M58
Things you wished you didn't overhear on a call.....
September 02 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Heaven forbid your 'lover' should have a period then.... Game Over??? Lol.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I've got a show stopper..I've been busy in the city and have not made it down to see my mother in a number of calendar flips. I feel a little guilty, but I know where she is. Then I get a call saying she's in hospital. My good buddy AliS was coming over for a dink and since her and mum get on well, we piled in the Doc' and hit the road.Mum get's discharged before we arrive so we sit in the lounge and chatter. Well Ali and mum do. Mum talks boring gossip about neighbours, how bad Muslims are and which non-conservative politician she hates most this month.So I sit quietly as the chatter goes by. Then they start talking about menopause. Ho hum... Yawn.."... It's terrible if you don't get your hormones right. I use to hemorrhage each time I had an orgasm"FUCK MUM.. THANKS A BUNCH FOR THAT!!Go on fuckers.. beat that story?..
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RHP User
13 years ago
You know, I could say I've been on the other end of this: things my daughter has said while on the phone that I wish the poor unfortunate person I was talking to wasn't subjected to the randomness and opennes of my daughter. This includes: "Mum.....just letting you know, I just got my period......just warning you I may be moody" "Hey, mum......you know my boobs are bigger than Lizzie's???" "Mum!!! I'm a C cup now!!!!!! I'm no longer a B Cup!!!!! Just one smaller than you!!!!" See, I have encouraged my daughter to tell me what is on her mind, and where it's been great as we have this wonderful relationship where she's not afraid to come forth with problems and questions, and even brings me her friends' problems in the hope that I can bless them with my wisdom that she places all her faith that a loving and devoted 15 year old daughter has in her mum, I have failed miserably in teaching my daughter that very important rule "there is a time and place for everything and, darling, this is not the appropriate time and place right now - especially not when I'm on the phone with a male friend who now probably wishes he wasn't on the phone with me right now". I have watched her chase a poor guy out of my house by starting an in depth speech about tampons. The girl has no shame! No shame at all!! Help!!!!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Stupid double posting!! Nothing at all to do with the alcohol I've consumed tonight, I tell you! Nothing at all!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
but I forgot to get the mail one day and went out to the mailbox in the middle of the night and I could hear one of my neighbours fucking.... no moaning just the sound of the couple banging each other. At first it was quite soft and I wasn't sure what to make of it but as I got closer to my mailbox I was pretty sure some couple was having sex cause the sound stopped as I opened my squeaky mailbox and started again as I quietly made my way back into the house..
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RHP User
13 years ago
You are kidding right? Felonius
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RHP User
13 years ago
How dare she speak of period in public !! I am surprised you can even look at her the same way!...................you and the guy who's ears were burnt from hearing piss should get together for a drink sometimes, form some sort of " I'm a squeamish old fashioned git" brigade !
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RHP User
13 years ago
I can't think of a time I've overheard something on the phone I wish I hadn't but thanks to you I can now think of something I've read on a forum,
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RHP User
13 years ago
I knew Richo was going to get flamed for this post :s I think he probably gets the picture now, so maybe we can all focus on the question at hand :) Things I've overheard that I wished I hadn't - a 4-year old talking about their snot. Oh my lord, did I want to vomit! In fact I saw a man on cam in chat here pick his nose and eat it once when he thought no one was watching his cam. That image is forever burned in my mind, dammit!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I thought we were a friendly bunch, and here I was about to congratulate the poor guy on the first forum thread he's created. I can't see what's bad about what he's posted. There's nothing wrong about someone talking about their period, however, guys......how many of you seriousy want to know when it's happening unless it's someone close to you. Quoting 'CrackUp'Heaven forbid your 'lover' should have a period then.... Game Over??? Lol. Should his lover have a period.......wouldn't phase him in the slightest. He's talking about what her daughter said, and also having a light hearted chuckle about it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
When I was young' a mate of mine' s mother in law took a distinct dislike to me... I always felt like I was walking on egg shells when she was around and I never knew why. ? Anyway' all through our early years things somehow always went the wrong way which didnt warm her feelings to me at all..One particular day we were playing doubles in tennis and god forbid she was paired off with me, both her and her daughter were both very good tennis players and my mate and I fair because we only ever played when we were asked. Anyway' the best part of my game was always my serve, I could hit a ball with plenty of force... and because we needed points' there I am getting ready to smash the ball down as hard as I could... She being my partner was down at the net swaying around in the get ready semi bending position as you do.. Up goes the ball' and my racket is coming through at 100 mph for a almighty smash, whack' straight in to her arse.... Well' if looks could kill... all my sorry pleads fell on deaf ears as she jumped around holding her arse. Through all the cursing ' I could make out she didnt think it as funny as did everyone else there.. The only one's not laughing were her and me.. Anyway' she leaves the court grabs a towel and heads down to the beach , we finish our game about a hour later and my mate says to me, wheres mum.. I said she's down the beach adding 'in fun' she better get off the beach because the tide was waiting to come in.. Then this voice pipes up from behind saying' no Im not ' Im here smart arse.. adding she had a bruise on her arse the size of the tennis ball... Not surprising' I kept my distance and she never spoke a word to me til years later when my friend pipes up one day and says " remember the day when you hit tessie in the arse with the tennis ball... Everyone laughed except her and I still felt guilty pangs even though I could still see the funny side... Some things happen in life you have no control over... This was mine...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Put your sense of humour teeth back in ... lol, i was ragging (excuse the pun...given op's post) Lol. Jeez..Louise.
