To tell or not to tell?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  If you are gonna be camming in the lounge room or having sex with randoms in the kitchen, bathroom, hallway then sure tell them up front. But... I would think with room mates the important thing is boundaries and respecting the other persons privacy. I'd be more concerned with wether or not they are a slob and things like that. Good luck

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  In your own home you want to be YOU and not feel you have to hide it! So not finding a flatmate upfront that is like minded may just end up annoying you both in the end? Plus be a stressor until it is ‘out’ so to speak, considering you started a thread about it! I know it is none of their business, but I think you need to make it their business regardless, upfront, as isn't everyone’s bag, and do you really want to live with someone that thinks ill of you for something that just seems normal to the rest of us? This is what i'd do if i were in your shoes: First I'd approach it like everyone approaches finding a house mate, but before it is locked in (or at the locking in stage), just ask them out for a drink as a thanks for being interested/meet and greet/welcome potential housemate thing. If they are not willing to share a drink , then again do you want to live with someone who can’t even socialise with you? When at the drinks stage, start with the obvious topics, work, house rules, general interests etc and after a few drinks when you've built some repour, switch the topic and to love life, then with a cheeky smile and a nervous giggle, say you are currently having fun mucking about on this crazy site and you are a tad embarrassed about how some may perceive it, but how can the 2 million members in Oz all be sooo wrong? lol! I guess what i am trying to say, is sell the site to them in a way that makes it the opposite of some perceptions that it is 'XXX HARDCORE/SEXUAL PREADTORS SITE ONLY 4 SEX FREAKS' that some people think it is, and just explain that most of it’s members are on all the other dating sites too and it isn’t really that different? Just more straight forward and to the point with better profile pics haha All my close mates know and ask for regular RHP updates, and i have chatted to other single mates about it and they couldn’t sign on fast enough! But my old school parents would never EVER be given any indication that I do anything other than Facebook... And they already think that is wrong haha

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Or at bnleast scope out how they are going to feel about you bringing "randoms" home to shag. Unless you're not planning on bringing any home, then don't bother telling.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I am a very open minded person by nature & this often gets me into trouble because I dont think before I tell people stuff. I have no problem letting everyone know that I am on rhp. All my friends know, my work mates know, even my mother knows! I have regreted telling a few people in the past that I am on rhp because they take it the wrong way or they arnt open minded enough to except that fact that casual sex isnt a bad thing and that online sites arnt only made up of creepy old guys. lol It seems a lot of people have their minds made up when it comes to online adult dating/sex sites & no matter what you say nothing will change their minds. I think it all comes down to how open minded & accepting someone is. If they arnt then dont tell them. If they are then go right ahead. I dont care what people think about me so it doesnt worry me to tell people I am a member of an online sex site & that I do use it to pick up. If they cant handle that part of me then I they arnt open minded enough for me and I wouldnt want anything to do with them anyway. Taby

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Really Rusty.. do you think it will bother them? I wouldn't have thought to mention it.. you know... unless you're hosting a sex party every week and need the use of their bedroom on those nights.HugsStalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  let me see now - . well obviously Mother...other family members..my flatmate (who recently got into online dating himself - not here though)...my friends...work colleagues...even a few old school friends (who I intorduced to the site) as well as one memorable old school friend who recognised my boobs on here (prior to face pic days)... . OK so I am very open about my life....if someone asks me a question I will answer it...I see no point in hiding it...some of those mentioned above know I am online dating just not necessarily which site will other still have been curious and tried this site out for themselves... . If you are unsure just let the conversation develop naturally - you know after they see you meeting multitude of people and want to know how...or they find you live on your computer (basically because the ooze pond wont let you go) and ask what keeps you so enthralled . Good Luck in finding the right flatmate for you - its not an easy process at all . Kisses Focus

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  lil_bit_rusty....Now that you have started this post......well, you have sort of put it out there to fellow rhper's that you are after a flatmate..Soooooo....why not give a little more info, your perfect flatmate may already be here on this site..* Are you looking for a male or female?* Pets - no pets* Smoking - non smoker* Is the room furnished....you get the drift..I seem to remember a while ago that another guy did advertise for a flatmate here....and I think he found one..And seriously, a classified section here would be handy, not just for housemates but to list all sorts of things,slighty used but not abused bondage equipment...kinky outfits that looked so good in the pic but are too big or small....porn swap....kind of like "datefinder" but for bits 'n pieces, things and stuff.what is someones junk is anothers treasure.ps...people who travel a lot for work are great housemates...same with Doctors & Nurses...

