F46
To tell or not to tell
November 08 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting roxy1002 " Since 80% of adults have herpes type 1 and over 25% have herpes type 2, there must be people on this site with one or both. Your thoughts??80% + 25%=105%Im not remotely related to Einstein in any way but Im having a hard time getting my herpes free head around those figures A quick google on Australian herpes stats reveals Genital herpes affects 1 in 8 Australian adults.It is twice as common in adult women (1 in 6) as in adult men (1 in 12).Genital herpes is most prevalent amongst women aged 35 - 44 years.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I guess the lack of response tells me all I need to know. If you can't even comment on a forum topic on the subject then I guess most of you are keeping silent on the topic with people you meet too.
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RHP User
13 years ago
This one has come up a few times in the last couple of weeks. Reality is there are more people with STIs than without so that being the case, it's up to each person to be responsible for themselves. You play with fire...
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RHP User
13 years ago
meant lies lies and statistics…it's to early
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RHP User
13 years ago
But I'll answer. ANY STD or STI be it current with visible symptoms or is dormant, must be communicated in my mind. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER should you play with visible symptoms.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I doubt if anyone is going to say''hey yeah,I have a whole list of stds and never tell anyone''...people will be responsible or not. All you can do is to be as safe an responsible as you can be.Meeka's responses on a similar thread are worth a look,she sums it up well.x R
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RHP User
13 years ago
^^^agreed!! Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' But I'll answer. ANY STD or STI be it current with visible symptoms or is dormant, must be communicated in my mind. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER should you play with visible symptoms.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I completely agree with you. I am just concerned that too many on this site prob don't. Besides are you aware that most people with type 2 don't know that have it, don't get any recognisable symptoms and herpes is never tested for in a std screen. I will ask another question? Do people ask those they meet if they have any stds, or been checked lately or have asked a doctor to be tested for the non routine tests or does everyone just assume people are sts free?
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am lucky because I am a part of the 20% who don't have type 1 and type 2 was the one I was always worried about. True STI's are sometimes difficult to detect if you are the one not infected. Full disclosure is extremely important. Mike Genital warts can lead to cervical cancer and can now be mostly prevented with gardasil immunisation.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes, it is a sensitive subject Roxy (contrary to what some may say). I recently raised the same question in the forums and the whole 'aspect' of telling. Given that 80 percent of the general population (and don't forget in that demographic we would have virgins, nuns, asexual people, etc, etc), it's probably pretty safe to say that 'most' people who are sexually active, and whether they use a condom or not, will have been exposed to either the HSV1 or HSV2 virus. To tell or not, may in fact be a moot point, as often times, the carrier is not even aware they have been exposed (they never have symptoms) so I don't know. It's a hard one. If I were aware I was a definite carrier, I would feel compelled to advise any would be partner but, chances are, if they are sexually active, they probaby already have it anyway. It's a risk we take as sexual beings that contact with the herpes virus is highly likely in the pursuit of sexual relationships and really, the only way to be totally sure we avoid it.. is abstinence.
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RHP User
13 years ago
if you are likely to transfer You Must Tell No Brainer
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was pleased with his honesty as I felt I could do some research and make an informed decision about whether I still wanted to have sex with him. I found this site helpful.http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/genital_herpes.htmI have had NSU in the past and told my sexual partner at the time because, according to the doctor, men usually pass it on. It is a STI where men don't get symptoms. Damned irritating for women. Chlamydia is the one that has been spreading like wildfire. Interestingly its women in the older age bracket (over 40) who seem to be diagnosed most often. Some in the health sector think this is due to women re-entering the dating game and not being assertive enough to negotiate safe sex. So guys, be responsible and use the balloons whether requested to or not. . . .women. . . .protect yourselves and don't party without balloons!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Many people have both, that's how you can have 80% and 25%!! Your stats are also out of date. The reason I bring this topic up is that I was recently with someone casually, using protection of course but then a month later when I asked if he wanted to hang out again, he said he couldn't cause he had a herpes outbreak and that he could contact me again in a few weeks. I was quite horrified and immediately got tested. The test came back fine but now I am worried about a repeat experience.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have been known to suffer from oral lip Cold sores at times .. when under stress or sunburnt .. the joys of having had chicken pox as a child .. I make it a point of avoiding any form of physical contact if i have one especially kissing .. I purposely hibernate until it is cleared up ... I haven't and don't ever wish to contract HSV2
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RHP User
13 years ago
Roxy my ex is on this site and has genital herpes and has known about his STD status for the last 7-8 yrs. I can safely say that he would not tell anyone that he has an STD. I was with him for 3 yrs and even became pregnant to him and he didn't tell me he had herpes. The thing with Herpes that he was unaware of is that it is still very contagious even if you are not having an outbreak (sores). So it makes no difference if you wear protection or not ( which he always preferred no to) and in the case of pregnancy if contracted during pregnancy it can be fatal to the baby . Now I don't believe that people with STD's or STI's should be made to stay away from sites like this, they should however make it known to an intended sexual partner that they have something. In my situation I was not infected but felt betrayed and also humiliated that someone else thought to take my perfect sexual and physical health and play risky games with it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I wouldnt even b looking to play if i was in any way infected - not worth playing russian roulette now is there....i get tested quite frequently so im always honest with my playmates.....if i ever found out that someone from the site had passed something onto me id definately tell them i got it from them and would expect them to tell whoeva else they had been fooling around with....common sense prevails - not worth getting a bad rep about this sort of thing now is there???