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RHP User
13 years ago
You have at least brought some good funny stories to the fore, it sure as hell beats the "look how big my dick is, but girls does size matter?" and the "why aren't I getting any action?" threads. Now, on to the task at hand, my lovely mother gave me her in depth commentary about her prolapse issues and dads impotence. Something that really just doesn't encourage an overly nice mental image. :p
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well.....seemed a little cruel to me. But no offense intended to you crackup.
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RHP User
13 years ago
in a lunchbar ordering my lunch .. young girl 20 on the phone talking full volume to a mate and i gather was trying to talk her friend into getting back with her ex. And she says........... Well you know he loves you and he wants to get back with you that is why he only let her give him a blow job because he loves you too much to fuck her ....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Lol, we have all had those 'dum de dum' moments.. hey, I have them frequently, trouble is...it's usually me with my foot in my mouth DOH.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Whenever we were out shopping and we came to the feminine higiene section, he would pick a pack from the shelves and ask loudly if this was the one they wanted. They got very embarrassed by this and would hurry ahead when we got to this section but they soon found out that this just made him call it out louder. Hes a bit of a stirrer. But you already knew that.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hey CrackUp, All good. When I started that thread, I was actually meaning things that would make anyone go ewwww. It wasn't just one thing. But, hey, that is the first of many threads now for me. So, enjoy all.......
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RHP User
13 years ago
I went on a hay ride and then a barn dance. While on the hay ride, some smart arse guy kept trying to grab my boobs, yes they were big even then As I got of the wagon I turned around and said top of my voice if you do not bugger off I will kick your nuts in that night, I was staying at a school friends house, and the band from the dance was also there. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and they, as in the band were sitting drinking and talking They were talking about me, and what slut I was an how I just was begging men to fuck me, and how I was just the sort up for a blow job yada yada I stood in that dark hall mortified and slunk back to bed, never went to that girls house again.
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RHP User
13 years ago
when you need it!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Coming from a background where sex was not discussed to single people and being the first to be married out of my siblings, my mom gave me all the spiel about how my dad could not do certain things in bed anymore.My mom, not having ever said the word "sex", would not even say it while going through the ins and outs (no pun intended :)) of her sexual dilemma that instead of saying sex she would tap her index finger on the table twice. I still can't watch a game of blackjack without imagining my parents doing it (shudder). Damn! Just realised Im doing it to the mouse pad!
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RHP User
13 years ago
As a man, as a father - as human, I figuratively hang my head in shame. I imagine a young girl, clearly quite strong in self, witnessing that about herself and losing something of herself as she tries to process what she has heard - its makes me feel sad for that young woman.Thank you for sharing.2b Continually amazed - not always for the right reasons.
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RHP User
13 years ago
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RHP User
13 years ago
I met a 50something pilot from AMM who lists Queanbeyan and Goulburn as where he lives and he told me incest turned him on. That's not the worst part. While in the middle of sex (plain vanilla missionary was his thing) he said he wished he had of done me when I was 11yo or his daughter from his first marriage. I obviously don't see him anymore but he is in a new relationship now and hope to heck that woman doesn't have children.
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