To play or not to play

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I always kinda thought no play=no play, which to us seems...well plain silly! are you there for sex or trying to cultivate friends.Personally we meet with the intention to play 1st meet, doesn't mean its going to happen, but like to be open to the idea.Some people like to do the whole getting to know you routine first, why is beyond me, because this really isn't quite like dating for singles.Maybe they thought you guys were just so yummy they chucked their rulebook away!Cheers Nev

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Do some people meet at bars and play (by that meaning kissing/foreplay) and then go home???   By no means are we suggesting a couple should play (no pressure) but we thought play was full swap maybe we misunderstood?   D & R

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  We agree, either play or no play on 1st meet. If the intention is to play extra things need to be done, like: A overnight bag taken for freshening up. and shave faces (male)  Hair removal gel used the day before...who wants to taste hair removal cream! or see any skin irratation from using them. Showering and grooming is a lot more particular at home before meeting...eg sharp finger nails trimmed. Baby sitters organised.   We have also been there meeting for a drink in the evening with no expectations, and then play has been suggested and we have declined because we were not prepared to that extent. We are allways open to play on 1st meet if all agree and if we meet on that basis it is fine. But if the meeting is no expectations and then others change their mind..."Sorry we cant, you guys should have told us so we could be prepared, we did ask if you guys wanted to play tonight when we chatted on the phone a couple days ago, we havnt got babysitters organised till that late"  apart from we havnt removed pubic hair!   Cheers

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I think most people want to keep there options open and have an exist strategy.There are a lot of nutters out there and by saying meet first means you have no obligation to play on the first meet.If however you click and as you said the alcohol kicks in and inhibitions are dropped .....mmmmmmCiao Hermes

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  To us no play means no play, thats cool but we agree with tastie that talking on the phone before the meet to find out if it is just a meet and greet or if there might be a chance of a bit of  play.  If everyone is on the same page the night will go a lot better instead of gee I wanted to play and they didn't or feel like you have to play when you haven't got yourself ready like shave, showered, nice underwear on etc..... But every couple is different so be prepared just in case they change their mind and ask if they do a full swap.   Blaze

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  dazza65811

  16 years ago

  I agree with Hermes' comment, it's sometimes easier to say "no play" to avoid expectations, but if everything goes well and that special spark is there, why not go for it. Do you really need to pack an overnight bag and do that special grooming, or just live in the moment if you are all cool with what is going on? (As for babysitters, no getting around that one :-( So, just take it as a complement that this couple/s wanted to enjoy a good time with you Cheers Daz

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  2more4fun

  16 years ago

  I think saying 'no play' saves a couple/single from having to make excuses later in the night if they sadly don't find you attractive. On the other hand, some couples simply enjoy meeting people socially and build up the excitement of playing the next time. In all honesty, no one knows if you'd be up for play until you've met the person and gotten to know them a little. We generally suggest that we're happy to meet socially and take things from there. That means even if we're genuinely interested but genuinely tired and prefer to take a raincheck, we're not giving anyone any expectations :)

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  While I'm not part of a couple (currently) I am a single girl who's played with couples and my profile regularly states - meet fist and play later. Personally I've found that there seems to be the expectation that if you talk with or agree to meet with someone that you're happy to jump into bed straight away - which just isn't the case. There's a difference between loving sex and just being easy.Meet first play later just means that I reserve the right to say no thanks if I choose to. It's a polite way of letting couples and men know it's not a sure thing.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Different things may happen when we first time meet a couple. For example, they could have used photos from10 years ago. Or just personalities would not match. Also, it would be nice to have a bit of time to talk and decide if we're both happy to go forward (and maybe let the other couple do the same). Could be uncomfortable to do in a bar situation. (Should we, like, start whispering to each other in front of them? Or go hide in a corner? And then come back and say 'see you later, guys, sorry -  won't happen') Also, as mentioned, some special preparations are usually done on the 'play' night.   As a couple with a kid, we can sneak out for a couple of hours for a 'social' meeting, and it's fairly easy on any night, but for a play night we have to go with the babysitter stuff, set aside a weekend night, maybe book a hotel etc. Kinda risky to get so involved if you're meeting someone for the first time and not sure what will happen.   That said, we would not refuse to play on the first night if everyone's ok with that, it's just chances are that this is unlikely to happen.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Hi again   A thank you to everyone who sent us a reply by private message and yes we have read them all. We respect everyones  privacy and understand that some things written were done so in confidence, it would be great  if you felt comfortable to  edit them and post them in the forum to share with everyone else. There was a lot of good points raised.   One of which we just have to throw up (sent from a couple)    Do you say thanks but no thanks when one of you is interested (in the other couple) and your partner isn't? or if its not that bad do you just take one for the team? lol   Singles what do you do?  If you like one half of the couple but not the other.   Personally i wouldn't but hubby said he would (so sweet lol)   D & R

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Quoting '2more4fun'I think saying 'no play' saves a couple/single from having to make excuses later in the night if they sadly don't find you attractive. On the other hand, some couples simply enjoy meeting people socially and build up the excitement of playing the next time. In all honesty, no one knows if you'd be up for play until you've met the person and gotten to know them a little. We generally suggest that we're happy to meet socially and take things from there. That means even if we're genuinely interested but genuinely tired and prefer to take a raincheck, we're not giving anyone any expectations :)i think you nailed the answer :)

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  My vote is in with 2more4fun... I (read We... still trying to see if I can change the profile to couple) have the "Meet first, Play Later" set so that if there is no chemestry then there is no problem.   For everyone the intention of "No play"/"Meet First, Play Later" has different meanings... sich is the diversity of humans and ambiguity of the statement.

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