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RHP User
13 years ago
Castro fixed his AIDS problem really quick.anyone with AIDS he put in prison.Then he stuffed them on to boats and sent them to the states, where we had to sort through all the criminals, psychos, and people with diseases from genuine refugees.If someone knowingly transmits a sexual disease, they should be locked up as they will infect that person and possible kill or injure a new born child with the disease.
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RHP User
13 years ago
That woman NEVER told me her husband could hit so damned hard and fast :(
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RHP User
13 years ago
do your research better and doh those % s overlap and are not addition so oz boy you are no Einstein nor Schweitzer . Those figure are also for general population not a group of more sexually active adults so who practices safe sex , no swopping of bodily fluids at all ?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Bahahaha a round of applause??
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RHP User
13 years ago
So I have had cold sores since I was a child and your telling me I have a STI. I would never assume having a cold sore on your face to exclude you from somewhere or any activities. I had a partner for over 20 years and he NEVER got one and didnt care if I gave him head with one either. I myself prefer to refrain from kissing or oral for safetys sake but that was of no concern to him and he did not develop any disease.As a child you are made to feel embarrased by having this sore and now as an adult too. If I though had an transmittable STD yes I would tell my partners.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'ladylikesu'So I have had cold sores since I was a child and your telling me I have a STI. I would never assume having a cold sore on your face to exclude you from somewhere or any activities. I had a partner for over 20 years and he NEVER got one and didnt care if I gave him head with one either. I myself prefer to refrain from kissing or oral for safetys sake but that was of no concern to him and he did not develop any disease. There are two types of Herpes: HSV-1, or Herpes simplex which causes most cold sores, and HSV-2, wich causes most genital herpes. It's important to mention that genital herpes can be caused by both HSV-1 or HSV-2. HSV-1 is usually acquired during childhood. Though not an STI, it can be transmitted through oral sex and result in a genital herpes infection. So oral sex during a HSV-1 outbreak is risky business. The good news is that most people will get less outbreaks over time, as their body will make antibodies. Personally I had my last cold sore 20 years ago.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'ladylikesu' So I have had cold sores since I was a child and your telling me I have a STI. I would never assume having a cold sore on your face to exclude you from somewhere or any activities. I had a partner for over 20 years and he NEVER got one and didnt care if I gave him head with one either. I myself prefer to refrain from kissing or oral for safetys sake but that was of no concern to him and he did not develop any disease.As a child you are made to feel embarrased by having this sore and now as an adult too. If I though had an transmittable STD yes I would tell my partners. Yes, Lady..., as Ms M said, the type 1 is often passed on in childhood. It does have the capacity to be passed on during oral sex. My daughter had a sexual encounter with someone who was prodomal (before the sore broke out) and ended up with genital herpes (type 1). It is so common that.. as I said, if 8 in 10 people have the virus (and we are looking at the general population).. I think it safe to say that almost everybody has been exposed to it. Some never show symptoms (possibly the case for your partner of 20 years). Her doctor at the time pretty much stated it would not particularly affect her ongoing life and .. it hasn't. It is just the same as picking up chickenpox.. the virus continues to live in the body even after the initial infection has been and gone. Please don't feel insulted.. it is.. just a fact of life and nobody should think any less of someone because they have cold sores.. my own family members have them (aside from my daughter - just picked up as children and now.. with the occasional cold sore as adults). I'm sure as hell I would have been exposed somewhere along the line. It is...as it is.. part of the human condition.
