions/reactions.... :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sure. I wonder what the responses would have been like if this forum had been posted by a guy. Will bow out now, I understand this thread was meant to be lighthearted and don't mean to ruin it, L4Q.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Meander was talking about stereotyping a whole sex and in an unflattering way, this constant crap that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus or whatever that book suggests. Actually I have never red that book. So it would be like me starting a thread about truckers & the stereotypical things they say and do ..... It would be terribly hilarious but probably not fair. :P I actually do it sometimes. My FWB will sometimes respond and say "this is a trap isn't it, you are doing the chick thing". And I realise I am without even realising it. Oopsie bit seriously it is annoying that men can be so.... Unaware! see what I did here? ⊂(◉‿◉)つ
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RHP User
11 years ago
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing herprivate area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitorwhenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough,there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy asthis sounds, maybe a little 'Oralsex' will do the trick andbring her out of the coma!' The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would closethe curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into hiswife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate.The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried. The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'
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RHP User
11 years ago
Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have come to realise that women love to bitch about and bash their own gender, both on an individual and collective level. We do it far more than men bash their own gender / other men. Note #notallwomen. I have a couple of theories about why this is but I've also learned that the RHP forums are not the place to debate serious issues.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
= extremely beautiful sexy sensual woman that my partner/husband would fuck at any opportunity
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RHP User
11 years ago
Great joke by the way love it, where did peoples sense of humour go??
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes, it was meant to be light hearted. I like to have fun and laugh at myself sometimes. Thank you to every one who contributed in the spirit that it was posted.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
LQ4, It is funny and I had a chuckle. It is ok to poke fun at ourselves once in a while to lighten our mood and also keep things in perspective. Not one to condone female stereotyping nor bash our own sex or opposite sex but however I have a self-deprecating humour so this works for me, sometimes. I am just an average person who appreciates a little ribbing once in a while and it does not affect my self-belief any slightest. I choose what will affect me as a person and ignore what is not constructive. Humour is a sanity saver, everything else is water off a duck's back. Raaaalfffff, funny woman. Good jokes to kick start Monday. Thanks. I would have gotten off the 5th floor though or even the 4th. haha. Blindman, good one. Glad it got you off your stat program for a minute. You must have been well acquainted with all screen delimeters in your scripts and find it sexy. Lol. It has become the little 'Frankenstein' you have unleashed onto the unsuspecting RHP populace.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You never used any of those terms on our dinner date the other night lol. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Adding to the above... A womans silence ... could mean anything but assume you are in the wrong and approach with caution man " is anything wrong dear?" means, is anything wrong, shall we talk Woman " NO " means shit yes ! Man "ok " means ok I'll leave you to it then After a while woman says "why aren't you talking to me?" means, you dumbass get over here and listen to me I'm about to give you the biggest serve and you've got it coming to you so buckle up !! Man says " but I thought you wanted to be left alone" means, I thought everything was fine because you said so before. Woman says " If you loved me you would know what it is Im upset about and you should know what Im thinking and have fixed it by now, and you haven't and now Im really mad and angry at you " This is one of those moments she actually means what she says ... Man " but .. splutter .. I ... " (means he's confused) Woman "shut up Im talking" (means shut up she's talking and its probably the best strategy for the next hour) Flipside man gets home from work ... Woman "hello" smiles, maybe a peck on the cheek. means Heelloo someone to talk to. Man "Grunt" means Im tired let me in the door already. woman "how was your day?" means let me tell you about mine. man "grunt". means, it was crap and I dont want to talk. woman "would you like