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'focusliason' If you are unsure just let the conversation develop naturally - you know after they see you meeting multitude of people and want to know how...or they find you live on your computer (basically because the ooze pond wont let you go) and ask what keeps you so enthralled That's the way I'm leaning towards Focus. I'm quite open and will tell people if I'm asked. Definitely no multitude of partners here though. I'm finding that as I'm getting more involved in real life I'm spending less and less time on RHP and as I'm not really looking for random hookups (well ok, occasionally), I doubt that it'll be much of an issue either.I am a considerate person (and hope that any playmates would be too!) so really the worst that could happen would be the "Busted whilst ducking to the toilet in the nude" scenario. Embarrassing, but generally easy to laugh off. .Ruby - Thanks for the chuckle. I hadn't thought of all the things that people on RHP might place in a classifieds section.You don't see a lot of ads for those sorts of things in the Trading Post that's for sure. .So if anyone is interested here are the details:- Can be either Male or Female,- Must be clean and reasonably tidy as I am,- I'm employed full time and would prefer someone who's also employed, will consider a student,- Furnished 2brm unit with shared bathroom and an empty 2nd bedroom that has large built in w'robe,- Own detached laundry with washer and dryer,- Rent includes wireless broadband, electricity, gas and phone (calls other than local or national will be separate though),- No pets,- Smokers are okay but must do so outside,- Great location roughly 4km from CBD that'd suit anyone really, easy freeway access, 200m to Greenslopes Busway with another city bus at doorstep, 5 min walk to Greenslopes Hospital or to catch a bus to PA, 10 min walk to Greenslopes Mall or Stones Corner for shopping and only 50m to parks, sports fields and walkways,- No off street parking but plenty of street parking available,- $500 bond,- All of this for only $160 per week. .Of course you would have to put up with my company. I'm not that bad though. So if anyone's interested or would like more details feel free to send a message or flirt..Thanks everyone for your input too. Cheers.Rusty

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Past Jules wishes she was you. :) Excellent attitude. Wish I had the same at 21.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  In response to the point raised by Chillii about grooming:This is purely about finding a flatmate (I also have an ad on a mainstream real estate site) as the potential problems of a live in playmate relationship gone sour are not appealing to me. I would hope that any flatmate could become a friend but I'm not seeking a playmate as a flatmate..Cheers.Rusty

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'HotSexyChilli'I'd have the same reaction if my potential employer raised issues of sexuality during a work interview, I'd be out of the door in a flash.Chilli xx Hehe. It's purely a non-paying volunteer position (preferably you would be skilled in multiple positions) but it can have some very attractive benefits.Working under me can provide great job satisfaction and there's terrific opportunity for advancement to a top position.This is a hands on role, your oral skills will be tested and you must be willing to explore alternative ideas.On the job training may be given in areas you're unfamiliar with and regular performance evaluations will take place to track your progress.Dedication and effort will be rewarded with multiple performance bonuses, with the climax of the project resulting in an over the top feeling of a job well done..If you're interested then I'll be happy to apply within. .Cheers.Rusty

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  There I was, sitting on the bed of Focus' flatmate...he was on his computer, I was on my netbook, chatting to a "friend". who wanted to see my arse on cam (well we do play together occassionally) so I dropped my knickers infront of the flatmate. Then Focus joined me and dropped her g-strings on cam as well. The flatmate never batted an eyelid except to make the offer to join us. I tend to go for honesty. You have to live with this person so they will eventually catch on anyway. If they cannot handle it, they are more than capable of finding somewhere else to live.

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