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RHP User
13 years ago
you make an excellent case for better screening of people coming to this country..perhaps just not in the way you meant
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'icumfast'Castro fixed his AIDS problem really quick. anyone with AIDS he put in prison. Then he stuffed them on to boats and sent them to the states, where we had to sort through all the criminals, psychos, and people with diseases from genuine refugees. If someone knowingly transmits a sexual disease, they should be locked up as they will infect that person and possible kill or injure a new born child with the disease. pin a yellow star on them at the same time, so we all know who they are the fuckers! anyway Its pretty clear not a single person on RHP has any STD but If I find one I will out them and we can light a bonfire, and roast their private parts? Ya know people kill more people in cars, in domestic violence , with guns and most things are treat able its not a nice thing but its like life, you breath you fuck you take your chances in life. but your right Kill em all I say, may all their dicks fall of or there cunts dry up....fuckers! Umm do I get my very own uniform? To be part of the STD brown shirts? or can I just have a nice pink uniform that shows of my tits yours truly TR with a little black moustach
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RHP User
13 years ago
I admit it: I contracted chlamydia when I was 25. I called the guy and the reaction I got was: "Yeah? I know, what do you want?". Nice. Should he be burnt at the stake for being an arsehole? I should have known better than allowing him to fuck me without a condom! STDs are a fact of life. Should people be punished when willingly passing on a disease like HIV? A tough one. I work with a heroin addicted girl, whom, through years of using and abuse is very damaged. She contracted the virus years ago, and continues to prostitute herself without protection. More than anything I feel sadness. As much as I want to have her locked up at times. And Icumfast: If someone knowingly transmits a sexual disease, they should be locked up as they will infect that person and possible kill or injure a new born child with the disease. I hope you meant unborn child!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'DeviousMissM' I admit it: I contracted chlamydia when I was 25. I called the guy and the reaction I got was: "Yeah? I know, what do you want?". Nice. And Icumfast: If someone knowingly transmits a sexual disease, they should be locked up as they will infect that person and possible kill or injure a new born child with the disease. I hope you meant unborn child! STI can cause a still birth ... BUT .. they can also cause complications in a live vaginal birth .. the main one being blindness if the mother has active HPV2 or even chlamydia or Syphilis at the time of the delivery
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RHP User
13 years ago
I find the discussion about this kind of amusing and distracting from the real issue of safe sex. HSV1 is cold sores - they are commonly on the mouth but can be transmitted to other parts of the body through skin to skin contact. This means they can be transmitted to genitals and someone can end up with HSV1 (cold sores) on their genitals. They can then pass it on to someone else's genitals, or mouth, and so on. Is it any less an STI because it's HSV1 not HSV2? Techincally, yes. Practically, not really I wouldn't think. The same symptoms can occur. There is the same risk of transmission. For all intents and purposes, it would be the same experience as having HSV2 on the genitals, or on the mouth. So to everyone with cold sores ... if you haven't already contemplated this, perhaps it's time you did. 80% of the population has HSV1, I think? Another thing to contemplate. HSV1 and HSV2 don't just spread between mouth and genitals. If someone has an outbreak on their genitals and the blisters come into contact with your arm, you that can be the site of skin to skin contact, transmission, and your future outbreaks.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If you have oral herpes you can give it to someone on their genitals.If you have genital herpes you can give it to someone on their lips.Just because someone has herpes on their lips doesn't mean it's type 1Just because someone has herpes on their genitals doesn't mean it's type 2Giving someone head with an outbreak is irresponsible and unsafeMrsSplicey
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RHP User
13 years ago
if you 'know'......arent you obliged to share that information? i think its even become a legal obligation, and if not....it should be.
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RHP User
11 years ago
as a nurse i have counselled many people who have been told they have hsv 1 & 2 on their genitals. the stats for it are now up to 85%of the population have it and as such its not reportable as most people have it and are just unaware of it as have never had a breakout. Women are more likely to get it from men than men to woman. most people are totally asymptomatic and never have a breakout. A doctor once told a patient it was just a cold sore between her knees and bellybutton at least it wasent in her eyes. so for all you "ohh i would never sleep with someone who has it" .who are quite happy to fuck around with no condoms. Are probably the ones spreading the love about as you are not showing symptoms there fore living in ignorance about your status. People with hsv 1& 2 for the most point are really scared of passing it on. Will take care not to pass it on to others. But sadly once you are shedding condoms are no barrier you can pass it on regardless. you can take anti virals that suppress the virus and greatly reduce the shedding. would u turn around to someone with a cold sore on their face and make them feel like crap and embarrassed because of it ? would u still date someone with a cold sore on their lip? cause essentially its the same virus just on a different body part. Shingles , chicken pox mouth ulcers are all from the herpies family . it can go up ur nose, on your fingers pretty much any pathway the nerve it attacks goes to. I get its an unpleasant thing and no one wants it but in all seriousness you probably already carry it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
This is really confusing. Im going off to google this and try and understand. So you can be a carrier and pass it on, but dont know youve got it because youve never had an outbreak. So if thats the case, how can stats be correct if theres surely lots of ppl who dont know they have it. And they cant test for it? So how come my tests for everything have come back clear? Its even written herpies nil on the results? And if a person carrying it but doesnt have outbreaks( so they dont know they have it) can pass it on, how come ppl dont pass it on between outbreaks if they knowingly have it?? Im really confused and a little bit panicy. If i was with someone and noticed any blemishes or sores down there, i wouldnt go there at all.