a cup of tea?" means lets get settled down for that nice chat. man "grunt ..uh .. no thanks". means I want a beer, shuffles over to the paper and starts going through the sports pages... (this is a key subliminal clue .... ) as she proceeds to tell him about her day.... Later on, as he is settled in front of tv and a couple of beers later.... woman "are you ready for dinner dear?" means go shower and get ready, dinner will be in an hour. man "grunt". means maybe after a couple of more beers.. After dinner the man is feeling refreshed and a bit perky with a few beers in him, slaps his woman on the butt and says, "you look lovely tonight dear, have you done something different with your hair?" means lets go have sex. woman ....... silence ...... refer to the top of post for reference ....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Meander was talking about stereotyping a whole sex and in an unflattering way, this constant crap that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus or whatever that book suggests. Actually I have never red that book. So it would be like me starting a thread about truckers & the stereotypical things they say and do ..... It would be terribly hilarious but probably not fair. :P Meeka you are absolutely correct here, I read the first 2 chapters and rejected it as a lot of rubbish, written by a guy divorced and remarried 5 times, probably 6 by now, who is not a role model of success, but of failure with a serious disconnect from reality. And his book sells on the humour and he's laughing all the way to the bank. My wife read it and believed it, everything turned worse ... took about 4 years to get her to realise that one cannot continually reinterpret what people say and to make it mean something else ... I still dont think she is clear of it. Dont anyone read it ... total mess with your head stuff ...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Great jokes (all of them & both sexes), good tonic for a Monday (do you have liability insurance though, as nearly choked on my beer :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freddyawsum' Meeka you are absolutely correct here, I read the first 2 chapters and rejected it as a lot of rubbish, written by a guy divorced and remarried 5 times, probably 6 by now, who is not a role model of success, but of failure with a serious disconnect from reality. And his book sells on the humour and he's laughing all the way to the bank. My wife read it and believed it, everything turned worse ... took about 4 years to get her to realise that one cannot continually reinterpret what people say and to make it mean something else ... I still dont think she is clear of it. Dont anyone read it ... total mess with your head stuff ... Careful Freddy, I bet there are loads of women on RHP who have this book in their bookshelf.
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
I like this Forum. *having a little Chuckle* Foxy
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Seachange73
11 years ago
My ex-husband bought the book a long time ago for us to get a better understanding of our behaviours and our dynamics. Lol. I read it ti indulge him and you are right. Full of crock and should be read as a source of amusement. Paints men and women into stereotypes. It should be read with an open mind and a taken with a grain of salt. A case of 'don't believe all that is published just because it is popular'. I have put the book to better use after, lining our pet bunny's cage to catch bunny's pellets.. Hehe.
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Plain280
11 years ago
during sex and created a shit load of problems as the majority of men actually think they are Gods and they are anything but. Or male revenge, but we are not clever enough to think that one through are we???
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Freddyawsum' Meeka you are absolutely correct here, I read the first 2 chapters and rejected it as a lot of rubbish, written by a guy divorced and remarried 5 times, probably 6 by now, who is not a role model of success, but of failure with a serious disconnect from reality. And his book sells on the humour and he's laughing all the way to the bank. My wife read it and believed it, everything turned worse ... took about 4 years to get her to realise that one cannot continually reinterpret what people say and to make it mean something else ... I still dont think she is clear of it. Dont anyone read it ... total mess with your head stuff ... Careful Freddy, I bet there are loads of women on RHP who have this book in their bookshelf. I dont care. You, lilyorchards bunny and I have it correctly classified, fait accompli in my estimation
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RHP User
11 years ago
Good tonic after a hard day. Woman asks "can you help with this honey" (can you do all the work and I will watch to make sure you do it right) :-) Sometimes - Woman "can you help me with this honey": Guy: "Shortly, or hang on a minute" (after the footy has finished and hopefully you have forgotten by then)
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RHP User
11 years ago
We NEVER forget.......