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RHP User
11 years ago
it can be confusing willowtree. Qld health do not test for hsv specifically unless you are having an active breakout which they swab at the time . I have seen hsv 1 which is typically associated with face on genitals and vice versa. when you have the virus in your system HSV enters the body through the skin of the genitals, mouth and anus, or through tiny cuts and abrasions in the skin anywhere on the body. It lives in the nerves beneath the skin and can remain there, inactive and unnoticed, for many years. people are exposed to HSV 1 or HSV 2 during sexual or intimate skin to skin contact, there are three possible outcomes:Some people who are infected with the herpes virus will not experience the level of discomfort and illness of the primary episode described above. However, they will notice a smaller outbreak of blisters and irritation in the genital area.The second possibility is that people will get a primary episode of genital herpes. This can be painful and may make people feel generally unwell. Sometimes people have fevers and pains in their joints (similar to the flu), or painful blisters in their genital area, which then turn into ulcers. The ulcers appear in the vaginal opening or anus, or on the penis or scrotum and it can also be painful to pass urine or a bowel motion. In this situation, it may take more than three weeks for the blisters to heal and other discomforts to completely subside. It is worthwhile to attend a sexual health clinic or to see a doctor as soon as possible after the blisters have been noticed.Most of the time there will be no signs or symptoms where people will not know that they have the herpes virus and will never experience outbreaks. However, the virus may still be passed on to sexual partners.Transmission The risk of herpes spreading from person to person is high just before, during, and for the week following an outbreak of herpes. This means that even when a person is free of symptoms, the virus can still spread to another person if the infected person happens to be "shedding" herpes virus at the time of sexual intercourse.Both viruses are passed from one person to another by close body contact. This means that:genital herpes can be spread through the rubbing of genital skin during sexual activity.genital herpes may be passed on to the mouth of a sexual partner through oral sex, causing oral ‘cold sores’ – although this is not very commona cold sore on a lip could spread to the genital area of a sexual partner as a result of oral sex Prevention A person with herpes needs to be aware of symptoms of an outbreak to protect partners from infection. However, it is important to note that herpes can be passed on even if there are no symptoms or visible signs of an outbreak on the skin.To help reduce the risk of transmission:avoid sex during an outbreak of genital herpes or as soon as they become aware of symptoms.avoid kissing and oral sex if there are herpes lesions on the mouth or lipsensure that herpes sores do not come into contact with another personThese suggestions should be followed until one week after the sores have completely gone.Condoms help to prevent the transmission of herpes. However, because herpes is transmitted by skin to skin contact, transmission can still occur even when condoms are used because the condom may not cover affected areas.When a person is giving a man oral sex (his penis in their mouth), then condoms should always be used. Also if a person’s mouth is coming into contact with their partner’s anus or vulva, dental dams should always be used by both men and women.Apart from these factors, it is important to get enough sleep, have a healthy diet and to keep your stress levels manageable. thats from qld health website. as you can see from above a lot of people are asymptomatic ,hence it gets shared about a lot. its the holier than though attitudes that shit me. people already feel like leapers when they have it. unless you are specifically tested for it you cannot claim to be herpes free. it is not routine to test for it and it is not a reportable sti to your partner in qld. so before anyone makes snarky comments get tested for it because after all it could be you that's unknowingly passing it around . how amazing does that make you feel now? If you are prepared to fuck without a condom you cannot sit in judgement cause you never had a breakout. you may have it you just dont know.