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' We NEVER forget....... Bahhahaha, I believe you :-) (currently working on a mind numbing, forgetfulness inducing cocktail / martini to lovingly provide to woman whilst I watch sport drinking beer, just need woman to try it on)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Whilst I'm having a chuckle at some of the answers, I just can't add to it, as some of the girls on the site can attest, if I think it, I will tell you straight up, people will always know what I'm thinking/feeling and if I don't know, I'll tell you that as well :)....... Have fun and Enjoy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Three mates are struggling all saturday morning with a backyard project, real man stuff. Wifey walks past loaded with grocery bags, takes a casual glance over and quips, "why dont you do it this way..." All three chorus " what are you @%#)& talking about, dont you think we ¥€¶√©$ know what we're doing ???" After 5 mins of standing there looking " thats a really good idea, we should do it that way, its brilliant!" Now .... who's for humble pie... how do they do that ??? Aaaarrrggghhh ! - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Firstly, I understand the lighthearted meaning you used for your comment about the drug for women to make them mind numbed and forgetful. But as a victim of said drug and I'm sure others on this site, find that reference totally unacceptable and offensive. For us, it's not funny AT ALL. Try thinking first......
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MsJonesy
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freddyawsum' Three mates are struggling all saturday morning with a backyard project, real man stuff. Wifey walks past loaded with grocery bags, takes a casual glance over and quips, "why dont you do it this way..." All three chorus " what are you @%#)& talking about, dont you think we ¥€¶√©$ know what we're doing ???" After 5 mins of standing there looking " thats a really good idea, we should do it that way, its brilliant!" Now .... who's for humble pie... how do they do that ??? Aaaarrrggghhh ! - Posted from rhpmobile We can multitask!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have you ever realised that a womans "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" equates to a mans "I'll be home in 5 minutes"
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RHP User
11 years ago
One man says, "You are a lucky man" when complimenting another man about his wife..... ......what he really mean is "I really want to have sex with your wife".... There are a lot of men on this site I consider very, very lucky!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'anywhichway007' Firstly, I understand the lighthearted meaning you used for your comment about the drug for women to make them mind numbed and forgetful. But as a victim of said drug and I'm sure others on this site, find that reference totally unacceptable and offensive. For us, it's not funny AT ALL. Try thinking first...... Are you serious. I was not talking about, and never mentioned, anything about any "said" drugs. I was talking about a nice tasting alcoholic drink that she could enjoy while I was watching the footy, and hopefully forget about the chore she wanted me to do. No ill-intent or malice implied or meant and I do not apologise for it. FFS. I also find it offensive that you would relate your bad experience, and a totally unacceptable and shocking criminal activity, to my light hearted unrelated thread.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I tend to say "Oh...?" when I'm displeased and "Mhmmm..." when I'm considering just how pissed off I should be. Usually I'm completely silent when I'm absolutely fuming though. Sort of like the calm before the storm. This could have something to do with the fact that I'm ginger and we all know what they say about that ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
So why can't you have sex and have a headache ?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Cherish_j' Have you ever realised that a womans "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" equates to a mans "I'll be home in 5 minutes" ONLY 5 ?? Is this related to 'biggest whoppers told' thread ?? Because a woman (thinks) she is a better multitasker (thanks kissk for raising this issue), its 5 minutes per task, plus slippage from yesterday .. its more like 45 minutes to the mans 15
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RHP User
11 years ago
When I say "Seriously?", it's not a question. I'm usually expressing disbelief at some kind of idiosyncrasy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freddyawsum' Quoting 'Cherish_j' Have you ever realised that a womans "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" equates to a mans "I'll be home in 5 minutes" ONLY 5 ?? Is this related to 'biggest whoppers told' thread ?? Because a woman (thinks) she is a better multitasker (thanks kissk for raising this issue), its 5 minutes per task, plus slippage from yesterday .. its more like 45 minutes to the mans 15 Really???? When I say I'll be ready in 5 it will take me 5, maybe 10 on a bad day, but my ex used to say he would be home from the pub in 5 it was closer to an hour
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Hawt1
11 years ago
I used to always get in trouble with the Ex for saying exactly what I thought about things... I (and she) came to the determination I needed to coach things in a way she could understand and not take offence to, rather than straight out saying what I meant. Seems honest factual speak isn't every woman's cup of tea. Often after being on the receiving end of a tirade I would found myself repeating this mantra... "I don't know of any other way to say what I mean". This sideways double speak just messes shit up lol.A mere male
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