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RHP User
11 years ago
More of you have it already than don't, so why are you all stressing. Genital herpes is not a notificable infection. Because of this there are only estimates of infection rates in Australia. These range from approx 60% to 80% of Australians with about 20% being genital. World wide rates are estimated at 95% Normal STI checks do not look for HSV, as it is not considered dangerous. Having HSV 1 significantly reduces the risk of getting HSV 2 Genital herpes HSV2 and HSV1 is infectious without symptoms or lesions. Barrier protection with anti viral creams is the best way to stop cross infection, though condoms are only effective 9 out 10 times for men to women and 19 out of 20 for infections from women to men. Adding anti viral creams reduce the risk a further 50%. So for penetrative sex condoms have a 5% chance of cross infection. Consistent condoms use only reduces HSV rates by 30%. Using the female condoms and anti viral and anti bacterial creams slightly reduces that infection rate. Any casual skin to skin contact can transmit the virus, the virus must come in contact at some stage with damaged (microscopic) mucus membranes of the eyes, mouth, nose, and genitals. The hands are the main method of transition between people. There is no known cure. There is no evidence that HSV rates are higher in sexually active or promiscuous people. Genital herpes can not cause cervical cancer. Complications from HSV 1 or 2 are rare. The most common and entirely preventable complications from HSV 1 or 2 are psychological and may include suicide. HSV is not a notificable infection as it is not considered a major threat. Carriers are under no legal obligation to divulge to anyone if they are infected or not. The virus remains in the body for life. Lesions can occurs on the lips, in the mouth and throat, eyes, nose, fingers, palms, toes, and genitals. Really people you should be more worried about influenza than HSV. You all walk around public spaces not covering your mouths spreading deadly virus all the time. Soon as you label a relatively harmless virus as an STI you all go nuts. Over half of you have it and it will never effect you in any way. Influenza kills thousands of people every year including children, it makes you very sick, yet you all happily spread it to your families, friends, and loved once without a moments thought. Get a grip. Wish they would call Influenza an STI and people would start worrying about what really matters.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes thats pretty much sums up what i reseaarched online. Its still quite an eye opener, because we all seem to rely on the rubber as keeping us protected, but info about herpies shows that the good old balloon doesnt do much in regards to this. So its not a registered sti? I wonder how they get the stats then, especially if there are supposedly many ppl who are unknowing carriers, even though they practice safe sex( so they assume) bit of a shock really
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RHP User
11 years ago
Was also reading they are close to a permenant cure that is in stage 2 of trials now,something about hydrogen. I also read that because its now a popular trend to be hair free for both sexes in the pubic area, the contact of skin on skin in more prominent so there has been an increase of cases in last 10 yrs. so the good old hairy patch was a natural barrier for catching herpies. Anyway ive learnt a bit more so thats always good. Cheers
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RHP User
11 years ago
yes condoms don't always work to well in this case :(.i do sexual health and mental health and it affects people so bad ,the stigma of it and attitudes of others towards it have devastating effects some people become suicidal and attempt suicide due to the reaction. but yet if it was on your lip(face) no one cares.... the new vax is great news as its onto human trials now so fingers crossed it works soon and that's fixed. but chlamydia is now becoming resistant to abs as is gonorrhea. So condoms are still vital. the statisticians work out the numbers with audits they do the magic percentages. where im based on the coast the number of people with it is very high. we cant tell a person "its your current partner" as it lies dormant. so many wives/husbands come in with outbreaks and accuse the husband/wife which we cant prove. due to so many people having the virus in their bloodstream. or the partner that plays away gets it and has to tell the other... thats always awful. There are websites for people who have stds like herpies who want to date due to being treated like scum by others . the uptake in oz is very low though. It would be nice if the attitudes changed as people with it are still sexual people and no less of a person because of it. locking them up is futile as most of the word would be in jail. its a cold sore between your bellybutton and knees.
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RHP User
11 years ago
yes condoms don't always work to well in this case :(.i do sexual health and mental health and it affects people so bad ,the stigma of it and attitudes of others towards it have devastating effects some people become suicidal and attempt suicide due to the reaction. but yet if it was on your lip(face) no one cares.... the new vax is great news as its onto human trials now so fingers crossed it works soon and that's fixed. but chlamydia is now becoming resistant to abs as is gonorrhea. So condoms are still vital. the statisticians work out the numbers with audits they do the magic percentages. where im based on the coast the number of people with it is very high. we cant tell a person "its your current partner" as it lies dormant. so many wives/husbands come in with outbreaks and accuse the husband/wife which we cant prove. due to so many people having the virus in their bloodstream. or the partner that plays away gets it and has to tell the other... thats always awful. There are websites for people who have stds like herpies who want to date due to being treated like scum by others . the uptake in oz is very low though. It would be nice if the attitudes changed as people with it are still sexual people and no less of a person because of it. locking them up is futile as most of the word would be in jail. its a cold sore between your bellybutton and knees.
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